Would you tell her parents (Page 5)

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enfant_terrible
@enfant_terrible
17 Years10,000+ PostsLeo

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Posted by mzmee
Posted by enfant_terrible
"...criteria for pedophilia extend the cut-off point for prepubescence to age 13.[1] A person who is diagnosed with pedophilia must be at least 16 years old, but adolescents must be at least five years older than the prepubescent child for the attraction to be diagnosed as pedophilia."

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedophilia





But sure let's all have our own definition..


If she's not grown, she's a child. Period.

click to expand

I am not familiar with the legal/biological definition of "grown" in this context. I am however familiar with the term "subjective".

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aquapiscescusp
@aquapiscescusp
14 Years10,000+ Posts

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Posted by tiziani
All I'm going to say is if you're going to get involved, make sure you are involved the whole way and you're around to handle the consequences of your own actions.

Don't do it anonymously, nor get in contact with them behind her back.

Going that route could drive an even bigger wedge between her, her parents and family. Hell, could even drive her deeper into the arms of the 30 year old you say is up to no good. So don't just mess with someone's life irresponsibly.

For that reason, I wouldn't tell the parents. If it were as shady as you say and I really felt to get involved, I'd speak with the 16 year old directly first.
Good points you bring up that should be considered... Thank you for a thoughtful response 🙂
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aquapiscescusp
@aquapiscescusp
14 Years10,000+ Posts

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Posted by tiziani
Posted by aquapiscescusp
tiz, would you want to know as a parent? Curious
Yeah, I would. But that doesn't mean I would tell parents.

I was actually on the outside of vaguely similar situation recently where my neighbour found out his teenage son had lied and hidden something major over the summer. And it wasn't what happened that hurt the father the most. It was the fact he found out his son felt like it was better to hide such a painful thing from his own parent.

Finding out indirectly from someone else can do damage.
click to expand

It's a circular dilemma lol
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MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
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Posted by mzmee
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by mzmee
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by mzmee
I don't care what the age of consent is, no 16 year old CHILD of mine will be hooking up with a pedophile. And if I see someone's CHILD with a pedophile, I'm screaming it from the mountain tops.

What grown ass, 30 year old man is cool with sexing a baby?
Adults still not familiar with the definition pedophile i see. It's a dangerous word to just throw around like that


pedophile

noun pe·do·phile \ˈpe-də-ˌfī(-ə)l, ˈpē-\

Definition of pedophile for English Language Learners

: a person who has a sexual interest in children

16— A child. Nope. Not arguing this.


16 is not a child, but a teenager ffs. Get off it. I wonder what is wrong with people with such a skewed perception in these matters. Moral panic at its finest




If she aint grown she's a child.

click to expand

The body can take up to the age of 18+ to mature...i have seen our son from the age of 15 to now shoot up in size....

Also the brain can take up to well in the 20s to mature to its' full capacity





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MyStarsShine
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Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by mzmee
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by mzmee
I don't care what the age of consent is, no 16 year old CHILD of mine will be hooking up with a pedophile. And if I see someone's CHILD with a pedophile, I'm screaming it from the mountain tops.

What grown ass, 30 year old man is cool with sexing a baby?
Adults still not familiar with the definition pedophile i see. It's a dangerous word to just throw around like that


pedophile

noun pe·do·phile \ˈpe-də-ˌfī(-ə)l, ˈpē-\

Definition of pedophile for English Language Learners

: a person who has a sexual interest in children

16— A child. Nope. Not arguing this.


16 is not a child, but a teenager ffs. Get off it. I wonder what is wrong with people with such a skewed perception in these matters. Moral panic at its finest



click to expand

Nothing wrong, it is called responsible and caring parenting.....you don't have a daughter, if i am not mistaken? If you did, i wonder how you would feel if you found out from someone else that she was having sex with a guy old enough to be her dad?

Think about it....

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hera
@hera
11 Years

Comments: 1 · Posts: 443 · Topics: 3
I would talk to her.. 16year old is no child.. she might not know everything.. thats for sure.. but she is not stupid.. talk to her in a calm manner.. try to understand why is she atracted to him and ask her if she understands where this could lead .. ask her why is she hidding this from her parents..

