Another view on cheating (Page 2)

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by fugu2

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by fugu2

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by fugu2

Posted by Gemitati
I want to ask those who were cheated on - have you ever though about why!

Have you ever maybe analyzed your part in this unfortunate happening?

Like maybe your partner would be much happier to not to cheat and be with you but you haven't listened to their pleadings and missed their hints and they become frustrated and did it!!!

I had never heard anyone said 'what have I done to make it happen?'

What have they done wrong?

They chose the wrong partner.



/discussion.

How long have you been in relationships the longest?

So shut up! Please

Once your BAC % is under stomach-pumping level, feel free to rephrase that question.

So I guess 2 month was IT?

Try 50 months and counting. If that's difficult for you to conceptualize, just look at your fingers and count how many you see.

So what's your problem?

click to expand

Nothing. I just disagreed with your post. Then you felt the need to get rude with me for whatever reason. 🙂

Posted by fugu2

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by fugu2

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by fugu2

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by fugu2

Posted by Gemitati
I want to ask those who were cheated on - have you ever though about why!

Have you ever maybe analyzed your part in this unfortunate happening?

Like maybe your partner would be much happier to not to cheat and be with you but you haven't listened to their pleadings and missed their hints and they become frustrated and did it!!!

I had never heard anyone said 'what have I done to make it happen?'

What have they done wrong?

They chose the wrong partner.



/discussion.

How long have you been in relationships the longest?

So shut up! Please

Once your BAC % is under stomach-pumping level, feel free to rephrase that question.

So I guess 2 month was IT?

Try 50 months and counting. If that's difficult for you to conceptualize, just look at your fingers and count how many you see.

So what's your problem?

Nothing. I just disagreed with your post. Then you felt the need to get rude with me for whatever reason. 🙂

click to expand

I wasn't rude! I just asked what's your problem if you have 50 month ongoing thing?

Posted by Seraphlight
You don't belong to a relationship you cheat on. That is not being TRUE to the person ...that word TRUE

TRUE LOVE...it's not TRUE LOVE...

I believe in TRUE LOVE.

When you say you don't belong it's kind of not so true because I've belonged for so long so not to belong after it sounds strange.

Irbid only telling us that no one can be the same person forever and nothing is written in stone!

Life goes on.!

And many many times you will find yoirself don't belong anymore. Does it mean you have to cross off all the times in your past when you belonged? I don't think so.

When time come and you ready to withdraw - you will do it. Until then you still belong! The question is for how long...

Posted by confusingconfused
Some people are just serial cheaters. I know a couple of them (a Leo dude and a Pisces dude) who have cheated on every single person they have dated. In this case, it's the grass-is-always-greener-on-the-other-side syndrome. It doesn't matter who they are with, they always feel they can do better. Also, both have new girls throwing themselves at them on a regular basis.

Yes, I know the same type of guys, the ones that have cheated on every single girl they have been with.. A Leo, a Scorp, a Pisces, a cancer, a gem.. I'm sure there's more , can't think of anymore at the moment

You're dropping so much wisdom that I gotta ask, what's the real key to a prosperous marriage?

Posted by Gemitati
I want to ask those who were cheated on - have you ever though about why!

Have you ever maybe analyzed your part in this unfortunate happening?

Like maybe your partner would be much happier to not to cheat and be with you but you haven't listened to their pleadings and missed their hints and they become frustrated and did it!!!

I had never heard anyone said 'what have I done to make it happen?'

I'm going with age and immaturity at 21-25 and it takes a stronger person which was me. To leave so he can do whatever he wanted because it was no longer meaningful to me at all. It wasn't sex because we were compatible. But I wasn't compatible through sex once I kept figuring out he was still messing around.

Posted by mission
You're dropping so much wisdom that I gotta ask, what's the real key to a prosperous marriage?

There isn't any!

As scary as it might sound to you there is no certificate of until death do us part!

You live. You do your best and you think you are going to be stable and happy forever.

All of subject flows. When you are younger you might laugh at those flows and never mind them.

