Dating

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lovely77
@lovely77
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What does dating mean to you? I feel my friend is leading someone on. At first i ignored it but lately i called them out on it because i see this person really liking my friend. They call me venting about how unattractive they r and that they arent their type. I ask why r u talking to them then making them believe it will be more. We all been in that situation where we like someone and they may lead us on tbis is wrong. Today my friend ranted about how this person asked them the big question "what r we" my friend says we dating, but just over the weekend she told me she had to let this person know what they were. So today I ask if u said thst why would thry be confused about what u r? Then she mentioned the dating part....i stop them right there and said hey u r leading them on. Dating to me is getting to know someone on a level hoping it leads to something..........right? Or maybe ppl date for the hell of it
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lovely77
@lovely77
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Posted by mrpepperidge
Posted by Impulsv
Unfortunately many women date to be taken out n free meals. Because they want attention from anybody.
I only date those in genuinely interested period
LOL my cousin does that. I'm like do you want to come along in the shooting range? she's like hold on i have to call sanjit so he can pay. sanjit ends up paying for my bullets as well LMAO!
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Thats cold lol
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ashley1734
@ashley1734
10 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

Comments: 1 · Posts: 1596 · Topics: 40
Posted by lovely77
I guess to make my thread short, is it ok to date someone if your not attracted to them and have no hopes of a relationship? Why not just say hey we r friends only.
If you aren't attracted to someone and you are simply hanging out with them, I don't see how that's even dating. I think we call that friendship. There doesn't really need to be a discussion between two parties about that.

If there is sex involved, then that also seems like an obvious answer. I mean, it's difficult for me to wrap my head around having sex with someone you don't find physically attractive, but for some people it really isn't outside the realm of reality for that to happen. In either scenario, the person is clearly not after anything more than friendship or sex and if the friend in this situation cannot see that for herself then just tell her "yo that dude is not interested in you in that way"
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ashley1734
@ashley1734
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Posted by ashley1734
Posted by lovely77
I guess to make my thread short, is it ok to date someone if your not attracted to them and have no hopes of a relationship? Why not just say hey we r friends only.
If you aren't attracted to someone and you are simply hanging out with them, I don't see how that's even dating. I think we call that friendship. There doesn't really need to be a discussion between two parties about that.

If there is sex involved, then that also seems like an obvious answer. I mean, it's difficult for me to wrap my head around having sex with someone you don't find physically attractive, but for some people it really isn't outside the realm of reality for that to happen. In either scenario, the person is clearly not after anything more than friendship or sex and if the friend in this situation cannot see that for herself then just tell her "yo that dude is not interested in you in that way"
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Ok clearly I read the scenario wrong. Your friend is the one who is leading someone else on...

Tell her to quit being an a-hole and leave the poor guy alone.
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lovely77
@lovely77
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Posted by ashley1734
Posted by ashley1734
Posted by lovely77
I guess to make my thread short, is it ok to date someone if your not attracted to them and have no hopes of a relationship? Why not just say hey we r friends only.
If you aren't attracted to someone and you are simply hanging out with them, I don't see how that's even dating. I think we call that friendship. There doesn't really need to be a discussion between two parties about that.

If there is sex involved, then that also seems like an obvious answer. I mean, it's difficult for me to wrap my head around having sex with someone you don't find physically attractive, but for some people it really isn't outside the realm of reality for that to happen. In either scenario, the person is clearly not after anything more than friendship or sex and if the friend in this situation cannot see that for herself then just tell her "yo that dude is not interested in you in that way"
Ok clearly I read the scenario wrong. Your friend is the one who is leading someone else on...

Tell her to quit being an a-hole and leave the poor guy alone.
click to expand

Yea my friend and she keeps wining to me about it yet still talking to them. I told her u need to be direct and tell them u not feeling them. She days dating isnt about sex...yes ok but it gives someone hope that one day intimacy or a rel will.come of it
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ashley1734
@ashley1734
10 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

Comments: 1 · Posts: 1596 · Topics: 40
Posted by lovely77
Posted by ashley1734
Posted by ashley1734
Posted by lovely77
I guess to make my thread short, is it ok to date someone if your not attracted to them and have no hopes of a relationship? Why not just say hey we r friends only.
If you aren't attracted to someone and you are simply hanging out with them, I don't see how that's even dating. I think we call that friendship. There doesn't really need to be a discussion between two parties about that.

If there is sex involved, then that also seems like an obvious answer. I mean, it's difficult for me to wrap my head around having sex with someone you don't find physically attractive, but for some people it really isn't outside the realm of reality for that to happen. In either scenario, the person is clearly not after anything more than friendship or sex and if the friend in this situation cannot see that for herself then just tell her "yo that dude is not interested in you in that way"
Ok clearly I read the scenario wrong. Your friend is the one who is leading someone else on...

Tell her to quit being an a-hole and leave the poor guy alone.
Yea my friend and she keeps wining to me about it yet still talking to them. I told her u need to be direct and tell them u not feeling them. She days dating isnt about sex...yes ok but it gives someone hope that one day intimacy or a rel will.come of it
click to expand

Perhaps she is wanting YOU to tell her that he isn't all that unattractive and she should get to know him a little more. I am assuming you guys are young...when I was young and more immature, I would sometimes feel a bit insecure about the guys I dated, not knowing if my friends would think he was cute enough or cool enough or whatever...I remember dating a guy who I really liked to hang out with but I wasn't initially very attracted to him until one day it occurred to me that my attraction for him had grown by getting to know him, but I would tell me friends no we are just friends, I don't find him attractive, etc. and they encouraged me to not be shallow and just be open to it and I was and we dated for two years.

