sweetpea2977
@sweetpea2977
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Are you comfortable being groped in your relationship?
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I like it but not in public. NEVER in public. Cap rising don’t play that game.
Posted by Antiphates
Is it something you dislike in itself or is the amount and frequency that you don't like?
This is so new for me. I've never been in a relationship where a man is just touching me, rubbing me every time he passes or lays next to me to cuddle or take a nap. Everything isn't sexual. True intimacy goes beyond the sexual. So for me, I don't like it randomly done to me. The frequency or amount. We've been dating for 9 months. He's now starting this shit. He has begun complimenting me a lot too. I don't care for that either. When he said that I've changed, I told him that he has. Wondering if lust is beginning to outweigh the love.
Here's just one story: via Quora
Originally Answered: Is it ok for my boyfriend to touch me whenever he wants to?
Girl. I feel you, I FEEL YOU. I was seriously shocked I hadn't written this question myself and had to double check. There is nothing worse than being all relaxed on the couch after a hard day at work, ready to get your Pinterest on, when the claw comes out of nowhere to “fiddle the dials.” Or you are dozing so peacfully and suddenly your man pulls a reacharound and decide to pretend your boobs are dough that needs to be kneaded. I hate it, so much.
Okay here's the thing. Most hetero guys love all of our soft bouncy bits. They want to touch, bounce, and play with them. Which is cool, except for the fact that they're attached to our body. Same issue with my boyfriend. He didn't get that it actually HURT when he did some of those things, or that it was extremely fucking annoying to have my nipples played with when I'm trying to do something else.
After multiple conversations he still wasn't getting the picture. He thought I was over reactin. Society and porn had been telling him for years that girls boobs are to be played with, at that women thrust their bosoms forward in orgasmic exctasy when properly stimulate. What are my humdrum complaints going to do against THAT picture?
So what's a girl to do?
Balls.
These soft squishy penduluma were put on this eath to protect women from unwanted nipple pinches everywhere. They are vulnerable. They are weak. And in today's sweatpant society they are oh so exposed.
Flip them. Not hard, you aren’t aiming for pain, but the extremely uncomfortable experience of having a sensitive area constanl stimulated in a not so pleasant way. Hook a finger under them and make a quick “"come hither” motion with your finger. The balls will flip upwards and then bounce back down, not a painful feeling, but not a great one either.
Shocked the heck out of my boyfriend.
He demanded to know why I had started doing this. I spouted back everything he had said about playing with my boobs.
“What? It's fun!”
“Come on it doesn't hurt.”
“We’re dating! You're my man!”
“They're just so bouncy!”
Kept it up for a few days. Guess what my boyfriend doesn't do anymore?
That tip aside, if he REALLY continues to not respect your bundaries you need to have a serious talk with him about how uncomfortable it makes you feel. If he doesn't care, well then you know he doesn't care that you are upset and uncomfortable and what's the point in being with a man like that?
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Originally Answered: Is it ok for my boyfriend to touch me whenever he wants to?
Girl. I feel you, I FEEL YOU. I was seriously shocked I hadn't written this question myself and had to double check. There is nothing worse than being all relaxed on the couch after a hard day at work, ready to get your Pinterest on, when the claw comes out of nowhere to “fiddle the dials.” Or you are dozing so peacfully and suddenly your man pulls a reacharound and decide to pretend your boobs are dough that needs to be kneaded. I hate it, so much.
Okay here's the thing. Most hetero guys love all of our soft bouncy bits. They want to touch, bounce, and play with them. Which is cool, except for the fact that they're attached to our body. Same issue with my boyfriend. He didn't get that it actually HURT when he did some of those things, or that it was extremely fucking annoying to have my nipples played with when I'm trying to do something else.
After multiple conversations he still wasn't getting the picture. He thought I was over reactin. Society and porn had been telling him for years that girls boobs are to be played with, at that women thrust their bosoms forward in orgasmic exctasy when properly stimulate. What are my humdrum complaints going to do against THAT picture?
So what's a girl to do?
Balls.
These soft squishy penduluma were put on this eath to protect women from unwanted nipple pinches everywhere. They are vulnerable. They are weak. And in today's sweatpant society they are oh so exposed.
Flip them. Not hard, you aren’t aiming for pain, but the extremely uncomfortable experience of having a sensitive area constanl stimulated in a not so pleasant way. Hook a finger under them and make a quick “"come hither” motion with your finger. The balls will flip upwards and then bounce back down, not a painful feeling, but not a great one either.
Shocked the heck out of my boyfriend.
He demanded to know why I had started doing this. I spouted back everything he had said about playing with my boobs.
“What? It's fun!”
“Come on it doesn't hurt.”
“We’re dating! You're my man!”
“They're just so bouncy!”
Kept it up for a few days. Guess what my boyfriend doesn't do anymore?
That tip aside, if he REALLY continues to not respect your bundaries you need to have a serious talk with him about how uncomfortable it makes you feel. If he doesn't care, well then you know he doesn't care that you are upset and uncomfortable and what's the point in being with a man like that?
71.2k views · View Upvoters · View Sharers
I like to touch and be touched. Groping sounds a bit vulgare though, only acceptable in a sexual context.
Posted by sweetpea2977
Do you have a man who grabs your breast or ass randomly, when he walks by you, while you're sleeping, in front of guests, in public places, throughout the day etc?
How do you feel about that?
Had a chat with my partner about this last week as I noticed he's begun doing this daily. I don't like it. Told him. He's offended. I don't care. He's quiet and distant now. He says that my love for him has changed. It hasn't but I reminded him that we didn't meet on a sexual note, so to now begin objectifying me is a turn off and un-welcomed. Our intimacy is great, but groping isn't. What is the point of grabbing on me if we're cuddling, napping, relaxing etc. It doesn't make sense to me. Asked myself, "Is it you?" Did a little googling. This is a problem with MANY girlfriends and wives. Husbands and boyfriends are fondling their women's breasts while they're asleep. Some can't even sleep without doing it. Then there are other men, who just refuse to stop. SMH
Aw man I wish I had the time to kick back and read this.
It used to happen to me with my ex Gemini. I used to call him the 1-2-3 man. His hands were either fondling my boobs, ass, or kitty while I was trying to get sleep. I’m a light sleeper so it woke me up. I could be exhausted and he wouldn’t let me sleep cause I would wake up every time he did it throughout the night. It was like his form of cuddling.
It got so bad that after trying to talk to him about it and him not stopping, I basically just used to karate chop his hand extra hard. (Yes I was hitting him) it would wake me up, I’d be furious and yell at him and the be aggressive in getting his hands off me.
He didn’t even care. There was no way that I could stop him. Till this day when he sees me he tries to touch me and I have to maneuver away from him. He has a girlfriend and still can’t help himself. I had to stop giving him hugs or any type of greeting upon running into each other.
I never found a solution for it.
In public he just grabbed my ass a lot but I used to grab his too. I didn’t mind a quick grab saying hello or a quick tap.
It got so bad that after trying to talk to him about it and him not stopping, I basically just used to karate chop his hand extra hard. (Yes I was hitting him) it would wake me up, I’d be furious and yell at him and the be aggressive in getting his hands off me.
He didn’t even care. There was no way that I could stop him. Till this day when he sees me he tries to touch me and I have to maneuver away from him. He has a girlfriend and still can’t help himself. I had to stop giving him hugs or any type of greeting upon running into each other.
I never found a solution for it.
In public he just grabbed my ass a lot but I used to grab his too. I didn’t mind a quick grab saying hello or a quick tap.
Man this is a tough one. I can definitely understand the feeling.... sometimes someone touches you so much, and weird times that it is a big turn off. I mean, I’m pretty touchy feely, but I try to think about when I’m doing it. Some men don’t care what you’re doing, it’s all about their desires so you’re changing, for instance, and he makes a comment or grabs you. I tend to touch my mans bum a lot so I try to allow some return grab age as long as it doesn’t go overboard. Generally I can give a guy a look when he’s done something I don’t like, and they get it and try not to do it again. Not everyone wants to be grabbed all the time. I try to keep that in mind myself. But yes, I detest someone who is constantly grabbing on me oblivious of how it makes me feel!! Generally, I kind of expect it in a relationship but I make sure to communicate any uncomfortability, whether with words or not.
Posted by saggurl88
It used to happen to me with my ex Gemini. I used to call him the 1-2-3 man. His hands were either fondling my boobs, ass, or kitty while I was trying to get sleep. I’m a light sleeper so it woke me up. I could be exhausted and he wouldn’t let me sleep cause I would wake up every time he did it throughout the night. It was like his form of cuddling.