You grow older and become more aware of things and these minor things you thought you can overcome - becoming an obstacles that starting to drive you up-a-wall! And you keep plugging trough because you said until death do us part.

But you can stretch only that far until it's snapped and gets broken. Though you sew it together. But the seem is there and it's rubbing you in all wrong places.

If there is no brick that falls on your head and wakes you up from your routine - you die miserable and warned out and if you are strong enough - everyone still believing that smile on your dead face is sign of happy life you had lived.

If you are 'lucky' to get hit by that brick - you turn around and think...what ya heck am I doing killing myself in a misery of my own existence—

And this is where it becomes a challenge.

And it's up to you. Ruin the old to build new...without ANY guarantee that new will be better!

one can only hope!

This is why being mature adult means before you ruin old - make sure new one IS going to BE better!

Again. Remember. There is no paper that guarantee you anything. Maybe life insurance...but it's a whole another story.

Lol

I think I'd actually blame myself if my guy cheats on me. N I said this on some other thread a year ago on dxp too. He maybe a serial cheater n yada yada....but I don't think that would stop me from blaming or questioning myself. I think I'll be more disappointed in me than the guy.

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428

Posted by Gemitati
I want to ask those who were cheated on - have you ever though about why!

Have you ever maybe analyzed your part in this unfortunate happening?

Like maybe your partner would be much happier to not to cheat and be with you but you haven't listened to their pleadings and missed their hints and they become frustrated and did it!!!

I had never heard anyone said 'what have I done to make it happen?'

I'm going with age and immaturity at 21-25 and it takes a stronger person which was me. To leave so he can do whatever he wanted because it was no longer meaningful to me at all. It wasn't sex because we were compatible. But I wasn't compatible through sex once I kept figuring out he was still messing around.

click to expand

So you have some Gemini in you? Lol

When we get hurt - there is no point of return for them! Good for you!

Hope things better since...

Posted by Teena
I think I'd actually blame myself if my guy cheats on me. N I said this on some other thread a year ago on dxp too. He maybe a serial cheater n yada yada....but I don't think that would stop me from blaming or questioning myself. I think I'll be more disappointed in me than the guy.

I have no experience on this fortunately.

This is why I was always on men side of the issues like it's all her fault...

So this is maybe the only area I am not going to include in my book. Lol

Because I haven't lived it.

However I am sure if he is a runner - you can be the best of all worlds - he will do his 'job' because he can.

It's not women's fault he is cheating but not hers she is letting him back to her bed.

?

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Teena
I think I'd actually blame myself if my guy cheats on me. N I said this on some other thread a year ago on dxp too. He maybe a serial cheater n yada yada....but I don't think that would stop me from blaming or questioning myself. I think I'll be more disappointed in me than the guy.

I have no experience on this fortunately.

This is why I was always on men side of the issues like it's all her fault...

So this is maybe the only area I am not going to include in my book. Lol

Because I haven't lived it.

However I am sure if he is a runner - you can be the best of all worlds - he will do his 'job' because he can.

It's not women's fault he is cheating but not hers she is letting him back to her bed.

?

click to expand

I haven't been there either n I know what you're saying. I understand I may not be at fault to start with.But from what I know of myself, that is what I'd be contemplating..How did this happen n how did I let it. But for one thing, as stupid as it may sound, I know I can forgive a spouse who have cheated on me. One may say it's easy to say coz I haven't been there. But I know me.Unless he's emotionally invested in someone, I think I'll find reasons to keep him rather than letting go.

Posted by Areyoumytwinflame
This is why being mature adult means before you ruin old - make sure new one IS going to BE better!

How is this mature?

I just skimmed through this and I'm going to be blunt but it just sounds like you were overweight and insecure and were looking for validation and happiness outside of yourself.

The first mistake is thinking it's your spouses job to make you feel happy and complete. You need to feel happy and complete on your own. Doesn't sound like you ever did. And still don't by the way you talk about yourself. "He's out of my league" This new person will provide that temporarily comfort until they don't and then you're back in the same situation.

You need to learn to love yourself. You're cheating because you're an empty person and you need someone else to validate your self worth.

