geminiwithataurusman
@geminiwithataurusman
4 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 155 · Topics: 1
My Taurus husband cheating on me (Page 5)
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Posted by bmoon8
This can’t be real. I just... can’t. This has got to be a damn troll.
bmoon8 this is very real and this is my real life. I am constantly battling do I bring this up because there is a complete fear of my family being lost. I don't know who would joke about their family in this way.
Posted by geminiwithataurusmanPosted by jeanePosted by geminiwithataurusmanPosted by jeanePosted by geminiwithataurusmanPosted by jeanePosted by geminiwithataurusmanPosted by jeanePosted by geminiwithataurusman
An update, and if anyone has any thoughts or advice, thank you.
I still have not told him that I know what I know. This week we have been busy, it was lots of family events at our house, so we hosted alot. At the bbq yesterday, he left his phone in our room while he was grilling and when I went to change, I saw it, of course curiosity because I felt with how much we have been together, there could be no way he is still carrying on with that woman. I found that during our beach weekend getaway, they still maintained communication and even saw each other upon our return back into our city. That while as a family this week, we have been so busy with family in town, working from home, etc, he still has talked to this woman. My initial thought is that I am well beyond pissed because I don't get why he is so spent on reaching out to this woman. I am also thinking yes I am pissed but she is also getting the short end of the stick. I guess this is my ego speaking and I need to relinquish this. She is not at our home while we so everything we have done this week and prior, beach weekends, mini trips, home life, she gets moments and phone calls, and someone said they have a "soul connection" , minor moments and phone calls aren't much. Looks to me that this may be something to do. I am not trying to forget what is happening but I am also trying to not hastily throw away our marriage especially if both him and I want to be together.
she's not in your home...she is really....she is in his head (and your head for that matter). she is very much in your home.
Thank you Jeane. Isnt it better to be in someone's physical presence rather than the head? I occupy both. I am trying to look at things from a logical perspective.
are you guys sleeping together? are you in his physical presence or are you existing in the same space?
i don't think you have told us how old your children are. are they very young?
i think it boils down to is this the marriage you want? this is the marriage you have. she is not temporary. it's been 3 years. he contacts her when you are away together. he contacts her when he gets back.
i see you have three options...
i) do nothing and accept this situation hoping that it will end one day
ii) tell him what you know and as you say, he wants to stay in the marriage - work on your marriage together
iii) tell him what you know and as you want to give him a choice, tell him he has to decide. if he decided that he is not prepared to leave her, then consider if you would be happy with option i.
that's looking at things logically. i suspect that you are going to choose option i. no shame in that. it works out better for your kids, better for you financially, better for him because he remains happy in his current situation.
jeane, we sleep together in the same room and we have sex maybe 1-3 times a month. Our kids range from ages 9-18. Its very hard wanting to not mess up our children's lives and stop the love I have for him as well, but I do not want him with anyone else because if we are a family, he shouldn't have anyone else.
i think you have to weigh up who comes first in this, you or your children because if your taurus is anything like mine, 1-3 times a month of sex means he is meeting up with his mistress a lot.
(admittedly me and the taurus don't have children but we have been together for nearly 7 years now (we don't live together and he has child responsibilities to factor in) and if anything we have more sex now than we did when we first got together.)
i don't see him leaving her on his own volition. i think he loves her. he could very well love you too (though not in the same way) but then it goes back to is this kind of marriage enough for you?
i can appreciate you not wanting to mess up your kids lives. could you hold your tongue for the next 9-10 years+ or so for the sake of your kids? maybe put your theory to the test and see if things don't last with her? of course, even if they don't last with her, there is no guarantee that he won't start with someone new. this is option i.
however, if option i is off the table then you are left with options ii and iii.
