Unsure what to do about this guy

So basically this we began seeing each other, he has a bad history of toxic relationships and I am just getting out of a long term relationship so we both agreed we didn’t want to date but wanted to keep hanging out and see where things go. So far, great. We talked all the time, we would hangout at least once a week, we would cuddle laugh and kiss but haven’t slept together. He’s ignored me once in the past over text so I waited a few days and tried again, when I brought up him ignoring me he said “yeah I do that sometimes, bare with me” but never did it again!

Everything was still going great, until he came over last week and we were kissing and it start leading to sex. I didn’t initiate it but I also didn’t stop him..... he eventually asked if I wanted to and I said yes but when it actually came down to it.. he couldn’t “preform”. Ive never experienced anything like this and I could see he was embarrassed but like I did whatever I could to make it not awkward. I still cuddled him, and changed the subject but he was still being distant. He ended up going home and the next day I texted him as I usually would, at the end of our convo he apologized for what had happened the night before..... but I reassured him it’s okay!! He said it’s because he hasn’t slept with anyone in 2 years!!!!

Anyways, even during that convo I could tell he was being most distant than usual. So I let him be for a couple days. When I messaged him after 2 days asking how he is.. he didn’t reply, so I sent a funny meme the same day, he still didn’t reply..... I waited another 2 days and messaged AGAIN saying I hope he isn’t too sad that his football team lost. HE STILL DIDNT REPLY!

Now I’m mind boggled..... I keep overthinking everything that happened or was said that night. He literally told me a week ago he liked me and now he isn’t replying? I’m not sure if I should just consider it done or if should wait a week or so and try again. I don’t want to look stupid messaging him again but I also don’t want him to feel he needs to be done over one bad night!!!!! I want to straight up just ask him what happened but I also don’t want to make the convo super emotional because I can tell he doesn’t like being emotional. Has anyone else experienced this with a A guy or a Taurus before? It’s so strange. He’s been single forever - we get along great... I just don’t understand why he’s pushing me away!

He did also tell me there was a girl he met a 3 years ago and he stopped answering her. And when I asked him why he did it he said because he gets like that and then I said so you didn’t like her— And he said no I did like her.. I just wanted to be single. I can’t help but feel he was really hurt before so now he’s avoiding any type of feelings lol.

Btw we talk over Instagram

So I can see him reading my messages when he ignores me but he won’t open my actual insta stories anymore?? When he always has!

Leave him alone and move on. He seems like damaged goods. He openly tells you he ghosts and doesn't respond to messages, proves it, and you want to know what the issue is?

It kind of doesn't matter at this point, he just doesn't care enough to pursue.

This is not a case of chasing him down to win him, it will just push him away further. You gave it your all, now you should back away and forget about him to see if he makes an effort.

You've done more then your fair share of initiating.

Posted by saggurl88

Leave him alone and move on. He seems like damaged goods. He openly tells you he ghosts and doesn't respond to messages, proves it, and you want to know what the issue is?

It kind of doesn't matter at this point, he just doesn't care enough to pursue.

This is not a case of chasing him down to win him, it will just push him away further. You gave it your all, now you should back away and forget about him to see if he makes an effort.

You've done more then your fair share of initiating.

Bingo! She's asking a question that HE has ALREADY answered. "So you didn't like her? I did. I just want to be single."

He's just not that into you. He wants to be single. Stop chasing. Stop waiting.

Going to be brutally honest here. He likely wasn't able to "perform" because of his own internal anxieties and getting into his own head. He is not, and will not be ready for anything serious. He has demons and baggage he needs to address, that he has refused to do so even after all these years. And from the sound of it, he will continue to ride that road for the time being.

I cannot tell you what to do, but if you decide to run this road with him, it will be a hyper difficult one where you will be punished for the people that came before you, and it will be a very long and difficult journey for you to get to where you want to be. It will cause you to question yourself as a woman, it will cause you to cry, it will cause you to be angry, it will undermine your self worth. Not all the time, but likely more often than not. So you have to decide for yourself, if you want to go through all of that, and not even know if you end up with the outcome you want. Or if you want to find someone that is already in a mental space to start a relationship with less issues. But understand, if you decide for the road less traveled, and more difficult, then you may very well be damaged as well while doing so.

Just gotta let him be for the time being. CANNOT push a Taurus towards any direction they’re not already headed. Although I disagree with the rest here... I once had a perfectly healthy ex-boyfriend with this problem... it took a few weeks of “activity” to solve it, then he was just fine. Turns out it wasn’t him not being attracted to me, it was his own sexual performance insecurities. He got over it, but it was after he was comfortable with me. So this guy may have a similar demon he’s battling now. His past toxic relationships might have done a number on his erection psychology. And now he’s avoiding you because he’s connecting being with you to more failure.

Let him process his thoughts and feelings. Unlike everyone else, I don’t think the guy is trying to hurt you or play around. Sex and performance are HUGE issues for men. Hard to even explain how important these issues are to women. So imagine instead that he’s trying to protect his already fragile sexual ego. And maybe he’ll have to do that for a while. You did good by being calm and friendly. You showed him you’re not a threat. But don’t chase the guy. Let him deal with his problems because he’s in it deep. I’m almost certain it has nothing at all to do with you. You’re not the only one who can feel insecure, remember this. I sense that he’s struggling a lot. Don’t think he rejected you. There’s no proof of this. If anything, he can’t face his feelings and his sexual problems right now. And this could be because he likes you enough to not want to make a fool of himself (remember that Taurus are also very sensitive about their sexual performance. They want to be the best you’ve had.)

By the way, I agree this guy is damaged goods. He’s not going to be there for you the way you want, even if he comes back. Just a heads up.

Posted by lilyofthevalley

Just gotta let him be for the time being. CANNOT push a Taurus towards any direction they’re not already headed. Although I disagree with the rest here... I once had a perfectly healthy ex-boyfriend with this problem... it took a few weeks of “activity” to solve it, then he was just fine. Turns out it wasn’t him not being attracted to me, it was his own sexual performance insecurities. He got over it, but it was after he was comfortable with me. So this guy may have a similar demon he’s battling now. His past toxic relationships might have done a number on his erection psychology. And now he’s avoiding you because he’s connecting being with you to more failure.