It got so bad that after trying to talk to him about it and him not stopping, I basically just used to karate chop his hand extra hard. (Yes I was hitting him) it would wake me up, I’d be furious and yell at him and the be aggressive in getting his hands off me.
He didn’t even care. There was no way that I could stop him. Till this day when he sees me he tries to touch me and I have to maneuver away from him. He has a girlfriend and still can’t help himself. I had to stop giving him hugs or any type of greeting upon running into each other.
I never found a solution for it.
In public he just grabbed my ass a lot but I used to grab his too. I didn’t mind a quick grab saying hello or a quick tap.
He's guilty of sexual assault. Glad you got away from him.
Posted by AbbyNormal
Man this is a tough one. I can definitely understand the feeling.... sometimes someone touches you so much, and weird times that it is a big turn off. I mean, I’m pretty touchy feely, but I try to think about when I’m doing it. Some men don’t care what you’re doing, it’s all about their desires so you’re changing, for instance, and he makes a comment or grabs you. I tend to touch my mans bum a lot so I try to allow some return grab age as long as it doesn’t go overboard. Generally I can give a guy a look when he’s done something I don’t like, and they get it and try not to do it again. Not everyone wants to be grabbed all the time. I try to keep that in mind myself. But yes, I detest someone who is constantly grabbing on me oblivious of how it makes me feel!! Generally, I kind of expect it in a relationship but I make sure to communicate any uncomfortability, whether with words or not.
It can really, really get out of control. Glad they understood the look.
Posted by Undine
I like to touch and be touched. Groping sounds a bit vulgare though, only acceptable in a sexual context.
Groping is vulgar when it's unwanted.
Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88
It used to happen to me with my ex Gemini. I used to call him the 1-2-3 man. His hands were either fondling my boobs, ass, or kitty while I was trying to get sleep. I’m a light sleeper so it woke me up. I could be exhausted and he wouldn’t let me sleep cause I would wake up every time he did it throughout the night. It was like his form of cuddling.
It got so bad that after trying to talk to him about it and him not stopping, I basically just used to karate chop his hand extra hard. (Yes I was hitting him) it would wake me up, I’d be furious and yell at him and the be aggressive in getting his hands off me.
He didn’t even care. There was no way that I could stop him. Till this day when he sees me he tries to touch me and I have to maneuver away from him. He has a girlfriend and still can’t help himself. I had to stop giving him hugs or any type of greeting upon running into each other.
I never found a solution for it.
In public he just grabbed my ass a lot but I used to grab his too. I didn’t mind a quick grab saying hello or a quick tap.
He's guilty of sexual assault. Glad you got away from him.click to expand
As you can see it’s just something guys do and is pretty common. I didn’t think of it as assault. I was assaulting him right back anyways.
But the flipping balls thing is interesting lol. I probably would have tried that.
Him doing that had nothing to do with me leaving him. That wasn’t even a reason that I thought about when processing the break up. I was so conditioned to it, it was normal.
Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88
It used to happen to me with my ex Gemini. I used to call him the 1-2-3 man. His hands were either fondling my boobs, ass, or kitty while I was trying to get sleep. I’m a light sleeper so it woke me up. I could be exhausted and he wouldn’t let me sleep cause I would wake up every time he did it throughout the night. It was like his form of cuddling.
It got so bad that after trying to talk to him about it and him not stopping, I basically just used to karate chop his hand extra hard. (Yes I was hitting him) it would wake me up, I’d be furious and yell at him and the be aggressive in getting his hands off me.
He didn’t even care. There was no way that I could stop him. Till this day when he sees me he tries to touch me and I have to maneuver away from him. He has a girlfriend and still can’t help himself. I had to stop giving him hugs or any type of greeting upon running into each other.
I never found a solution for it.
In public he just grabbed my ass a lot but I used to grab his too. I didn’t mind a quick grab saying hello or a quick tap.
He's guilty of sexual assault. Glad you got away from him.
As you can see it’s just something guys do and is pretty common. I didn’t think of it as assault. I was assaulting him right back anyways.
But the flipping balls thing is interesting lol. I probably would have tried that.
Him doing that had nothing to do with me leaving him. That wasn’t even a reason that I thought about when processing the break up. I was so conditioned to it, it was normal.click to expand
It was assault nevertheless. We can agree to disagree on that respectfully.
You were conditioned. That can happen.
Some men are conditioned too, to believe that they can touch what they want, when they want. There are consequences though, especially when it's done outside of a relationship. IE Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, and the like.
Posted by Phantum
Oy.
I like to be touched by my husband. I would hate for him to have to ask permission to touch my butt or something. When he does it in public it's usually sly and like a little secret between us. He always stops if I don't want him to do it.
It's good that he's willing to stop if you're not wanting that kind of attention. That's respectful 🙂
Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88
It used to happen to me with my ex Gemini. I used to call him the 1-2-3 man. His hands were either fondling my boobs, ass, or kitty while I was trying to get sleep. I’m a light sleeper so it woke me up. I could be exhausted and he wouldn’t let me sleep cause I would wake up every time he did it throughout the night. It was like his form of cuddling.
It got so bad that after trying to talk to him about it and him not stopping, I basically just used to karate chop his hand extra hard. (Yes I was hitting him) it would wake me up, I’d be furious and yell at him and the be aggressive in getting his hands off me.
He didn’t even care. There was no way that I could stop him. Till this day when he sees me he tries to touch me and I have to maneuver away from him. He has a girlfriend and still can’t help himself. I had to stop giving him hugs or any type of greeting upon running into each other.
I never found a solution for it.
In public he just grabbed my ass a lot but I used to grab his too. I didn’t mind a quick grab saying hello or a quick tap.
He's guilty of sexual assault. Glad you got away from him.
As you can see it’s just something guys do and is pretty common. I didn’t think of it as assault. I was assaulting him right back anyways.
But the flipping balls thing is interesting lol. I probably would have tried that.
Him doing that had nothing to do with me leaving him. That wasn’t even a reason that I thought about when processing the break up. I was so conditioned to it, it was normal.
It was assault nevertheless. We can agree to disagree on that respectfully.
You were conditioned. That can happen.
Some men are conditioned too, to believe that they can touch what they want, when they want. There are consequences though, especially when it's done outside of a relationship. IE Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, and the like.click to expand
Well of course outside of a relationship, but inside of a relationship seems to be more acceptable of the behavior. There probably are some people who like it or don’t mind it.
I guess there just needs to be more solutions for getting it to stop when the girl doesn’t like it.
So it should be talked about and try to get worked through.
The gist I get from your posts is that most of this happens in "private" which I think is OK, you are in a relationship. If its happening out in public then yeah I am not to fond of that myself (dependant on the groping and where)
buttttt........
I BET, in two months time you back posting about how your guy has cheated on you :-)
A boyfriend touching you and you scream assault, will lead you down a very lonely path.
buttttt........
I BET, in two months time you back posting about how your guy has cheated on you :-)
A boyfriend touching you and you scream assault, will lead you down a very lonely path.
i dont mind it but not in public thats disrespectful
Posted by PhantumPosted by sweetpea2977Posted by Phantum
Oy.
I like to be touched by my husband. I would hate for him to have to ask permission to touch my butt or something. When he does it in public it's usually sly and like a little secret between us. He always stops if I don't want him to do it.
It's good that he's willing to stop if you're not wanting that kind of attention. That's respectful 🙂
Does your partner not stop when you ask?
If you don't like for cuddling or other touching to lead to sex, how do you guys get to sex?click to expand
I haven't asked him to stop but there have been times when I'll lay down to cuddle and relax and he'll ask me why I haven't removed my bra. That's my answer at times. He's been putting a lot of focus on my breasts and my face/hair for about 3 weeks now.
He and I will make love by kissing usually. But! There are many, many times, we kiss and cuddle without getting into sex or being naked. One of my love languages is affection, but because I'm sapio it's different for me.
Posted by AntiphatesPosted by sweetpea2977Posted by Antiphates
Is it something you dislike in itself or is the amount and frequency that you don't like?
This is so new for me. I've never been in a relationship where a man is just touching me, rubbing me every time he passes or lays next to me to cuddle or take a nap. Everything isn't sexual. True intimacy goes beyond the sexual. So for me, I don't like it randomly done to me. The frequency or amount. We've been dating for 9 months. He's now starting this shit. He has begun complimenting me a lot too. I don't care for that either. When he said that I've changed, I told him that he has. Wondering if lust is beginning to outweigh the love.
In that case the route should be a clear and easy one. You don't like it and it's something he should respect.
He either can live without it or not. If not the relationship might be in danger.
Assuming it's just a display of affection there might be negotiable middleground like a tap on the butt as greeting or something similiar but that still would be something you would need to be okay with.click to expand
The relationship is already in danger. I'm making peace with that.
Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
The gist I get from your posts is that most of this happens in "private" which I think is OK, you are in a relationship. If its happening out in public then yeah I am not to fond of that myself (dependant on the groping and where)
buttttt........
I BET, in two months time you back posting about how your guy has cheated on you :-)
A boyfriend touching you and you scream assault, will lead you down a very lonely path.
Listen, you may allow people to do whatever the fuck they want to do to your body, however and whenever they want. Not me. This is MY body. Mine. I have boundaries and standards. Relationship or NOT. Ok! If the first 8 months you haven't been doing that shit and our relationship isn't based on fucking and groping, why start that shit now? To hell with that. I'm not on this earth to satisfy anyone but myself. Additionally, I've rarely been cheated on. I'm quick to throw a man away. That's the sapio in me. I didn't say we don't touch. We are VERY intimate and have a STRONG connection, but groping me is NOT what I want. That's too common. Period. You've pissed me off w your stupid ass comment.
Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by PhantumPosted by sweetpea2977Posted by Phantum
Oy.
I like to be touched by my husband. I would hate for him to have to ask permission to touch my butt or something. When he does it in public it's usually sly and like a little secret between us. He always stops if I don't want him to do it.
It's good that he's willing to stop if you're not wanting that kind of attention. That's respectful 🙂
Does your partner not stop when you ask?
If you don't like for cuddling or other touching to lead to sex, how do you guys get to sex?
I haven't asked him to stop but there have been times when I'll lay down to cuddle and relax and he'll ask me why I haven't removed my bra. That's my answer at times. He's been putting a lot of focus on my breasts and my face/hair for about 3 weeks now.
He and I will make love by kissing usually. But! There are many, many times, we kiss and cuddle without getting into sex or being naked. One of my love languages is affection, but because I'm sapio it's different for me.click to expand
You should have a talk with him. Him caressing your hair or face is a usual sign of a man in love. He is probably aware that for women to be completely relaxed, they usually take off their bra.
I’m not familiar with what sapio is, but if you think this is crossing boundaries that you have in place, then it will cause issues in your relationship.
Both men and women want to feel wanted. He’s doing it his way, while showing you affection but it’s not being received well by you.
So just have a talk with him, maybe keep the harsh sexual assault stuff to a limit though. 🙂
Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
The gist I get from your posts is that most of this happens in "private" which I think is OK, you are in a relationship. If its happening out in public then yeah I am not to fond of that myself (dependant on the groping and where)
buttttt........
I BET, in two months time you back posting about how your guy has cheated on you :-)
A boyfriend touching you and you scream assault, will lead you down a very lonely path.
If a guy cheats based on the excuse that she wasn’t comfortable with him being handsy then he was gonna cheat irregardless.
If I'm in a relationship I expect my man to want to touch me randomly. It is a turn on.
Now, I've never had a guy fondle me in the middle of the night while I was sleeping(that I know of), and I don't like when they go for the nipples. I also don't like it when they smack my ass to hard when I'm not expecting it. But for the most part guys have been respectful of my body.
As far as public. If it is done on the sly, and not out in the obvious open in front of friends or family, it is sexy.
Now, I've never had a guy fondle me in the middle of the night while I was sleeping(that I know of), and I don't like when they go for the nipples. I also don't like it when they smack my ass to hard when I'm not expecting it. But for the most part guys have been respectful of my body.
As far as public. If it is done on the sly, and not out in the obvious open in front of friends or family, it is sexy.
I do the groping it’s 2020
Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88
It used to happen to me with my ex Gemini. I used to call him the 1-2-3 man. His hands were either fondling my boobs, ass, or kitty while I was trying to get sleep. I’m a light sleeper so it woke me up. I could be exhausted and he wouldn’t let me sleep cause I would wake up every time he did it throughout the night. It was like his form of cuddling.
It got so bad that after trying to talk to him about it and him not stopping, I basically just used to karate chop his hand extra hard. (Yes I was hitting him) it would wake me up, I’d be furious and yell at him and the be aggressive in getting his hands off me.
He didn’t even care. There was no way that I could stop him. Till this day when he sees me he tries to touch me and I have to maneuver away from him. He has a girlfriend and still can’t help himself. I had to stop giving him hugs or any type of greeting upon running into each other.
I never found a solution for it.
In public he just grabbed my ass a lot but I used to grab his too. I didn’t mind a quick grab saying hello or a quick tap.
He's guilty of sexual assault. Glad you got away from him.
As you can see it’s just something guys do and is pretty common. I didn’t think of it as assault. I was assaulting him right back anyways.
But the flipping balls thing is interesting lol. I probably would have tried that.
Him doing that had nothing to do with me leaving him. That wasn’t even a reason that I thought about when processing the break up. I was so conditioned to it, it was normal.
It was assault nevertheless. We can agree to disagree on that respectfully.
You were conditioned. That can happen.
Some men are conditioned too, to believe that they can touch what they want, when they want. There are consequences though, especially when it's done outside of a relationship. IE Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, and the like.
Well of course outside of a relationship, but inside of a relationship seems to be more acceptable of the behavior. There probably are some people who like it or don’t mind it.
I guess there just needs to be more solutions for getting it to stop when the girl doesn’t like it.
So it should be talked about and try to get worked through.click to expand
Let me be clear. I think there's slight confusion. I like my breasts touched by the man that I love. Kissed. Sucked. What I'm saying is that I don't want that everyday, all the time, throughout the day. Lately he's been doing it every damn day, like my breasts are toys. They're not.
Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88
It used to happen to me with my ex Gemini. I used to call him the 1-2-3 man. His hands were either fondling my boobs, ass, or kitty while I was trying to get sleep. I’m a light sleeper so it woke me up. I could be exhausted and he wouldn’t let me sleep cause I would wake up every time he did it throughout the night. It was like his form of cuddling.
It got so bad that after trying to talk to him about it and him not stopping, I basically just used to karate chop his hand extra hard. (Yes I was hitting him) it would wake me up, I’d be furious and yell at him and the be aggressive in getting his hands off me.
He didn’t even care. There was no way that I could stop him. Till this day when he sees me he tries to touch me and I have to maneuver away from him. He has a girlfriend and still can’t help himself. I had to stop giving him hugs or any type of greeting upon running into each other.
I never found a solution for it.
In public he just grabbed my ass a lot but I used to grab his too. I didn’t mind a quick grab saying hello or a quick tap.
He's guilty of sexual assault. Glad you got away from him.
As you can see it’s just something guys do and is pretty common. I didn’t think of it as assault. I was assaulting him right back anyways.
But the flipping balls thing is interesting lol. I probably would have tried that.
Him doing that had nothing to do with me leaving him. That wasn’t even a reason that I thought about when processing the break up. I was so conditioned to it, it was normal.
It was assault nevertheless. We can agree to disagree on that respectfully.
You were conditioned. That can happen.
Some men are conditioned too, to believe that they can touch what they want, when they want. There are consequences though, especially when it's done outside of a relationship. IE Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, and the like.
Well of course outside of a relationship, but inside of a relationship seems to be more acceptable of the behavior. There probably are some people who like it or don’t mind it.
I guess there just needs to be more solutions for getting it to stop when the girl doesn’t like it.
So it should be talked about and try to get worked through.
Let me be clear. I think there's slight confusion. I like my breasts touched by the man that I love. Kissed. Sucked. What I'm saying is that I don't want that everyday, all the time, throughout the day. Lately he's been doing it every damn day, like my breasts are toys. They're not.click to expand
Have a talk with him. Is there a reason why you have gotten around to it yet? He won’t know what he’s doing wrong if you don’t and he’s creating a habit out of it as well. So it’s best to try and break it, especially if it’s causing you discomfort.
I had no questions about the intimacy that you shared. Clearly he likes it, because he’s being even more affectionate with you. I was only addressing the unwanted attention.
Are you ok with the face/ hair touches?
When I read that, my mind went to facial hair caresses lol
Hopefully you can get things cleared up and back on track. This can be minor as long as you let him know you aren’t feeling the new habit he’s picking up. I didn’t have a discussion with my ex. But it didn’t bug me in the beginning of our relationship. It bugged me after 15 years or so.
Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by PhantumPosted by sweetpea2977Posted by Phantum
Oy.
I like to be touched by my husband. I would hate for him to have to ask permission to touch my butt or something. When he does it in public it's usually sly and like a little secret between us. He always stops if I don't want him to do it.
It's good that he's willing to stop if you're not wanting that kind of attention. That's respectful 🙂
Does your partner not stop when you ask?
If you don't like for cuddling or other touching to lead to sex, how do you guys get to sex?
