apal1
@apal1
7 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 33 · Topics: 4
Any Scorpio Guys who can offer advice?
***** He asked if id like to have another man have sex with me whilst he was there, and imagine how amazing that would feel for me........ he watches porn where there are more than one man with a woman or 2 men/2 women swingers which he opened up and told me into the relationship, obviously from his festival antics this wasn't a surprise to me
Sigh this was so enjoying to read I want a good romance but a solid one though none of this back and forth business. Sounds like he is in a lets see where it goes mode. He probably does care for you but he still sounds like an opportunist so be careful. I'd say don't have an expectations because it sounds like This time he is hiding his intentions but it might be different when you meet up.
Sorry I know important not a Scorpio guy
Thanks for replying!
When I saw him a couple of days ago in the shops I did a quick hey, smile and move on. When I'd messaged him to say it was nice to see him he said he was really upset that I had ignored him as he was going to stop and chat. I was mortified that i'd upset him..... again! but after he had said he didn't want the FWB and i'd heard nothing I took it it might have been uncomfortable for him so did the quick acknowledgement and carried on, he also had his children with him who i've never met before so all round thought it was the right thing to do.
He has basically in text said he wants to f*** me quite a few times over the last 2 days and constantly asks for pictures, not rude pictures just pictures of me (face, you know just the every day ones). I asked him last night (via text) how come he had done a 360 and now wants to meet up when it was a point blank no last time and hes just said lets not analyse it just meet me next week. So god knows where hes at, he was so closed down with his feelings and emotions when we first met, then he came out of his shell, obviously now hes back in it, may be coming round maybe not 🙂
When I saw him a couple of days ago in the shops I did a quick hey, smile and move on. When I'd messaged him to say it was nice to see him he said he was really upset that I had ignored him as he was going to stop and chat. I was mortified that i'd upset him..... again! but after he had said he didn't want the FWB and i'd heard nothing I took it it might have been uncomfortable for him so did the quick acknowledgement and carried on, he also had his children with him who i've never met before so all round thought it was the right thing to do.
He has basically in text said he wants to f*** me quite a few times over the last 2 days and constantly asks for pictures, not rude pictures just pictures of me (face, you know just the every day ones). I asked him last night (via text) how come he had done a 360 and now wants to meet up when it was a point blank no last time and hes just said lets not analyse it just meet me next week. So god knows where hes at, he was so closed down with his feelings and emotions when we first met, then he came out of his shell, obviously now hes back in it, may be coming round maybe not 🙂
@La_Dolce_Vita_Scorpio
I've been reading and saw that, got excited but just hoping to hell I might be able to win him round!!!xx
I've been reading and saw that, got excited but just hoping to hell I might be able to win him round!!!xx
Thank you, Im going to go in with it in mind it will be a one over night stay then nothing......... as you say to spare my feelings xx
I do see that, he seems to find it easy to randomly sleep with others although at times I have wondered if there has been a little made up stuff in there??
One of the points the time we met up (after the break up) was he told me he couldn't keep up with the amount of sex I wanted and I feel this may have made him feel a little inadequate at the time due to how high sex drive he has. Does this sound like it could have played a part? xx
One of the points the time we met up (after the break up) was he told me he couldn't keep up with the amount of sex I wanted and I feel this may have made him feel a little inadequate at the time due to how high sex drive he has. Does this sound like it could have played a part? xx
No Scoprio sun struggling with sexual frequency and stamina? Na, don't add up astrologically speaking. But a possibility if he's looking for Nirvana !
We mainly met on a weekend (due to kids) and he is a heavy party animal - drink & D....... so his hangovers were pretty intense sometimes which will have had an effect on his stamina maybe. He could wake up 3 times through the night but then me waking up 3 times around those seemed to be a bit too much with the before bed and morning sex too....... which is when I started wondering about the truth in his sexual antics haha xx
We mainly met on a weekend (due to kids) and he is a heavy party animal - drink & D....... so his hangovers were pretty intense sometimes which will have had an effect on his stamina maybe. He could wake up 3 times through the night but then me waking up 3 times around those seemed to be a bit too much with the before bed and morning sex too....... which is when I started wondering about the truth in his sexual antics haha xx
The way I see practical life is you got to protect your heart first, if you are in pain no one but you will understand the intensity.
