NikaInverse
@NikaInverse
10 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 38 · Topics: 2
Will he give up or fight for me?
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"he'd say he didn't want to be with me because he's bad for me, but couldn't end it, so he wanted to hear from someone who's against us."
Wow he's in self sabotage mode...
To be real frank, I can't see how you're surprised all this is happening. Just look at the circumstances in which you got him.
Wow he's in self sabotage mode...
To be real frank, I can't see how you're surprised all this is happening. Just look at the circumstances in which you got him.
Posted by xXxAliciaXxXHe was my best friend for years, and a completely different person. I mean his personality stayed the same, the one I fell for. But back then, he was the most amazing, successful and pure person I've ever known. When we reconnected and I saw how he ended up (because of some terrible circumstances) my instant reaction was I gotta get his ass out of there, he doesn't belong in that world. So me trying to help a long time friend doesn't mean I'm "just as low", and my self esteem is pretty darn high. I get your critique, it's a fucked up story, but it doesn't tell much about me as a person. As for him, he's not a bad guy on the inside, he just makes stupid mistakes cause he's childish and lost. We were literally 110% honest ONLY with each other, the only thing he didn't tell me was the conversation he had with her, because he didn't even win me back properly and he fucked up again, he knew he'd lose me. (because seriously, I've never taken any shit from anyone else) And I'm not defending him, I just need to convey some of the good things too (and it's real hard trust me) for the story to be complete. I want advice, not random insults. When I ask if he'll try, it's because I want to know his next move. And if he does, he'll literally have to do some pretty amazing shit for me to forgive him.
You're relationship, from the very beginning, was based off of lies and dishonesty. The moment I read that he left someone else "for you" let me know that this particular Scorpio aint shit. No offense. Actually, I don't care if I do offend. It's the truth. He's cheated on you with an ex "because he was drunk" (typical excuse), cheated on someone else to be with you, and he was a drug dealer? Like...dude. Either you're just as low as he is and you two probably deserve each other or you just have the LOWEST of self esteem, but this relationship is toxic on so many different levels. For a moment I thought I was reading a post from KittyLarouge or whatever the hell that girls name is who's always posting some weird/stupid crap on DXP. Stop being stupid. Let it go.
Posted by xXxAliciaXxXYeah you're right. I'm waiting for him to do and say the right thing, because it feels like such a waste, losing our great friendship because we decided to try being romantically involved. That's the real problem. On another hand, I want him to try his best to win me back, while I sit back and enjoy. I fuckin' deserve it.
(cont) because if you were really as smart as you insinuate you are, you wouldn't be on here asking for further advice. You would keep him away and move on. What you want is reassurance. This guy might have some nice qualities, but its clear that overall he is bad news. You're going to do what you want to do at the end of the day though. All you're waiting for is for him to say the right things to you all over again so you can feel comfortable with running back.
I would and actually DO agree with you, it's just hard to do these things when emotions are involved. Meh. Apart from this thread, I'm focusing all my energy on moving on. I know that him trying would fuck my goal up, so I really want to know his next move.
Oh shut up, you love this shit. Just bask.
Seems like a toxic relationship from where I stand.
The excuse of, "I hooked up with her cause I was drunk" doesn't hold with me. Alcohol amplifies what your feeling, be it horneyness, anger, sadness. It removes your thin veneer you show to the world, the filter you hide your tongue behind. It's not a hallucinatory drug. It doesn't fuck with your mind so that you think your reading in the library when really your balls deep in some stranger.
He fucked the ex because HE WANTED TO. Alcohol is just the excuse he used to remove blame from himself.
And above that, he goes and shares things you told him in confidence to her? Fuck no.
I'll say that again.
FUCK. NO.
Without trust there can be no relationship worth having.
The excuse of, "I hooked up with her cause I was drunk" doesn't hold with me. Alcohol amplifies what your feeling, be it horneyness, anger, sadness. It removes your thin veneer you show to the world, the filter you hide your tongue behind. It's not a hallucinatory drug. It doesn't fuck with your mind so that you think your reading in the library when really your balls deep in some stranger.
He fucked the ex because HE WANTED TO. Alcohol is just the excuse he used to remove blame from himself.
And above that, he goes and shares things you told him in confidence to her? Fuck no.
I'll say that again.
FUCK. NO.
Without trust there can be no relationship worth having.
Posted by xXxAliciaXxX+ 1
You're relationship, from the very beginning, was based off of lies and dishonesty. The moment I read that he left someone else "for you" let me know that this particular Scorpio aint shit. No offense. Actually, I don't care if I do offend. It's the truth. He's cheated on you with an ex "because he was drunk" (typical excuse), cheated on someone else to be with you, and he was a drug dealer? Like...dude. Either you're just as low as he is and you two probably deserve each other or you just have the LOWEST of self esteem, but this relationship is toxic on so many different levels. For a moment I thought I was reading a post from KittyLarouge or whatever the hell that girls name is who's always posting some weird/stupid crap on DXP. Stop being stupid. Let it go.
not a healthy relationship by all means........ he is an addict and you are a drama queen......... now you are waiting if he will fight for you..... when you left his stuff at his apartment and blocked him, just to get a reaction out of him?
