"Man Up"

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Seajatt
@Seajatt
4 Years500+ Posts

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I was cooking my lunch yesterday, and the neighbor comes over, who I had talked to a couple times before in passing, and complains that there is a snake behind her house and wanted me to come kill it. So I go over there to look at it, and it's a damn cottonmouth curled up in a position that would force me to get within striking range to either kill or capture. I called animal control, but they wanted to charge quite a bit to come get it, so I kind of shrugged at her, and told her to just avoid it. This woman literally tried to shame me into a possibly deadly situation all because she didn't like it being there. And don't get me wrong, this isn't a commentary about women, because men do the same thing; try to shame a guy into a sacrificial situation by using his masculinity as a cudgel. And of course, backing out of the situation in this paradigm they've created is emasculating. None of this is new to me, I'm just annoyed that she thought she could manipulate/shame me into a compromising situation. Younger me might have fallen for it.

And that brings me to my last point: Young dudes, if anyone, male or female, ever tries to shame you into a situation with comments like "man up" or something to a similar effect, they are trying to manipulate you into a risky/compromising/sacrificial situation that they would not subject themselves to. Flip them the bird and carry on with your business.
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Seajatt
@Seajatt
4 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 465 · Posts: 670 · Topics: 27
Posted by SassyKiwi

Why couldn’t she call her own masculine man over to do it for her? Oh das right, no one ever wanted her Karen ass.


She tried to get me to do it because she doesn't care about the possible outcome. In her mind, it was acceptable for me to possibly get bit, and possibly die. She cares about her man/other neighbors, but I'm new to the area.

This is how that "man up" shit works. It implies that said man "manning up" is expendable/sacrificial.
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Un petit pamplemousse
@SassyKiwi
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Posted by Seajatt
Posted by SassyKiwi

Why couldn’t she call her own masculine man over to do it for her? Oh das right, no one ever wanted her Karen ass.

She tried to get me to do it because she doesn't care about the possible outcome. In her mind, it was acceptable for me to possibly get bit, and possibly die. She cares about her man/other neighbors, but I'm new to the area.

This is how that "man up" shit works. It implies that said man "manning up" is expendable/sacrificial.
click to expand


Then you also bite back and say “I’m sure your man could do a better job. Do update me.” The woman’s already ruined the peace so you don’t have much else to lose.
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Seajatt
@Seajatt
4 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 465 · Posts: 670 · Topics: 27
Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by Seajatt
Posted by SassyKiwi

Why couldn’t she call her own masculine man over to do it for her? Oh das right, no one ever wanted her Karen ass.

She tried to get me to do it because she doesn't care about the possible outcome. In her mind, it was acceptable for me to possibly get bit, and possibly die. She cares about her man/other neighbors, but I'm new to the area.

This is how that "man up" shit works. It implies that said man "manning up" is expendable/sacrificial.

Then you also bite back and say “I’m sure your man could do a better job. Do update me.” The woman’s already ruined the peace so you don’t have much else to lose.
click to expand



I won't be giving her the time of day going forward, when people show you who they are, believe them.
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Un petit pamplemousse
@SassyKiwi
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Posted by Seajatt
Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by Seajatt
Posted by SassyKiwi

Why couldn’t she call her own masculine man over to do it for her? Oh das right, no one ever wanted her Karen ass.

She tried to get me to do it because she doesn't care about the possible outcome. In her mind, it was acceptable for me to possibly get bit, and possibly die. She cares about her man/other neighbors, but I'm new to the area.

This is how that "man up" shit works. It implies that said man "manning up" is expendable/sacrificial.

Then you also bite back and say “I’m sure your man could do a better job. Do update me.” The woman’s already ruined the peace so you don’t have much else to lose.

I won't be giving her the time of day going forward, when people show you who they are, believe them.
click to expand


Good. Her loss. I will never understand people who live nearby that are willing to have sour interactions with their neighbors. You never know who can end up helpful in any emergency situation. But definitely not when you have a history of being a jerk.
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Seajatt
@Seajatt
4 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 465 · Posts: 670 · Topics: 27
Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by Seajatt
Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by Seajatt
Posted by SassyKiwi

Why couldn’t she call her own masculine man over to do it for her? Oh das right, no one ever wanted her Karen ass.

She tried to get me to do it because she doesn't care about the possible outcome. In her mind, it was acceptable for me to possibly get bit, and possibly die. She cares about her man/other neighbors, but I'm new to the area.

This is how that "man up" shit works. It implies that said man "manning up" is expendable/sacrificial.

