JustMakingSh!tUp
@JustMakingSh!tUp
19 Years
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She's still in love w/ him...What shall I do?
This arguement went on until her grad night and her acception into the same college he was attending? I KNEW I was losing (and had already LOST) that battle.
When she turned 19, she married him. On the wedding night as I stubbornly walked her down her aisle, like any father, I began to cry. I knew I was losing my girl at a TOO early age.In desperation, I tried my BEST to savor the nostalgic moment and memories that raced through my mind, by ?tripping?over the carpet the aisle runner ?sloppily? laid down and stating, ?Jesus Christ!!, im SO sorry, PLEASE let's start over.? But she wasn't buying that!!
She was so happy. I was so sad. I clutched my youngest arm, begging her not to ?betray me by marring TOO early?.As soon as I said that, she agreed?and disobeyed, by running to go talk to some boy.
That thoughts of what he was doing to my baby that night, sickened me so, I began to toss & turn& drown in my own tears.
A few mouths after the marriage she began to strangly appear at home. Though I was EXCITED, I was worried.?Why did she travel 20 miles??. She stated, ?He & I got into a agruement, I want to be left alone by him right now.? Well that was normal, newly weds ALWAYS run away from the spouse when upset. And like always, the top stairs had been awaiting for her return?.At that point, I knew my baby girl was back!! So she & I sat there & talked about the old topics of ?the steps??ladies in white, night-terrors, dreams of swimming, ?..any thing to belong her return..But she left.
When she turned 19, she married him. On the wedding night as I stubbornly walked her down her aisle, like any father, I began to cry. I knew I was losing my girl at a TOO early age.In desperation, I tried my BEST to savor the nostalgic moment and memories that raced through my mind, by ?tripping?over the carpet the aisle runner ?sloppily? laid down and stating, ?Jesus Christ!!, im SO sorry, PLEASE let's start over.? But she wasn't buying that!!
She was so happy. I was so sad. I clutched my youngest arm, begging her not to ?betray me by marring TOO early?.As soon as I said that, she agreed?and disobeyed, by running to go talk to some boy.
That thoughts of what he was doing to my baby that night, sickened me so, I began to toss & turn& drown in my own tears.
A few mouths after the marriage she began to strangly appear at home. Though I was EXCITED, I was worried.?Why did she travel 20 miles??. She stated, ?He & I got into a agruement, I want to be left alone by him right now.? Well that was normal, newly weds ALWAYS run away from the spouse when upset. And like always, the top stairs had been awaiting for her return?.At that point, I knew my baby girl was back!! So she & I sat there & talked about the old topics of ?the steps??ladies in white, night-terrors, dreams of swimming, ?..any thing to belong her return..But she left.
She began to keep up w/ this ?prodigal son? behavior, returning home when ever, for 3 years.
One night in the middle of August (this year) I noticed (on her almost regularly home check-in) she began to look pale. I asked, ?Are you okay??Do you need something to eat??..?No!?, she repiled sorta hoarsly, she began to straighten up her voice, ?I'm just exhausted from working over time.. My head is killing me.? I knew something was up, why would she travel nearly 20-something miles, to a location futher than her own home, just to rest? As I began to turn around to question her, she was already asleep on her step. I carried her into my bedroom & and laid her next to her mom & continued w/ the work down stairs.
When my wife come running down the stairs, ?Come look at Sable!!?. I ran up the stairs, she gently open the door, & and pulled her scarf off her neck. . All I could see was bruises & bite marks. I awakened her w/ questions. She began to laugh & state, ?Oh we were being a little silly earlier..What are you doing??. She gotten SO upset,because she had been awakened by a meddling father, she left.
A month later, she returned. This time in worser shape. She began to fall on the couch screaming & crying. I left her head and her nose was bleeding torments of blood, her lip slightly bleeding, and around her neck looked as if she had been strangled to near death. She had troublr crying, and therefore had to scream it out. She couldn't talk, so I asked her to write it down. She would'nt, but I already knew what happened & who has it by. Her mom, sister, & I tried our best to get words to come out her mouth. Screams & crys muffed her diction.
One night in the middle of August (this year) I noticed (on her almost regularly home check-in) she began to look pale. I asked, ?Are you okay??Do you need something to eat??..?No!?, she repiled sorta hoarsly, she began to straighten up her voice, ?I'm just exhausted from working over time.. My head is killing me.? I knew something was up, why would she travel nearly 20-something miles, to a location futher than her own home, just to rest? As I began to turn around to question her, she was already asleep on her step. I carried her into my bedroom & and laid her next to her mom & continued w/ the work down stairs.
When my wife come running down the stairs, ?Come look at Sable!!?. I ran up the stairs, she gently open the door, & and pulled her scarf off her neck. . All I could see was bruises & bite marks. I awakened her w/ questions. She began to laugh & state, ?Oh we were being a little silly earlier..What are you doing??. She gotten SO upset,because she had been awakened by a meddling father, she left.
A month later, she returned. This time in worser shape. She began to fall on the couch screaming & crying. I left her head and her nose was bleeding torments of blood, her lip slightly bleeding, and around her neck looked as if she had been strangled to near death. She had troublr crying, and therefore had to scream it out. She couldn't talk, so I asked her to write it down. She would'nt, but I already knew what happened & who has it by. Her mom, sister, & I tried our best to get words to come out her mouth. Screams & crys muffed her diction.
Several minutes later, after she had some sleep. Her word came to,?He choked me w/ the phone cord.? I just couldn't believe the same guy I called son-in-law, the guy I sometimes use to drink & watch the game w/, the same guy I called, ?Nathan? (the name I had for my eldest if she had been a boy), had been abusing my girl for 3 years.
Over a week time she began to tell me the horrible things he made her do. I felt that she was so ?messed-up? from the abuse of ?Nathan?, I paid for her to visit a Phycologist..cause my temper wasn't helping her cope.
I began to learn, the more acts ?Nathan? had her do. I could feel the blood from the back of my neck boil and my hands grow cold.
I rushed out the house in search of ?Nathan?. He wasn't at home. I finally found his job?and him, I knocked the SHIT out of him. He punched he back. He soon began to wrestle on the tiled floor, blood flew in every direction. Alas, the police pulled us apart. Soon after he pressed a restraining order against me for ASSURING a second ass-beating to him & later death?.AND I WILL KILL HIM?believe me.
When I saw Sable again, she weighted even less and looked even paler. I remembered, she NEVER ate & drank when upset, just sit on her step w/ her hands to her face. Because of her constant crying over her ?husband?, her refused food, and depressive & confessed state, she now is hospitalized for the flu.
Yesterday, she stated how much she still loved him, when I demanded a divorce. She has been giving me answers since the issue..?Dad, I don't want to be w/ him?, ?He will be okay.?, No, I don't love him anymore?, ?I wish he was dead.?, ?Dad, I still want to be w/ him IF he gets help,?.
Because he ?husband? wanted to visit her, I had to go home. But I made sure as hell the police stayed w/ her. Right now im supposed to be preparing for work, but fuck it. Im still putting together a plan to kill ?Nathan?.
Why the HELL would a 6'6 tall guy abuse a 5'8 tall female? I KNOWS that wasn't anything CLOSE to a fight.
Im just confused, what shall i do to persuade her...I sould be over w/o hurting her feelings?
Over a week time she began to tell me the horrible things he made her do. I felt that she was so ?messed-up? from the abuse of ?Nathan?, I paid for her to visit a Phycologist..cause my temper wasn't helping her cope.
I began to learn, the more acts ?Nathan? had her do. I could feel the blood from the back of my neck boil and my hands grow cold.
I rushed out the house in search of ?Nathan?. He wasn't at home. I finally found his job?and him, I knocked the SHIT out of him. He punched he back. He soon began to wrestle on the tiled floor, blood flew in every direction. Alas, the police pulled us apart. Soon after he pressed a restraining order against me for ASSURING a second ass-beating to him & later death?.AND I WILL KILL HIM?believe me.
When I saw Sable again, she weighted even less and looked even paler. I remembered, she NEVER ate & drank when upset, just sit on her step w/ her hands to her face. Because of her constant crying over her ?husband?, her refused food, and depressive & confessed state, she now is hospitalized for the flu.
Yesterday, she stated how much she still loved him, when I demanded a divorce. She has been giving me answers since the issue..?Dad, I don't want to be w/ him?, ?He will be okay.?, No, I don't love him anymore?, ?I wish he was dead.?, ?Dad, I still want to be w/ him IF he gets help,?.
Because he ?husband? wanted to visit her, I had to go home. But I made sure as hell the police stayed w/ her. Right now im supposed to be preparing for work, but fuck it. Im still putting together a plan to kill ?Nathan?.
