After getting married, have you ever missed being single?

This night, I came back home from long hours of work, feeling tired, I just want to do whatever the fuck I want. But I couldn't. Because I needed to attend my baby who never stay still nowadays. Then I luckily had my aunt who could tend my baby then, I went into our bedroom and got a little sleep. As I was drifting to sleep, my husband entered the room with his loud instagram comedy video post and his laughing at it. "Can you watch it outside?" He complained nicely and plugged in his earphones and laughed softly.

At that time, as I was trying to sleep again, I imagined myself being single.. imagined feeling free having no obligations to do this and that as a partner and mother until I went back to sleep.

I missed being single but I know it is just temporarily because I also figured my life will be colorless without my husband who doesn't give me headaches often and my cute active son. At the same time though, I feel things can get tougher as my son grows. More things to come.

Have you ever felt like this?

Or is it just me being tired and bored with daily hustle and bustle?

I am just letting this out..

I loved family life but prefer how I live now ... we both raised our son but live separately now. It works well and we all remain close but have our own space.

This just sounds like you're tired or exhausted. It has to do with the baby fussing and your husband being loud. I think most mothers feel like this until the kids can finally go to school and you can actually get real rest.

This is family life unfortunately

I always missed being single just a few days into a relationship, let alone being married.

No I never wanted to be single. Adjusting to motherhood is hard sometimes, and not a lot of you time. But as they get older, there is a lot of joy, happiness and life being full. And you must find the you time & the balance along the way. I wouldn’t trade it for anything g, the babies are the best part. ( they are in their 20’s now). I’m divorced but it’s because our paths were going different ways. I enjoyed having a partner in life, in raising the kids. But, it does take a bit of getting used to, and adjusting to each other. Letting your needs known is important.

Posted by PuzzlePieces

No I never wanted to be single. Adjusting to motherhood is hard sometimes, and not a lot of you time. But as they get older, there is a lot of joy, happiness and life being full. And you must find the you time & the balance along the way. I wouldn’t trade it for anything g, the babies are the best part. ( they are in their 20’s now). I’m divorced but it’s because our paths were going different ways. I enjoyed having a partner in life, in raising the kids. But, it does take a bit of getting used to, and adjusting to each other. Letting your needs known is important.

“The babies are the best part”

👍

Wouldn’t have missed being a mum for the world

❤️❤️❤️

Been married for a few years, my parents live less than half an hour away. I sometimes go visit my parents for a few weeks at a time and it’s nice, gives us both space to use the abundance of free time we get to do our own thing. His heart definitely grows fonder for me while I’m away that he starts ordering stuff to surprise me with once I’m back, last time he booked us a reaaally nice trip out of the blue 9 months in advance for this upcoming December.

But my husband recently got a new job and we have to eventually move 3 hours away… we’re planning to start a family soon too so my whole dream of dumping my kids to my parents sometimes so that I can enjoy some me time with and without my hubs whenever I want is all gonna be going out the window! It actually kind of makes me nervous but oh wells I’ll just go with the flow as things come. But yeah, it just sounds like you need some serious you time!! Tell your hubs to watch HIS kid while you go out all day for yourself or something.

I think you’re suffering a little postpartum depression. If feelings or thoughts get too much, speak to a doctor or nurse.

Posted by ImperfectStorm

This was my life 4 years ago. Lol it’s especially bad if/when you don’t get much help with the baby. You feel like the husband/boyfriend is more like a roommate.

I wasn’t married but I was with my sons dad for over 10 years and we lived together for 4 of those years. I ended up leaving that relationship mostly because he cheated, but if I’m going to be honest, I had a lot of these nights too like you described. I remember laying in bed next to him looking at houses on Zillow daydreaming about what it would be like.. just me and my son living together and having my own personal time when my son was at his dads. That is how it’s been for the last 3 years and yes, I am happier now than I was then. If it was not for the cheating though, I would have stayed and worked things out. Just communicate with your husband about how you feel so that resentment doesn’t build up over time and start to eat away at your connection. That is where I went wrong… we had horrible communication so I did not share how unhappy I was, and obviously he was unhappy too. (Hence the cheating)

Consider couples therapy, scheduling date nights etc. we sometimes lose ourselves in the day to day grind. Aside from being a mother and a wife, you are your own person and you have to remember to care for yourself the same way that you care for them so that you don’t burn yourself out.

