sadgemini
@sadgemini
6 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 55 · Topics: 5
Casual situationship w/ Scorpio
Ask her wtf she wants.
Don't play with words, don't hesitate...be direct and ask her what's her problem?
If she wants occasionally to be fuck buddies but you always make it clear you want more.. It's safe to say she doesn't really care about you and your feelings.
We can all agree that she's awful but you're letting her treat you as such...staying over.. Going for brunch.. 💣
Don't play with words, don't hesitate...be direct and ask her what's her problem?
If she wants occasionally to be fuck buddies but you always make it clear you want more.. It's safe to say she doesn't really care about you and your feelings.
We can all agree that she's awful but you're letting her treat you as such...staying over.. Going for brunch.. 💣
Posted by Basorexia
Ask her wtf she wants.
Don't play with words, don't hesitate...be direct and ask her what's her problem?
If she wants occasionally to be fuck buddies but you always make it clear you want more.. It's safe to say she doesn't really care about you and your feelings.
We can all agree that she's awful but you're letting her treat you as such...staying over.. Going for brunch.. 💣
Yeah, I guess it felt nearly inevitable and I knew I had it coming when I agreed to see her. That’s why I was looking for some outsider advice on whether or not to agree seeing her again. I’ll likely not be hanging out with her again anytime in the near future.
Posted by MareInfame
I remember you posting about her a while back.
It seems like she compartmentalizes her life a bit, or like she doesn’t have a hard time emotionally disconnecting IF she controls things to a certain level.
I think she loves you, in her own way, and maybe not the way you would like it to be portrayed.
She seems highly discouraging of any type of deep commitment. Perhaps she doesn’t allow herself to get deep with you because she still hasn’t forgotten the hurt of what happened while you two were in a relationship. Her way of “letting that go” is probably by seeing that being that vulnerable with you, didn’t work out and you two aren’t compatible at that level, so she is only sharing parts of herself with you that are compatible with you.
She loves you, but doesn’t want to be that vulnerable with you again. So, she expresses everything else; she still loves to be with you and spend time with you, she still gets really turned on by you, she cherished the past and longevity of your connection. She just doesn’t want any drama.
She’s mentioned before that she doesn’t feel capable of loving someone seriously. Verbatim, said to me “if I’m rejecting you, I’m rejecting everyone.” She has some deep seeded fears of intimacy and doesn’t believe she has the ability to be with someone.
Which is sad for her, I mean, I understand and try my best to understand her/her feelings/her past. But I know I can’t change how she feels and processes things, nor am I trying to. Only ever wanted to be there for her..... but then I think I get stung in the process.
Posted by sadgeminiPosted by Basorexia
Ask her wtf she wants.
Don't play with words, don't hesitate...be direct and ask her what's her problem?
If she wants occasionally to be fuck buddies but you always make it clear you want more.. It's safe to say she doesn't really care about you and your feelings.
We can all agree that she's awful but you're letting her treat you as such...staying over.. Going for brunch.. 💣
Yeah, I guess it felt nearly inevitable and I knew I had it coming when I agreed to see her. That’s why I was looking for some outsider advice on whether or not to agree seeing her again. I’ll likely not be hanging out with her again anytime in the near future.click to expand
If you can't just be friends.. Perhaps it's best not to.
Its easy to blame the other but if you're not standing up for yourself & demanding respect ( your feelings...) then you're kinda at fault too.
Good luck 🌻
She likes you but doesn't want a relationship for whatever reason:
- she's waiting for a different type of guy
- she's afraid
- she needs to work out some personal things
- who knows?
You're Situation
You've started out as friends (with benefits) and you've developed feelings and you want more. This is what happens. One person develops stronger feelings. I think this is the most common outcome. It is possible for both to want a relationship or for two people to be strictly casual but I don't think these two are as common.
You want more and she doesn't want to give you more. You have to decide if you can settle for this. There is a huge risk that she never wants more with you and/or finds someone else and/or ends it with you just to end it. There is that slight chance it develops into a relationship and she finally gives you a chance.
If I was in your situation I would have a tough time letting go, but I'm on the outside with more clarity. Sure I don't know all the details. But it seems that you want more and you are frustrated and left to wonder. You keep reading into things thinking that it will come. What happens if it never comes?
Think of all the available women out there who you would be compatible with and would want you as a permanent fixture in their lives. I think you need to end it and find someone who wants a relationship with you, because you are ready for one.