I am still learning to do this myself, on paper I have it all figured out, you know.
Just go in, have a good time and don't broach the subject yourself, Scoprio sun love to talk About shit when they are comfy. Just do that, let him feel comfy and thinking, he will speak.
Do you know his other chart details?
Its the reason why I messed things up in the first place due to how broken and protected I was from my previous relationship so I do understand.
Im going to go with no expectations, talk about nothing to do with "us" and just enjoy seeing him in the hope that both of us may realise we could give it another go........ or not
I don't know his other chart details xx
I am still learning to do this myself, on paper I have it all figured out, you know.
Just go in, have a good time and don't broach the subject yourself, Scoprio sun love to talk About shit when they are comfy. Just do that, let him feel comfy and thinking, he will speak.
Do you know his other chart details?
Its the reason why I messed things up in the first place due to how broken and protected I was from my previous relationship so I do understand.
Im going to go with no expectations, talk about nothing to do with "us" and just enjoy seeing him in the hope that both of us may realise we could give it another go........ or not
I don't know his other chart details xx
Thanks @La_Dolce_Vita_Scorpio
The heavy weekends do bother me just due to caring about him and the absolute crash the day after where he needs constant reassurance, cuddling etc. he doesn't do either when he has the kids just lets loose on the weekends when he doesnt but still!
I am a believer if its meant to be it will be and if its not he just isn't the right one for me, when we were seeing each other he had started to calm it all down (not due to me saying anything) he just did with the weekend antics but who knows.
Thanks for commenting and take care xx
The heavy weekends do bother me just due to caring about him and the absolute crash the day after where he needs constant reassurance, cuddling etc. he doesn't do either when he has the kids just lets loose on the weekends when he doesnt but still!
I am a believer if its meant to be it will be and if its not he just isn't the right one for me, when we were seeing each other he had started to calm it all down (not due to me saying anything) he just did with the weekend antics but who knows.
Thanks for commenting and take care xx
I'm a Scorpio guy. My thoughts will be sporadic on this. Believe him when he says he's just using you for sex. That said...
Good news! He's being honest with you. We are a very secretive sign, so this is a sign of respect. However, take this with a grain of salt. On one hand, yes, he has feelings for you. Sex = feelings for Scorpios, and he cares for you on two fronts: 1) to repeatedly have sex with you, and 2 ) to tell you the realities of the situation. He's trying to save you from getting hurt.
On the other hand, he's being honest out of self-interest and self-preservation. He already told you that he can't be the man that you want him to be (faithful, monogamous). Being honest allows him to feel justified in having sex with you without being faithful. You can't blame him if he's sleeping around because he told you so, and you still hook up with him anyway. Note: I'm not saying that he IS sleeping around, just that nothing is stopping him, and you know his history.
Are you a drop in sex buddy? Yes.
Is there a chance for more? You tell me. So the sex is great... what else do you have in common? What else do you do together? You have great sexual chemistry, but you don't speak of any other compatibility. If you ask me, based on the limited info, I don't see you guys progressing past this point. This seems to be the crux of your desire... the forbidden, star-crossed, weekend lovers. It's almost like becoming official would destroy the fantasy.
Also, as mentioned before, kids + alcohol + drugs (?) = potentially volatile mix there. Play with Scorpio venom, and you're going to get intoxicated :p
Good news! He's being honest with you. We are a very secretive sign, so this is a sign of respect. However, take this with a grain of salt. On one hand, yes, he has feelings for you. Sex = feelings for Scorpios, and he cares for you on two fronts: 1) to repeatedly have sex with you, and 2 ) to tell you the realities of the situation. He's trying to save you from getting hurt.
On the other hand, he's being honest out of self-interest and self-preservation. He already told you that he can't be the man that you want him to be (faithful, monogamous). Being honest allows him to feel justified in having sex with you without being faithful. You can't blame him if he's sleeping around because he told you so, and you still hook up with him anyway. Note: I'm not saying that he IS sleeping around, just that nothing is stopping him, and you know his history.
Are you a drop in sex buddy? Yes.
Is there a chance for more? You tell me. So the sex is great... what else do you have in common? What else do you do together? You have great sexual chemistry, but you don't speak of any other compatibility. If you ask me, based on the limited info, I don't see you guys progressing past this point. This seems to be the crux of your desire... the forbidden, star-crossed, weekend lovers. It's almost like becoming official would destroy the fantasy.
