How many people here in these relationships? Not just colour differences, but cultural, linguistic, religious, and have they been more difficult?
Interracial
I've always dated African American men. Im Puerto Rican. I don't necessarily look very p.r. I have pale olive skin, golden brown hair and blue eyes... so I look white.
Never had any major personal issues with it, other then a learning curve about race differences. Never had any outside issues with it other then the occasional dirty looks. It's been mostly A.A. women who have been the only ones vocally rude about it or given the most dirty looks.
I have heard stories from other people about their own struggles with family not accepting it.
Never had any major personal issues with it, other then a learning curve about race differences. Never had any outside issues with it other then the occasional dirty looks. It's been mostly A.A. women who have been the only ones vocally rude about it or given the most dirty looks.
I have heard stories from other people about their own struggles with family not accepting it.
Posted by JanMayMarryPosted by AneemA04
Its alright. Its interesting to find out the values and culture they hold on to.
How did you manage the religion issue? That's the hardest part of it all, isn't it?click to expand
I don't think it's difficult if there is respect without a control issue present. We are all different, yet we really can live together. He does his thing, I do mine. Couples don't always have to be joined together at the hip lol except in the bedroom lol. When you climb different mountains each day you have something to talk about in the evening. IMO
Posted by Sola
How many people here in these relationships? Not just colour differences, but cultural, linguistic, religious, and have they been more difficult?
I am and no, I have never found this to be a problem in any way.
Posted by Ixion
It's fine, just you have to understand that there will be differences, and here is the secret: both of you have to respect those differences.
This statement is pretty accurate. I've only had one major altercation. I was talking with A.A. women about being a woman. It wasn't racist, I just said it was hard being a woman in general no matter what race you are... I dont see color so in my mind every woman struggles. Well, the A.A. women took this very personal and started arguing with me. My partner who was also A.A. defended the A.A. women in the argument..
It started a fight with him and 2 days later I was at an even with my best friend, I didnt go with him but he ended up going...when he saw me he came up to me... grabbed me by the arm and pulled me away from my friend..started yelling at me in the middle of the street, grabbed the soda I had in my hand and threw it in the middle of the street and continued yelling at me in public calling me a racist.... when all I said was that all women struggle.
It was the first and only time I was ever accused of being a racist. Looking back maybe I should have just not gotten in the middle of that already heated discussion about how A.A. women struggle. I also learned that other than what women go through, there are some cultures who have it even worse. I'm not white, but I'm also not black. At the same time I feel they werent really listening to my point of view and just wanted to feel justified with feeling like they were the only women in the world that struggle. In the end both sides I think didnt respect the other. Lesson learned.
I have been in a long-term relationship with someone who spoke a different language, from a different religious background (Hindu). But the chemistry was good, sex was great, and no issues other than what a normal couple would face.
Until the more serious topic of settling down came up, and all hell broke loose!
Until the more serious topic of settling down came up, and all hell broke loose!
Posted by JanMayMarryPosted by tctaapPosted by JanMayMarryPosted by AneemA04
Its alright. Its interesting to find out the values and culture they hold on to.
How did you manage the religion issue? That's the hardest part of it all, isn't it?
I don't think it's difficult if there is respect without a control issue present. We are all different, yet we really can live together. He does his thing, I do mine. Couples don't always have to be joined together at the hip lol except in the bedroom lol. When you climb different mountains each day you have something to talk about in the evening. IMO
Ayyye! I didn't know you're in the same boat. LoooL! For my religion, it is difficult. I can't marry someone from different religion. People might think that's absurd but we have our valid reasons. đclick to expand
Well now that is a problem - I'm apparently not as devoted to religion as others are. I'm more spiritual than religious and I don't believe my or any God would look down on love and goodness no matter what. I believe that is what we are here for. Again, this is just me!
I'm in one. No big deal in it though because neither of us are religious.