Why the HELL would a 6'6 tall guy abuse a 5'8 tall female? I KNOWS that wasn't anything CLOSE to a fight.
Im just confused, what shall i do to persuade her...I sould be over w/o hurting her feelings?
There are alot of spelling mistakes, forgive me.
Mr. Gem Dad,
It sounds to me as though she knows she needs to get away from him, but, as human nature dictates, she would do the opposite because of parental pressure. From the beginning, quote: "I quickly dis-approved", "I stubbornly walked her down her aisle", "begging her not to betray me" . . . you are viewing what she's doing from your standards of what's right, or wrong . . maybe this has been going on since early childhood, who knows except you. Maybe that's the reason for the other to be so rebellious.
People, especially our children do things in spite of the parents, NOT, because of the parents. That's human nature . . we don't want to be told what to do.
Whether you approved of this man, or not . . you have voiced to her over and over again, "What YOU want her to do", from your standards. Her life is her own, it's not yours to live for her. When a child comes to their parents for support, that is what they should get. She's looking for safety . . hence, her step is her net.
Wouldn't you like for YOU to be her safety net, instead of the step?
Then back off from "demanding" what she should, or shouldn't do, and you might just find that she wants to get away from him, but, has nowhere to go because you are just like him, in a sense.
He makes her do this, do that . . you make demands on what she should, or shouldn't do. Your not phyically abusing, like him, but what's the difference? She still has nobody to whom will just accept her the way she is.
She wants you to accept her, Dad, not dictate to her about what YOU deem ppropriate . . that's why she keeps coming home (20 miles out of her way). She's looking for someone to support her in her decisions . . and apparantly that's not happening. She's alone in this world . . just her and her stair.
Eventually, she'll just stay with him and accept his abusive nature because either way, she HAS to listen to someone else who isn't happy with her.
Being a Pisces, she'll sink into a funk of make-believe, where her father isn't protesting with her every decision and where her husband is this sweet and loving man, who protects her.
She is who she is . . is that so aweful?
It sounds to me as though she knows she needs to get away from him, but, as human nature dictates, she would do the opposite because of parental pressure. From the beginning, quote: "I quickly dis-approved", "I stubbornly walked her down her aisle", "begging her not to betray me" . . . you are viewing what she's doing from your standards of what's right, or wrong . . maybe this has been going on since early childhood, who knows except you. Maybe that's the reason for the other to be so rebellious.
People, especially our children do things in spite of the parents, NOT, because of the parents. That's human nature . . we don't want to be told what to do.
Whether you approved of this man, or not . . you have voiced to her over and over again, "What YOU want her to do", from your standards. Her life is her own, it's not yours to live for her. When a child comes to their parents for support, that is what they should get. She's looking for safety . . hence, her step is her net.
Wouldn't you like for YOU to be her safety net, instead of the step?
Then back off from "demanding" what she should, or shouldn't do, and you might just find that she wants to get away from him, but, has nowhere to go because you are just like him, in a sense.
He makes her do this, do that . . you make demands on what she should, or shouldn't do. Your not phyically abusing, like him, but what's the difference? She still has nobody to whom will just accept her the way she is.
She wants you to accept her, Dad, not dictate to her about what YOU deem ppropriate . . that's why she keeps coming home (20 miles out of her way). She's looking for someone to support her in her decisions . . and apparantly that's not happening. She's alone in this world . . just her and her stair.
Eventually, she'll just stay with him and accept his abusive nature because either way, she HAS to listen to someone else who isn't happy with her.
Being a Pisces, she'll sink into a funk of make-believe, where her father isn't protesting with her every decision and where her husband is this sweet and loving man, who protects her.
She is who she is . . is that so aweful?
The question was asked: She's still in love with him, what shall I do?
The answer: Leave her alone to love and live, and be happy FOR her.
The answer: Leave her alone to love and live, and be happy FOR her.
I feel sorry for your daughter . . a non-Pisces has no clue what's it like to live in this world, the way we view the world.
Gem Dad, for an adult Pisces female to survive in this world, it's IMPARATIVE that we have somebody who understands that the reason for our whole existence is to take care of another person.
Alone, without having somebody to care for . . we "WILL" commit suicide.
Gem Dad, for an adult Pisces female to survive in this world, it's IMPARATIVE that we have somebody who understands that the reason for our whole existence is to take care of another person.
Alone, without having somebody to care for . . we "WILL" commit suicide.
I almost walked all these way in your shoes. I know its not going to be easy asking you to take it easy. Its hard. I agree. But IMHO, you gotta calm down. Stay emotionally detached from the whole situation and then talk to your daughter how a good friend of her would have done. am sure this problem can be solved if u stop getting emotional. I got a pisces sister aged 19 and I have been trying my level best to make her walk on earth than in some stupid dreamworld. May be you should try to add a bit of guilty feeling to your daughter as and when you talk. Make her go back to the time she was 17 or 19 and make her imagine how her life would have been different if she did made a different choice. Make a new dreamworld for her with bits and bytes of reality which doesnt have her abusive husband. Be ready to invest time for pisces. It takes long time to change water signs. We have to make them think and for Pisces, spirituality and religion works out easily than logic or psychology.
Goodluck.
Goodluck.
No wonder you have problems with your Pisces sister trying to get her to live in your world, thelibran,lol
Trying to make her, or any Pisces feel guilty, such as, "stupid dreamworld", will only push her further away. Secondly, you, nor, anybody else could ever put an image in our head, such as, "make her imagine how her life would have been different if she did made a different choice".
"It's takes time to change a water sign." lol, it's not about changing somebody. What's the matter with you people? Or, is it a man thing?
"We have to make them think" . . omg, that's ALL we do . . what the hell do you think we're doing in our dreamworld? Picking our noses?
Geeez, we're different . . our kind . . different from anybody else in the signs and you have to accept us FOR our differences, or get the hell out of our way.
Change? omg
Understanding that the world looks different to us, we see things from a perspective that others don't. Try as you will, such as Gem Dad has done with daughter, and thelibran has tried with sister . . to no avail, because it's impossible. We CANNOT see through your eyes . . only our own.
I'm telling you, I've been a female Pisces for nearly 5 decades . . to continue in this path, or try and mold her into your measurement of standards . . is going to push her away even further.
What to do? Accept her FOR her differences - not SCOLD her because she isn't you. It's that simple.
So, she makes mistakes . . wtf . . .
Trying to make her, or any Pisces feel guilty, such as, "stupid dreamworld", will only push her further away. Secondly, you, nor, anybody else could ever put an image in our head, such as, "make her imagine how her life would have been different if she did made a different choice".
"It's takes time to change a water sign." lol, it's not about changing somebody. What's the matter with you people? Or, is it a man thing?
"We have to make them think" . . omg, that's ALL we do . . what the hell do you think we're doing in our dreamworld? Picking our noses?
Geeez, we're different . . our kind . . different from anybody else in the signs and you have to accept us FOR our differences, or get the hell out of our way.
Change? omg
Understanding that the world looks different to us, we see things from a perspective that others don't. Try as you will, such as Gem Dad has done with daughter, and thelibran has tried with sister . . to no avail, because it's impossible. We CANNOT see through your eyes . . only our own.
I'm telling you, I've been a female Pisces for nearly 5 decades . . to continue in this path, or try and mold her into your measurement of standards . . is going to push her away even further.
What to do? Accept her FOR her differences - not SCOLD her because she isn't you. It's that simple.
So, she makes mistakes . . wtf . . .
Hey, with all due respect to the pisces out there, this is a case that could result in that girl's death! I don't think that this guy should be made to feel guilty for trying to get her daughter to leave this aweful A-hole! Yes, he may have gone on too strong trying to impose his views on her not getting married to him! And he definitely needs to give up the thought of killing this guy! hell! he deserves it and I would've wanted to do the same thing! But let's not turn a tragedy into an even worse tragedy!
I'm not sure I have any "good" advice to give to you Mr Gem cause I imagine how hard it is to see your daughter abused by a man! My mom was abused by my dad and thank God she escaped in time. But killing this guy is not the answer. Sitting there and doing nothing to get this girl out in spite of herself is not the answer either even though she's a "pisces"! She's before everything else a human being and we all know how abused people often feel this attachment to their abuser making it hard for anyone to help them. That's probably what your daughter is feeling right now, along with maybe a will to prove you wrong and stick by her decision because you had opposed this guy in the first place. I think you should force yourself to approach her from a different perspective with the same goal in mind: You have to relate to her emotionally and make her see you as her father who loves her unconditionally by being there for her, make an effort to not curse this guy's name in her presence, and make her understand that it's not about the guy but his actions, if possible maker her see movies/films about abused women. She has to get out of this aweful place and you have to give her the tools to do so. I agree with controlling your emotions but it's okay to feel them: don't feel guilty for being angry at this guy or even at your daughter for marrying him: the important thing is not expressing them to her and to go through your emotions and present a calm rational face to her. She's too stunned to realize this guy is an animal because she probably can't put the image of her marrying him to the one of the guy choking her.
