whatisthisallabout
@whatisthisallabout
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Comments: 41 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 41
Would you date someone you just don't see yourself getting married to? (Page 2)
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Posted by TeenaThat's ture. people like to rain on others' parade on dxp 😄Posted by whatisthisallaboutHaha. That is true yeah..also Dxp is not a safe place to share happy stories. I know I'll be better off without it 😄Posted by Teenayou mean no news is good news 😄Posted by whatisthisallaboutTrust me... I'm looking forward to that too. I wanna write my story here as well..and later probably disappear ❤️?Posted by TeenaGood for you 🙂Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by TeenaSmart girl!
No... Wouldn't! I think that's the reason I never dated
I guess the only downside is that if this person is your one and only for everything, it'd be very very very hard to get over it if one day the person was gone (e.g. breakup/divorce or death due to terminal disease, accident, advanced age, etc.).
Yeah. That's right.I get that.Maybe I'll be devastated. But again I also understand no one is here to stay. When n if I lose the person(god forbid), I'd be sad coz I lost him.I wouldn't mull over not having dated other men.. it wouldn't even be the last thing I'd think about honestly. I don't know the consequences of my choices.. But I'm completely aware I'm making them. I kinda plan on doing certain things if at all that happens...and it sure doesn't involve seeing other men lol. I'll survive 🙂
I hope you will post your stories on dxp when you meet that lucky fella.
I am sure it is going to be a very inspiring love story 🙂
probably you are just gonna be so in love that you spend all your time together and don't have time to go on dxp anymore lolclick to expand
Posted by whatisthisallaboutAll of the woman's emo these day so predictable. She sounds like a good woman he just wanted to screw she need to pick better not just allow a man to waste her time.Posted by jane84I actually also still want that someone I could be with for the rest of my life. I thought I met that person but it didn't work out. I am still recovering from that and now I am confused. I begin to question whether I should want someone like that or I should just focus on the moment and be happy with whatever comes my way. My Gem friend told me he doesn't think much about future when he dates, he just wants to enjoy all the feelings and emotions that come with dating each girl he met. He's been seeing one girl who is super diffiult due to her diagnosed bipolar for a whole year now. He told me it's tough and he's not sure if they'd end up together but he loves her so he just wants to enjoy every moment with her fully even though it's a lot of painPosted by whatisthisallaboutWell I wanted to have kids...but I didn't NEED to have kids. I wanted someone who I could be with for the rest of my life, but I didn't NEED it. So I was picky, because I wasn't willing to waste serious time with someone who I never saw a future with. However, I did at one point still want this stuff... so I wouldn't want to be with someone who never wanted it.Posted by jane84I like that. I like people who are up front and don't waste each other's time.
When I was single and going on dates, if I didn't feel like we were compatible or just so different that it would never work. I told them so and stopped dating them after a couple of dates...nothing more. I didn't want to waste their time or lead them on.
I got super picky after my marriage ended years ago... I didn't want something long term unless it meant something. Besides marriage is a scary thing after you divorce once... it was going to take something special or meaningful to get me to think about it again.
It's never fun when you are the one being led on. I wonder how it'd feel like if I dated a guy for a long time but only to find out that he never saw a future with me... Also, sometimes I wonder what's the real difference between people being picky and people never wanting to get married. I feel if people are just being picky, they are able to commit if they meet the right one, but people never wanting to get married probably will always chooes to be single when the other person wants to get married... not sure if I get it right though.
A friend of mine dated a guy who never wants to get married for 3 years. I could see that they were super in love but in the end, when she pressed for marriage (she was 32 at the time), he chose to end it and moved out of her place... it was very very sad to watch....
Sad for your friend. If only they could have communicated more to see where the other person was. Maybe he was honest and she didn't want to accept it or maybe she didn't want to push it sooner to seem desperate or whatever. Sometimes even when things look good, they aren't because there are some really BIG differences between the two partners that will eventually break them up. Whether you want to get married or not is one of those things. Communication is so important.
You are spot on regarding my friend's situation. She is a very attractive and confident sag woman. She has high education, makes good money, very athletic, fun and sexy, etc. I think she was too confident that once he's dated her for long enough he'd change. She did try to make him change by first asking him to move in, then adopting a dog together, etc. to help him "get used to" a semi married life... but too bad it just didn't work out.click to expand
Piscesmoon
Posted by piscesmoon2She is very controlling for sure...
Normally mothers want or think there daughters are entitled to better. It is not about better but what is good for you. A guy can have everything and not be a good man... or treat his woman like crap. Yet woman want him because he has money or some type of thing they value. Your mom need to grow up. She sounds very immature trying to micro manage your life.
Piscesmoon
Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxXHow long have you realized that you don't want to get married?
Yes because I don't plan on getting married regardless of how great he is.
I keep going back and forth on this 😕
Posted by piscesmoon2I guess he envisions that if he makes enough money he can support multiple families and he is confident that he will be "fair" to each of his families so to speak... I don't necessarily like the way he thinks but I give credits to him for his honesty. I can see that many men who work really hard because they believe that once they are rich, they can have as many hot women as they want... I think this type of thought is especially prevelant among guys who are less physically attactive and have had a hard time getting girls' attention growing up...Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by piscesmoon2I think my sister's husband is the kind of guy who is very ambitous and goal-directed and believes that if he ever builds a kingdom in his career, he deserves to have the most beautiful women by his side... I think he does love my sister just as much as she loves him, but he has this kind of mentality of having more than one woman to match up his financial success... you know back in the days, rich men always have multiple women. I think that's what he sees himself.Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by imbatgirl14I can see that. I can see that boys who are married to good girls may find some badass women at work inresistable if they have never experienced this kind of women. Actually, that's my sister's ultimate fear. My sister has had a few bfs but she has only been intimate with one man, that is her husband. She's always worried that her husband might get bored one day and fall in love with someone who's her complete opposite. I mean, she is confident that he wouldn't leave her for another girl like her, but she's worried when there's someone just so different who just shows up in his life and relights his fire that sort of things.Posted by whatisthisallaboutI heard a man once say, you need to get it out of your system before you marry, so you won't end up doing it while you're married.Posted by ScorpGDo you have a particular reason other than not wanting to waste time?
Very nice threat! I wouldn't...
I think some of my guy friends they want to date a "red rose" (someone wild and crazy) but marry a "white rose" (someone who's gonna be a good mom for their children).
It depends on the quality of guy... if it is it love then many men cheat or leave a woman as they start to get older. However many woman just want a safe guy to pay for the expenses of raising kids or when they are younger a sugar daddy.
So these days men don't feel that special as woman just often looking for the guy to pay there bills ounces they had the fun with impractical bad boys or guys that spend all there time focusing on the gym or social networking rather then saving money or building a career.
Piscesmoon
Sounds like a dirt bag to me... it is not that we are not all made special but when we think we are to special for everyone else. So he is building his career to make money for him more the provide for a family. Again men these days say why settle down woman just want to be taken care off...
For me personally I have a hard time now these days as I could date or do things but everyone seems so fake. Always motivated by anything but love.
Piscesmoon
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Posted by whatisthisallaboutI would say the only exception is she pays your bills... and you made bad choices that she had to pay for... in your adult years. Then if you keep doing them that would not be such a good thing.Posted by piscesmoon2She is very controlling for sure...
Normally mothers want or think there daughters are entitled to better. It is not about better but what is good for you. A guy can have everything and not be a good man... or treat his woman like crap. Yet woman want him because he has money or some type of thing they value. Your mom need to grow up. She sounds very immature trying to micro manage your life.
Piscesmoonclick to expand
Piscesmoon
Posted by piscesmoon2😆Posted by whatisthisallaboutThe show that is all about competition and relationships that never work out. LolPosted by Capri-sunNot surprising coming from a Cap!
No
I lived with a Cap lady for 3 years and she's super picky.
I was amazed at how easy it was for her to let someone go whenever she decided she didn't see a potential. I think she'd make a good Bachelorette for the show 😉
We wonder why people have relationship issues so much theses days.
Piscesmoon
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Posted by whatisthisallaboutHaha! Totally!Posted by TeenaThat's ture. people like to rain on others' parade on dxp 😄Posted by whatisthisallaboutHaha. That is true yeah..also Dxp is not a safe place to share happy stories. I know I'll be better off without it 😄Posted by Teenayou mean no news is good news 😄Posted by whatisthisallaboutTrust me... I'm looking forward to that too. I wanna write my story here as well..and later probably disappear ❤️?Posted by TeenaGood for you 🙂Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by TeenaSmart girl!