I think understanding why is this hidden can answer a lot...
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MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
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Posted by Seraphlight
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by Seraphlight
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by Seraphlight



She said she had the experience when she was 16 and referred to herself as a *minor* ...


He was charged with raping a 15 yr old so i really don't give a fuck.
.....i meant she considered herself as a child.....not an adult



Agreed. I consider her a kid at that age. I think she was 18 in that video and i think of her as a kid there too.

I

click to expand

I have been having a few convos with parents whose sons and daughters have left home to go to Uni. Most of them say the same thing, that at 18 they are hardly equipped for the huge changes facing them. When i read about the brain not developing until mid 20's it made sense. The cognitive development up until then is sporadic and they often make incorrect choices.... I wonder about people that get married in their teens and early 20s, if they wake up one morning and think *i have made a terrible mistake* because the brain not having matured



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aquapiscescusp
@aquapiscescusp
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Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by Seraphlight
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by Seraphlight
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by Seraphlight



She said she had the experience when she was 16 and referred to herself as a *minor* ...


He was charged with raping a 15 yr old so i really don't give a fuck.
.....i meant she considered herself as a child.....not an adult



Agreed. I consider her a kid at that age. I think she was 18 in that video and i think of her as a kid there too.

I


I have been having a few convos with parents whose sons and daughters have left home to go to Uni. Most of them say the same thing, that at 18 they are hardly equipped for the huge changes facing them. When i read about the brain not developing until mid 20's it made sense. The cognitive development up until then is sporadic and they often make incorrect choices.... I wonder about people that get married in their teens and early 20s, if they wake up one morning and think *i have made a terrible mistake* because the brain not having matured



click to expand

isnt full development reached around 25?
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enfant_terrible
@enfant_terrible
17 Years10,000+ PostsLeo

Comments: 1470 · Posts: 13777 · Topics: 204
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by mzmee
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by mzmee
I don't care what the age of consent is, no 16 year old CHILD of mine will be hooking up with a pedophile. And if I see someone's CHILD with a pedophile, I'm screaming it from the mountain tops.

What grown ass, 30 year old man is cool with sexing a baby?
Adults still not familiar with the definition pedophile i see. It's a dangerous word to just throw around like that


pedophile

noun pe·do·phile \ˈpe-də-ˌfī(-ə)l, ˈpē-\

Definition of pedophile for English Language Learners

: a person who has a sexual interest in children

16— A child. Nope. Not arguing this.


16 is not a child, but a teenager ffs. Get off it. I wonder what is wrong with people with such a skewed perception in these matters. Moral panic at its finest




Nothing wrong, it is called responsible and caring parenting.....you don't have a daughter, if i am not mistaken? If you did, i wonder how you would feel if you found out from someone else that she was having sex with a guy old enough to be her dad?

Think about it....

click to expand

Subjectively I wouldn't like it. Objectively it's still not pedophilia. Objectively you have to deal with a lot of shit in life that you don't like, or that trigger your complexes.. as a few of you have demonstrated in this thread.

Talk about only having one mode.
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MyStarsShine
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Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by mzmee
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by mzmee
I don't care what the age of consent is, no 16 year old CHILD of mine will be hooking up with a pedophile. And if I see someone's CHILD with a pedophile, I'm screaming it from the mountain tops.

What grown ass, 30 year old man is cool with sexing a baby?
Adults still not familiar with the definition pedophile i see. It's a dangerous word to just throw around like that


pedophile

noun pe·do·phile \ˈpe-də-ˌfī(-ə)l, ˈpē-\

Definition of pedophile for English Language Learners

: a person who has a sexual interest in children

16— A child. Nope. Not arguing this.


16 is not a child, but a teenager ffs. Get off it. I wonder what is wrong with people with such a skewed perception in these matters. Moral panic at its finest




Nothing wrong, it is called responsible and caring parenting.....you don't have a daughter, if i am not mistaken? If you did, i wonder how you would feel if you found out from someone else that she was having sex with a guy old enough to be her dad?

Think about it....


Subjectively I wouldn't like it. Objectively it's still not pedophilia. Objectively you have to deal with a lot of shit in life that you don't like, or that trigger your complexes.. as a few of you have demonstrated in this thread.

