Somewhat a general dating question concerning sagittarians and red flags.

I wouldn't mind general answers or astrology specific answers.
When me and said Sagittarius sun (moon/libra, mercury/cap, venus/aqua, mars/sagittarius...) had been talking for a week, I spent the night over his house. Nothing happened. We did have a light make out session it didn't get further than that because we're both trying to take things slow (Yes I know I know). Him more so than I.
So I was laying down in his bed, and I saw on his floor hair pins. Mind you, he has no hair.

Me being the Gemini that I am, Im upset so I took the hair pins while he was asleep. In my mind whoever she was was going to be out of luck with the hair pins LOL. Also, if they reappeared I would know somethings fishy.
Then I calmed down quickly because we are just talking as friends. Hes probably playing the field. I can't blame him for that.

So a two weeks later we went out... So I go back to his place because I'm tipsy and can't drive. Two things I notice: there was no more hair pins and his room stays in a constant state of cluttered junkiness. I didn't go to his restroom before but when I did this time I notice some L'Oreal in the shower... again no hair. But before I went to go use the his restroom he made me wait to clean it up.

On a side note, I have met his friends. Hes not secretive when it comes to us and social media. He is very busy as a mechanic
His roommate knows about me. And also he practically told me to come over anytime that I wanted to use his apartments gym.

Do you think it can just be laziness after his previous relationship of which he said was 6 months ago, or am I blinded because I like him?

I'm a Gemini Sun and Venus, Sagittarius moon, mercury in cancer if it matters.

ask him if he's seeing someone. duh! how would we know?

Were they brown or black hair pins?

Posted by KittenLaRouge
ask him if he's seeing someone. duh! how would we know?

"Do you think it can just be laziness after his previous relationship of which he said was 6 months ago, or am I blinded because I like him?"

Apparently I'm asking a opinionated question. I didn't ask anyone if you know he's seeing someone else. I'm asking the readers a probability question based of their experiences. I don't expect you to know. Just in general... that's why I stated that first to avoid responses like these. Why do I wanna avoid responses like these? Because I have asked him, and he said no.

Posted by DMV
Were they brown or black hair pins?

Lolol honestly DMV I wanna say they were just regular black one. Idk I was so mad. I took all of them lolol there was like 7 of them haha.

Posted by AriesLove
Are you his girlfriend? No

How long you been talking? 1 week

What do you want from him? Obviously exclusiveness

Does this bother you? Yes

What should I do? Don't sleep with him, keep emotions under control, stay friends for a few months, see if he really likes you and discuss your options from there.

Don't want you to end up like @Geminiam and become a possessive, obsessive stalker.

Yeah you're right. I don't think I have it in me to stalk someone!!! Lol. I'm so new to this whole dating thing. Actually he's probably taking my dating virginity. Haha but @AriesLove I don't know if I should just disregard this or bring it up to him and cut the possibilities of a relationship off right then.
Like what's the seriousness of this? He said he's not seeing anyone should I belive him and ignore them?

I think you should realize that its only been a week since you guys talked etc. No time has really developed for you guys to establish a bond or to make such decisions. I'm currently dating a Sag and i'm an Aqua, it took us about 3-4 months to realize we aren't just friends and we took our relationship to the next level. However, My Sag never made me doubt his loyalty or had bobby pins on the floor or even anything giving me suspicion. He was open with me from day 1. Why I'm bringing this up: In hindsight, If he or I , brought up the exclusiving dating too early, both parties would've been disinterested. We needed the time to be sure of our own feelings before taking it to the next step. He needs time to develop that and so do you

What I think really should happen is stop all the labels...after all, emotions don't understand labels... This will help clear out the "what should I say and do" Just because two people aren't labeled doesn't mean it should dictate how we should treat one another at all times. This being said, You need to access what you feel and what you want out of this. He'll need to have that time to do so as well. Then communicate it honestly with one another..if it doesn't work out then at least it was honest and it saved time.If it does, it establishes a deeper connection

Okay so I'm rambling, how bout them bobby pins and shampoo?! Did he ever answer you directly about it? Some people can be lazy..like man i have 3 empty shampoos in my shower lol

I would suggest right now to focus on getting to know each other vs whether or not he is loyal or not. Those things come when there is a good bond established. Instead of focusing whether or not he is playing around, those things will come as things develop. In relationships, or matters of the heart, Its make or break it. The only thing anyone can do is do their best 100% ..on their own individuality, cause any other way can just lower the chances of being a successful relationship. That is the risk we all are taking...to be hurt. You need to determine with your own values, if this is a relationship that could be worth it.

