Would you forgive, or seek vengeance?

This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by nikkistar on Monday, July 2, 2018 and has 83 replies.

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Profile picture of nikkistar
@nikkistar
9 Years10,000+ Posts

For those of you who don't know. My boyfriend lost his father and sister in law, and his brother was injured severely last Saturday. The woman who hit them is a 61 year old grandmother that was texting and driving. Her negligence, caused her to drift over into oncoming traffic. She killed a father, and a 25 yr old newly wed wife.

We are processing as best as we can. But I am struggling with not wanting blood. I have people telling me that I should just forgive her, that she ruined her life. Asking me to have sympathy for her because "grandma". And I am sitting here, thinking these idiots and their bleeding hearts thinking of this "grandma" and not the family of the two people she killed.

I just want to say, fuck her, I hope she goes to prison. I don't care if she didn't mean to. I don't care about being sympathetic to her stupid ass. And I sure as hell am tired of all these people telling me to "forgive".

UPDATE

So, it's been exactly a month since this all happened. I have bouts of anger still. At first, I believed that maybe she did feel bad, but as time passes, and the more information that comes to light, the more I believe she is an older, rich, entitled, asshole. She hit him with so much force, that the front end of his bike, fused with the front end of her SUV. The back half of his bike exploded. From his chest down, it looked like he stepped on a land mine, is what the investigator told us. We didn't see that, thank god. His face was left relatively undamaged.

At this point, the investigation is still not concluded, because the officer himself, has made it his mission to nail her to the wall. After several interviews with this women, her story has changed 3 times. First she was texting on her phone, then she was reaching behind her to do something with her grandchild in the car, then she "doesn't remember". She has acknowledged to the investigator, that she was fully aware of being on the wrong lane, but that she felt justified in being in it. Because "what she was dealing with was more important". She hasn't shown any remorse for what happened, the most was "Sorry they died, but I was obviously dealing something really important, but I can't remember". So the investigator, is now getting warrants for all of her social media as well.

I have found her facebook, and she made everything private on it, for obvious reasons. But one thing that still remains public, is her changing her banner image (which coincidentally is now her profile picture as well), and she changed everything on June 23, 2018 at 9:20 pm. The very same night the accident happened, and she was hospitalized for "shock".

To add insult to injury, she ignorantly has moved all of her assets away from her name. She is additionally committing fraud by doing so. Not a single vehicle outside of the one she was driving in the accident, bank account, or anything is under her name anymore. Funnily enough, she filed several UCC Filings with the state to apply for a significant loan to obtain commercial farming equipment, not too long ago. But suddenly, she has no assets anymore. Our attorney is now looking into exactly when everything was moved from her name, but suspects it was recent, since even the County Assessor's doesn't have the hard copies yet, but is able to locate the deed filed years ago that lists her property under both her spouse's and her name. But it only lists him now. So she has committed yet, another crime, trying to mitigate monetary damage to herself.

At this point, I don't think she really cares she killed 2 people. And I am struggling to make sense of the whole thing.

Profile picture of LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

May 5th I was hit by a driver running the red. I was lucky I walked away with minimal injuries and my dog pulled through as well.

Dude who hit me is a 67 year old man who cited not being able to see the red light as to why he hit me.

I hired an attorney same day and am going after pain and suffering, loss of wages, property damage etc.

Age doesn’t give you a get out of jail free card.

Profile picture of nikkistar
@nikkistar
9 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by LadyNeptune

May 5th I was hit by a driver running the red. I was lucky I walked away with minimal injuries and my dog pulled through as well.

Dude who hit me is a 67 year old man who cited not being able to see the red light as to why he hit me.

I hired an attorney same day and am going after pain and suffering, loss of wages, property damage etc.

Age doesn’t give you a get out of jail free card.

I'd like to see her destitute.

Profile picture of LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by LadyNeptune

May 5th I was hit by a driver running the red. I was lucky I walked away with minimal injuries and my dog pulled through as well.