However my ex-husband, dated a girl for about 3 years that was a strict Muslim. He's always been agnostic bordering on atheist. For a year, he gave up pork and and studied the Koran. Without him converting, she couldn't even talk about him to her family. And she didn't want him to "convert" for the sake of marriage, like her cousin's husband and not really practice. Eventhough they loved each other, they broke up because he knew he would never really believe in religion. So he broke it off for that reason, not lack of love.
However my ex-husband, dated a girl for about 3 years that was a strict Muslim. He's always been agnostic bordering on atheist. For a year, he gave up pork and and studied the Koran. Without him converting, she couldn't even talk about him to her family. And she didn't want him to "convert" for the sake of marriage, like her cousin's husband and not really practice. Eventhough they loved each other, they broke up because he knew he would never really believe in religion. So he broke it off for that reason, not lack of love.
Posted by JanMayMarryPosted by tctaapPosted by JanMayMarryPosted by tctaapPosted by JanMayMarryPosted by AneemA04
Its alright. Its interesting to find out the values and culture they hold on to.
How did you manage the religion issue? That's the hardest part of it all, isn't it?
I don't think it's difficult if there is respect without a control issue present. We are all different, yet we really can live together. He does his thing, I do mine. Couples don't always have to be joined together at the hip lol except in the bedroom lol. When you climb different mountains each day you have something to talk about in the evening. IMO
Ayyye! I didn't know you're in the same boat. LoooL! For my religion, it is difficult. I can't marry someone from different religion. People might think that's absurd but we have our valid reasons. đ
Well now that is a problem - I'm apparently not as devoted to religion as others are. I'm more spiritual than religious and I don't believe my or any God would look down on love and goodness no matter what. I believe that is what we are here for. Again, this is just me!
I understand where you're coming from but my problems are already solved. So, it's all good. đclick to expand
good for you! others I'm sure have this same difficulty however and I just can't imagine how hard that must be
I've been with women from many many different countries so I'd have to write a book to give a full response.
I live in The Netherlands (though I'm actually Colombian) and my Libra fiancee is Dutch. We communicate in Dutch, so language is not a problem although I miss being able to express certain nuances and emotions to her in Spanish, which can't really be translated. Our cultural differences do clash at times, especially when it comes to the way we do things. I'm slower and like taking my time and she's fast and likes to get things done NOW. Luckily we have both grown more towards each others style s and find a balance. Also there are times I feel a bit frustrated when she's not that much into certain aspects of my culture the way I am, like dancing salsa and other types of Latin music. Obviously she doesnt have to, as shes free to like what she wants. We do dance sometimes though, and she's starting to like it even more đ
Im more dramatic when I fall I'll, Im rarely I'll. She's more rational.
That's all I can remember right now
I live in The Netherlands (though I'm actually Colombian) and my Libra fiancee is Dutch. We communicate in Dutch, so language is not a problem although I miss being able to express certain nuances and emotions to her in Spanish, which can't really be translated. Our cultural differences do clash at times, especially when it comes to the way we do things. I'm slower and like taking my time and she's fast and likes to get things done NOW. Luckily we have both grown more towards each others style s and find a balance. Also there are times I feel a bit frustrated when she's not that much into certain aspects of my culture the way I am, like dancing salsa and other types of Latin music. Obviously she doesnt have to, as shes free to like what she wants. We do dance sometimes though, and she's starting to like it even more đ
Im more dramatic when I fall I'll, Im rarely I'll. She's more rational.
That's all I can remember right now
Posted by IxionPosted by SeaLionPosted by Ixion
It's fine, just you have to understand that there will be differences, and here is the secret: both of you have to respect those differences.
This statement is pretty accurate. I've only had one major altercation. I was talking with A.A. women about being a woman. It wasn't racist, I just said it was hard being a woman in general no matter what race you are... I dont see color so in my mind every woman struggles. Well, the A.A. women took this very personal and started arguing with me. My partner who was also A.A. defended the A.A. women in the argument..
It started a fight with him and 2 days later I was at an even with my best friend, I didnt go with him but he ended up going...when he saw me he came up to me... grabbed me by the arm and pulled me away from my friend..started yelling at me in the middle of the street, grabbed the soda I had in my hand and threw it in the middle of the street and continued yelling at me in public calling me a racist.... when all I said was that all women struggle.