Yes, i agree, it is okay to cheat if you're not happy.

And yes i also agree, we need to blame ourself when someone cheat on us and say sorry and give them sorry gift when someone cheat on us, that is the right way to appreciate betrayal in our loyalty.

Life with a husband/partner and a child is hard, but being single also had its days. I do miss the freedom and how much money I had to just do what I wanted.

In the end I think this is exhaustion. I feel it too recently, more days than not. But when I do get some time to myself, I know in my heart I would not want to be anywhere else with anyone else.

Posted by bmoon8

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/202102/why-so-many-single-women-without-children-are-happy

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeand style /2019/may/25/women-happier-without-children-or-a-spouse-happiness-expert

https://www.flashpack.com/us/relationships/women-happier-single-men/

Not me, Ive always experienced great joy from being a mum and i’m much calmer and grounded. It can be bloody difficult but that can make you stronger too. It makes you grow up too having to consider someone else all the time and its big love with a capital *L*. I’m so glad i experienced it ❤️.

As for the husband bit 🥴

Lol

I can't tell you. I'm not against marriage but it has to be with the one.

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Posted by einsthepisces

Posted by ImperfectStorm

This was my life 4 years ago. Lol it’s especially bad if/when you don’t get much help with the baby. You feel like the husband/boyfriend is more like a roommate.

I wasn’t married but I was with my sons dad for over 10 years and we lived together for 4 of those years. I ended up leaving that relationship mostly because he cheated, but if I’m going to be honest, I had a lot of these nights too like you described. I remember laying in bed next to him looking at houses on Zillow daydreaming about what it would be like.. just me and my son living together and having my own personal time when my son was at his dads. That is how it’s been for the last 3 years and yes, I am happier now than I was then. If it was not for the cheating though, I would have stayed and worked things out. Just communicate with your husband about how you feel so that resentment doesn’t build up over time and start to eat away at your connection. That is where I went wrong… we had horrible communication so I did not share how unhappy I was, and obviously he was unhappy too. (Hence the cheating)

Consider couples therapy, scheduling date nights etc. we sometimes lose ourselves in the day to day grind. Aside from being a mother and a wife, you are your own person and you have to remember to care for yourself the same way that you care for them so that you don’t burn yourself out.

Yes, i agree, it is okay to cheat if you're not happy.

And yes i also agree, we need to blame ourself when someone cheat on us and say sorry and give them sorry gift when someone cheat on us, that is the right way to appreciate betrayal in our loyalty.

Wait, what? 🤨

Maybe you should try re-reading my post again.

click to expand

But but but, im just agreeing with your brilliant conclusion... 😢

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Posted by einsthepisces

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Posted by einsthepisces

Posted by ImperfectStorm

This was my life 4 years ago. Lol it’s especially bad if/when you don’t get much help with the baby. You feel like the husband/boyfriend is more like a roommate.

I wasn’t married but I was with my sons dad for over 10 years and we lived together for 4 of those years. I ended up leaving that relationship mostly because he cheated, but if I’m going to be honest, I had a lot of these nights too like you described. I remember laying in bed next to him looking at houses on Zillow daydreaming about what it would be like.. just me and my son living together and having my own personal time when my son was at his dads. That is how it’s been for the last 3 years and yes, I am happier now than I was then. If it was not for the cheating though, I would have stayed and worked things out. Just communicate with your husband about how you feel so that resentment doesn’t build up over time and start to eat away at your connection. That is where I went wrong… we had horrible communication so I did not share how unhappy I was, and obviously he was unhappy too. (Hence the cheating)

Consider couples therapy, scheduling date nights etc. we sometimes lose ourselves in the day to day grind. Aside from being a mother and a wife, you are your own person and you have to remember to care for yourself the same way that you care for them so that you don’t burn yourself out.