If you can do this you have two options:
1) Tell her you want more and wish her well.
2) Tell her you want more and ask her why she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. If she cannot give you a good enough answer then move on. Let's say she says that she's seeing a therapist to work out some issues and has decided she doesn't want to be in a formal relationship until then. She could be hung up on another guy? She might never want a relationship with any man ever for whatever reason? Why not give her a chance to explain?
I think you do need to break it off and find someone else. She needs to worry about losing you. If she's not worried then you were never hers to lose and she was never yours to lose. You have been too available for her, being her friend and lover, offering her companionship, guidance, affection, etc. The stuff relationships are made of!
If you want a relationship and she's not prepared to give you one then you need to let her go, otherwise you will never be happy.
- she's waiting for a different type of guy
- she's afraid
- she needs to work out some personal things
- who knows?
You're Situation
You've started out as friends (with benefits) and you've developed feelings and you want more. This is what happens. One person develops stronger feelings. I think this is the most common outcome. It is possible for both to want a relationship or for two people to be strictly casual but I don't think these two are as common.
You want more and she doesn't want to give you more. You have to decide if you can settle for this. There is a huge risk that she never wants more with you and/or finds someone else and/or ends it with you just to end it. There is that slight chance it develops into a relationship and she finally gives you a chance.
If I was in your situation I would have a tough time letting go, but I'm on the outside with more clarity. Sure I don't know all the details. But it seems that you want more and you are frustrated and left to wonder. You keep reading into things thinking that it will come. What happens if it never comes?
Think of all the available women out there who you would be compatible with and would want you as a permanent fixture in their lives. I think you need to end it and find someone who wants a relationship with you, because you are ready for one.
If you can do this you have two options:
1) Tell her you want more and wish her well.
2) Tell her you want more and ask her why she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. If she cannot give you a good enough answer then move on. Let's say she says that she's seeing a therapist to work out some issues and has decided she doesn't want to be in a formal relationship until then. She could be hung up on another guy? She might never want a relationship with any man ever for whatever reason? Why not give her a chance to explain?
I think you do need to break it off and find someone else. She needs to worry about losing you. If she's not worried then you were never hers to lose and she was never yours to lose. You have been too available for her, being her friend and lover, offering her companionship, guidance, affection, etc. The stuff relationships are made of!
If you want a relationship and she's not prepared to give you one then you need to let her go, otherwise you will never be happy.
Sorry this is happening to you. But she keeps telling you that she doesn't want a relationship, and it looks like you keep thinking she will change her mind.
I know it will be hard for you to let go, because you love her, but you really should. She's doing what she wants, and is honest and upfront about it.
So either have an open situationship with her or start dating someone else.
But I think you should stop thinking of her in a relationship sense, since she's told you plenty of times that she's not interested in it.
Just because she likes the sex and attention you give, doesn't mean she wants the whole package. Let her figure out what she's missing once it's gone. She needs a little dose of what it feels like when you're not giving into her and coming to her all the time.
Start dating!
I know it will be hard for you to let go, because you love her, but you really should. She's doing what she wants, and is honest and upfront about it.
So either have an open situationship with her or start dating someone else.
But I think you should stop thinking of her in a relationship sense, since she's told you plenty of times that she's not interested in it.
Just because she likes the sex and attention you give, doesn't mean she wants the whole package. Let her figure out what she's missing once it's gone. She needs a little dose of what it feels like when you're not giving into her and coming to her all the time.
Start dating!
Posted by MareInfame
Are you seeing other women or is she the only one in your life right now?
I’ve drawn the line with her when she asks if I am involved with other people. Kind of shrug it off like “why do you want to know?” Or “why does it matter?” But she knows that I am available and that there are people who want to be with me and are actively trying to get with me. She ALWAYS asks me of my involvement with people, she always had for years. She likes to keep tabs.
Part of me thinks she needs to sort herself out and she might eventually be comfortable with commitment.... but another part of me just doesn’t want to be toyed around. Bottom line, I don’t need (or necessarily want) a serious relationship right now. I just want to be cared for in a similar way, I want mutual feelings to be there. I don’t need a label.
Posted by MareInfame
Are you seeing other women or is she the only one in your life right now?