No... Wouldn't! I think that's the reason I never dated
I guess the only downside is that if this person is your one and only for everything, it'd be very very very hard to get over it if one day the person was gone (e.g. breakup/divorce or death due to terminal disease, accident, advanced age, etc.).
Yeah. That's right.I get that.Maybe I'll be devastated. But again I also understand no one is here to stay. When n if I lose the person(god forbid), I'd be sad coz I lost him.I wouldn't mull over not having dated other men.. it wouldn't even be the last thing I'd think about honestly. I don't know the consequences of my choices.. But I'm completely aware I'm making them. I kinda plan on doing certain things if at all that happens...and it sure doesn't involve seeing other men lol. I'll survive 🙂
I hope you will post your stories on dxp when you meet that lucky fella.
I am sure it is going to be a very inspiring love story 🙂
probably you are just gonna be so in love that you spend all your time together and don't have time to go on dxp anymore lolclick to expand
Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxXNo I get what you are saying and think marriage more the way you are describing it and less like a contract. I don'tPosted by piscesmoon2Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxXThen you will grow old alone... it is not a bad thing. Also raising kids... I personally would not want to have kids with a woman that does not want to get married. They just are like well I wanted some of your pay check.
Yes because I don't plan on getting married regardless of how great he is.
Piscesmoon
How will I grow old alone if we're still together?
You're going off of the ignorant assumption that getting married means two people will stay together forever. That's simply not true.
50% of marriages these days end in divorce. Meanwhile there are people like my cousin who has been with her boyfriend/common law husband for over twenty years and their bond is even stronger now than it ever was before.
I don't fault or shame anyone who believes in marriage. I think between the right people marriage is a beautiful thing, but overall I see no real point in it.
If two people want to remain together forever, they will. Regardless of what any legal documents have to say.
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Know if I will be legally married unless I feel that comfratable. Men universal get the short end of the stick legally.
Piscesmoon
Posted by ScorpGYour observation is interesting. I feel the same when it comes to men. I feel they lean on me for emotional support but when I need their help, they feel I am too high pressure/too much to take care of... =.=Posted by whatisthisallaboutI got similar expectations from women, and they all allow me resolve my problems too. Maybe it's a matter of modernity, I don't know...Posted by ScorpGYes, the secret hope is always there lolPosted by whatisthisallaboutI agree with that, but isn't there always a secret hope that there will be future?Posted by ScorpGThat's true. I always think that if there's no future, then I should end things or not start anything at all.Posted by whatisthisallaboutIf there is not a purpose why date?Posted by ScorpGDo you have a particular reason other than not wanting to waste time?
Very nice threat! I wouldn't...
I think some of my guy friends they want to date a "red rose" (someone wild and crazy) but marry a "white rose" (someone who's gonna be a good mom for their children).
Plus, how will you express feelings for a person you see no future with and why not have future with a person you feel about?
However, sometimes in reality it is hard because there are many times in my life, I find myself strangely attracted to people I just know I won't get along with or they won't be able to make me happy in the long run. It just takes a lot of self control to not act on it when the attraction is strong...
But I realized that people don't change and won't change... I am the kind of person who wants my other half to be my best friend and main emotional support, but it is hard because most guys I have met just do not or cannot fulfill that role. They told me it's hard to just listen to my problems and allow me to resolve them my way.... I can see that they are better off with girls who turn to their friends for emotional support.
If there is no emotional support, there is no reason for a relationship.
One more observation: Many women say that they don't want other's help. But when you provide it, they grab it and when you ask for their help, they will maybe feel pushed.click to expand
It sucks when I am there for them when they need someone to talk to, but they only want to talk when they are in the mood to help... It happened with my gemini ex. I felt I was always there when he wanted to talk but when I needed his support, he was not able to support me emotionally. he was able to be physically present but he was not able to support me emotionally... it was a very strange experience.
Posted by imbatgirl14Nice! I think I may become you in a few years.Posted by whatisthisallaboutNo. I dedicate myself to my work. My work and my hobbies are my life. Sex life is non existent unless you include artificial, then yes. I do that on occasion.Posted by imbatgirl14So...do you see anyone at all or you just focus on yourself?
I don't have time for dating.
I have friends who don't have time to date but they do have fwb on the side that they see once in a while...click to expand
I think I will be happier once I have made that decision to dedicate myself to my career and hobbies. I always feel I have contorl over only things I do. Whenever there's another person invovled, there's uncertainty and the uncertainy stresses me out.
Posted by imbatgirl14I hope it will never happen. I know my sister will be crushed, completely crushed.Posted by whatisthisallaboutTemptation is always around the corner. It takes a remarkable and strong man to overcome temptation. If he does succumb to it, then that only means he didn't deserve her.Posted by imbatgirl14I can see that. I can see that boys who are married to good girls may find some badass women at work inresistable if they have never experienced this kind of women. Actually, that's my sister's ultimate fear. My sister has had a few bfs but she has only been intimate with one man, that is her husband. She's always worried that her husband might get bored one day and fall in love with someone who's her complete opposite. I mean, she is confident that he wouldn't leave her for another girl like her, but she's worried when there's someone just so different who just shows up in his life and relights his fire that sort of things.Posted by whatisthisallaboutI heard a man once say, you need to get it out of your system before you marry, so you won't end up doing it while you're married.Posted by ScorpGDo you have a particular reason other than not wanting to waste time?
Very nice threat! I wouldn't...
I think some of my guy friends they want to date a "red rose" (someone wild and crazy) but marry a "white rose" (someone who's gonna be a good mom for their children).
click to expand
Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by piscesmoon2I guess he envisions that if he makes enough money he can support multiple families and he is confident that he will be "fair" to each of his families so to speak... I don't necessarily like the way he thinks but I give credits to him for his honesty. I can see that many men who work really hard because they believe that once they are rich, they can have as many hot women as they want... I think this type of thought is especially prevelant among guys who are less physically attactive and have had a hard time getting girls' attention growing up...Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by piscesmoon2I think my sister's husband is the kind of guy who is very ambitous and goal-directed and believes that if he ever builds a kingdom in his career, he deserves to have the most beautiful women by his side... I think he does love my sister just as much as she loves him, but he has this kind of mentality of having more than one woman to match up his financial success... you know back in the days, rich men always have multiple women. I think that's what he sees himself.Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by imbatgirl14I can see that. I can see that boys who are married to good girls may find some badass women at work inresistable if they have never experienced this kind of women. Actually, that's my sister's ultimate fear. My sister has had a few bfs but she has only been intimate with one man, that is her husband. She's always worried that her husband might get bored one day and fall in love with someone who's her complete opposite. I mean, she is confident that he wouldn't leave her for another girl like her, but she's worried when there's someone just so different who just shows up in his life and relights his fire that sort of things.Posted by whatisthisallaboutI heard a man once say, you need to get it out of your system before you marry, so you won't end up doing it while you're married.Posted by ScorpGDo you have a particular reason other than not wanting to waste time?
Very nice threat! I wouldn't...
I think some of my guy friends they want to date a "red rose" (someone wild and crazy) but marry a "white rose" (someone who's gonna be a good mom for their children).
It depends on the quality of guy... if it is it love then many men cheat or leave a woman as they start to get older. However many woman just want a safe guy to pay for the expenses of raising kids or when they are younger a sugar daddy.
So these days men don't feel that special as woman just often looking for the guy to pay there bills ounces they had the fun with impractical bad boys or guys that spend all there time focusing on the gym or social networking rather then saving money or building a career.
Piscesmoon
Sounds like a dirt bag to me... it is not that we are not all made special but when we think we are to special for everyone else. So he is building his career to make money for him more the provide for a family. Again men these days say why settle down woman just want to be taken care off...
For me personally I have a hard time now these days as I could date or do things but everyone seems so fake. Always motivated by anything but love.
Piscesmoon
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Just because a woman is good looking does not mean I would personally want to be with them... beside they are kinda being owned or bought at this point.