Yes, i agree, it is okay to cheat if you're not happy.

And yes i also agree, we need to blame ourself when someone cheat on us and say sorry and give them sorry gift when someone cheat on us, that is the right way to appreciate betrayal in our loyalty.

Wait, what? 🤨

Maybe you should try re-reading my post again.

But but but, im just agreeing with your brilliant conclusion... 😢

No sweetheart.. that’s your **perception** of what I wrote.

Big, BIG difference there which is why I suggested reading again. 😉

click to expand

But... but... but... your conclusion already brilliant and need to be an example for all humanity 😢

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Posted by einsthepisces

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Posted by einsthepisces

Posted by ImperfectStorm

This was my life 4 years ago. Lol it’s especially bad if/when you don’t get much help with the baby. You feel like the husband/boyfriend is more like a roommate.

I wasn’t married but I was with my sons dad for over 10 years and we lived together for 4 of those years. I ended up leaving that relationship mostly because he cheated, but if I’m going to be honest, I had a lot of these nights too like you described. I remember laying in bed next to him looking at houses on Zillow daydreaming about what it would be like.. just me and my son living together and having my own personal time when my son was at his dads. That is how it’s been for the last 3 years and yes, I am happier now than I was then. If it was not for the cheating though, I would have stayed and worked things out. Just communicate with your husband about how you feel so that resentment doesn’t build up over time and start to eat away at your connection. That is where I went wrong… we had horrible communication so I did not share how unhappy I was, and obviously he was unhappy too. (Hence the cheating)

Consider couples therapy, scheduling date nights etc. we sometimes lose ourselves in the day to day grind. Aside from being a mother and a wife, you are your own person and you have to remember to care for yourself the same way that you care for them so that you don’t burn yourself out.

Yes, i agree, it is okay to cheat if you're not happy.

And yes i also agree, we need to blame ourself when someone cheat on us and say sorry and give them sorry gift when someone cheat on us, that is the right way to appreciate betrayal in our loyalty.

Wait, what? 🤨

Maybe you should try re-reading my post again.

But but but, im just agreeing with your brilliant conclusion... 😢

After reading your other posts I realize now that English is probably not your first language so I can understand how you could completely twist my words around. I’m responsible for what I say and you are responsible for how you perceive it.

click to expand

My God, how-how did you figure that out 😢 do you have some kind of super power ability or what ? 😢 only chosen few could saw that 😢 maybe you are the ONE 😢

Thanks for your thoughts, guys.

I actually dont have any problem to dash my baby to my husband for a day or two. He cooperates very well when it comes to our baby. He loves him so much, he was the one who have always wanted to have children, so. But sure do, if I were to be asked to choose between not having them both by being single or to have them all together, I would def choose the latter.

It was just an exhaustion, mostly.

Posted by bmoon8

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by bmoon8

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/202102/why-so-many-single-women-without-children-are-happy

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeand style /2019/may/25/women-happier-without-children-or-a-spouse-happiness-expert

https://www.flashpack.com/us/relationships/women-happier-single-men/

Not me, Ive always experienced great joy from being a mum and i’m much calmer and grounded. It can be bloody difficult but that can make you stronger too. It makes you grow up too having to consider someone else all the time and its big love with a capital *L*. I’m so glad i experienced it ❤️.

As for the husband bit 🥴

Lol

Awe, that is wonderful.

Personally, I have never wanted kids. I always protected myself from having them. I am happy so far with this decision. Kids are a lot of work and stress. It takes a special kind of person to raise them.

click to expand

😘

Yes not for everyone! I’ve seen plenty of cases of people that weren’t cut out for the job. It brings out the best and worst in people.