I’ve drawn the line with her when she asks if I am involved with other people. Kind of shrug it off like “why do you want to know?” Or “why does it matter?” But she knows that I am available and that there are people who want to be with me and are actively trying to get with me. She ALWAYS asks me of my involvement with people, she always had for years. She likes to keep tabs.
Part of me thinks she needs to sort herself out and she might eventually be comfortable with commitment.... but another part of me just doesn’t want to be toyed around. Bottom line, I don’t need (or necessarily want) a serious relationship right now. I just want to be cared for in a similar way, I want mutual feelings to be there. I don’t need a label.
Your not allowed to be mad at her. Be mad at yourself.
She’s made it clear from the beginning and throughout that she doesn’t want a relationship with you. If your not willing to accept that then move on and stop giving her your time, attention, and dick.
She’s made it clear from the beginning and throughout that she doesn’t want a relationship with you. If your not willing to accept that then move on and stop giving her your time, attention, and dick.
Scorpios are direct about what they want, if she's telling you she doesn't want to be in a relationship trust her word.
Posted by sadgemini
Me: Gemini Sun, Cancer Moon
Her: Scorpio Sun, Libra Moon
I’ve been on/off with a Scorpio woman for 3 years now. When we first met, we hit it off instantly and were casually “dating” (she never wanted to make it official). We have had a couple fallouts, due to her moving to a different state and then back, TWO different times - but mainly due to me being hurt by her actions and choosing to remove myself from the relationship for a period of time. We have met each other’s friends, family, etc. and I have become her “guiding light” in this world, according to her. She says I am her favorite person/“one of the best humans I’ve ever known.”
Fast forward to this past year, she was living in a different state but often comes back to her hometown (where I live). She spent nearly the entire holiday season inviting me to whatever she was doing, asking to stay over, asking me to take her to the airport, etc. She went back to her temporary home out of state. Then came February where I visited her. Things were good, she treats me as her significant other, touchy, feely around her friends, etc. Then says “even though you’re here visiting me, I just want you to know that this isn’t a relationship and I don’t want that.”
Ouch. Mainly because we were enjoying ourselves, having a good time, and I don’t think she needed to drop my feet to the ground so seriously in that moment. I’m in a point of my life where I don’t want that serious of a commitment either, as I want to focus on myself and my future. BUT I do enjoy spending my time with her. I just care about being cared for.
Didn’t talk to her for months. Now she’s back in her hometown, where I live, and she was begging me to see her. It was recently my birthday and she said she had a gift, was dying to see me, so eventually I caved.
We hung out, I tried to maintain boundaries to avoid falling right back into the same place I was with her. Very friendly and somewhat standoffish, making some sarcastic jokes about how she’s not quite back in my good graces so don’t get comfortable. (BTW, we are both very very sarcastic with each other, that’s our way of finding humor and sometimes communicating feelings). She asked to spend the night, by then it was near 11pm, and I don’t hate the girl, so I said she could. She got cuddly with me and I was like ok whatever, and let it happen.
Next morning we go to brunch, she’s touching my thigh in the car, wanting to hold my hand. And as we’re eating, she keeps asking questions/talking about me in the sense of saying “someone I’m with” or “if we were together” and blah blah. She kept bringing up memories, asking me what I thought of her when we met, etc. Seemed like she was opening the door of a conversation, definitely crossing from friendly to romantic topics.
We get back to my house and she asks to borrow a book of mine so we go upstairs. Soon enough, she is coming onto me - hard. Basically following me around my place as I back up and am saying “what are you doing” and showing clear uncertainty of if this is a good idea. She ended up getting me against a wall and kissing me, and I mean - I couldn’t stop myself from kissing back. So then we kinda fumble around, making out, touching and she’s wanting me to fuck her (verbally telling me what she wants me to do to her) and then I tell her we shouldn’t and I have plans later and we can’t do this. I eventually get her out the door, and she texts me later continuing the dirty convo, trying to get a rise out of me.
Ultimately - I want to know if I am just some toy she plays with or if she values me, could see something with me (not now) but ever. I would rather not waste any more time, nor do I want to sacrifice something that could be a good friendship by things getting messy with her again.
Any advice helps. Thank you!
No your not a "Toy". It way more complicated then that. Should could have commitment issues or their could be something about you she is unsure about. I would post in the power room. To get a female perspective. This situation is common.
A serious question. I'm reading nothing about how you feel about her and your time together. How do you feel about her?.
Do you love her and what something serious or what?