Thank you jeane. I have been writing these responses down and it is helping me in my thought process. I definitely know I cannot hold my tongue for the next 9-10 years, it is taking a lot for me to say anything now. Oh your guy is a Taurus, honestly I do not see him having any time to see her. We have been working from home for the past year, and he mostly goes out for groceries and odds and ends, so I doubt they are having much sex either. He is mostly at home. jeane, what do you think about the post I just posted about what he did today? Thank you.
oh they find time. don't you worry. when i first met my fella he was working two jobs -starting at 9am and finishing at 3 the following morning. he was looking after kids over the weekends, took them to school in the morning and picked them up in the afternoon. we still found time.
social media? to me it looks like a front. for years my partner put on a front with his now ex-wife. would do all the family things, parent-teacher night, days out, holidays. he was miserable for about 2/3rds of his marriage. although he had ample opportunity he never cheated on her though.
now with me and him, there is no mention of us on social media. about 5-10 people know about us. i don't actually even think his ex-wife knows about us. they are very good at showing and keeping hidden what they want to.
i wouldn't concentrate on the superficial. it's easy to put value in the mask while ignoring that everyday he lies to you, everyday he deceives you. he puts on a front to you because he doesn't share the full story. i wouldn't be distracted by what is happening on social media and ignoring what is happening straight to my face.
Thank you jeane for this explanation. May i ask how long were they married? I did see in a text message, they were discussing how private they are, and I was thinking she doesn't know my husband at all, because he isn't private.
Thank you again.click to expand
married for i think 18 years? married young. married because she fell pregnant.
i have a feeling she might know your husband better than you at this point...
Posted by bmoon8Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by bmoon8
This song is from the other woman
I’m trying to piss this woman off enough to do something beneficial to herself and life.
But she will probably get mad at me and argue with me. Meanwhile, the other woman is the badass in this story. That is if this story is real... I have my doubts. Something like this happen to me and there would be enough emotional explosions to drive the piece of shit out of my life. I would not be calm, composed, and talking online to strangers about it.click to expand
If her man investing in a life with another woman doesn't piss her off then nothing internet strangers say is gonna make a dent.
I try to be understanding because she has kids and I don't know what that is like. Maybe it'll sink in when this other woman starts having his children. IDK people are weird. I couldn't waste more time on someone who has checked out. When you've spent the majority of your life with someone and lost your identity in being his wife and mother of his children the unknown is scary, not liberating.
The ultimate losers in this situation will be her kids. They will need some serious therapy not only to get over the abandonment issues with their father choosing another woman (and the kids and family he will start with her) over them. But also the reality of having a mother who actively chose to be a doormat and accept the disrespect.
We tend to turn into our parents. So the option to be the cheater or chose the cheater... shit options.
Posted by jeanePosted by geminiwithataurusmanPosted by jeanePosted by geminiwithataurusmanPosted by pisceanlovesPosted by geminiwithataurusmanPosted by pisceanloves
1. You found out he has been having full blown up relationship with someone else for 3 years and counting..
2. You read messages and you know he is involved emotionally with another..
3. He told you he has checked out from your relationship long ago..
One question I can't wrap my head around is that how on earth can you convince yourself it's nothing?? How can you believe it's a lie or it will go away and the issue will resolve by itself??
Honestly how—
I'm so sorry but I agree to your cousin completely.
Thank you pisceanloves. To respond to each number:
1/2. Yes, I have but I have this hope and notion, that she will eventually fall off. My philosophy I guess, if he didn't love me, he would of left. This may sound crazy but it is what I have believe. He has never pulled the trigger on our marriage.
3. He did tell me that years ago, but that was also in an argument. In arguments so many things are said, I have called him harsh things in the heat of the moment and never thought about leaving our marriage.
One question I can't wrap my head around is that how on earth can you convince yourself it's nothing?? How can you believe it's a lie or it will go away and the issue will resolve by itself??