Posted by candi3bb
I think you should realize that its only been a week since you guys talked etc. No time has really developed for you guys to establish a bond or to make such decisions. I'm currently dating a Sag and i'm an Aqua, it took us about 3-4 months to realize we aren't just friends and we took our relationship to the next level. However, My Sag never made me doubt his loyalty or had bobby pins on the floor or even anything giving me suspicion. He was open with me from day 1. Why I'm bringing this up: In hindsight, If he or I , brought up the exclusiving dating too early, both parties would've been disinterested. We needed the time to be sure of our own feelings before taking it to the next step. He needs time to develop that and so do you

What I think really should happen is stop all the labels...after all, emotions don't understand labels... This will help clear out the "what should I say and do" Just because two people aren't labeled doesn't mean it should dictate how we should treat one another at all times. This being said, You need to access what you feel and what you want out of this. He'll need to have that time to do so as well. Then communicate it honestly with one another..if it doesn't work out then at least it was honest and it saved time.If it does, it establishes a deeper connection

Okay so I'm rambling, how bout them bobby pins and shampoo?! Did he ever answer you directly about it? Some people can be lazy..like man i have 3 empty shampoos in my shower lol

I would suggest right now to focus on getting to know each other vs whether or not he is loyal or not. Those things come when there is a good bond established. Instead of focusing whether or not he is playing around, those things will come as things develop. In relationships, or matters of the heart, Its make or break it. The only thing anyone can do is do their best 100% ..on their own individuality, cause any other way can just lower the chances of being a successful relationship. That is the risk we all are taking...to be hurt. You need to determine with your own values, if this is a relationship that could be worth it.

Why are you so right? :/ oh to clear things up we've been talking for a month now.

so whatever happened with this story, any answers?

Ewww, he hasn't cleaned his room since him last relationship ended?! Gross!

Posted by leeberated

so whatever happened with this story, any answers?

Sorry for the three-year belated reply. So what happened is so dumb.

Basically we got to know each other on a deeper level. Around the three month mark, I decided to let him know that I had never had sex before in my 24 years of living. He got apprehensive. I guess he thought he would have to babysit me and my feelings because I was a virgin (eye roll at the thought that all women lose all RATIONALE when they lose their virginities).

He ended up being "too busy" all the time, barely texting me, but we were still trying to meet with one another. He ended up flaking on me two times. I could sense that there was something other than my virginity at play for which he would string me along. All along I could sense it, hence my original post. So I sent him a long text about his inconsistencies, and I ghosted him.

Two years later (2018) I deleted all my social medias to start over. We added each other back. Discussed our fallout. Went to an EDM concert. Everything was on the up-and-up.

We're both people of color. I said that to say this: I have experienced being pushed to the back-burner by black men a few times before so that they can pursue white women (No offense to white women. All offense to the black men who fetishize them). If you're Caucasian, I do not expect you to understand these problems of the black american community. In fact, I even expect some backlash. My family eithnicity is majority creole (French, Spaniard, Hatian mix), so I see both sides. BUT... he was definitely assigning me lesser importance because I'm not a white woman.

I learned of his dating history prior to knowing me: all white women. Those two years we didn't talk, he dated a white woman. And when we reconnected for the edm concert, two weeks later, he started dating another white woman (his now fiance in 2023).

So yeah. Again, I do not mean to offend or come across as the, "angry, black woman," It is just I would have liked a heads up that I had no chance.

Well ya win some, ya lose some.

At least you tried and that's all you can do.

Still the bobby pins scream black girl. So black girls could be his fetish.

Posted by Arielle83

Interesting update.

Timely indeed

Posted by DMV

Well ya win some, ya lose some.

At least you tried and that's all you can do.

Still the bobby pins scream black girl. So black girls could be his fetish.

With that libra moon, he is fetishizing something. You are probably right, even though my friends consider me racially amalgamous. Like I said, this has happened before. I get the sense that these guys think that I'm black enough to be considered black, but my brand of black is very close to being white *eye roll*. It's very convoluted. I have thought a great deal about this topic.

After him and his new girlfriend breaks up, he'll come back wanting to hang out again. I guess that's the Sagittarian in him.

So what happened with this @kingflo and his rant? @Arielle83

I have nothing to add but kudos to you for coming back and updating...it's a rarity. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Posted by mjmotr1

Posted by DMV

Well ya win some, ya lose some.

At least you tried and that's all you can do.

Still the bobby pins scream black girl. So black girls could be his fetish.