Piscesmoon
Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by imbatgirl14I hope it will never happen. I know my sister will be crushed, completely crushed.Posted by whatisthisallaboutTemptation is always around the corner. It takes a remarkable and strong man to overcome temptation. If he does succumb to it, then that only means he didn't deserve her.Posted by imbatgirl14I can see that. I can see that boys who are married to good girls may find some badass women at work inresistable if they have never experienced this kind of women. Actually, that's my sister's ultimate fear. My sister has had a few bfs but she has only been intimate with one man, that is her husband. She's always worried that her husband might get bored one day and fall in love with someone who's her complete opposite. I mean, she is confident that he wouldn't leave her for another girl like her, but she's worried when there's someone just so different who just shows up in his life and relights his fire that sort of things.Posted by whatisthisallaboutI heard a man once say, you need to get it out of your system before you marry, so you won't end up doing it while you're married.Posted by ScorpGDo you have a particular reason other than not wanting to waste time?
Very nice threat! I wouldn't...
I think some of my guy friends they want to date a "red rose" (someone wild and crazy) but marry a "white rose" (someone who's gonna be a good mom for their children).
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Most like will sorry to say with the attitude he has... it is simply how long before the opportunity comes up... she should have know better by the way he talks like that. She bring it on herself and rewarding guys like that to reenforcement them to think it is not only ok but that that it is socially excepted.
Piscesmoon
Posted by piscesmoon2She is married now to a guy who's the completely opposite from that guy.Posted by whatisthisallaboutAll of the woman's emo these day so predictable. She sounds like a good woman he just wanted to screw she need to pick better not just allow a man to waste her time.Posted by jane84I actually also still want that someone I could be with for the rest of my life. I thought I met that person but it didn't work out. I am still recovering from that and now I am confused. I begin to question whether I should want someone like that or I should just focus on the moment and be happy with whatever comes my way. My Gem friend told me he doesn't think much about future when he dates, he just wants to enjoy all the feelings and emotions that come with dating each girl he met. He's been seeing one girl who is super diffiult due to her diagnosed bipolar for a whole year now. He told me it's tough and he's not sure if they'd end up together but he loves her so he just wants to enjoy every moment with her fully even though it's a lot of painPosted by whatisthisallaboutWell I wanted to have kids...but I didn't NEED to have kids. I wanted someone who I could be with for the rest of my life, but I didn't NEED it. So I was picky, because I wasn't willing to waste serious time with someone who I never saw a future with. However, I did at one point still want this stuff... so I wouldn't want to be with someone who never wanted it.Posted by jane84I like that. I like people who are up front and don't waste each other's time.
When I was single and going on dates, if I didn't feel like we were compatible or just so different that it would never work. I told them so and stopped dating them after a couple of dates...nothing more. I didn't want to waste their time or lead them on.
I got super picky after my marriage ended years ago... I didn't want something long term unless it meant something. Besides marriage is a scary thing after you divorce once... it was going to take something special or meaningful to get me to think about it again.
It's never fun when you are the one being led on. I wonder how it'd feel like if I dated a guy for a long time but only to find out that he never saw a future with me... Also, sometimes I wonder what's the real difference between people being picky and people never wanting to get married. I feel if people are just being picky, they are able to commit if they meet the right one, but people never wanting to get married probably will always chooes to be single when the other person wants to get married... not sure if I get it right though.
A friend of mine dated a guy who never wants to get married for 3 years. I could see that they were super in love but in the end, when she pressed for marriage (she was 32 at the time), he chose to end it and moved out of her place... it was very very sad to watch....
Sad for your friend. If only they could have communicated more to see where the other person was. Maybe he was honest and she didn't want to accept it or maybe she didn't want to push it sooner to seem desperate or whatever. Sometimes even when things look good, they aren't because there are some really BIG differences between the two partners that will eventually break them up. Whether you want to get married or not is one of those things. Communication is so important.
You are spot on regarding my friend's situation. She is a very attractive and confident sag woman. She has high education, makes good money, very athletic, fun and sexy, etc. I think she was too confident that once he's dated her for long enough he'd change. She did try to make him change by first asking him to move in, then adopting a dog together, etc. to help him "get used to" a semi married life... but too bad it just didn't work out.
Piscesmoon
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The guy she wanted to pin down was very fun and adventurous and in amazing shape, but now she's married to a home buddy--an average looking average buid nice guy.
I think the most attractive women go through the most heartaches until they realize that no matter how attrative they are, there are someone out there who will not change for them or will not make themselves emtionally available for them.
Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxXThank you!Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by xXxQueenliciaXxXHow long have you realized that you don't want to get married?
Yes because I don't plan on getting married regardless of how great he is.
I keep going back and forth on this 😕
After I was engaged for some time I realized marriage is just not for me.
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I was proposed twice in my life. The first one I bailed on him shortly after. The 2nd one I didn't even accept the ring and he was really really upset...
Till this date, I am still not sure if they were just not the right guys or I am just not cut out for marriage.
Posted by whatisthisallaboutIf I were still practicing monogamy - probably not. Thankfully, I've had my first marriage early in life, which in turn brought in realization that meaningful unions needn't be bound on paper/in church for anything, including childrearing, except maybe taxes and property ownership.
I mean, there are some people who you love/can love, and you see them as bf/gf material, but on the back of your mind, you know he/she is NOT the one (e.g. you see yourself dating this person for longterm, or even living togther, but your gut tells you that you don't want to/will not marry this person.), what would you do?
Would you still date the person or you would just keep looking because you don't want to waste his/her time (especially neither of you have been married)? Thoughts?
Also knowing that you cannot put all eggs in the same basket (rephrased as "no person in the world can ever fullfill your every need") helps.
Posted by piscesmoon2Once in a while she does help me with some payments such as medical payments or dental payments, but she's not supporting me financially on a regular basis. And I knew that it's her way to control people. I think she helped pay the downpayment of my sister and her husband's home so she's always using it against them whenever there's a fight. for example, my sister's husband bought his dad a car for his birthday and my mom humuliated him in front of the whole family (including the guy's dad) and said, "if you have money to buy your dad a car, you should have the money to pay me back for the down payment"... anyways, I still think that's unnecessary for her to act like that. She could've talked to him privately if she felt really storngly about it. But I think her plan is just to have something she can use against him whenever she wants to.Posted by whatisthisallaboutI would say the only exception is she pays your bills... and you made bad choices that she had to pay for... in your adult years. Then if you keep doing them that would not be such a good thing.Posted by piscesmoon2She is very controlling for sure...
Normally mothers want or think there daughters are entitled to better. It is not about better but what is good for you. A guy can have everything and not be a good man... or treat his woman like crap. Yet woman want him because he has money or some type of thing they value. Your mom need to grow up. She sounds very immature trying to micro manage your life.
Piscesmoon
Piscesmoon
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Posted by whatisthisallaboutSome form of fun should be a mandatory part of any personal relationship in my opinion. LolPosted by AliensusedourbogrollHave you ever just dated for fun, or never?
If I was the type to date for fun, then yeah sure.click to expand
Posted by LadyPootsAlotTaiwan. I guess it is more prevalent in Asian countries?Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by piscesmoon2I guess he envisions that if he makes enough money he can support multiple families and he is confident that he will be "fair" to each of his families so to speak... I don't necessarily like the way he thinks but I give credits to him for his honesty. I can see that many men who work really hard because they believe that once they are rich, they can have as many hot women as they want... I think this type of thought is especially prevelant among guys who are less physically attactive and have had a hard time getting girls' attention growing up...Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by piscesmoon2I think my sister's husband is the kind of guy who is very ambitous and goal-directed and believes that if he ever builds a kingdom in his career, he deserves to have the most beautiful women by his side... I think he does love my sister just as much as she loves him, but he has this kind of mentality of having more than one woman to match up his financial success... you know back in the days, rich men always have multiple women. I think that's what he sees himself.Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by imbatgirl14I can see that. I can see that boys who are married to good girls may find some badass women at work inresistable if they have never experienced this kind of women. Actually, that's my sister's ultimate fear. My sister has had a few bfs but she has only been intimate with one man, that is her husband. She's always worried that her husband might get bored one day and fall in love with someone who's her complete opposite. I mean, she is confident that he wouldn't leave her for another girl like her, but she's worried when there's someone just so different who just shows up in his life and relights his fire that sort of things.Posted by whatisthisallaboutI heard a man once say, you need to get it out of your system before you marry, so you won't end up doing it while you're married.Posted by ScorpGDo you have a particular reason other than not wanting to waste time?
Very nice threat! I wouldn't...
