My ex girlfriend came back

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by GeminiSun on Friday, January 11, 2019 and has 18 replies.

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@GeminiSun
9 Years

Long story short: few days ago I received a text from my ex gf saying she wants to get back to me. The reason I broke up with her was because she was always acting distant claiming she was busy (she wasn't, i was just not in her priority list).. Our relationship lasted for a month. After 2 months of NC and me moving on and after a couple of nights out with our common colleagues, she decided to text me. She asked for a second chance claiming she wants to spend more time with me & to know me better (she obviously wants to take things slow). I agreed on that but I don't want to make the same mistakes (act clingy). I wanna make her chase and not take me for granted. She really broke my heart coz I was in love with her long time ago. Any tips?

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@GeminiSun
9 Years

Posted by HeartofTopazz

I think you should tell her you’re keeping your options open, but would enjoy hanging out as friends (in a group setting) before discussing anything further. Not enough history hurr

Sounds intriguing

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@GeminiSun
9 Years

Posted by Neshama

Posted by GeminiSun

I wanna make her chase and not take me for granted. She really broke my heart coz I was in love with her long time ago. Any tips?

That sounds more like you want revenge than a relationship.

click to expand

No. I don't wanna lose her again over the same mistakes and break my heart once again.

Profile picture of GeminiSun
@GeminiSun
9 Years

Posted by Neshama

Give her everything as you would have before. But tell her what you need from her in the relationship.

I've already told her that I feel broken & and I can't be the person I was before.

Profile picture of FireStarter
@FireStarter
7 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by GeminiSun

Posted by Neshama

Give her everything as you would have before. But tell her what you need from her in the relationship.

I've already told her that I feel broken & and I can't be the person I was before.

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How did she respond? Because if you're still hurting and it's not resloved and you don't give it time, going back into this relationship could just cause it to end prematurely even if she does indeed change.

Profile picture of GeminiSun
@GeminiSun
9 Years

She said she's broken too but she put a lot of thought on us lately and realized she would like to work things out. She also mentioned that she's not the same person anymore. She wants to invest more time in us. However, she didn't mention anything about us being in a relationship again rather than spending time knowing each other.

Profile picture of FireStarter
@FireStarter
7 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by GeminiSun

She said she's broken too but she put a lot of thought on us lately and realized she would like to work things out. She also mentioned that she's not the same person anymore. She wants to invest more time in us. However, she didn't mention anything about us being in a relationship again rather than spending time knowing each other.

That might be for the best. Try just being friends, relearning things about each other. In the meantime maybe you both can heal and grow before you put lables on anything and commit to a relationship again.

Profile picture of Pandora101
@Pandora101
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by GeminiSun

Long story short: few days ago I received a text from my ex gf saying she wants to get back to me. The reason I broke up with her was because she was always acting distant claiming she was busy (she wasn't, i was just not in her priority list).. Our relationship lasted for a month. After 2 months of NC and me moving on and after a couple of nights out with our common colleagues, she decided to text me. She asked for a second chance claiming she wants to spend more time with me & to know me better (she obviously wants to take things slow). I agreed on that but I don't want to make the same mistakes (act clingy). I wanna make her chase and not take me for granted. She really broke my heart coz I was in love with her long time ago. Any tips?

so, after you went out with common colleagues, she wants you back...... now, how these events were? what she saw in you what she previously didnt? how you acted in those group settings? were there other girls as well? were you flirting? were you funny, entertaining? have you looked like you moved on? something has triggered her and intrigued her.... now, just be the person you were at the collegues-meeting, and she will stay intrigued, my guess