Let him process his thoughts and feelings. Unlike everyone else, I don’t think the guy is trying to hurt you or play around. Sex and performance are HUGE issues for men. Hard to even explain how important these issues are to women. So imagine instead that he’s trying to protect his already fragile sexual ego. And maybe he’ll have to do that for a while. You did good by being calm and friendly. You showed him you’re not a threat. But don’t chase the guy. Let him deal with his problems because he’s in it deep. I’m almost certain it has nothing at all to do with you. You’re not the only one who can feel insecure, remember this. I sense that he’s struggling a lot. Don’t think he rejected you. There’s no proof of this. If anything, he can’t face his feelings and his sexual problems right now. And this could be because he likes you enough to not want to make a fool of himself (remember that Taurus are also very sensitive about their sexual performance. They want to be the best you’ve had.)

By the way, I agree this guy is damaged goods. He’s not going to be there for you the way you want, even if he comes back. Just a heads up.

Thanks for your advice!

I agree that he is THAT insecure right now about it, because he used to always talk up his sex game lol. When we did last talk (the day after it happened) he told me he felt like a “little bitch” lol and I said “don’t be dramatic, no reason to feel that way😘” and he said “ Well now that I know you're cool with me being a little bitch ass I guess it's not that bad but still!😠” so clearly it was really bothering him, but I really did all I could by reassuring him and I was still being so flirty and into him - it’s him that was being distant. Anyways, I think I’m just going to leave him for now.... hopefully he gets out of this funk and reaches out!

Posted by Phantom_Dangus

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by lilyofthevalley

Just gotta let him be for the time being. CANNOT push a Taurus towards any direction they’re not already headed. Although I disagree with the rest here... I once had a perfectly healthy ex-boyfriend with this problem... it took a few weeks of “activity” to solve it, then he was just fine. Turns out it wasn’t him not being attracted to me, it was his own sexual performance insecurities. He got over it, but it was after he was comfortable with me. So this guy may have a similar demon he’s battling now. His past toxic relationships might have done a number on his erection psychology. And now he’s avoiding you because he’s connecting being with you to more failure.

Let him process his thoughts and feelings. Unlike everyone else, I don’t think the guy is trying to hurt you or play around. Sex and performance are HUGE issues for men. Hard to even explain how important these issues are to women. So imagine instead that he’s trying to protect his already fragile sexual ego. And maybe he’ll have to do that for a while. You did good by being calm and friendly. You showed him you’re not a threat. But don’t chase the guy. Let him deal with his problems because he’s in it deep. I’m almost certain it has nothing at all to do with you. You’re not the only one who can feel insecure, remember this. I sense that he’s struggling a lot. Don’t think he rejected you. There’s no proof of this. If anything, he can’t face his feelings and his sexual problems right now. And this could be because he likes you enough to not want to make a fool of himself (remember that Taurus are also very sensitive about their sexual performance. They want to be the best you’ve had.)

By the way, I agree this guy is damaged goods. He’s not going to be there for you the way you want, even if he comes back. Just a heads up.

Thanks for your advice!

I agree that he is THAT insecure right now about it, because he used to always talk up his sex game lol. When we did last talk (the day after it happened) he told me he felt like a “little bitch” lol and I said “don’t be dramatic, no reason to feel that way😘” and he said “ Well now that I know you're cool with me being a little bitch ass I guess it's not that bad but still!😠” so clearly it was really bothering him, but I really did all I could by reassuring him and I was still being so flirty and into him - it’s him that was being distant. Anyways, I think I’m just going to leave him for now.... hopefully he gets out of this funk and reaches out!

So, you actually did talk to him the next day?

click to expand

Yes!!! Just the next day though, I messaged him as I normally would asking how his day was and how he slept and we had a normal convo........ and then he brought it up and apologized. I said it was all good and reassured him that we were friends first and that he doesn’t need to feel embarrassed but he said he still felt like a bitch.. and then began taking hours to reply and acting so distant. I’m not a guy, I don’t know how hurt he could have been by it so I just took the hours between replies that he wanted some space for a bit.. so I didn’t msg him for 2 days and then when I did... he didn’t answer and here we are lol

just checked WebMD and it said the most effective treatment for impotence is astrology so you're on the right path...

Posted by Phantom_Dangus

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by Phantom_Dangus

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by lilyofthevalley

Just gotta let him be for the time being. CANNOT push a Taurus towards any direction they’re not already headed. Although I disagree with the rest here... I once had a perfectly healthy ex-boyfriend with this problem... it took a few weeks of “activity” to solve it, then he was just fine. Turns out it wasn’t him not being attracted to me, it was his own sexual performance insecurities. He got over it, but it was after he was comfortable with me. So this guy may have a similar demon he’s battling now. His past toxic relationships might have done a number on his erection psychology. And now he’s avoiding you because he’s connecting being with you to more failure.

Let him process his thoughts and feelings. Unlike everyone else, I don’t think the guy is trying to hurt you or play around. Sex and performance are HUGE issues for men. Hard to even explain how important these issues are to women. So imagine instead that he’s trying to protect his already fragile sexual ego. And maybe he’ll have to do that for a while. You did good by being calm and friendly. You showed him you’re not a threat. But don’t chase the guy. Let him deal with his problems because he’s in it deep. I’m almost certain it has nothing at all to do with you. You’re not the only one who can feel insecure, remember this. I sense that he’s struggling a lot. Don’t think he rejected you. There’s no proof of this. If anything, he can’t face his feelings and his sexual problems right now. And this could be because he likes you enough to not want to make a fool of himself (remember that Taurus are also very sensitive about their sexual performance. They want to be the best you’ve had.)

By the way, I agree this guy is damaged goods. He’s not going to be there for you the way you want, even if he comes back. Just a heads up.

Thanks for your advice!

I agree that he is THAT insecure right now about it, because he used to always talk up his sex game lol. When we did last talk (the day after it happened) he told me he felt like a “little bitch” lol and I said “don’t be dramatic, no reason to feel that way😘” and he said “ Well now that I know you're cool with me being a little bitch ass I guess it's not that bad but still!😠” so clearly it was really bothering him, but I really did all I could by reassuring him and I was still being so flirty and into him - it’s him that was being distant. Anyways, I think I’m just going to leave him for now.... hopefully he gets out of this funk and reaches out!

