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Profile picture of Yes
Yes
@Yes
8 Years500+ PostsVirgo

Comments: 54 · Posts: 791 · Topics: 23
I'm just a loser and a nobody and a failure at life. I preach against making any kind of effort to improve my life, but in reality I'm just afraid of rejection and intimacy. I maintain this rough exterior like some sort of wannabe gangsta rapper, but ultimately I'm a pathetic virgin and my whole life revolves around getting people’s approval. I've been 'depressed' my entire life and I figure it's easier to conclude that I'm just dumb. I don't even feel pain anymore, my 'depression' is just a dull nothingness caused by my mental deficiency. If I were smarter I would've found a way out of this purgatory by now.

My ego is too big to deal with the fact that I'm not good looking so instead I devalue myself to be the complete opposite. If I can't be in the best then I will just die a virgin, if only out of spite. That uncompromising all-or-nothing attitude carries over in every other facet of my life and ultimately it just cripples me and I just don't bother with anything. In fact I actively self destruct to give myself the delusion of being in control. I would rather be nothing than admit to mediocrity.

With that comes an overwhelming need to assert my autonomy and self sufficiency, and I resist any

attempt of others trying to control or help me.

I absolutely despise the way I look from the bottom of my heart. To the point where I have almost

completely dropped out from life. I'm cringed and disgusted with my identity and the way people perceive me. I would rather not exist to the outside world at all than as the repulsive creature I am now.

My self hatred borders on masochism and I purposely seek out situations where I will face failure and

disappointment and humiliation. I avoid any opportunity to have fun or make something good happen because it would undermine my martyrdom. The more I suffer the more I can reaffirm my learned helplessness and defeatist attitude and continue wallowing in self pity.

The only way I know how to get attention is by antagonizing others through extreme or absurd or

offensive statements and perpetually playing devil's advocate. When people agree with me I will just

switch my stance and provoke them some more. I have no opinions or morals or ideals of my own, I

just go with whatever will evoke the response I want. I get off on being seen as the bad one, because I have nothing positive to offer and I would rather be hated than ignored.

I am obsessed with cultivating a tough online persona in order to compensate for my

immaturity and stunted development and lack of strong father figure. When I'm by myself I listen to

old pop music and watch coming of age movies and teen shows because nostalgia is the only

emotional comfort I can find. The movies exercise my emotional range. And i feel alive after watching a good one. It helps my mind wander and go somewhere else that’s less stagnant.

I'm getting older and doing nothing to change my life. and the more i think about it, the less I'm

capable of being a normal person.Mentally I'm stuck in high school and I constantly regress back to that period as a crutch for my inability to deal with adulthood. I’m being unproductive and it feel like I‘m waiting for death. Right now, it feels a lot closer. Time to jump

Profile picture of Yes
Yes
@Yes
8 Years500+ PostsVirgo

Comments: 54 · Posts: 791 · Topics: 23
Posted by Dastardly
Posted by Yes
I'm just a loser and a nobody and a failure at life. I preach against making any kind of effort to improve my life, but in reality I'm just afraid of rejection and intimacy. I maintain this rough exterior like some sort of wannabe gangsta rapper, but ultimately I'm a pathetic virgin and my whole life revolves around getting people’s approval. I've been 'depressed' my entire life and I figure it's easier to conclude that I'm just dumb. I don't even feel pain anymore, my 'depression' is just a dull nothingness caused by my mental deficiency. If I were smarter I would've found a way out of this purgatory by now.

My ego is too big to deal with the fact that I'm not good looking so instead I devalue myself to be the complete opposite. If I can't be in the best then I will just die a virgin, if only out of spite. That uncompromising all-or-nothing attitude carries over in every other facet of my life and ultimately it just cripples me and I just don't bother with anything. In fact I actively self destruct to give myself the delusion of being in control. I would rather be nothing than admit to mediocrity.

With that comes an overwhelming need to assert my autonomy and self sufficiency, and I resist any

attempt of others trying to control or help me.

I absolutely despise the way I look from the bottom of my heart. To the point where I have almost

completely dropped out from life. I'm cringed and disgusted with my identity and the way people perceive me. I would rather not exist to the outside world at all than as the repulsive creature I am now.

My self hatred borders on masochism and I purposely seek out situations where I will face failure and

disappointment and humiliation. I avoid any opportunity to have fun or make something good happen because it would undermine my martyrdom. The more I suffer the more I can reaffirm my learned helplessness and defeatist attitude and continue wallowing in self pity.

