Virgo Guy has asked me out at least 4 times

Then take a bus or the train. If you were too busy, the traffic would likely not have been mentioned in your post. Just tell him what your schedule is like.

If you keep brushing him off, he will get discouraged and stop...then you will start...

He will either think that you are playing games or not interested (pick one or both)

They need to be around us and spend time with us in the beginning, gems don't necessarily have to.

Posted by gemeliorist
Then take a bus or the train. If you were too busy, the traffic would likely not have been mentioned in your post. Just tell him what your schedule is like.

If you keep brushing him off, he will get discouraged and stop...then you will start...

He will either think that you are playing games or not interested (pick one or both)

They need to be around us and spend time with us in the beginning, gems don't necessarily have to.

I live in a small town in the south. There are no buses, no trains, no taxi's.

Sorry, can't relate to that part. Ask him to come to you then and explain this no public mode of transportation and your issue with traffic.
They can be accommodating like gems.

I'm sure you guys will find away, it can't be that difficult. You have to show effort even if you think it is really difficult. So find a solution.

Posted by gemeliorist
Sorry, can't relate to that part. Ask him to come to you then and explain this no public mode of transportation and your issue with traffic.
They can be accommodating like gems.

I'm sure you guys will find away, it can't be that difficult. You have to show effort even if you think it is really difficult. So find a solution.

Thanks for your answers! I will text or call him tomorrow to work something out.

Ok, sounds good. They read into everything and something that you might not consider serious. They do. Not to psych you out or anything but he's watching everything like you are except he has a purpose. 🙂

Posted by gemeliorist
Ok, sounds good. They read into everything and something that you might not consider serious. They do. Not to psych you out or anything but he's watching everything like you are except he has a purpose. 🙂

lol..That sounds kinda creepy..what do you mean he is watching everything except he has purpose?

Posted by koolgemi


Now, he only calls or text every 2 weeks to ask can we hang out or meet somewhere.

You should tell him to fuck off until he knows how to act like a real gentleman and quit being so lazy.

Seriously, how half assed and lame on his part. He's interested, but only gets in touch once every few weeks to "hang out?"

Pfft. What happened to keeping in touch more frequently to go on a proper date? Guys are so lazy and tacky anymore. "Hanging out" is the pussy way to ask for a date.

I wouldn't stress over this much anymore if I were you. You like the guy, but he's showing he's luke warm toward you and you're fretting over when/if you can meet or "hang out?" If you really want to see the guy, you should just wait until the proper circumstances occur- aka a situation where it would work out well for both of you. Otherwise, given his lack of actual interest, you shouldn't really stress over "hanging out" because of his half assed harassment of you doing so.

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by koolgemi


Now, he only calls or text every 2 weeks to ask can we hang out or meet somewhere.

You should tell him to fuck off until he knows how to act like a real gentleman and quit being so lazy.

Seriously, how half assed and lame on his part. He's interested, but only gets in touch once every few weeks to "hang out?"

Pfft. What happened to keeping in touch more frequently to go on a proper date? Guys are so lazy and tacky anymore. "Hanging out" is the pussy way to ask for a date.

I wouldn't stress over this much anymore if I were you. You like the guy, but he's showing he's luke warm toward you and you're fretting over when/if you can meet or "hang out?" If you really want to see the guy, you should just wait until the proper circumstances occur- aka a situation where it would work out well for both of you. Otherwise, given his lack of actual interest, you shouldn't really stress over "hanging out" because of his half assed harassment of you doing so.

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Thanks for your answer! He use to text or call every day or every other day last month which was when we started talking. However, lately we dont talk as much because I guess he thinks I'm making up excuses. Any time he calls now it always leads in the end to him asking me to hang out or get dinner together.

Then explain your situation and see if you can work something out. It seems as if you're just beating around the bush and giving off the wrong impression if that's the case.