So, you actually did talk to him the next day?

Yes!!! Just the next day though, I messaged him as I normally would asking how his day was and how he slept and we had a normal convo........ and then he brought it up and apologized. I said it was all good and reassured him that we were friends first and that he doesn’t need to feel embarrassed but he said he still felt like a bitch.. and then began taking hours to reply and acting so distant. I’m not a guy, I don’t know how hurt he could have been by it so I just took the hours between replies that he wanted some space for a bit.. so I didn’t msg him for 2 days and then when I did... he didn’t answer and here we are lol

How long has it been? Maybe you're considering yourself ghosted when he's just being slow.

I'm not concerned about his impotence, honestly. You have no clue if that is a regular thing or a fluke. It's the rest of the stuff he has said about relationships that makes me think he's not headed where you want to head.

click to expand

It’s been about 5 days, but I know he is ignoring me. He wouldn’t ever go this long without reaching out if he was just busy or something. And everything he said about relationships, and anything else didn’t bother me. Ive known him from a distance for years and I’ve saw him in those other relationships, he is a good guy but his lows are VERY low so when the relationship ends he usually pretty messed up for a bit. I just got out of a serious long term relationship so I was okay just being single and being more of a casual friends thing... and every time he would bring up how he has ghosted girls in the past because of his need to be single, he was reassure me that he it isn’t the case with me............ but now I’m seeing it clearly is lol. He also said he wants to be single because he feels like he falls head first into relationships with the wrong people and end up getting himself hurt.

Posted by Phantom_Dangus

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by Phantom_Dangus

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by Phantom_Dangus

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by lilyofthevalley

Just gotta let him be for the time being. CANNOT push a Taurus towards any direction they’re not already headed. Although I disagree with the rest here... I once had a perfectly healthy ex-boyfriend with this problem... it took a few weeks of “activity” to solve it, then he was just fine. Turns out it wasn’t him not being attracted to me, it was his own sexual performance insecurities. He got over it, but it was after he was comfortable with me. So this guy may have a similar demon he’s battling now. His past toxic relationships might have done a number on his erection psychology. And now he’s avoiding you because he’s connecting being with you to more failure.

Let him process his thoughts and feelings. Unlike everyone else, I don’t think the guy is trying to hurt you or play around. Sex and performance are HUGE issues for men. Hard to even explain how important these issues are to women. So imagine instead that he’s trying to protect his already fragile sexual ego. And maybe he’ll have to do that for a while. You did good by being calm and friendly. You showed him you’re not a threat. But don’t chase the guy. Let him deal with his problems because he’s in it deep. I’m almost certain it has nothing at all to do with you. You’re not the only one who can feel insecure, remember this. I sense that he’s struggling a lot. Don’t think he rejected you. There’s no proof of this. If anything, he can’t face his feelings and his sexual problems right now. And this could be because he likes you enough to not want to make a fool of himself (remember that Taurus are also very sensitive about their sexual performance. They want to be the best you’ve had.)

By the way, I agree this guy is damaged goods. He’s not going to be there for you the way you want, even if he comes back. Just a heads up.

Thanks for your advice!

I agree that he is THAT insecure right now about it, because he used to always talk up his sex game lol. When we did last talk (the day after it happened) he told me he felt like a “little bitch” lol and I said “don’t be dramatic, no reason to feel that way😘” and he said “ Well now that I know you're cool with me being a little bitch ass I guess it's not that bad but still!😠” so clearly it was really bothering him, but I really did all I could by reassuring him and I was still being so flirty and into him - it’s him that was being distant. Anyways, I think I’m just going to leave him for now.... hopefully he gets out of this funk and reaches out!

So, you actually did talk to him the next day?

Yes!!! Just the next day though, I messaged him as I normally would asking how his day was and how he slept and we had a normal convo........ and then he brought it up and apologized. I said it was all good and reassured him that we were friends first and that he doesn’t need to feel embarrassed but he said he still felt like a bitch.. and then began taking hours to reply and acting so distant. I’m not a guy, I don’t know how hurt he could have been by it so I just took the hours between replies that he wanted some space for a bit.. so I didn’t msg him for 2 days and then when I did... he didn’t answer and here we are lol

How long has it been? Maybe you're considering yourself ghosted when he's just being slow.

I'm not concerned about his impotence, honestly. You have no clue if that is a regular thing or a fluke. It's the rest of the stuff he has said about relationships that makes me think he's not headed where you want to head.

It’s been about 5 days, but I know he is ignoring me. He wouldn’t ever go this long without reaching out if he was just busy or something. And everything he said about relationships, and anything else didn’t bother me. Ive known him from a distance for years and I’ve saw him in those other relationships, he is a good guy but his lows are VERY low so when the relationship ends he usually pretty messed up for a bit. I just got out of a serious long term relationship so I was okay just being single and being more of a casual friends thing... and every time he would bring up how he has ghosted girls in the past because of his need to be single, he was reassure me that he it isn’t the case with me............ but now I’m seeing it clearly is lol. He also said he wants to be single because he feels like he falls head first into relationships with the wrong people and end up getting himself hurt.

Isn't it a bitch when someone warns you about what they always do, but they tell you you're the exception, and then you see them do it to you too? *sigh* I'm sure he didn't think he was going to. So much for good intentions.

click to expand

It really is, who knows what I was thinking! But thanks for all your advice and talking with me through all this!

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by lilyofthevalley

Just gotta let him be for the time being. CANNOT push a Taurus towards any direction they’re not already headed. Although I disagree with the rest here... I once had a perfectly healthy ex-boyfriend with this problem... it took a few weeks of “activity” to solve it, then he was just fine. Turns out it wasn’t him not being attracted to me, it was his own sexual performance insecurities. He got over it, but it was after he was comfortable with me. So this guy may have a similar demon he’s battling now. His past toxic relationships might have done a number on his erection psychology. And now he’s avoiding you because he’s connecting being with you to more failure.