I mean, where this could go after both of your behaviour? this is not a destination to the loving, healthy relationship.......... just move on
regardless of his reaction, you dont want a person like this in your life (cheating addict) and he doesnt want a drama queen in his life, simple...........
if you two will continue, he will get more addicted and crazy and you will get crazy as well........... leave him alone, for your both sakes
don't let the naysayers kill your dream/fantasy
otherwise you're easily swayed (like most people) and not worthy of your dream becoming real
you see at a core level, we are ALL connected .. you can use this to your advantage (muahaha)
before falling asleep and right after waking up, visualize his face and send some positive energy / intentions his way
also visualize the reality you'd like to experience (for the two of you) and reinforce it with strong emotions
give him time to come to his senses and you might have him using his silver tongue to win you back
he'll repeat the process until you finally give in .. fuck what you heard: NOTHING gets in the way of REAL LOVE
(except death and cheating)
#delusionaladvice
otherwise you're easily swayed (like most people) and not worthy of your dream becoming real
you see at a core level, we are ALL connected .. you can use this to your advantage (muahaha)
before falling asleep and right after waking up, visualize his face and send some positive energy / intentions his way
also visualize the reality you'd like to experience (for the two of you) and reinforce it with strong emotions
give him time to come to his senses and you might have him using his silver tongue to win you back
he'll repeat the process until you finally give in .. fuck what you heard: NOTHING gets in the way of REAL LOVE
(except death and cheating)
#delusionaladvice
to the debbie downers:
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Posted by Koniuchawhat do you say ?Posted by KemetisinmeWhat about the Negative Nancy's?
to the debbie downers:
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.click to expand
Posted by starlover🥱Posted by KemetisinmeBeing realistic is also a good idea
to the debbie downers:
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
I talk from experience...do you?click to expand
don't talk to me with your usual condenscending tone
Posted by starlover😆 @ defensive .. someone is seeing things that she wants to seePosted by KemetisinmeYou didn't answer my question thoughPosted by starlover🥱Posted by KemetisinmeBeing realistic is also a good idea
to the debbie downers:
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
I talk from experience...do you?
don't talk to me with your usual condenscending tone
Why so defensive?click to expand
your experience isn't the prototype for other people's experiences .. I think you're projecting yourself into this person's situation/shoes and trying to determine the outcome based on your own experience .. if that's what being realistic is, then so be it
as for you question, make me answer it ? =)
Posted by busyeyes88I got what I deserved?? What the fuck? Did I cheat on anyone? No. It's not my relationship, it's his. It was his choice to cheat. Just like RN, I'm not blaming his ex for cheating on me with her, she's single, she can do w/e the hell she wants, it's HIM who should have thought about our relationship, not a third person. I didn't seduce him or initiate anything in the first place. So no hun, drop the karma bull. Americans should really learn about karma before they preach things they don't understand btw.
No disrespect what did you think was going to happen? He cheated on his GF with you! Anything borne on the bed of lies and deceit will NEVER work.... Karma is a bitch and you got what you deserved...
Posted by KemetisinmeThe visualization and theory of attraction really works, at least that's my experience. And I do believe that apart from all the bad stuff we've been through there was a genuine connection and real feelings. But it's hard for me to see any future for us, so I can't have a positive attitude. But thanks, finally someone giving an honest opinion on the REAL question I posed, which was if he'll fight for us. I obviously do know he's a bad person and our situation is beyond fucked up, but what I wanted to know was if this is truly the end (on his part) or if he'll come to his senses and give it his best like you said. =]
don't let the naysayers kill your dream/fantasy
otherwise you're easily swayed (like most people) and not worthy of your dream becoming real
you see at a core level, we are ALL connected .. you can use this to your advantage (muahaha)
before falling asleep and right after waking up, visualize his face and send some positive energy / intentions his way
also visualize the reality you'd like to experience (for the two of you) and reinforce it with strong emotions
give him time to come to his senses and you might have him using his silver tongue to win you back
he'll repeat the process until you finally give in .. fuck what you heard: NOTHING gets in the way of REAL LOVE
(except death and cheating)
#delusionaladvice
To answer if he'll fight for you, since everyone else covered the other stuff, the answer is he probably will NOT. Here's why: he chooses the easy paths in life: cheat, sell drugs, etc. He doesn't take responsibility for himself, and he has little self control, so fighting for you would take self control and a bit of motivation. So far his motivations seem to be pretty selfish.
Posted by NikaInverseAll the essentials for a scorpio to fall in love were there: trust, comfort, communication, and mind.blowing.sex. So of course we fell in love over time, and he decided to leave his GF and get serious with me. (the rl he had with her was so shallow and irrelevant it's not even worth mentioning.Karma full circle ^^^
Yet recently I found out, that he contacted the ex he broke up with for me, in the beginning of the rl crisis we had. I know he didn't cheat with her, but he talked about real personal shit, including some of my personal problems. He supposedly wanted to hear the opinion of someone other than a friend, a neutral. The story is shady AF.
Left alone with my thoughts however, I snapped, sent a raging message, left his shit in front of his apartment, blocked him on FB and his number.
Do you think he'll fight for us?
it DOES exist 😉
Posted by LetltBOfc it does, it just doesn't work that way. Read a book about it or sth.Posted by NikaInverseAll the essentials for a scorpio to fall in love were there: trust, comfort, communication, and mind.blowing.sex. So of course we fell in love over time, and he decided to leave his GF and get serious with me. (the rl he had with her was so shallow and irrelevant it's not even worth mentioning.Karma full circle ^^^
Yet recently I found out, that he contacted the ex he broke up with for me, in the beginning of the rl crisis we had. I know he didn't cheat with her, but he talked about real personal shit, including some of my personal problems. He supposedly wanted to hear the opinion of someone other than a friend, a neutral. The story is shady AF.
