@sagittariusxo
9 YearsSagittarius
Dear Diary: Im doubting my bull a little
Understanding Taurus Men in Relationships
Taurus men are often cautious about major commitments and prefer stability. Their 'I don't know' response may indicate hesitance rather than disinterest. Open communication and patience are key. If he truly values the relationship, he will need time to clarify his feelings. Trust your instincts and prioritize your needs and your child's well-being.
I would ask him to go house shopping with me. Instead of asking him to move in. Exactly what I did actually and it played out nicely.
Like leading a horse to water.
I would ask him to go house shopping with me. Instead of asking him to move in. Exactly what I did actually and it played out nicely.
Like leading a horse to water.
that's a great Idea... and its definitely something I want him to be apart of because I want to share my excitement. this is a proud moment for me and deep down I want him to be impressed and proud as well. sometimes TIME really ticks me because I know I just have to allow time and the unknown to play out but I really hate being unprepared.
Nice way to pressure
But you are in your right to know if your goals are the same
Seems like it’s not
it totally is pressure. and I hate that, that kind why im depressed about it before bring it up.
granted if he doesn't want to he doesn't want to. and I think at that point we have to start considering the beginning of the end because GOALZ.
don't wait while he takes time to make up his mind. ultimately your loyalty lies with your son and what is best for him.
your guy might come to the party eventually or he might not but either way, you have to put your responsibility of being a mother (to your child, not this guy) first.
Do you.
He either will or wont follow
I push people away by being busy too LOL
I grew up watching my father do it so I blame him😄
Good luck with this.
I would ask him to go house shopping with me. Instead of asking him to move in. Exactly what I did actually and it played out nicely.
Like leading a horse to water.
that's a great Idea... and its definitely something I want him to be apart of because I want to share my excitement. this is a proud moment for me and deep down I want him to be impressed and proud as well. sometimes TIME really ticks me because I know I just have to allow time and the unknown to play out but I really hate being unprepared.
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Well maybe that’s part of it.
Do you make more $ $ than him? You have more assets ie your current house.
Some men get an ego about wearing the ‘provider’ hat.
This dude has been dragging his feet from jump.
I would end it.
Will 25 miles away really make that much difference? I wouldn’t consider that long distance
For real... I drive further than that for work.
I really don't see any problems here... at all.
Girl, get your life, get a lil dick, take care of your baby, and keep it moving. What?
Will 25 miles away really make that much difference? I wouldn’t consider that long distance
I work 20 miles from where I live. My boyfriend is 20 miles from there....its a 40 minute round trip....doesn't seem awful tbh
Will 25 miles away really make that much difference? I wouldn’t consider that long distance
I work 20 miles from where I live. My boyfriend is 20 miles from there....its a 40 minute round trip....doesn't seem awful tbh
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I suppose it wouldn't be that bad.
it would just be harder. his hour are opposite of mine. I have a child and weekly routine with him
I don't know. I just feel like we would see eachother less. I mean I live 3 miles from him now so its nice he can come over in be there in 5 minutes. if I am with him and need something from my place its not a issue. its just the feeling of going backwards.
I really don't see any problems here... at all.
Girl, get your life, get a lil dick, take care of your baby, and keep it moving. What?
haha - you're funny 😛
but yeah, Duh im obviously doing what I gotta do for my child! I mean forever and always he is NUMERO UNO.
i want to be happy though as well and i want to balance that.
but your right. and thanks
This dude has been dragging his feet from jump.
I would end it.
that's just his personality. he isn't a optimistic person. he is always concerned about the negative what ifs then the positive what ifs and doesn't really push for change.
but he is a good man and makes me very happy and yeah..... im not ending it for something like this. that's too easy.
1. Dont ever buy a home outside of your financial means. If your plan is for it to be you and your son, stick to that plan.
2. Dont put your life on hold for anyone. Especially not someone who giving you the slow no designed as maybes.
3. Dont push people into a financial commitment. Assets are a big deal. Why would you wanna push someone into a mortgage that they dont want. No one wants to be married to a mortgage.
4. 25 miles ain't sh.it. if its important to you, you/him make the effort.
5. Dont play push/pull games.
6. Who matters to you more? Your son and his relationship with his dad or your relationship with your boyfriend.
Will 25 miles away really make that much difference? I wouldn’t consider that long distance
I work 20 miles from where I live. My boyfriend is 20 miles from there....its a 40 minute round trip....doesn't seem awful tbh
I suppose it wouldn't be that bad.
it would just be harder. his hour are opposite of mine. I have a child and weekly routine with him
I don't know. I just feel like we would see eachother less. I mean I live 3 miles from him now so its nice he can come over in be there in 5 minutes. if I am with him and need something from my place its not a issue. its just the feeling of going backwards.
click to expand
As my grandmother said " If there's a will there is a way". It's going to be a test but if you guys survive it or I'd you don't...there is your answer. Sometimes you just have to relinquish some control and let the universe/life just do...