I guess because I look at our years together as a unit, as a couple. We have built a family. We have been together since high school. We have so many friends and family that look up to us. years vs 3 years is nothing I see him leaving his family for. I am trying to process all of my thoughts and the sting of what I read but I think I said this before, it was like I was reading a book because my husband shows up. He has not indicated he doesn't love me. He even bought me a new ring when the pandemic started. That in itself to me, says he loves me and our marriage. I do not approve of this but I do think 3 years is something temporary over something we have known since high school.
That's not something I'd settle for to be honest but this is your life..
You are way too positive about the whole thing. People change throughout the years and outgrow each other, if that wasn't the case he wouldn't go elsewhere. You are walking on a thin ice that may break anytime, please don't say we didn't warn you.. All the best to you but I don't think you are in love with him either, seems like more business kind of partnership than love. You sound way too cool about the situation..
I wanted to post what I posted earlier.
It is not that I am not upset. I'm pissed and I am hurt. I have cursed and screamed and felt sorry for myself. I have sat and looked at the wall for hours not understanding anything that I have read. Going between the actions of how he is in our marriage and everything that I have read. My cousin had me make a list of the things that I see in our marriage that never drew any flags up for me and I will list them here too.
1. He hasn't left physically or made me think he doesn't love me. He says it.
2. He makes it a priority to still take us out as a family and do things as a family. He doesn't exclude me in these things, if anything he makes sure, I am on board and we discuss what exactly we are doing and how we are doing it.
3. Friends, and other marital couples-our friends have couples nights, etc, and he attends with a smile on his face and actively present. If I bring up an event, he asks what time and the particulars, and we attend as a couple-no hesitation.
4. Extended family events-again, he shows up happily. He doesnt make any excuses to stay at home, he is right along side me and the kids.
5. Our children events-we tackle those together. again he never makes excuses or asks me to sit out. We do those together.
6. He bought me a new marital ring when before the pandemic happened for valentines day. To me, that shows a commitment to our marriage and me. I did not ask for this new ring.
7. Social media-he doesn't hide me. He post for all holidays, and special occasions. He addresses me as his wife. There is no hiding from our world, our family, our friends. If he was on his way out, I feel that these would be non existent.
8. He still comes home every night-he comes home every night and he has not made any indication that he wants to not be at home. Again, active with our children, etc
9. We don't argue. we have a disagreement here or there but we do not argue. There are no bad days. We get along great.
10. He is still here. He has not left in any capacity.
I absolutely do love him. He again is all ive known in my adult life. From a high school relationship to adult. We have had many roads together.
"He has not left in any capacity."
not true. part of him left three years ago when he turned to her instead of you. this part you no longer have.
Thank you Jeane. I am speaking from a place of what is known and shown I suppose. If I wouldn't of saw that text message flash across the screen and kept reading, I wouldn't have known about this.
You say a part of him left 3 years ago when turned to her instead of you. He is still married to me, and hasn't decided to leave so what I mean when I say he hasn't left in any capacity, I mean, he is choosing to stay and still here. This morning as we were doing our daily morning routine, I was sad and I guess he saw this on my face, he came and gave me a kiss on the cheek and went into his office to work. I didn't ask him to do that. To me, he is still trying to maintain our marriage, I guess is why I am wondering if this woman is serious, he is still functioning as my husband. If someone wants to leave a relationship, don't they usually just leave?
physically he is with you...except when he is with her.
so do you think he would speak to her for years, make plans with her, seek comfort and advice from her but she is not serious? meaning he would do that with anyone?
you don't have his thoughts
you don't have his honesty
you don't have his secrets
you don't have his sex
you don't have his vulnerability
you have his outward expression
you have his mask
you have his obligation
you have his financial support
you have his care
do you have his love?
do you have him?click to expand
Brutal.. The truth will certainly hurt
It’s times like these we need P-Angel
Posted by bmoon8Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by bmoon8
This song is from the other woman
I’m trying to piss this woman off enough to do something beneficial to herself and life.