OMG!

No!!!!!

I had always been happy with my appearance and being fat didn't make me sad nor unhappy! I was born fat! And gorgeous! Lol

Believe it or not it's your choice!

I don't know if my love is that awesome as I see him but when I look at him I want to make an altar and have his face there to worship!

I didn't know he wasn't happy because I thought man like him must be kissed in his butt on daily basis!

So when he came out I was in such turmoil I couldn't eat, so I had lost all this weight and he had never commented on this like if he didn't care a bit! Except once I said 'my ass' and he said like you have any...lol

You said temporary comfort...have you been reading me at all?

What's temporary? 8 years is temporary—

My husband is worships me. He just does it in a way I don't like but he complimenting me 10 times per day!

I have a few men who would jump right into relashionships info said GO!

But never ever before I wanted anyone and I know I never will again!

Because it's something that just happened.

It's out of my control!!'

BTW I just ate a sandwich and 3 cookies!

And it's almost 1am in here! lol

Posted by Teena

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Teena
I think I'd actually blame myself if my guy cheats on me. N I said this on some other thread a year ago on dxp too. He maybe a serial cheater n yada yada....but I don't think that would stop me from blaming or questioning myself. I think I'll be more disappointed in me than the guy.

I have no experience on this fortunately.

This is why I was always on men side of the issues like it's all her fault...

So this is maybe the only area I am not going to include in my book. Lol

Because I haven't lived it.

However I am sure if he is a runner - you can be the best of all worlds - he will do his 'job' because he can.

It's not women's fault he is cheating but not hers she is letting him back to her bed.

?

I haven't been there either n I know what you're saying. I understand I may not be at fault to start with.But from what I know of myself, that is what I'd be contemplating..How did this happen n how did I let it. But for one thing, as stupid as it may sound, I know I can forgive a spouse who have cheated on me. One may say it's easy to say coz I haven't been there. But I know me.Unless he's emotionally invested in someone, I think I'll find reasons to keep him rather than letting go.

click to expand

I thought I could never forgive!

But I had changed my mind after child was born and I think it was indication of my possessive love declining.

Hard to say now. Been too long...lol

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by mission
You're dropping so much wisdom that I gotta ask, what's the real key to a prosperous marriage?

There isn't any!

As scary as it might sound to you there is no certificate of until death do us part!

You live. You do your best and you think you are going to be stable and happy forever.

All of subject flows. When you are younger you might laugh at those flows and never mind them.

You grow older and become more aware of things and these minor things you thought you can overcome - becoming an obstacles that starting to drive you up-a-wall! And you keep plugging trough because you said until death do us part.

But you can stretch only that far until it's snapped and gets broken. Though you sew it together. But the seem is there and it's rubbing you in all wrong places.

If there is no brick that falls on your head and wakes you up from your routine - you die miserable and warned out and if you are strong enough - everyone still believing that smile on your dead face is sign of happy life you had lived.

If you are 'lucky' to get hit by that brick - you turn around and think...what ya heck am I doing killing myself in a misery of my own existence—

And this is where it becomes a challenge.

And it's up to you. Ruin the old to build new...without ANY guarantee that new will be better!

one can only hope!

This is why being mature adult means before you ruin old - make sure new one IS going to BE better!

Again. Remember. There is no paper that guarantee you anything. Maybe life insurance...but it's a whole another story.

Lol

Thanks for the insight.

click to expand

Oh shut up tiz! Lol

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428

Posted by Gemitati
I want to ask those who were cheated on - have you ever though about why!

Have you ever maybe analyzed your part in this unfortunate happening?

Like maybe your partner would be much happier to not to cheat and be with you but you haven't listened to their pleadings and missed their hints and they become frustrated and did it!!!

I had never heard anyone said 'what have I done to make it happen?'

I'm going with age and immaturity at 21-25 and it takes a stronger person which was me. To leave so he can do whatever he wanted because it was no longer meaningful to me at all. It wasn't sex because we were compatible. But I wasn't compatible through sex once I kept figuring out he was still messing around.