Dude who hit me is a 67 year old man who cited not being able to see the red light as to why he hit me.

I hired an attorney same day and am going after pain and suffering, loss of wages, property damage etc.

Age doesn’t give you a get out of jail free card.

I'd like to see her destitute.

click to expand

Money isn’t gonna bring back his wife or father. But it’ll help pay for the funerals. God that’s depressing.

So unfair.

Take this as far as it can go in the courts. Find an attorney whose hungry. She destroyed so many lives with her negligence.

Profile picture of lisabethur8
@lisabethur8
14 Years50,000+ Posts

tteenagers and drunk drivers also kill...

but for older people, the law is not tough enough for when someone gets over the age of 60 and see if they still are able to drive, they might have dementia, poor hearin, seeing, lack of motor skills...so many things break down.

and i have seen the law take away old folk's driver's license when they were not supposed to be driving in their 80s...

i would be angry as hell... but i would take it out more on the people who make the laws/ or DMV ... or whoever is in charge of that ; they have laws where you can't drink and drive and people kill loved ones daily with drunk driving..

does it help, i think yes, with the tough laws...maybe this filters out 80%

drunk drivers go to prison all the time, i know this...cause my ex is always going back.

he is lucky he never killed anyone, just damaged property. he is so drunk that for some reason being drunk protects your body from getting killed. Smh.

Profile picture of Fleshpot
@Fleshpot
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Very sorry to hear.

I wouldn't be sympathetic towards her either. The fact that she's older isn't even relevant IMO, considering negligence was the cause of the accident, not age.

Profile picture of justagirl
@justagirl
12 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by WarAngel1

If you don't intend to forgive what are you planning on doing that the law isn't already?

I don't plan on shit. I am just tired of these fuckers telling me "should let her off lightly she ruined her life already" fuckers.

click to expand

It might be that folks don't know what to say.

Personally, you do not have to forgive her, you might eventually but there is nothing that says you have to. She was doing something that she shouldn't have been doing, if she had been drunk, would that have changed how you feel? Anger is part of the grieving process. You will all have ups and downs , moments of sadness, numbness, anger, sorrow,, etc.. it will come in waves and at different times.

Just know there is nothing wrong for being angry and again you do not have to feel pity, which it sounds like that might be what others are suggesting. Empathy might come later down the road, but it may not and there is nothing wrong with that.

Profile picture of Andalusia
@Andalusia
12 Years5,000+ Posts

If she killed two people, she's getting charged with vehicular homicide (or the equivalent) regardless. The state pursues and prosecutes that.

I don't know if that knowledge helps or not.

I'm sorry this happened to you and yours though 😢

Profile picture of Endless
@Endless
8 Years1,000+ Posts

I lost a friend during high school, it changed my entire youth.

but I learn that I would never let myself seek vengeance only seek justice, the first will never be satisfied it will fill your heart with darkness.

people that doesn't know shit tell you to "forgive" but you don't have to, you will get nothing from such thing, nothing, what people need is closure, to "move on" and justice is actually a good point to start.

but is only that, closure, to learn to continue, one day at a time.

Profile picture of CancerOnTheCusp
@CancerOnTheCusp
12 Years5,000+ Posts

Vengeance, no.

But, justice requires the full extent of the law. Age isn't a factor.

May she have a cell, with one of her chairs from home, one hobby she can keep, and remain the rest of her days without parole, where when she looks up, she only sees the pictures of those whose lives she took.

I am sincerely sorry for your loss.

Profile picture of nikkistar
@nikkistar
9 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by Andalusia

If she killed two people, she's getting charged with vehicular homicide (or the equivalent) regardless. The state pursues and prosecutes that.

I don't know if that knowledge helps or not.

I'm sorry this happened to you and yours though 😢

More like people are saying she should get a "light sentence" and just probation.

She had her 7 yr old grandson with her and was texting. I want her in jail.

Profile picture of Andalusia
@Andalusia
12 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Andalusia

If she killed two people, she's getting charged with vehicular homicide (or the equivalent) regardless. The state pursues and prosecutes that.