If this doesn't work, turn to the law: Can they arrest him based on your and your family's testimony despite your daughter? I would consider doing that as well cause it's hard to see someone killing someone you love and be told to do nothing about it!
I'm not sure I have any "good" advice to give to you Mr Gem cause I imagine how hard it is to see your daughter abused by a man! My mom was abused by my dad and thank God she escaped in time. But killing this guy is not the answer. Sitting there and doing nothing to get this girl out in spite of herself is not the answer either even though she's a "pisces"! She's before everything else a human being and we all know how abused people often feel this attachment to their abuser making it hard for anyone to help them. That's probably what your daughter is feeling right now, along with maybe a will to prove you wrong and stick by her decision because you had opposed this guy in the first place. I think you should force yourself to approach her from a different perspective with the same goal in mind: You have to relate to her emotionally and make her see you as her father who loves her unconditionally by being there for her, make an effort to not curse this guy's name in her presence, and make her understand that it's not about the guy but his actions, if possible maker her see movies/films about abused women. She has to get out of this aweful place and you have to give her the tools to do so. I agree with controlling your emotions but it's okay to feel them: don't feel guilty for being angry at this guy or even at your daughter for marrying him: the important thing is not expressing them to her and to go through your emotions and present a calm rational face to her. She's too stunned to realize this guy is an animal because she probably can't put the image of her marrying him to the one of the guy choking her.
If this doesn't work, turn to the law: Can they arrest him based on your and your family's testimony despite your daughter? I would consider doing that as well cause it's hard to see someone killing someone you love and be told to do nothing about it!
She's Pisces people . . .
What I'm trying to say is . . . you have to be a Pisces to understand this . . regardless of what anybody else thinks . . but, it's highly probable that this Pisces woman is processing this whole thing differently from, to quote Maia, "make her understand that it's not about the guy but his actions".
It is about the guy, it's all about the guy . . to her, his actions aren't the issue, as much as it is to you, and everyone else who reads this.
If the goal is to get through to her, which it is, then you have to approach her from her level of understanding what is important . . her life isn't as important to her than his life that needs her. That is how she sees it. I'm sure of it.
I dated my first husband for 6 years, and then married him . . he beat me up, came home every day and took his agressions out on me. You could have shown me every movie in the world about wife-beaters, my father talked to me until he was blue in the face, the police were even called . . back to his arms straight I went. Why?
Because WE HAVE TO HAVE SOMEONE TO CARE FOR. How much louder does that have to come out? In her eyes, just like mine and every female Pisces I know . . he needs her. She's not looking at this like he's a monster . . you are . . her dad is . . thelibran. She sees a man to whom she loves and he's in trouble, beit anger problems, alcohol, agression - whatever is causing his voilence - and because he is "sick", she will bind herself to him even deeper.
The ONLY way to get through to her - before he kills her - is to ACCEPT her feelings for him. Don't tell her he's a monster, don't try and trick her using reverse psychology, don't badger her, don't try and change her . . .
Martyrs, through and through . . and the more TELLS her what she's doing is wrong, the more she'll cling to him. She'll be able to figure it out the day people stop telling her what to do, the day people stop trying to influencing her into doing what they want of her . . .
Gem Dad, I lived this for 8 friggin years with a monster to whom I was married. NOTHING anyone could do to change my mind that . . "He needs me to take care of him", that is, until the day came that people STOPPED telling me what to do and accepted my opinion of him . . then, only then, did the light in my head go off and I could see with my own eyes what an ass he really was.
What I'm trying to say is . . . you have to be a Pisces to understand this . . regardless of what anybody else thinks . . but, it's highly probable that this Pisces woman is processing this whole thing differently from, to quote Maia, "make her understand that it's not about the guy but his actions".
It is about the guy, it's all about the guy . . to her, his actions aren't the issue, as much as it is to you, and everyone else who reads this.
If the goal is to get through to her, which it is, then you have to approach her from her level of understanding what is important . . her life isn't as important to her than his life that needs her. That is how she sees it. I'm sure of it.
I dated my first husband for 6 years, and then married him . . he beat me up, came home every day and took his agressions out on me. You could have shown me every movie in the world about wife-beaters, my father talked to me until he was blue in the face, the police were even called . . back to his arms straight I went. Why?
Because WE HAVE TO HAVE SOMEONE TO CARE FOR. How much louder does that have to come out? In her eyes, just like mine and every female Pisces I know . . he needs her. She's not looking at this like he's a monster . . you are . . her dad is . . thelibran. She sees a man to whom she loves and he's in trouble, beit anger problems, alcohol, agression - whatever is causing his voilence - and because he is "sick", she will bind herself to him even deeper.
The ONLY way to get through to her - before he kills her - is to ACCEPT her feelings for him. Don't tell her he's a monster, don't try and trick her using reverse psychology, don't badger her, don't try and change her . . .
Martyrs, through and through . . and the more TELLS her what she's doing is wrong, the more she'll cling to him. She'll be able to figure it out the day people stop telling her what to do, the day people stop trying to influencing her into doing what they want of her . . .
Gem Dad, I lived this for 8 friggin years with a monster to whom I was married. NOTHING anyone could do to change my mind that . . "He needs me to take care of him", that is, until the day came that people STOPPED telling me what to do and accepted my opinion of him . . then, only then, did the light in my head go off and I could see with my own eyes what an ass he really was.
"Hey, with all due respect to the pisces out there, this is a case that could result in that girl's death!"
Yes, Maia . . and not just by her husband's hand.
I did, for my own curiousity, a short search on the people who commit suicide in this world and the majority were . . . Pisces.
The martyr will go to their death, willingly, IF the one to whom they are bound feels it's needed.
This girl could die, and how it is handled from this point forward will be the determining factor.
Keep a silent tongue about "opinions" about her man, tell her that she is loved and needed in the family circle . . and nothing more. Entering into a physical altercation with her husband will cause her to cling to her man, and forsake all others until she dies.
Yes, Maia . . and not just by her husband's hand.
I did, for my own curiousity, a short search on the people who commit suicide in this world and the majority were . . . Pisces.
The martyr will go to their death, willingly, IF the one to whom they are bound feels it's needed.
This girl could die, and how it is handled from this point forward will be the determining factor.
Keep a silent tongue about "opinions" about her man, tell her that she is loved and needed in the family circle . . and nothing more. Entering into a physical altercation with her husband will cause her to cling to her man, and forsake all others until she dies.
You know, that makes a lot of sense. And I wish I've known that as they were growing ?up. YET, I resent the comment, ?You are just like him, in a sense?. No, I assume you, we are different and 'in a way this is primarily your fault'?now that's just B.S?im sorry.
Honestly, I wish I had the time-out to read your thoughts & opinions before I visited her earlier. As I look back, I honestly know I made it worser??
?Sable, you need to cut this relationship out??..? How dare you sit-up a allow him to fill you up & brain wash you w/, ?I love you?, ?Im just going though something?, ?I'm sorry, I didn't know?..genre of bull shit. How the fuck are you going to ?NOT know? you were abusing someone and made them lose their child—?If you cut this guy out of your life, you will feel a lot better??.?Obvisously, this guy is sick."..."You souldn't be around this shit??..?. What the fuck is wrong w/ you? We didn't raise you to be this foolish, why are you so addicted to this jack-ass? IT'S OVER, don't you get it'stop it!?
I REALLY didn't mean the lecture her again. I just tried to be the spine she is missing.
I've always saught Sable to be more like the older me?Needing help, but too subborn to ask for it, figuring out the problem alone, willing to walk to the edge of the earth to find the ?hard? solution, instead of the easy route. And my youngest, Madison, more like the much much younger me,..simply stubborn, smart-mouth, lighting up to the term ?hotties & parties?, competitive, spicy, livin' a fast life, flirty, & just like a youngster. That wasn't the case I, now, see. They wasn't like me at all, they just didn't want to come to me. I foolishly thought that I was their only?protection?, when I saw them disreguard my usage, I thought they were me.
It's hard to except, all these years I spent, making an attempt to correctly raise my kids, where only in vain. I'm kinda the real cause of their down-falls. I can bearly forgive my-self for the, not raising, just dominance of my kids lives, thoughts, actions, & beliefs. I really feel glum for Madison's results. I had always taught her to ?Fight the pusher, don't let a soul tell you what you want out of life??ironically, I was the ?pusher? and her biggest fighting challenge.