Let him process his thoughts and feelings. Unlike everyone else, I don’t think the guy is trying to hurt you or play around. Sex and performance are HUGE issues for men. Hard to even explain how important these issues are to women. So imagine instead that he’s trying to protect his already fragile sexual ego. And maybe he’ll have to do that for a while. You did good by being calm and friendly. You showed him you’re not a threat. But don’t chase the guy. Let him deal with his problems because he’s in it deep. I’m almost certain it has nothing at all to do with you. You’re not the only one who can feel insecure, remember this. I sense that he’s struggling a lot. Don’t think he rejected you. There’s no proof of this. If anything, he can’t face his feelings and his sexual problems right now. And this could be because he likes you enough to not want to make a fool of himself (remember that Taurus are also very sensitive about their sexual performance. They want to be the best you’ve had.)

By the way, I agree this guy is damaged goods. He’s not going to be there for you the way you want, even if he comes back. Just a heads up.

Thanks for your advice!

I agree that he is THAT insecure right now about it, because he used to always talk up his sex game lol. When we did last talk (the day after it happened) he told me he felt like a “little bitch” lol and I said “don’t be dramatic, no reason to feel that way😘” and he said “ Well now that I know you're cool with me being a little bitch ass I guess it's not that bad but still!😠” so clearly it was really bothering him, but I really did all I could by reassuring him and I was still being so flirty and into him - it’s him that was being distant. Anyways, I think I’m just going to leave him for now.... hopefully he gets out of this funk and reaches out!

click to expand

Yes. He’s just being weird. For God’s sake don’t think it’s because of you. Men ALWAYS blame themselves when they want to have sex but can’t. Never a girl. It’s that masculine pride. Be chill and he’ll come back. Also, don’t mention the incident anymore unless he does. Let him think it’s so normal it’s not even worth talking about. I think you’re already doing a good job of this but just a reminder. Don’t want to psych the guy out even more than he already is.

Posted by lilyofthevalley

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by lilyofthevalley

Just gotta let him be for the time being. CANNOT push a Taurus towards any direction they’re not already headed. Although I disagree with the rest here... I once had a perfectly healthy ex-boyfriend with this problem... it took a few weeks of “activity” to solve it, then he was just fine. Turns out it wasn’t him not being attracted to me, it was his own sexual performance insecurities. He got over it, but it was after he was comfortable with me. So this guy may have a similar demon he’s battling now. His past toxic relationships might have done a number on his erection psychology. And now he’s avoiding you because he’s connecting being with you to more failure.

Let him process his thoughts and feelings. Unlike everyone else, I don’t think the guy is trying to hurt you or play around. Sex and performance are HUGE issues for men. Hard to even explain how important these issues are to women. So imagine instead that he’s trying to protect his already fragile sexual ego. And maybe he’ll have to do that for a while. You did good by being calm and friendly. You showed him you’re not a threat. But don’t chase the guy. Let him deal with his problems because he’s in it deep. I’m almost certain it has nothing at all to do with you. You’re not the only one who can feel insecure, remember this. I sense that he’s struggling a lot. Don’t think he rejected you. There’s no proof of this. If anything, he can’t face his feelings and his sexual problems right now. And this could be because he likes you enough to not want to make a fool of himself (remember that Taurus are also very sensitive about their sexual performance. They want to be the best you’ve had.)

By the way, I agree this guy is damaged goods. He’s not going to be there for you the way you want, even if he comes back. Just a heads up.

Thanks for your advice!

I agree that he is THAT insecure right now about it, because he used to always talk up his sex game lol. When we did last talk (the day after it happened) he told me he felt like a “little bitch” lol and I said “don’t be dramatic, no reason to feel that way😘” and he said “ Well now that I know you're cool with me being a little bitch ass I guess it's not that bad but still!😠” so clearly it was really bothering him, but I really did all I could by reassuring him and I was still being so flirty and into him - it’s him that was being distant. Anyways, I think I’m just going to leave him for now.... hopefully he gets out of this funk and reaches out!

Yes. He’s just being weird. For God’s sake don’t think it’s because of you. Men ALWAYS blame themselves when they want to have sex but can’t. Never a girl. It’s that masculine pride. Be chill and he’ll come back. Also, don’t mention the incident anymore unless he does. Let him think it’s so normal it’s not even worth talking about. I think you’re already doing a good job of this but just a reminder. Don’t want to psych the guy out even more than he already is.

click to expand

Thanks!! I wouldn’t think it’s because of me either but I worry he doesn’t believe me when I say its all good!!! Lol. So do u think I shouldn’t msg him ever and just wait for him to come back? Or should I msg him after some time? You’re right! I wouldn’t ever bring it up ha.

Posted by Phantom_Dangus

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by Phantom_Dangus

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by Phantom_Dangus

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by lilyofthevalley

Just gotta let him be for the time being. CANNOT push a Taurus towards any direction they’re not already headed. Although I disagree with the rest here... I once had a perfectly healthy ex-boyfriend with this problem... it took a few weeks of “activity” to solve it, then he was just fine. Turns out it wasn’t him not being attracted to me, it was his own sexual performance insecurities. He got over it, but it was after he was comfortable with me. So this guy may have a similar demon he’s battling now. His past toxic relationships might have done a number on his erection psychology. And now he’s avoiding you because he’s connecting being with you to more failure.

Let him process his thoughts and feelings. Unlike everyone else, I don’t think the guy is trying to hurt you or play around. Sex and performance are HUGE issues for men. Hard to even explain how important these issues are to women. So imagine instead that he’s trying to protect his already fragile sexual ego. And maybe he’ll have to do that for a while. You did good by being calm and friendly. You showed him you’re not a threat. But don’t chase the guy. Let him deal with his problems because he’s in it deep. I’m almost certain it has nothing at all to do with you. You’re not the only one who can feel insecure, remember this. I sense that he’s struggling a lot. Don’t think he rejected you. There’s no proof of this. If anything, he can’t face his feelings and his sexual problems right now. And this could be because he likes you enough to not want to make a fool of himself (remember that Taurus are also very sensitive about their sexual performance. They want to be the best you’ve had.)

By the way, I agree this guy is damaged goods. He’s not going to be there for you the way you want, even if he comes back. Just a heads up.

Thanks for your advice!

