Single people (with no kids) and divorced people on dates

Do people become more desperate as they get a little older? I have noticed a trend lately that many single people are dating divorced people (with kids).

Is that what is smoking hot these days? Divorced people with kids? IDK anymore.

I think its more that's what's out there. It's rare to find someone who hasn't already been divorced with kids now a days especially the older you get.

It’s not a trend lol, it’s always happened. But now that YOU are getting older you are starting to notice it more.

Also you don’t have to be desperate to date someone with kids, or who is divorced.. they are not rejects

Posted by Effortless

Do people become more desperate as they get a little older? I have noticed a trend lately that many single people are dating divorced people (with kids).

Is that what is smoking hot these days? Divorced people with kids? IDK anymore.

how dating somebody you like is desperate?

Does somebody you liked preferred a divorcee with kids? 🙂

I would think about your own motivation to call these people desperate 🙂 what is your point exactly and what is behind this? elaborate, please

I think OP is a spoiled little biatch who doesn't know/understand the intricate hate of life and experience. These things are woven into peoples paths and are .uch more interesting than millenials who live with parents looong into adulthood and nothing to show for their years on the planet.

Posted by Ariqua

You reach a certain age where it becomes weird that someone hasn’t married or had kids.

My thoughts as well. Who should be giving who the side eye? Everybody has baggage. Ev-er-y-body.

I'm busy trying to find out which user this is, that is trolling.

Nah

Posted by Black-Mamba

I'd only do it if they didn't try to make me mommy

I Dont give a shit about your kid.

My resources my time only goes to my family

You tell em!

Angelina jolie is divorced I think with kids, anything wrong with her?

Posted by Ellygant

Everyone has baggage. Even if you date someone 20, with no relationship experience, they’ve got something.

That being said I do avoid dating people with kids. I’m kinda selfish in that aspect. Divorce I don’t mind. But every person I’ve dated that has kids, it never felt like I’d be a real part of the family and I can’t sign up for that. My best friends give me more opportunity to be involved with their family than they did. Which I understand, it’s a natural parental instinct to be protective of kids. Just like it’s natural for me to only wanna mate with someone who will share family bonds and resources with me lol.

This is what I was getting at. Why should a person without kids feel the need to get involved with divorced people who have kids? That doesn't make any sense, especially since the new relationship will always be regarded as a second class citizenship to the divorced person. Since when should a new romance supersede or come equal to your child?

Besides, divorced/kids people have to pay child support and alimony, so your finances will never be 100% united if you choose to marry that person.

I dunno, I suppose my self-respect just won't allow me to be treated like a booby prize to a failed relationship. I have also heard that Christmas Holidays and New Year's can be a total disaster since most divorced people use their children in a tug-of-war over these key moments in the children's lives.

Sounds like Jerry Springer Show stuff to me.

Posted by Pandora101

Posted by Effortless

Do people become more desperate as they get a little older? I have noticed a trend lately that many single people are dating divorced people (with kids).

Is that what is smoking hot these days? Divorced people with kids? IDK anymore.

how dating somebody you like is desperate?

Does somebody you liked preferred a divorcee with kids? 🙂

I would think about your own motivation to call these people desperate 🙂 what is your point exactly and what is behind this? elaborate, please

click to expand

It's just something I have noticed lately among a lot of people. They think it's cool to get romantically involved with divorced people with kids, but I think they are overlooking all the really bad drama and financial trouble that comes with such a decision.

Think about it like this. If you were to date someone who earns 100K a year, but he has to hand 30-35K a year of that money over to other people because of a failed relationship....

Does that sound like something you would be okay with?

I wouldn't want a divorced person's ex coming around my house at Christmas either. Is that something you people are cool with?

I just don't get it.

Carry on.

When you get to a certain age everyone has kids/1st marriage under their belt. It is what it is 🤷‍♀️

Posted by pisceanloves

Angelina jolie is divorced I think with kids, anything wrong with her?

I'm not really a fan of hers.

She is not as hot anymore, and she has two divorces in her background.

Eh, I dunno, she's just not what I would want in a marriage partner.