It was the first and only time I was ever accused of being a racist. Looking back maybe I should have just not gotten in the middle of that already heated discussion about how A.A. women struggle. I also learned that other than what women go through, there are some cultures who have it even worse. I'm not white, but I'm also not black. At the same time I feel they werent really listening to my point of view and just wanted to feel justified with feeling like they were the only women in the world that struggle. In the end both sides I think didnt respect the other. Lesson learned.
I will withhold commentary for the purposes of maintaining my peace.click to expand
Ha. It was a shitty situation that got out of control. I learned to be more sensitive of other cultures feelings from it tho. If what I had said was really racist dude wouldn't have still wanted to be with me afterwards, but he did. I don't get in the middle of racial arguments anymore. Zip it and walk away. Save the peace. You can talk about it all you want, I'm leaving the room and not getting involved. It's not worth the stress and in the end neither side really wins.
Posted by IxionPosted by SeaLionPosted by IxionPosted by SeaLionPosted by Ixion
It's fine, just you have to understand that there will be differences, and here is the secret: both of you have to respect those differences.
This statement is pretty accurate. I've only had one major altercation. I was talking with A.A. women about being a woman. It wasn't racist, I just said it was hard being a woman in general no matter what race you are... I dont see color so in my mind every woman struggles. Well, the A.A. women took this very personal and started arguing with me. My partner who was also A.A. defended the A.A. women in the argument..
It started a fight with him and 2 days later I was at an even with my best friend, I didnt go with him but he ended up going...when he saw me he came up to me... grabbed me by the arm and pulled me away from my friend..started yelling at me in the middle of the street, grabbed the soda I had in my hand and threw it in the middle of the street and continued yelling at me in public calling me a racist.... when all I said was that all women struggle.
It was the first and only time I was ever accused of being a racist. Looking back maybe I should have just not gotten in the middle of that already heated discussion about how A.A. women struggle. I also learned that other than what women go through, there are some cultures who have it even worse. I'm not white, but I'm also not black. At the same time I feel they werent really listening to my point of view and just wanted to feel justified with feeling like they were the only women in the world that struggle. In the end both sides I think didnt respect the other. Lesson learned.
I will withhold commentary for the purposes of maintaining my peace.
Ha. It was a shitty situation that got out of control. I learned to be more sensitive of other cultures feelings from it tho. If what I had said was really racist dude wouldn't have still wanted to be with me afterwards, but he did. I don't get in the middle of racial arguments anymore. Zip it and walk away. Save the peace. You can talk about it all you want, I'm leaving the room and not getting involved. It's not worth the stress and in the end neither side really wins.
No Justice, No Peace.
click to expand
This is true too.
Iâve never had an issue except once when I dated a Muslim dude. His dad worked for the embassy and he spent the last part of his teen years in Greece so it led me to believe he was more open minded about western culture. Not the case at all.
If I had stayed in that relationship I wouldâve been the only one to change my way of life. Zero compromising from his side of things.
If I had stayed in that relationship I wouldâve been the only one to change my way of life. Zero compromising from his side of things.
Posted by Black-MambaPosted by SeaLionPosted by Ixion
It's fine, just you have to understand that there will be differences, and here is the secret: both of you have to respect those differences.
This statement is pretty accurate. I've only had one major altercation. I was talking with A.A. women about being a woman. It wasn't racist, I just said it was hard being a woman in general no matter what race you are... I dont see color so in my mind every woman struggles. Well, the A.A. women took this very personal and started arguing with me. My partner who was also A.A. defended the A.A. women in the argument..
It started a fight with him and 2 days later I was at an even with my best friend, I didnt go with him but he ended up going...when he saw me he came up to me... grabbed me by the arm and pulled me away from my friend..started yelling at me in the middle of the street, grabbed the soda I had in my hand and threw it in the middle of the street and continued yelling at me in public calling me a racist.... when all I said was that all women struggle.