I haven't asked him to stop but there have been times when I'll lay down to cuddle and relax and he'll ask me why I haven't removed my bra. That's my answer at times. He's been putting a lot of focus on my breasts and my face/hair for about 3 weeks now.
He and I will make love by kissing usually. But! There are many, many times, we kiss and cuddle without getting into sex or being naked. One of my love languages is affection, but because I'm sapio it's different for me.
You should have a talk with him. Him caressing your hair or face is a usual sign of a man in love. He is probably aware that for women to be completely relaxed, they usually take off their bra.
I’m not familiar with what sapio is, but if you think this is crossing boundaries that you have in place, then it will cause issues in your relationship.
Both men and women want to feel wanted. He’s doing it his way, while showing you affection but it’s not being received well by you.
So just have a talk with him, maybe keep the harsh sexual assault stuff to a limit though. 🙂click to expand
I never mentioned sexual assault to him. I simply explained that I noticed his attention to my breasts, and that it feels like groping, and it wasn't necessary. He caresses my face, hair, hands, feet, back, every damn place lol Very loving and sensual. But I don't want to be caught off guard because you can't keep your hands off my breast for a day. This man has given me orgasms just through a kiss to my lips or my breasts. As good as that feels, I still don't want my breasts touched every day. Just as I wouldn't walk up to him and grab his penis/scrotum or ass everyday. It's just not who I am. He's been showing great affection since we fell in love. Not sure why talking w him about this has him feeling like I've rejected him. It's crazy. I'm done talking. He knows how much I love him and how my body responds to him but even with all the passion I have for him, I respect his body.
Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
The gist I get from your posts is that most of this happens in "private" which I think is OK, you are in a relationship. If its happening out in public then yeah I am not to fond of that myself (dependant on the groping and where)
buttttt........
I BET, in two months time you back posting about how your guy has cheated on you :-)
A boyfriend touching you and you scream assault, will lead you down a very lonely path.
If a guy cheats based on the excuse that she wasn’t comfortable with him being handsy then he was gonna cheat irregardless.click to expand
Exactly!
That's the line that pissed me off. Wtf. Men cheat because they want to. It's that simple.
Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by PhantumPosted by sweetpea2977Posted by Phantum
Oy.
I like to be touched by my husband. I would hate for him to have to ask permission to touch my butt or something. When he does it in public it's usually sly and like a little secret between us. He always stops if I don't want him to do it.
It's good that he's willing to stop if you're not wanting that kind of attention. That's respectful 🙂
Does your partner not stop when you ask?
If you don't like for cuddling or other touching to lead to sex, how do you guys get to sex?
I haven't asked him to stop but there have been times when I'll lay down to cuddle and relax and he'll ask me why I haven't removed my bra. That's my answer at times. He's been putting a lot of focus on my breasts and my face/hair for about 3 weeks now.
He and I will make love by kissing usually. But! There are many, many times, we kiss and cuddle without getting into sex or being naked. One of my love languages is affection, but because I'm sapio it's different for me.
You should have a talk with him. Him caressing your hair or face is a usual sign of a man in love. He is probably aware that for women to be completely relaxed, they usually take off their bra.
I’m not familiar with what sapio is, but if you think this is crossing boundaries that you have in place, then it will cause issues in your relationship.
Both men and women want to feel wanted. He’s doing it his way, while showing you affection but it’s not being received well by you.
So just have a talk with him, maybe keep the harsh sexual assault stuff to a limit though. 🙂
I never mentioned sexual assault to him. I simply explained that I noticed his attention to my breasts, and that it feels like groping, and it wasn't necessary. He caresses my face, hair, hands, feet, back, every damn place lol Very loving and sensual. But I don't want to be caught off guard because you can't keep your hands off my breast for a day. This man has given me orgasms just through a kiss to my lips or my breasts. As good as that feels, I still don't want my breasts touched every day. Just as I wouldn't walk up to him and grab his penis/scrotum or ass everyday. It's just not who I am. He's been showing great affection since we fell in love. Not sure why talking w him about this has him feeling like I've rejected him. It's crazy. I'm done talking. He knows how much I love him and how my body responds to him but even with all the passion I have for him, I respect his body.click to expand
Maybe he will come around. He has to come with grips that you don’t like what he’s doing on a consistent basis. It will just take open communication and compromise which you have started. As you can see, since you googled/researched it, it’s a pretty common thing in a relationship.
His feelings are just hurt right now. He’ll get over it.
Posted by AntiphatesPosted by sweetpea2977Posted by AntiphatesPosted by sweetpea2977Posted by Antiphates
Is it something you dislike in itself or is the amount and frequency that you don't like?
This is so new for me. I've never been in a relationship where a man is just touching me, rubbing me every time he passes or lays next to me to cuddle or take a nap. Everything isn't sexual. True intimacy goes beyond the sexual. So for me, I don't like it randomly done to me. The frequency or amount. We've been dating for 9 months. He's now starting this shit. He has begun complimenting me a lot too. I don't care for that either. When he said that I've changed, I told him that he has. Wondering if lust is beginning to outweigh the love.
In that case the route should be a clear and easy one. You don't like it and it's something he should respect.
He either can live without it or not. If not the relationship might be in danger.
Assuming it's just a display of affection there might be negotiable middleground like a tap on the butt as greeting or something similiar but that still would be something you would need to be okay with.
The relationship is already in danger. I'm making peace with that.
If you two are already at this stage you might as well just speed up the process.click to expand
He's not talking much. I told him that he's functioning through his ego now. I don't chase people. I won't chase him. The chips will fall where they may.
Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88
It used to happen to me with my ex Gemini. I used to call him the 1-2-3 man. His hands were either fondling my boobs, ass, or kitty while I was trying to get sleep. I’m a light sleeper so it woke me up. I could be exhausted and he wouldn’t let me sleep cause I would wake up every time he did it throughout the night. It was like his form of cuddling.
It got so bad that after trying to talk to him about it and him not stopping, I basically just used to karate chop his hand extra hard. (Yes I was hitting him) it would wake me up, I’d be furious and yell at him and the be aggressive in getting his hands off me.
He didn’t even care. There was no way that I could stop him. Till this day when he sees me he tries to touch me and I have to maneuver away from him. He has a girlfriend and still can’t help himself. I had to stop giving him hugs or any type of greeting upon running into each other.
I never found a solution for it.
In public he just grabbed my ass a lot but I used to grab his too. I didn’t mind a quick grab saying hello or a quick tap.
He's guilty of sexual assault. Glad you got away from him.
As you can see it’s just something guys do and is pretty common. I didn’t think of it as assault. I was assaulting him right back anyways.
But the flipping balls thing is interesting lol. I probably would have tried that.
Him doing that had nothing to do with me leaving him. That wasn’t even a reason that I thought about when processing the break up. I was so conditioned to it, it was normal.
It was assault nevertheless. We can agree to disagree on that respectfully.
You were conditioned. That can happen.
Some men are conditioned too, to believe that they can touch what they want, when they want. There are consequences though, especially when it's done outside of a relationship. IE Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, and the like.
Well of course outside of a relationship, but inside of a relationship seems to be more acceptable of the behavior. There probably are some people who like it or don’t mind it.
I guess there just needs to be more solutions for getting it to stop when the girl doesn’t like it.
So it should be talked about and try to get worked through.
Let me be clear. I think there's slight confusion. I like my breasts touched by the man that I love. Kissed. Sucked. What I'm saying is that I don't want that everyday, all the time, throughout the day. Lately he's been doing it every damn day, like my breasts are toys. They're not.
Have a talk with him. Is there a reason why you have gotten around to it yet? He won’t know what he’s doing wrong if you don’t and he’s creating a habit out of it as well. So it’s best to try and break it, especially if it’s causing you discomfort.
I had no questions about the intimacy that you shared. Clearly he likes it, because he’s being even more affectionate with you. I was only addressing the unwanted attention.
Are you ok with the face/ hair touches?
When I read that, my mind went to facial hair caresses lol
Hopefully you can get things cleared up and back on track. This can be minor as long as you let him know you aren’t feeling the new habit he’s picking up. I didn’t have a discussion with my ex. But it didn’t bug me in the beginning of our relationship. It bugged me after 15 years or so.click to expand
During this same week, I chose not to see him for a few days. He loves to be in my presence everyday which is a whole new topic lol He didn't care for me taking a break. Between that and my issue with this new fetish, he claims that my love has changed. It hasn't but he's sticking to that. He doesn't want to talk because to him, "He doesn't know what to say." Nothing I can do.
Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by PhantumPosted by sweetpea2977Posted by Phantum
Oy.