But she will probably get mad at me and argue with me. Meanwhile, the other woman is the badass in this story. That is if this story is real... I have my doubts. Something like this happen to me and there would be enough emotional explosions to drive the piece of shit out of my life. I would not be calm, composed, and talking online to strangers about it.click to expand
Thank you bmoon8. I don't understand how someone would come online and talk to strangers as you put it with a fake story. It is very easy to boast and yell to the wind, what you would do in a situation when you are not in the situation. I talk to strangers about it because all our friends are mutual friends and I am not ready to let that type of story out. My college friend told me about this site to gain more perspective. I have been in a relationship with the same man for over 20 years, so yes I am not trying to hastily throw away our marriage because we have children involved and also matters of the heart.
Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by bmoon8Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by bmoon8
This song is from the other woman
I’m trying to piss this woman off enough to do something beneficial to herself and life.
But she will probably get mad at me and argue with me. Meanwhile, the other woman is the badass in this story. That is if this story is real... I have my doubts. Something like this happen to me and there would be enough emotional explosions to drive the piece of shit out of my life. I would not be calm, composed, and talking online to strangers about it.
If her man investing in a life with another woman doesn't piss her off then nothing internet strangers say is gonna make a dent.
I try to be understanding because she has kids and I don't know what that is like. Maybe it'll sink in when this other woman starts having his children. IDK people are weird. I couldn't waste more time on someone who has checked out. When you've spent the majority of your life with someone and lost your identity in being his wife and mother of his children the unknown is scary, not liberating.
The ultimate losers in this situation will be her kids. They will need some serious therapy not only to get over the abandonment issues with their father choosing another woman (and the kids and family he will start with her) over them. But also the reality of having a mother who actively chose to be a doormat and accept the disrespect.
We tend to turn into our parents. So the option to be the cheater or chose the cheater... shit options.click to expand
Thank you LadyNeptune. As previously stated they have talked about children within the messages I have seen, and there will be no additional children. She has children as well. You say "investing in a life" I understand the quote but investing in a life is much more than owning a business together. There is no family home, there are no bonds created, there are no family ties so when you say "investing in a life with another woman" where does the investment lie? Not to protect him, but if he were to leave me, my fear would be he would take our children, our children are his life and years ago in an argument or two he has told me that I could leave and the children will stay.
Yes I have a calm demeanor on the internet, but my everyday is a train wreck. I am emotionally a mess and try to persevere everyday for my sake as well as my children. Hastily removing myself from my family is a decision that I feel should be concise and done with precision. I am not okay but I am also trying to access the situation for what it is and won't leave for a temporary thing.
I'm sorry but if that fucker gave a shit about his kids he would know that separating kids from their mom is the worst way to scar them. How old are your kids and do they whats going on?
I would get the best divorce lawyer I could and take him to the cleaners....
Posted by bmoon8Posted by geminiwithataurusmanPosted by bmoon8Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by bmoon8
This song is from the other woman
I’m trying to piss this woman off enough to do something beneficial to herself and life.
But she will probably get mad at me and argue with me. Meanwhile, the other woman is the badass in this story. That is if this story is real... I have my doubts. Something like this happen to me and there would be enough emotional explosions to drive the piece of shit out of my life. I would not be calm, composed, and talking online to strangers about it.
Thank you bmoon8. I don't understand how someone would come online and talk to strangers as you put it with a fake story. It is very easy to boast and yell to the wind, what you would do in a situation when you are not in the situation. I talk to strangers about it because all our friends are mutual friends and I am not ready to let that type of story out. My college friend told me about this site to gain more perspective. I have been in a relationship with the same man for over 20 years, so yes I am not trying to hastily throw away our marriage because we have children involved and also matters of the heart.
How old are your children?click to expand
Between 9-18
Posted by bmoon8
The other woman is winning so far....