I think some of my guy friends they want to date a "red rose" (someone wild and crazy) but marry a "white rose" (someone who's gonna be a good mom for their children).
It depends on the quality of guy... if it is it love then many men cheat or leave a woman as they start to get older. However many woman just want a safe guy to pay for the expenses of raising kids or when they are younger a sugar daddy.
So these days men don't feel that special as woman just often looking for the guy to pay there bills ounces they had the fun with impractical bad boys or guys that spend all there time focusing on the gym or social networking rather then saving money or building a career.
Piscesmoon
Sounds like a dirt bag to me... it is not that we are not all made special but when we think we are to special for everyone else. So he is building his career to make money for him more the provide for a family. Again men these days say why settle down woman just want to be taken care off...
For me personally I have a hard time now these days as I could date or do things but everyone seems so fake. Always motivated by anything but love.
Piscesmoon
What country are they in? I don't think this kind of thinking is prevalent among men anywhere that I've been...except maybe a backwoods part of Utah.
Does he want to have a bunch of families that are secret from one another or a harem where they all know they're not special? I want to punch him.click to expand
Posted by Gob_ShiteYou don't believe in marriage?
It's a pretty silly question, if you don't believe in marriage...
I haven't given up on the thought of getting married one day with the right person completely yet LOL
Posted by piscesmoon2I think the predominant culture taught women that as long as they are hot they can get anything they want... even though it is not the complete truth... Just look at all the looksmaxing threads on dxp and all DJ's threads 😆Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by piscesmoon2I guess he envisions that if he makes enough money he can support multiple families and he is confident that he will be "fair" to each of his families so to speak... I don't necessarily like the way he thinks but I give credits to him for his honesty. I can see that many men who work really hard because they believe that once they are rich, they can have as many hot women as they want... I think this type of thought is especially prevelant among guys who are less physically attactive and have had a hard time getting girls' attention growing up...Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by piscesmoon2I think my sister's husband is the kind of guy who is very ambitous and goal-directed and believes that if he ever builds a kingdom in his career, he deserves to have the most beautiful women by his side... I think he does love my sister just as much as she loves him, but he has this kind of mentality of having more than one woman to match up his financial success... you know back in the days, rich men always have multiple women. I think that's what he sees himself.Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by imbatgirl14I can see that. I can see that boys who are married to good girls may find some badass women at work inresistable if they have never experienced this kind of women. Actually, that's my sister's ultimate fear. My sister has had a few bfs but she has only been intimate with one man, that is her husband. She's always worried that her husband might get bored one day and fall in love with someone who's her complete opposite. I mean, she is confident that he wouldn't leave her for another girl like her, but she's worried when there's someone just so different who just shows up in his life and relights his fire that sort of things.Posted by whatisthisallaboutI heard a man once say, you need to get it out of your system before you marry, so you won't end up doing it while you're married.Posted by ScorpGDo you have a particular reason other than not wanting to waste time?
Very nice threat! I wouldn't...
I think some of my guy friends they want to date a "red rose" (someone wild and crazy) but marry a "white rose" (someone who's gonna be a good mom for their children).
It depends on the quality of guy... if it is it love then many men cheat or leave a woman as they start to get older. However many woman just want a safe guy to pay for the expenses of raising kids or when they are younger a sugar daddy.
So these days men don't feel that special as woman just often looking for the guy to pay there bills ounces they had the fun with impractical bad boys or guys that spend all there time focusing on the gym or social networking rather then saving money or building a career.
Piscesmoon
Sounds like a dirt bag to me... it is not that we are not all made special but when we think we are to special for everyone else. So he is building his career to make money for him more the provide for a family. Again men these days say why settle down woman just want to be taken care off...
For me personally I have a hard time now these days as I could date or do things but everyone seems so fake. Always motivated by anything but love.
Piscesmoon
Just because a woman is good looking does not mean I would personally want to be with them... beside they are kinda being owned or bought at this point.
Piscesmoon
click to expand
Posted by piscesmoon2My sister is a very traditional woman so I think she will not divorce him even if it happens.Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by imbatgirl14I hope it will never happen. I know my sister will be crushed, completely crushed.Posted by whatisthisallaboutTemptation is always around the corner. It takes a remarkable and strong man to overcome temptation. If he does succumb to it, then that only means he didn't deserve her.Posted by imbatgirl14I can see that. I can see that boys who are married to good girls may find some badass women at work inresistable if they have never experienced this kind of women. Actually, that's my sister's ultimate fear. My sister has had a few bfs but she has only been intimate with one man, that is her husband. She's always worried that her husband might get bored one day and fall in love with someone who's her complete opposite. I mean, she is confident that he wouldn't leave her for another girl like her, but she's worried when there's someone just so different who just shows up in his life and relights his fire that sort of things.Posted by whatisthisallaboutI heard a man once say, you need to get it out of your system before you marry, so you won't end up doing it while you're married.Posted by ScorpGDo you have a particular reason other than not wanting to waste time?
Very nice threat! I wouldn't...
I think some of my guy friends they want to date a "red rose" (someone wild and crazy) but marry a "white rose" (someone who's gonna be a good mom for their children).
Most like will sorry to say with the attitude he has... it is simply how long before the opportunity comes up... she should have know better by the way he talks like that. She bring it on herself and rewarding guys like that to reenforcement them to think it is not only ok but that that it is socially excepted.
Piscesmoon
click to expand
She is a Leo sun Pisces moon so she's romantic and stubborn. She's very fixed.
I think she will still act like a queen even if she is crushed inside.
At what age?
Posted by Saggi212I know. When I was in high school, I didn't care that much.
Not sure ....for now i have already dated a person i knew i wouldnt marry...and i told him too ..but i am 19
For some reason i dont expect to find the love of my life that early...:p
I just enjoyed the romance :p
Posted by whatisthisallaboutI want to get married, so for me that would be a no.
I mean, there are some people who you love/can love, and you see them as bf/gf material, but on the back of your mind, you know he/she is NOT the one (e.g. you see yourself dating this person for longterm, or even living togther, but your gut tells you that you don't want to/will not marry this person.), what would you do?
Would you still date the person or you would just keep looking because you don't want to waste his/her time (especially neither of you have been married)? Thoughts?
If there's no chance of that in the future & we both want different things then I don't see any point in carrying on.
As it would be a waste of both of our time & at my age I don't have the luxury of time to waste.
Luckily, for me I'm with someone that's on the same page as me and wants the same things ?.
I have actually stepped away from a potential relationship in the past, because we wanted different things. He wanted kids and I don't want any more.
Even though I wanted to at least try and see where it could go, I had to step away. As he was 40, at the time I didn't feel it was fair to continue, knowing what he eventually wanted.
Posted by ScorpGI know. You must be strong to refuse to comform to them.Posted by whatisthisallaboutI see. It mustn't be a matter of gender. It's common for everybody and it's awful. It urges you to become like that to survive. Which I refuse at this moment.Posted by ScorpGYour observation is interesting. I feel the same when it comes to men. I feel they lean on me for emotional support but when I need their help, they feel I am too high pressure/too much to take care of... =.=Posted by whatisthisallaboutI got similar expectations from women, and they all allow me resolve my problems too. Maybe it's a matter of modernity, I don't know...Posted by ScorpGYes, the secret hope is always there lolPosted by whatisthisallaboutI agree with that, but isn't there always a secret hope that there will be future?Posted by ScorpGThat's true. I always think that if there's no future, then I should end things or not start anything at all.Posted by whatisthisallaboutIf there is not a purpose why date?Posted by ScorpGDo you have a particular reason other than not wanting to waste time?
Very nice threat! I wouldn't...
I think some of my guy friends they want to date a "red rose" (someone wild and crazy) but marry a "white rose" (someone who's gonna be a good mom for their children).
Plus, how will you express feelings for a person you see no future with and why not have future with a person you feel about?
However, sometimes in reality it is hard because there are many times in my life, I find myself strangely attracted to people I just know I won't get along with or they won't be able to make me happy in the long run. It just takes a lot of self control to not act on it when the attraction is strong...
But I realized that people don't change and won't change... I am the kind of person who wants my other half to be my best friend and main emotional support, but it is hard because most guys I have met just do not or cannot fulfill that role. They told me it's hard to just listen to my problems and allow me to resolve them my way.... I can see that they are better off with girls who turn to their friends for emotional support.