It was the first and only time I was ever accused of being a racist. Looking back maybe I should have just not gotten in the middle of that already heated discussion about how A.A. women struggle. I also learned that other than what women go through, there are some cultures who have it even worse. I'm not white, but I'm also not black. At the same time I feel they werent really listening to my point of view and just wanted to feel justified with feeling like they were the only women in the world that struggle. In the end both sides I think didnt respect the other. Lesson learned.
Just wow
I am right to give black men the stink eye
They really out here dating women that try to equate blak women struggle to their basic life shitclick to expand
Itâs hard when they run out of the pumpkin spice lattes. You donât understand the struggle cc
Posted by Black-MambaPosted by LadyNeptune
Iâve never had an issue except once when I dated a Muslim dude. His dad worked for the embassy and he spent the last part of his teen years in Greece so it led me to believe he was more open minded about western culture. Not the case at all.
If I had stayed in that relationship I wouldâve been the only one to change my way of life. Zero compromising from his side of things.
Yep they're very selfish ppl. Why i hate that religion
You would have lost your childrenclick to expand
And yet a lot of Westerners see racism/xenophobia in the idea that it's THEM (who move to the West) that need to adapt to our way of life and our laws.
Posted by Black-MambaPosted by LadyNeptune
Iâve never had an issue except once when I dated a Muslim dude. His dad worked for the embassy and he spent the last part of his teen years in Greece so it led me to believe he was more open minded about western culture. Not the case at all.
If I had stayed in that relationship I wouldâve been the only one to change my way of life. Zero compromising from his side of things.
Yep they're very selfish ppl. Why i hate that religion
You would have lost your childrenclick to expand
Which is fine. Stick to your religion and morals. Just hated how he misrepresented himself for the first few months. Then when I was ready for next level he went 180 on everything he had said previously.
Posted by Black-Mamba
i stated being really open bout it a few years back and accepting
Now
I'm back to it not being a great idea
50% of the country supports Trumpi feel sorry
For interracial children
More like 35% . The electoral college really screws us over.
Take heart. At least half of that 35% is gonna be dead within a decade.
I've dated guys from lots of different countries/religions/races...this is different because we're not religious individuals but our families are more likely to be the potentially negative influences. Anyway, I'm thinking ahead but I like to read about people's experiences đ
When it comes to the language barrier it can be kinda awkward being around his family and they are all speaking Spanish, quickly too. I canât keep up.
But they are lovely. Really welcoming.
Still it makes me wish that my mom wouldâve spoke Spanish to us growing up. I could be bilingual. But my dad didnât allow it in the house đđ dickhead
But they are lovely. Really welcoming.
Still it makes me wish that my mom wouldâve spoke Spanish to us growing up. I could be bilingual. But my dad didnât allow it in the house đđ dickhead
I speak Spanish đ He speaks French and Arabic âş
Speaking a lot of languages is not always just great, I speak Spanish, Dutch, English, German, Italian and some Portugese. It sometimes makes me feel and seem like I have a multiple personality disorder.
Posted by rejuvenatedheartPosted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Speaking a lot of languages is not always just great, I speak Spanish, Dutch, English, German, Italian and some Portugese. It sometimes makes me feel and seem like I have a multiple personality disorder.
Which language is your primary?click to expand
The one I use mostly? Dutch and English. Spanish is my native one, I speak it mostly with my relatives and some friends. German, Italian and Portuguese mostly with clients and friends from those regions
My Pisces ex is from the Balkans while I'm Asian and we were together for half a year and it was great
It was different culturally, I swore to not drink or smoke in my entire life while she smoked hookah for 6 years now and counting and she also drinks and gets drunk (beer mostly)
Other than that it went really well, the sun moon conjunction double whammy plus mars conjunct venus really helped out in our synastry charts đ
It was different culturally, I swore to not drink or smoke in my entire life while she smoked hookah for 6 years now and counting and she also drinks and gets drunk (beer mostly)
Other than that it went really well, the sun moon conjunction double whammy plus mars conjunct venus really helped out in our synastry charts đ
đ I'll go more in-depth later on your post and nanobot's too.