But I still think he's being lame by referring to it as "hanging out." Given the age range here, it doesn't surprise me, but "hang out" has become a popular, yet unacceptable, way to propose a date. Why? "Date" is oh so scurry and srs.

I dunno, I just find it sad. :/

You need to make sure you communicate better too. Don't be one of those bitches that guys complain about. "She was so hot/cold. She was jerking me around!" From what you've shared, you're giving off the impression that you're feeding an "I'm too busy" excuse, which is universal for "not interested."

I disagree on the notion that saying "hanging out" is always a pussy way of asking someone out, I've used both ways and sometimes its nicer for the other person not to feel the pressure that a "first date" brings along, personally Im not afraid of asking someone out on a date directly, but I have dealt with girls that do prefer for things to start slowly and without much pressure, so the "hanging out" approach is the most suitable in such a case, it really just depends on the people youre dealing with, you have to adapt and us Virgos are masters at that 😉

Having said that, Im a Virgo in love with a Gemini right now too, its heaven so far 🙂

Personally, I refer to meeting up with a guy as 'dating' unless they're a friend of mine then we just meet up.

Here in the UK we don't use 'hanging out' to describe dating or meeting up.

My recent experience of 'dating' in the USA was that dating and hanging out were two different things.

It was said to me by a 34 year old American guy that he's not used to 'dating' and mainly spends time with his 'buddies'. He then started to refer to 'hanging out' Instead of dating. It was like dating suggested something more serious with serious consequences or something!!

It didn't bother me which term was used but hanging out always reminds me of young people in their school days but I can see it can be used as a less serious form of dating.

I just found the whole experience a little immature.

I think in the case of the OP and given that the guy has been asking her out for the last month and she's found every excuse not to go that he's justified to pull back on the contact yet he's still pursuing and has asked her to 'hang out' and go for dinner etc so to me that would be a friendly date although I agree with Rocky about the manning up and dating bit but given they are only 21 perhaps hanging out is a good start.

Just go out with him. You know you want to otherwise you wouldn't be on here talking about it! Virgo's do tend to over analyses just as the other person said. Keep it clear and simple, he can come to you, job done!

You say nothing in here to suggest that you have an interest in him.

If you did have an interest in him, then you wouldn't have excuses. You do have excuses.

Why would you lead him on that like? Are you a player? A person of integrity would nip it in the bud, rather than let him continue to chase.


My hope is that he finally realizes your deceptive, and ices you out.

* you're

No one has to get it but the two of you 🙂 you decide how you want to proceed with this and let him know. If you??re unsure about your feelings let him know that and take your time and don't be too afraid or worried about how he feels or hurting him. It always ends up being much worse if you withhold your intentions.

If it takes awhile to understand your own feelings and needs so be it (you??re 21 so more than ok), just be honest with yourself and him. Whatever your past experiences, if the friendship route is more comfortable then do that as long as you make it clear that is how you want it. He is free to decline.

Don't let the negative comments sway you, it's only another??s opinion and has absolutely nothing to do with you. Including my own. So go and have fun without loosing yourself and he??ll survive whichever way this goes.🙂

Not even reading anything past the "at least 4 times" title.

From that alone, you're proud of dangling a carrot in front of a guy. Suit yourself.

Posted by koolgemi

Should I tell him that I'm not comfortable driving right now to his city or should I just let it go? It seems that he is not going to stop asking me. Please Help :/

You're an Air Sign.

Use those EXACT words.
(see bolded and underlined text)

A non-communicating Gem is an oxymoron.

unless either of you are holding back on honest sharing, ask directly. You want something, he wants something. You're just hesitant to drive into the city. You can summarize it so simply here so give that back to him unless there's something else.

Posted by Damnata
Not even reading anything past the "at least 4 times" title.

From that alone, you're proud of dangling a carrot in front of a guy. Suit yourself.

I second that

Of course there's something else.

An honest and genuine person wouldn't play attention games, and wouldn't lead a person on.

In the end, it's those women who grow old alone ... because nobody ever really loves a Princess with entitlement issues.