This dude has been dragging his feet from jump.
I would end it.
that's just his personality. he isn't a optimistic person. he is always concerned about the negative what ifs then the positive what ifs and doesn't really push for change.
but he is a good man and makes me very happy and yeah..... im not ending it for something like this. that's too easy.
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He never seems excited about your future together based on what you post.
This dude has been dragging his feet from jump.
I would end it.
that's just his personality. he isn't a optimistic person. he is always concerned about the negative what ifs then the positive what ifs and doesn't really push for change.
but he is a good man and makes me very happy and yeah..... im not ending it for something like this. that's too easy.
He never seems excited about your future together based on what you post.
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You are right.
yeah, I can see how you could think that. he honest never seems excited about anything even the things that should make anyone really excited.... but he is SO controlled all the time. I personally hardly ever know if he is mad, sad, annoyed, content. not emotionally expressive unless drunk lol (which is something I know but is hard to grasp at times because im so different. im excited about everything, like a kid in a candy story excited. it written all over my face and my actions. and it doesn't take much to excited me. the fact that I know this about him but still is always a challenge to grasp in the moments.
that is were I think times come in. I feel all these things and I want answers right away but I know that in time he shows him self in actions. he expresses him self in random moments. or I completely call him out, like I do most of the time and he looks at me like he expects me to have known the answer the entire time. (it goes without saying)
we are such a mess of signs trying to make this work but still be so different in nature.
this was a couple days ago tho and a lot has obviously changed because I cant keep my big mouth shut.
Will 25 miles away really make that much difference? I wouldn’t consider that long distance
I work 20 miles from where I live. My boyfriend is 20 miles from there....its a 40 minute round trip....doesn't seem awful tbh
I suppose it wouldn't be that bad.
it would just be harder. his hour are opposite of mine. I have a child and weekly routine with him
I don't know. I just feel like we would see eachother less. I mean I live 3 miles from him now so its nice he can come over in be there in 5 minutes. if I am with him and need something from my place its not a issue. its just the feeling of going backwards.
As my grandmother said " If there's a will there is a way". It's going to be a test but if you guys survive it or I'd you don't...there is your answer. Sometimes you just have to relinquish some control and let the universe/life just do...
click to expand
Will 25 miles away really make that much difference? I wouldn’t consider that long distance
I work 20 miles from where I live. My boyfriend is 20 miles from there....its a 40 minute round trip....doesn't seem awful tbh
I suppose it wouldn't be that bad.
it would just be harder. his hour are opposite of mine. I have a child and weekly routine with him
I don't know. I just feel like we would see eachother less. I mean I live 3 miles from him now so its nice he can come over in be there in 5 minutes. if I am with him and need something from my place its not a issue. its just the feeling of going backwards.
As my grandmother said " If there's a will there is a way". It's going to be a test but if you guys survive it or I'd you don't...there is your answer. Sometimes you just have to relinquish some control and let the universe/life just do...
click to expand
Awwww Grandma - she is a smart lady
this is so true. and something I need to tell myself more often.
when it comes to big things like my future and my time I have serious control issues.
but the best thing is just get you feet on the ground and take life as it comes....
never as easy tho.
Will 25 miles away really make that much difference? I wouldn’t consider that long distance
I work 20 miles from where I live. My boyfriend is 20 miles from there....its a 40 minute round trip....doesn't seem awful tbh
I suppose it wouldn't be that bad.
it would just be harder. his hour are opposite of mine. I have a child and weekly routine with him
I don't know. I just feel like we would see eachother less. I mean I live 3 miles from him now so its nice he can come over in be there in 5 minutes. if I am with him and need something from my place its not a issue. its just the feeling of going backwards.
As my grandmother said " If there's a will there is a way". It's going to be a test but if you guys survive it or I'd you don't...there is your answer. Sometimes you just have to relinquish some control and let the universe/life just do...
Awwww Grandma - she is a smart lady
this is so true. and something I need to tell myself more often.
when it comes to big things like my future and my time I have serious control issues.
but the best thing is just get you feet on the ground and take life as it comes....
never as easy tho.
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I hear you 100% I have to constantly yell myself the same.
You'll be fine. I have faith in you too. I dont k ow although ita not always simple I admire your relationship from a far.
25 miles really isn't too bad. My dude does 50miles one way 2xs per week.
Best case senerio he moves in and helps with mortgage and you guys continue on.
Worst case senerio he loses his job or breaks up with you and stops paying his half. House goes into foreclosure and you lose the last 10-15 years of equity you had put from the old house into the new.
Best case senerio he moves in and helps with mortgage and you guys continue on.