If there is no emotional support, there is no reason for a relationship.
One more observation: Many women say that they don't want other's help. But when you provide it, they grab it and when you ask for their help, they will maybe feel pushed.
It sucks when I am there for them when they need someone to talk to, but they only want to talk when they are in the mood to help... It happened with my gemini ex. I felt I was always there when he wanted to talk but when I needed his support, he was not able to support me emotionally. he was able to be physically present but he was not able to support me emotionally... it was a very strange experience.click to expand
I am not sure what to do at this point. Maybe I will feel less hurt if I don't make myself emotionally available to them either (so we are equal), but then, what's the meaning of the relationship?
Posted by RamOfPeaceThanks for sharing. The older I am the more I am aware that there's no one person who can fulfill all my needs. It's hard though because usually the guys I am dating get really jealous or upset about me talking to my guy friends. But the thing is, there's something they cannot fill so I still need my guy friends. I am not sure I am ready for polygamy, but maybe one day I will decide that it's the best for me.Posted by whatisthisallaboutIf I were still practicing monogamy - probably not. Thankfully, I've had my first marriage early in life, which in turn brought in realization that meaningful unions needn't be bound on paper/in church for anything, including childrearing, except maybe taxes and property ownership.
I mean, there are some people who you love/can love, and you see them as bf/gf material, but on the back of your mind, you know he/she is NOT the one (e.g. you see yourself dating this person for longterm, or even living togther, but your gut tells you that you don't want to/will not marry this person.), what would you do?
Would you still date the person or you would just keep looking because you don't want to waste his/her time (especially neither of you have been married)? Thoughts?
Also knowing that you cannot put all eggs in the same basket (rephrased as "no person in the world can ever fullfill your every need") helps.
click to expand
Posted by LadyPootsAlotI know. I have lived in the States for 10+ years now by myself. I told people about the situation and they were shocked. They couldn't believe that a guy could openly talk about his desire to have multiple women.Posted by whatisthisallaboutI thought Taiwan had a woman shortage— Is that only China?Posted by LadyPootsAlotTaiwan. I guess it is more prevalent in Asian countries?Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by piscesmoon2I guess he envisions that if he makes enough money he can support multiple families and he is confident that he will be "fair" to each of his families so to speak... I don't necessarily like the way he thinks but I give credits to him for his honesty. I can see that many men who work really hard because they believe that once they are rich, they can have as many hot women as they want... I think this type of thought is especially prevelant among guys who are less physically attactive and have had a hard time getting girls' attention growing up...Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by piscesmoon2I think my sister's husband is the kind of guy who is very ambitous and goal-directed and believes that if he ever builds a kingdom in his career, he deserves to have the most beautiful women by his side... I think he does love my sister just as much as she loves him, but he has this kind of mentality of having more than one woman to match up his financial success... you know back in the days, rich men always have multiple women. I think that's what he sees himself.Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by imbatgirl14I can see that. I can see that boys who are married to good girls may find some badass women at work inresistable if they have never experienced this kind of women. Actually, that's my sister's ultimate fear. My sister has had a few bfs but she has only been intimate with one man, that is her husband. She's always worried that her husband might get bored one day and fall in love with someone who's her complete opposite. I mean, she is confident that he wouldn't leave her for another girl like her, but she's worried when there's someone just so different who just shows up in his life and relights his fire that sort of things.Posted by whatisthisallaboutI heard a man once say, you need to get it out of your system before you marry, so you won't end up doing it while you're married.Posted by ScorpGDo you have a particular reason other than not wanting to waste time?
Very nice threat! I wouldn't...
I think some of my guy friends they want to date a "red rose" (someone wild and crazy) but marry a "white rose" (someone who's gonna be a good mom for their children).
It depends on the quality of guy... if it is it love then many men cheat or leave a woman as they start to get older. However many woman just want a safe guy to pay for the expenses of raising kids or when they are younger a sugar daddy.
So these days men don't feel that special as woman just often looking for the guy to pay there bills ounces they had the fun with impractical bad boys or guys that spend all there time focusing on the gym or social networking rather then saving money or building a career.
Piscesmoon
Sounds like a dirt bag to me... it is not that we are not all made special but when we think we are to special for everyone else. So he is building his career to make money for him more the provide for a family. Again men these days say why settle down woman just want to be taken care off...
For me personally I have a hard time now these days as I could date or do things but everyone seems so fake. Always motivated by anything but love.
Piscesmoon
What country are they in? I don't think this kind of thinking is prevalent among men anywhere that I've been...except maybe a backwoods part of Utah.
Does he want to have a bunch of families that are secret from one another or a harem where they all know they're not special? I want to punch him.
I have never seen or heard of a man voicing such a desire. Here in the US assholes keep caveman thoughts internal or put it on 4Chan.click to expand
I think there's probably a shortage of women in Taiwan too so many guys actually "import" wifes from other asian countries such as Vietnam.
Posted by the_sunflowerAre you a Leo? I think so far Leos consistently express this view.
No the person I date, is the person I will marry.im all for long term relationships
But realistically, we have to gauze and see everyday
Posted by GemitatiYou can share your experience of every era you have lived :p
At what age?
I'd be interested in learning how it has changed for you through different life stages.
Posted by Gob_ShiteI am curious because I don't believe in marriage but on the other hand I am taught to believe that it is a waste of time if you don't see yourself marrying the person. Anyways. I have a lot of internal conflicts on this topic.Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by Gob_ShiteYou don't believe in marriage?
It's a pretty silly question, if you don't believe in marriage...
I haven't given up on the thought of getting married one day with the right person completely yet LOL
Is it so strange for someone to think for themselves and NOT blindly follow the herd?
click to expand
Posted by whatisthisallaboutStarvation economy, the fear that if we share somethig with somebody else that they may get more, is what drives fear and jealousy in most. We're taught that since young age by our parents and society and it sucks.Posted by RamOfPeaceThanks for sharing. The older I am the more I am aware that there's no one person who can fulfill all my needs. It's hard though because usually the guys I am dating get really jealous or upset about me talking to my guy friends. But the thing is, there's something they cannot fill so I still need my guy friends. I am not sure I am ready for polygamy, but maybe one day I will decide that it's the best for me.Posted by whatisthisallaboutIf I were still practicing monogamy - probably not. Thankfully, I've had my first marriage early in life, which in turn brought in realization that meaningful unions needn't be bound on paper/in church for anything, including childrearing, except maybe taxes and property ownership.
I mean, there are some people who you love/can love, and you see them as bf/gf material, but on the back of your mind, you know he/she is NOT the one (e.g. you see yourself dating this person for longterm, or even living togther, but your gut tells you that you don't want to/will not marry this person.), what would you do?
Would you still date the person or you would just keep looking because you don't want to waste his/her time (especially neither of you have been married)? Thoughts?
Also knowing that you cannot put all eggs in the same basket (rephrased as "no person in the world can ever fullfill your every need") helps.
click to expand
People who can oversee this, practice love in abuncance and there's always plenty of love and affection to go around. Even if the thoughts like "my partner's other partner may be better than me, so I will be abandoned/overlooked" are debilitating.
Posted by MadMarchRamYou sound like a very fair person. I think it is graceful to walk away when two people don't want the same thing. I am in the process of walking away from someone--I know he wants to focus on his carrer right now while I am looking for a life partner. I can see that he doesn't want to be serious and doesn't want to talk about things that are serious--it just stresses him out. I can see that I have been selfish to want him to offer what he cannot/do not want to offer at this time. I think I am going to just walk away and wish him all the best.Posted by whatisthisallaboutI want to get married, so for me that would be a no.
I mean, there are some people who you love/can love, and you see them as bf/gf material, but on the back of your mind, you know he/she is NOT the one (e.g. you see yourself dating this person for longterm, or even living togther, but your gut tells you that you don't want to/will not marry this person.), what would you do?
Would you still date the person or you would just keep looking because you don't want to waste his/her time (especially neither of you have been married)? Thoughts?
If there's no chance of that in the future & we both want different things then I don't see any point in carrying on.
As it would be a waste of both of our time & at my age I don't have the luxury of time to waste.
Luckily, for me I'm with someone that's on the same page as me and wants the same things ?.
I have actually stepped away from a potential relationship in the past, because we wanted different things. He wanted kids and I don't want any more.