I will take the advice to ease off the problem, YET, i will not idly sit by while this jack-ass abuse my daughter, and she not reporting it to authorities. I still feel the need to murder the guy..seriously.
Honestly, I wish I had the time-out to read your thoughts & opinions before I visited her earlier. As I look back, I honestly know I made it worser??
?Sable, you need to cut this relationship out??..? How dare you sit-up a allow him to fill you up & brain wash you w/, ?I love you?, ?Im just going though something?, ?I'm sorry, I didn't know?..genre of bull shit. How the fuck are you going to ?NOT know? you were abusing someone and made them lose their child—?If you cut this guy out of your life, you will feel a lot better??.?Obvisously, this guy is sick."..."You souldn't be around this shit??..?. What the fuck is wrong w/ you? We didn't raise you to be this foolish, why are you so addicted to this jack-ass? IT'S OVER, don't you get it'stop it!?
I REALLY didn't mean the lecture her again. I just tried to be the spine she is missing.
I've always saught Sable to be more like the older me?Needing help, but too subborn to ask for it, figuring out the problem alone, willing to walk to the edge of the earth to find the ?hard? solution, instead of the easy route. And my youngest, Madison, more like the much much younger me,..simply stubborn, smart-mouth, lighting up to the term ?hotties & parties?, competitive, spicy, livin' a fast life, flirty, & just like a youngster. That wasn't the case I, now, see. They wasn't like me at all, they just didn't want to come to me. I foolishly thought that I was their only?protection?, when I saw them disreguard my usage, I thought they were me.
It's hard to except, all these years I spent, making an attempt to correctly raise my kids, where only in vain. I'm kinda the real cause of their down-falls. I can bearly forgive my-self for the, not raising, just dominance of my kids lives, thoughts, actions, & beliefs. I really feel glum for Madison's results. I had always taught her to ?Fight the pusher, don't let a soul tell you what you want out of life??ironically, I was the ?pusher? and her biggest fighting challenge.
I will take the advice to ease off the problem, YET, i will not idly sit by while this jack-ass abuse my daughter, and she not reporting it to authorities. I still feel the need to murder the guy..seriously.
That is a really tough situation. No one here is really in a position to advise.
She is broken. Having been in an abusive relationship when I was young, it becomes an addiction because you have nothing else to live for. It fills your whole being. It is all that you are.
You have to build her up because she is empty. What she is battling is a feeling of worthlessness. She is trying to win his love by enduring pain. If she can make him love her and stop hurting her, she will be worthy. Everytime she endures pain and isn't rewarded with love from him, she breaks a little more and feels a little less worthy because obviously she has done something.
How do you make her leave?
You can't. It is an addiction. It is an obsession. What you have to do is build her up little by little by little. It isn't really about compliments although it can be, it is really about giving her love, giving her challenges she can complete so she can build herself up. Give her options. Give her choices but ultimetly let her choose and respect her decisions. It is only by making the right choices for herself that she will find self-esteem. You can't give someone self-esteem but you can help down the path.
Perhaps contact a women's shelter or other authority on domestic abuse in your area. Talk to them. Get advise from them and the police.
May you all find peace in this situation.
She is broken. Having been in an abusive relationship when I was young, it becomes an addiction because you have nothing else to live for. It fills your whole being. It is all that you are.
You have to build her up because she is empty. What she is battling is a feeling of worthlessness. She is trying to win his love by enduring pain. If she can make him love her and stop hurting her, she will be worthy. Everytime she endures pain and isn't rewarded with love from him, she breaks a little more and feels a little less worthy because obviously she has done something.
How do you make her leave?
You can't. It is an addiction. It is an obsession. What you have to do is build her up little by little by little. It isn't really about compliments although it can be, it is really about giving her love, giving her challenges she can complete so she can build herself up. Give her options. Give her choices but ultimetly let her choose and respect her decisions. It is only by making the right choices for herself that she will find self-esteem. You can't give someone self-esteem but you can help down the path.
Perhaps contact a women's shelter or other authority on domestic abuse in your area. Talk to them. Get advise from them and the police.
May you all find peace in this situation.
Gem Father in Dire Straights,
The fish swims in two directions, as you know . . but, what this means, as our own reasoning processes the world around us is this:
1) Brain: We know what is right or wrong / she leaves him to find her step at home
2) Heart: The world is broken, we must fix it / his anger "illness" needs her to care for him
If you ask her about her man, I'm sure she says this to you in her own words. "I know dad, but, he needs me. He can change, he's just going through a rough .." I'll bet she has said something similiar to you, hasn't she?
We are just one fish in the sea, so the whole world, we cannot fix . . we bind ourselves to another, completely, total dedication. To ask us to betray our beloved is the equivelant to you having to give up your own child . . because in our hearts, we know why we were born . . ask your other Pisces daughter . . she'll tell you. Think of what your purpose is in life . . can you live without being that person?
Look in this forum under the Pisces board and most of the talk is about how we sacrifice our needs, our happiness and desires . . for the sake of the one we love. We are proud of this . . it's something we honor. If we feel connected, bound to someone in our hearts . . we will forsake our own parents so that we can provide our beloved with everything they need.
We KNOW that sometimes, what we HAVE to do for them, is wrong, or hurting another and we weep for the pain that HAS to be caused . . but, our beloved "needs us". We are pure emotion, and so, the inner battle . . do we listen to our heads, or, our hearts.
When our heads are working . . well, you have two Pisces girls, I don't have to tell you about the caustic tongue . . that's our brains talking.
Our friends, family, pets, things and places we adore . . that's our hearts feeling.
There's not much more to us, as to how we operate in life.
Each time, you, or another family member, or friend, spoke words or did actions to harm her husband in ANY way . . you caused him to need her more, that drives her closer to him because now he has the problems of the world and the ones you have caused him.
The fish swims in two directions, as you know . . but, what this means, as our own reasoning processes the world around us is this:
1) Brain: We know what is right or wrong / she leaves him to find her step at home
2) Heart: The world is broken, we must fix it / his anger "illness" needs her to care for him
If you ask her about her man, I'm sure she says this to you in her own words. "I know dad, but, he needs me. He can change, he's just going through a rough .." I'll bet she has said something similiar to you, hasn't she?
We are just one fish in the sea, so the whole world, we cannot fix . . we bind ourselves to another, completely, total dedication. To ask us to betray our beloved is the equivelant to you having to give up your own child . . because in our hearts, we know why we were born . . ask your other Pisces daughter . . she'll tell you. Think of what your purpose is in life . . can you live without being that person?
Look in this forum under the Pisces board and most of the talk is about how we sacrifice our needs, our happiness and desires . . for the sake of the one we love. We are proud of this . . it's something we honor. If we feel connected, bound to someone in our hearts . . we will forsake our own parents so that we can provide our beloved with everything they need.
We KNOW that sometimes, what we HAVE to do for them, is wrong, or hurting another and we weep for the pain that HAS to be caused . . but, our beloved "needs us". We are pure emotion, and so, the inner battle . . do we listen to our heads, or, our hearts.
When our heads are working . . well, you have two Pisces girls, I don't have to tell you about the caustic tongue . . that's our brains talking.
Our friends, family, pets, things and places we adore . . that's our hearts feeling.
There's not much more to us, as to how we operate in life.
Each time, you, or another family member, or friend, spoke words or did actions to harm her husband in ANY way . . you caused him to need her more, that drives her closer to him because now he has the problems of the world and the ones you have caused him.
If you want to save your daughter's life . . back off from your opinions about her man. Lie, lie your ass off if you have to . . . just make sure that your "Top Priority" is accepting that she loves him. If she says he needs her - agree with her. When she's sitting on her stair - crying her eyes out, which I know full well that the tears never stop while she's in her safety zone, in fact, she cries herself to sleep sitting there, all alone - just hold her and tell her that YOU need her. When there's a lull or a time when her weeping is nearly silent, bring up things in the family's life where her family NEEDED her to take care of them.
Alone she sits on her stair, Dad, eventhough you think you are there with her because you're not. Alone she sits because she's the only who can see her purpose, the reason why she was even born . . to take care of her beloved.
To save her life, you have to give it her.
Alone she sits on her stair, Dad, eventhough you think you are there with her because you're not. Alone she sits because she's the only who can see her purpose, the reason why she was even born . . to take care of her beloved.
To save her life, you have to give it her.
That is how we work.
Those are very valid, LS, this girl is in trouble, no doubt.