I don't know if that knowledge helps or not.

I'm sorry this happened to you and yours though 😢

More like people are saying she should get a "light sentence" and just probation.

She had her 7 yr old grandson with her and was texting. I want her in jail.

click to expand

Fuck that noise.

If Martha Stewart had to go to jail for insider trading, someone that takes multiples lives should DEFINITELY have to.

Profile picture of Ram416
@Ram416
10 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Andalusia

If she killed two people, she's getting charged with vehicular homicide (or the equivalent) regardless. The state pursues and prosecutes that.

I don't know if that knowledge helps or not.

I'm sorry this happened to you and yours though 😢

More like people are saying she should get a "light sentence" and just probation.

She had her 7 yr old grandson with her and was texting. I want her in jail.

click to expand

Hopefully she doesn't get the light sentence she doesn't deserve.

She ended the lives of 2 people and ruined the future of possible happiness for a 3rd through wilful negligence + endangering the life of her grandson.

I hope they throw the book at her.

Profile picture of Ram416
@Ram416
10 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Ram416

Posted by Arielle83

Im sorry.

But the guilt she feels is probably likely to end her life anyways.

You just have to wait.

Agreed.

The best revenge is when you do nothing and they self-destruct anyway.

This texting bs is ridiculous.

I’m honking all down the freeway at every cunt I see looking down.

My Virgo sis once threw her boyfriend’s (at the time) mobile out the car window when he texted whilst driving. Lolz.

click to expand

I can picture her doing that lol.

Profile picture of Ram416
@Ram416
10 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Ram416

Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Ram416

Posted by Arielle83

Im sorry.

But the guilt she feels is probably likely to end her life anyways.

You just have to wait.

Agreed.

The best revenge is when you do nothing and they self-destruct anyway.

This texting bs is ridiculous.

I’m honking all down the freeway at every cunt I see looking down.

My Virgo sis once threw her boyfriend’s (at the time) mobile out the car window when he texted whilst driving. Lolz.

I can picture her doing that lol.

Isn’t honking illegal now?

I honk in the government car a lot

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Only if it's unnecessary and done out of mischief.

I think honking at people who text while driving is absolutely necessary.

Profile picture of CopperDove
@CopperDove
11 Years5,000+ Posts

Prosecution, with no leniency because of her age, or because she's a grandmother is what I would be looking at -- it makes no sense to me that anyone would say those are reasons to be soft. I have an 87 year old friend who is a grandmother and she can still drive and would NEVER text and drive.

I'm very very sorry for your loss.

Profile picture of six4six
@six4six
8 Years

First things first. I’m really sorry for your loss.

I’m not sure what you mean by seek revenge. When someone loses their life and there is talk about seeking revenge I immediately think burying someone alive with enough oxygen for an hour of life so they have enough time to think about how bad they fucked up and realize the terror they’re in. I wouldn’t recommend that.

If that’s not what you’re thinking, yes I would pursue the full force of the law on this woman and make sure she never drives again, she pays for the funerals, she spends the rest of her life in jail. Psychologically, yes, she’s probably going through torture but that doesn’t mean you should easy on her “because her guilt is enough” she killed your family and that’s that. Point blank period you’re fully justified (as long as it’s legal and moral) good luck and I wish you and your boyfriend and all of your family peace.

Profile picture of Echo
@Echo
8 Years1,000+ Posts

I am greatly sorry for your boyfriend's loss Nikki. 😢

You have the right to express these emotions and it's understandable. I would have feel the same way and I wouldn't be able to let an elder slide with this case.

The "grandma" already knew texting while driving was one of the main causes of accidents but they still do it anyway. Smfh.

She was able to survive, but your boyfriend's family never asked for this. And these are facts that should be used against the people who are telling you to let it go.

Profile picture of nikkistar
@nikkistar
9 Years10,000+ Posts

To clarify, I don't want to kill her or do anything illegal.