But, to each his own.

(shrugs)

Posted by Ellygant

Posted by Effortless

Posted by Ellygant

Everyone has baggage. Even if you date someone 20, with no relationship experience, they’ve got something.

That being said I do avoid dating people with kids. I’m kinda selfish in that aspect. Divorce I don’t mind. But every person I’ve dated that has kids, it never felt like I’d be a real part of the family and I can’t sign up for that. My best friends give me more opportunity to be involved with their family than they did. Which I understand, it’s a natural parental instinct to be protective of kids. Just like it’s natural for me to only wanna mate with someone who will share family bonds and resources with me lol.

This is what I was getting at. Why should a person without kids feel the need to get involved with divorced people who have kids? That doesn't make any sense, especially since the new relationship will always be regarded as a second class citizenship to the divorced person. Since when should a new romance supersede or come equal to your child?

Besides, divorced/kids people have to pay child support and alimony, so your finances will never be 100% united if you choose to marry that person.

I dunno, I suppose my self-respect just won't allow me to be treated like a booby prize to a failed relationship. I have also heard that Christmas Holidays and New Year's can be a total disaster since most divorced people use their children in a tug-of-war over these key moments in the children's lives.

Sounds like Jerry Springer Show stuff to me.

Tbh, that sounds a bit harsh to me.

Yes, my experiences dating people with kids had sucked. But mine were only twice. Yeah I was regarded as the third priority always, but none of those were committed or serious relationships either. And yeah I know a lot of families where step parents are pitted as a type of outcast. But that’s not every single one.

I know a select handful of blended families that work beautifully. Most are cause the dads gave up parental rights and the step dads adopted the kids and they’re a totally equal family. Two had just super amicable divorces and genuinely enjoy and respect their new families and everyone is included.

Just cause it’s not for me, doesn’t mean I think it’s impossible. It’s just a level of work I’m personally not willing to commit to, same could be said for anyone considering dating a person who is disabled, has a mental illness, crazy in laws, comes from a conflicting culture etc. Not every circumstance is palatable to everyone but that doesn’t make it invalid.

click to expand

Yea, but that's why you have to date people for a while before getting into an engagement or marriage. I meet people all the time who are engaged to be married, and they only dated for like a year. I am like, that's not enough time together to really know who you are dealing with.

I hear you about the crazy in-laws. That can be a deal-breaker for me too, since I cannot stand the idea of being married to a person who has a crazy family. Hell no on that.

My point is that relationships already take the same amount of pressure and responsibility as having a full-time job. You have to answer to this person, and your actions shape the probability of the relationship surviving. But to have additional people in the relationship that shape your bond with the other person (ex-wife/husband, kids, divorced person's ex, etc)....

Just not my cup of tea.

Tell me, what were some of the things that made you say, "oh hell no" to the two divorced guys with the kids?

I am curious, not trying to make a scene or anything.

I'm 28 with no kids, and if anything I'm less desperate then I use to be as time goes on.

Its like wanting a tattoo at age 16. Then before you know it you're 24, and the idea of a tattoo is dumb. Just a bunch of money and time spent into something illusionary with no long term gain in the long run.

Most people who get tattoos at a really young age tend to regret them about 10-20 years later.

Those who still maintain that it was the right decision are permanently immature, deluded, or both.

Posted by Ellygant

Posted by Effortless

Posted by Ellygant

Posted by Effortless

Posted by Ellygant

Everyone has baggage. Even if you date someone 20, with no relationship experience, they’ve got something.

That being said I do avoid dating people with kids. I’m kinda selfish in that aspect. Divorce I don’t mind. But every person I’ve dated that has kids, it never felt like I’d be a real part of the family and I can’t sign up for that. My best friends give me more opportunity to be involved with their family than they did. Which I understand, it’s a natural parental instinct to be protective of kids. Just like it’s natural for me to only wanna mate with someone who will share family bonds and resources with me lol.

This is what I was getting at. Why should a person without kids feel the need to get involved with divorced people who have kids? That doesn't make any sense, especially since the new relationship will always be regarded as a second class citizenship to the divorced person. Since when should a new romance supersede or come equal to your child?