Our worthiness comes from only one source . . that's why we don't follow through with commitments, barely hold jobs longer than a year, remain totally undecisive (we can't make a choice without considering whether it's beneficial for our beloved), carefreely burn any bridge without remorse . . our self-esteem and self-worth comes only from being everything our beloved needs us to be. We could have the most prestigious job on the planet . . . but, we would still be sitting on our stairs, dangerously distraught.
Most can find this eased by having children. Once the female Pisces gives birth, she has "someone" who needs her until she dies. I wouldn't be the least bit shocked if I found out that children literally saved 50% of the adult Pisces female lives. I know it saved mine. If I didn't have my son, I'd be dead right now . . I've no doubt anywhere in my mind about that.
Those are very valid, LS, this girl is in trouble, no doubt.
Our worthiness comes from only one source . . that's why we don't follow through with commitments, barely hold jobs longer than a year, remain totally undecisive (we can't make a choice without considering whether it's beneficial for our beloved), carefreely burn any bridge without remorse . . our self-esteem and self-worth comes only from being everything our beloved needs us to be. We could have the most prestigious job on the planet . . . but, we would still be sitting on our stairs, dangerously distraught.
Most can find this eased by having children. Once the female Pisces gives birth, she has "someone" who needs her until she dies. I wouldn't be the least bit shocked if I found out that children literally saved 50% of the adult Pisces female lives. I know it saved mine. If I didn't have my son, I'd be dead right now . . I've no doubt anywhere in my mind about that.
"It's hard to except, all these years I spent, making an attempt to correctly raise my kids, where only in vain. I'm kinda the real cause of their down-falls. I can bearly forgive my-self for the, not raising, just dominance of my kids lives, thoughts, actions, & beliefs. I really feel glum for Madison's results."
Pisces, male or female, are hard to understand, no matter who you are, or, in any kind of relationship because we work outside of everyone else's realm of the comprehension of the world, itself.
You had their needs and safety in mind, and that makes for a great parent, Gem Dad. Luckily, these ARE Pisces we're talking about and forgiveness is what we do best . . so, to your daughters, everything you do or have done, is already forgiven, for as stubborn and defiant as they may seem, the fish fully comprehends the bigger picture. Your girls KNOW that what you do is for their benefit, and, NOT to hurt them.
I wouldn't worry about Madison, so long as she knows you NEED her in the family and in everyone's lives; and, you let her live in the "Piscean World".
Once she binds herself to "one" person to take care of, her outlook on life will change . . . she will then know her purpose.
Pisces, male or female, are hard to understand, no matter who you are, or, in any kind of relationship because we work outside of everyone else's realm of the comprehension of the world, itself.
You had their needs and safety in mind, and that makes for a great parent, Gem Dad. Luckily, these ARE Pisces we're talking about and forgiveness is what we do best . . so, to your daughters, everything you do or have done, is already forgiven, for as stubborn and defiant as they may seem, the fish fully comprehends the bigger picture. Your girls KNOW that what you do is for their benefit, and, NOT to hurt them.
I wouldn't worry about Madison, so long as she knows you NEED her in the family and in everyone's lives; and, you let her live in the "Piscean World".
Once she binds herself to "one" person to take care of, her outlook on life will change . . . she will then know her purpose.
P-Angel, Some people sense potential danger and try to save their loved ones from walking right into the middle of trouble. But when its a pisces walking into it, wats the way to stop them? Pisces is in her own dreamland, emotional and gentle, ready to sacrifice, ready to take all the pain to prove their worthyness. — Why do they fail to understand that one cannot make someone else happy unless they themselfs are truly happy?
thelibran,
In reality, nobody can stop anybody from doing anything if they so desire. To want to save someone, or, prevent someone from doing something dangerous IS what decent, sensible people are suppose to do.
But, it's not that simple, is it? That's like someone asking, "You ALLOW your teenage child to smoke cigarettes." Allow? People do . . what people do, there's no stopping them.
How to stop a female Pisces from sacrificing for her partner . . you can't . . that is her place in life, from her perspective.
You asked: "Why do they fail to understand that one cannot make someone else happy unless they themselfs are truly happy?"
See . . sacrificing for the person they love MAKES them happy. We don't fail to understand anything about what makes us happy . . it's the rest of the world who fails to understand that we live vicariously THROUGH the happiness we provide to another. If our partner isn't happy . . we aren't, if our partner is happy . . we are. It's just the way we work. If our partner is in trouble, or in pain, an illness, or any kind of distress . . we suffer with them, for them, through them. THAT MAKES US HAPPY !!!
It's difficult to understand us . . any of us, because of this quality. Most Pisces don't even realize this thierselves and will fight against admitting it. But, if you look at us fish with this knowledge in mind . . you will see us martyring ourselves daily for our partner. I'm sure you see your sister suffering tremendously for the person she loves . . and . . she does it eagerly, willingly . . with pride.
To tell us we shouldn't do this, is like me telling the Libra that from here on out, everything you do in your life MUST be spontaneous - no more wieghing things out. Snap decisions only. The Libra CANNOT do that, because that is how they operate in life.
The female Pisces MUST give of herself to the one she loves, or, she'll die.
In reality, nobody can stop anybody from doing anything if they so desire. To want to save someone, or, prevent someone from doing something dangerous IS what decent, sensible people are suppose to do.
But, it's not that simple, is it? That's like someone asking, "You ALLOW your teenage child to smoke cigarettes." Allow? People do . . what people do, there's no stopping them.
How to stop a female Pisces from sacrificing for her partner . . you can't . . that is her place in life, from her perspective.
You asked: "Why do they fail to understand that one cannot make someone else happy unless they themselfs are truly happy?"
See . . sacrificing for the person they love MAKES them happy. We don't fail to understand anything about what makes us happy . . it's the rest of the world who fails to understand that we live vicariously THROUGH the happiness we provide to another. If our partner isn't happy . . we aren't, if our partner is happy . . we are. It's just the way we work. If our partner is in trouble, or in pain, an illness, or any kind of distress . . we suffer with them, for them, through them. THAT MAKES US HAPPY !!!
It's difficult to understand us . . any of us, because of this quality. Most Pisces don't even realize this thierselves and will fight against admitting it. But, if you look at us fish with this knowledge in mind . . you will see us martyring ourselves daily for our partner. I'm sure you see your sister suffering tremendously for the person she loves . . and . . she does it eagerly, willingly . . with pride.
To tell us we shouldn't do this, is like me telling the Libra that from here on out, everything you do in your life MUST be spontaneous - no more wieghing things out. Snap decisions only. The Libra CANNOT do that, because that is how they operate in life.
The female Pisces MUST give of herself to the one she loves, or, she'll die.
P_Angel
I have a Pisces friend I would like you to meet. She is possibly the most shallow, self-abosorbed person I have ever met. (Actually, both my roommate and I are distancing ourselves from the friendship.) She is a complete dramaqueen and although I believe she loved her partner she is more interested in controlling him than sacraficing for him.
Sorry, that has been my experience with Pisces.
I have a Pisces friend I would like you to meet. She is possibly the most shallow, self-abosorbed person I have ever met. (Actually, both my roommate and I are distancing ourselves from the friendship.) She is a complete dramaqueen and although I believe she loved her partner she is more interested in controlling him than sacraficing for him.
Sorry, that has been my experience with Pisces.
Oh she only loved him in a very superficial way ... she loved the way he looked, his career, that he was taller than her, etc.
LS, I know all about that . . see, there's difference.
Shallow as the tube of a piece of hair, no question about that IF the person isn't NEEDY of her. That's why most of us are attracted to Virgo's . . you don't get more emotionally needy than that. If you listen to Pisces, we act as though we don't like the Virgo . . but, read inbetween the lines, and you'll find that we SEEK them out.
When I was single, if a met a man who wasn't needy of me, I'd treat him like a shit, put on my mental "Mistress" suit and crack the whip. If the man was in some kind of need, alcoholic, legal, illness, anger issues . . anything . . I was the little kitten waiting to lick his wounds.
Crazy, I know . . I have to friggin live it . . phsss . . life crap !!!!
MIC, In this particular scenerio, the father is a dictator. Did you listen to the emotionally abusive quotes? Anybody, not just a Pisces, would defy this kind of parental control . . if you were in love, would YOU listen to your father say such horrible things about the man you loved? None of us would, our loyalty is to our lover.
My point in this whole defining the Pisces is so that DAD comprehends WHY the daughter is loyal to her man (not him, Dad even said something to her about betraying him). . I'm in no way suggesting that she SHOULD REMAIN in her current situation. But, to save her, is to give her her own life (she's 23, didn't YOU want to make your own decision at 23?). . then she will see for herself that the husband is an asshole. To give her her own life means, let her see her husband through HER OWN EYES . . not his, nobody can look from someone elses eyes.