I agree that he is THAT insecure right now about it, because he used to always talk up his sex game lol. When we did last talk (the day after it happened) he told me he felt like a “little bitch” lol and I said “don’t be dramatic, no reason to feel that way😘” and he said “ Well now that I know you're cool with me being a little bitch ass I guess it's not that bad but still!😠” so clearly it was really bothering him, but I really did all I could by reassuring him and I was still being so flirty and into him - it’s him that was being distant. Anyways, I think I’m just going to leave him for now.... hopefully he gets out of this funk and reaches out!

So, you actually did talk to him the next day?

Yes!!! Just the next day though, I messaged him as I normally would asking how his day was and how he slept and we had a normal convo........ and then he brought it up and apologized. I said it was all good and reassured him that we were friends first and that he doesn’t need to feel embarrassed but he said he still felt like a bitch.. and then began taking hours to reply and acting so distant. I’m not a guy, I don’t know how hurt he could have been by it so I just took the hours between replies that he wanted some space for a bit.. so I didn’t msg him for 2 days and then when I did... he didn’t answer and here we are lol

How long has it been? Maybe you're considering yourself ghosted when he's just being slow.

I'm not concerned about his impotence, honestly. You have no clue if that is a regular thing or a fluke. It's the rest of the stuff he has said about relationships that makes me think he's not headed where you want to head.

It’s been about 5 days, but I know he is ignoring me. He wouldn’t ever go this long without reaching out if he was just busy or something. And everything he said about relationships, and anything else didn’t bother me. Ive known him from a distance for years and I’ve saw him in those other relationships, he is a good guy but his lows are VERY low so when the relationship ends he usually pretty messed up for a bit. I just got out of a serious long term relationship so I was okay just being single and being more of a casual friends thing... and every time he would bring up how he has ghosted girls in the past because of his need to be single, he was reassure me that he it isn’t the case with me............ but now I’m seeing it clearly is lol. He also said he wants to be single because he feels like he falls head first into relationships with the wrong people and end up getting himself hurt.

Isn't it a bitch when someone warns you about what they always do, but they tell you you're the exception, and then you see them do it to you too? *sigh* I'm sure he didn't think he was going to. So much for good intentions.

click to expand

To be fair... he did quote “like” the girl he did this to before. But she just wasn’t able to figure out the code to open the safe of his huge insecurities once he had locked her out. Maybe OP can figure out the code... but that doesn’t mean that this relationship will be a good one or butter like this will never happen again. The guy is obviously very immature with a lot of hang-ups...whether he likes her or not. If she fights for this broken guy he’ll probably just find a way to break her, too. OP has got to move cautiously.

Posted by lilyofthevalley

Posted by Phantom_Dangus

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by Phantom_Dangus

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by Phantom_Dangus

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by lilyofthevalley

Just gotta let him be for the time being. CANNOT push a Taurus towards any direction they’re not already headed. Although I disagree with the rest here... I once had a perfectly healthy ex-boyfriend with this problem... it took a few weeks of “activity” to solve it, then he was just fine. Turns out it wasn’t him not being attracted to me, it was his own sexual performance insecurities. He got over it, but it was after he was comfortable with me. So this guy may have a similar demon he’s battling now. His past toxic relationships might have done a number on his erection psychology. And now he’s avoiding you because he’s connecting being with you to more failure.

Let him process his thoughts and feelings. Unlike everyone else, I don’t think the guy is trying to hurt you or play around. Sex and performance are HUGE issues for men. Hard to even explain how important these issues are to women. So imagine instead that he’s trying to protect his already fragile sexual ego. And maybe he’ll have to do that for a while. You did good by being calm and friendly. You showed him you’re not a threat. But don’t chase the guy. Let him deal with his problems because he’s in it deep. I’m almost certain it has nothing at all to do with you. You’re not the only one who can feel insecure, remember this. I sense that he’s struggling a lot. Don’t think he rejected you. There’s no proof of this. If anything, he can’t face his feelings and his sexual problems right now. And this could be because he likes you enough to not want to make a fool of himself (remember that Taurus are also very sensitive about their sexual performance. They want to be the best you’ve had.)

By the way, I agree this guy is damaged goods. He’s not going to be there for you the way you want, even if he comes back. Just a heads up.

Thanks for your advice!

I agree that he is THAT insecure right now about it, because he used to always talk up his sex game lol. When we did last talk (the day after it happened) he told me he felt like a “little bitch” lol and I said “don’t be dramatic, no reason to feel that way😘” and he said “ Well now that I know you're cool with me being a little bitch ass I guess it's not that bad but still!😠” so clearly it was really bothering him, but I really did all I could by reassuring him and I was still being so flirty and into him - it’s him that was being distant. Anyways, I think I’m just going to leave him for now.... hopefully he gets out of this funk and reaches out!

So, you actually did talk to him the next day?

Yes!!! Just the next day though, I messaged him as I normally would asking how his day was and how he slept and we had a normal convo........ and then he brought it up and apologized. I said it was all good and reassured him that we were friends first and that he doesn’t need to feel embarrassed but he said he still felt like a bitch.. and then began taking hours to reply and acting so distant. I’m not a guy, I don’t know how hurt he could have been by it so I just took the hours between replies that he wanted some space for a bit.. so I didn’t msg him for 2 days and then when I did... he didn’t answer and here we are lol

How long has it been? Maybe you're considering yourself ghosted when he's just being slow.

I'm not concerned about his impotence, honestly. You have no clue if that is a regular thing or a fluke. It's the rest of the stuff he has said about relationships that makes me think he's not headed where you want to head.

It’s been about 5 days, but I know he is ignoring me. He wouldn’t ever go this long without reaching out if he was just busy or something. And everything he said about relationships, and anything else didn’t bother me. Ive known him from a distance for years and I’ve saw him in those other relationships, he is a good guy but his lows are VERY low so when the relationship ends he usually pretty messed up for a bit. I just got out of a serious long term relationship so I was okay just being single and being more of a casual friends thing... and every time he would bring up how he has ghosted girls in the past because of his need to be single, he was reassure me that he it isn’t the case with me............ but now I’m seeing it clearly is lol. He also said he wants to be single because he feels like he falls head first into relationships with the wrong people and end up getting himself hurt.