Besides, divorced/kids people have to pay child support and alimony, so your finances will never be 100% united if you choose to marry that person.

I dunno, I suppose my self-respect just won't allow me to be treated like a booby prize to a failed relationship. I have also heard that Christmas Holidays and New Year's can be a total disaster since most divorced people use their children in a tug-of-war over these key moments in the children's lives.

Sounds like Jerry Springer Show stuff to me.

Tbh, that sounds a bit harsh to me.

Yes, my experiences dating people with kids had sucked. But mine were only twice. Yeah I was regarded as the third priority always, but none of those were committed or serious relationships either. And yeah I know a lot of families where step parents are pitted as a type of outcast. But that’s not every single one.

I know a select handful of blended families that work beautifully. Most are cause the dads gave up parental rights and the step dads adopted the kids and they’re a totally equal family. Two had just super amicable divorces and genuinely enjoy and respect their new families and everyone is included.

Just cause it’s not for me, doesn’t mean I think it’s impossible. It’s just a level of work I’m personally not willing to commit to, same could be said for anyone considering dating a person who is disabled, has a mental illness, crazy in laws, comes from a conflicting culture etc. Not every circumstance is palatable to everyone but that doesn’t make it invalid.

Yea, but that's why you have to date people for a while before getting into an engagement or marriage. I meet people all the time who are engaged to be married, and they only dated for like a year. I am like, that's not enough time together to really know who you are dealing with.

I hear you about the crazy in-laws. That can be a deal-breaker for me too, since I cannot stand the idea of being married to a person who has a crazy family. Hell no on that.

My point is that relationships already take the same amount of pressure and responsibility as having a full-time job. You have to answer to this person, and your actions shape the probability of the relationship surviving. But to have additional people in the relationship that shape your bond with the other person (ex-wife/husband, kids, divorced person's ex, etc)....

Just not my cup of tea.

Tell me, what were some of the things that made you say, "oh hell no" to the two divorced guys with the kids?

I am curious, not trying to make a scene or anything.

One guy was super obsessed with me. Messaged and called me multiple times a day every day for a couple of weeks. Then he literally left me in the middle of a date and ghosted me for a week at that date. He later came back and said I shouldn’t be mad because his kid had a fever the first two days of the week he went ghost and I was irrational for expecting him to ‘abandon his sick child and pressure him’ lmao. I reminded I texted him asking if he was ok, not proposing we elope, and that a fever the first two days didn’t explain the other five. We stopped talking after that tho he tried to apologize a few times after that’s I just ignored him. Anyone who uses their kid as a scapegoat for their own shitty behavior is an idiot. He wasn’t divorced, never married the mom. Though I heard a year later they got back together.

The other was a girl I dated for like a week. She wanted me to meet her kid after a week, which freaked me out cause I didn’t know her enough and didn’t want to be responsible for impacting her kid. She also never married but the dad was never around, he was in another state, never called, never sent money.

click to expand

Yea, sounds like really bad situations that you clearly learned from.

Like you, I just don't have time or interest in that kind of bad drama.

It was really messed up that he ghosted you, and then blamed the kid's fever on why he would suddenly drop you like that.

However, one must realize that he/she is a second class citizen when entering into a relationship with divorced people and their kids / ex-husbands/wives.

Then there is the fun drama that comes with the jealousy of the ex finding a new love interest that is "better" than the ex ever was.

Hell no on that shit.

Posted by JanMayMarry

So...divorced people with kids are not allowed to date anymore—

Meanie!

Psssshhtttt, Dr. Laura Schlesinger says otherwise!

Have you read her work or heard her statements about divorced/kids people messing around with singles?

Posted by pisceanloves

Angelina jolie is divorced I think with kids, anything wrong with her?

Yeah like 6 lol

Posted by Arachnophobia

Who cares what other people are doing.

Everybody!

Posted by Impulsv

No me being older doesn’t make me settle

Why because I don’t fear singledom

If you find single 45...kind of strange but very possible...in a movies...