Then you also bite back and say “I’m sure your man could do a better job. Do update me.” The woman’s already ruined the peace so you don’t have much else to lose.

I won't be giving her the time of day going forward, when people show you who they are, believe them.

Good. Her loss. I will never understand people who live nearby that are willing to have sour interactions with their neighbors. You never know who can end up helpful in any emergency situation. But definitely not when you have a history of being a jerk.
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For real, and I had thought she was alright before this happened.
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Seajatt
@Seajatt
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Posted by jazzykid

I’ve witnessed similar situations where the person asked to take care of a risky/compromising/sacrificial situation is getting boosted into doing it through praise.

Don’t be a hero, man. Or if you must, be your own damn hero. lol

Lucky for you she dropped her damsel in distress mask quick.


Damn, what a poignant comment. You're too right, thanks for posting that. Praise can definitely be used to manipulate someone.
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Seajatt
@Seajatt
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Posted by PezRojoPescadoAzul

It's kinda funny to me (but actually it's sad when you really think about it because kids/teens/young adults can really fuck their lives up or die because of it) that people fall for this shit. I can't even think of a specific instance where I was pressured into something by someone explicitly saying things like this (but I'm sure it happened when I was really young), I think partly because I've always been stubborn and the second someone said something like that I'd be like "well now I'm really not doing it because you're stupid, and fuck you" and they always immediately backtrack or apologize and try some other manipulative tactic 😂

I get into enough stupid, dangerous and risky situations on my own without having to take on extra ones lol


It happens a lot, peer pressure I think is a topic that fits well into the current subject.
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borednbeautiful
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Posted by nanobotz
Posted by borednbeautiful

Don’t kill the snake, please!!

Local superstition legend says that it’s really bad karma and bad luck for years 😧

Right? The snake doesn’t need to die just for existing
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She just needs to let be in peace. She won’t harm anyone unless people bother her. They existed along humans since the beginning of time.
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Truemara
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Posted by Seajatt
Posted by jazzykid

I’ve witnessed similar situations where the person asked to take care of a risky/compromising/sacrificial situation is getting boosted into doing it through praise.

Don’t be a hero, man. Or if you must, be your own damn hero. lol

Lucky for you she dropped her damsel in distress mask quick.

Damn, what a poignant comment. You're too right, thanks for posting that. Praise can definitely be used to manipulate someone.
click to expand


I would have never contacted a neighbor to this

I’m smart enough to call animal control n take care of businesses

Maybe that’s why I feel I

Don’t need a man💁
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Seajatt
@Seajatt
4 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 465 · Posts: 670 · Topics: 27
Posted by PezRojoPescadoAzul
Posted by Seajatt
Posted by PezRojoPescadoAzul

It's kinda funny to me (but actually it's sad when you really think about it because kids/teens/young adults can really fuck their lives up or die because of it) that people fall for this shit. I can't even think of a specific instance where I was pressured into something by someone explicitly saying things like this (but I'm sure it happened when I was really young), I think partly because I've always been stubborn and the second someone said something like that I'd be like "well now I'm really not doing it because you're stupid, and fuck you" and they always immediately backtrack or apologize and try some other manipulative tactic 😂

I get into enough stupid, dangerous and risky situations on my own without having to take on extra ones lol

It happens a lot, peer pressure I think is a topic that fits well into the current subject.

One thing I was thinking about while typing this was peer pressure among teens with drugs and alcohol. That one's not as gender specific but there still is a heavy dose of "Bro don't be a pussy, just take these pills, smoke this, whatever" in that arena. Drug overdose deaths have skyrocketed through the foof in the past couple of years because of the prevelance of fentanyl and it being in fake prescription pills and stuff. I have 3 younger siblings in high school right now, 2 brothers and 1 sister. I worry for them. I feel like if I was born 5-10 years later and started my drug/alcohol career later I'd probably be dead now
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Great post, thanks for writing it. I agree, and I see some of this attitude in the trades. Not necessarily with drug usage, but where ppe is concerned.

Guy 1: *is grinding a piece of sheetmetal while wearing a respirator*

Guy 2: "what are ya wearing that for? Wifey took your man card?"

Not only is it toxic and hazardous to men, but the implied valued judgement is that women are lesser
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Soul
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Yea fuck that. If you don't have the tools or knowledge to contain a venomous or dangerous animal, you are actually in the right for not getting involved.

I always look at it as you either have the knowledge, call someone who has the knowledge, or go out and dispatch it yourself. It's not your job to chose if the animals lives or dies, and not your job to have the knowledge and tools to safely remove it.