Physically abusive /Wife beaters...

What do you think about wife beaters...

Or

Physically abusive people in general when intoxicated...

Do they deserve forgiveness in your heart?

Or...if you had the magical ability..

Would you *snap* them out of your life

immidiatly as soon as you find out about

their abusive past even if they haven't laid hands on you?

My ex Leo thought I was cheating him on him once and drove over to my house drunk grabbed me by hair and dragged my across the the grass than through me against a wall screaming at me. He never hit my face or me though. Even though that was totally out of line. It never happened again.

I wasn't really that scared either. I also sprayed his whole face and back with Pepper spray and almost blinded him lol

He washed it off and we have sex lmao

I was like 26 when this stuff happened. Things like that happen when you're young.

We have forgiven each other and are friends despite all that.

If I was ever in a situation where I was continually getting physical beatings I would straight up kill the person family or not so I really couldn't even be imagine being in a situation like that let alone forgiving.

I think it's important not to fear death though. I have had so many near death experiences in my life. 2 days ago another happened where a car crashed right near the side walk and almost collided into me and my dog. Everyone around me was crying and shaking and I remember just feeling like "eh" I almost died this year in a car crash I was in.

Life is very short. You need to live the best you can

@Jumping_Jupiter

I need to go buy more. I ripped a few of my wife beaters.

Some of these responses 🤦🏼‍♀️ I can’t

It’s fine to forgive them ...for your own peace

But that doesn’t mean you let them abuse you again

I don’t think abuse should be forgiven. Abuse comes in many forms besides physical, mental and emotional abuse are just as bad and happen more often or are precursors to physical abuse.

If you can imagine having a child and your son or daughter is 5 or so and comes home crying and hurt 😞 and totally consumed in pain because someone is verbally abusing them or mentally or physically hurting them.....would you tell your child to find forgiveness in themselves to forgive the abuser?? Would you prepare your child to accept this?

Probably not, you’d get your shoes on and walk out the door and find that abuser and level them.

So why would or should anyone expect less of a fight for themselves or others?

Abusers don’t change. They can limit the extent of their abuse with the right therapy but they’ll always return to that form of conflict management and expression, just like long term alcoholism....they never fully cure themselves.

I think forgiveness should be given to people who can show clear compassion for others and create results from corrective therapy. If you don’t genuinely see someone changing their entire life to heal, and do nothing but talk or expect to be forgiven....you’re wasting your time even considering it.

I wish there was classes in high school that would teach students what abuse is and how to handle it in a healthy way and get the right help. This is typically when it starts.

Posted by Dreamy88

I mean

I love my women like my eggs

🤔 🤦

Posted by brianafay

It’s fine to forgive them ...for your own peace

But that doesn’t mean you let them abuse you again

forgive? fuck that.

more like forget them, in jail.

I had two aunts that were physically abused. Each time, he was ganged by the family until he got tired of getting his ass whipped. You'd think it'd take one time but, nope.

The other aunt, hid it from the family but, they'd catch him inconsistantly but, he eventually stopped.

People don't have huge families anymore... they were 13 strong.

Posted by ElvisStalinWoods

Posted by VenusAquarius

I had two aunts that were physically abused. Each time, he was ganged by the family until he got tired of getting his ass whipped. You'd think it'd take one time but, nope.

The other aunt, hid it from the family but, they'd catch him inconsistantly but, he eventually stopped.

People don't have huge families anymore... they were 13 strong.

Makes me think of my badass grandma from the Caribbean side. She had 10 daughters. Some guy made the mistake of beating on of them. In her 40s, with a kinked hip, she pulled up to the man's front door with a machete.

click to expand

My momma pulled a gun on his ass one time. I was sitting in the car. He threw her and the baby down the stairs.

I’d “forgive” them for myself. To be able to move on if it happened to me personally.

But if I found out the person was like that or had done that to another woman and now I’m with them. I’d let them go. Quick. I don’t want that drama in my life.

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've told her twice."

On a serious note, I've posted about my past, so many have read it already. But my family has generational history with abuse. My grandmother was with a man that promised to stop drinking. Promised to change.

It never lasted, it just got worse. The slaps turned to punches. Which then turned into kicking. Orbital socket fractures. Hair line arm fractures. You name it, she had them. By the time she decided to leave him, he wasn't hitting her just while drunk. The day she packed up to leave, he took his shotgun out and shot at her at point blank range. She knocked it down at the last moment and it hit her leg right above the knee. It looked like she stepped on a landmine. Her leg disintegrated on impact.

I was 8 years old, and I remember looking at her white pumps in a plastic hospital property bag. It had a pool of coagulated blood and pieces of flesh inside of it.

My mom and aunts all had abusive relationships in their past as well. Maybe not now, but I remember each having one boyfriend that treated them much the same as the man that did that to my grandmother.

And then I have an ex that was as well. One that threatened to kill himself and I when I ended it. I don't need to go into the gory details of my traumas because I'm beyond them now.

I believe abusers can get help, and can really want to change. But to say absolutely they will, would be a lie. They may be able to control it, but it's always laying under the surface waiting for the moment to come out.

And for that reason, I wouldn't even put myself in a situation where there is even a remote possibility of exposing myself to that kind of treatment. There are plenty of other men out there, that have zero history of abuse that I can choose from. And a former abuser is not one of them for me. You can be sorry all you want about your past, but that's a hard pass for me.

Forgiveness can be given, but that doesn't equate to being in my life for it to be accomplished.

I have forgiven some very heinous behaviour in the past done under a combination of both heavy intoxication and youth. I havent acted entirely lady like under those conditions myself. Im lucky enough to receive an apology in later years from one, and we have actually been able to work through our horrific past. I dont expect apologies but it sure makes forgiveness easier. I forgive for my own peace of mind, delete the person and move on.

Past behaviour is good indication for someone with violence issues. If they have acted violently in the past, and are still under the influence, they will most likely do it again. Domestic abuse is usually continuous for someone like that until they truly get help.

Posted by Dreamy88

Posted by Ram416

Posted by Dreamy88

I mean

I love my women like my eggs

🤔 🤦

I know I know Ram... bad joke 😬

click to expand

Considering who is joking...whatever

Posted by Endless

Posted by brianafay

It’s fine to forgive them ...for your own peace

But that doesn’t mean you let them abuse you again

forgive? fuck that.

more like forget them, in jail.

click to expand

Forgiveness isn’t for them, it’s for you

Also doesn’t mean you don’t move on and forget them - in jail or not.

Any who abuse their spouse, child, elder, pet in any shape or form of abuse needs to suffer.