Isn't it a bitch when someone warns you about what they always do, but they tell you you're the exception, and then you see them do it to you too? *sigh* I'm sure he didn't think he was going to. So much for good intentions.

To be fair... he did quote “like” the girl he did this to before. But she just wasn’t able to figure out the code to open the safe of his huge insecurities once he had locked her out. Maybe OP can figure out the code... but that doesn’t mean that this relationship will be a good one or butter like this will never happen again. The guy is obviously very immature with a lot of hang-ups...whether he likes her or not. If she fights for this broken guy he’ll probably just find a way to break her, too. OP has got to move cautiously.

click to expand

So funny that you bring up “code to open the safe” because he literally said that. He said he guesses it wasn’t meant to be and that he’s happy I messaged him after the first time he ignored me. But trust me when I say this guy isn’t worth this massive chase! The only thing that’s sticking in my head right now which is bothering me the most, is that he might be insecure about what happened and beating himself up about it, and me being me, I can’t help but want to comfort him and make sure he knows it’s okay!! I am such a sucker for Taurus’ lol. He’s been alone for a long time and whether or not we end up together is not my concern, I just want him to be okay and be there more as a friend but I also don’t have the energy to continue to make myself feel stupid every time I msg him and he ignores me! It’s driving me nuts that I am taking his feelings into consideration as much as I am and knowing he isn’t taking mine into consideration at all considering he isn’t reaching out, and we used to talk all day everyday!

Posted by blvckphvse

" so we both agreed we didn’t want to date but wanted to keep hanging out and see where things go. "

Dating is so confusing these days.. The fuck is this shit? This just seems like a terrible way to go about things.

But I understand.. that is dating in this day and age unfortunately.. This just reestablishes that I'm gonna be single foreverr 😭

Lol you’re right, dating is so confusing. I just got out of a 4 year relationship so starting things up with someone this soon was already a little nerve wracking lol but, I knew I didn’t want to jump into a bf and gf relationship where we feel we need to do everything together and be exclusive!

Sara,

I want to ask what is about that guy that you need him, want him after all that ignoring of you by him?

Also I haven’t read it all...does anyone ever thinking of men not being able to perform? Just naturally! Not being able! Period.

Anxieties can cause ED or ED can cause anxieties.

That’s why I feel bad for men sometimes.

They are so difficultly built with that dick...

And if that’s the issue - nothing anybody can DO with it! Specially if said man is already sees himself impotent. He might get it back or he might not OR maybe he never had? They won’t tell you that though...It’s sad. I would be mortified...but I hope you are young enough to overcome and find another man. Start now. And good luck!

Posted by blvckphvse

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by blvckphvse

" so we both agreed we didn’t want to date but wanted to keep hanging out and see where things go. "

Dating is so confusing these days.. The fuck is this shit? This just seems like a terrible way to go about things.

But I understand.. that is dating in this day and age unfortunately.. This just reestablishes that I'm gonna be single foreverr 😭

Lol you’re right, dating is so confusing. I just got out of a 4 year relationship so starting things up with someone this soon was already a little nerve wracking lol but, I knew I didn’t want to jump into a bf and gf relationship where we feel we need to do everything together and be exclusive!

I feel you. I got out of a 5 year relationship in July. I haven't tried dating yet, it's too scary out there 😆

click to expand

Lol omg mine was in July too! I wouldn’t be able to either, but this was a guy I met before I got with my ex bf! We just happened to cross paths again! Ha. Good luck to you!

Posted by Gemitati

Sara,

I want to ask what is about that guy that you need him, want him after all that ignoring of you by him?

Also I haven’t read it all...does anyone ever thinking of men not being able to perform? Just naturally! Not being able! Period.

Anxieties can cause ED or ED can cause anxieties.

That’s why I feel bad for men sometimes.

They are so difficultly built with that dick...

And if that’s the issue - nothing anybody can DO with it! Specially if said man is already sees himself impotent. He might get it back or he might not OR maybe he never had? They won’t tell you that though...It’s sad. I would be mortified...but I hope you are young enough to overcome and find another man. Start now. And good luck!

It’s not that I need him or I want him... I am just struggling to come to terms with the idea that a man can spend so much time talking to you, spending time with you.... to just ignore you. I know he had feelings for me, his actions spoke loud and clear and because I’ve known him for many years I know he doesn’t jump from girl to girl... he’s been single for 2 years, so I am just confused on how he could just kick me out of his life without explanation or some sort of turbulence.

— like the posts above suggest, maybe he really is just insecure about that happening to him in front of me or maybe it made him realize he isn’t interested in me.... I am not sure.... but I am going to have to accept his actions as is and not attempt contact again. It’s too bad because I am certain he will not either.

Thanks for your response!

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by Gemitati

Sara,

I want to ask what is about that guy that you need him, want him after all that ignoring of you by him?

Also I haven’t read it all...does anyone ever thinking of men not being able to perform? Just naturally! Not being able! Period.

Anxieties can cause ED or ED can cause anxieties.

That’s why I feel bad for men sometimes.

They are so difficultly built with that dick...

And if that’s the issue - nothing anybody can DO with it! Specially if said man is already sees himself impotent. He might get it back or he might not OR maybe he never had? They won’t tell you that though...It’s sad. I would be mortified...but I hope you are young enough to overcome and find another man. Start now. And good luck!

It’s not that I need him or I want him... I am just struggling to come to terms with the idea that a man can spend so much time talking to you, spending time with you.... to just ignore you. I know he had feelings for me, his actions spoke loud and clear and because I’ve known him for many years I know he doesn’t jump from girl to girl... he’s been single for 2 years, so I am just confused on how he could just kick me out of his life without explanation or some sort of turbulence.

— like the posts above suggest, maybe he really is just insecure about that happening to him in front of me or maybe it made him realize he isn’t interested in me.... I am not sure.... but I am going to have to accept his actions as is and not attempt contact again. It’s too bad because I am certain he will not either.

Thanks for your response!

click to expand

OR maybe his dick just don’t work?

How do you expect man to tell you THAT even if you’ve known him since kindergarten and he isn’t Aries or a Scorpio? 😂😂😂😂😂

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by Gemitati

Sara,

I want to ask what is about that guy that you need him, want him after all that ignoring of you by him?