If you had a issue with this situation, you need to speak up and have a mature conversation about it, where you 100% state your intentions to her. If you have been holding back at this point and letting her take the lead, this is on you.
Letting this fester will cause resentment and anger will poison the well on your end. On her end you could hurt her because you guys are not on the same page.
I would especially like to point out she ask your relationship status before engaging you sexually. She isn't using you dude. Your going to end up hurting her.
Posted by MareInfamePosted by sadgeminiPosted by MareInfame
Are you seeing other women or is she the only one in your life right now?
I’ve drawn the line with her when she asks if I am involved with other people. Kind of shrug it off like “why do you want to know?” Or “why does it matter?” But she knows that I am available and that there are people who want to be with me and are actively trying to get with me. She ALWAYS asks me of my involvement with people, she always had for years. She likes to keep tabs.
Part of me thinks she needs to sort herself out and she might eventually be comfortable with commitment.... but another part of me just doesn’t want to be toyed around. Bottom line, I don’t need (or necessarily want) a serious relationship right now. I just want to be cared for in a similar way, I want mutual feelings to be there. I don’t need a label.
I wasn’t asking if you see other women to get a perspective on her, I was asking to get a perspective on you. You need to open yourself up to others and just go for it. Stop waiting on Scorpio to emotionally grow up. She isn’t asking you to wait for her. She isn’t asking to be exclusive. So... go out and have fun... and next time she asks, don’t read so much into it - just respond freely/openly.
She isn’t toying with you. She clearly told you what to expect from her. Yeah, she needs to sort things out for herself... but she is focused on “she”. Stop assuming she’s out to get you and make you a victim of some kind. Keep your boundaries, protect your needs and you won’t make yourself a victim.
You don’t need a label? Don’t want a serious relationship? That’s what’s happening right now, you already have that with her! Are you pulling a mutables on me?!?! This is confusing AF to me 🤪.
Clarify what you want from her on an emotional level and communicate that to her... because right now you sound confusing. And whatever her response is to that, BELIEVE HER. If it’s not enough for you... let her go.click to expand
Ok - to clarify - yes, I am seeing other people. Happily.
But in the past, I tended to drop off those other relationships for her sake (to spend time with her more, etc).
I don’t need a label, I suppose reassurance? I am in a period of my life where I want to focus on myself and do what’s best for me, and only allow healthy relationships to build. So I guess my worry is that what she says/does/acts around me is a game, sort of like flirting with me for play. I don’t need to solidify commitment to each other or anything, because I’m not sure if IM even ready for that... but if we’re flirting, if we’re doing whatever we’re doing, I want it to be genuine from her end and to not take me or my care for her for granted.
You all are right in that I should just ask her, but I don’t want to escalate the conversation into anything serious.
Maybe the question I am looking for answers to is this: are these signs of someone who has genuine feelings for me? How she is talking to me, acting around me... are those telling signs of how she feels?
Not trying to progress to a relationship. Just wanting to make sure I’m not being taken advantage of.
Not trying to progress to a relationship. Just wanting to make sure I’m not being taken advantage of.
Posted by MareInfamePosted by sadgeminiPosted by MareInfamePosted by sadgeminiPosted by MareInfame
Are you seeing other women or is she the only one in your life right now?
I’ve drawn the line with her when she asks if I am involved with other people. Kind of shrug it off like “why do you want to know?” Or “why does it matter?” But she knows that I am available and that there are people who want to be with me and are actively trying to get with me. She ALWAYS asks me of my involvement with people, she always had for years. She likes to keep tabs.
Part of me thinks she needs to sort herself out and she might eventually be comfortable with commitment.... but another part of me just doesn’t want to be toyed around. Bottom line, I don’t need (or necessarily want) a serious relationship right now. I just want to be cared for in a similar way, I want mutual feelings to be there. I don’t need a label.
I wasn’t asking if you see other women to get a perspective on her, I was asking to get a perspective on you. You need to open yourself up to others and just go for it. Stop waiting on Scorpio to emotionally grow up. She isn’t asking you to wait for her. She isn’t asking to be exclusive. So... go out and have fun... and next time she asks, don’t read so much into it - just respond freely/openly.
She isn’t toying with you. She clearly told you what to expect from her. Yeah, she needs to sort things out for herself... but she is focused on “she”. Stop assuming she’s out to get you and make you a victim of some kind. Keep your boundaries, protect your needs and you won’t make yourself a victim.