Also, as mentioned before, kids + alcohol + drugs (?) = potentially volatile mix there. Play with Scorpio venom, and you're going to get intoxicated :p
You like this shit?
@venomouse thanks for the reply it's really interesting reading and really like getting an insight!
When we were officially seeing each other we got along well, went out, did all the couple things, he took me all over or we stayed in etc. The reason he told me he wasn't enough for me or he couldn't be the person I wanted him to be was around my text regarding him not making the effort to travel to me as appose to me going to him all the time..... it also escalated due to me wanting him to attend something with me that he didn't really want to do..... he said he would come but if I could find someone else to go with (a friend) that would be better but if not he would go but wouldn't really enjoy it. I stupidly (I can see now) got a bit pissed off with that as I said I had done things and gone places with him that I maybe didn't enjoy that much but because he wanted to do it I went along....... I said this was compromise in a relationship (stupid I know but my past blah blah blah, I took to as not a good sign)and if he couldn't compromise what was the point.
So we do get along, when I asked the 1st time we met for sex after our split and I had apologised if we could try again he said he needed time to think about it and because he took longer than I wanted to think about it I sent a text (out of being impatient) saying if he had to think about it this long it isn't something he must want!
Then we are at the situation we are at now, the 2nd time meeting up where he said we couldn't be friends with benefits and then him doing a 360 on that decision and wanting to meet next week.
I just think if he can sleep around and do as he wants, why bother with me when he knows I've told him about the feelings I have for him and now not wanting to be a FB....... if he doesn't want to hurt me why bother having sex with me and churning all of that up....... 😊
When we were officially seeing each other we got along well, went out, did all the couple things, he took me all over or we stayed in etc. The reason he told me he wasn't enough for me or he couldn't be the person I wanted him to be was around my text regarding him not making the effort to travel to me as appose to me going to him all the time..... it also escalated due to me wanting him to attend something with me that he didn't really want to do..... he said he would come but if I could find someone else to go with (a friend) that would be better but if not he would go but wouldn't really enjoy it. I stupidly (I can see now) got a bit pissed off with that as I said I had done things and gone places with him that I maybe didn't enjoy that much but because he wanted to do it I went along....... I said this was compromise in a relationship (stupid I know but my past blah blah blah, I took to as not a good sign)and if he couldn't compromise what was the point.
So we do get along, when I asked the 1st time we met for sex after our split and I had apologised if we could try again he said he needed time to think about it and because he took longer than I wanted to think about it I sent a text (out of being impatient) saying if he had to think about it this long it isn't something he must want!
Then we are at the situation we are at now, the 2nd time meeting up where he said we couldn't be friends with benefits and then him doing a 360 on that decision and wanting to meet next week.
I just think if he can sleep around and do as he wants, why bother with me when he knows I've told him about the feelings I have for him and now not wanting to be a FB....... if he doesn't want to hurt me why bother having sex with me and churning all of that up....... 😊
@guardianAnu not sure what the butter word was spell check changed it 🤣
has he said he loves you and desires you and spends more time with you than the othrs? does things that are dumber than bricks that he'd NEVER do for anyone else?
he sounds like he does not want to be faithful and monogamous to you alone.
but OK with u being a lover on the side for a weekend fling.
he sounds like he does not want to be faithful and monogamous to you alone.
but OK with u being a lover on the side for a weekend fling.
@lisabeethur8 he did when we were seeing each other and we were together officially....... we split quite a few months ago and it's this after thing really that I'm wondering about....... when I asked if we could try again and it was taking him (in my eyes) too long to decide he said he was having to think about it due to my behaviour (via text with the making an effort etc) I think he let his guard down, threw himself into it (unexpectedly for him) and when I've screwed up, retreated and is now in defence mode—? Maybe or I could be talking crap 🤣 who knows
@apal1
You're welcome. Whenever I hear a story like this, I consider that what I'm hearing is not the whole truth. In your case, what's important is that what you're telling us is the truth as you see it:
He didn't make an effort to see you, despite you making an effort to see him via a 30 min drive (and he still doesn't drive to you). You wanted him to do something that he blatantly didn't want to do, despite you doing things that you didn't want to do.