Left alone with my thoughts however, I snapped, sent a raging message, left his shit in front of his apartment, blocked him on FB and his number.
Do you think he'll fight for us?
it DOES exist 😉click to expand
He's shown you who he is, why you would want him to come back, is beyond me, but we all want different people and things - that's what makes the world exciting, but I would seriously think long and hard as to why you want this man - he is fulfilling a need in you, might want to find out what that need is and if its a healthy one - just my opinion. Anyway, I have found that the bad ones ALWAYS come back, so in this case you probably will see him again, could take a while but they always seem to pop back up.
Posted by NikaInverseDid you read this over before hitting "post message"?
IDK if he was playing with her emotions still, trying to keep her around just in case.
Were you not in the "just in case" category not too long ago? How did that turn out? Left the girlfriend remember?
Posted by NikaInverseI wouldn't do anything, but move on. FYI if you break up with a Scorp and pull that dramatic crap, you better d*mn well mean it and stick to it because it will backfire every time*. If you need space to think and make a decision, then do so. Flying off the handle like that will only you...iced.
....Left alone with my thoughts however, I snapped, sent a raging message, left his shit in front of his apartment, blocked him on FB and his number.
Do you think he'll fight for us? I know he loves me, and that it's killing him. But will he do something about it? He told me before he'd be scared to try too hard to win me back, because he'd be devastated if he didn't succeed, go back to drugs and his dark past, but then he told me he'd fight because it's worth everything. What would a Scorpio do?Almost ALL his planets are in Scorpio....click to expand
As for your specific situation. You both sound like you thrive off of deceit and dishonesty. The fact that you referred to his relationship with his girlfriend (how ever "shallow" it might appear to you) as "irrelevant" and "not worth mentioning" highlights that both of you have no regard for other people and couldn't care less how your actions impact other people. Why should you get more consideration? Meh.
*Disclaimer: Fish seem to get pass when it comes to this.
To sum their RL up for everyone, she fucked him for drugs and then developed feelings for him after she ran out of other drug dealer options and had to stick with him and see him multiple times a week to get her supply for shitty rave parties. How the fuck am I supposed to take that ish seriously?
Posted by NikaInversehe'll fight for self-interest, that's all I can say .. anything else = pure speculation .. and if he got back on his feet, there is no guarantee he'd want you to be part of his life since you could very well be seen as a reminder of a period he'd rather not think aboutPosted by KemetisinmeThe visualization and theory of attraction really works, at least that's my experience. And I do believe that apart from all the bad stuff we've been through there was a genuine connection and real feelings. But it's hard for me to see any future for us, so I can't have a positive attitude. But thanks, finally someone giving an honest opinion on the REAL question I posed, which was if he'll fight for us. I obviously do know he's a bad person and our situation is beyond fucked up, but what I wanted to know was if this is truly the end (on his part) or if he'll come to his senses and give it his best like you said. =]
don't let the naysayers kill your dream/fantasy
otherwise you're easily swayed (like most people) and not worthy of your dream becoming real
you see at a core level, we are ALL connected .. you can use this to your advantage (muahaha)
before falling asleep and right after waking up, visualize his face and send some positive energy / intentions his way
also visualize the reality you'd like to experience (for the two of you) and reinforce it with strong emotions
give him time to come to his senses and you might have him using his silver tongue to win you back
he'll repeat the process until you finally give in .. fuck what you heard: NOTHING gets in the way of REAL LOVE
(except death and cheating)
#delusionaladvice
click to expand
Posted by NikaInverse..."she fucked him for drugs"........ and what was his motivation in this? I know the easy answer, but you seem to dismiss their "connection" while you think your connection is the real one......
To sum their RL up for everyone, she fucked him for drugs and then developed feelings for him after she ran out of other drug dealer options and had to stick with him and see him multiple times a week to get her supply for shitty rave parties. How the fuck am I supposed to take that ish seriously?
if you really want to help him and want to be together, stop the drama and dismissing his other relationships....... you said, he was a boyfriend of your friend........ you no longer have this friend of yours? why not? what she would think about this situation?
an addicted person needs patience, if you really want to deal with it..... not added drama
Posted by Pandora101Cause she lied about being pregnant with him and faked an abortion to get him to stay with her cause she was cheating like a crazy person. I SHIT YOU NOT I know this all sounds crazy but it's true. She lied to me too while I was there for her cause I thought she rly did go through that.Posted by NikaInverse..."she fucked him for drugs"........ and what was his motivation in this? I know the easy answer, but you seem to dismiss their "connection" while you think your connection is the real one......
To sum their RL up for everyone, she fucked him for drugs and then developed feelings for him after she ran out of other drug dealer options and had to stick with him and see him multiple times a week to get her supply for shitty rave parties. How the fuck am I supposed to take that ish seriously?
if you really want to help him and want to be together, stop the drama and dismissing his other relationships....... you said, he was a boyfriend of your friend........ you no longer have this friend of yours? why not? what she would think about this situation?
an addicted person needs patience, if you really want to deal with it..... not added dramaclick to expand
He didn't want to deal with having a real rl because he kept getting hurt by the girls he was serious about. He got to have regular sex with a girl who's obsessed with him, but the main reason was that the police doesn't check girls as often, so she carried his drugs in her bra around. That simple. They literally met up only to have sex and then to sell drugs. She obviously wouldn't be willing to do that if he didn't say yes to her getting the title. That simple.