But I want the book thrown at her, and to sue her for every single cent in her bank account. I want her to spend her days in an 8 by 8 cell, with no sunlight.

I'm just sick of everyone telling me she should get leniency because shes a grandma "and she didnt mean it". Telling me that we should just "let it go". That her guilt is enough punishment.

No, I can't do that. She gets to live, and i had to watch my family (regardless of marriage, I was listed in his obituary) as they surrounded a woman I consider a mom, try to catch her.

He died 2 fucking days before their 36th wedding anniversary. They've been together for 42 years. I'm watching my family break apart at the seems.

No fuck off with mercy. I dont have it in me.

Profile picture of LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by LadyNeptune

Was this in California? If not was it in a state with no texting and driving laws?

Iowa

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Ok Iowa has had the no texting and driving law for 7 years or so. Just looked it up.

Yeah get an attorney and take this law breaker to court. She was fully to blame for the accident by swerving into incoming traffic.

Sometimes seeking vengeance goes hand in hand with seeking justice.

Profile picture of LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by C69

she was texting and driving which is not allowed, at least in my country

who the fuck cares about her age?

can someone be too old to understand the obvious.....

she deserves jail

Exactly. If she had a stroke and swerved during and the car accident ensued that be one thing...

She chose to text and drive. She chose to take that risk. So what if she’s 61?! Her actions just made sure this 24 year old woman with so much potential in front of her NEVER makes it to 61.

She should be charged with involuntary manslaughter.

Profile picture of LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by OneKnight

Will that bring your boyfriends's family back? Will that remove the scares on your boyfriend's soul, mind, and heart?

I think you can answer the rest yourself.

Seeking justice is not about reversing time. She’s well aware they aren’t coming back. That’s not in question here...

Profile picture of LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

The best thing is to hire an attorney. Both to go after the driver and possibly the state to change the law. Make it more strict, no handheld whatsoever. They could tell you what your options are.

More importantly they will take care of everything so you can focus on getting his brother on the path of recovery and keeping the family together during this difficult period.

Much love 💕

Profile picture of nikkistar
@nikkistar
9 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by OneKnight

Will that bring your boyfriends's family back? Will that remove the scares on your boyfriend's soul, mind, and heart?

I think you can answer the rest yourself.

Nothing can bring them back.

But I sure as hell would feel better knowing she doesn't get to enjoy life, just like they don't.

Profile picture of nikkistar
@nikkistar
9 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by OneKnight

The boyfriend is a Cancer right? How do you know he won't regret putting someone in jail and think about that for the rest of his life. I think from now on, everything should be about him, but what do I know.

Revenges never work. They come back.

Yea. And he's pissed off too because he has to watch his brother have survivor's guilt.

Profile picture of justagirl
@justagirl
12 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by nikkistar

To clarify, I don't want to kill her or do anything illegal.

But I want the book thrown at her, and to sue her for every single cent in her bank account. I want her to spend her days in an 8 by 8 cell, with no sunlight.

I'm just sick of everyone telling me she should get leniency because shes a grandma "and she didnt mean it". Telling me that we should just "let it go". That her guilt is enough punishment.

No, I can't do that. She gets to live, and i had to watch my family (regardless of marriage, I was listed in his obituary) as they surrounded a woman I consider a mom, try to catch her.

He died 2 fucking days before their 36th wedding anniversary. They've been together for 42 years. I'm watching my family break apart at the seems.

No fuck off with mercy. I dont have it in me.

Wish I was there to give you a big hug. I know it doesn't feel like it will get better but it will. You are strong and I know you are doing everything to be strong for them but just please take care of you too during all of this.

I was serious with my suggestion of a punching bag it helps get the anger out. Or a pillow works too.

Profile picture of nikkistar
@nikkistar
9 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by Mad-Hatter

Posted by nikkistar

To clarify, I don't want to kill her or do anything illegal.

But I want the book thrown at her, and to sue her for every single cent in her bank account. I want her to spend her days in an 8 by 8 cell, with no sunlight.