Posted by P-Angel

Of course there's something else.

An honest and genuine person wouldn't play attention games, and wouldn't lead a person on.

In the end, it's those women who grow old alone ... because nobody ever really loves a Princess with entitlement issues.

No, it really isnt anything else. That is the main reason why. I dont have any entitlement issues either. I hate that whole "princess" concept actually.

Posted by virgowithasoul
unless either of you are holding back on honest sharing, ask directly. You want something, he wants something. You're just hesitant to drive into the city. You can summarize it so simply here so give that back to him unless there's something else.

You are right. I am going to tell him exactly what I said on here.Hopefully, he understands.

Posted by P-Angel

You say nothing in here to suggest that you have an interest in him.

If you did have an interest in him, then you wouldn't have excuses. You do have excuses.

Why would you lead him on that like? Are you a player? A person of integrity would nip it in the bud, rather than let him continue to chase.


My hope is that he finally realizes your deceptive, and ices you out.

Lol..Why are every one of your post so negative? I do really like him, which I was I want to tell him so bad. However, I can hear him criticizing me about right now. Because he has did it before. When I told him I was scared of heights he kept saying how I needed to just try to face my fear. If I didnt really like him then I would have never been talking to him for this long.

Posted by gemeliorist
No one has to get it but the two of you 🙂 you decide how you want to proceed with this and let him know. If you??re unsure about your feelings let him know that and take your time and don't be too afraid or worried about how he feels or hurting him. It always ends up being much worse if you withhold your intentions.

If it takes awhile to understand your own feelings and needs so be it (you??re 21 so more than ok), just be honest with yourself and him. Whatever your past experiences, if the friendship route is more comfortable then do that as long as you make it clear that is how you want it. He is free to decline.

Don't let the negative comments sway you, it's only another??s opinion and has absolutely nothing to do with you. Including my own. So go and have fun without loosing yourself and he??ll survive whichever way this goes.🙂

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Thanks for all your advice..it is really helpful!

Posted by AgentP911
Personally, I refer to meeting up with a guy as 'dating' unless they're a friend of mine then we just meet up.

Here in the UK we don't use 'hanging out' to describe dating or meeting up.

My recent experience of 'dating' in the USA was that dating and hanging out were two different things.

It was said to me by a 34 year old American guy that he's not used to 'dating' and mainly spends time with his 'buddies'. He then started to refer to 'hanging out' Instead of dating. It was like dating suggested something more serious with serious consequences or something!!

It didn't bother me which term was used but hanging out always reminds me of young people in their school days but I can see it can be used as a less serious form of dating.

I just found the whole experience a little immature.

I think in the case of the OP and given that the guy has been asking her out for the last month and she's found every excuse not to go that he's justified to pull back on the contact yet he's still pursuing and has asked her to 'hang out' and go for dinner etc so to me that would be a friendly date although I agree with Rocky about the manning up and dating bit but given they are only 21 perhaps hanging out is a good start.

Just go out with him. You know you want to otherwise you wouldn't be on here talking about it! Virgo's do tend to

Posted by koolgemi

Posted by P-Angel

You say nothing in here to suggest that you have an interest in him.

If you did have an interest in him, then you wouldn't have excuses. You do have excuses.

Why would you lead him on that like? Are you a player? A person of integrity would nip it in the bud, rather than let him continue to chase.


My hope is that he finally realizes your deceptive, and ices you out.

Lol..Why are every one of your post so negative? I do really like him, which I was I want to tell him so bad. However, I can hear him criticizing me about right now. Because he has did it before. When I told him I was scared of heights he kept saying how I needed to just try to face my fear. If I didnt really like him then I would have never been talking to him for this long.

click to expand

It's because she's an arsehole! Nevermind, every forum has to have at least one! 😉

Actually some of her posts are actually rather good and insightful. Sometimes telling it how it is can be good as she might see something others are missing although she could 'pink and fluffy' it up once or twice 😉