The only way I know how to get attention is by antagonizing others through extreme or absurd or

offensive statements and perpetually playing devil's advocate. When people agree with me I will just

switch my stance and provoke them some more. I have no opinions or morals or ideals of my own, I

just go with whatever will evoke the response I want. I get off on being seen as the bad one, because I have nothing positive to offer and I would rather be hated than ignored.

I am obsessed with cultivating a tough online persona in order to compensate for my

immaturity and stunted development and lack of strong father figure. When I'm by myself I listen to

old pop music and watch coming of age movies and teen shows because nostalgia is the only

emotional comfort I can find. The movies exercise my emotional range. And i feel alive after watching a good one. It helps my mind wander and go somewhere else that’s less stagnant.

I'm getting older and doing nothing to change my life. and the more i think about it, the less I'm

capable of being a normal person.Mentally I'm stuck in high school and I constantly regress back to that period as a crutch for my inability to deal with adulthood. I’m being unproductive and it feel like I‘m waiting for death. Right now, it feels a lot closer. Time to jump





Learned helplessness. Lol, who said that first?

click to expand

I think it's a term psychology enthusiasts introduced. Someone on lookism told me I exhibit learned helplessness
Profile picture of Yes
Yes
@Yes
8 Years500+ PostsVirgo

Comments: 54 · Posts: 791 · Topics: 23
Posted by RomanPowerCusp
Posted by Yes
Posted by RomanPowerCusp
Your self deprecating exposition is a narration of self pity.

The picture you're painting is intended to disarm but you can't give off enough vulnerability on any genuine level for it to truly work.

Humility is what you should aim to achieve. Humility unlocks sympathy.

You get none from me.

Troll on ??
teach me
I can't teach you to be an INTJ. You can only be born this way.

I just enjoy seeing how people work.

I doubt you can fake humility to be honest. You have to lose something of value to experiencing the onset of humility.

click to expand


I'm an INTP it's not that far

Profile picture of Yes
Yes
@Yes
8 Years500+ PostsVirgo

Comments: 54 · Posts: 791 · Topics: 23
Posted by RomanPowerCusp
Posted by Yes
Posted by RomanPowerCusp
Posted by Yes
Posted by RomanPowerCusp
Your self deprecating exposition is a narration of self pity.

The picture you're painting is intended to disarm but you can't give off enough vulnerability on any genuine level for it to truly work.

Humility is what you should aim to achieve. Humility unlocks sympathy.

You get none from me.

Troll on ??
teach me
I can't teach you to be an INTJ. You can only be born this way.

I just enjoy seeing how people work.

I doubt you can fake humility to be honest. You have to lose something of value to experiencing the onset of humility.



I'm an INTP it's not that far


Yet what makes INTJ & INTP so different is the fact that INTJ adheres to intellectual honesty and INTP

Whereas you're willing to have changing perceptions to alleviate your stagnant mind.

I'm more apt to focus on patterns, allowing complete freedom in order to observe.

We're so different.
click to expand


Could it be that I'm a teenager and you're an adult whose brain has finished developing? MBTI isn't accurate for adolescents for this exact reason.
Profile picture of Yes
Yes
@Yes
8 Years500+ PostsVirgo

Comments: 54 · Posts: 791 · Topics: 23
Posted by RomanPowerCusp
Posted by Yes
Posted by RomanPowerCusp
Posted by Yes
Posted by RomanPowerCusp
Posted by Yes
Posted by RomanPowerCusp
Your self deprecating exposition is a narration of self pity.

The picture you're painting is intended to disarm but you can't give off enough vulnerability on any genuine level for it to truly work.

Humility is what you should aim to achieve. Humility unlocks sympathy.

You get none from me.

Troll on ??
teach me
I can't teach you to be an INTJ. You can only be born this way.

I just enjoy seeing how people work.

I doubt you can fake humility to be honest. You have to lose something of value to experiencing the onset of humility.



I'm an INTP it's not that far


Yet what makes INTJ & INTP so different is the fact that INTJ adheres to intellectual honesty and INTP

Whereas you're willing to have changing perceptions to alleviate your stagnant mind.

I'm more apt to focus on patterns, allowing complete freedom in order to observe.

We're so different.

Could it be that I'm a teenager and you're an adult whose brain has finished developing? MBTI isn't accurate for adolescents for this exact reason.



Just another diversion tactic to disarm people.

You're a young adult who is most likely taking quite a few gap years until you find yourself. Lost.

Nice try

click to expand


I'm 16 and your compulsion to overanalyze everything is causing me angst. Get over yourself. This behavior is too intense for my liking. No wonder nds ran away.