Even though I wanted to at least try and see where it could go, I had to step away. As he was 40, at the time I didn't feel it was fair to continue, knowing what he eventually wanted.
click to expand
Posted by LadyPootsAlotI am a woman but I have witnessed the tragedies caused by the misconception that as long as you are attractive enough, you can get everything you want in life... It is very sad because most of these women were so confident that they were gonna get the man to committ. after that didnt happen, they wonder if they were not hot enough or there's something wrong with them, etc. I'd be suprised if you don't know anyone like that in person.Posted by whatisthisallaboutSooo, you're not a woman, then. You're a man trying to make some kind of point?Posted by piscesmoon2I think the predominant culture taught women that as long as they are hot they can get anything they want... even though it is not the complete truth... Just look at all the looksmaxing threads on dxp and all DJ's threads 😆Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by piscesmoon2I guess he envisions that if he makes enough money he can support multiple families and he is confident that he will be "fair" to each of his families so to speak... I don't necessarily like the way he thinks but I give credits to him for his honesty. I can see that many men who work really hard because they believe that once they are rich, they can have as many hot women as they want... I think this type of thought is especially prevelant among guys who are less physically attactive and have had a hard time getting girls' attention growing up...Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by piscesmoon2I think my sister's husband is the kind of guy who is very ambitous and goal-directed and believes that if he ever builds a kingdom in his career, he deserves to have the most beautiful women by his side... I think he does love my sister just as much as she loves him, but he has this kind of mentality of having more than one woman to match up his financial success... you know back in the days, rich men always have multiple women. I think that's what he sees himself.Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by imbatgirl14I can see that. I can see that boys who are married to good girls may find some badass women at work inresistable if they have never experienced this kind of women. Actually, that's my sister's ultimate fear. My sister has had a few bfs but she has only been intimate with one man, that is her husband. She's always worried that her husband might get bored one day and fall in love with someone who's her complete opposite. I mean, she is confident that he wouldn't leave her for another girl like her, but she's worried when there's someone just so different who just shows up in his life and relights his fire that sort of things.Posted by whatisthisallaboutI heard a man once say, you need to get it out of your system before you marry, so you won't end up doing it while you're married.Posted by ScorpGDo you have a particular reason other than not wanting to waste time?
Very nice threat! I wouldn't...
I think some of my guy friends they want to date a "red rose" (someone wild and crazy) but marry a "white rose" (someone who's gonna be a good mom for their children).
It depends on the quality of guy... if it is it love then many men cheat or leave a woman as they start to get older. However many woman just want a safe guy to pay for the expenses of raising kids or when they are younger a sugar daddy.
So these days men don't feel that special as woman just often looking for the guy to pay there bills ounces they had the fun with impractical bad boys or guys that spend all there time focusing on the gym or social networking rather then saving money or building a career.
Piscesmoon
Sounds like a dirt bag to me... it is not that we are not all made special but when we think we are to special for everyone else. So he is building his career to make money for him more the provide for a family. Again men these days say why settle down woman just want to be taken care off...
For me personally I have a hard time now these days as I could date or do things but everyone seems so fake. Always motivated by anything but love.
Piscesmoon
Just because a woman is good looking does not mean I would personally want to be with them... beside they are kinda being owned or bought at this point.
Piscesmoon
This place is full of spies and traps.click to expand
Posted by LadyPootsAlotI think this mail ordered wife thing is very strange...Posted by whatisthisallaboutLike chattel. It disgusts me.Posted by LadyPootsAlotI know. I have lived in the States for 10+ years now by myself. I told people about the situation and they were shocked. They couldn't believe that a guy could openly talk about his desire to have multiple women.Posted by whatisthisallaboutI thought Taiwan had a woman shortage— Is that only China?Posted by LadyPootsAlotTaiwan. I guess it is more prevalent in Asian countries?Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by piscesmoon2I guess he envisions that if he makes enough money he can support multiple families and he is confident that he will be "fair" to each of his families so to speak... I don't necessarily like the way he thinks but I give credits to him for his honesty. I can see that many men who work really hard because they believe that once they are rich, they can have as many hot women as they want... I think this type of thought is especially prevelant among guys who are less physically attactive and have had a hard time getting girls' attention growing up...Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by piscesmoon2I think my sister's husband is the kind of guy who is very ambitous and goal-directed and believes that if he ever builds a kingdom in his career, he deserves to have the most beautiful women by his side... I think he does love my sister just as much as she loves him, but he has this kind of mentality of having more than one woman to match up his financial success... you know back in the days, rich men always have multiple women. I think that's what he sees himself.Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by imbatgirl14I can see that. I can see that boys who are married to good girls may find some badass women at work inresistable if they have never experienced this kind of women. Actually, that's my sister's ultimate fear. My sister has had a few bfs but she has only been intimate with one man, that is her husband. She's always worried that her husband might get bored one day and fall in love with someone who's her complete opposite. I mean, she is confident that he wouldn't leave her for another girl like her, but she's worried when there's someone just so different who just shows up in his life and relights his fire that sort of things.Posted by whatisthisallaboutI heard a man once say, you need to get it out of your system before you marry, so you won't end up doing it while you're married.Posted by ScorpGDo you have a particular reason other than not wanting to waste time?
Very nice threat! I wouldn't...
I think some of my guy friends they want to date a "red rose" (someone wild and crazy) but marry a "white rose" (someone who's gonna be a good mom for their children).
It depends on the quality of guy... if it is it love then many men cheat or leave a woman as they start to get older. However many woman just want a safe guy to pay for the expenses of raising kids or when they are younger a sugar daddy.
So these days men don't feel that special as woman just often looking for the guy to pay there bills ounces they had the fun with impractical bad boys or guys that spend all there time focusing on the gym or social networking rather then saving money or building a career.
Piscesmoon
Sounds like a dirt bag to me... it is not that we are not all made special but when we think we are to special for everyone else. So he is building his career to make money for him more the provide for a family. Again men these days say why settle down woman just want to be taken care off...
For me personally I have a hard time now these days as I could date or do things but everyone seems so fake. Always motivated by anything but love.
Piscesmoon
What country are they in? I don't think this kind of thinking is prevalent among men anywhere that I've been...except maybe a backwoods part of Utah.
Does he want to have a bunch of families that are secret from one another or a harem where they all know they're not special? I want to punch him.
I have never seen or heard of a man voicing such a desire. Here in the US assholes keep caveman thoughts internal or put it on 4Chan.
I think there's probably a shortage of women in Taiwan too so many guys actually "import" wifes from other asian countries such as Vietnam.click to expand
I don't see women import husbands from other countries.. or maybe I am just ignorant? At least I havent heard of any women doing that.
Posted by Neno2awww. that's a good attitude.Posted by whatisthisallaboutNope
I mean, there are some people who you love/can love, and you see them as bf/gf material, but on the back of your mind, you know he/she is NOT the one (e.g. you see yourself dating this person for longterm, or even living togther, but your gut tells you that you don't want to/will not marry this person.), what would you do?
Would you still date the person or you would just keep looking because you don't want to waste his/her time (especially neither of you have been married)? Thoughts?
I would expect to rock each others worlds for eternityclick to expand
Posted by RamOfPeaceHow did you overcome the fear? How did you realize that polygamy was the right thing for you?Posted by whatisthisallaboutStarvation economy, the fear that if we share somethig with somebody else that they may get more, is what drives fear and jealousy in most. We're taught that since young age by our parents and society and it sucks.Posted by RamOfPeaceThanks for sharing. The older I am the more I am aware that there's no one person who can fulfill all my needs. It's hard though because usually the guys I am dating get really jealous or upset about me talking to my guy friends. But the thing is, there's something they cannot fill so I still need my guy friends. I am not sure I am ready for polygamy, but maybe one day I will decide that it's the best for me.Posted by whatisthisallaboutIf I were still practicing monogamy - probably not. Thankfully, I've had my first marriage early in life, which in turn brought in realization that meaningful unions needn't be bound on paper/in church for anything, including childrearing, except maybe taxes and property ownership.
I mean, there are some people who you love/can love, and you see them as bf/gf material, but on the back of your mind, you know he/she is NOT the one (e.g. you see yourself dating this person for longterm, or even living togther, but your gut tells you that you don't want to/will not marry this person.), what would you do?
Would you still date the person or you would just keep looking because you don't want to waste his/her time (especially neither of you have been married)? Thoughts?