I like to be touched by my husband. I would hate for him to have to ask permission to touch my butt or something. When he does it in public it's usually sly and like a little secret between us. He always stops if I don't want him to do it.
It's good that he's willing to stop if you're not wanting that kind of attention. That's respectful 🙂
Does your partner not stop when you ask?
If you don't like for cuddling or other touching to lead to sex, how do you guys get to sex?
I haven't asked him to stop but there have been times when I'll lay down to cuddle and relax and he'll ask me why I haven't removed my bra. That's my answer at times. He's been putting a lot of focus on my breasts and my face/hair for about 3 weeks now.
He and I will make love by kissing usually. But! There are many, many times, we kiss and cuddle without getting into sex or being naked. One of my love languages is affection, but because I'm sapio it's different for me.
You should have a talk with him. Him caressing your hair or face is a usual sign of a man in love. He is probably aware that for women to be completely relaxed, they usually take off their bra.
I’m not familiar with what sapio is, but if you think this is crossing boundaries that you have in place, then it will cause issues in your relationship.
Both men and women want to feel wanted. He’s doing it his way, while showing you affection but it’s not being received well by you.
So just have a talk with him, maybe keep the harsh sexual assault stuff to a limit though. 🙂
I never mentioned sexual assault to him. I simply explained that I noticed his attention to my breasts, and that it feels like groping, and it wasn't necessary. He caresses my face, hair, hands, feet, back, every damn place lol Very loving and sensual. But I don't want to be caught off guard because you can't keep your hands off my breast for a day. This man has given me orgasms just through a kiss to my lips or my breasts. As good as that feels, I still don't want my breasts touched every day. Just as I wouldn't walk up to him and grab his penis/scrotum or ass everyday. It's just not who I am. He's been showing great affection since we fell in love. Not sure why talking w him about this has him feeling like I've rejected him. It's crazy. I'm done talking. He knows how much I love him and how my body responds to him but even with all the passion I have for him, I respect his body.
Maybe he will come around. He has to come with grips that you don’t like what he’s doing on a consistent basis. It will just take open communication and compromise which you have started. As you can see, since you googled/researched it, it’s a pretty common thing in a relationship.
His feelings are just hurt right now. He’ll get over it.click to expand
Yes, he's hurt. So am I. But I won't force myself on him. Not sure he'll get over it. I'm already making peace with the fact that he may not.
Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
The gist I get from your posts is that most of this happens in "private" which I think is OK, you are in a relationship. If its happening out in public then yeah I am not to fond of that myself (dependant on the groping and where)
buttttt........
I BET, in two months time you back posting about how your guy has cheated on you :-)
A boyfriend touching you and you scream assault, will lead you down a very lonely path.
If a guy cheats based on the excuse that she wasn’t comfortable with him being handsy then he was gonna cheat irregardless.click to expand
Agree
Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
The gist I get from your posts is that most of this happens in "private" which I think is OK, you are in a relationship. If its happening out in public then yeah I am not to fond of that myself (dependant on the groping and where)
buttttt........
I BET, in two months time you back posting about how your guy has cheated on you :-)
A boyfriend touching you and you scream assault, will lead you down a very lonely path.
Listen, you may allow people to do whatever the fuck they want to do to your body, however and whenever they want. Not me. This is MY body. Mine. I have boundaries and standards. Relationship or NOT. Ok! If the first 8 months you haven't been doing that shit and our relationship isn't based on fucking and groping, why start that shit now? To hell with that. I'm not on this earth to satisfy anyone but myself. Additionally, I've rarely been cheated on. I'm quick to throw a man away. That's the sapio in me. I didn't say we don't touch. We are VERY intimate and have a STRONG connection, but groping me is NOT what I want. That's too common. Period. You've pissed me off w your stupid ass comment.click to expand
Lol so break up with him. Instead of googling my boyfriend groped me in his sleep. Or coming here to tell woman who are "touched" by their boyfriends that they are being assaulted.
Posted by AntiphatesPosted by sweetpea2977Posted by AntiphatesPosted by sweetpea2977Posted by AntiphatesPosted by sweetpea2977Posted by Antiphates
Is it something you dislike in itself or is the amount and frequency that you don't like?
This is so new for me. I've never been in a relationship where a man is just touching me, rubbing me every time he passes or lays next to me to cuddle or take a nap. Everything isn't sexual. True intimacy goes beyond the sexual. So for me, I don't like it randomly done to me. The frequency or amount. We've been dating for 9 months. He's now starting this shit. He has begun complimenting me a lot too. I don't care for that either. When he said that I've changed, I told him that he has. Wondering if lust is beginning to outweigh the love.
In that case the route should be a clear and easy one. You don't like it and it's something he should respect.
He either can live without it or not. If not the relationship might be in danger.
Assuming it's just a display of affection there might be negotiable middleground like a tap on the butt as greeting or something similiar but that still would be something you would need to be okay with.
The relationship is already in danger. I'm making peace with that.
If you two are already at this stage you might as well just speed up the process.
He's not talking much. I told him that he's functioning through his ego now. I don't chase people. I won't chase him. The chips will fall where they may.
As I said. Don't waste any more time, speed it up and get the next one.click to expand
LMAO! Nah, I'm good. Prior to him I was celibate for 7 years. These 9 months have been quite beautiful, but I always walk back through the door of single-hood gracefully. As a sapio, it's very far and in between that a man intrigues me enough to get my interest for him flowing. I'm good 🙂
Posted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesPosted by sweetpea2977Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
The gist I get from your posts is that most of this happens in "private" which I think is OK, you are in a relationship. If its happening out in public then yeah I am not to fond of that myself (dependant on the groping and where)
buttttt........
I BET, in two months time you back posting about how your guy has cheated on you :-)
A boyfriend touching you and you scream assault, will lead you down a very lonely path.
Listen, you may allow people to do whatever the fuck they want to do to your body, however and whenever they want. Not me. This is MY body. Mine. I have boundaries and standards. Relationship or NOT. Ok! If the first 8 months you haven't been doing that shit and our relationship isn't based on fucking and groping, why start that shit now? To hell with that. I'm not on this earth to satisfy anyone but myself. Additionally, I've rarely been cheated on. I'm quick to throw a man away. That's the sapio in me. I didn't say we don't touch. We are VERY intimate and have a STRONG connection, but groping me is NOT what I want. That's too common. Period. You've pissed me off w your stupid ass comment.
Lol so break up with him. Instead of googling my boyfriend groped me in his sleep. Or coming here to tell woman who are "touched" by their boyfriends that they are being assaulted.click to expand
Girl, do what you do and I'll do what I do. FOH You haven't said anything worth a read.
Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88
It used to happen to me with my ex Gemini. I used to call him the 1-2-3 man. His hands were either fondling my boobs, ass, or kitty while I was trying to get sleep. I’m a light sleeper so it woke me up. I could be exhausted and he wouldn’t let me sleep cause I would wake up every time he did it throughout the night. It was like his form of cuddling.
It got so bad that after trying to talk to him about it and him not stopping, I basically just used to karate chop his hand extra hard. (Yes I was hitting him) it would wake me up, I’d be furious and yell at him and the be aggressive in getting his hands off me.
He didn’t even care. There was no way that I could stop him. Till this day when he sees me he tries to touch me and I have to maneuver away from him. He has a girlfriend and still can’t help himself. I had to stop giving him hugs or any type of greeting upon running into each other.
I never found a solution for it.
In public he just grabbed my ass a lot but I used to grab his too. I didn’t mind a quick grab saying hello or a quick tap.
He's guilty of sexual assault. Glad you got away from him.
As you can see it’s just something guys do and is pretty common. I didn’t think of it as assault. I was assaulting him right back anyways.
But the flipping balls thing is interesting lol. I probably would have tried that.
Him doing that had nothing to do with me leaving him. That wasn’t even a reason that I thought about when processing the break up. I was so conditioned to it, it was normal.
It was assault nevertheless. We can agree to disagree on that respectfully.
You were conditioned. That can happen.
Some men are conditioned too, to believe that they can touch what they want, when they want. There are consequences though, especially when it's done outside of a relationship. IE Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, and the like.
Well of course outside of a relationship, but inside of a relationship seems to be more acceptable of the behavior. There probably are some people who like it or don’t mind it.
I guess there just needs to be more solutions for getting it to stop when the girl doesn’t like it.
So it should be talked about and try to get worked through.
Let me be clear. I think there's slight confusion. I like my breasts touched by the man that I love. Kissed. Sucked. What I'm saying is that I don't want that everyday, all the time, throughout the day. Lately he's been doing it every damn day, like my breasts are toys. They're not.
Have a talk with him. Is there a reason why you have gotten around to it yet? He won’t know what he’s doing wrong if you don’t and he’s creating a habit out of it as well. So it’s best to try and break it, especially if it’s causing you discomfort.