First, it is NOT stupid for you to get pissed about equal effort in a relationship. Relationships are about compromise. You are within your right as a human being to voice when your needs aren't being met. That said, be careful when doing something and expecting (or hoping) the other person will do the same in return. Regardless of how deeply he feels for you, you seem to be putting in more effort to this relationship than he is, and this does not make you feel good. I know you had a bad relationship prior to this, and that you are willing to accept fault in order to make this new relationship work... but be careful with that line of thinking.
"I just think if he can sleep around and do as he wants, why bother with me when he knows I've told him about the feelings I have for him and now not wanting to be a FB....... if he doesn't want to hurt me why bother having sex with me and churning all of that up....... 😊"
Because you enable his behavior. You apologize for getting mad, when you don't really need to. You have sex with him when he tells you that he's using you for sex. The sex is good, and he likes the intensity of adoration that you show him. Being his FB gives him all the benefits of a relationship without the responsibility (driving to you, doing things that you want to do). And if you get mad at this point, he can simply tell you "but I told you so."
I'm not trying to make you feel bad, I'm just telling you to be careful. I feel that you are setting yourself up for another heartbreak. Good luck.
You're welcome. Whenever I hear a story like this, I consider that what I'm hearing is not the whole truth. In your case, what's important is that what you're telling us is the truth as you see it:
He didn't make an effort to see you, despite you making an effort to see him via a 30 min drive (and he still doesn't drive to you). You wanted him to do something that he blatantly didn't want to do, despite you doing things that you didn't want to do.
First, it is NOT stupid for you to get pissed about equal effort in a relationship. Relationships are about compromise. You are within your right as a human being to voice when your needs aren't being met. That said, be careful when doing something and expecting (or hoping) the other person will do the same in return. Regardless of how deeply he feels for you, you seem to be putting in more effort to this relationship than he is, and this does not make you feel good. I know you had a bad relationship prior to this, and that you are willing to accept fault in order to make this new relationship work... but be careful with that line of thinking.
"I just think if he can sleep around and do as he wants, why bother with me when he knows I've told him about the feelings I have for him and now not wanting to be a FB....... if he doesn't want to hurt me why bother having sex with me and churning all of that up....... 😊"
Because you enable his behavior. You apologize for getting mad, when you don't really need to. You have sex with him when he tells you that he's using you for sex. The sex is good, and he likes the intensity of adoration that you show him. Being his FB gives him all the benefits of a relationship without the responsibility (driving to you, doing things that you want to do). And if you get mad at this point, he can simply tell you "but I told you so."
I'm not trying to make you feel bad, I'm just telling you to be careful. I feel that you are setting yourself up for another heartbreak. Good luck.
Posted by Venomouse
@apal1
You're welcome. Whenever I hear a story like this, I consider that what I'm hearing is not the whole truth. In your case, what's important is that what you're telling us is the truth as you see it:
He didn't make an effort to see you, despite you making an effort to see him via a 30 min drive (and he still doesn't drive to you). You wanted him to do something that he blatantly didn't want to do, despite you doing things that you didn't want to do.
First, it is NOT stupid for you to get pissed about equal effort in a relationship. Relationships are about compromise. You are within your right as a human being to voice when your needs aren't being met. That said, be careful when doing something and expecting (or hoping) the other person will do the same in return. Regardless of how deeply he feels for you, you seem to be putting in more effort to this relationship than he is, and this does not make you feel good. I know you had a bad relationship prior to this, and that you are willing to accept fault in order to make this new relationship work... but be careful with that line of thinking.
"I just think if he can sleep around and do as he wants, why bother with me when he knows I've told him about the feelings I have for him and now not wanting to be a FB....... if he doesn't want to hurt me why bother having sex with me and churning all of that up....... 😊"
Because you enable his behavior. You apologize for getting mad, when you don't really need to. You have sex with him when he tells you that he's using you for sex. The sex is good, and he likes the intensity of adoration that you show him. Being his FB gives him all the benefits of a relationship without the responsibility (driving to you, doing things that you want to do). And if you get mad at this point, he can simply tell you "but I told you so."
I'm not trying to make you feel bad, I'm just telling you to be careful. I feel that you are setting yourself up for another heartbreak. Good luck.
Thanks for taking the time to reply!