Also knowing that you cannot put all eggs in the same basket (rephrased as "no person in the world can ever fullfill your every need") helps.
People who can oversee this, practice love in abuncance and there's always plenty of love and affection to go around. Even if the thoughts like "my partner's other partner may be better than me, so I will be abandoned/overlooked" are debilitating.
click to expand
Posted by BuffaloBills28HAHAHAHAHA. you speak practicality!
Depends, would she be down for first date anal?
Posted by whatisthisallaboutThank you, I try to be fair.Posted by MadMarchRamYou sound like a very fair person. I think it is graceful to walk away when two people don't want the same thing. I am in the process of walking away from someone--I know he wants to focus on his carrer right now while I am looking for a life partner. I can see that he doesn't want to be serious and doesn't want to talk about things that are serious--it just stresses him out. I can see that I have been selfish to want him to offer what he cannot/do not want to offer at this time. I think I am going to just walk away and wish him all the best.Posted by whatisthisallaboutI want to get married, so for me that would be a no.
I mean, there are some people who you love/can love, and you see them as bf/gf material, but on the back of your mind, you know he/she is NOT the one (e.g. you see yourself dating this person for longterm, or even living togther, but your gut tells you that you don't want to/will not marry this person.), what would you do?
Would you still date the person or you would just keep looking because you don't want to waste his/her time (especially neither of you have been married)? Thoughts?
If there's no chance of that in the future & we both want different things then I don't see any point in carrying on.
As it would be a waste of both of our time & at my age I don't have the luxury of time to waste.
Luckily, for me I'm with someone that's on the same page as me and wants the same things ?.
I have actually stepped away from a potential relationship in the past, because we wanted different things. He wanted kids and I don't want any more.
Even though I wanted to at least try and see where it could go, I had to step away. As he was 40, at the time I didn't feel it was fair to continue, knowing what he eventually wanted.
click to expand
You're doing the right thing, for the right reasons.
There's no point dragging out the inevitable. It always ends badly when that happens.
If you can at least have a friend out of it then it was worth it.
Posted by whatisthisallaboutI'll make post fornYOU. LolPosted by GemitatiYou can share your experience of every era you have lived :p
At what age?
I'd be interested in learning how it has changed for you through different life stages.click to expand
Posted by LadyPootsAlotI see. I observed this with the sag friend and also a virgo friend. Both are very attractive and have a good career and are used to guys falling head over heels for them. It's very hard for them when they met their first guy who didn't reciprocate or not wanted the same things... The insecurity only came after the guy didn't give them what they want... Also my sag friend was the only child and she was raised to believe that she's the best by her parents...Posted by whatisthisallaboutI don't know any women who are that confident in their looks. I'm certainly not.Posted by LadyPootsAlotI am a woman but I have witnessed the tragedies caused by the misconception that as long as you are attractive enough, you can get everything you want in life... It is very sad because most of these women were so confident that they were gonna get the man to committ. after that didnt happen, they wonder if they were not hot enough or there's something wrong with them, etc. I'd be suprised if you don't know anyone like that in person.Posted by whatisthisallaboutSooo, you're not a woman, then. You're a man trying to make some kind of point?Posted by piscesmoon2I think the predominant culture taught women that as long as they are hot they can get anything they want... even though it is not the complete truth... Just look at all the looksmaxing threads on dxp and all DJ's threads 😆Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by piscesmoon2I guess he envisions that if he makes enough money he can support multiple families and he is confident that he will be "fair" to each of his families so to speak... I don't necessarily like the way he thinks but I give credits to him for his honesty. I can see that many men who work really hard because they believe that once they are rich, they can have as many hot women as they want... I think this type of thought is especially prevelant among guys who are less physically attactive and have had a hard time getting girls' attention growing up...Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by piscesmoon2I think my sister's husband is the kind of guy who is very ambitous and goal-directed and believes that if he ever builds a kingdom in his career, he deserves to have the most beautiful women by his side... I think he does love my sister just as much as she loves him, but he has this kind of mentality of having more than one woman to match up his financial success... you know back in the days, rich men always have multiple women. I think that's what he sees himself.Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by imbatgirl14I can see that. I can see that boys who are married to good girls may find some badass women at work inresistable if they have never experienced this kind of women. Actually, that's my sister's ultimate fear. My sister has had a few bfs but she has only been intimate with one man, that is her husband. She's always worried that her husband might get bored one day and fall in love with someone who's her complete opposite. I mean, she is confident that he wouldn't leave her for another girl like her, but she's worried when there's someone just so different who just shows up in his life and relights his fire that sort of things.Posted by whatisthisallaboutI heard a man once say, you need to get it out of your system before you marry, so you won't end up doing it while you're married.Posted by ScorpGDo you have a particular reason other than not wanting to waste time?
Very nice threat! I wouldn't...
I think some of my guy friends they want to date a "red rose" (someone wild and crazy) but marry a "white rose" (someone who's gonna be a good mom for their children).
It depends on the quality of guy... if it is it love then many men cheat or leave a woman as they start to get older. However many woman just want a safe guy to pay for the expenses of raising kids or when they are younger a sugar daddy.
So these days men don't feel that special as woman just often looking for the guy to pay there bills ounces they had the fun with impractical bad boys or guys that spend all there time focusing on the gym or social networking rather then saving money or building a career.
Piscesmoon
Sounds like a dirt bag to me... it is not that we are not all made special but when we think we are to special for everyone else. So he is building his career to make money for him more the provide for a family. Again men these days say why settle down woman just want to be taken care off...
For me personally I have a hard time now these days as I could date or do things but everyone seems so fake. Always motivated by anything but love.
Piscesmoon
Just because a woman is good looking does not mean I would personally want to be with them... beside they are kinda being owned or bought at this point.
Piscesmoon
This place is full of spies and traps.click to expand
Posted by MadMarchRamThank your for the encouragement. I need it! 🤗Posted by whatisthisallaboutThank you, I try to be fair.Posted by MadMarchRamYou sound like a very fair person. I think it is graceful to walk away when two people don't want the same thing. I am in the process of walking away from someone--I know he wants to focus on his carrer right now while I am looking for a life partner. I can see that he doesn't want to be serious and doesn't want to talk about things that are serious--it just stresses him out. I can see that I have been selfish to want him to offer what he cannot/do not want to offer at this time. I think I am going to just walk away and wish him all the best.Posted by whatisthisallaboutI want to get married, so for me that would be a no.
I mean, there are some people who you love/can love, and you see them as bf/gf material, but on the back of your mind, you know he/she is NOT the one (e.g. you see yourself dating this person for longterm, or even living togther, but your gut tells you that you don't want to/will not marry this person.), what would you do?
Would you still date the person or you would just keep looking because you don't want to waste his/her time (especially neither of you have been married)? Thoughts?
If there's no chance of that in the future & we both want different things then I don't see any point in carrying on.
As it would be a waste of both of our time & at my age I don't have the luxury of time to waste.
Luckily, for me I'm with someone that's on the same page as me and wants the same things ?.
I have actually stepped away from a potential relationship in the past, because we wanted different things. He wanted kids and I don't want any more.
Even though I wanted to at least try and see where it could go, I had to step away. As he was 40, at the time I didn't feel it was fair to continue, knowing what he eventually wanted.
You're doing the right thing, for the right reasons.
There's no point dragging out the inevitable. It always ends badly when that happens.
If you can at least have a friend out of it then it was worth it.
click to expand
Posted by GemitatiLOLPosted by whatisthisallaboutI'll make post fornYOU. LolPosted by GemitatiYou can share your experience of every era you have lived :p
At what age?