With that libra moon, he is fetishizing something. You are probably right, but I hardly look black. I look very racially ambiguous. Like I said, this has happened before. I get the sense that these guys think that I'm black enough to be considered black, but my brand of black is very close to being white. It's very convoluted. I have thought a great deal about this topic.

After him and his new girlfriend breaks up, he'll come back wanting to hang out again. I guess that's the Sagittarian in him.

click to expand

So you guys never had sex? And you two are still in contact as friends?

As a Sagittarius women, I’ve turned down virgin men as well. There’s a certain responsibility with taking someone’s virginity. Usually it ends up in a first love type situation, which carries a lot of “commitment” weight. It ruins the casualness of the situation.

They also don’t have much sexual experience and I don’t want to teach anyone what they’re supposed to be doing.

If he is still around and friends with you, he must value you.

@saggurl88 No he does not communicate with me while he's in a relationship. But, like I said, I deleted all my social media and he added me back to Instagram. I accepted the invitation. Two months into his relationship, he added me on Snapchat. We don't actually converse. I guess I'm forever a backup plan?

While in his relationship, he sent me a picture of his cat. We both love cats. But yes, he keeps coming around. I must say, there was a real intense connection there, to be honest. We ended up getting very sexual with one another. He stopped the ordeals each time, but I was ready. I don't think he knew what to do.

I ended up getting a boyfriend who I lost my virginity to this year. And I broke up with that same boyfriend because I didn't lose my rationale. Go figure.

The Sagittarius guy just immediately counted me out without evaluating my emotional maturity. Like I said, probably because I wasn't a white woman.

And I didn't fly off the handle and ghost him for no reason. It was the second time that he sent me a text meant for somebody else. I kept trying to make it light-hearted like insulting his texting skills. He would insist that the text was for me. I don't know how else to interpret a "I'm free, you can come over now," text after I've already come over and left. Funny thing is, the very first time I met him, I was, unbeknownst to him, a very active participant in the BDSM culture.

Is what it is.

Posted by mjmotr1

@saggurl88 No he does not communicate with me while he's in a relationship. But, like I said, I deleted all my social media and he added me back to Instagram. I accepted the invitation. Two months into his relationship, he added me on Snapchat. We don't actually converse. I guess I'm forever a backup plan? Lol.

While in his relationship, he sent me a picture of his cat. We both love cats. But yes he keeps coming around. I must say, there was a real intense connection there to be honest. We ended up getting very sexual with one another. He stopped the ordeals each time, but I was ready. I don't think he knew what to do.

I ended up getting a boyfriend who I lost my virginity to this year. And I broke up with that same boyfriend. Because I wasn't too emotionally distraught by him sticking his penis in me.

Sagittarius guy just immediately counted me out without evaluating my emotional maturity. Like I said, probably because I wasn't a white woman.

And I didn't fly off the handle and ghost him for no reason. It was the second time that he sent me a text meant for somebody else. I kept trying to make it light-hearted like insulting his texting skills. He would insist that the text was for me. I don't know how else to interpret a "I'm free, you can come over now," text after I've already come over and left. Funny thing is, the very first time I met him, I was a very active participant in the BDSM culture lol.

Is what it is.

This would probably be better confirmed through him.

Cause how I see it is him being nervous that he would be stuck with you and have to practically marry you once you lost your virginity to him.

We tend to overthink like that.

Especially with how freely he hit up someone else for just sex once you got his engines revved and he was ready to go.

He may have back burnered you waiting for you to lose your virginity so he can have a real go with you as friends first, without the pressure of a relationship being in the forefront.

@dilettante @saggurl88

You guys are right. Sheesh glad I dodge that bullet.

I'm not sure how he was dodging a relationship when he got into a two-year relationship, and now he's in a one-year relationship going on two.

Idk if there's a redemption for him, but he is fun to hang out with. I don't think I'll ever see him as boyfriend material. If a fwb relationship is in the future for us, then so be it.

Posted by mjmotr1

@dilettante @saggurl88

You guys are right. Sheesh glad I dodge that bullet.

I'm not sure how he was dodging a relationship when he got into a two-year relationship, and now he's in a one-year relationship going on two.

Idk if there's a redemption for him, but he is fun to hang out with. I don't think I'll ever see him as boyfriend material. If a fwb relationship is in the future for us, then so be it.

But it was his choice without any predetermined statuses. There has to be an air of freedom for us to commit.

I seriously think you being too pure was a major setback in his mind. Like whether he was into you or not, he would be stuck with you because he took it.

Sag are pretty responsible with this type of thing.

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by mjmotr1

@dilettante @saggurl88

You guys are right. Sheesh glad I dodge that bullet.