So you have some Gemini in you? Lol

When we get hurt - there is no point of return for them! Good for you!

Hope things better since...

click to expand

The single life is best. And I'm willing to be patience. I will know when the time is to be more accepting and consider something serious.

I got more Aquarius and Libra placement and 2 Gemini placements. Lol I'm fixed dominant each and air. Which makes me cardinality. And I am still very excited and serious at the same time going with the flow.

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428

Posted by Gemitati
I want to ask those who were cheated on - have you ever though about why!

Have you ever maybe analyzed your part in this unfortunate happening?

Like maybe your partner would be much happier to not to cheat and be with you but you haven't listened to their pleadings and missed their hints and they become frustrated and did it!!!

I had never heard anyone said 'what have I done to make it happen?'

I'm going with age and immaturity at 21-25 and it takes a stronger person which was me. To leave so he can do whatever he wanted because it was no longer meaningful to me at all. It wasn't sex because we were compatible. But I wasn't compatible through sex once I kept figuring out he was still messing around.

So you have some Gemini in you? Lol

When we get hurt - there is no point of return for them! Good for you!

Hope things better since...

The single life is best. And I'm willing to be patience. I will know when the time is to be more accepting and consider something serious.

click to expand

Haha! Good luck!

We don't choose it! It sneaking up on you like SOB!

Posted by TaurusinTexas

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by TaurusinTexas

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by TaurusinTexas
Actually it's very common for ppl to cheat and say they were madly in love with their spouses and had sex regularly with them. Cheating is about the cheater, just as an FYI, it often stems from insecurity. So, let's not blame the person that was loyal to their partner for their partners weakness. Because no matter what the spouse did, they don't deserve to be cheated on - leave the marriage if you are that unhappy.

Never heard a cheater says they are madly in love with spouses and having great sex life!

It's a bullshit out of your ass!!!

If that's what helps you sleep at night, then you've got to believe what you've got to believe but there's a reason they don't leave their spouses and it has nothing to do with money or kids, it's because they love them and yes, they are nearly ALWAYS, still having sex with them, even if he tells you he's not, he still is.

And honestly pick up a book on adultery and the psychology of it, it will tell you that in chapter 1, geez SMH.

Trust me he tells me if he had sexy with his wife! Lol surprised?

It's just because we hardly see each other but talking daily.

I don't need psychology book. I am glad you read it!

Actually it doesn't surprise me at all, that he would tell you that - he wants to make sure you know your place and he wants to make certain his wife stays clueless because he has no intention of ever leaving her, he needs her.

click to expand

Well said.

Damn ? yo.......?

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by mission
You're dropping so much wisdom that I gotta ask, what's the real key to a prosperous marriage?

There isn't any!

As scary as it might sound to you there is no certificate of until death do us part!

You live. You do your best and you think you are going to be stable and happy forever.

All of subject flows. When you are younger you might laugh at those flows and never mind them.

You grow older and become more aware of things and these minor things you thought you can overcome - becoming an obstacles that starting to drive you up-a-wall! And you keep plugging trough because you said until death do us part.

But you can stretch only that far until it's snapped and gets broken. Though you sew it together. But the seem is there and it's rubbing you in all wrong places.

If there is no brick that falls on your head and wakes you up from your routine - you die miserable and warned out and if you are strong enough - everyone still believing that smile on your dead face is sign of happy life you had lived.

If you are 'lucky' to get hit by that brick - you turn around and think...what ya heck am I doing killing myself in a misery of my own existence—

And this is where it becomes a challenge.

And it's up to you. Ruin the old to build new...without ANY guarantee that new will be better!

one can only hope!

This is why being mature adult means before you ruin old - make sure new one IS going to BE better!

Again. Remember. There is no paper that guarantee you anything. Maybe life insurance...but it's a whole another story.

Lol

click to expand

Hey, as long as your husband is cool with it.

