GeneralFishy
@RemixGeneralFishy
9 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 1 · Posts: 1786 · Topics: 12
Falling in love twice with the same person?
Posted by aquarius_beautyBut that's just it, I didn't actually feel anything other than annoyance when I saw him again. My heart didn't skip a beat nor did my stomach sink. I felt the same kind of annoyance I feel whenever I see one of divacanleo's retarded threads.
Well I think it would depend. If it was a recent breakup no. Hell to the no. But, the fact that it's been 7-8 years? It takes roughly 4-5 years for a person to truly change, given with effort.
Who knows? Maybe it will end up differently then. Nothing wrong with catching up and being friends, unless of course your afraid of your own feelings and the reason why your showing indifference is because you know you have the capability to fall in love again.
I know the feeling, I've fought it...been there.
Why is it so hard for people to believe that? I have never had rekindled feelings for an old partner.
Posted by CanthalTiltI know you are, but what am I?
fag
I don't go backwards - I just can't so I don't ... and I don't have to explain myself to anyone ... I simply say "no thank you" and move on ...
Posted by yupvirgooI WISH I was "with" the current Virgo demigod. *triggered*
But aren't you with another Virgo?
You're currently with a Virgo and your ex was also a Virgo?
This is a different Virgo, from a decade ago. What can I tell ya, I've always had good taste.
Posted by SweetLily89For me it's not like hard feelings because it was a bad breakup. I initiated the breakup because I wanted to give him a chance to give his young son a life with his parents together. I was hurt that he didn't fight hard to keep us together, but I suppose he saw reason in what I was trying to do.
I agree with @aquarius_beauty. People do change and it's been many years since you've last been together.
That said, I understand the feeling. I have no interest in rekindling a romance with either of my exes. My one ex reached out some months ago this is 7 years after our breakup and I honestly don't even have the slightest interest in being his friend much less anything more than that. Some of us are able to "start over" and others are not. There is no right or wrong answer, it's what each individual feels comfortable. In my case, though there had been a point in the past that I had started to "fall" for him I had finally come to terms that I simply can't pretend that what happened didn't.
It's just that the way he went about things at first (I didn't even find out he had a son until a full year later), and I saw how he still had great chemistry with the boy's mom and I felt like the bad 4th wheel. Half of me meant the gesture, but the other half wanted him to pick me over them. And then everything I went through afterwards while trying to get over him - that's all it is, resentment for all that crap. And to make things worse, they didn't last a month together. He's been single this whole time. So I went through all that shit for fucking nothing!
There's no love on my side whatsoever.
Posted by yupvirgooNoipe, met the guy on my birthday night years ago and as far as I knew, he was gay. Like a year later I found out he was in fact bi, and had a young son from a previous relationship with a woman.Posted by RemixGeneralFishyWhat do you mean "with?"Posted by yupvirgooI WISH I was "with" the current Virgo demigod. *triggered*
But aren't you with another Virgo?
You're currently with a Virgo and your ex was also a Virgo?
This is a different Virgo, from a decade ago. What can I tell ya, I've always had good taste.
Are you a homewrecker? lol jkclick to expand
And the current one is straight, so there's no "with" in the equation. Though I'm getting a strange distinct feeling that he's starting to become curious. He's been making some rather bizarre moves uncharacteristically for an alleged 100% straight guy.
Posted by Infinite8UH HUH exactly. I'm not afraid to talk to or see him. Now he's like a random person. The annoyance comes from the memory of what I went through because of him, and his stupidity. I could easily walk right upto his face and not feel anything at all.Posted by RemixGeneralFishyThe same. My feelings might have resurfaced or I might have the chemistry come back when I see that person again... but that will not affect my actions.
Has it happened to anyone here?
Over the Xmas holidays I saw my Virgo ex again for the first time in 7-8 years. And for some reason, everyone was flabbergasted that I reacted to him with indifference (and some annoyance, because seeing him reminded me of the aftermath of our break-up). But mostly indifference.
Now whenever I express irritation about him to my friends, they immediately ask if I still love him. Like hell. His son keeps asking me to hang out with them before he heads back home, and I keep refusing. He interprets that as unrequited feelings, and it's really annoying. How many times and in how many languages do I have to explain myself?
It's like I don't allow myself to fall for the same person twice because I remember how last time turned out. Do I still find him attractive? Sure, but it's about way more than that. And I just refuse to go there. Whenever a casual thing or a relationship ends, I don't look back nor do I want to relight the fire.
How do you ladies & gents handle it?
Bottom line, I know the ugliness of that persons character... and that is enough for me to never want to go there again.
Second time around, I am not so fearful though...
I would go out again and talk to the person again... but he is friendzoned. There is something about him that turned me off... so, I just could never go there again. I trust myself to get close without ANYTHING happening. My feelings and actions are much more in control. I'm not as free, willing and open as the first time. I'm not as dreamy.