Talk about only having one mode.
click to expand

Sure

Parent mode.....tbh you have to be in it to experience it.
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enfant_terrible
@enfant_terrible
17 Years10,000+ PostsLeo

Comments: 1470 · Posts: 13777 · Topics: 204
Posted by Seraphlight
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by mzmee
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by mzmee
I don't care what the age of consent is, no 16 year old CHILD of mine will be hooking up with a pedophile. And if I see someone's CHILD with a pedophile, I'm screaming it from the mountain tops.

What grown ass, 30 year old man is cool with sexing a baby?
Adults still not familiar with the definition pedophile i see. It's a dangerous word to just throw around like that


pedophile

noun pe·do·phile \ˈpe-də-ˌfī(-ə)l, ˈpē-\

Definition of pedophile for English Language Learners

: a person who has a sexual interest in children

16— A child. Nope. Not arguing this.


16 is not a child, but a teenager ffs. Get off it. I wonder what is wrong with people with such a skewed perception in these matters. Moral panic at its finest




Nothing wrong, it is called responsible and caring parenting.....you don't have a daughter, if i am not mistaken? If you did, i wonder how you would feel if you found out from someone else that she was having sex with a guy old enough to be her dad?

Think about it....


Objectively it's still not pedophilia.

You aren't being objective there.

click to expand



Wikipedia a few pages back says I am. Modern psychology says I am. Swedish laws say I am.
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enfant_terrible
@enfant_terrible
17 Years10,000+ PostsLeo

Comments: 1470 · Posts: 13777 · Topics: 204
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by mzmee
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by mzmee
I don't care what the age of consent is, no 16 year old CHILD of mine will be hooking up with a pedophile. And if I see someone's CHILD with a pedophile, I'm screaming it from the mountain tops.

What grown ass, 30 year old man is cool with sexing a baby?
Adults still not familiar with the definition pedophile i see. It's a dangerous word to just throw around like that


pedophile

noun pe·do·phile \ˈpe-də-ˌfī(-ə)l, ˈpē-\

Definition of pedophile for English Language Learners

: a person who has a sexual interest in children

16— A child. Nope. Not arguing this.


16 is not a child, but a teenager ffs. Get off it. I wonder what is wrong with people with such a skewed perception in these matters. Moral panic at its finest




Nothing wrong, it is called responsible and caring parenting.....you don't have a daughter, if i am not mistaken? If you did, i wonder how you would feel if you found out from someone else that she was having sex with a guy old enough to be her dad?

Think about it....


Subjectively I wouldn't like it. Objectively it's still not pedophilia. Objectively you have to deal with a lot of shit in life that you don't like, or that trigger your complexes.. as a few of you have demonstrated in this thread.

Talk about only having one mode.
Sure

Parent mode.....tbh you have to be in it to experience it.

click to expand



That's the problem see. When you become a parent you lose all sense of objectivity.





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MyStarsShine
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Comments: 37529 · Posts: 41243 · Topics: 331
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by mzmee
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by mzmee
I don't care what the age of consent is, no 16 year old CHILD of mine will be hooking up with a pedophile. And if I see someone's CHILD with a pedophile, I'm screaming it from the mountain tops.

What grown ass, 30 year old man is cool with sexing a baby?
Adults still not familiar with the definition pedophile i see. It's a dangerous word to just throw around like that


pedophile

noun pe·do·phile \ˈpe-də-ˌfī(-ə)l, ˈpē-\

Definition of pedophile for English Language Learners

: a person who has a sexual interest in children

16— A child. Nope. Not arguing this.


16 is not a child, but a teenager ffs. Get off it. I wonder what is wrong with people with such a skewed perception in these matters. Moral panic at its finest




Nothing wrong, it is called responsible and caring parenting.....you don't have a daughter, if i am not mistaken? If you did, i wonder how you would feel if you found out from someone else that she was having sex with a guy old enough to be her dad?

Think about it....


Subjectively I wouldn't like it. Objectively it's still not pedophilia. Objectively you have to deal with a lot of shit in life that you don't like, or that trigger your complexes.. as a few of you have demonstrated in this thread.