I had no questions about the intimacy that you shared. Clearly he likes it, because he’s being even more affectionate with you. I was only addressing the unwanted attention.
Are you ok with the face/ hair touches?
When I read that, my mind went to facial hair caresses lol
Hopefully you can get things cleared up and back on track. This can be minor as long as you let him know you aren’t feeling the new habit he’s picking up. I didn’t have a discussion with my ex. But it didn’t bug me in the beginning of our relationship. It bugged me after 15 years or so.
During this same week, I chose not to see him for a few days. He loves to be in my presence everyday which is a whole new topic lol He didn't care for me taking a break. Between that and my issue with this new fetish, he claims that my love has changed. It hasn't but he's sticking to that. He doesn't want to talk because to him, "He doesn't know what to say." Nothing I can do.click to expand
Well you seem to be all or nothing.
It is changing on his side. You are taking a break from him and having issues with his behavior. You’re removing yourself from the situation completely, instead of working through it.
Discussing the issue and giving him time to see if it is resolved when you two are together could have been a different way of handling things, without withdrawing completely. He hasn’t had a chance to correct himself, you just got fed up with his actions and he is probably a little confused by it, like it came out of no where.
And now he’s also being punished by not being able to see the woman that he loves.
You’re being selfish and treating him a little unfair because he had no clue you were unhappy with his behavior.
I understand it’s your body and your right, but it’s still hurtful to be punished by someone that you love for reasons you didn’t even know about and haven’t been given a chance to correct. You’re handling it very one sided, because you are unhappy and upset about it.
I know we as Sag, get into a “IDGAF” attitude when mad but you should try and compromise and let him prove to you that he heard what you said and respects you.
Posted by PhantumPosted by sweetpea2977Posted by PhantumPosted by sweetpea2977Posted by Phantum
Oy.
I like to be touched by my husband. I would hate for him to have to ask permission to touch my butt or something. When he does it in public it's usually sly and like a little secret between us. He always stops if I don't want him to do it.
It's good that he's willing to stop if you're not wanting that kind of attention. That's respectful 🙂
Does your partner not stop when you ask?
If you don't like for cuddling or other touching to lead to sex, how do you guys get to sex?
I haven't asked him to stop but there have been times when I'll lay down to cuddle and relax and he'll ask me why I haven't removed my bra. That's my answer at times. He's been putting a lot of focus on my breasts and my face/hair for about 3 weeks now.
He and I will make love by kissing usually. But! There are many, many times, we kiss and cuddle without getting into sex or being naked. One of my love languages is affection, but because I'm sapio it's different for me.
You have to communicate if you expect to get your needs met. I can tell you that not wanting to be touched by your partner is unusual and is something you need to communicate. Touching is usually a normal part of intimacy. You can't go around accusing people of assault for having normal, socially acceptable boundaries about sexual touching in relationships.click to expand
He has very well met my needs. I never said, in any of my comments I am opposed to touching. Some of yall have taken this out of proportion. I don't do what every one else does nor do IGAF about socially acceptable rules (no offense to you by cursing). I simply do me. I'm authentic to who I am. I'm very sensual, romantic, affectionate. Very. But as I said, this new habit had me thinking that lust was taking over. I'd never want any man to be consumed by my features, breasts, beauty etc that he forgets the core of who I am and how we began. Period.
Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88
It used to happen to me with my ex Gemini. I used to call him the 1-2-3 man. His hands were either fondling my boobs, ass, or kitty while I was trying to get sleep. I’m a light sleeper so it woke me up. I could be exhausted and he wouldn’t let me sleep cause I would wake up every time he did it throughout the night. It was like his form of cuddling.
It got so bad that after trying to talk to him about it and him not stopping, I basically just used to karate chop his hand extra hard. (Yes I was hitting him) it would wake me up, I’d be furious and yell at him and the be aggressive in getting his hands off me.
He didn’t even care. There was no way that I could stop him. Till this day when he sees me he tries to touch me and I have to maneuver away from him. He has a girlfriend and still can’t help himself. I had to stop giving him hugs or any type of greeting upon running into each other.
I never found a solution for it.
In public he just grabbed my ass a lot but I used to grab his too. I didn’t mind a quick grab saying hello or a quick tap.
He's guilty of sexual assault. Glad you got away from him.
As you can see it’s just something guys do and is pretty common. I didn’t think of it as assault. I was assaulting him right back anyways.
But the flipping balls thing is interesting lol. I probably would have tried that.
Him doing that had nothing to do with me leaving him. That wasn’t even a reason that I thought about when processing the break up. I was so conditioned to it, it was normal.
It was assault nevertheless. We can agree to disagree on that respectfully.
You were conditioned. That can happen.
Some men are conditioned too, to believe that they can touch what they want, when they want. There are consequences though, especially when it's done outside of a relationship. IE Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, and the like.
Well of course outside of a relationship, but inside of a relationship seems to be more acceptable of the behavior. There probably are some people who like it or don’t mind it.
I guess there just needs to be more solutions for getting it to stop when the girl doesn’t like it.
So it should be talked about and try to get worked through.
Let me be clear. I think there's slight confusion. I like my breasts touched by the man that I love. Kissed. Sucked. What I'm saying is that I don't want that everyday, all the time, throughout the day. Lately he's been doing it every damn day, like my breasts are toys. They're not.
Have a talk with him. Is there a reason why you have gotten around to it yet? He won’t know what he’s doing wrong if you don’t and he’s creating a habit out of it as well. So it’s best to try and break it, especially if it’s causing you discomfort.
I had no questions about the intimacy that you shared. Clearly he likes it, because he’s being even more affectionate with you. I was only addressing the unwanted attention.
Are you ok with the face/ hair touches?
When I read that, my mind went to facial hair caresses lol
Hopefully you can get things cleared up and back on track. This can be minor as long as you let him know you aren’t feeling the new habit he’s picking up. I didn’t have a discussion with my ex. But it didn’t bug me in the beginning of our relationship. It bugged me after 15 years or so.
During this same week, I chose not to see him for a few days. He loves to be in my presence everyday which is a whole new topic lol He didn't care for me taking a break. Between that and my issue with this new fetish, he claims that my love has changed. It hasn't but he's sticking to that. He doesn't want to talk because to him, "He doesn't know what to say." Nothing I can do.
Well you seem to be all or nothing.
It is changing on his side. You are taking a break from him and having issues with his behavior. You’re removing yourself from the situation completely, instead of working through it.
Discussing the issue and giving him time to see if it is resolved when you two are together could have been a different way of handling things, without withdrawing completely. He hasn’t had a chance to correct himself, you just got fed up with his actions and he is probably a little confused by it, like it came out of no where.
And now he’s also being punished by not being able to see the woman that he loves.
You’re being selfish and treating him a little unfair because he had no clue you were unhappy with his behavior.
I understand it’s your body and your right, but it’s still hurtful to be punished by someone that you love for reasons you didn’t even know about and haven’t been given a chance to correct. You’re handling it very one sided, because you are unhappy and upset about it.
I know we as Sag, get into a “IDGAF” attitude when mad but you should try and compromise and let him prove to you that he heard what you said and respects you.click to expand
Here's a virtual kiss for being so sweet #muah!
But, you're also wrong lol I reached out to him yesterday, but we couldn't get on the same page time wise. He was going to pick me up to ride w him somewhere to talk, but I was cooking a loving dinner 🙂
This morning I reached out again. He said that he's not ready to talk w me about it. So, he's hurt and he's just not ready. Nothing more I can do, but send him a text to say that I love him and leave it alone. But yeah, eventually I walk away if need be.
Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88
It used to happen to me with my ex Gemini. I used to call him the 1-2-3 man. His hands were either fondling my boobs, ass, or kitty while I was trying to get sleep. I’m a light sleeper so it woke me up. I could be exhausted and he wouldn’t let me sleep cause I would wake up every time he did it throughout the night. It was like his form of cuddling.
It got so bad that after trying to talk to him about it and him not stopping, I basically just used to karate chop his hand extra hard. (Yes I was hitting him) it would wake me up, I’d be furious and yell at him and the be aggressive in getting his hands off me.
He didn’t even care. There was no way that I could stop him. Till this day when he sees me he tries to touch me and I have to maneuver away from him. He has a girlfriend and still can’t help himself. I had to stop giving him hugs or any type of greeting upon running into each other.
I never found a solution for it.
In public he just grabbed my ass a lot but I used to grab his too. I didn’t mind a quick grab saying hello or a quick tap.
He's guilty of sexual assault. Glad you got away from him.