You are right and it is a risk I run........ not having an equal relationship (maybe ever) the bad relationship I had was very emotionally and mentally abusive (severely apparently) and because of how extreme it was apparently I will enter another relationship where I could not be treated as an equal and I wouldn't see it as others would as it wasn't as extreme as what I've already experienced (if you get what I mean 😊)
That's why having something like this (and comments from others) is really helpful and makes me stop to think. Something which stands out to others which isn't right when voiced does help me see a bigger picture and validate my thoughts and feelings are ok (not being happy with the
Travelling etc) 😊
Thanks 😊
So I am still going back and forth with this Scorpio guy (its been a year and half now) but there have been a few changes which have thrown me a little!!!
I didn't see him for a little while and when he got in touch I told him I could no longer be what he wanted me to be (a mess around basically) I wanted a relationship or nothing, I asked him if he wanted me to come round for a chat and I would either leave as his partner or it would be bye bye and the end of it. He said via text to stop upsetting him and went on to talk about something else, I said if he was getting upset there must be something there which he said there was but he could not commit to me at the moment as he had too much sh£t going on. I said that was fine, I understood (as he had told me the previous week the absolute sh $ t that was going on with his ex partner/child) so I said I would carry on as we were but with a time limit on it until he gets sorted. That was a few weeks ago now, last weekend whilst he was drunk he told me he loved me, told me i was perfect and he wanted to be married to me by next year (I took all of this with a pinch of salt) and asked him the next day if he remembered what he had said and he said no. Last night I was out, messaged him and told him I was coming to his, he was also out, left his friends and came straight back. He again told me that he loved me, thinks about me all the time, he misses me, doesn't want anyone else to be with me etc This morning (so no longer drunk) told me he loves me, asked if I'd have a child with him and get married, eh—?. Yet later on in the morning, he gave me the reasons why we couldn't have a relationship (I'd annoy him basically, its very trivial petty stuff which he seems to pick at but must seem to be big deals for him, he is very moody and grumpy especially after a night out!) Then he dropped me at home and within 3minutes rung to say he was sorry for being so grumpy on the way home, he shouldn't act like that.
Since sending the message about having a relationship or leaving I never mention this to him, I just see him, we go out, chat, etc but I never bring it up as I don't want to go on, yet he does bring it up.... a lot
What is going on with this guy? I can't decide if he really is just messing me around or if hes having a personal battle with himself about the pros and cons of a relationship.......... its been such a long time and I just find it so hard to walk away from this as it seems so unfinished but theres no way I want it to go on like this into the new year..... that's my time limit on it which i haven't told him yet. @venomouse any thoughts?
I didn't see him for a little while and when he got in touch I told him I could no longer be what he wanted me to be (a mess around basically) I wanted a relationship or nothing, I asked him if he wanted me to come round for a chat and I would either leave as his partner or it would be bye bye and the end of it. He said via text to stop upsetting him and went on to talk about something else, I said if he was getting upset there must be something there which he said there was but he could not commit to me at the moment as he had too much sh£t going on. I said that was fine, I understood (as he had told me the previous week the absolute sh $ t that was going on with his ex partner/child) so I said I would carry on as we were but with a time limit on it until he gets sorted. That was a few weeks ago now, last weekend whilst he was drunk he told me he loved me, told me i was perfect and he wanted to be married to me by next year (I took all of this with a pinch of salt) and asked him the next day if he remembered what he had said and he said no. Last night I was out, messaged him and told him I was coming to his, he was also out, left his friends and came straight back. He again told me that he loved me, thinks about me all the time, he misses me, doesn't want anyone else to be with me etc This morning (so no longer drunk) told me he loves me, asked if I'd have a child with him and get married, eh—?. Yet later on in the morning, he gave me the reasons why we couldn't have a relationship (I'd annoy him basically, its very trivial petty stuff which he seems to pick at but must seem to be big deals for him, he is very moody and grumpy especially after a night out!) Then he dropped me at home and within 3minutes rung to say he was sorry for being so grumpy on the way home, he shouldn't act like that.
Since sending the message about having a relationship or leaving I never mention this to him, I just see him, we go out, chat, etc but I never bring it up as I don't want to go on, yet he does bring it up.... a lot
What is going on with this guy? I can't decide if he really is just messing me around or if hes having a personal battle with himself about the pros and cons of a relationship.......... its been such a long time and I just find it so hard to walk away from this as it seems so unfinished but theres no way I want it to go on like this into the new year..... that's my time limit on it which i haven't told him yet. @venomouse any thoughts?