Differences can make it a bit more challenging but more interesting. I like it
I have been in those relationships, my country is very mixed but I look white, dated someone dark skinned here, is kinda cool when you see someone naked and colors somewhere are different, but people is so different anyway that kind of things happens even in the same race.
now cultural RS are a completely different beast đ and can be complicated, some things are very interesting, but people make some generalization that can be annoying at times, and there are moment when I see some things I'm like Huh? đ
now cultural RS are a completely different beast đ and can be complicated, some things are very interesting, but people make some generalization that can be annoying at times, and there are moment when I see some things I'm like Huh? đ
Posted by ScorpioTruthPosted by SeaLionPosted by Ixion
It's fine, just you have to understand that there will be differences, and here is the secret: both of you have to respect those differences.
This statement is pretty accurate. I've only had one major altercation. I was talking with A.A. women about being a woman. It wasn't racist, I just said it was hard being a woman in general no matter what race you are... I dont see color so in my mind every woman struggles. Well, the A.A. women took this very personal and started arguing with me. My partner who was also A.A. defended the A.A. women in the argument..
It started a fight with him and 2 days later I was at an even with my best friend, I didnt go with him but he ended up going...when he saw me he came up to me... grabbed me by the arm and pulled me away from my friend..started yelling at me in the middle of the street, grabbed the soda I had in my hand and threw it in the middle of the street and continued yelling at me in public calling me a racist.... when all I said was that all women struggle.
It was the first and only time I was ever accused of being a racist. Looking back maybe I should have just not gotten in the middle of that already heated discussion about how A.A. women struggle. I also learned that other than what women go through, there are some cultures who have it even worse. I'm not white, but I'm also not black. At the same time I feel they werent really listening to my point of view and just wanted to feel justified with feeling like they were the only women in the world that struggle. In the end both sides I think didnt respect the other. Lesson learned.
While i understand that you were probably trying to relate with the women and find common ground with them, they most likely received what you were saying as a means to negate their grievances. They probably took it as you saying their feelings are not valid, and that all women are equally mistreated which is simply not true. As a white woman myself, I would never pretend to understand the plight of a black woman, nor would I ever try to minimize her grievances.
It would be like me sitting in a room full of lesbian women and trying to tell them âall women have it hardâ, not understanding that Iâve never walked in their shoes so Iâve never experienced the mistreatment that they have.
Sometimes itâs just better to listen and allow people to vent and to air their grievances, instead of trying to relate or even the score.click to expand
Yes I understand that now. This was years ago. I was nieve then. My point in sharing the story was I was agreeing with ixion saying people need to respect differences. It was an example as to how stuff can be blown out of proportion when those differences arent respected on either side. I didnt respect or understand the black woman struggle, and they did not respect or understand that I was nieve so instead of talking to me about it they chose to attack me. So now I dont try to relate or whatever, I dont even talk about it. Deep down inside I really don't give a shit. I dont care about race. I dont care if you're rich or poor. If you like guys or girls, or both. I dont care about your past. All I care about is here and now and how you treat me. If you dont like me... get lost. If you do like me.. awesome let's talk and see what we have in common. đ¤ˇââď¸
Posted by c0mrade
I have been in a long-term relationship with someone who spoke a different language, from a different religious background (Hindu). But the chemistry was good, sex was great, and no issues other than what a normal couple would face.
Until the more serious topic of settling down came up, and all hell broke loose!
Same. After that, i dont want any other religion.. and some other cultures... because so many restrictions.
Posted by Sola
I've dated guys from lots of different countries/religions/races...this is different because we're not religious individuals but our families are more likely to be the potentially negative influences. Anyway, I'm thinking ahead but I like to read about people's experiences đ
Beware of men from very conservative backgrounds (culture, religion). They might not say the truth in the beginning but down the line the story changes... esp those cultures which still practice arrange marriage
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Speaking a lot of languages is not always just great, I speak Spanish, Dutch, English, German, Italian and some Portugese. It sometimes makes me feel and seem like I have a multiple personality disorder.
Lol. I only speak 3 but I know what you mean. I am a different person with each one.
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