The suggestions that have been made lean towards what dad, you, and all responsers perspective of how they operate in this world . . and, I was trying to get him to understand how his Pisces daughter views the world, so he'll have a better understanding of how to deal with her and the situation.
Shallow as the tube of a piece of hair, no question about that IF the person isn't NEEDY of her. That's why most of us are attracted to Virgo's . . you don't get more emotionally needy than that. If you listen to Pisces, we act as though we don't like the Virgo . . but, read inbetween the lines, and you'll find that we SEEK them out.
When I was single, if a met a man who wasn't needy of me, I'd treat him like a shit, put on my mental "Mistress" suit and crack the whip. If the man was in some kind of need, alcoholic, legal, illness, anger issues . . anything . . I was the little kitten waiting to lick his wounds.
Crazy, I know . . I have to friggin live it . . phsss . . life crap !!!!
MIC, In this particular scenerio, the father is a dictator. Did you listen to the emotionally abusive quotes? Anybody, not just a Pisces, would defy this kind of parental control . . if you were in love, would YOU listen to your father say such horrible things about the man you loved? None of us would, our loyalty is to our lover.
My point in this whole defining the Pisces is so that DAD comprehends WHY the daughter is loyal to her man (not him, Dad even said something to her about betraying him). . I'm in no way suggesting that she SHOULD REMAIN in her current situation. But, to save her, is to give her her own life (she's 23, didn't YOU want to make your own decision at 23?). . then she will see for herself that the husband is an asshole. To give her her own life means, let her see her husband through HER OWN EYES . . not his, nobody can look from someone elses eyes.
The suggestions that have been made lean towards what dad, you, and all responsers perspective of how they operate in this world . . and, I was trying to get him to understand how his Pisces daughter views the world, so he'll have a better understanding of how to deal with her and the situation.
I'm not a pisces so I can't answer this in astrology terms. BUT you are the father and a man. Men often say 'make a decision' 'listen to me' and they take action. You are acting very much like a father whose daughter is in danger.
But she's a woman. She needs to talk it through with another woman, probably her mother or sister. Women often need varying group opinions and when we feel secure in the group then we can make up our own mind.
She's beating herself up mentally because she lived with this guy for years now. To her desperation there has to be a reason and that reason is that she loves him.
I would suggest that y'all go to the psychologist together as a family unit, mother, father, daughter (and sister if she's around.) Let some one else led the discussion where she might hear your own fears and someone else's responses to them.
I just learned this psychologists are the talk it out people and psychiatrists are the drug everything to make a person better mentally people.
On another note, I will pray for your family to keep everyone safe.
But she's a woman. She needs to talk it through with another woman, probably her mother or sister. Women often need varying group opinions and when we feel secure in the group then we can make up our own mind.
She's beating herself up mentally because she lived with this guy for years now. To her desperation there has to be a reason and that reason is that she loves him.
I would suggest that y'all go to the psychologist together as a family unit, mother, father, daughter (and sister if she's around.) Let some one else led the discussion where she might hear your own fears and someone else's responses to them.
I just learned this psychologists are the talk it out people and psychiatrists are the drug everything to make a person better mentally people.
On another note, I will pray for your family to keep everyone safe.
If she's not battling you or she's not feeling that she has to defend herself and her past decisions and past hurts, then it's easier to let someone feel their way to a right decision.
JMSU, I read your initial post and skimmed through some of the responses. IMHO, your daughter can not help herself if she thinks being abused is the right. If she were terminally ill, or a substance-abuser, wouldn't you take matters into your own hands and get her the help she needs? She is mentally incapable of making a logical, healthy decision. MercInAries said something very sound about your son-in-law:
"...he's tough when he slaps up women, but gets a court order when it comes to other men, pfff."
If there is any way that you can take control of this situation to get the necessary help and support your daughter needs to get well, DO it. I know she's a grown woman, but she is mentally unstable.
"...he's tough when he slaps up women, but gets a court order when it comes to other men, pfff."
If there is any way that you can take control of this situation to get the necessary help and support your daughter needs to get well, DO it. I know she's a grown woman, but she is mentally unstable.
Hi to all, and good morning?
Thank you all for your suggestions. I have just returned from another visit w/ Sable. She claims she is feelin alittle better from the fever. And she is ?still gonna dwell w/ him??I asked why. She quoted (more like ?threw in my face), ?I'm sick, but you all still care about me. Now, what makes a difference w/ him. Just because he is confused now, I don't want to be the one that leaves him over crap. He could just be going thur something that could be cured w/ a pill or therapy.??I actually applauded her, for those were nice words, use-less, but nice words.
And, yes, I notified the incident to the police, and once more, they have stated in so many words, ?If she doesn't report the abuse and we have no hardcore edvidence from her, there's nothing we can do. There will be NO arrest of him.? I DID have a police (that's a old-friend of mine) sent to her floor & room,the day before yesterday evening. And, again, she was covering up for him. And he said the same as the earlier police. However, he DID arrange to have a talk w/ him yesterday & you guessed it correctly?.He lied his fucking ass off. ?I would never even scream at her, less known, strangle her w/ a cord . I never made her lose a child, she was never pregnant. Her father has always hated me since the wedding. He tried to hit me w/ his car on the wedding day.? (w/ is a fucking lie) ?Her father is mad.??& such shit as that.
I sat up & chuckled at the zany ?truth? resited, by the officer from him. Since, he wanted to play clueless, I bet her doctor will help him remember when the police question him about the sections put in by her, tomorrow. Hopefully, THEN they will see, that she is TOO frighted & oblivious to realize he is TOO unstable to be w/. The only thing left is to pray some more & more & more.
Thank you all for your suggestions. I have just returned from another visit w/ Sable. She claims she is feelin alittle better from the fever. And she is ?still gonna dwell w/ him??I asked why. She quoted (more like ?threw in my face), ?I'm sick, but you all still care about me. Now, what makes a difference w/ him. Just because he is confused now, I don't want to be the one that leaves him over crap. He could just be going thur something that could be cured w/ a pill or therapy.??I actually applauded her, for those were nice words, use-less, but nice words.
And, yes, I notified the incident to the police, and once more, they have stated in so many words, ?If she doesn't report the abuse and we have no hardcore edvidence from her, there's nothing we can do. There will be NO arrest of him.? I DID have a police (that's a old-friend of mine) sent to her floor & room,the day before yesterday evening. And, again, she was covering up for him. And he said the same as the earlier police. However, he DID arrange to have a talk w/ him yesterday & you guessed it correctly?.He lied his fucking ass off. ?I would never even scream at her, less known, strangle her w/ a cord . I never made her lose a child, she was never pregnant. Her father has always hated me since the wedding. He tried to hit me w/ his car on the wedding day.? (w/ is a fucking lie) ?Her father is mad.??& such shit as that.
I sat up & chuckled at the zany ?truth? resited, by the officer from him. Since, he wanted to play clueless, I bet her doctor will help him remember when the police question him about the sections put in by her, tomorrow. Hopefully, THEN they will see, that she is TOO frighted & oblivious to realize he is TOO unstable to be w/. The only thing left is to pray some more & more & more.
It's not surprising that she would defend him. She's suppose to.
The day YOU stop badgering her, is the day SHE will see for herself . . it's your choice.
If your trying to pursuade people that she's unstable, and get someone to believe you then she might get mentally hospitalized . . is that what you want? Will that make you feel like you won, then? At HER expense?
The two most important men in her life are at each other's throats (apparantly from the beginning) and SHE is the one suffereing for it. You know, if you and husband would leave her feelings alone and let her feel love for both of you, she just might be happy with her life.
But, that isn't the aim, is it? Her happiness.
It's all about a pissing contest between two men and whomever wins, gets her loyalty.
Even IF she does get away from this man, then what? If you continue to try and MAKE her bow down to you and your standards . . she'll just pick another man the same as the first because what she's looking for is someone who will stand up to you, because you are the one dictating. She's not gonna look for someone weak and spineless . . who will protect her then?
Dad, she's 23 years old . . what's wrong with letting her live her life?
The day YOU stop badgering her, is the day SHE will see for herself . . it's your choice.
If your trying to pursuade people that she's unstable, and get someone to believe you then she might get mentally hospitalized . . is that what you want? Will that make you feel like you won, then? At HER expense?
The two most important men in her life are at each other's throats (apparantly from the beginning) and SHE is the one suffereing for it. You know, if you and husband would leave her feelings alone and let her feel love for both of you, she just might be happy with her life.
But, that isn't the aim, is it? Her happiness.
It's all about a pissing contest between two men and whomever wins, gets her loyalty.
Even IF she does get away from this man, then what? If you continue to try and MAKE her bow down to you and your standards . . she'll just pick another man the same as the first because what she's looking for is someone who will stand up to you, because you are the one dictating. She's not gonna look for someone weak and spineless . . who will protect her then?
