When they still use their dating app?

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cancer_wyrm
@cancer_wyrm
9 Years

Comments: 4 · Posts: 89 · Topics: 20
How would you guys feel if your gf/bf/SO still used their dating profile? You know that you can see their online status and if it was a recent log in, how would you guys feel? I've been dating my bf for over a year and I sometimes get on my dating app to check to see if he is still active and sure enough he is. I don't want to ask him about it because he has already told me his reasons like looking on other people's profiles while on the toilet. He says he hasn't messaged anyone but just gets up there to read. I'm not the person to randomly grab his phone and scroll through his stuff because I know he isn't doing anything wrong but it still bothers me when I see him still on the dating app we both used to find each other. He said he uses it to find friends but for the most part the people on those sites just want a relationship of some type. He said he's fine with me though and happy to be with me.

Anyway, what would you guys think about it? In my case and personal opinions.
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cancer_wyrm
@cancer_wyrm
9 Years

Comments: 4 · Posts: 89 · Topics: 20
Okay dating was a bad term to describe us. We are in a committed relationship is what I should have said. The last thing he told me about getting on the app is he likes to reread our old messages which I guess I can understand a little but its not enough to constantly log on.

I don't get up there to look at people, I have deleted the app multiple times because I had no use for it but I redownload it to see what he's up to. He's had the app on his phone ever since we started dating and through the whole year of us being together.

I get messages too but I don't respond to them, I want to ask him about his messages but I don't want it to look like I don't trust him (but clearly I don't since I'm asking about it plus some other trust issues).

I want to believe him, I'm not sure if its me being like this or just him giving me weird vibes that I can't trust.
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cancer_wyrm
@cancer_wyrm
9 Years

Comments: 4 · Posts: 89 · Topics: 20
Posted by Shadowcat
Posted by cancer_wyrm
The app was okcupid, he deleted his tinder. I don't ever go on tinder either but I know what its whole reason is.
Okcupid is a dating app? I just use it for the quizzes @.@ lol some of them make more sense now though
click to expand

Lol I enjoyed the questions when I first started, I wasn't looking for a relationship when I first started but it just escalated to having a SO for over a year 😆
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AgentP911
@AgentP911
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 3847 · Topics: 1
I met my boyfriend on plenty of fish. We messaged during Dec 2015 and met in Jan 2016. We dated for about two months/six dates then he asked me to be exclusive. We were both looking for a relationship and this had been discussed during our dating phase.

I also dated a few others during my dating phase and kept my app and profile on. Mainly to keep my options open and to not overly focus on one man. I wanted to take time to go through the dating process. He took his profile off during message stage and before he met me but that was his choice. He knew he was keen on me!

I had to prompt him about exclusivity as he didn't know that's what I was waiting for! Bless him!

We are now over a year together and in a committed relationship. He will be moving in with me in a few months and he's already bringing up marriage. We had discussed marriage and that we were both open to it during our dating process to see if we were on the same page. I'm late 30's, he's mid 40's.

At no point did he go back on the dating app, toilet or no toilet, to find friends or Santa Claus.

You know something is wrong and it's staring you in the face. Don't excuse his behaviour. Your situation after one year should look similar to mine. It doesn't. At all. This man is either not mature and/or not committed enough. It happens.

Ultimately, your reluctance to address something that you're not happy with and to accept his behaviour is concerning.
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cancer_wyrm
@cancer_wyrm
9 Years

Comments: 4 · Posts: 89 · Topics: 20
I'm starting to think its more like a validation deal. He is not a fit man, he has a belly and he constantly calls himself fat. He said he use to have abs and muscles but after a weight lifting accident he hasn't been working out and the food he eats has gotten to him. I tell him that I like his belly and don't mind that he is a little chunky because chunky men are soft and still cute but I think he's still online because he wants validation from strangers to know he is still datable. Which is dumb... because I'm here to tell him that... unless I haven't been good at it and not shown him enough body love.

He tells me I'm beautiful and have a good body but I don't believe it most of the time due to low self-esteem. I love that he tells me it though I just have a hard time believing it. But I am not going online looking for validation from others, I'm up there to see if he is still online because I constantly delete my app then get it back a month or so later just to see his profile.

I want to talk to him because now I think all this online business is just for validation because he tells me he doesn't respond back to messages, I haven't checked his phone so I wouldn't know but I want to just to see. But other than that I think its more of a self image thing that I need to help him work on, he shouldn't need validation from other women on a dating site... he should only need me but if I've not done that enough then I need to step up my game.