As you can see it’s just something guys do and is pretty common. I didn’t think of it as assault. I was assaulting him right back anyways.
But the flipping balls thing is interesting lol. I probably would have tried that.
Him doing that had nothing to do with me leaving him. That wasn’t even a reason that I thought about when processing the break up. I was so conditioned to it, it was normal.
It was assault nevertheless. We can agree to disagree on that respectfully.
You were conditioned. That can happen.
Some men are conditioned too, to believe that they can touch what they want, when they want. There are consequences though, especially when it's done outside of a relationship. IE Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, and the like.
Well of course outside of a relationship, but inside of a relationship seems to be more acceptable of the behavior. There probably are some people who like it or don’t mind it.
I guess there just needs to be more solutions for getting it to stop when the girl doesn’t like it.
So it should be talked about and try to get worked through.
Let me be clear. I think there's slight confusion. I like my breasts touched by the man that I love. Kissed. Sucked. What I'm saying is that I don't want that everyday, all the time, throughout the day. Lately he's been doing it every damn day, like my breasts are toys. They're not.
Have a talk with him. Is there a reason why you have gotten around to it yet? He won’t know what he’s doing wrong if you don’t and he’s creating a habit out of it as well. So it’s best to try and break it, especially if it’s causing you discomfort.
I had no questions about the intimacy that you shared. Clearly he likes it, because he’s being even more affectionate with you. I was only addressing the unwanted attention.
Are you ok with the face/ hair touches?
When I read that, my mind went to facial hair caresses lol
Hopefully you can get things cleared up and back on track. This can be minor as long as you let him know you aren’t feeling the new habit he’s picking up. I didn’t have a discussion with my ex. But it didn’t bug me in the beginning of our relationship. It bugged me after 15 years or so.
During this same week, I chose not to see him for a few days. He loves to be in my presence everyday which is a whole new topic lol He didn't care for me taking a break. Between that and my issue with this new fetish, he claims that my love has changed. It hasn't but he's sticking to that. He doesn't want to talk because to him, "He doesn't know what to say." Nothing I can do.
Well you seem to be all or nothing.
It is changing on his side. You are taking a break from him and having issues with his behavior. You’re removing yourself from the situation completely, instead of working through it.
Discussing the issue and giving him time to see if it is resolved when you two are together could have been a different way of handling things, without withdrawing completely. He hasn’t had a chance to correct himself, you just got fed up with his actions and he is probably a little confused by it, like it came out of no where.
And now he’s also being punished by not being able to see the woman that he loves.
You’re being selfish and treating him a little unfair because he had no clue you were unhappy with his behavior.
I understand it’s your body and your right, but it’s still hurtful to be punished by someone that you love for reasons you didn’t even know about and haven’t been given a chance to correct. You’re handling it very one sided, because you are unhappy and upset about it.
I know we as Sag, get into a “IDGAF” attitude when mad but you should try and compromise and let him prove to you that he heard what you said and respects you.
Here's a virtual kiss for being so sweet #muah!
But, you're also wrong lol I reached out to him yesterday, but we couldn't get on the same page time wise. He was going to pick me up to ride w him somewhere to talk, but I was cooking a loving dinner 🙂
This morning I reached out again. He said that he's not ready to talk w me about it. So, he's hurt and he's just not ready. Nothing more I can do, but send him a text to say that I love him and leave it alone. But yeah, eventually I walk away if need be.click to expand
I answer things the way I read them. I take everything literally and at face value. 🥴
Well it looks like you are doing your part in trying to come together again. So hopefully it goes well with the time in between of not seeing each other. Being in love means that both people will miss each other when away for too long.
I hope you guys come to a conclusion that works for both of you. Virtual kisses right back atcha! 😘😘😘😘
Posted by PhantumPosted by sweetpea2977Posted by PhantumPosted by sweetpea2977Posted by PhantumPosted by sweetpea2977Posted by Phantum
Oy.
I like to be touched by my husband. I would hate for him to have to ask permission to touch my butt or something. When he does it in public it's usually sly and like a little secret between us. He always stops if I don't want him to do it.
It's good that he's willing to stop if you're not wanting that kind of attention. That's respectful 🙂
Does your partner not stop when you ask?
If you don't like for cuddling or other touching to lead to sex, how do you guys get to sex?
I haven't asked him to stop but there have been times when I'll lay down to cuddle and relax and he'll ask me why I haven't removed my bra. That's my answer at times. He's been putting a lot of focus on my breasts and my face/hair for about 3 weeks now.
He and I will make love by kissing usually. But! There are many, many times, we kiss and cuddle without getting into sex or being naked. One of my love languages is affection, but because I'm sapio it's different for me.
You have to communicate if you expect to get your needs met. I can tell you that not wanting to be touched by your partner is unusual and is something you need to communicate. Touching is usually a normal part of intimacy. You can't go around accusing people of assault for having normal, socially acceptable boundaries about sexual touching in relationships.
He has very well met my needs. I never said, in any of my comments I am opposed to touching. Some of yall have taken this out of proportion. I don't do what every one else does nor do IGAF about socially acceptable rules (no offense to you by cursing). I simply do me. I'm authentic to who I am. I'm very sensual, romantic, affectionate. Very. But as I said, this new habit had me thinking that lust was taking over. I'd never want any man to be consumed by my features, breasts, beauty etc that he forgets the core of who I am and how we began. Period.
You're not getting your needs met. That's why you're thinking of breaking up with him. You can be as outside the norm as you want to be, but you can't expect others to read your mind and know that you are.
From his point of view, you've rejected him and put him in the same category as all other men in the world who you are not dating, accusing him of unnatural or overly lustful behavior when he's behaving the way most couples behave with one another.click to expand
Wrong. I am/was getting my needs met. This is actually our first disagreement. We're very, very compatible on many levels. Don't misconstrue what I've grumbled about here to think this man didn't bring me extreme joy. We did that for each other. Daily. He switched up. I don't like the switch. I shared that with him. He's hurt and feeling rejected. Rightfully so, but I have the right to feel the way that I feel too. Additionally, that's the issue. We're not a typical couple in my eyes. He calls me his soulmate, his best friend, his true love and expresses that our love is a love some never see. Trust me, OUR needs have been met. Direct attn to my breasts on a regular? No thanks.
Posted by AntiphatesPosted by sweetpea2977Posted by AntiphatesPosted by sweetpea2977Posted by AntiphatesPosted by sweetpea2977Posted by AntiphatesPosted by sweetpea2977Posted by Antiphates
Is it something you dislike in itself or is the amount and frequency that you don't like?
This is so new for me. I've never been in a relationship where a man is just touching me, rubbing me every time he passes or lays next to me to cuddle or take a nap. Everything isn't sexual. True intimacy goes beyond the sexual. So for me, I don't like it randomly done to me. The frequency or amount. We've been dating for 9 months. He's now starting this shit. He has begun complimenting me a lot too. I don't care for that either. When he said that I've changed, I told him that he has. Wondering if lust is beginning to outweigh the love.
In that case the route should be a clear and easy one. You don't like it and it's something he should respect.
He either can live without it or not. If not the relationship might be in danger.
Assuming it's just a display of affection there might be negotiable middleground like a tap on the butt as greeting or something similiar but that still would be something you would need to be okay with.
The relationship is already in danger. I'm making peace with that.
If you two are already at this stage you might as well just speed up the process.
He's not talking much. I told him that he's functioning through his ego now. I don't chase people. I won't chase him. The chips will fall where they may.
As I said. Don't waste any more time, speed it up and get the next one.
LMAO! Nah, I'm good. Prior to him I was celibate for 7 years. These 9 months have been quite beautiful, but I always walk back through the door of single-hood gracefully. As a sapio, it's very far and in between that a man intrigues me enough to get my interest for him flowing. I'm good 🙂
Well, in that case I guess it's: speed it up and don't get the next one.click to expand
LMAO!
Posted by nanorobot
I hate it. My experience with Gemini men is that they are very physically affectionate and touchy/feely. I am not. Most of the time I do not like being touched, at all.
We have gotten into actual full blown fights because he does it in public too. Sometimes it draws attention from pervs who would walk up and comment on it. I hate hate hate it. Very disrespectful, objectifying, and unacceptable to me.
I prefer emotionally constipated men who my emotionally constipated self has to pursue the touches lol 😆
I get it! 🙂
The objectification is a no for me. And the thing is, it's not personal. Just this summer, I had to check a few men at my job for commenting on my ass in jeans and how "beautiful" I am, every time they see me. Had to ask? Don't you have a wife? Save your compliments for them. I couldn't care less how "beautiful" I am to anyone. Doesn't impress me. I am far more than that. Better have some damn intellect going on LOL
Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by saggurl88
It used to happen to me with my ex Gemini. I used to call him the 1-2-3 man. His hands were either fondling my boobs, ass, or kitty while I was trying to get sleep. I’m a light sleeper so it woke me up. I could be exhausted and he wouldn’t let me sleep cause I would wake up every time he did it throughout the night. It was like his form of cuddling.
