how do you accept being taken care of in restaurants, accepting gifts, compliments, favors?

do any of you have trouble dealing with accepting favors, being paid for at the restaurants etc.?

isn't it true that when people do you favours they either try to get close to you or they make you feel you owe them? cynical, yes, but true right?

I have have a ton of people tell me in different ways that I insist too much on paying for things myself or splitting bills, it bothers!

Posted by ariessungoddess
do any of you have trouble dealing with accepting favors, being paid for at the restaurants etc.?

isn't it true that when people do you favours they either try to get close to you or they make you feel you owe them? cynical, yes, but true right?

I have have a ton of people tell me in different ways that I insist too much on paying for things myself or splitting bills, it bothers!

If it's new people then I'm pretty skeptical about it. If it's old friends then it's great.

Smh females nowadays when someone try to do nice things they think there's a hidden agenda and when you don't give or pay for shit you're a dick lol

This thread reminds me of the Jack Vale - Paranoid pranks.

Posted by ariessungoddess
do any of you have trouble dealing with accepting favors, being paid for at the restaurants etc.?

isn't it true that when people do you favours they either try to get close to you or they make you feel you owe them? cynical, yes, but true right?

I have have a ton of people tell me in different ways that I insist too much on paying for things myself or splitting bills, it bothers!

Or they just want to show you a good time.

At the beginning allow the guy to take the lead, plan the dates, and pay the bill. Once you get into a relationship it ends up being 50/50 in my experience.

Enjoy being courted.

I'll answer your question tho op I love paying for my own things but I'm also a giver but not to the point that I'm gonna let you take advantage of me and trust me I will know. And the only thing I hate are people who doesn't know how to say thank you or appreciate the small or big things I do for them other than that I will never ask for anything in return.

If a man who purchases your meal during a date makes you feel like you 'owe' him, it's either him acting sleepy or its your hangup. Your paying the person with the pleasure of your company. You don't 'owe' them anything further after the meal ends.

I grew up with a father who held every penny against me. Money was a tool to manipulate behavior. So I get where your coming from, but at the same time you need to work past it.

If I invite you out, I'm paying. That's just how I am. You don't owe me anything besides a thank you.

Posted by TheLibraMudra
Yea. My dude and I go round and round. I always try to pay or split. Like I have some thing about showing I make my own damn money too, ya know? Lol

Not sure if that's what you really mean...

yeah pretty much what I meant

Posted by Ssuperman
If I invite you out, I'm paying. That's just how I am. You don't owe me anything besides a thank you.

hmm interesting, this must be a social cue I've left out to notice

Posted by Stinger408scorp
Smh females nowadays when someone try to do nice things they think there's a hidden agenda and when you don't give or pay for shit you're a dick lol

hahaha sorry but the cautious few of us never let down our guard easily

Posted by ariessungoddess

Posted by Stinger408scorp
Smh females nowadays when someone try to do nice things they think there's a hidden agenda and when you don't give or pay for shit you're a dick lol

hahaha sorry but the cautious few of us never let down our guard easily

click to expand

Lol at the end of the day it's up to you to accept or reject but not everyone has a hidden agenda I'm living proof.

I have no problems accepting gifts. It's my love language.

Strangely, I have a problem accepting compliments. As a young girl, I would pout. Then, I was embarrassed. And finally now, I just stopped self-effacing after a compliment. People actually commented on my inability to accept compliments... which was more "embarrassing" than the compliment.

Posted by LadyNeptune
If a man who purchases your meal during a date makes you feel like you 'owe' him, it's either him acting sleepy or its your hangup. Your paying the person with the pleasure of your company. You don't 'owe' them anything further after the meal ends.

I grew up with a father who held every penny against me. Money was a tool to manipulate behavior. So I get where your coming from, but at the same time you need to work past it.

in a way this is justified, still, even in this case, there's gonna be the hitches like whether the "pleasure" of our company will be judged so there's a compulsion we should be entertaining? or that at some point they'll wonder if we're worth the money they spent on our date? thereby trivializing the experience?

I just wonder if it's my conservative chart placements or just woman's nature!

Posted by UnusualVaginalDischarge
I hate feeling like I owe somebody something. But I do know that there exist people who love to give. I have a hard time accepting gifts and compliments.

I used to be just like that.

Lately I am so tired to care so I go like - you want to pay? Go ahead. Pay. And I refuse to feel obligated.

I didn't ask you - you asked me out.

You insisted on paying - I did not ask for

It. Be responsible for your actions!

Easy to say and done! Try

Posted by ariessungoddess
do any of you have trouble dealing with accepting favors, being paid for at the restaurants etc.?

isn't it true that when people do you favours they either try to get close to you or they make you feel you owe them? cynical, yes, but true right?

I have have a ton of people tell me in different ways that I insist too much on paying for things myself or splitting bills, it bothers!

I usually want to pay so that I don't feel like I owe them anything, or I am returning their favor or trying to be thankful for their help. Intention is never to make them feel they owe me anything.

Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll

Posted by UnusualVaginalDischarge

Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll

Posted by UnusualVaginalDischarge

Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll

Posted by UnusualVaginalDischarge
I hate feeling like I owe somebody something. But I do know that there exist people who love to give. I have a hard time accepting gifts and compliments.

I think you're funny!

Here have this popcorn maker.......

lol that's pretty cool!

We can have popcorn everynight when we live together!

Yaasssss too bad i dont eat popcorn

Guuuuuurrrrrllllll! You are unbelievably picky! ?

What movie snack foods do you like?

click to expand

hey hey hey stop wooing her with your tacky pop corn maker! you're digressing from my thread! 😛

Posted by TheCanBull
I lead and i am carrying you so to speak.

So i pay, i treat you, i don't want anything in return materialistically.

ha now that sounds fun, you lead so you carry your woman-child in to the wonderful world of adult responsibilities? is British chivalry still this extreme?

I tend to end dates in an awkward stance when I insist on paying for myself. It's a subtle way of letting him know I am self sufficient, which ironically can be taken negatively. It took me a while to realize that men perceive it as a woman is not interested in them when she goes double Dutch. However, when a woman offers to pay it provides a different meaning. The gesture shows consideration of a man's finances on her part and by allowing the man to pay it shows an appreciation for his gesture of the date.

Although, regardless of who suggests the outing, I am always prepared to pay for myself.

Hahaha that one is really funny. If you don't want to feel someone's breathing on you try online dating (just for fun) , and if they initiate "taking care of you" why not? just let them lol.