I'm just sick of everyone telling me she should get leniency because shes a grandma "and she didnt mean it". Telling me that we should just "let it go". That her guilt is enough punishment.

No, I can't do that. She gets to live, and i had to watch my family (regardless of marriage, I was listed in his obituary) as they surrounded a woman I consider a mom, try to catch her.

He died 2 fucking days before their 36th wedding anniversary. They've been together for 42 years. I'm watching my family break apart at the seems.

No fuck off with mercy. I dont have it in me.

Where is she now? Are they holding her or has she been released?

click to expand

They took her to a damn hospital for observation overnight with minor injuries. She was released the next day and went home to her fucking commercial farm. Claiming shock and she can't remember anything.

Her shit friends posting on the sheriff's fb post about the accident, saying stupid shit like "don't judge her, there's two sides of the story".

Profile picture of nikkistar
@nikkistar
9 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by Mad-Hatter

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Mad-Hatter

Posted by nikkistar

To clarify, I don't want to kill her or do anything illegal.

But I want the book thrown at her, and to sue her for every single cent in her bank account. I want her to spend her days in an 8 by 8 cell, with no sunlight.

I'm just sick of everyone telling me she should get leniency because shes a grandma "and she didnt mean it". Telling me that we should just "let it go". That her guilt is enough punishment.

No, I can't do that. She gets to live, and i had to watch my family (regardless of marriage, I was listed in his obituary) as they surrounded a woman I consider a mom, try to catch her.

He died 2 fucking days before their 36th wedding anniversary. They've been together for 42 years. I'm watching my family break apart at the seems.

No fuck off with mercy. I dont have it in me.

Where is she now? Are they holding her or has she been released?

They took her to a damn hospital for observation overnight with minor injuries. She was released the next day and went home to her fucking commercial farm. Claiming shock and she can't remember anything.

Her shit friends posting on the sheriff's fb post about the accident, saying stupid shit like "don't judge her, there's two sides of the story".

Has the prosecutor spoke to your family yet?

click to expand

No. Iowa law required autopsies on any involved in a motorcycle accidents. They just performed the autopsy on Thursday of last week. They are finalizing the investigation by looking over the SUV to make sure there were no mechanical issues with it. But her cellphone usage and everything was already looked at and confirmed. The SUV likely had no issues since it was a 2017 Buick Encore.

Profile picture of nikkistar
@nikkistar
9 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by Mad-Hatter

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Mad-Hatter

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Mad-Hatter

Posted by nikkistar

To clarify, I don't want to kill her or do anything illegal.

But I want the book thrown at her, and to sue her for every single cent in her bank account. I want her to spend her days in an 8 by 8 cell, with no sunlight.

I'm just sick of everyone telling me she should get leniency because shes a grandma "and she didnt mean it". Telling me that we should just "let it go". That her guilt is enough punishment.

No, I can't do that. She gets to live, and i had to watch my family (regardless of marriage, I was listed in his obituary) as they surrounded a woman I consider a mom, try to catch her.

He died 2 fucking days before their 36th wedding anniversary. They've been together for 42 years. I'm watching my family break apart at the seems.

No fuck off with mercy. I dont have it in me.

Where is she now? Are they holding her or has she been released?

They took her to a damn hospital for observation overnight with minor injuries. She was released the next day and went home to her fucking commercial farm. Claiming shock and she can't remember anything.

Her shit friends posting on the sheriff's fb post about the accident, saying stupid shit like "don't judge her, there's two sides of the story".

Has the prosecutor spoke to your family yet?

No. Iowa law required autopsies on any involved in a motorcycle accidents. They just performed the autopsy on Thursday of last week. They are finalizing the investigation by looking over the SUV to make sure there were no mechanical issues with it. But her cellphone usage and everything was already looked at and confirmed. The SUV likely had no issues since it was a 2017 Buick Encore.

They were on a bike?

click to expand

Two bikes, staggered. Both hit.

Double yellow lines.