I'm not sure how he was dodging a relationship when he got into a two-year relationship, and now he's in a one-year relationship going on two.

Idk if there's a redemption for him, but he is fun to hang out with. I don't think I'll ever see him as boyfriend material. If a fwb relationship is in the future for us, then so be it.

But it was his choice without any predetermined statuses. There has to be an air of freedom for us to commit.

I seriously think you being too pure was a major setback in his mind. Like whether he was into you or not, he would be stuck with you because he took it.

Sag are pretty responsible with this type of thing.

click to expand

2024 update!:

He reached out to me a couple of months ago, asking if I would like to go to another concert with him. Mind you, he is still with the last white woman that I saw him with on socials two weeks after the last EDM concert. I tried to search him on FB to see if he was still with the woman - he was unsearchable! Then I remembered her and I had mutual friends so I searched her. They are actually engaged!

Not new to polyamory because I was in the BDSM life style for a while, I messaged: Sure, if your girlfriend is okay with it?

(Purposely downplaying the significance of their relationship to see if he would correct me. Spoiler: he did not)

He responded: Well she's the one who flaked on me *shrugs shoulders emoji*

I did not reply after that but he sent me a private video of him from the concert.

He is a cheating asshole, and tbh, im not all that interested in black guys anymore after my experiences, and it severely undercuts my dating pool as a black woman.

A musician i know is with a Virgo woman, he’s one of the most loving and faithful partners and fathers I know …. Mad about his woman and two kids.

Sun, Moon, Mercury Sag.

Obviously they’re not all cheaters even if the one you know is.

Posted by mjmotr1

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by mjmotr1
@dilettante @saggurl88
You guys are right. Sheesh glad I dodge that bullet.
I'm not sure how he was dodging a relationship when he got into a two-year relationship, and now he's in a one-year relationship going on two.
Idk if there's a redemption for him, but he is fun to hang out with. I don't think I'll ever see him as boyfriend material. If a fwb relationship is in the future for us, then so be it.

But it was his choice without any predetermined statuses. There has to be an air of freedom for us to commit.
I seriously think you being too pure was a major setback in his mind. Like whether he was into you or not, he would be stuck with you because he took it.
Sag are pretty responsible with this type of thing.

click to expand

2024 update!:

He reached out to me a couple of months ago, asking if I would like to go to another concert with him. Mind you, he is still with the last white woman that I saw him with on socials two weeks after the last EDM concert. I tried to search him on FB to see if he was still with the woman - he was unsearchable! Then I remembered her and I had mutual friends so I searched her. They are actually engaged!

Not new to polyamory because I was in the BDSM life style for a while, I messaged: Sure, if your girlfriend is okay with it?

(Purposely downplaying the significance of their relationship to see if he would correct me. Spoiler: he did not)

He responded: Well she's the one who flaked on me *shrugs shoulders emoji*

I did not reply after that but he sent me a private video of him from the concert.

He is a cheating asshole, and tbh, im not all that interested in black guys anymore after my experiences, and it severely undercuts my dating pool as a black woman.

click to expand

Join the Club

Posted by Saturn_Returns
This is still going on SEVEN YEARS LATER?!

He's a bloody Sag, what did you expect? Sag men are shameless hoes.

Move on, FFS...

She did move on.

He contacted her.

She tested him.

He failed.

She updated us.



I for one appreciate the updates that we get here.

It lets me know if people can change.

Posted by Saturn_Returns

Posted by DMV

Posted by Saturn_Returns
This is still going on SEVEN YEARS LATER?!
He's a bloody Sag, what did you expect? Sag men are shameless hoes.
Move on, FFS...

She did move on.

He contacted her.

She tested him.

He failed.

She updated us.



I for one appreciate the updates that we get here.

It lets me know if people can change.
click to expand

And thank you for reminding us that you're full of shit... as always.

Go and get triggered over something else.

Ciao!

click to expand

Seems like you’re the triggered one.

Posted by DMV

Posted by Saturn_Returns

Posted by DMV

Posted by Saturn_Returns
This is still going on SEVEN YEARS LATER?!
He's a bloody Sag, what did you expect? Sag men are shameless hoes.
Move on, FFS...

She did move on.

He contacted her.

She tested him.

He failed.

She updated us.


I for one appreciate the updates that we get here.
It lets me know if people can change.
click to expand

And thank you for reminding us that you're full of shit... as always.
Go and get triggered over something else.
Ciao!

click to expand

Seems like you’re the triggered one.

click to expand

I’ve never seen you triggered