Maybe the type of advice she is seeking from you is not really advice at all but simply reassurance or a new perspective.
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lovely77
@lovely77
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Posted by ashley1734
Posted by lovely77
Posted by ashley1734
Posted by ashley1734
Posted by lovely77
I guess to make my thread short, is it ok to date someone if your not attracted to them and have no hopes of a relationship? Why not just say hey we r friends only.
If you aren't attracted to someone and you are simply hanging out with them, I don't see how that's even dating. I think we call that friendship. There doesn't really need to be a discussion between two parties about that.

If there is sex involved, then that also seems like an obvious answer. I mean, it's difficult for me to wrap my head around having sex with someone you don't find physically attractive, but for some people it really isn't outside the realm of reality for that to happen. In either scenario, the person is clearly not after anything more than friendship or sex and if the friend in this situation cannot see that for herself then just tell her "yo that dude is not interested in you in that way"
Ok clearly I read the scenario wrong. Your friend is the one who is leading someone else on...

Tell her to quit being an a-hole and leave the poor guy alone.
Yea my friend and she keeps wining to me about it yet still talking to them. I told her u need to be direct and tell them u not feeling them. She days dating isnt about sex...yes ok but it gives someone hope that one day intimacy or a rel will.come of it
Perhaps she is wanting YOU to tell her that he isn't all that unattractive and she should get to know him a little more. I am assuming you guys are young...when I was young and more immature, I would sometimes feel a bit insecure about the guys I dated, not knowing if my friends would think he was cute enough or cool enough or whatever...I remember dating a guy who I really liked to hang out with but I wasn't initially very attracted to him until one day it occurred to me that my attraction for him had grown by getting to know him, but I would tell me friends no we are just friends, I don't find him attractive, etc. and they encouraged me to not be shallow and just be open to it and I was and we dated for two years.

Maybe the type of advice she is seeking from you is not really advice at all but simply reassurance or a new perspective.
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I told her to get to know this person they seem very nice etc. My friend mind of likes look and she is 38 im 32
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lovely77
@lovely77
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I dont think its mature for someone to wait for a friend to say hes attractive or not. I wouldn't care what my friends thought id date u and dont need reassurance etc. Trust me ive giving great straight forward advice even advised she is being very shallow and all about looks. I said dont hurt this perosn let them go and u need to be clear on what u guys are etc. I wouldn't want anyone to hurt me or lead me on just like i dont want to see my friends mistreating ppl and not being honest. If ur not dating this person tell them...she says they r dating i said no ur not because u dont like them and u dont want a rel with them and u complain about their looks etc
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ashley1734
@ashley1734
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Posted by lovely77
I dont think its mature for someone to wait for a friend to say hes attractive or not. I wouldn't care what my friends thought id date u and dont need reassurance etc. Trust me ive giving great straight forward advice even advised she is being very shallow and all about looks. I said dont hurt this perosn let them go and u need to be clear on what u guys are etc. I wouldn't want anyone to hurt me or lead me on just like i dont want to see my friends mistreating ppl and not being honest. If ur not dating this person tell them...she says they r dating i said no ur not because u dont like them and u dont want a rel with them and u complain about their looks etc
I think you've done enough then. Just tell her "I don't want to hear about it anymore."

I wouldn't wanna hear about it anymore either when my friends are making bad choices.
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lovely77
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Posted by UmiSays
I have a question. My neighbor insists on me hanging out with her friend. Now, I have dated men before. I prefer women. But yea so she asked me if its ok for him to text me I said yes since he's been so adamant, I guess I said yes so I could be nice. Now is it ok if I give this guy a chance (its been a yesr since we met)? On top of that I love women and my neighbor doesn't know that ; ( lol and I don't want to out myself. Im being sincere.
I like women too let me just day this would you be truly happy with this guy? If hes a nice guy and does everything 4 u etc are u living your truth? Are you happy will you be if things progress if so give it a chance if not dont lead him on etc.
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krysrenee7
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Dating means different things to different people.

For some, dating is just a friendlier word for 'friends with benefits' or 'meaningless relations until I'm ready to settle down, which'll probably be with someone else completely.'

Be a realist for a second. Although, ideally, it's wrong to hide sinister intentions, the reality is that shady folks often never tap you on the shoulder to tell you how they plan to use you before they've even had a chance to get benefits from you lol Ideally, a person should be up front with you but 99% of the time if their intentions aren't good, the dishonest person isn't gonna have a sudden attack of conscious in the middle of getting benefits from you, b/c doing so would defeat the purpose of their chase to get your benefits in the 1st place.

There's something your friend wants from that person that you may not see. It may be money, sex, or the constant ego boost & attention the other person gives your friend, that your friend doesn't feel he's getting in the right dose from others or from anyone at all. There's a reason for everything.

If I were you, I'd tell your friend that you don't think what they're doing is right. And then leave it alone. What your friend is doing is selfish, however be aware that sometimes, the other person they're dating is just as willing to carry on a meaningless situationship too