Posted by apal1
@lisabeethur8 he did when we were seeing each other and we were together officially....... we split quite a few months ago and it's this after thing really that I'm wondering about....... when I asked if we could try again and it was taking him (in my eyes) too long to decide he said he was having to think about it due to my behaviour (via text with the making an effort etc) I think he let his guard down, threw himself into it (unexpectedly for him) and when I've screwed up, retreated and is now in defence mode—? Maybe or I could be talking crap 🤣 who knows
it's weird..but every scorpio guy is different..
i just only know, that if he loves you he will make it happen.
OP,
I've just read all of this post. I didn't read it when it first started about three months ago but I gathered there may have been an update which bumped the post.
I have to say, it was of no surprise to me that you are back here reporting that you're still wasting your time with this guy.
Honestly, go back over your post. Read it. I mean REALLY read it. Then read it again.
If you were to describe the relationship you want, would it look like what you have now?
I doubt it would.
Fucked up people tend to attract fucked up people.
People who are not clear with what they want tend to attract people who are also not clear with what they want.
The result is the mess you are currently in. Yet, for some reason I cannot fathom, you STILL want a 'relationship' with this person. Well, you DO have a relationship with this person. You have exactly that. This is the 'relationship' he is offering you.
It consists of:
him calling the shots. Remember how he NEVER EVER came to yours to meet up? Well that's because he couldn't be arsed and, frankly, he didn't need to as you'd always do the running.
manipulating you on a constant basis. This guy uses words such as telling you he loves you then conveniently forgetting he said it just to keep you tied on his leash you d on see he has on you. The first time you raised a concern in your relationship he decided he wasn't the man for you as he couldn't give you what you wanted. All bollocks. All designed to turn your valid points around so it's not his fault/problem.
This guy doesn't care for you at all. He barely cares for himself. Stop making excuses for this person's poor behaviour. He doesn't sound like a good quality man. You do want a good quality man, don't you? Of course you do. You just need to wake up so you can see it.
You're spending far too much time trying to find out what he wants and zero time on yourself about what you want. Are you in a good position right now to have a relationship with someone? It sounds like you need to take time out to resolve some things from your past. There's no need to jump right into another hot ball of mess. Don't worry, with about eight billion people on the planet there's not going to be a penis shortage anytime soon!
Personally, if I was looking for a serious relationship and was online dating, then I can tell you now that this guy would have been binned at email/text stage. I would never have wasted my time meeting up with him in person. Why? Because he was already telling you who he is and what he was looking for when he was texting you stories about shagging random women and fucking some guys wife at the festival he was at. Good for him, he can do what he wants BUT... Did this guy sound like he was looking for a relationship or that he wanted to settle down anytime soon?
No, he did not.
You could have saved yourself the grief of the last 18 months by saying thanks but no thanks, and then spending your valuable time being available for someone who IS going to match what you're looking for.
I've just read all of this post. I didn't read it when it first started about three months ago but I gathered there may have been an update which bumped the post.
I have to say, it was of no surprise to me that you are back here reporting that you're still wasting your time with this guy.
Honestly, go back over your post. Read it. I mean REALLY read it. Then read it again.
If you were to describe the relationship you want, would it look like what you have now?
I doubt it would.
Fucked up people tend to attract fucked up people.
People who are not clear with what they want tend to attract people who are also not clear with what they want.
The result is the mess you are currently in. Yet, for some reason I cannot fathom, you STILL want a 'relationship' with this person. Well, you DO have a relationship with this person. You have exactly that. This is the 'relationship' he is offering you.
It consists of:
him calling the shots. Remember how he NEVER EVER came to yours to meet up? Well that's because he couldn't be arsed and, frankly, he didn't need to as you'd always do the running.
manipulating you on a constant basis. This guy uses words such as telling you he loves you then conveniently forgetting he said it just to keep you tied on his leash you d on see he has on you. The first time you raised a concern in your relationship he decided he wasn't the man for you as he couldn't give you what you wanted. All bollocks. All designed to turn your valid points around so it's not his fault/problem.
This guy doesn't care for you at all. He barely cares for himself. Stop making excuses for this person's poor behaviour. He doesn't sound like a good quality man. You do want a good quality man, don't you? Of course you do. You just need to wake up so you can see it.