Worst case senerio he loses his job or breaks up with you and stops paying his half. House goes into foreclosure and you lose the last 10-15 years of equity you had put from the old house into the new.
gurrrrllll..... omg god.
I was driving to pick up my son on sunday and I had to turn off the music and talk my self down from a really anxious moment because of that exact scenario. I don't want to depend on anyone, ive made it this far on my own, and proud of that but also I want help so bad, I mean don't we all, I want him to be the one so bad, I want it all to work out so bad but I cant let myself be dependent on that like you said.
at this point im just going to keep renting. and sit on my money until im ready to buy and live no different then ive been
I cant handle all the stress...
but good news is that in all this time and stress the past few days my bull has been saying thing that include him in. helping me problem solve my situation by include the option of us living together now, or in a year. and that's been nice.
I did take advised that I should include him in the purchase process, like looking at all the house in the MLSN portal thing and he has been making comment on what he needs and whats best for us with my son. so those have been affirming action without him saying point blank.
Will 25 miles away really make that much difference? I wouldn’t consider that long distance
I work 20 miles from where I live. My boyfriend is 20 miles from there....its a 40 minute round trip....doesn't seem awful tbh
I suppose it wouldn't be that bad.
it would just be harder. his hour are opposite of mine. I have a child and weekly routine with him
I don't know. I just feel like we would see eachother less. I mean I live 3 miles from him now so its nice he can come over in be there in 5 minutes. if I am with him and need something from my place its not a issue. its just the feeling of going backwards.
As my grandmother said " If there's a will there is a way". It's going to be a test but if you guys survive it or I'd you don't...there is your answer. Sometimes you just have to relinquish some control and let the universe/life just do...
Awwww Grandma - she is a smart lady
this is so true. and something I need to tell myself more often.
when it comes to big things like my future and my time I have serious control issues.
but the best thing is just get you feet on the ground and take life as it comes....
never as easy tho.
I hear you 100% I have to constantly yell myself the same.
You'll be fine. I have faith in you too. I dont k ow although ita not always simple I admire your relationship from a far.
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awww thanks babe.
that's really nice and made me feel good. I feel like I just complain on here about him. but it is the best relationship I have ever had, definitely challenging but at the same time it keeps it interesting.
always appreciate you and your feedback xoxo
Best case senerio he moves in and helps with mortgage and you guys continue on.
Worst case senerio he loses his job or breaks up with you and stops paying his half. House goes into foreclosure and you lose the last 10-15 years of equity you had put from the old house into the new.
gurrrrllll..... omg god.
I was driving to pick up my son on sunday and I had to turn off the music and talk my self down from a really anxious moment because of that exact scenario. I don't want to depend on anyone, ive made it this far on my own, and proud of that but also I want help so bad, I mean don't we all, I want him to be the one so bad, I want it all to work out so bad but I cant let myself be dependent on that like you said.
at this point im just going to keep renting. and sit on my money until im ready to buy and live no different then ive been
I cant handle all the stress...
but good news is that in all this time and stress the past few days my bull has been saying thing that include him in. helping me problem solve my situation by include the option of us living together now, or in a year. and that's been nice.
I did take advised that I should include him in the purchase process, like looking at all the house in the MLSN portal thing and he has been making comment on what he needs and whats best for us with my son. so those have been affirming action without him saying point blank.
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Thats good!
You also have the option to rent out your current house and rent a larger house with your man. Between the income from your renters and what he contributes to the rent you'd pretty much break even. Lower risk because all your committing to is a 1 year lease instead of a 20/30 year mortgage.
Its incredible what you can get for the money once you combine incomes. You guys should also check out houses for rent along with ones for sale. Js
Also a good test for being home owners together is being renters together first. Especially since you've never lived together.
But just including him in your process will tell you a lot on where he stands.
1. Dont ever buy a home outside of your financial means. If your plan is for it to be you and your son, stick to that plan.
2. Dont put your life on hold for anyone. Especially not someone who giving you the slow no designed as maybes.
3. Dont push people into a financial commitment. Assets are a big deal. Why would you wanna push someone into a mortgage that they dont want. No one wants to be married to a mortgage.
4. 25 miles ain't sh.it. if its important to you, you/him make the effort.
5. Dont play push/pull games.
6. Who matters to you more? Your son and his relationship with his dad or your relationship with your boyfriend.
you just slapped that SENSE into me and I took it!
thank you. you're right! 100%
and just to say. My son is my entire world, the moon, the sun. the starts and the galaxies.
everything choice I make is for him, and that includes doing things that make me the happiest as well.
if Im not happy I cant be a good mother to him, iv been down and lost and I messed up for a VERY small time in his life and I just have to provide him with positive influences, and altho my boyfriend is not his father. to me hes a better influence then his father and someone I want in my sons life. but I already know that between them,
lol - there is my control issues again with molding my future
Actually in a perfect world you refinance and take out a second mortgage on the first house and together, you and him, put down a deposit (50/50) on the new house. Make the old house purely an income property.