It made me more loving, selfless, mature and thick skinned lol 😂

I love him like I’ve never loved anyone before and probably never will

❤️

Posted by Subliminals

This night, I came back home from long hours of work, feeling tired, I just want to do whatever the fuck I want. But I couldn't. Because I needed to attend my baby who never stay still nowadays. Then I luckily had my aunt who could tend my baby then, I went into our bedroom and got a little sleep. As I was drifting to sleep, my husband entered the room with his loud instagram comedy video post and his laughing at it. "Can you watch it outside?" He complained nicely and plugged in his earphones and laughed softly.

At that time, as I was trying to sleep again, I imagined myself being single.. imagined feeling free having no obligations to do this and that as a partner and mother until I went back to sleep.

I missed being single but I know it is just temporarily because I also figured my life will be colorless without my husband who doesn't give me headaches often and my cute active son. At the same time though, I feel things can get tougher as my son grows. More things to come.

Have you ever felt like this?

Or is it just me being tired and bored with daily hustle and bustle?

I am just letting this out..

The issue is perhaps less about being married and more about having a baby. Without children, you still have freedom even if married. I love being married but we never had children because I didn’t want that ball me chain. Seriously, children are a lot harder and more work than a spouse.

As a result I do whatever I want, whenever I want.

I think you should work out with your spouse a certain day or evening or night when you’re going to have that time to yourself. At least once a week. Stay in, go out, eat, sleep. Whatever.

Tying yourself down by bringing kids to this world is the most irrational thing you can do regardless if you "thought it through", I just don't get why anyone would do it. It's a feeling to me equivalent of what I suppose it would feel like being deathly sick.

Posted by 81gems

Posted by Subliminals

This night, I came back home from long hours of work, feeling tired, I just want to do whatever the fuck I want. But I couldn't. Because I needed to attend my baby who never stay still nowadays. Then I luckily had my aunt who could tend my baby then, I went into our bedroom and got a little sleep. As I was drifting to sleep, my husband entered the room with his loud instagram comedy video post and his laughing at it. "Can you watch it outside?" He complained nicely and plugged in his earphones and laughed softly.

At that time, as I was trying to sleep again, I imagined myself being single.. imagined feeling free having no obligations to do this and that as a partner and mother until I went back to sleep.

I missed being single but I know it is just temporarily because I also figured my life will be colorless without my husband who doesn't give me headaches often and my cute active son. At the same time though, I feel things can get tougher as my son grows. More things to come.

Have you ever felt like this?

Or is it just me being tired and bored with daily hustle and bustle?

I am just letting this out..

The issue is perhaps less about being married and more about having a baby. Without children, you still have freedom even if married. I love being married but we never had children because I didn’t want that ball me chain. Seriously, children are a lot harder and more work than a spouse.

As a result I do whatever I want, whenever I want.

I think you should work out with your spouse a certain day or evening or night when you’re going to have that time to yourself. At least once a week. Stay in, go out, eat, sleep. Whatever.

click to expand

You're right. It's not the marriage. But more so having a child. Yes.

Arranging me time with my spouse is totally doable. Thanks!

Posted by Enfant-Terrible-II

Tying yourself down by bringing kids to this world is the most irrational thing you can do regardless if you "thought it through", I just don't get why anyone would do it. It's a feeling to me equivalent of what I suppose it would feel like being deathly sick.

Congrats! You have surpassed our basic instinct in life which is to pass on our genetic information to preserve our existence in this world.

I'm not sure happiness has to do with if your married, single or have a child. I believe it comes from how "relaxed " and "peaceful " you can feel/achieve in your life.

Personally, I don't care much for marriage or children let alone both. Obviously, you've done it because it's what you wanted. Three of my brothers got married and have kids. I feel like the first year was always the hardest for my sister-in-laws yet low-key the happiest. I feel it's completely normal with how you're feeling not from my experience but by witnessing and observing my siblings wives. You're going to have days where you want your independence so like make sure to have you time and allow yourself to reflect with how you're feeling without feeling guilty. The grass is always greener, so it's good that you don't get persuaded easily because reading replies would have you running for the hills with a suitcase leaving your husband and baby behind. Like anything else in life, there's always the adjustment period. Also, ask your husband for space without feeling bad about it. Space is good.