Hello bmoon8, can you explain the "winning". I have read this thread over and over as I gain the strength to bring this to our marital table. How is she winning when :
1. She doesn't live with him
2. She is a secret
3. She doesn't have his children
4. She doesn't spend nights, family outings and times that are considered sacred with him
5. She has no real commitment (marriage, family ties, etc)
I don't see that as winning honestly.
Posted by geminiwithataurusmanPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by bmoon8Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by bmoon8
This song is from the other woman
I’m trying to piss this woman off enough to do something beneficial to herself and life.
But she will probably get mad at me and argue with me. Meanwhile, the other woman is the badass in this story. That is if this story is real... I have my doubts. Something like this happen to me and there would be enough emotional explosions to drive the piece of shit out of my life. I would not be calm, composed, and talking online to strangers about it.
If her man investing in a life with another woman doesn't piss her off then nothing internet strangers say is gonna make a dent.
I try to be understanding because she has kids and I don't know what that is like. Maybe it'll sink in when this other woman starts having his children. IDK people are weird. I couldn't waste more time on someone who has checked out. When you've spent the majority of your life with someone and lost your identity in being his wife and mother of his children the unknown is scary, not liberating.
The ultimate losers in this situation will be her kids. They will need some serious therapy not only to get over the abandonment issues with their father choosing another woman (and the kids and family he will start with her) over them. But also the reality of having a mother who actively chose to be a doormat and accept the disrespect.
We tend to turn into our parents. So the option to be the cheater or chose the cheater... shit options.
Thank you LadyNeptune. As previously stated they have talked about children within the messages I have seen, and there will be no additional children. She has children as well. You say "investing in a life" I understand the quote but investing in a life is much more than owning a business together. There is no family home, there are no bonds created, there are no family ties so when you say "investing in a life with another woman" where does the investment lie? Not to protect him, but if he were to leave me, my fear would be he would take our children, our children are his life and years ago in an argument or two he has told me that I could leave and the children will stay.
Yes I have a calm demeanor on the internet, but my everyday is a train wreck. I am emotionally a mess and try to persevere everyday for my sake as well as my children. Hastily removing myself from my family is a decision that I feel should be concise and done with precision. I am not okay but I am also trying to access the situation for what it is and won't leave for a temporary thing.click to expand
Lol you should know more than most that plans don't always align with reality. Just because you read a few texts does not mean you know the entirety of what they discuss. Not even close. Don't be naïve.
Children aren't always planned for after all. You should know all about that... remember? "I got pregnant at 18 and he decided he wanted to always be around his child everyday and that we were going to be a family."
If your children were not in the picture he would've left you by now. But not having to pay child support and alimony will weigh heavily on him and cause him to not leave the marriage... right now.
He is investing his money, his time, and his dick in someone else. And throws you some sm pics and holidays to keep you complacent.
If you can share him with another woman than disregard this entire thread and pretend you don't know she exists.
I haven't read this thread in its entirety so I may have missed it.
When is the last time you have had sex with your man op?
When is the last time you have had sex with your man op?
ultimately she is going to stay with him. she'll rationalise it and pretend that as while he appears on social media with her and doesn't rock the boat then he is in it for the long haul. any woman who was going to pull the rug out from under him would have done it by now.
plus she loves him, has sunk the best part of her life with him and wants to remain married. what choice does she have? kick him out and start new? take her not as profitable paying job and try to raise their kids? face her family/kids/community with the admission that her marriage has fallen apart?
what is most likely to happen is that the taurus knowing he is on a good thing will string them both along for as long as he can get away with it.
plus she loves him, has sunk the best part of her life with him and wants to remain married. what choice does she have? kick him out and start new? take her not as profitable paying job and try to raise their kids? face her family/kids/community with the admission that her marriage has fallen apart?
what is most likely to happen is that the taurus knowing he is on a good thing will string them both along for as long as he can get away with it.
Posted by bmoon8Posted by LadyNeptune
I haven't read this thread in its entirety so I may have missed it.
