Not moaning or saying a word during sex... ?!?!?

Have you ever been with a guy that just doesn't like "expressing" himself much during sex? I mean he knows&does the right things, and gets you really hot, but while pleasing him or having sex he just doesn't say anything, no moans, no words, nothing... he just lies there, with his eyes closed... It's like I'm feeling I'm the only one in the room who is having some great time... And I did ask him why is he like this, and he said that he likes to enjoy things silently ?!?!? Is it so? He's the first person I encountered to act like this. Maybe he's introvert or something... How can I help him express more - or I should not? I'm all about being passionate and wild and ACTING this way, while he's the opposite sort of...

Posted by Jason2213
Although I doubt it'd be like this the first few times, I'd imagine that only soft moans, sighs, groans, and grunts would come out of my mouth. No loud stuff from me.

Although he may not express himself verbally, inside your guy may be panting, moaning, and yelling your name, but keeps his mouth shut for fear of letting anyone within earshot in on what's going down. Many people--especially when young--are taught that sexual activities--masturbation, oral sex, intercourse, etc.--are best kept secret. This belief remains with many adults long after mom or dad would ever "catch" us in a sex act, but is powerful enough to keep us quiet for a long time. His stillness and apparent lack of reaction could also come from feeling nervous, tense, or uncomfortable with part or all of what's going on.

I agree. I don't think the whole world needs to know you're having sex. It's rather unnecessary and inconsiderate of people to be all loud and shit, IMO.



But for him to just "lay there" and not give you any feedback at all sounds like quite a turn-off.
Maybe you two just aren't meant to be sexually.

Posted by BellaBulleautiful
I know you did baby girl.I don't doubt ya aaaat all 😉


yeah, I'm sure age is a factor.Jason, by 40 you're gonna be getting the law called on ya at least once.

LMAO!!! "Uummm 911 I'd like to report someone REALLY enjoying sex next door!"

Posted by brianafay

Posted by Jason2213
Although I doubt it'd be like this the first few times, I'd imagine that only soft moans, sighs, groans, and grunts would come out of my mouth. No loud stuff from me.

Although he may not express himself verbally, inside your guy may be panting, moaning, and yelling your name, but keeps his mouth shut for fear of letting anyone within earshot in on what's going down. Many people--especially when young--are taught that sexual activities--masturbation, oral sex, intercourse, etc.--are best kept secret. This belief remains with many adults long after mom or dad would ever "catch" us in a sex act, but is powerful enough to keep us quiet for a long time. His stillness and apparent lack of reaction could also come from feeling nervous, tense, or uncomfortable with part or all of what's going on.

I agree. I don't think the whole world needs to know you're having sex. It's rather unnecessary and inconsiderate of people to be all loud and shit, IMO.



But for him to just "lay there" and not give you any feedback at all sounds like quite a turn-off.
Maybe you two just aren't meant to be sexually.

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haha, i try to be quieter but i don't realize how noisy i am being. i'm off in some other universe usually. the guy i'm with now tells me to cum loudly. it's a turn on for him. sorry neighbors! at least i'm not that yappy dog upstairs!

yeah, "lol", "lol" as much as you want 😛.. but it's no "lol" for me.
I should add that we are in the beginning of our relationship, so I'm making my best to understand him and know how he is and what he prefers, etc. I consider him a great lover, he kisses with passion, and knows how and where and when to touch me - I've experienced some great "explorations" (but I also let him know if I like it or not)... Oh, I don't know if this counts, but he's an Aries (and I always thought they are somehow wild). And he's mature, no youngster, so can't blame it on age...
I just wanted an opinion from you guys... I think that communication is the key, and I will put my all in it.

Hmmm...for what its worth, I don't make any noise during sex either.

There's a reason for this, so maybe there's a reason for why your man just 'lays there with his eyes closed'

Talk about it

I always tell a man I like them to talk to me during sex... tell me what feels good, tell me what you like... keep me going! LOL

^When my libra tries to talk dirty to me I just bust out laughing. I can't even help it.

