Mishmorecookie
@Mishmorecookie
10 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 131 · Topics: 13
He said I love you and I didn't say it back
I personally wouldn't trust someone who said "I love you" just because I said it.
Posted by Mishmorecookie
This is my first time going out with a Virgo. We had a shaky start but after laying out all the cards on the table (he initiated this), he chased me. I wasn't sure because I have major trust issues but he somehow managed to convince me to start a relationship with him.
Things are moving fast because he wastes no time. He doesn't show much emotion but he is straightforward. He shows he cares through action. And I'm crazy about him. On the other hand, I have been accused of being unemotional by so many people in my life (parents included) and it has never been a problem till now.
I always think people know I care about them because I do things for them but I'm often mistaken. And a few days ago, my Virguy told me he loved me via Facetime. I was caught by surprise and replied, Okay baby.
Two days later he confronts me about it. He says he has a rule about not trusting people who don't say I love you back. I was at a loss for words, I just said, you just caught me by surprise. He changed the topic but I just know it's still lingering in his mind.
So I sent him a long text later to explain myself. I told him that I'm not great with verbalising how I feel but I'm working on it. Today he calls me and says, I was gonna reply to your "novel" last night but I fell asleep. He laughs it off but I have a feeling this is gonna come back in a couple of days.
How do I deal with this matter? He's acting like everything is fine but I know he's disturbed.
Been there, done that lol.
If you love him, say I love you to him without him saying it first. Not always easy to do, but it might work.
Just say "ily" or "I luv u" back
Mishmorecookie, it was unfair of him to force you into a predicament to say those words of sentiment in return. Everyone moves at their own pace and weighs those very words differently.
Sit down, and have a frank talk with him, letting him know that it is not black or white. Rather, you process your emotions and thoughts rather differently, to let him know he should respect it and you would rather express your emotions in a sincere manner rather than as a courteous exchange in return, to gratify him. Instead of writing this out, attempt to carry out this conversation in person, therefore he must be a willing participant in this. After all, what is a relationship without communication.
Be firm about your stance, I have been through this situation more than once before with Virgents. They may pout, sulk, or whine, eventually they will see straight and realise how irrational they are.
Sit down, and have a frank talk with him, letting him know that it is not black or white. Rather, you process your emotions and thoughts rather differently, to let him know he should respect it and you would rather express your emotions in a sincere manner rather than as a courteous exchange in return, to gratify him. Instead of writing this out, attempt to carry out this conversation in person, therefore he must be a willing participant in this. After all, what is a relationship without communication.
Be firm about your stance, I have been through this situation more than once before with Virgents. They may pout, sulk, or whine, eventually they will see straight and realise how irrational they are.
Posted by BadBoy😐Posted by TheLadyScorpiotranslation: put virgo in a corner he'll respect you.
Mishmorecookie, it was unfair of him to force you into a predicament to say those words of sentiment in return. Everyone moves at their own pace and weighs those very words differently.
Sit down, and have a frank talk with him, letting him know that it is not black or white. Rather, you process your emotions and thoughts rather differently, to let him know he should respect it and you would rather express your emotions in a sincere manner rather than as a courteous exchange in return, to gratify him. Instead of writing this out, attempt to carry out this conversation in person, therefore he must be a willing participant in this. After all, what is a relationship without communication.
Be firm about your stance, I have been through this situation more than once before with Virgents. They may pout, sulk, or whine, eventually they will see straight and realise how irrational they are.click to expand
Posted by BadBoyPosted by TheLadyScorpiotranslation: put virgo in a corner he'll respect you.
Mishmorecookie, it was unfair of him to force you into a predicament to say those words of sentiment in return. Everyone moves at their own pace and weighs those very words differently.
Sit down, and have a frank talk with him, letting him know that it is not black or white. Rather, you process your emotions and thoughts rather differently, to let him know he should respect it and you would rather express your emotions in a sincere manner rather than as a courteous exchange in return, to gratify him. Instead of writing this out, attempt to carry out this conversation in person, therefore he must be a willing participant in this. After all, what is a relationship without communication.
Be firm about your stance, I have been through this situation more than once before with Virgents. They may pout, sulk, or whine, eventually they will see straight and realise how irrational they are.click to expand
Now here's an interesting take. I noticed a few married Virguys who do pout and whine but when their wives resist, they roll over. I suppose there's some truth to what you said, @BadBoy
Posted by seraph"You know what, I'm hungry. Lets get something to eat!" hahahaha
Posted by yupvirgooMy best friend's married to a Virgo man. And every time he gets sensitive over something small, she just tells him she won't entertain him. That was while they were dating. All I'm saying is that maybe it is true that Virgo men like some resistance, not just a yes woman who simply goes along with everything.Posted by MishmorecookieWhat do you mean?Posted by BadBoyPosted by TheLadyScorpiotranslation: put virgo in a corner he'll respect you.