Dad, she's 23 years old . . what's wrong with letting her live her life?
Physical abuse . . emotional abuse . . what's the difference?
She doesn't need a spine . . she needs freedom.
She doesn't need a spine . . she needs freedom.
Before this relationship, you had suggested that Sable was a good child . .
Now, since she's with this man . . you're father/daughter relationship has changed for the bad.
Has the thought ever crossed your mind that the reason why Sable and husband are fighting is because of your hatred for him, your constant trying to put a wedge between them?
He's angry with you . . he beats on her.
You're angry at him . . you patronize her and try to make her feel stupid.
Either way . . . she loses, doesn't she?
Now, since she's with this man . . you're father/daughter relationship has changed for the bad.
Has the thought ever crossed your mind that the reason why Sable and husband are fighting is because of your hatred for him, your constant trying to put a wedge between them?
He's angry with you . . he beats on her.
You're angry at him . . you patronize her and try to make her feel stupid.
Either way . . . she loses, doesn't she?
There seems to be a misconception here -- and a very unfair and overly dramatic misrepresentation of the wonderful resources available for people experiencing poor mental health. People who are allowing themselves to suffer emotional/physical/mental abuse from someone they love are not crazy, and getting these people help does not mean committing them to an insane asylum like "one flew over the cuckoo's nest". Thousands of people receive restorative therapy to help them make healthy adjustments in their lives from very caring, reputable doctors and therapists, rehabilitation centers (look at the Betty Ford Center for example), spiritual/religious retreats, meditation/yoga therapy, etc.
Your daughter needs a rest and someone to council her and help her realize that by staying with her husband is not the best method to help him deal with his violence and that she is not his punching bag on whom he can take his violent frustrations out on. He needs help too. He's mentally unstable (perhaps he was abused) because he doesn't even understand her purpose in his life ... and that is why he is abusing her. He needs to face the ugly truth that he is abusing the love this sweet woman. However, if neither of them admit their need for outside help, then someone else needs to step in before it's too late. Your daughter allowing herself to be violently abused by this man, or anyone, could be from a hatred of herself and that is not a healthy attitude. No matter what this woman's sun sign, professional help could locate what is truly going on in her mind.
Your daughter needs a rest and someone to council her and help her realize that by staying with her husband is not the best method to help him deal with his violence and that she is not his punching bag on whom he can take his violent frustrations out on. He needs help too. He's mentally unstable (perhaps he was abused) because he doesn't even understand her purpose in his life ... and that is why he is abusing her. He needs to face the ugly truth that he is abusing the love this sweet woman. However, if neither of them admit their need for outside help, then someone else needs to step in before it's too late. Your daughter allowing herself to be violently abused by this man, or anyone, could be from a hatred of herself and that is not a healthy attitude. No matter what this woman's sun sign, professional help could locate what is truly going on in her mind.
abusing the love this sweet woman = abusing the love *OF* this sweet woman
Now it makes me feel if i find a pisces gal for myself, i can do anything on earth to her and still she will support me and love me. Is this signs of Studpidity or bigheart theory?
I say she is completely controlled by her emotions and not intelligence. And for sure worlds most troubles are caused by emotional human beings. So whats the best method to make a pisces girl start thinking inorder to dominate her emotions with her own intelligence?
Gem Dad, glad to hear she is doing better. Shower her with more love, make her feel more of home what she missed. I guess that can make her start thinking. Goodluck
I say she is completely controlled by her emotions and not intelligence. And for sure worlds most troubles are caused by emotional human beings. So whats the best method to make a pisces girl start thinking inorder to dominate her emotions with her own intelligence?
Gem Dad, glad to hear she is doing better. Shower her with more love, make her feel more of home what she missed. I guess that can make her start thinking. Goodluck
"Is this signs of Studpidity or bigheart theory?"
lol, sounds like stupidity, doesn't it? from other's perspective.
How to get her to use her intelligence . . that's the question, isn't it?
Think about it this way . . what is your driving force? That is the point from which we begin anything, what is moving us, pushing us, influencing us . . right? So, if a person is driven by their emotions . . that is where the beginning is . . that is where a person must "touch" the other.
Take your sister, for example, thelibran, it's obvious from your posts that because she doesn't use sensibility, it's irritating for you because you can see logic in places where she can't. So, if you KNOW that she has to feel first, think second . . than wouldn't it seem logical to tap into what she feels first, to get her to think second?
It would be just like someone who is very logical, but, lacking in emotions . . would you plead to their emotions if you were trying to get through to them? Of course not.
Pisces ARE pure emotions first and foremost . . that is where you begin to get through to them . . they aren't going to respond the way you want them to by trying to push intellectually reasoning UNTIL you let them feel first.
The problem here is in "understanding". People operate in their lives differently, why is it so difficult to understand that Pisces people view life on a different level from others?
With this particular issue in which this thread was started . . I don't think people are understanding what the "real" problem is. The focus seems to be on the husband and what he did violently to his wife . . that's not the problem . . the problem is HER and not having anyone letting her FEEL. Husband can't understand why she loves her Dad; Dad can't understand why she loves her husband . . she just does love both, why not be allowed to do that?
She's being pulled back and forth between the two. The husband isn't trying to kill her literally . . because if he wanted her dead . . she would be. There's a difference between "Murderer" and "Batterer". A man who's aim is to kill his wife, doesn't batter her first . . he kills her. The jumper jumps . . if they threaten to jump, then they are crying out for help.
He needs help, she needs help . . not someone (family member) trying to solve the issue by commmiting more violence . . that only perpetuates the problem. Nobody is trying to help her, or him . . just get vengence.
lol, sounds like stupidity, doesn't it? from other's perspective.
How to get her to use her intelligence . . that's the question, isn't it?
Think about it this way . . what is your driving force? That is the point from which we begin anything, what is moving us, pushing us, influencing us . . right? So, if a person is driven by their emotions . . that is where the beginning is . . that is where a person must "touch" the other.
Take your sister, for example, thelibran, it's obvious from your posts that because she doesn't use sensibility, it's irritating for you because you can see logic in places where she can't. So, if you KNOW that she has to feel first, think second . . than wouldn't it seem logical to tap into what she feels first, to get her to think second?
It would be just like someone who is very logical, but, lacking in emotions . . would you plead to their emotions if you were trying to get through to them? Of course not.
Pisces ARE pure emotions first and foremost . . that is where you begin to get through to them . . they aren't going to respond the way you want them to by trying to push intellectually reasoning UNTIL you let them feel first.
The problem here is in "understanding". People operate in their lives differently, why is it so difficult to understand that Pisces people view life on a different level from others?
With this particular issue in which this thread was started . . I don't think people are understanding what the "real" problem is. The focus seems to be on the husband and what he did violently to his wife . . that's not the problem . . the problem is HER and not having anyone letting her FEEL. Husband can't understand why she loves her Dad; Dad can't understand why she loves her husband . . she just does love both, why not be allowed to do that?
She's being pulled back and forth between the two. The husband isn't trying to kill her literally . . because if he wanted her dead . . she would be. There's a difference between "Murderer" and "Batterer". A man who's aim is to kill his wife, doesn't batter her first . . he kills her. The jumper jumps . . if they threaten to jump, then they are crying out for help.
He needs help, she needs help . . not someone (family member) trying to solve the issue by commmiting more violence . . that only perpetuates the problem. Nobody is trying to help her, or him . . just get vengence.
thelibran, I'm with you, generalizing all pisceans based on this one woman's mental condition must be very discouraging. While her sun sign may play a part, it's not the only part. This woman has serious issues and someone needs to take her seriously and help her get healthy.
The most disturbing part in P-Angel's comment is how she's turning the dad into the equal of the abusive husband all to defend her case about Pisces women's masochistic psyche...maybe pisces's women are more masochistic than others but each person is special and the sun sign is only one part of the equation. So you have to be very careful here P-Angel with all your good intentions to not identify so much with this abused woman that you confuse her with YOU, with how YOU reacted when you were abused by your ex!
I say again, the dad may have come on too strong here and there, but he shouldn't be made to feel guilty for his daughter's distress! The one good thing you said here P-Angel that is hard to accept but true is that PEOPLE WILL DO WHAT THEY WANT TO DO WHEN AND IF THEY DECIDE TO DO IT: So this girl is not going to leave this guy until it rings a bell in her heard, though she may be in her grave when she realizes it!
I say again, the dad may have come on too strong here and there, but he shouldn't be made to feel guilty for his daughter's distress! The one good thing you said here P-Angel that is hard to accept but true is that PEOPLE WILL DO WHAT THEY WANT TO DO WHEN AND IF THEY DECIDE TO DO IT: So this girl is not going to leave this guy until it rings a bell in her heard, though she may be in her grave when she realizes it!