It got so bad that after trying to talk to him about it and him not stopping, I basically just used to karate chop his hand extra hard. (Yes I was hitting him) it would wake me up, I’d be furious and yell at him and the be aggressive in getting his hands off me.
He didn’t even care. There was no way that I could stop him. Till this day when he sees me he tries to touch me and I have to maneuver away from him. He has a girlfriend and still can’t help himself. I had to stop giving him hugs or any type of greeting upon running into each other.
I never found a solution for it.
In public he just grabbed my ass a lot but I used to grab his too. I didn’t mind a quick grab saying hello or a quick tap.
He's guilty of sexual assault. Glad you got away from him.
As you can see it’s just something guys do and is pretty common. I didn’t think of it as assault. I was assaulting him right back anyways.
But the flipping balls thing is interesting lol. I probably would have tried that.
Him doing that had nothing to do with me leaving him. That wasn’t even a reason that I thought about when processing the break up. I was so conditioned to it, it was normal.
It was assault nevertheless. We can agree to disagree on that respectfully.
You were conditioned. That can happen.
Some men are conditioned too, to believe that they can touch what they want, when they want. There are consequences though, especially when it's done outside of a relationship. IE Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, and the like.
Well of course outside of a relationship, but inside of a relationship seems to be more acceptable of the behavior. There probably are some people who like it or don’t mind it.
I guess there just needs to be more solutions for getting it to stop when the girl doesn’t like it.
So it should be talked about and try to get worked through.
Let me be clear. I think there's slight confusion. I like my breasts touched by the man that I love. Kissed. Sucked. What I'm saying is that I don't want that everyday, all the time, throughout the day. Lately he's been doing it every damn day, like my breasts are toys. They're not.
Have a talk with him. Is there a reason why you have gotten around to it yet? He won’t know what he’s doing wrong if you don’t and he’s creating a habit out of it as well. So it’s best to try and break it, especially if it’s causing you discomfort.
I had no questions about the intimacy that you shared. Clearly he likes it, because he’s being even more affectionate with you. I was only addressing the unwanted attention.
Are you ok with the face/ hair touches?
When I read that, my mind went to facial hair caresses lol
Hopefully you can get things cleared up and back on track. This can be minor as long as you let him know you aren’t feeling the new habit he’s picking up. I didn’t have a discussion with my ex. But it didn’t bug me in the beginning of our relationship. It bugged me after 15 years or so.
During this same week, I chose not to see him for a few days. He loves to be in my presence everyday which is a whole new topic lol He didn't care for me taking a break. Between that and my issue with this new fetish, he claims that my love has changed. It hasn't but he's sticking to that. He doesn't want to talk because to him, "He doesn't know what to say." Nothing I can do.
Well you seem to be all or nothing.
It is changing on his side. You are taking a break from him and having issues with his behavior. You’re removing yourself from the situation completely, instead of working through it.
Discussing the issue and giving him time to see if it is resolved when you two are together could have been a different way of handling things, without withdrawing completely. He hasn’t had a chance to correct himself, you just got fed up with his actions and he is probably a little confused by it, like it came out of no where.
And now he’s also being punished by not being able to see the woman that he loves.
You’re being selfish and treating him a little unfair because he had no clue you were unhappy with his behavior.
I understand it’s your body and your right, but it’s still hurtful to be punished by someone that you love for reasons you didn’t even know about and haven’t been given a chance to correct. You’re handling it very one sided, because you are unhappy and upset about it.
I know we as Sag, get into a “IDGAF” attitude when mad but you should try and compromise and let him prove to you that he heard what you said and respects you.
Here's a virtual kiss for being so sweet #muah!
But, you're also wrong lol I reached out to him yesterday, but we couldn't get on the same page time wise. He was going to pick me up to ride w him somewhere to talk, but I was cooking a loving dinner 🙂
This morning I reached out again. He said that he's not ready to talk w me about it. So, he's hurt and he's just not ready. Nothing more I can do, but send him a text to say that I love him and leave it alone. But yeah, eventually I walk away if need be.
I answer things the way I read them. I take everything literally and at face value. 🥴
Well it looks like you are doing your part in trying to come together again. So hopefully it goes well with the time in between of not seeing each other. Being in love means that both people will miss each other when away for too long.
I hope you guys come to a conclusion that works for both of you. Virtual kisses right back atcha! 😘😘😘😘click to expand
Thank you so much missy! It was good talking with you 🙂
Well, we're talking a little now. He reminded me of his love for me. I'll give an update as to whether we move past this or cut it short in a few days or so.
Posted by ArilovesAqu
I dated a cancer that would grab my ass and make farting noises 🙄
Just ugh. That doesn’t get old or anything...
Takes a while to know someone (beyond the dating stage and the early months of a relationship) - and living together is usually what works best - to find out how compatible you really are together. That being said... after 9 months - i guess you found a big red flag - in terms of compatibility. Who knows (well, obviously - you should) - might be big enough for you two to brake-up. Or, you could prolong it till someone better comes along (be it for him or for you). Personally, i dislike this type of thing ( "taking people for a ride till someone better comes along" ) - but some people find it easier that way (to move along or something like that).
virgoOPPP's guy seems like the other extreme: https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/the-powder-room/should-i-13601848/ - so maybe you'd like some like him... 🤔 And she might like someone like your guy (well, that also depends how big is his package - cause if it's smaller than 20 cm - that just wouldn't work for her - she made that clear multiple times in past topics 😏). My point is - there's also guys that fit your needs/wants from this point of view. Same way there's guys that fit hers. Back to the drawing board...
virgoOPPP's guy seems like the other extreme: https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/the-powder-room/should-i-13601848/ - so maybe you'd like some like him... 🤔 And she might like someone like your guy (well, that also depends how big is his package - cause if it's smaller than 20 cm - that just wouldn't work for her - she made that clear multiple times in past topics 😏). My point is - there's also guys that fit your needs/wants from this point of view. Same way there's guys that fit hers. Back to the drawing board...
Posted by neves
Takes a while to know someone (beyond the dating stage and the early months of a relationship) - and living together is usually what works best - to find out how compatible you really are together. That being said... after 9 months - i guess you found a big red flag - in terms of compatibility. Who knows (well, obviously - you should) - might be big enough for you two to brake-up. Or, you could prolong it till someone better comes along (be it for him or for you). Personally, i dislike this type of thing ( "taking people for a ride till someone better comes along" ) - but some people find it easier that way (to move along or something like that).
virgoOPPP's guy seems like the other extreme: https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/the-powder-room/should-i-13601848/ - so maybe you'd like some like him... 🤔 And she might like someone like your guy (well, that also depends how big is his package - cause if it's smaller than 20 cm - that just wouldn't work for her - she made that clear multiple times in past topics 😏). My point is - there's also guys that fit your needs/wants from this point of view. Same way there's guys that fit hers. Back to the drawing board...
LMAO @ "back to the drawing board"
I don't think this issue indicates that I don't know him. He's been very consistent w me, since the day we met. Very lovable, genuine, kind, thoughtful and giving. We just bumped heads on this one. I value what I value and I dislike what I dislike, but I don't love him any less. We may fall deeper in love if we get past it 🙂 I know that he didn't do what he did to hurt me or annoy me, but done nevertheless. Both he and I have learned from it.
Additionally, I don't straddle the fence with men. Nor do I jump from relationship to relationship. Healing is important and that's what I plan to do, if repair isn't in the future.
Here's an update, sooner than later lol
"I love you sweetness. I hurt you. I know that you love me, even if it's different now?.?. We have loved on each other for some time now. Do you plan to heal from this....or....should I prepare to close this chapter? I don't want to linger if you know that it's closed."
His reply: "I do love you."
"I apologize for being rude and dismissive to you. I truly love so much about you. I handled my emotions poorly and was insensitive."
His reply: "I miss you too. Lets take some time together tomorrow."
"Yes love. Let's do that."
"I love you sweetness. I hurt you. I know that you love me, even if it's different now?.?. We have loved on each other for some time now. Do you plan to heal from this....or....should I prepare to close this chapter? I don't want to linger if you know that it's closed."
His reply: "I do love you."
"I apologize for being rude and dismissive to you. I truly love so much about you. I handled my emotions poorly and was insensitive."
His reply: "I miss you too. Lets take some time together tomorrow."
"Yes love. Let's do that."
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