Profile picture of nikkistar
@nikkistar
9 Years10,000+ Posts

To clarify about the accident.

She crossed over double yellow lines on a two lane roadway. As she crested the top of a blind hill, she impacted both bikes head on going 60 mph. All 3 were hit so hard, their helmets came off.

Profile picture of nikkistar
@nikkistar
9 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by Mad-Hatter

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Mad-Hatter

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Mad-Hatter

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Mad-Hatter

Posted by nikkistar

To clarify, I don't want to kill her or do anything illegal.

But I want the book thrown at her, and to sue her for every single cent in her bank account. I want her to spend her days in an 8 by 8 cell, with no sunlight.

I'm just sick of everyone telling me she should get leniency because shes a grandma "and she didnt mean it". Telling me that we should just "let it go". That her guilt is enough punishment.

No, I can't do that. She gets to live, and i had to watch my family (regardless of marriage, I was listed in his obituary) as they surrounded a woman I consider a mom, try to catch her.

He died 2 fucking days before their 36th wedding anniversary. They've been together for 42 years. I'm watching my family break apart at the seems.

No fuck off with mercy. I dont have it in me.

Where is she now? Are they holding her or has she been released?

They took her to a damn hospital for observation overnight with minor injuries. She was released the next day and went home to her fucking commercial farm. Claiming shock and she can't remember anything.

Her shit friends posting on the sheriff's fb post about the accident, saying stupid shit like "don't judge her, there's two sides of the story".

Has the prosecutor spoke to your family yet?

No. Iowa law required autopsies on any involved in a motorcycle accidents. They just performed the autopsy on Thursday of last week. They are finalizing the investigation by looking over the SUV to make sure there were no mechanical issues with it. But her cellphone usage and everything was already looked at and confirmed. The SUV likely had no issues since it was a 2017 Buick Encore.

They were on a bike?

Two bikes, staggered. Both hit.

Double yellow lines.

Jeez.. I'm so sorry.

I would go to places like the VFW or biker clubs around the area and post fliers. Maybe tell them the story. Most of those guys will help any way they can. Many are pillars of the community and have influence. 2 of the biggest things bikers hate happened, I'd be willing to bet they would love to help. Rather it be a poker ride to help with funeral costs or whatever they can. Bikers are brothers

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They are having a benefit ride later in the month. He served in the marines for 12 years and is having taps done tomorrow. There were probably over 1000 people that came to the wake today. Many flew in all over the US. He was loved.

The money really isn't a problem. I just want her sued and have nothing.

Profile picture of nikkistar
@nikkistar
9 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by Mad-Hatter

Posted by nikkistar

To clarify about the accident.

She crossed over double yellow lines on a two lane roadway. As she crested the top of a blind hill, she impacted both bikes head on going 60 mph. All 3 were hit so hard, their helmets came off.

Will the damage affect the way they get buried?

click to expand

Damage to dad was neck down.

The sister donated her organs and saved 7 people. She will be closed casket due to the damage her brain incurred and subsequent surgeries she had trying to save her. She survived until last Tuesday.

Profile picture of nikkistar
@nikkistar
9 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Mad-Hatter

Posted by nikkistar

To clarify, I don't want to kill her or do anything illegal.

But I want the book thrown at her, and to sue her for every single cent in her bank account. I want her to spend her days in an 8 by 8 cell, with no sunlight.

I'm just sick of everyone telling me she should get leniency because shes a grandma "and she didnt mean it". Telling me that we should just "let it go". That her guilt is enough punishment.

No, I can't do that. She gets to live, and i had to watch my family (regardless of marriage, I was listed in his obituary) as they surrounded a woman I consider a mom, try to catch her.

He died 2 fucking days before their 36th wedding anniversary. They've been together for 42 years. I'm watching my family break apart at the seems.

No fuck off with mercy. I dont have it in me.

Where is she now? Are they holding her or has she been released?

They took her to a damn hospital for observation overnight with minor injuries. She was released the next day and went home to her fucking commercial farm. Claiming shock and she can't remember anything.