You don’t need a label? Don’t want a serious relationship? That’s what’s happening right now, you already have that with her! Are you pulling a mutables on me?!?! This is confusing AF to me 🤪.
Clarify what you want from her on an emotional level and communicate that to her... because right now you sound confusing. And whatever her response is to that, BELIEVE HER. If it’s not enough for you... let her go.
Ok - to clarify - yes, I am seeing other people. Happily.
But in the past, I tended to drop off those other relationships for her sake (to spend time with her more, etc).
I don’t need a label, I suppose reassurance? I am in a period of my life where I want to focus on myself and do what’s best for me, and only allow healthy relationships to build. So I guess my worry is that what she says/does/acts around me is a game, sort of like flirting with me for play. I don’t need to solidify commitment to each other or anything, because I’m not sure if IM even ready for that... but if we’re flirting, if we’re doing whatever we’re doing, I want it to be genuine from her end and to not take me or my care for her for granted.
Glad to hear you are happily seeing other women.
What type of reassurance do you need from her?
I think what makes you insecure is that you know you would drop everything for her when the time came and you feel she wouldn’t do the same for you, correct?
Has she demonstrated any type of friendship or familial behavior with you?click to expand
The only thing I can think of is when I stopped communicating/responding to her for months, and she first spoke to me (over text), she offered a friendship in order to keep me in her life....
But the moment I saw her in real life, she’s all on me. I mean, I definitely don’t hate it.... but she tends to show me off to her friends, wants to draw compliments out of me, asks me things like “are you still attracted to me?” So, it has rarely ever felt like only a friendship between us.
Posted by IAteMyGrandmaInMonkeyTownPosted by sadgeminiPosted by IAteMyGrandmaInMonkeyTown
Are you open to an honest opinion?
Haha yes absolutely
The answer is in your own posts. You don't want anything special, so she is showing you her version of "anything special". Can't expect something if you're not offering anything.
I'm also dealing with a Scorpio with a Libra Moon. You might be doing better than me. If a woman puts you against the wall (physically that is), and eats from your hands, how hard is it to make her yours at that point? And don't tell me you don't want her, you clearly do, hence you posted here.
She is still a woman, and no matter what you think, you can seduce her and break the "game" patterns.click to expand
We’ve played this cat and mouse game for 3 years so at this point I’m not sure what exactly I want out of it. I could definitely be friends with benefits, or whatever, but she always enjoys blurring the lines and wants to make sure I’m hers and hers alone someway.
I could want something more out of it if I knew she wasn’t just trying to get some and that’s the end game. Both our egos are definitely involved in this lol
Posted by IAteMyGrandmaInMonkeyTownPosted by sadgemini
We’ve played this cat and mouse game for 3 years so at this point I’m not sure what exactly I want out of it. I could definitely be friends with benefits, or whatever, but she always enjoys blurring the lines and wants to make sure I’m hers and hers alone someway.
I could want something more out of it if I knew she wasn’t just trying to get some and that’s the end game. Both our egos are definitely involved in this lol
It took 5 years with mine. Same exact game with keeping tabs on me (my imaginary women). Indecisive.
The fact you did not use sex as a trap for her tells me you might be young, or insecure, or simply not fully in love cause it took so long. Women feel that I think. Next time when you know you have her, reverse the game, and make a super confident move on her. No love, or bull shit talk, purely sexual. You might be surprised at the end result.click to expand
Just to clarify- we have had fiery passionate sex plenty of times in the past... I just have not spoken to her or seen her since February and Wasn’t sure if we should take it back to that immediately the first time we’ve seen each other since.
But I catch your drift and I can do that.
Dude, so what do you think will change if she tells you she loves you?
Posted by Undine
Dude, so what do you think will change if she tells you she loves you?
Well she already says that to me so guess that’s why the mixed signals are so confusing?
Posted by sadgeminiPosted by Undine
Dude, so what do you think will change if she tells you she loves you?
Well she already says that to me so guess that’s why the mixed signals are so confusing?click to expand
What exactly do you want from her?
Posted by MareInfamePosted by sadgeminiPosted by Undine
Dude, so what do you think will change if she tells you she loves you?
Well she already says that to me so guess that’s why the mixed signals are so confusing?
😲Wait... what? She told you she loved you?!?!