Posted by Arielle83Can't even be offended cause I am anything but a slut. Your emo cancer ass is prob butthurt because you got cheated on too.Posted by facerollThis is like slut side chick wannabe 101.
he didn't think about his last relationship. why would he have thought about yours?
you're under the delusion that you're different from his ex or that your connection is more deep and real. obviously that's bullshit because he banged someone else just like he did with his ex.
seeing that you're not a unique and special snowflake must be balls.
sucks to be you. 🙂
Me so pweettyy cuz he put pee pee in me even though he can put pee pee in her.
Dada always told me I'm pweettyy and spechial.click to expand
Posted by ImpulsvAsshole's clean lol I demanded some papers after the trash he's been with. Idk I guess I just believe in people making mistakes cause they're young and lost....Argh. I have a problem with trying to help the fucked up. This time I somehow managed to catch feeling thoPosted by NikaInverseHow do u even take ur boyfriend seriously. That's trashy drug dealer shit that will bring u an std.
To sum their RL up for everyone, she fucked him for drugs and then developed feelings for him after she ran out of other drug dealer options and had to stick with him and see him multiple times a week to get her supply for shitty rave parties. How the fuck am I supposed to take that ish seriously?click to expand
Posted by Arielle83Girl chill
Is is gf a cancer?
You seem to have some animosity.
Posted by Arielle83Yeah. I asked for advice because I've got a problem, and want to hear different opinions from different people. I'm not mad about people viewing the situation negatively, I know it's beyond fucked up. I just don't see the point in randomly insulting me or mocking me. I want genuine views on the situation. And you judging me based on one problem I wrote about, a tiny part of my life that is really negative (and I'm trying to fix it at that) is just plain stupid. I bet if you isolated the most fucked up problem you've had in your life it wouldn't look pretty either. I'm not bothered by the insults really, I just find it amusing how you waste your time on reading shit you don't like just to make fun of someone who is looking for advice. You wrote 3 fuckin' responses to initiate a random argument. Srsly.Posted by NikaInverseWe all chill.Posted by Arielle83Girl chill
Is is gf a cancer?
You seem to have some animosity.
You're the one in a soap opera.
click to expand
Btw and update for everyone who's been helpful and is interested. He contacted me saying he's found a legal job and plans to continue uni starting next semester. He told me he's sorting out his other problems so he can focus on solving us which he now has energy for since he's fixed his rl with his parents and found a job. He met up with his ex confessed about everything that's been going on between us and asked her to move on and apologized. Idk he seems to be making progress which was my main goal. As for if he'll fight for me, I still don't know and still want advice on it. We've talked a lot about it before and he was very nice to me and tried but that wasn't enough, comparing it to all the things I did for him (like fuckin' getting him out of that shithole and basically saving his life, not my words btw but his, his mothers and basically everyone's) which he repayed by stabbing me in the back. Those were cute things you do in a functional rl where you didn't hurt the person who's been fighting for your life for months. He says he's ready to make an effort and that he's realized some things, but it's all been just words and talk til now, so I'm still wondering if he'll actually do it. I think me actually walking away and trying to move on woke him up a bit. Still not sure tho.
I didn't get to talk about his problems because that wasn't the point. But a lot of people misunderstand it so I guess I'll just write it down. Exactly a year ago I contacted him when I heard from our mutual friends that they gave up on him and that he told them all to fuck off. I wanted to see what was up. I was the only one he replied to, since back in HS I was the one he used to vent all his personal shit to, and he wanted to try it again. We met up, and this guy couldn't NOT smoke a spliff every half an hour, I'm talking 50 joints a day, mixed with medicine and if it was a party, some uppers. The first time we met up we hung out for 30 hours, and he begged me to meet up every day, because he went from IDGAF in the beginning of the night to "I want to change" in a few hours. I was the only one asking questions and actually listening to him, not judging him or giving an ultimatum or ranting. It started slowly, by me asking to smoke the joint a little later cause he doesn't need it rn, to asking him not to smoke when he was with me, to him saying he doesn't need cigarettes let alone drugs when he's with me. He cried to me when his friend was killed, he crashed in my apartment when people were looking for him to fight him, we went camping when he couldn't handle the city, phone calls and drug selling. He cried to me asking when is this life going to stop and how he can get out of it. I took him to uni with me to inspire him to continue his studies, I convinced him to talk to his parents and move back home. When he surprised me with a visit in the city I'm studying in, when we stayed up all night talking he confessed he fell for me and there was no one else he could love more than me, because I was the only one who made him want to live and not just survive. The last steps were to avoid a gang looking for him, they kept his friend hostage, made threats and searched the city for him, while he stayed in his room paranoid, afraid for his life and the lives of his loved ones. I was away at uni at the time. He started going mad being locked in a room for 2 weeks, and that's when he went to the house party got piss ass drunk and cheated. He was on the brink of suicide cause he didn't know how to escape. When we'd fight, he wouldn't get out of bed cause we weren't talking and wanted to give up on the life we fought for him to create. He called his ex because he had no one else to call and talk to other than me, the person he had a problem with. When things were getting better for us he started doing well in life too. The last time we talked, I told him he's a spoiled brat and should take charge of his own life and want things for himself, things worth fighting for, and that I don't want to be the one fighting instead of him. That's why he tried to prove to me that he's changed, hence found a job etc.
Our relationship IS special and our bond WAS strong. At least in my heart it is, because it's a story of survival and getting better.