Also I haven’t read it all...does anyone ever thinking of men not being able to perform? Just naturally! Not being able! Period.

Anxieties can cause ED or ED can cause anxieties.

That’s why I feel bad for men sometimes.

They are so difficultly built with that dick...

And if that’s the issue - nothing anybody can DO with it! Specially if said man is already sees himself impotent. He might get it back or he might not OR maybe he never had? They won’t tell you that though...It’s sad. I would be mortified...but I hope you are young enough to overcome and find another man. Start now. And good luck!

It’s not that I need him or I want him... I am just struggling to come to terms with the idea that a man can spend so much time talking to you, spending time with you.... to just ignore you. I know he had feelings for me, his actions spoke loud and clear and because I’ve known him for many years I know he doesn’t jump from girl to girl... he’s been single for 2 years, so I am just confused on how he could just kick me out of his life without explanation or some sort of turbulence.

— like the posts above suggest, maybe he really is just insecure about that happening to him in front of me or maybe it made him realize he isn’t interested in me.... I am not sure.... but I am going to have to accept his actions as is and not attempt contact again. It’s too bad because I am certain he will not either.

Thanks for your response!

OR maybe his dick just don’t work?

How do you expect man to tell you THAT even if you’ve known him since kindergarten and he isn’t Aries or a Scorpio? 😂😂😂😂😂

click to expand

Lol well I never expected his dick not working.... it was working fine while we were making out lol. It was just when it actually came down to actually have sex... Which is why I’m thinking it’s some sort of anxiety or nervous issue. But no I wouldn’t expect him to tell me something like THAT. I don’t want us to talk abut it at all lmao I just want us to talk normally!!!! And he’s a Taurus lol

Ok. It was kind of a joke...I am tired and trying to entertain myself...

Seriously you’ve missed a whole point of what I was saying. You want him or need him or not doesn’t matter IF he can’t get it up!

If he can’t get it up you’ll be wondering about it to the rest of your life never knowing the truth!

I have NO other explanation of his behavior.

Ok maybe one other explanation...he is a moron who lacking all the rship skills who doesn’t know it.

Posted by Gemitati

Ok. It was kind of a joke...I am tired and trying to entertain myself...

Seriously you’ve missed a whole point of what I was saying. You want him or need him or not doesn’t matter IF he can’t get it up!

If he can’t get it up you’ll be wondering about it to the rest of your life never knowing the truth!

I have NO other explanation of his behavior.

Ok maybe one other explanation...he is a moron who lacking all the rship skills who doesn’t know it.

Lol!!! Ok so what are you suggesting I do?

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by Gemitati

Sara,

I want to ask what is about that guy that you need him, want him after all that ignoring of you by him?

Also I haven’t read it all...does anyone ever thinking of men not being able to perform? Just naturally! Not being able! Period.

Anxieties can cause ED or ED can cause anxieties.

That’s why I feel bad for men sometimes.

They are so difficultly built with that dick...

And if that’s the issue - nothing anybody can DO with it! Specially if said man is already sees himself impotent. He might get it back or he might not OR maybe he never had? They won’t tell you that though...It’s sad. I would be mortified...but I hope you are young enough to overcome and find another man. Start now. And good luck!

It’s not that I need him or I want him... I am just struggling to come to terms with the idea that a man can spend so much time talking to you, spending time with you.... to just ignore you. I know he had feelings for me, his actions spoke loud and clear and because I’ve known him for many years I know he doesn’t jump from girl to girl... he’s been single for 2 years, so I am just confused on how he could just kick me out of his life without explanation or some sort of turbulence.

— like the posts above suggest, maybe he really is just insecure about that happening to him in front of me or maybe it made him realize he isn’t interested in me.... I am not sure.... but I am going to have to accept his actions as is and not attempt contact again. It’s too bad because I am certain he will not either.

Thanks for your response!

OR maybe his dick just don’t work?

How do you expect man to tell you THAT even if you’ve known him since kindergarten and he isn’t Aries or a Scorpio? 😂😂😂😂😂

Lol well I never expected his dick not working.... it was working fine while we were making out lol. It was just when it actually came down to actually have sex... Which is why I’m thinking it’s some sort of anxiety or nervous issue. But no I wouldn’t expect him to tell me something like THAT. I don’t want us to talk abut it at all lmao I just want us to talk normally!!!! And he’s a Taurus lol

click to expand

Making out his dick was hard on? Was he naked?

Because if he was dressed you might imagine whatever...dicks aren’t always getting erected enough to penetrate. If it woke up a bit in his pants - never mind...unless you feeling it doing the job!

Stop fighting the fact! And please forget this nonsense ‘he wanted me so much so his dick was overwhelmed and just hanged there...’

😂😂😂😂😂😂❤️

Watch the last few seconds...

Trey was successful and proud man...ALL she wanted but he couldn’t get...IT...UP!!!

There!

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by Gemitati

Ok. It was kind of a joke...I am tired and trying to entertain myself...

Seriously you’ve missed a whole point of what I was saying. You want him or need him or not doesn’t matter IF he can’t get it up!

If he can’t get it up you’ll be wondering about it to the rest of your life never knowing the truth!

I have NO other explanation of his behavior.

Ok maybe one other explanation...he is a moron who lacking all the rship skills who doesn’t know it.

Lol!!! Ok so what are you suggesting I do?

click to expand

EVERYONE who is ANYONE already SUGGESTED what you should DO!

But have you read and processed? NO!

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by Gemitati

Ok. It was kind of a joke...I am tired and trying to entertain myself...

Seriously you’ve missed a whole point of what I was saying. You want him or need him or not doesn’t matter IF he can’t get it up!

If he can’t get it up you’ll be wondering about it to the rest of your life never knowing the truth!

I have NO other explanation of his behavior.

Ok maybe one other explanation...he is a moron who lacking all the rship skills who doesn’t know it.

Lol!!! Ok so what are you suggesting I do?

EVERYONE who is ANYONE already SUGGESTED what you should DO!

But have you read and processed? NO!

click to expand

LOL Of course I have!!!! That is exactly why I told you 4 messages up that I am not going to contact him. The only reason I asked you was because you were making no sense and I wanted to understand what you were trying to say lol....chill

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by Gemitati

Ok. It was kind of a joke...I am tired and trying to entertain myself...