Profile picture of GeminiSun
@GeminiSun
9 Years

Posted by Pandora101

Posted by GeminiSun

Long story short: few days ago I received a text from my ex gf saying she wants to get back to me. The reason I broke up with her was because she was always acting distant claiming she was busy (she wasn't, i was just not in her priority list).. Our relationship lasted for a month. After 2 months of NC and me moving on and after a couple of nights out with our common colleagues, she decided to text me. She asked for a second chance claiming she wants to spend more time with me & to know me better (she obviously wants to take things slow). I agreed on that but I don't want to make the same mistakes (act clingy). I wanna make her chase and not take me for granted. She really broke my heart coz I was in love with her long time ago. Any tips?

so, after you went out with common colleagues, she wants you back...... now, how these events were? what she saw in you what she previously didnt? how you acted in those group settings? were there other girls as well? were you flirting? were you funny, entertaining? have you looked like you moved on? something has triggered her and intrigued her.... now, just be the person you were at the collegues-meeting, and she will stay intrigued, my guess

click to expand

Nice question Pandora. I was quite surprised & I decided to ask her the same question. She told me that the months we went NC she had the time to reconsider some things about us. She claims that now she's more open to invest in us by getting to know each other better. Step by step. I guess she freaked out by how fast our relationship evolved and couldn't manage it.

I also guess the NC period as well as my distant/not clingy approach were the factors that made her come back to me. However, I can't always act like this. Well, I won't be clingy anymore for sure.. I also act busy.. Two days ago she asked me out with her friends but I kindly refused.

She calls me pet names. I call her "buddy" or "mate".

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@hydorah
13 Years10,000+ PostsPisces

When you feel you aren't in her priority list, it's generally that you aren't.

It will probably not get better so let her come back at you and see how she does but don't invest yourself too much into this relationship, she'll probably go back to her natural self.

Profile picture of GeminiSun
@GeminiSun
9 Years

Posted by hydorah

When you feel you aren't in her priority list, it's generally that you aren't.

It will probably not get better so let her come back at you and see how she does but don't invest too much into this relationship, she'll probably go back to her natural self.

That's what scares the shit out of me hydorah.. That nothing may change. Her coming back is probably an ego thing. There's a saying "When the past calls, don't answer. It has nothing new to say". Maybe I should consider it.

Profile picture of hydorah
@hydorah
13 Years10,000+ PostsPisces

Posted by GeminiSun

Posted by hydorah

When you feel you aren't in her priority list, it's generally that you aren't.

It will probably not get better so let her come back at you and see how she does but don't invest too much into this relationship, she'll probably go back to her natural self.

That's what scares the shit out of me hydorah.. That nothing may change. Her coming back is probably an ego thing. There's a saying "When the past calls, don't answer. It has nothing new to say". Maybe I should consider it.

click to expand

you can give her a chance, just make sure you can't get burned

Profile picture of GeminiSun
@GeminiSun
9 Years

Posted by hydorah

Posted by GeminiSun

Posted by hydorah

When you feel you aren't in her priority list, it's generally that you aren't.

It will probably not get better so let her come back at you and see how she does but don't invest too much into this relationship, she'll probably go back to her natural self.

That's what scares the shit out of me hydorah.. That nothing may change. Her coming back is probably an ego thing. There's a saying "When the past calls, don't answer. It has nothing new to say". Maybe I should consider it.

you can give her a chance, just make sure you can't get burned

click to expand

I'll built strong walls around me. This is what love supposed to be though?

Profile picture of hydorah
@hydorah
13 Years10,000+ PostsPisces

Posted by GeminiSun

Posted by hydorah

Posted by GeminiSun

Posted by hydorah

When you feel you aren't in her priority list, it's generally that you aren't.

It will probably not get better so let her come back at you and see how she does but don't invest too much into this relationship, she'll probably go back to her natural self.

That's what scares the shit out of me hydorah.. That nothing may change. Her coming back is probably an ego thing. There's a saying "When the past calls, don't answer. It has nothing new to say". Maybe I should consider it.

you can give her a chance, just make sure you can't get burned

I'll built strong walls around me. This is what love supposed to be though?

click to expand

it's never what you think it is