Mishmorecookie, it was unfair of him to force you into a predicament to say those words of sentiment in return. Everyone moves at their own pace and weighs those very words differently.
Sit down, and have a frank talk with him, letting him know that it is not black or white. Rather, you process your emotions and thoughts rather differently, to let him know he should respect it and you would rather express your emotions in a sincere manner rather than as a courteous exchange in return, to gratify him. Instead of writing this out, attempt to carry out this conversation in person, therefore he must be a willing participant in this. After all, what is a relationship without communication.
Be firm about your stance, I have been through this situation more than once before with Virgents. They may pout, sulk, or whine, eventually they will see straight and realise how irrational they are.
Now here's an interesting take. I noticed a few married Virguys who do pout and whine but when their wives resist, they roll over. I suppose there's some truth to what you said, @BadBoy
click to expand
Posted by BadBoyBadBoy, I cannot tell if you are mocking me or not, as you seem to follow me around with my posts on Virgents and their behaviours.Posted by TheLadyScorpiobut it is true...Posted by BadBoy😐Posted by TheLadyScorpiotranslation: put virgo in a corner he'll respect you.
Mishmorecookie, it was unfair of him to force you into a predicament to say those words of sentiment in return. Everyone moves at their own pace and weighs those very words differently.
Sit down, and have a frank talk with him, letting him know that it is not black or white. Rather, you process your emotions and thoughts rather differently, to let him know he should respect it and you would rather express your emotions in a sincere manner rather than as a courteous exchange in return, to gratify him. Instead of writing this out, attempt to carry out this conversation in person, therefore he must be a willing participant in this. After all, what is a relationship without communication.
Be firm about your stance, I have been through this situation more than once before with Virgents. They may pout, sulk, or whine, eventually they will see straight and realise how irrational they are.
click to expand
Hah Mishmorecookie, to be with a Virgent you would have to learn to be able to stand your ground when necessary because they have a terrible habit of refusing what they do not feel comfortable with or sensitive to or simply find disagreeable, for whatever irrational reason.
You would imagine such seemingly logical and rational creatures to have some sense but when they are in their tunnels of resistance, nothing will reach them.
If they have a concrete set idea of something, it takes sheer stubborn will and refusal to get them to change their thinking or mindset. They will at times, do such stupid things as to hurt themselves, to their own detriment.
It is very much mind - boggling, an example of such is a refusal to get medical attention, or an annual physical check up at the physicians, etc. even when evidently they are not well or have symptoms of being unwell. They would outright bring on arguments, an outright war, if you seemingly nag them, even when you lay out the logical rational of it all.
Their resistance, or fear, or sensitivity is quite something, never to be underestimated, and should a woman wish to be at their sides. You must be prepared to be very firm, insistent, even down right refusing him of certain things if he does not step out of his irrational tunnel vision.
I have had my share of arguments with my Virgent on various subject matters. At times, it takes multiple arguments, then a period of ignorance (therefore I could recover from the drain of having to fight), back to arguments again. Rinse and repeat, until he eventually changed his mind and saw rational. Keep in mind, a few of such subject matters, took a very very very long time to achieve. If I told you how long, you would have found it mind boggling. That such grown men would have such a backwards mindset, logic is simply thrown out the window then they are stuck. Utterly, and completely. 😐
You would imagine such seemingly logical and rational creatures to have some sense but when they are in their tunnels of resistance, nothing will reach them.
If they have a concrete set idea of something, it takes sheer stubborn will and refusal to get them to change their thinking or mindset. They will at times, do such stupid things as to hurt themselves, to their own detriment.
It is very much mind - boggling, an example of such is a refusal to get medical attention, or an annual physical check up at the physicians, etc. even when evidently they are not well or have symptoms of being unwell. They would outright bring on arguments, an outright war, if you seemingly nag them, even when you lay out the logical rational of it all.
Their resistance, or fear, or sensitivity is quite something, never to be underestimated, and should a woman wish to be at their sides. You must be prepared to be very firm, insistent, even down right refusing him of certain things if he does not step out of his irrational tunnel vision.