What was your response?!?!click to expand
She told me she loved me for the first time back in 2017. We have said it back and forth to each other on/off since then. Ever since our most recent fall out, we have not been saying it as freely or really at all.
It’s safe to say that although right now it’s casual, it’s complicated. We have a lot of history and always find our way back to each other.
Posted by sadgemini
Me: Gemini Sun, Cancer Moon
Her: Scorpio Sun, Libra Moon
I’ve been on/off with a Scorpio woman for 3 years now. When we first met, we hit it off instantly and were casually “dating” (she never wanted to make it official). We have had a couple fallouts, due to her moving to a different state and then back, TWO different times - but mainly due to me being hurt by her actions and choosing to remove myself from the relationship for a period of time. We have met each other’s friends, family, etc. and I have become her “guiding light” in this world, according to her. She says I am her favorite person/“one of the best humans I’ve ever known.”
Fast forward to this past year, she was living in a different state but often comes back to her hometown (where I live). She spent nearly the entire holiday season inviting me to whatever she was doing, asking to stay over, asking me to take her to the airport, etc. She went back to her temporary home out of state. Then came February where I visited her. Things were good, she treats me as her significant other, touchy, feely around her friends, etc. Then says “even though you’re here visiting me, I just want you to know that this isn’t a relationship and I don’t want that.”
Ouch. Mainly because we were enjoying ourselves, having a good time, and I don’t think she needed to drop my feet to the ground so seriously in that moment. I’m in a point of my life where I don’t want that serious of a commitment either, as I want to focus on myself and my future. BUT I do enjoy spending my time with her. I just care about being cared for.
Didn’t talk to her for months. Now she’s back in her hometown, where I live, and she was begging me to see her. It was recently my birthday and she said she had a gift, was dying to see me, so eventually I caved.
We hung out, I tried to maintain boundaries to avoid falling right back into the same place I was with her. Very friendly and somewhat standoffish, making some sarcastic jokes about how she’s not quite back in my good graces so don’t get comfortable. (BTW, we are both very very sarcastic with each other, that’s our way of finding humor and sometimes communicating feelings). She asked to spend the night, by then it was near 11pm, and I don’t hate the girl, so I said she could. She got cuddly with me and I was like ok whatever, and let it happen.
Next morning we go to brunch, she’s touching my thigh in the car, wanting to hold my hand. And as we’re eating, she keeps asking questions/talking about me in the sense of saying “someone I’m with” or “if we were together” and blah blah. She kept bringing up memories, asking me what I thought of her when we met, etc. Seemed like she was opening the door of a conversation, definitely crossing from friendly to romantic topics.
We get back to my house and she asks to borrow a book of mine so we go upstairs. Soon enough, she is coming onto me - hard. Basically following me around my place as I back up and am saying “what are you doing” and showing clear uncertainty of if this is a good idea. She ended up getting me against a wall and kissing me, and I mean - I couldn’t stop myself from kissing back. So then we kinda fumble around, making out, touching and she’s wanting me to fuck her (verbally telling me what she wants me to do to her) and then I tell her we shouldn’t and I have plans later and we can’t do this. I eventually get her out the door, and she texts me later continuing the dirty convo, trying to get a rise out of me.
Ultimately - I want to know if I am just some toy she plays with or if she values me, could see something with me (not now) but ever. I would rather not waste any more time, nor do I want to sacrifice something that could be a good friendship by things getting messy with her again.
Any advice helps. Thank you!
If you're not ready for serious commitment..
Smash and enjoy.
Posted by HearttofTopazz
I think she wants to have her cake and eat it too. She’ll probably just wind up hurting your feelings again.
I think she wants him to eat her cake.
But yeah..
I've been in this situation before. Was smashing and wanted something more.
She had a boyfriend I didn't know about. Told me she loved me and all that mess.
So either smash and enjoy..
Or ignore her and move on.
I've been in this situation before. Was smashing and wanted something more.
She had a boyfriend I didn't know about. Told me she loved me and all that mess.
So either smash and enjoy..
Or ignore her and move on.
Posted by MareInfamePosted by _Dazed
But yeah..
I've been in this situation before. Was smashing and wanted something more.
She had a boyfriend I didn't know about. Told me she loved me and all that mess.
So either smash and enjoy..
Or ignore her and move on.
Also a Scorpio 😯?click to expand
Leo Sun/Scorp Moon
"I just care about being cared for."