"funk that junk"....lol 😄

Hmmm... well, Im very verbal and can be a little loud during sex and I like my man to be too. Turns me on to hear him moan with pleasure, especially to say my name when he cums. I dont think Ive ever experienced anyone who was totally silent or just laid there with his eyes closed. I would say there may be a reason for it but maybe its something hes not comfortable with discussing with you if you have previously tried to bring it up and by some of your comments it appears that you have discussed it. If he is pleasing you sexually and you are totally satisfied with the love making, than maybe its just an adjustment that you may need to make in order to accept his ways for waht they are. Relationships are about compromise and sometimes there are things that just arent worth worrying too much about in the long run. Hell, just enjoy it and do your thing. If you are comfortable being verbal, than be a little verbal and see if it eventually brings him around as well.

Maybe you just aren't making him hot enough.

Posted by FeistyAquarian

Posted by brianafay
^When my libra tries to talk dirty to me I just bust out laughing. I can't even help it.

haha Same here! It just seems funny coming from Aries 😛


And as for the OP again, personally, I would be freaked out if my guy made a lot of noise...lol I'd rather be the noisy one but I like whispering and hard breathing. All that's hot, to me 😄

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LOL!! I know. Unless you know how to do it right than don't do it lol. I can't do it so I don't. I was with a guy who tried but I could tell that it was totally not his thing xD

Most guys are fairly silent aren't they? I know that it depends on how it feels for me whether I'm going to moan or not...it's not a fake thing it's involuntary...I've found 😄

Rheea this type of guy is as bad as the women who yell OH MY GOD OH MY GOD then pass out.

lol, people are so fucked up, seriously.


If you have issue with noise, or lack thereof .... then there's no hope for anything in the relationship that is valuable, like trust, respect, etc.


If he isn't moaning during sex, then nothing else matters ....... keep bitching about it because you are letting yourself feel this resentment, so you can continue to keep calling this attraction to you.


Meantime, let's hope he is thinking/feeling about respect and trust .. so that he can call to him a woman who holds in high regard the things in life that matter .... which is not sex noises.

Posted by BellaBulleautiful

Posted by james tate
Rheea this type of guy is as bad as the women who yell OH MY GOD OH MY GOD then pass out.

loosen the rope tate.duh.

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Ah HA HA HA!!! When are men gonna learn that we call them God during sex in order to keep from calling them by someone else's name—

Posted by P-Angel
lol, people are so fucked up, seriously.


If you have issue with noise, or lack thereof .... then there's no hope for anything in the relationship that is valuable, like trust, respect, etc.


If he isn't moaning during sex, then nothing else matters ....... keep bitching about it because you are letting yourself feel this resentment, so you can continue to keep calling this attraction to you.


Meantime, let's hope he is thinking/feeling about respect and trust .. so that he can call to him a woman who holds in high regard the things in life that matter .... which is not sex noises.

I am not judging "sex noises" or feel like having issues; I just felt a bit awkward as it had never happened with a guy before. With time I may adjust, who knows...

Posted by Jason2213

Posted by Rheea
yeah, "lol", "lol" as much as you want 😛.. but it's no "lol" for me.
I should add that we are in the beginning of our relationship, so I'm making my best to understand him and know how he is and what he prefers, etc. I consider him a great lover, he kisses with passion, and knows how and where and when to touch me - I've experienced some great "explorations" (but I also let him know if I like it or not)... Oh, I don't know if this counts, but he's an Aries (and I always thought they are somehow wild). And he's mature, no youngster, so can't blame it on age...
I just wanted an opinion from you guys... I think that communication is the key, and I will put my all in it.

The bold part right there. Thats sounds awesome to me. His mind is definitely steamed up.

Perhaps this just needs some getting used to.

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And Jason... I think you are right on that 🙂

O.K. I am sorry I called you Jean it won't happen again.