Talk about only having one mode.
Sure

Parent mode.....tbh you have to be in it to experience it.




That's the problem see. When you become a parent you lose all sense of objectivity.







click to expand



The worst case scenario I have seen of that is a Jewish woman who just could not let her son be a man....she had to choose everything for him.....his clothes, his gf's, etc ... The poor guy couldn't breath

Jfc



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enfant_terrible
@enfant_terrible
17 Years10,000+ PostsLeo

Comments: 1470 · Posts: 13777 · Topics: 204
Posted by Seraphlight
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by Seraphlight
You aren't being objective there.




Wikipedia a few pages back says I am. Modern psychology says I am. Swedish laws say I am.



I took psychology as an elective for a year. It doesn't. Wiki is hardly something you can put in your footnotes submitting an academic article is it.

click to expand

It's a source of information. Information that many times is gained from academic articles you speak of. Quit playing dumb for sake of argument.

And I wasn't discussing minds of pedophiles but whether or not a 16 year old is prepared to recieve dick, moral panic aside. The laws in the most progressive country in the world says she is. It also says a person is a child until the age of 13.

Furthermore most guys are physically attracted to girls 16+ bc guess what, they are physically developed. They are not children. According to the logic of the rabid hens in here this would make most men pedophiles. ?

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PinkySagLove
@mzmee
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Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by mzmee
Posted by enfant_terrible
"...criteria for pedophilia extend the cut-off point for prepubescence to age 13.[1] A person who is diagnosed with pedophilia must be at least 16 years old, but adolescents must be at least five years older than the prepubescent child for the attraction to be diagnosed as pedophilia."

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedophilia





But sure let's all have our own definition..


If she's not grown, she's a child. Period.


I am not familiar with the legal/biological definition of "grown" in this context. I am however familiar with the term "subjective".

click to expand



It is very subjective. That's truly how I feel though.
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LadyNeptune
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Posted by enfant_terrible
I'd be more concerned if my hypothetical 16 year old daughter dated a sincere and serious 30 year old bc If he'd turn out to be a pedo then that relationship would have a really short life expectancy. He'd lose his boner by the time she turns 18 lol .


Or he'd marry her, have kids with her, and molest his daughter and any friends she has over for play dates.
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aquapiscescusp
@aquapiscescusp
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Posted by LadyNeptune
This thread is still ongoing! Jfc.

It's simple, if the girl in question is classified as a child in that country/state then it is illegal and needs to be reported to the authorities. If she is classified as an adult then it's non of your buisness.

Can the op please clarify the legal age of consent for the area she lives in?
Yes, this thread is still going, why.... is that a problem for you?

The age of consent is irrelevant in my original question as that does not dictate what's right or wrong as far as I'm concerned. I've already established he's a manipulating sob taking advantage of a teenager. Should the parents be advised is the original dilemma. I'm getting many constructive opinions and some non so constructive but that's the beauty of dxp.
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PinkySagLove
@mzmee
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Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by mzmee
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by mzmee
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by mzmee
I don't care what the age of consent is, no 16 year old CHILD of mine will be hooking up with a pedophile. And if I see someone's CHILD with a pedophile, I'm screaming it from the mountain tops.

What grown ass, 30 year old man is cool with sexing a baby?
Adults still not familiar with the definition pedophile i see. It's a dangerous word to just throw around like that


pedophile

noun pe·do·phile \ˈpe-də-ˌfī(-ə)l, ˈpē-\

Definition of pedophile for English Language Learners

: a person who has a sexual interest in children

16— A child. Nope. Not arguing this.


16 is not a child, but a teenager ffs. Get off it. I wonder what is wrong with people with such a skewed perception in these matters. Moral panic at its finest




If she aint grown she's a child.


The body can take up to the age of 18+ to mature...i have seen our son from the age of 15 to now shoot up in size....

Also the brain can take up to well in the 20s to mature to its' full capacity





click to expand



That is true.. however comma when I think of family I have this age being courted by a grown ass 30 year old, I don't feel great about that idea at all.
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aquapiscescusp
@aquapiscescusp
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Comments: 33 · Posts: 13769 · Topics: 154
Posted by Gem_from_Venus
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Posted by LadyNeptune
This thread is still ongoing! Jfc.