^^^^^This sums it up nicely, lol. The selfishness of a Gemini, with the emotional needs of a Cancer.
Dude, you had your chance with her for three years. You broke up with her repeatedly. Do you really think that after all that, she's going to have the same feelings for you, as she did 2-3 years ago?
...........................
Your question of whether she's playing games or not..... why would you think that? Didn't she make her intentions clear? She asked for your companionship and a fuck!
Games is/was what you were playing.
^^^^^This sums it up nicely, lol. The selfishness of a Gemini, with the emotional needs of a Cancer.
Dude, you had your chance with her for three years. You broke up with her repeatedly. Do you really think that after all that, she's going to have the same feelings for you, as she did 2-3 years ago?
...........................
Your question of whether she's playing games or not..... why would you think that? Didn't she make her intentions clear? She asked for your companionship and a fuck!
Games is/was what you were playing.
Posted by _Dazed
But yeah..
I've been in this situation before. Was smashing and wanted something more.
She had a boyfriend I didn't know about. Told me she loved me and all that mess.
So either smash and enjoy..
Or ignore her and move on.
I can practically guarantee she isn’t seeing anybody. She has always told me if she was
Posted by sadgeminiPosted by _Dazed
But yeah..
I've been in this situation before. Was smashing and wanted something more.
She had a boyfriend I didn't know about. Told me she loved me and all that mess.
So either smash and enjoy..
Or ignore her and move on.
I can practically guarantee she isn’t seeing anybody. She has always told me if she wasclick to expand
Posted by Piscis_Hominis
She likes you but doesn't want a relationship for whatever reason:
- she's waiting for a different type of guy
- she's afraid
- she needs to work out some personal things
- who knows?
You're Situation
You've started out as friends (with benefits) and you've developed feelings and you want more. This is what happens. One person develops stronger feelings. I think this is the most common outcome. It is possible for both to want a relationship or for two people to be strictly casual but I don't think these two are as common.
You want more and she doesn't want to give you more. You have to decide if you can settle for this. There is a huge risk that she never wants more with you and/or finds someone else and/or ends it with you just to end it. There is that slight chance it develops into a relationship and she finally gives you a chance.
If I was in your situation I would have a tough time letting go, but I'm on the outside with more clarity. Sure I don't know all the details. But it seems that you want more and you are frustrated and left to wonder. You keep reading into things thinking that it will come. What happens if it never comes?
Think of all the available women out there who you would be compatible with and would want you as a permanent fixture in their lives. I think you need to end it and find someone who wants a relationship with you, because you are ready for one.
If you can do this you have two options:
1) Tell her you want more and wish her well.
2) Tell her you want more and ask her why she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. If she cannot give you a good enough answer then move on. Let's say she says that she's seeing a therapist to work out some issues and has decided she doesn't want to be in a formal relationship until then. She could be hung up on another guy? She might never want a relationship with any man ever for whatever reason? Why not give her a chance to explain?
I think you do need to break it off and find someone else. She needs to worry about losing you. If she's not worried then you were never hers to lose and she was never yours to lose. You have been too available for her, being her friend and lover, offering her companionship, guidance, affection, etc. The stuff relationships are made of!
If you want a relationship and she's not prepared to give you one then you need to let her go, otherwise you will never be happy.
Also, I you end it and she doesn’t fight for you initially I would go with zero contact. You’ll be able to focus on moving on, and if she really doesn’t want things to end, she’ll have to come and get you. Don’t make it easy by just stepping back in.
Posted by sadgeminiPosted by _Dazed
But yeah..
I've been in this situation before. Was smashing and wanted something more.
She had a boyfriend I didn't know about. Told me she loved me and all that mess.
So either smash and enjoy..
Or ignore her and move on.
I can practically guarantee she isn’t seeing anybody. She has always told me if she wasclick to expand
So what’s the issue again?
You don’t want a relationship and neither does she but you want some “feelings” reciprocated?
What feelings are those, if this is all just fun and games?
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Fast forward to this past year, she was living in a different state but often comes back to her hometown (where I live). She spent nearly the entire holiday season inviting me to whatever she was doing, asking to stay over, asking me to take her to the airport, etc. She went back to her temporary home out of state. Then came February where I visited her. Things were good, she treats me as her significant other, touchy, feely around her friends, etc. Then says “even though you’re here visiting me, I just want you to know that this isn’t a relationship and I don’t want that.”
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