Her shit friends posting on the sheriff's fb post about the accident, saying stupid shit like "don't judge her, there's two sides of the story".

Image Not Found

What story could the grandma possibly have to make what she did understandable?!

I get that her friends want to support her but the way they’re doing it is bullshit and is making things worse.

Seeing that would make my blood boil.

click to expand

The news released the names of the victims too.

I would think if she was remorseful in the least, she would have tried to contact us to apologize or wish condolences at the least. And even if she couldn't, find a proxy that could relay it.

Nope. Nothing.

Profile picture of Ram416
@Ram416
10 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by OneKnight

Posted by Ram416

Posted by OneKnight

Will that bring your boyfriends's family back? Will that remove the scares on your boyfriend's soul, mind, and heart?

I think you can answer the rest yourself.

No of course not. But she CAN prevent a precedent from being set.

I disagree. Who are we to judge. Most people drive and text. Brutal truth.

My point was missed in all this. All I wanted to say was: be careful when you judge and revenge, especially when things are so fresh, emotions running high, and raw. It's known for people to actually want to forgive the person that hurt your family.

Anyway, I hope he and both of you find your peace eventually.

click to expand

Did you really understand what I was saying at all?

I'm not talking about about passing judgement on anyone. I'm talking about precedents that may be set for future cases.

If this lady were to be let off with a light sentence, this case will go down in the books, citing age as a major factor in gauging the level of culpability of the defendant. When age was clearly not the reason for this accident.

Yes most people may drive and text but I seriously doubt most people kill 2 people and seriously injure a 3rd at 1 go (unless you have stats to prove otherwise - I'll wait).

And let's not forget she had a minor under her care at the time.

Nikki and her beau can stop that precedent from setting so at the very least no one else can use it as a loophole to escape answering for their actions to the fullest extent of the law.

Profile picture of firebunny
@firebunny
14 Years10,000+ Posts

That's really hard to forgive but vengeance? If you do this, it could bring you more headaches to come.

Forgiveness is a process. You don't forgive people halfheartedly... It takes time, at times, a really really long time. Do not pressure yourself into forgiving her.

But just the same, vengeance should not be an option.

Have you filed a case already?

Profile picture of MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

What a fucking irresponsible idiot for texting whilst driving and having a child in the car

Stupid woman....how dare she? 😡

👎🏻👎🏻😥😪

(((Nikki))), do what you need to do, I am so sorry for you and your man and his family

💙

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@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by xoxflute

@OneKnight

"Most people drive and text. Brutal truth. "

---> It's exactly why people like that woman needs to feel the full weight of the law, as apparently current consequences are not sufficient to deter people from texting while driving, imo.

Agreed xoxflute

...and most people do not text and drive, unless they have a brain cell or two missing

Morons 😡

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@firebunny
14 Years10,000+ Posts

I don't know how it is in your state but, here in the Philippines, reckless imprudence resulting in death and physical injuries is a crime. That means, you can let the prosecutor do all the work for you, without batting an eyelash.

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@firebunny
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by Arkansassy

Posted by firebunny

I don't know how it is in your state but, here in the Philippines, reckless imprudence resulting in death and physical injuries is a crime. That means, you can let the prosecutor do all the work for you, without batting an eyelash.

Courts in the US are not the same as the Philippines

click to expand

I know, but many of our rules and laws are similar to those in the US but, as I said, I don't know how it is in nikkistar's state.

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@Jules-ll
9 Years1,000+ Posts

I'm so sorry for you and your family's loss @nikkistar. There are no words or actions that can change that...The anger you're feeling now about the situation will subside, it's part of the grieving process. The pain will too, but not nearly as quickly and it never will be totally gone. It will move to another part of your brain and heart and become a little more tolerable in time...

Let the legal process handle this, and use your grief to memorialize their lives in a positive way that might help others. It will heal you more than any vengence ever could.

Sending hugs and healing thoughts of comfort to you.

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