I have had my share of arguments with my Virgent on various subject matters. At times, it takes multiple arguments, then a period of ignorance (therefore I could recover from the drain of having to fight), back to arguments again. Rinse and repeat, until he eventually changed his mind and saw rational. Keep in mind, a few of such subject matters, took a very very very long time to achieve. If I told you how long, you would have found it mind boggling. That such grown men would have such a backwards mindset, logic is simply thrown out the window then they are stuck. Utterly, and completely. 😐
Posted by BadBoyWell, that clarifies it.Posted by TheLadyScorpioNo....I thought they were very accurate, scorpio.Posted by BadBoyBadBoy, I cannot tell if you are mocking me or not, as you seem to follow me around with my posts on Virgents and their behaviours.Posted by TheLadyScorpiobut it is true...Posted by BadBoy😐Posted by TheLadyScorpiotranslation: put virgo in a corner he'll respect you.
Mishmorecookie, it was unfair of him to force you into a predicament to say those words of sentiment in return. Everyone moves at their own pace and weighs those very words differently.
Sit down, and have a frank talk with him, letting him know that it is not black or white. Rather, you process your emotions and thoughts rather differently, to let him know he should respect it and you would rather express your emotions in a sincere manner rather than as a courteous exchange in return, to gratify him. Instead of writing this out, attempt to carry out this conversation in person, therefore he must be a willing participant in this. After all, what is a relationship without communication.
Be firm about your stance, I have been through this situation more than once before with Virgents. They may pout, sulk, or whine, eventually they will see straight and realise how irrational they are.
click to expand
Oh, and I just realised you are VirgoFlirt. Welcome back. 🙂
Posted by tizianiAs a man - does it matter if you love a woman and she didn't say I love you back...if you get mad doesn't it mean you love yourself more?
You should explain face to face. You'll have better odds of understanding when one another is coming from.
Frigging ego!
Who cares? If I love you - I will MAKE you to say it!
Later. And every day after that! LOL
Posted by CapriquaintrelleOr who doesn't do in person, at the first declaration.
I personally wouldn't trust someone who said "I love you" just because I said it.
How many people has he said this to, if he has a Policy on it?
Hmm...
@OP... have you said it back yet?
Or no.
Posted by MontgomeryHe muttered it once in person before and this was the second time, over the phone. It's been a few days since it happened and I have since told him yes, I do have intense feelings for him and I'm definitely heading in that direction.Posted by CapriquaintrelleOr who doesn't do in person, at the first declaration.
I personally wouldn't trust someone who said "I love you" just because I said it.
How many people has he said this to, if he has a Policy on it?
Hmm...
@OP... have you said it back yet?
Or no.
click to expand
I think perhaps sometimes he feels a little insecure and needs reassurance, even if he doesn't show it. I suppose we all do. But this still is new to me since my last real relationship was with a Sagittarian. That guy was almost completely unemotional hahaha.
Rather he seemed detached, much like me. But deep down inside we fire signs do care. It just doesn't translate well verbally.
cold
An update, I was right. The issue resurfaced tonight over the phone. At the end of the conversation, he said "I love you baby, take care." To which I replied "Alright."
And so he says "You're gonna have to say it one day."
And as he starts to blab on, I quickly say "I love you too. You know how I feel."
He laughs it off and says "Good or I'd have been really upset with you."
I told him not to be upset and he laughs again, just brushing it off.
No point sweating the small stuff, that's my motto. Pick your battles I guess. But with this happening so early on in the relationship, I can say with confidence that I'm in for an emotional ride. Any advice or tips for dealing with future issues, Virgos?
And so he says "You're gonna have to say it one day."
And as he starts to blab on, I quickly say "I love you too. You know how I feel."
He laughs it off and says "Good or I'd have been really upset with you."
I told him not to be upset and he laughs again, just brushing it off.
No point sweating the small stuff, that's my motto. Pick your battles I guess. But with this happening so early on in the relationship, I can say with confidence that I'm in for an emotional ride. Any advice or tips for dealing with future issues, Virgos?
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Things are moving fast because he wastes no time. He doesn't show much emotion but he is straightforward. He shows he cares through action. And I'm crazy about him. On the other hand, I have been accused of being unemotional by so many people in my life (parents included) and it has never been a problem till now.
I always think people know I care about them because I do things for them but I'm often mistaken. And a few days ago, my Virguy told me he loved me via Facetime. I was caught by surprise and replied, Okay baby.
Two days later he confronts me about it. He says he has a rule about not trusting people who don't say I love you back. I was at a loss for words, I just said, you just caught me by surprise. He changed the topic but I just know it's still lingering in his mind.
So I sent him a long text later to explain myself. I told him that I'm not great with verbalising how I feel but I'm working on it. Today he calls me and says, I was gonna reply to your "novel" last night but I fell asleep. He laughs it off but I have a feeling this is gonna come back in a couple of days.
How do I deal with this matter? He's acting like everything is fine but I know he's disturbed.