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Posted by AreyoumytwinflameBAHAHA going from the frying pan straight into the fire, you sure got yourself in a pickle with that one.
I don't hold on to any residual feelings for anyone after a breakup. This is why I hated dating cancers. They wouldn't let there be an end. They would either ignore or ghost or whatever. It leaves loose ends for me and unable to move on.
If we break up though...I'm gone. I erase you from my memory bank. Even if it ended on good terms, I'll probably never care how you're doing. Maybe it's a coping mechanism. I wish my Scorpio ex would understand this lol.
I did sort of end up with some residual feelings with my first love, a Taurus. I fell for him but he had a sex addiction problem, all he cared about was sex sex sex and wasn't open to an emotional commitment. Few months after I left, we ran into each other and it was like no time had passed. Just for that night; oh if the walls could talk.......but that was it, we didn't exchange new numbers. He went his way and I went my way and that's all folks.
Then a year or so later I met this Virgo. He was my second love, and the Virgo demigod I keep going on about lol is my third love.
Posted by AreyoumytwinflameYou stick to those principles! Though at the end of the day, sex is just sex. Maybe you're attaching too much significance to it.Posted by RemixGeneralFishyYeah, when the sex is good that's a completely different factor. It's like a drug. I don't wanna date anyone else who's better at sex than me. You ain't gonna have me out here looking crazy stalking and hacking accounts to make sure you ain't giving my good dick away. No sir ?Posted by AreyoumytwinflameBAHAHA going from the frying pan straight into the fire, you sure got yourself in a pickle with that one.
I don't hold on to any residual feelings for anyone after a breakup. This is why I hated dating cancers. They wouldn't let there be an end. They would either ignore or ghost or whatever. It leaves loose ends for me and unable to move on.
If we break up though...I'm gone. I erase you from my memory bank. Even if it ended on good terms, I'll probably never care how you're doing. Maybe it's a coping mechanism. I wish my Scorpio ex would understand this lol.
I did sort of end up with some residual feelings with my first love, a Taurus. I fell for him but he had a sex addiction problem, all he cared about was sex sex sex and wasn't open to an emotional commitment. Few months after I left, we ran into each other and it was like no time had passed. Just for that night; oh if the walls could talk.......but that was it, we didn't exchange new numbers. He went his way and I went my way and that's all folks.
Then a year or so later I met this Virgo. He was my second love, and the Virgo demigod I keep going on about lol is my third love.
click to expand
Posted by Infinite8The winner? I loved Chris more than I had loved anyone at the time. Letting him go almost killed me, and I was having suicidal thoughts for a long time. The long-term effect? I didn't dare let anyone else get close to me in fear of going through the same thing over again. I became a zombie, for lack of better phrase. Didn't allow myself to feel anything for anyone.Posted by RemixGeneralFishyPosted by Infinite8UH HUH exactly. I'm not afraid to talk to or see him. Now he's like a random person. The annoyance comes from the memory of what I went through because of him, and his stupidity. I could easily walk right upto his face and not feel anything at all.Posted by RemixGeneralFishyThe same. My feelings might have resurfaced or I might have the chemistry come back when I see that person again... but that will not affect my actions.
Has it happened to anyone here?
Over the Xmas holidays I saw my Virgo ex again for the first time in 7-8 years. And for some reason, everyone was flabbergasted that I reacted to him with indifference (and some annoyance, because seeing him reminded me of the aftermath of our break-up). But mostly indifference.
Now whenever I express irritation about him to my friends, they immediately ask if I still love him. Like hell. His son keeps asking me to hang out with them before he heads back home, and I keep refusing. He interprets that as unrequited feelings, and it's really annoying. How many times and in how many languages do I have to explain myself?
It's like I don't allow myself to fall for the same person twice because I remember how last time turned out. Do I still find him attractive? Sure, but it's about way more than that. And I just refuse to go there. Whenever a casual thing or a relationship ends, I don't look back nor do I want to relight the fire.
How do you ladies & gents handle it?
Bottom line, I know the ugliness of that persons character... and that is enough for me to never want to go there again.
Second time around, I am not so fearful though...
I would go out again and talk to the person again... but he is friendzoned. There is something about him that turned me off... so, I just could never go there again. I trust myself to get close without ANYTHING happening. My feelings and actions are much more in control. I'm not as free, willing and open as the first time. I'm not as dreamy.
Did you learn from the experience? Grow? Become a better person because of his experience? Become more wise?
If so, hold on to THAT more than the memory of someone taking advantage of you.
Shift your focus where you once felt like a victim in the story, you now feel like the winner.
That way, you won't feel annoyed for too long. You will feel much better just knowing you decided never to have him that close to you again. You have the power, no longer a victim.
click to expand
That worked for like 7-8 years until I met Jethro (Virgo demigod). Now, I love him more than I ever loved Chris and that's because it's like he restarted my heart from scratch as opposed to simply being the next person I develop feelings for. I used to describe Chris as the love of my life......no longer, there's a new "champion". But I can't even have him, because he's straight.