Seriously you’ve missed a whole point of what I was saying. You want him or need him or not doesn’t matter IF he can’t get it up!

If he can’t get it up you’ll be wondering about it to the rest of your life never knowing the truth!

I have NO other explanation of his behavior.

Ok maybe one other explanation...he is a moron who lacking all the rship skills who doesn’t know it.

Lol!!! Ok so what are you suggesting I do?

EVERYONE who is ANYONE already SUGGESTED what you should DO!

But have you read and processed? NO!

LOL Of course I have!!!! That is exactly why I told you 4 messages up that I am not going to contact him. The only reason I asked you was because you were making no sense and I wanted to understand what you were trying to say lol....chill

click to expand

You are slow girl...🤦‍♀️😂

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by Gemitati

Sara,

I want to ask what is about that guy that you need him, want him after all that ignoring of you by him?

Also I haven’t read it all...does anyone ever thinking of men not being able to perform? Just naturally! Not being able! Period.

Anxieties can cause ED or ED can cause anxieties.

That’s why I feel bad for men sometimes.

They are so difficultly built with that dick...

And if that’s the issue - nothing anybody can DO with it! Specially if said man is already sees himself impotent. He might get it back or he might not OR maybe he never had? They won’t tell you that though...It’s sad. I would be mortified...but I hope you are young enough to overcome and find another man. Start now. And good luck!

It’s not that I need him or I want him... I am just struggling to come to terms with the idea that a man can spend so much time talking to you, spending time with you.... to just ignore you. I know he had feelings for me, his actions spoke loud and clear and because I’ve known him for many years I know he doesn’t jump from girl to girl... he’s been single for 2 years, so I am just confused on how he could just kick me out of his life without explanation or some sort of turbulence.

— like the posts above suggest, maybe he really is just insecure about that happening to him in front of me or maybe it made him realize he isn’t interested in me.... I am not sure.... but I am going to have to accept his actions as is and not attempt contact again. It’s too bad because I am certain he will not either.

Thanks for your response!

OR maybe his dick just don’t work?

How do you expect man to tell you THAT even if you’ve known him since kindergarten and he isn’t Aries or a Scorpio? 😂😂😂😂😂

Lol well I never expected his dick not working.... it was working fine while we were making out lol. It was just when it actually came down to actually have sex... Which is why I’m thinking it’s some sort of anxiety or nervous issue. But no I wouldn’t expect him to tell me something like THAT. I don’t want us to talk abut it at all lmao I just want us to talk normally!!!! And he’s a Taurus lol

click to expand

Maybe he just blew his load in his pants while you were kissing and that was it 🙈😂

I had a Taurus girl a few years back who did a similar thing, it was like she went from being interested to taking ages to reply and then only short messages when she did. I found a profile online where she called herself a sociopath, but she sort of went cold after she’d told me she was leaving town for work. So I think probably it’s 99% nothing to do with you, it could be for any number or reasons which clearly he hasn’t told you. I think maybe you are taking it too personally. I know it’s not nice, I know it kinda feels like a friend has just punched you in the face for no reason. But unfortunately these things happen, you can’t explain everyone’s behaviour.

You wouldn’t chase a man who broke up with you, I know this isn’t the same but it’s similar. Maybe he doesn’t have the balls to break up with you directly, maybe it’s his penis and his balls that don’t work?

Posted by blvckphvse

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by blvckphvse

Posted by Sarayoung7777

Posted by blvckphvse

" so we both agreed we didn’t want to date but wanted to keep hanging out and see where things go. "

Dating is so confusing these days.. The fuck is this shit? This just seems like a terrible way to go about things.

But I understand.. that is dating in this day and age unfortunately.. This just reestablishes that I'm gonna be single foreverr 😭

Lol you’re right, dating is so confusing. I just got out of a 4 year relationship so starting things up with someone this soon was already a little nerve wracking lol but, I knew I didn’t want to jump into a bf and gf relationship where we feel we need to do everything together and be exclusive!

I feel you. I got out of a 5 year relationship in July. I haven't tried dating yet, it's too scary out there 😆

Lol omg mine was in July too! I wouldn’t be able to either, but this was a guy I met before I got with my ex bf! We just happened to cross paths again! Ha. Good luck to you!

Too funny it was July for both of us! I had also started talking with a dude I knew before my ex, but he was acting like a fuckboy.. made it real easy for me to pass. Hahaha

Wishing you all the best too girl. I know it's not easy out there!

click to expand

Hahaha and after how this went down, I am sure I’ll be doing the same hahah. But thanks girl right back atchu

1. Silence IS a response.

2. Reread the 1st line of your own post. He's had a history of toxic relationships which means he himself has a history of having toxic patterns. I'm sure poor communication is 1 of them. I get that you have a soft spot for him, but don't be the person who know someones is broken, but then look surprised when they start doing what people used to dysfunction/toxic relationships do. It's common for people like that to have poor communication skills & to not have the skills period to navigate through friendships/relationships with healthy coping mechanisms. That's what comes with the territory of having a toxic past. Stop over-analyzing. Even if you get all the answers & figure out his psychology, THEN WHAT? That still won't erase the years of baggage & bad coping mechanisms he hasn't yet healed. If you're gonna be friends or romantically involved with someone with a lot of baggage, either expect & accept their poor communication skills & coping mechanisms OR do you both the favor of walking away early on. Either way, have some dignity within yourself tho. Don't start your own pattern of chasing what doesn't want to be caught or dedicating your energy, time & heart to men who are so self-loathing that they can't even text you back. His psychology is not your job to figure out; even if it was, HE is the only person that can change or fix what's wrong within himself. This is a perfect example of WHY it's important to steer clear from people whose emotional & verbal language & frequency is primarily dysfunction. If you choose to step into the arena with them, that means dealing with ALL that comes with the territory of heavy-baggaged individuals. Some people have the patience & time for it. I don't. And I suggest you don't either. We all know how these stories end: Girl usually chases the guy, tries to love him out of his demons, tries to fix him all to no avail, only for the girl to come out of it bruised, resentful & broken herself when she finally realizes she never had the power to change him. Leave that heavy duty work to the professionals. Good luck!