Posted by TaurusinTexas

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by TaurusinTexas

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by TaurusinTexas
Actually it's very common for ppl to cheat and say they were madly in love with their spouses and had sex regularly with them. Cheating is about the cheater, just as an FYI, it often stems from insecurity. So, let's not blame the person that was loyal to their partner for their partners weakness. Because no matter what the spouse did, they don't deserve to be cheated on - leave the marriage if you are that unhappy.

Never heard a cheater says they are madly in love with spouses and having great sex life!

It's a bullshit out of your ass!!!

If that's what helps you sleep at night, then you've got to believe what you've got to believe but there's a reason they don't leave their spouses and it has nothing to do with money or kids, it's because they love them and yes, they are nearly ALWAYS, still having sex with them, even if he tells you he's not, he still is.

And honestly pick up a book on adultery and the psychology of it, it will tell you that in chapter 1, geez SMH.

Trust me he tells me if he had sexy with his wife! Lol surprised?

It's just because we hardly see each other but talking daily.

I don't need psychology book. I am glad you read it!

Actually it doesn't surprise me at all, that he would tell you that - he wants to make sure you know your place and he wants to make certain his wife stays clueless because he has no intention of ever leaving her, he needs her.

click to expand

This

Posted by CAPRILICIOUS

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by TaurusinTexas
Actually it's very common for ppl to cheat and say they were madly in love with their spouses and had sex regularly with them. Cheating is about the cheater, just as an FYI, it often stems from insecurity. So, let's not blame the person that was loyal to their partner for their partners weakness. Because no matter what the spouse did, they don't deserve to be cheated on - leave the marriage if you are that unhappy.

Never heard a cheater says they are madly in love with spouses and having great sex life!

It's a bullshit out of your ass!!!

Please, Gemitati...you should do some research and find out the various reasons why people cheat in a relationship. It has nothing to do with one's partner.

And you must have heard this before... Everyone is responsible for their own actions!

click to expand

Is there anything useful written by a person who actually lived it?

I don't need to read opinion of some PhD

who had written a book TO become PhD!

We are what we are and I don't know anyone who would willingly get themselves into years of a heartache and mental turmoil just for fun of it!

Posted by halalbabe
As you are a cheater AND, on top of it, a homewrecker, you're capable of asking this question with a straight face—...

The fact that you're looking for an excuse to blame the victim in an attempt to enable your own shitty behavior, is evidence of a nasty streak of narcissism you have. You don't feel guilt nor shame. That's a serious character flaw you got to deal with

Damn, what the hell is going on in this thread? LOL I think I am missing something.

Posted by bumboklatt
The action of cheating is your responsibility. You're looking too much into getting the response you want.

That's an illusion.

Of course nothing is for sure in life but we are still responsible for our actions.

There is two sides two every story, but only one truth

Not nessesary.

There can be different interpretation of the same story because everyone understands it differently.

There are plenty of innocent people in jail aren't there?

Posted by bumboklatt

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by bumboklatt
The action of cheating is your responsibility. You're looking too much into getting the response you want.

That's an illusion.

Of course nothing is for sure in life but we are still responsible for our actions.

There is two sides two every story, but only one truth

Not nessesary.

There can be different interpretation of the same story because everyone understands it differently.

There are plenty of innocent people in jail aren't there?

Yes but again you're looking to get the answer you want

Innocent people in jail were imprisoned by others.

Cheating implies an offense while the other person was keeping the relationship together.

Its an offence that's why it's called cheating.

It's like breaking into someone's home and saying it was the owners fault for having unguarded windows

Yes maybe the owner is dumb but it's still an offense for breaking in

click to expand

Ok. I am to tired to fight. Just whatever you say.

Posted by Gem_from_Venus
OP, it's never the other person's fault you cheated. No matter how complicated, no matter what they have done. They are responsible for their actions and you for yours.

That said, all these 20 somethings who are judging you for making complex choices, whether wrong or not, are so naive they are ridiculous. Life isn't a fary tale. It won't be for any of you, so maybe wait and see what ify choices you end up making o'er the next 30 years.

I appreciate your response

But i would never wish my stuff upon anyone...though I know most people go as I am...they just aren't here. Lol

Thanks