Our relationship IS special and our bond WAS strong. At least in my heart it is, because it's a story of survival and getting better.
Posted by tizianiI wouldn't have a problem with forgiving him if I knew that he doesn't take me for granted and doesn't feel like it's normal for me to always be there, it's NOT, it's literally motivation and my good will. Considering he's been my friend that transitioned into a lover, he never had to "fight" for me or win me over or anything. And since Scorpio's are all about trust and are possessive and jealous, I don't think it's safe for me to flirt and be open to other men, but on the other hand I feel like I'm too available and he doesn't see my worth, and needs a push or something like idk? How does it work with a Scorpio?
Fair play. It's your relationship. I'm just saying see it in perspective and it's easier to handle it.
Posted by Arielle83I guess it's daddy issues of some sort, my mother tried to "save" my alcoholic father. Whatever.Posted by NikaInverseWhat argument? You're the one arguing.Posted by Arielle83Yeah. I asked for advice because I've got a problem, and want to hear different opinions from different people. I'm not mad about people viewing the situation negatively, I know it's beyond fucked up. I just don't see the point in randomly insulting me or mocking me. I want genuine views on the situation. And you judging me based on one problem I wrote about, a tiny part of my life that is really negative (and I'm trying to fix it at that) is just plain stupid. I bet if you isolated the most fucked up problem you've had in your life it wouldn't look pretty either. I'm not bothered by the insults really, I just find it amusing how you waste your time on reading shit you don't like just to make fun of someone who is looking for advice. You wrote 3 fuckin' responses to initiate a random argument. Srsly.Posted by NikaInverseWe all chill.Posted by Arielle83Girl chill
Is is gf a cancer?
You seem to have some animosity.
You're the one in a soap opera.
I can't understand your logic. Like I said, bluntly, move on.
The problem is, you're obviously younger, and for some reason you're hooked into someone who can't give you what you need at this time.
I'm wondering why you want this guy over others. You said "blissful" etc, like your experience is singularity unique, but it isn't.
Maybe I'm giving you advice as a woman whose been with guys similar to him, when I was younger as well. Maybe I'm telling you to think of yourself because this guy needs a crutch and that will be you. Then you'll come back here and maybe things will be better or worse. Maybe he'll string you along for your devotion, but no one knows.
Why are you trying to be someone's life coach when you're young and need to get your priorities in order as well?
You're in for a headache because he is inferior to you and your needs, and a connection is meaningless if someone lacks integrity.click to expand
The thing is I'm 21, on top of my class at uni, with one year left til my diploma. I have a great circle of friends, a job, I live on my own since I'm studying in another city, I've got it all figured out for myself. I never payed much attention to my love life, I had an on-off thing with an Aqua for years (
(I'm a cap so you can see the disaster) and this thing with this scorp man it felt so real and so right. We'd be happy when the other person smiles, we'd think of surprises, make plans, could talk about anything, spend days together... and he's finally fixed and it feels like such a waste, and I'm mad because we didn't even have the chance to try and have a normal rl. It's been 5 years since the last time I loved and I just can't open up to people easily and I don't have the strength/will to build something as strong as this again. Our friends and family got along, we'd keep meeting again and again, coincidences shoving us back together every time. I'm fucked up and he didn't always understand my issues but he loved me with all the crazy shit I do and as a cap I'm very sexually reserved, I had very little experience and even that I didn't like, this guy showed me what the fuss is about it was magic, for both of us. He's insanely immature, childish and insecure and a coward, that's why he keeps fucking up to save himself from the hurt but idk why man I just don't know how to give up
Posted by NikaInverseWell it needs 2 people to cheat and sometimes to betray one partie and leave. I get you. U still have hope and ur cap sun cant lose lol but seriously. U deserve a better man. Who is strong enough to say "i finish my business first and man up before I get involved with someone"Posted by busyeyes88I got what I deserved?? What the fuck? Did I cheat on anyone? No. It's not my relationship, it's his. It was his choice to cheat. Just like RN, I'm not blaming his ex for cheating on me with her, she's single, she can do w/e the hell she wants, it's HIM who should have thought about our relationship, not a third person. I didn't seduce him or initiate anything in the first place. So no hun, drop the karma bull. Americans should really learn about karma before they preach things they don't understand btw.
No disrespect what did you think was going to happen? He cheated on his GF with you! Anything borne on the bed of lies and deceit will NEVER work.... Karma is a bitch and you got what you deserved...click to expand
He's not a man, he can't end things so he does things in the hopes that they resolve themselves.He will be back, have the strength to say no and walk away.
UPDATE: He came over last night. He brought me a mirror with his pictures on them, going in circles from childhood til now, and in the middle it says: change starts with the man in the mirror. Then he turned it around and told me to look, but there was nothing on it, and he said that's what he wanted his future to look like. (Our reflection) He brought me some heart shaped bread from the bakery he started working in, downloaded one of my fav movies and watched it with me. I fell asleep right after the movie and he stayed over, and to my biggest surprise got up in time by himself (he always needs someone to wake him up cuz he "just can't") and left for work, left a note beside my bed saying: You've seen nothing yet. This is just the beginning. You deserve so much more. You are the reason I have something to get up in the morning for. I'll win you over again because I want you in my new life.
It might be a false alarm again, but he finally did something about us and about his life without anyone's help. I know his friends went out to smoke weed and he refused which is also a huge step. He never refuses weed. Idk if it's some sort of a manipulation, a one time thing or if he genuinely realized some things, but I'm happy. I hope I'm not stupid for falling for these games of his.