Dad is guilty of not letting his daughter be who she is . . he says horrible, retched things to her about the man she loves . . if you find that acceptable, Maia, and feel that he has no part to play in her "emotional distress", then please don't breed, for your future childrens sake.
Pathfinder, I'm talking about helping her with her issues . . that is my whole point. If you listen to the quotes from the dad, as to the things he says to her, which are attempts to tear her feelings about her man apart . . that is where the emotional problem started. It's likely, from the way he talks, that he's been tearing both of his daughters apart emotionally for a long time. Him, nor, anyone else seems to find this as the root to the problem.
Think about that . . if you're made to feel like crap, from your family . . then isn't that how you are going to view yourself?
It's likely that this girl is a well-rounded, intelligent woman with hopes and dreams, but, is broken down, with nowhere to turn. She comes to her safety-zone, her stair, in which, according to her father, she has always gone there when life was miserable to her. What happens while on this stair, her trying to gain some kind of control, some kind of resolve? She gets pounded even more for all her stupid mistakes, like betraying the father.
There's no aid to her . . only anger at the husband. I feel sorry for her because I know what it's like to be a female Pisces. We feel first, think later . . all of us, whether thelibran, maia, dad, you, or anybody else disputes that or not. You all can use logic and reasoning all you want to try and debate this . . that's fine, fire away with logic . . it will get you nowhere with the Pisces.
We feel first . . think second . . that is the way to open our eyes. Agree or not, I don't really care . . but, what I do care about is that this women needs help and the only thing people can see is . . the husband.
Hasn't everyone in this world, either loved, protected, liked, befriended an asshole in some shape or form? It's not until later, in hindsight, that you realize what a dick the person really was . . yet, this woman isn't allowed to make that mistake. He's an ass, that's established . . SHE NEEDS HELP, and not protection from the husband. If he wanted her dead . . she would be.
She needs help with her emotions. If that isn't addressed, her next man will be just like the first. When the emotional abuse stops, she'll wake-up.
Pathfinder, I'm talking about helping her with her issues . . that is my whole point. If you listen to the quotes from the dad, as to the things he says to her, which are attempts to tear her feelings about her man apart . . that is where the emotional problem started. It's likely, from the way he talks, that he's been tearing both of his daughters apart emotionally for a long time. Him, nor, anyone else seems to find this as the root to the problem.
Think about that . . if you're made to feel like crap, from your family . . then isn't that how you are going to view yourself?
It's likely that this girl is a well-rounded, intelligent woman with hopes and dreams, but, is broken down, with nowhere to turn. She comes to her safety-zone, her stair, in which, according to her father, she has always gone there when life was miserable to her. What happens while on this stair, her trying to gain some kind of control, some kind of resolve? She gets pounded even more for all her stupid mistakes, like betraying the father.
There's no aid to her . . only anger at the husband. I feel sorry for her because I know what it's like to be a female Pisces. We feel first, think later . . all of us, whether thelibran, maia, dad, you, or anybody else disputes that or not. You all can use logic and reasoning all you want to try and debate this . . that's fine, fire away with logic . . it will get you nowhere with the Pisces.
We feel first . . think second . . that is the way to open our eyes. Agree or not, I don't really care . . but, what I do care about is that this women needs help and the only thing people can see is . . the husband.
Hasn't everyone in this world, either loved, protected, liked, befriended an asshole in some shape or form? It's not until later, in hindsight, that you realize what a dick the person really was . . yet, this woman isn't allowed to make that mistake. He's an ass, that's established . . SHE NEEDS HELP, and not protection from the husband. If he wanted her dead . . she would be.
She needs help with her emotions. If that isn't addressed, her next man will be just like the first. When the emotional abuse stops, she'll wake-up.
We learn from our parents, and if our parents say things to us, such as, to quote dad, "What the fuck is wrong w/ you? We didn't raise you to be this foolish, why are you so addicted to this jack-ass? IT'S OVER, don't you get it'stop it!", then this kind of behaviour is what we take with us.
In other words, what the father is saying, is . . . you're fucked up.
So, she is.
In other words, what the father is saying, is . . . you're fucked up.
So, she is.
PA, I've been saying all along that this woman needs and could benefit from therapeutic counseling. There are caring, trained professionals and/or support groups who can help her out of her confusion and depression. The root of the problem is not so much specific people as it is in her mindset. If it's not her father or her husband, it will be someone else. Agree with me or not, this woman is making a concious choice to be physically abused. This choice could be based on how she feels about herself (which is a result of many things) and there are people who will take advantage of her wrong thinking. She may not have been able to control what she experienced while growing up that has twisted her thinking, however, something CAN be done NOW to help her get understanding and set a new course for her life.
The people who love her and care for her need to get her the help she needs.
The people who love her and care for her need to get her the help she needs.
concious = conscious
Pisces women are emotional and fragile to anything and everything. Dad should not have told her bad things about her hubby. - I agree. But Dad already told so. also went and beaten him up. Now whats next? She loves both of them. But why does her saggi hubby used to abuse her? Why she always kept her mouth shut? Is she guilty of something which her dad is not aware of? Or does she expected her hubby to stop this abuse someday? May be she did expected him to realize his mistakes by taking all these pain as LS mentioned before. Now since things has gone so far, Does she has to be allowed to make her own decision and then go ahead with that, or let her dad take control of the situation? Or get her hubby to her bedside and talk things over than dusting under carpet? Thats the current problem. Finding solution. But to find solution, one has to be aware of the root of all these problems.
I twist my sisters silly pointless interests in my own way. Talk logic, project the mood and feel of my logical conclusion, make her dream in her own way then slowly align it somewhere in between... Manipulating her infact so that she will device a method to figure out things beyond what she normally see before she jump to a final conclusion. It works as long as i keep track of her. And if i maintain it for a year, i will transform her into something more acceptable for my parents who are always worried about her nature and attitude.
I twist my sisters silly pointless interests in my own way. Talk logic, project the mood and feel of my logical conclusion, make her dream in her own way then slowly align it somewhere in between... Manipulating her infact so that she will device a method to figure out things beyond what she normally see before she jump to a final conclusion. It works as long as i keep track of her. And if i maintain it for a year, i will transform her into something more acceptable for my parents who are always worried about her nature and attitude.
I'm sorry for what is goning on w/ you & your daughter..(especially your daughter). It seems as if, no matter what you try to prove 7 do, there is nothing you can do that will have a lasting & positive affect on her.....And, really, there is nothing you can do. She HAS become addicted (& brainwashed) to this asshole's abuse. Even if she does get away from him (thank God), she just might go back to him..
I went out w/ this (taurus) girl, things were going great, until she left me for her abusive ex-boyfriend.
I'll hope she will be delivered from him...it isnt a great feeling, to know that some one, is getting abused...i know.
I went out w/ this (taurus) girl, things were going great, until she left me for her abusive ex-boyfriend.
I'll hope she will be delivered from him...it isnt a great feeling, to know that some one, is getting abused...i know.
The Daughter will never NOT back up the abusive husband because she is preserving the peace between herself and her Husband. At the end of the day, litterally, she will have to go back to that house and will have to answer to him, when NOBODY ELSE is there. It is her way to survive her hell, and she knows it. She is not stupid and am sure not all that blind either but indeed STILL in love and therefore NOT READY ready to leave either. I have done this.
She needs to be surrounded by people that love her, she is reaching out to you, DAD, what does that tell you? Maybe you should just 1) get her out now or 2) let her ride it out. But if you get her out do it properly so that there is no going back. She cannot get out by herself until she stops being in love. Aside from this in love stuff, a big or sudden change is in order for her to realise that she wants out.
Do make sure no offspring comes from this marriage. It just adds further difficulty...
She needs to be surrounded by people that love her, she is reaching out to you, DAD, what does that tell you? Maybe you should just 1) get her out now or 2) let her ride it out. But if you get her out do it properly so that there is no going back. She cannot get out by herself until she stops being in love. Aside from this in love stuff, a big or sudden change is in order for her to realise that she wants out.
Do make sure no offspring comes from this marriage. It just adds further difficulty...
I find it quite curious, though, that the mother and sister aren't freaked out. Very little mention of them, much less, a description of thier concern. I should think that women would be more prone to displaying their mothery nurturing instincts, then the male figure in the family structure.
Hmmmmm . . a bit odd and disturbing, if there's any truth to my implications.
Hmmmmm . . a bit odd and disturbing, if there's any truth to my implications.
What I actually don't understand is the writer's username 'JustMakingSh!tUp'
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