It's simple, if the girl in question is classified as a child in that country/state then it is illegal and needs to be reported to the authorities. If she is classified as an adult then it's non of your buisness.

Can the op please clarify the legal age of consent for the area she lives in?
Yes, this thread is still going, why.... is that a problem for you?

The age of consent is irrelevant in my original question as that does not dictate what's right or wrong as far as I'm concerned. I've already established he's a manipulating sob taking advantage of a teenager. Should the parents be advised is the original dilemma. I'm getting many constructive opinions and some non so constructive but that's the beauty of dxp.
Have you come to a decision? I'm invested in how this plays out now. 😆
click to expand

How are you invested? A bet? Sorry, I can't keep track...

As for my decision, what everyone is saying here is what's going on in my head, I'm all over the place with it. When I feel that way I usually don't act on it. Someone very close, trusted me with that information and i can't break that trust the way things are now. So based on that it would have to be anonymous ugh.

Let's see what happens over Xmas.
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aquapiscescusp
@aquapiscescusp
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Comments: 33 · Posts: 13769 · Topics: 154
Posted by Gem_from_Venus
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Posted by Gem_from_Venus
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Posted by LadyNeptune
This thread is still ongoing! Jfc.

It's simple, if the girl in question is classified as a child in that country/state then it is illegal and needs to be reported to the authorities. If she is classified as an adult then it's non of your buisness.

Can the op please clarify the legal age of consent for the area she lives in?
Yes, this thread is still going, why.... is that a problem for you?

The age of consent is irrelevant in my original question as that does not dictate what's right or wrong as far as I'm concerned. I've already established he's a manipulating sob taking advantage of a teenager. Should the parents be advised is the original dilemma. I'm getting many constructive opinions and some non so constructive but that's the beauty of dxp.
Have you come to a decision? I'm invested in how this plays out now. 😆
How are you invested? A bet? Sorry, I can't keep track...

As for my decision, what everyone is saying here is what's going on in my head, I'm all over the place with it. When I feel that way I usually don't act on it. Someone very close, trusted me with that information and i can't break that trust the way things are now. So based on that it would have to be anonymous ugh.

Let's see what happens over Xmas.


LOL, emotionally invested in seeing how it plays out since so many people felt compelled to share opinions and it's such a complex issue. I commented early on.
click to expand


Yes, I just went to reread your comments...

It is a complex issue and it's clear through the comments how varied the thinking is.

I don't know his story but I think he travels quite a bit or has another home in another city. He peobably has a whole family somewhere else!

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aquapiscescusp
@aquapiscescusp
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Posted by Gem_from_Venus
Posted by aquapiscescusp
I had a friend who committed suicide when she was 18 over an "older Guy" who she thought was the love of her life. She got pregnant... he bailed saying he was getting back with his wife.


No wonder you're so concerned. I'm so sorry that happened. That's the real danger with someone so young dating an older person. She's going to experience an adult relationship but she may not have the adult coping skills for that yet.

click to expand

Yeah for sure... no one ever expected her to do that.
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Lilianni
@Lilianni
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Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by Blackburn
Posted by cvurko
Posted by Blackburn
Posted by cvurko
Not my business, i'd keep my nose out of it.

----

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good ppl do nothing.


I dont see how that's evil. People are too easy to judge and project their own definitions of good, evil, right, wrong and etc. on the others. If i don't know the actual situation and the two parties sincere mentality and feelings i am not the one to make the call. Having a relationship with a partner who is way younger/older than you is not evil per se.

----

Actually, I was joking a bit.

Also, is a phrase, it's not literal. There's no right and wrong, is perception.

Yes, I don't know what to do in this situations, but I really think is strange for a grown man/woman to be with a teenager, taking into consideration the experiences/lack of them and other factors as life goals etc.. It's not age gap, but teenager-grown man, I think.


I agree, there is something very weird about an adult dating a teen

Creepy

click to expand

It's one thing to be dating, another thing to be friends. Even if there's "chemistry" that line shouldn't be crossed.