It might be a false alarm again, but he finally did something about us and about his life without anyone's help. I know his friends went out to smoke weed and he refused which is also a huge step. He never refuses weed. Idk if it's some sort of a manipulation, a one time thing or if he genuinely realized some things, but I'm happy. I hope I'm not stupid for falling for these games of his.
Posted by NikaInversei didnt read everything but some of your posts is you trying to convince yourself of him. you're trying very very hard which is commendable.
(I'm a cap so you can see the disaster) and this thing with this scorp man it felt so real and so right. We'd be happy when the other person smiles, we'd think of surprises, make plans, could talk about anything, spend days together... and he's finally fixed and it feels like such a waste, and I'm mad because we didn't even have the chance to try and have a normal rl. It's been 5 years since the last time I loved and I just can't open up to people easily and I don't have the strength/will to build something as strong as this again. Our friends and family got along, we'd keep meeting again and again, coincidences shoving us back together every time. I'm fucked up and he didn't always understand my issues but he loved me with all the crazy shit I do and as a cap I'm very sexually reserved, I had very little experience and even that I didn't like, this guy showed me what the fuss is about it was magic, for both of us. He's insanely immature, childish and insecure and a coward, that's why he keeps fucking up to save himself from the hurt but idk why man I just don't know how to give up
but you can't make a man do anything he dont want.
if he's not making it work for you both, and you are also making things easy peasy for him, then there's incompatibility.
Posted by NikaInverseplus it sounds like he's not willing to give up anything for you. it's like youre torturing yourself.
UPDATE: He came over last night. He brought me a mirror with his pictures on them, going in circles from childhood til now, and in the middle it says: change starts with the man in the mirror. Then he turned it around and told me to look, but there was nothing on it, and he said that's what he wanted his future to look like. (Our reflection) He brought me some heart shaped bread from the bakery he started working in, downloaded one of my fav movies and watched it with me. I fell asleep right after the movie and he stayed over, and to my biggest surprise got up in time by himself (he always needs someone to wake him up cuz he "just can't") and left for work, left a note beside my bed saying: You've seen nothing yet. This is just the beginning. You deserve so much more. You are the reason I have something to get up in the morning for. I'll win you over again because I want you in my new life.
It might be a false alarm again, but he finally did something about us and about his life without anyone's help. I know his friends went out to smoke weed and he refused which is also a huge step. He never refuses weed. Idk if it's some sort of a manipulation, a one time thing or if he genuinely realized some things, but I'm happy. I hope I'm not stupid for falling for these games of his.
Posted by NikaInverseoh ok. was reading through your posts and your last one (this ONE) actually has glimmer of hope. well...sigh i hope it works this time. he sounds like he's passionate about it.
UPDATE: He came over last night. He brought me a mirror with his pictures on them, going in circles from childhood til now, and in the middle it says: change starts with the man in the mirror. Then he turned it around and told me to look, but there was nothing on it, and he said that's what he wanted his future to look like. (Our reflection) He brought me some heart shaped bread from the bakery he started working in, downloaded one of my fav movies and watched it with me. I fell asleep right after the movie and he stayed over, and to my biggest surprise got up in time by himself (he always needs someone to wake him up cuz he "just can't") and left for work, left a note beside my bed saying: You've seen nothing yet. This is just the beginning. You deserve so much more. You are the reason I have something to get up in the morning for. I'll win you over again because I want you in my new life.
It might be a false alarm again, but he finally did something about us and about his life without anyone's help. I know his friends went out to smoke weed and he refused which is also a huge step. He never refuses weed. Idk if it's some sort of a manipulation, a one time thing or if he genuinely realized some things, but I'm happy. I hope I'm not stupid for falling for these games of his.
it's like he's convincing HIMSELF. for you. like it's effort
Posted by NikaInversePosted by Arielle83I guess it's daddy issues of some sort, my mother tried to "save" my alcoholic father. Whatever.Posted by NikaInverseWhat argument? You're the one arguing.Posted by Arielle83Yeah. I asked for advice because I've got a problem, and want to hear different opinions from different people. I'm not mad about people viewing the situation negatively, I know it's beyond fucked up. I just don't see the point in randomly insulting me or mocking me. I want genuine views on the situation. And you judging me based on one problem I wrote about, a tiny part of my life that is really negative (and I'm trying to fix it at that) is just plain stupid. I bet if you isolated the most fucked up problem you've had in your life it wouldn't look pretty either. I'm not bothered by the insults really, I just find it amusing how you waste your time on reading shit you don't like just to make fun of someone who is looking for advice. You wrote 3 fuckin' responses to initiate a random argument. Srsly.Posted by NikaInverseWe all chill.Posted by Arielle83Girl chill
Is is gf a cancer?
You seem to have some animosity.
You're the one in a soap opera.
I can't understand your logic. Like I said, bluntly, move on.
The problem is, you're obviously younger, and for some reason you're hooked into someone who can't give you what you need at this time.
I'm wondering why you want this guy over others. You said "blissful" etc, like your experience is singularity unique, but it isn't.
Maybe I'm giving you advice as a woman whose been with guys similar to him, when I was younger as well. Maybe I'm telling you to think of yourself because this guy needs a crutch and that will be you. Then you'll come back here and maybe things will be better or worse. Maybe he'll string you along for your devotion, but no one knows.
Why are you trying to be someone's life coach when you're young and need to get your priorities in order as well?