I'd be interested in learning how it has changed for you through different life stages.
click to expand
Posted by LadyPootsAlotWhy didn't you have self-esteem as a child? Was it related to your family environment or it just came out of nowhere?Posted by whatisthisallaboutWell, maybe that's it then. I had no self-esteem as a child. I used to sit in front of the mirror and tell myself how ugly I was over and over. People can tell me I'm beautiful, but I don't believe it. There's nothing good about being outwardly attractive to the random world anyway. All it does it make you more vulnerable to people looking for victims, because you stand out. I'm relieved when they are women around who are obviously better-looking than me. They take the heat.Posted by LadyPootsAlotI see. I observed this with the sag friend and also a virgo friend. Both are very attractive and have a good career and are used to guys falling head over heels for them. It's very hard for them when they met their first guy who didn't reciprocate or not wanted the same things... The insecurity only came after the guy didn't give them what they want... Also my sag friend was the only child and she was raised to believe that she's the best by her parents...Posted by whatisthisallaboutI don't know any women who are that confident in their looks. I'm certainly not.Posted by LadyPootsAlotI am a woman but I have witnessed the tragedies caused by the misconception that as long as you are attractive enough, you can get everything you want in life... It is very sad because most of these women were so confident that they were gonna get the man to committ. after that didnt happen, they wonder if they were not hot enough or there's something wrong with them, etc. I'd be suprised if you don't know anyone like that in person.Posted by whatisthisallaboutSooo, you're not a woman, then. You're a man trying to make some kind of point?Posted by piscesmoon2I think the predominant culture taught women that as long as they are hot they can get anything they want... even though it is not the complete truth... Just look at all the looksmaxing threads on dxp and all DJ's threads 😆Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by piscesmoon2I guess he envisions that if he makes enough money he can support multiple families and he is confident that he will be "fair" to each of his families so to speak... I don't necessarily like the way he thinks but I give credits to him for his honesty. I can see that many men who work really hard because they believe that once they are rich, they can have as many hot women as they want... I think this type of thought is especially prevelant among guys who are less physically attactive and have had a hard time getting girls' attention growing up...Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by piscesmoon2I think my sister's husband is the kind of guy who is very ambitous and goal-directed and believes that if he ever builds a kingdom in his career, he deserves to have the most beautiful women by his side... I think he does love my sister just as much as she loves him, but he has this kind of mentality of having more than one woman to match up his financial success... you know back in the days, rich men always have multiple women. I think that's what he sees himself.Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by imbatgirl14I can see that. I can see that boys who are married to good girls may find some badass women at work inresistable if they have never experienced this kind of women. Actually, that's my sister's ultimate fear. My sister has had a few bfs but she has only been intimate with one man, that is her husband. She's always worried that her husband might get bored one day and fall in love with someone who's her complete opposite. I mean, she is confident that he wouldn't leave her for another girl like her, but she's worried when there's someone just so different who just shows up in his life and relights his fire that sort of things.Posted by whatisthisallaboutI heard a man once say, you need to get it out of your system before you marry, so you won't end up doing it while you're married.Posted by ScorpGDo you have a particular reason other than not wanting to waste time?
Very nice threat! I wouldn't...
I think some of my guy friends they want to date a "red rose" (someone wild and crazy) but marry a "white rose" (someone who's gonna be a good mom for their children).
It depends on the quality of guy... if it is it love then many men cheat or leave a woman as they start to get older. However many woman just want a safe guy to pay for the expenses of raising kids or when they are younger a sugar daddy.
So these days men don't feel that special as woman just often looking for the guy to pay there bills ounces they had the fun with impractical bad boys or guys that spend all there time focusing on the gym or social networking rather then saving money or building a career.
Piscesmoon
Sounds like a dirt bag to me... it is not that we are not all made special but when we think we are to special for everyone else. So he is building his career to make money for him more the provide for a family. Again men these days say why settle down woman just want to be taken care off...
For me personally I have a hard time now these days as I could date or do things but everyone seems so fake. Always motivated by anything but love.
Piscesmoon
Just because a woman is good looking does not mean I would personally want to be with them... beside they are kinda being owned or bought at this point.
Piscesmoon
This place is full of spies and traps.
The only guys I ever dumped were those I went on one date with and knew I wasn't interested in, because I didn't want to hurt them by leading them on. All of the ones I loved dumped me. Whether I was pretty or not didn't matter one damn bit.click to expand
My mom is very verbally and emotionally abusive so that has negatively impacted my self-esteem growing up, but I feel ok now that I have moved away from home for over 10 years.
Sorry to hear that the ones you loved left you.
Posted by whatisthisallaboutYou're welcome ?Posted by MadMarchRamThank your for the encouragement. I need it! 🤗Posted by whatisthisallaboutThank you, I try to be fair.Posted by MadMarchRamYou sound like a very fair person. I think it is graceful to walk away when two people don't want the same thing. I am in the process of walking away from someone--I know he wants to focus on his carrer right now while I am looking for a life partner. I can see that he doesn't want to be serious and doesn't want to talk about things that are serious--it just stresses him out. I can see that I have been selfish to want him to offer what he cannot/do not want to offer at this time. I think I am going to just walk away and wish him all the best.Posted by whatisthisallaboutI want to get married, so for me that would be a no.
I mean, there are some people who you love/can love, and you see them as bf/gf material, but on the back of your mind, you know he/she is NOT the one (e.g. you see yourself dating this person for longterm, or even living togther, but your gut tells you that you don't want to/will not marry this person.), what would you do?
Would you still date the person or you would just keep looking because you don't want to waste his/her time (especially neither of you have been married)? Thoughts?
If there's no chance of that in the future & we both want different things then I don't see any point in carrying on.
As it would be a waste of both of our time & at my age I don't have the luxury of time to waste.
Luckily, for me I'm with someone that's on the same page as me and wants the same things ?.
I have actually stepped away from a potential relationship in the past, because we wanted different things. He wanted kids and I don't want any more.
Even though I wanted to at least try and see where it could go, I had to step away. As he was 40, at the time I didn't feel it was fair to continue, knowing what he eventually wanted.
You're doing the right thing, for the right reasons.
There's no point dragging out the inevitable. It always ends badly when that happens.
If you can at least have a friend out of it then it was worth it.
click to expand
Posted by whatisthisallaboutNo, I always find Taurus women either a bit too stubborn or not intellectually stimulating enough for me...or both. I have female Taurus friends who I think are great. They are fun folk, but never met one who pressed all of my buttons.Posted by ChuckcemDo you often end up dating Taurus girls? I think they have a lot of patience. My sister is married to a Taurus 🙂Posted by whatisthisallaboutYeah I tend to take my time, which can be confusing to the other person. I generally do this to weed out women who may have low self esteem or are emotionally hampered in some way. I'm not cold though and am generally charming/flirtatious. I never chase, but I'll always initiate contact to set up more dates.Posted by ChuckcemI always think it is better to have high standards. It is even better that you hold yourself to the same standards. I think that makes it a fair relationship.Posted by whatisthisallaboutHahah the funny thing is I don't really see it as being picky, just holding everyone to the standard I hold myself. I've been told I'm extremely stable and that's basically what I look for in another person.Posted by ChuckcemYour approach is very similar to my younger sister!Posted by whatisthisallaboutI'm not a serial dater, and actually fairly picky. I only date women I'd like to have in my life for a considerable amount of time. This has it's major upsides and downsides of course. The upside is a stronger connection (and no bad dates really). The downside is that it's a punch to the gut if things ended poorly with that person.Posted by ChuckcemHave you fallen for girls you don't want to marry?
Not really, wouldn't be fair to the other person if I never planned to get serious with them. It would only work if both people were fine with keeping things casual.
Or do you only give your heart to those that you can see a lifelong potential with? 😕
I feel it is so tricky because sometimes we may be attracted to people who are so different from ourselves and we know our personalities clash, but the attraction is still there...
She is also a Leo and is extremely picky. She is happily married with 2 kids now 🙂
BTW, do you observe a person for a long time to make sure that she's gonna make a stable partner?
It's a weird mix of Leo and Virgo energy with a Capricorn Mars thrown in the mix. The Leo side is sunny and charming while the Virgo side is quiet and calculating. Once I'm interested I take bigger and bigger risks with my heart. My nature is always calm/collected and it takes a lot to ruffle my feathers. So I a very patient person and have no problem observing.click to expand
Not interested in marriage. But I wouldn't stay with someone if I didn't see a future.
Posted by whatisthisallaboutBoth. I would be open about what I want and where the person stands in regards to marriage. If I am at the point where I am not sure then that is what I will say. If it goes on for a while where I am not reaching a point where I'll know I will assume it is not at that point and wont ever be and I will end the relationship.
I mean, there are some people who you love/can love, and you see them as bf/gf material, but on the back of your mind, you know he/she is NOT the one (e.g. you see yourself dating this person for longterm, or even living togther, but your gut tells you that you don't want to/will not marry this person.), what would you do?
Would you still date the person or you would just keep looking because you don't want to waste his/her time (especially neither of you have been married)? Thoughts?
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnZHD_iB84s&gl=FR
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