And for the past 6 months in particular I've been having the most intense suicidal thoughts ever. Because giving up Chris almost killed me, and now I love Jed even more than I loved Chris. Having to let him go will surely drive me clinically insane. And I'll have to look forward to living another 7-8 years like a zombie.....if I even survive the first month. I've been in love with him for 2.5 years now, there's no remission.
Posted by Areyoumytwinflame"Mostly" being the operative word. Tsk tsk tsk.Posted by RemixGeneralFishyMostly jokesPosted by AreyoumytwinflameYou stick to those principles! Though at the end of the day, sex is just sex. Maybe you're attaching too much significance to it.Posted by RemixGeneralFishyYeah, when the sex is good that's a completely different factor. It's like a drug. I don't wanna date anyone else who's better at sex than me. You ain't gonna have me out here looking crazy stalking and hacking accounts to make sure you ain't giving my good dick away. No sir ?Posted by AreyoumytwinflameBAHAHA going from the frying pan straight into the fire, you sure got yourself in a pickle with that one.
I don't hold on to any residual feelings for anyone after a breakup. This is why I hated dating cancers. They wouldn't let there be an end. They would either ignore or ghost or whatever. It leaves loose ends for me and unable to move on.
If we break up though...I'm gone. I erase you from my memory bank. Even if it ended on good terms, I'll probably never care how you're doing. Maybe it's a coping mechanism. I wish my Scorpio ex would understand this lol.
I did sort of end up with some residual feelings with my first love, a Taurus. I fell for him but he had a sex addiction problem, all he cared about was sex sex sex and wasn't open to an emotional commitment. Few months after I left, we ran into each other and it was like no time had passed. Just for that night; oh if the walls could talk.......but that was it, we didn't exchange new numbers. He went his way and I went my way and that's all folks.
Then a year or so later I met this Virgo. He was my second love, and the Virgo demigod I keep going on about lol is my third love.
click to expand
Are you not with the young Demi God, fishy?
I fell in love with a Virgo twice, three times, maybe 4 lol. I once considered him the "one that got way." Lol. I loved him because he had everything I needed and wanted. I either meet people who have what I need, but nothing I want, or they have what I want but nothing I need. So he was perfect to me. But he ruined the relationship by constantly second guessing my love for him. So, oh well.
Posted by SweetLily89Oh we did have that sit-down against my wishes. He's a pushy one and I made him regret every bit of it. It's just a stupid move, poking an angry wolf with a prodder. I let him have every bit of it and it was something he won't soon forget. He barely did any talking because I just didn't care what his answers were. For me it wasn't about closure because the damage was already done. No amounts of closure can fix the lack of faith & trust I have in anyone else that they won't do the same thing.Posted by RemixGeneralFishyMy gawwwd, you are preaching to the choir lol. I can't say that the resentment is still there towards my ex, but I don't trust him any further than I can throw him. With all that said, the past is in the past and there is no changing it. I'm sorry your ex put you through all that.Posted by SweetLily89For me it's not like hard feelings because it was a bad breakup. I initiated the breakup because I wanted to give him a chance to give his young son a life with his parents together. I was hurt that he didn't fight hard to keep us together, but I suppose he saw reason in what I was trying to do.
I agree with @aquarius_beauty. People do change and it's been many years since you've last been together.
That said, I understand the feeling. I have no interest in rekindling a romance with either of my exes. My one ex reached out some months ago this is 7 years after our breakup and I honestly don't even have the slightest interest in being his friend much less anything more than that. Some of us are able to "start over" and others are not. There is no right or wrong answer, it's what each individual feels comfortable. In my case, though there had been a point in the past that I had started to "fall" for him I had finally come to terms that I simply can't pretend that what happened didn't.
It's just that the way he went about things at first (I didn't even find out he had a son until a full year later), and I saw how he still had great chemistry with the boy's mom and I felt like the bad 4th wheel. Half of me meant the gesture, but the other half wanted him to pick me over them. And then everything I went through afterwards while trying to get over him - that's all it is, resentment for all that crap. And to make things worse, they didn't last a month together. He's been single this whole time. So I went through all that shit for fucking nothing!
There's no love on my side whatsoever.
I will say that after having a talk with my ex ,I was finally able to get some closure. Getting some answers to all the questions I had for so many years. Maybe, you two need a sit down to clear the air, if you both are open to it.
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Over the Xmas holidays I saw my Virgo ex again for the first time in 7-8 years. And for some reason, everyone was flabbergasted that I reacted to him with indifference (and some annoyance, because seeing him reminded me of the aftermath of our break-up). But mostly indifference.
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It's like I don't allow myself to fall for the same person twice because I remember how last time turned out. Do I still find him attractive? Sure, but it's about way more than that. And I just refuse to go there. Whenever a casual thing or a relationship ends, I don't look back nor do I want to relight the fire.
How do you ladies & gents handle it?