You're in for a headache because he is inferior to you and your needs, and a connection is meaningless if someone lacks integrity.click to expand
The thing is I'm 21, on top of my class at uni, with one year left til my diploma. I have a great circle of friends, a job, I live on my own since I'm studying in another city, I've got it all figure
got cut off...
it sounds great that you're very well together! with the diploma and everything. You succeed in many arenas.
it sounds great that you're very well together! with the diploma and everything. You succeed in many arenas.
Okay girl... If you want advice then listen.... in my opinion if you want relationship with someone anytime you should be 100% sure that you both have your shit together. Then you can date... from everything you've written nothing about your relationship with this guy is healthy or okay. It doesn't matter what your birth chart is! This is not true love it's full of fear of losing something that was "yours" If I were you I'd move on with my life, that means if you want to be happy...I don't think he's in right place for dating, he doesn't even have his life sorted out how can he love someone else?! Think about it real hard before you start dating him again... Maybe some alone time for both of you would be the best... No one else can make you happy, only you can do that for yourself. That's the reason why you shouldn't date him and if you really love him you will understand it. Maybe one day if you're both in right place at right time you can be together and actually be happy. Trust me you won't be happy.. not like this, sooner or later it will break.
Posted by NikaInverseoh god stop right there! i'm capricorn myself and I'm 22 I used to be like you but I was 16 and I got over it and i've gone through few bad relationships... it's like looking at myself years ago. I have to agree you are fucked up (I don't mean it in bad way!) you have to stop obssesing over him right now. It won't make you happy, in the end you will end up being hurt and sad. You have to start learning from your mistakes and i will repeat myself no one else can make you happy but YOU! so start from there... yes i know what it's like to have beautiful connection with someone but it's not the purpose of your life, it should be the highligh of your life. You seem to have bright future in front of you so why don't you focus on that..? You might think that if you won't have someone in your life (I mean lover/boyfriend) that your life is not worth it... But it's not truth, life is so much more than that. You let him step on you over and over again like it's okay and you even make excuses for him so it seems okay....? Just NO. Go and live your life! Be happy! Believe me I know that it's hard to find someone that you really love so deeply... but true love is simply something that starts with you loving yourself completely just the way you are and then meeting someone you connect with on many levels who has their life together and enjoy your company and you can be super happy together! that's what true love is.. of course when you're in relationship with someone you need to be able to make compromises and discuss all your problems together. but mainly you need to be satisfied with the way you are and happy even if you're alone and single. Don't let others hurt you so easily...
(I'm a cap so you can see the disaster) and this thing with this scorp man it felt so real and so right. We'd be happy when the other person smiles, we'd think of surprises, make plans, could talk about anything, spend days together... and he's finally fixed and it feels like such a waste, and I'm mad because we didn't even have the chance to try and have a normal rl. It's been 5 years since the last time I loved and I just can't open up to people easily and I don't have the strength/will to build something as strong as this again. Our friends and family got along, we'd keep meeting again and again, coincidences shoving us back together every time. I'm fucked up and he didn't always understand my issues but he loved me with all the crazy shit I do and as a cap I'm very sexually reserved, I had very little experience and even that I didn't like, this guy showed me what the fuss is about it was magic, for both of us. He's insanely immature, childish and insecure and a coward, that's why he keeps fucking up to save himself from the hurt but idk why man I just don't know how to give up
Posted by Baruthat's really good advice...
Okay girl... If you want advice then listen.... in my opinion if you want relationship with someone anytime you should be 100% sure that you both have your shit together. Then you can date... from everything you've written nothing about your relationship with this guy is healthy or okay. It doesn't matter what your birth chart is! This is not true love it's full of fear of losing something that was "yours" If I were you I'd move on with my life, that means if you want to be happy...I don't think he's in right place for dating, he doesn't even have his life sorted out how can he love someone else?! Think about it real hard before you start dating him again... Maybe some alone time for both of you would be the best... No one else can make you happy, only you can do that for yourself. That's the reason why you shouldn't date him and if you really love him you will understand it. Maybe one day if you're both in right place at right time you can be together and actually be happy. Trust me you won't be happy.. not like this, sooner or later it will break.
but i saw her placements, Scorpio moon is stubborn and capricorn is gonna make it work!!!
despite the failings.
also, when i read her post, it reminds me of my husband's cousin who went to a different country to live for almost 6 years, or 5 and a half, not sure of the exact, but mother in law and her aunts and step mother all warned her, but she is DETERMINED to make it work. So people just sigh and just let her be......you can't make a stubborn person who wants to make it work listen. They will learn on their own. That's why.
it got cut off...
You are so young! Maybe try reading mastery of love or four agreements by don miguel ruiz... it's good book, it might help you. I hope I didn't offend you or anything but please try and be happy!
You are so young! Maybe try reading mastery of love or four agreements by don miguel ruiz... it's good book, it might help you. I hope I didn't offend you or anything but please try and be happy!
his cousin said, somethng to them like, "i dont care i will make him SEE that i'm the woman he loves. I'll SHOW him..."
but it wasn't enough.
but it wasn't enough.
so basically just let her be.....let her go. Let her find her own way.
Posted by lisabethur8Yes you are right I know exactly what you mean... 🙂 I have scorpio moon as well and I am a very stubborn person... I just hope she will be able to grow a little, learn from her mistakes and move on with her life and be happy... no relationship is worth so much suffering ever! it took me many years to be able to let go of this "sh*t" and chasing after others.. and still sometimes i find myself obssesing over something that is so not worth my time (i guess that's my scorpio moon right there 😄) but i found out it's all about letting go of pitty (i mean poor me act) and "what could've been" so yeah life moves on anyway no matter what happens.
so basically just let her be.....let her go. Let her find her own way.