Thats what I would do.
This dude has been dragging his feet from jump.
I would end it.
that's just his personality. he isn't a optimistic person. he is always concerned about the negative what ifs then the positive what ifs and doesn't really push for change.
but he is a good man and makes me very happy and yeah..... im not ending it for something like this. that's too easy.
He never seems excited about your future together based on what you post.
You are right.
yeah, I can see how you could think that. he honest never seems excited about anything even the things that should make anyone really excited.... but he is SO controlled all the time. I personally hardly ever know if he is mad, sad, annoyed, content. not emotionally expressive unless drunk lol (which is something I know but is hard to grasp at times because im so different. im excited about everything, like a kid in a candy story excited. it written all over my face and my actions. and it doesn't take much to excited me. the fact that I know this about him but still is always a challenge to grasp in the moments.
that is were I think times come in. I feel all these things and I want answers right away but I know that in time he shows him self in actions. he expresses him self in random moments. or I completely call him out, like I do most of the time and he looks at me like he expects me to have known the answer the entire time. (it goes without saying)
we are such a mess of signs trying to make this work but still be so different in nature.
this was a couple days ago tho and a lot has obviously changed because I cant keep my big mouth shut.
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Don’t blame you’re self. I know you love this guy but I just don’t see it for him. 2 years is enough time to make substantial moves. You should be engaged by now and planning your future. What’s the end goal/game here? I think he is being nice and stringing you along by saying idk.
I couldn’t be with someone who wasn’t excited about our future together.
1. Dont ever buy a home outside of your financial means. If your plan is for it to be you and your son, stick to that plan.
2. Dont put your life on hold for anyone. Especially not someone who giving you the slow no designed as maybes.
3. Dont push people into a financial commitment. Assets are a big deal. Why would you wanna push someone into a mortgage that they dont want. No one wants to be married to a mortgage.
4. 25 miles ain't sh.it. if its important to you, you/him make the effort.
5. Dont play push/pull games.
6. Who matters to you more? Your son and his relationship with his dad or your relationship with your boyfriend.
I thought Scorpio moons enjoy push pull.
Bull moves in his own terms. You don't have to ask. He will initiate. Trust that.
If you are initiating and he said 'i don't know, maybe' phrase. That is obvious he is not ready yet.
So keep your goal for you and for son for now.
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as some may know.. and in a nutshell. iv been with my bull close to 2 years. we do not live together and I have a 9 year old son that he has been slowly but nicely started to get to know and be a little more present for (i.e. picking him up from school, helping with homework, playing video games with and also offering teaching moments)
anyways, I am selling my home in a different city and im going to be using the money to buy another home. I want to buy a larger home then my 900sq 2bed 2 bath that my son and I live in now. (yard, garage, 3 bedroom) I want to establish new roots and create a home for us again.. this has been a goal of mine since I became a single mother and 5 years later her I am.
anyways. its been depressing thought tho because I am either going to have to move 25 miles from my bull or im going to need him to get on board with me. Every time I have asked my bull if he would want to move in with me he says "I don't know, maybe". I have never wanted to push him to do something he doesn't want, and im understanding at his slow process when it comes to change. but him saying "I don't know, maybe" is so much worse then saying "im not ready yet" because its so inconsiderate to me. like he doesn't even think about it.
anyways fast forward to 6 month later ... im going to buy a house.
A. I buy a home in the area we both currently live and work, that is more expensive for the amount of home I want. which would be great but I would need a roommate AKA him to split the "rent" and jump on board to this commitment to live together.
B. I move further away from him, and closer to my sons dad (for the sake of my son) where homes the size I want are more affordable for me but that will obviously take a toll on my relationship because then we will be moving backwards. I wont be close enough to see him the way I do now especially with our differences in work times
I mentioned this to him. and I told him it makes me upset to think about because I don't want him and I to move in unless that's what he wants. and he said to me
"I don't know if that's something I want"
in my head I feel like he is settling for something right now when it comes to me. I feel like he is wasting my precious time. he doesn't know if this is something he wants after 2 years is a hard think to wrap my head around because I always know what I do and do not want. It hurts my feelings. I doubt his intentions. I doubt the relationship. I kinda want out if he doesn't want this.
is that wrong of me?
am I a quitter?
all im saying is apart of me wants to start the push process... the sag process of where I slowly start making my self unavailable or start making more plans that don't include time with him which will eventually just push us further apart until it ends less painfully I suppose then just getting hot headed and breaking up now.
or ..... well that's pretty much it right now because im angry and sad and pretty resentful currently
Taurus men what do you think is going on with my bull.
ladies, what would you do if you were me?