You're spending far too much time trying to find out what he wants and zero time on yourself about what you want. Are you in a good position right now to have a relationship with someone? It sounds like you need to take time out to resolve some things from your past. There's no need to jump right into another hot ball of mess. Don't worry, with about eight billion people on the planet there's not going to be a penis shortage anytime soon!
Personally, if I was looking for a serious relationship and was online dating, then I can tell you now that this guy would have been binned at email/text stage. I would never have wasted my time meeting up with him in person. Why? Because he was already telling you who he is and what he was looking for when he was texting you stories about shagging random women and fucking some guys wife at the festival he was at. Good for him, he can do what he wants BUT... Did this guy sound like he was looking for a relationship or that he wanted to settle down anytime soon?
No, he did not.
You could have saved yourself the grief of the last 18 months by saying thanks but no thanks, and then spending your valuable time being available for someone who IS going to match what you're looking for.
Posted by AgentP911
OP,
I've just read all of this post. I didn't read it when it first started about three months ago but I gathered there may have been an update which bumped the post.
Thanks for taking the time to read the WHOLE post I feel like I owe you those hours of your life back somehow 😂
Everything you have said trust me I think, I really do, if this was a friend telling me this i know exactly what i would say, yet havent taken my own advice and right at the start I nearly didnt meet him due to it but a circumstance within my family caused a lot of emotional pain and worry (which I told him about) as I was supposed to be going on a first date with him that night, he told me to pack a bag, he didn't care what I looked like (I was in a state it was my dad who was ill) and to go to him for the weekend and that's what I did and how it all got rolling 🙄 he really was so great that weekend blah blah blah it made me see that caring, lovely side (which he does have) but the rest of it 🙄
I do wonder if I'm just bouncing back and forth due to no one else being there and it's not doing any harm so I'm just doing it until Mr right does come along......... it's these last few times I've seen him that caused me confusion hence the post 😊
Posted by Arielle83
He just wants to fuvk and have kinky sex whenever he can.
He’s not going to settle for just one pussy that holds herself back from experimenting
Haha the only experimenting Id refuse is swinging....... that's just a game for others not me and he's since said he can't stand the thought of someone else with me now
Posted by Arielle83Posted by apal1Posted by Arielle83
He just wants to fuvk and have kinky sex whenever he can.
He’s not going to settle for just one pussy that holds herself back from experimenting
Haha the only experimenting Id refuse is swinging....... that's just a game for others not me and he's since said he can't stand the thought of someone else with me now
Ya but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to sleep around.click to expand
And he did, previously, since this started back up again, he hasn't........ yet 😂 who knows what goes on in that strange mind hey but life's life and this morning's a new day with a new outlook on it all. Thanks for commenting on the post, it all is appreciated 😊
Posted by apal1Posted by AgentP911
OP,
I've just read all of this post. I didn't read it when it first started about three months ago but I gathered there may have been an update which bumped the post.
Thanks for taking the time to read the WHOLE post I feel like I owe you those hours of your life back somehow 😂
Everything you have said trust me I think, I really do, if this was a friend telling me this i know exactly what i would say, yet havent taken my own advice and right at the start I nearly didnt meet him due to it but a circumstance within my family caused a lot of emotional pain and worry (which I told him about) as I was supposed to be going on a first date with him that night, he told me to pack a bag, he didn't care what I looked like (I was in a state it was my dad who was ill) and to go to him for the weekend and that's what I did and how it all got rolling 🙄 he really was so great that weekend blah blah blah it made me see that caring, lovely side (which he does have) but the rest of it 🙄
I do wonder if I'm just bouncing back and forth due to no one else being there and it's not doing any harm so I'm just doing it until Mr right does come along......... it's these last few times I've seen him that caused me confusion hence the post 😊
click to expand
It's OK, I'm a quick reader! 😁
I think him offering you to go to his for the weekend was because he wanted sex. He didn't care what you looked like or what state you were in. Now that may seem a kind thing to do but who offers someone they have never met to come and stay for weekend? He was looking for sex. I'm not sure if you had sex with him that weekend but he has nothing to lose by inviting you. On the other side of thd argument, who goes to the home of a man they've never met with the intention to stay the weekend? It's all a bit odd and it is not the behaviour of two people looking to date with a view to having a relationship.