Posted by Barui feel relationships are worth it, but not when the other person doesn't see eye to eye with you. or on the same page. it hurts, but she sounds strong, and determined.Posted by lisabethur8Yes you are right I know exactly what you mean... 🙂 I have scorpio moon as well and I am a very stubborn person... I just hope she will be able to grow a little, learn from her mistakes and move on with her life and be happy... no relationship is worth so much suffering ever! it took me many years to be able to let go of this "sh*t" and chasing after others.. and still sometimes i find myself obssesing over something that is so not worth my time (i guess that's my scorpio moon right there 😄) but i found out it's all about letting go of pitty (i mean poor me act) and "what could've been" so yeah life moves on anyway no matter what happens.
so basically just let her be.....let her go. Let her find her own way.click to expand
Posted by BaruPosted by NikaInverseoh god stop right there! i'm capricorn myself and I'm 22 I used to be like you but I was 16 and I got over it and i've gone through few bad relationships... it's like looking at myself years ago. I have to agree you are fucked up (I don't mean it in bad way!) you have to stop obssesing over him right now. It won't make you happy, in the end you will end up being hurt and sad. You have to start learning from your mistakes and i will repeat myself no one else can make you happy but YOU! so start from there... yes i know what it's like to have beautiful connection with someone but it's not the purpose of your life, it should be the highligh of your life. You seem to have bright future in front of you so why don't you focus on that..? You might think that if you won't have someone in your life (I mean lover/boyfriend) that your life is not worth it... But it's not truth, life is so much more than that. You let him step on you over and over again like it's okay and you even make excuses for him so it seems okay....? Just NO. Go and live your life! Be happy! Believe me I know that it's hard to find someone that you really love so deeply... but true love is simply something that starts with you loving yourself completely just the way you are and then meeting someone you connect with on many levels who has their life together and enjoy your company and you can be super happy together! that's what true love is.. of course when you're in relationship with someone you need to be able to make compromises and discuss all your problems together. but mainly you need to be satisfied with the way you are and happy even if you're alone and single. Don't let others hurt yo
(I'm a cap so you can see the disaster) and this thing with this scorp man it felt so real and so right. We'd be happy when the other person smiles, we'd think of surprises, make plans, could talk about anything, spend days together... and he's finally fixed and it feels like such a waste, and I'm mad because we didn't even have the chance to try and have a normal rl. It's been 5 years since the last time I loved and I just can't open up to people easily and I don't have the strength/will to build something as strong as this again. Our friends and family got along, we'd keep meeting again and again, coincidences shoving us back together every time. I'm fucked up and he didn't always understand my issues but he loved me with all the crazy shit I do and as a cap I'm very sexually reserved, I had very little experience and even that I didn't like, this guy showed me what the fuss is about it was magic, for both of us. He's insanely immature, childish and insecure and a coward, that's why he keeps fucking up to save himself from the hurt but idk why man I just don't know how to give upclick to expand
Got cut off for some reason. Anyway. I was saying.
Exactly. I was like that at 16 too, got through that bad rl, the rest of it was messing around when it comes to my love life, and getting my shit together when it comes to everything else. (Hence the uni/friends/job etc) I thought I changed and that I've learned, and I was saying the exact same words to my friends you are saying to me rn, I loved being single (until now 3 years) and I didn't need nor want anyone. I worked only on myself and my life, and I know myself so well at this point that I can fuckin' control my dreams for example, I did learn to love myself and urged others to do the same. But when my feelings for this guy developed I went back to that same girl I used to be 5 years ago. Love fuckin' consumes you and I'm mad as hell that I've been APPARENTLY wasting my time, I guess that's just who I am, it takes a long ass time for me to fall for someone, but when I do I fall like an idiot. I hope next time I won't fall FOR an idiot tho. Thanks for the advice, I'd literally write the same a few months ago it's scary
Exactly. I was like that at 16 too, got through that bad rl, the rest of it was messing around when it comes to my love life, and getting my shit together when it comes to everything else. (Hence the uni/friends/job etc) I thought I changed and that I've learned, and I was saying the exact same words to my friends you are saying to me rn, I loved being single (until now 3 years) and I didn't need nor want anyone. I worked only on myself and my life, and I know myself so well at this point that I can fuckin' control my dreams for example, I did learn to love myself and urged others to do the same. But when my feelings for this guy developed I went back to that same girl I used to be 5 years ago. Love fuckin' consumes you and I'm mad as hell that I've been APPARENTLY wasting my time, I guess that's just who I am, it takes a long ass time for me to fall for someone, but when I do I fall like an idiot. I hope next time I won't fall FOR an idiot tho. Thanks for the advice, I'd literally write the same a few months ago it's scary
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We tried to resolve this too, and again, a fight, followed by tears, and then moments of happiness.
Left alone with my thoughts however, I snapped, sent a raging message, left his shit in front of his apartment, blocked him on FB and his number.
Do you think he'll fight for us? I know he loves me, and that it's killing him. But will he do something about it? He told me before he'd be scared to try too hard to win me back, because he'd be devastated if he didn't succeed, go back to drugs and his dark past, but then he told me he'd fight because it's worth everything. What would a Scorpio do?Almost ALL his planets are in Scorpio, I am a cap, Venus in Scor