I think that's pretty not to make some type of sound, i mean people minds drift off towards 'what i'm going to wear to the club tomorrow?' 'i need to borrow 20 bucks from my mom', come damn, i think you need to tell him to interact with you more or he's going to continue to be silent.

Posted by The-Dream
I think that's pretty not to make some type of sound, i mean people minds drift off towards 'what i'm going to wear to the club tomorrow?' 'i need to borrow 20 bucks from my mom', come damn, i think you need to tell him to interact with you more or he's going to continue to be silent.

Pfff... I hope he's not thinking about that...
Yeah, interact is what I'll definitely do.

Don't worry about the few quid. You can pay me latter I know you , you would never beat me out of a few quid you would owe me to the day you die.

Posted by deemnsout4ever

Posted by LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved

Posted by BellaBulleautiful

Posted by james tate
Rheea this type of guy is as bad as the women who yell OH MY GOD OH MY GOD then pass out.

loosen the rope tate.duh.

Ah HA HA HA!!! When are men gonna learn that we call them God during sex in order to keep from calling them by someone else's name—

Why do you think we like doing chicks from behind so much — 🙂

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Because you like to think you are all animals!! GRRR!!! LOL!!!

Posted by Rheea
Have you ever been with a guy that just doesn't like "expressing" himself much during sex? I mean he knows&does the right things, and gets you really hot, but while pleasing him or having sex he just doesn't say anything, no moans, no words, nothing... he just lies there, with his eyes closed... It's like I'm feeling I'm the only one in the room who is having some great time... And I did ask him why is he like this, and he said that he likes to enjoy things silently ?!?!? Is it so? He's the first person I encountered to act like this. Maybe he's introvert or something... How can I help him express more - or I should not? I'm all about being passionate and wild and ACTING this way, while he's the opposite sort of...

Perhaps he IS expressing himself in a non-verbal fashion. I, personally, don't like someone who talks too much! More specifically - I don't like being asked "is it good?" or "whose is it?" repeatedly - Is it annoying.

However, if I were in bed w/a man whose breathing didn't become deeper/louder or a moan/grunt at climax - I would be weirded out.

To the original poster. I can't speak for all guys and your guy specifucally but I think generally speaking most guys don't moan during sex. We breath, pant, maybe groan but that's it. Having sex with a woman doesn't make us wanna moan. His sensation during sex is alot different from hers. I think women moan because it is in some way a sound of submissiveness and effection. Men like to hear their women moan, because it strokes their ego and turns them on. If guys moan then they can't hear her moans. Besides a guys moaning just sounds silly IMO.

Some guys moan, and get all wild. Maybe they just like the sound of their own voices. What do the rest of you guys think? Which on of you's are moaners in here?

the whole thread moans

For me it depends on the woman. If she encourages me to talk, make noise, etc., then I do, but I feel self-conscious with a woman who's quiet herself, though I try to do enough to show her that I'm enjoying it!

ummm .... he's trying not to come.

omg if a dude was moaning and making porno noises while we were effing i would come unglued laughing. and then i'd tell my friends because i'd think it was weird. girls are loud but the guys being loud is just weird

Posted by Rheea
he just lies there, with his eyes closed...

The heck...is he imaging someone else?

I love hearing him (the guy I've been with for a while now) moan. It's the psychological aspect of it I suppose. The fact that I can verbally hear how much I'm pleasing him makes me a happy gal. When they're quiet it can be a bit mundane, but too much noise can be a bit tricky; especially if you're in a room next to another person that probably would not want to hear that. 🙂

It depends on the person though. Some people make breath very heavily as opposed to moaning.

Well, my birthday is coming soon, and we've decided to escape from reality a bit 🙂) I'm also adapting to his "silent passion" let's say. As long as we are great together, nothing matters... Right now I'm not trying to explain anything anymore, just live the moment 🙂

Posted by Jason2213

😛