The other thing you mention is bouncing around with him because there's no one else to be with at the moment. You think there's no harm being done but I epuld whole heartedly disagree with you there. You're bouncing around with someone who isn't giving you what you want. He's giving you a headache because you're trying to figure out what he is doing and saying and what he wants etc when the answer is very clear cut. The answer is simply that he's not giving you what you want. All this is doing is zapping your energy and chipping away at your self esteem. He's not going to give you what you want. He's not going to be what you want him to be. Stop waiting. Stop 'seeing how it goes' because you already knows it's going nowhere. I'm sorry but he's not going to compromise on his life style choice for you.
The other concerning thing is that you think or hope that while you're bouncing around aimlessly with this fella that Mr Right is going to come along. Really? To sweep you off your feet and tell you all is well? Would you even know Mr Right if he even did come along? You're so engrossed in this current guy that you're not available for anyone else. Physically, mentally or emotionally. Would a decent guy, a Mr Right, even get involved with you if you're bouncing with someone else? While you're with someone else, you're further away from the relationship and petson you want to be with but don't take my word for it.
Read these two articles, part one and part two, it won't take long but they are great for getting my point across...
https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner.html
https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner-part-2.html
Read these two articles, part one and part two, it won't take long but they are great for getting my point across...
https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner.html
https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner-part-2.html
The thing that is making me smile whilst reading your comments is everything you say is exactly what I would say and what I say to myself, the part about bouncing back and forth with him until something better comes along...... I have been asked out on dates before and left it due to this but with a better mental attitude this morning this will no longer happen and if I did accept a date with someone else this would immediately stop as Im in no way a person who would do 2 things at once, its just not me. I think this recent revelation with him telling me he loves me etc has been a lightbulb moment that he just wants to trap me into believing he really does love me but isn't in the right place just to keep me hanging and it hasn't worked, infact it has done the opposite and made me realise he really doesn't care..... along with the comments on here, I think i just needed strangers opinions as i dont want to discuss this with anyone who knows me (as it really is a pathetic position to be in and I wouldn't want anyone I know to see me as the weak person i've been with it all) but i always believe things happen for a reason and these things are life experiences that make us stronger. I will read the 2 articles so thanks for the links!
https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner.html
https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner-part-2.html
The thing that is making me smile whilst reading your comments is everything you say is exactly what I would say and what I say to myself, the part about bouncing back and forth with him until something better comes along...... I have been asked out on dates before and left it due to this but with a better mental attitude this morning this will no longer happen and if I did accept a date with someone else this would immediately stop as Im in no way a person who would do 2 things at once, its just not me. I think this recent revelation with him telling me he loves me etc has been a lightbulb moment that he just wants to trap me into believing he really does love me but isn't in the right place just to keep me hanging and it hasn't worked, infact it has done the opposite and made me realise he really doesn't care..... along with the comments on here, I think i just needed strangers opinions as i dont want to discuss this with anyone who knows me (as it really is a pathetic position to be in and I wouldn't want anyone I know to see me as the weak person i've been with it all) but i always believe things happen for a reason and these things are life experiences that make us stronger. I will read the 2 articles so thanks for the links!
Posted by apal1
Read these two articles, part one and part two, it won't take long but they are great for getting my point across...
https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner.html
https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner-part-2.html
The thing that is making me smile whilst reading your comments is everything you say is exactly what I would say and what I say to myself, the part about bouncing back and forth with him until something better comes along...... I have been asked out on dates before and left it due to this but with a better mental attitude this morning this will no longer happen and if I did accept a date with someone else this would immediately stop as Im in no way a person who would do 2 things at once, its just not me. I think this recent revelation with him telling me he loves me etc has been a lightbulb moment that he just wants to trap me into believing he really does love me but isn't in the right place just to keep me hanging and it hasn't worked, infact it has done the opposite and made me realise he really doesn't care..... along with the comments on here, I think i just needed strangers opinions as i dont want to discuss this with anyone who knows me (as it really is a pathetic position to be in and I wouldn't want anyone I know to see me as the weak person i've been with it all) but i always believe things happen for a reason and these things are life experiences that make us stronger. I will read the 2 articles so thanks for the links!
You're welcome. We've all had our own shit to deal with at some point in time and I'm sure there's more shit to deal with in time!
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Hopeful for comments 😉