When is the last time you have had sex with your man op?
They have sex 1-3 times a month.jeane, we sleep together in the same room and we have sex maybe 1-3 times a month. Our kids range from ages 9-18. Its very hard wanting to not mess up our children's lives and stop the love I have for him as well, but I do not want him with anyone else because if we are a family, he shouldn't have anyone else.click to expand
ouch
Hello everyone,
Thank you for all of your input. While as someone put it, you are "strangers on the internet" I do appreciate all of the comments and advice. I have taken the last week or so in my thoughts and trying to get a handle of my marriage and I have also been reading his text messages when I can. I don't know if this is gathering the fuel to shift forward or honestly curious to see if I can look into their relationship. Some things I have taken note of :
-They do talk every day with good mornings and good night greetings as well as multiple times throughout the day. ---
-Picture swaps almost every day.
-His cousin's birthday was last week and we went to his gathering at the family house and it was such a great time, we went without the kids as it was an adults-only party but I also found out that she met his cousin the day before the party and they went out together.
-He has full access to her home
-He has done fixer-up things around her home
-They heavily work on their business or speak about their business
-He still acts as if he is happy with me and our life
-He still has not mentioned anything or has complained
-We still sleep in our same bed with our 2 younger children
-His birthday is coming up on Friday and I have told him that I would like to take him out for dinner and he said OK we could go out after 6pm (again no complaints or trying to get out of it, happily said OK)
-I have also found out that he took off on his birthday and him and her have plans to spend it together with a whole itinerary and it is nothing fancy but it is very intimate is the only word that I can describe it (This to me has hurt me a lot) --When she asks "what do you want for your birthday" he always says "you" and "you've given me gifts all month" From the looks of it, she has given him a gift every day of April in the form of something (pretty pathetic if you ask me) This is her third year doing this from what I have read. (To me this seems like she is trying to earn his love which in my opinion doesn't work)
-He still is posting me on his social media. (I know that you all think this is not important but I wanted to mention it)
-We still do and have done all things together.
-There was one conversation where it was brought up where he specifically told her the "reasons why he has stayed" and these have included - "He was comfortable", "scared to change", "wanted to be around his children everyday" "she isn't finacially stable (she meaning myself), "he will always love me but he has not been in love with me since before our second child was born but he was ok being unhappy if that meant everyone else was happy because it wasn't a big deal,his job is to provide", "she doesn't have really good friends and my friends have welcomed her and I didn't want her lose that" (her would be me) there was much more but these things stuck out and have hurt my feelings to the core.
(I did mention this to a friend of mine and they think he is lying and that he really does love me, and there is no way that he wasn't in love in that manner)
There is much more but actually typing this out is making me quite sad.
Thank you for all of your input. While as someone put it, you are "strangers on the internet" I do appreciate all of the comments and advice. I have taken the last week or so in my thoughts and trying to get a handle of my marriage and I have also been reading his text messages when I can. I don't know if this is gathering the fuel to shift forward or honestly curious to see if I can look into their relationship. Some things I have taken note of :
-They do talk every day with good mornings and good night greetings as well as multiple times throughout the day. ---
-Picture swaps almost every day.
-His cousin's birthday was last week and we went to his gathering at the family house and it was such a great time, we went without the kids as it was an adults-only party but I also found out that she met his cousin the day before the party and they went out together.
-He has full access to her home
-He has done fixer-up things around her home
-They heavily work on their business or speak about their business
-He still acts as if he is happy with me and our life
-He still has not mentioned anything or has complained
-We still sleep in our same bed with our 2 younger children
-His birthday is coming up on Friday and I have told him that I would like to take him out for dinner and he said OK we could go out after 6pm (again no complaints or trying to get out of it, happily said OK)
-I have also found out that he took off on his birthday and him and her have plans to spend it together with a whole itinerary and it is nothing fancy but it is very intimate is the only word that I can describe it (This to me has hurt me a lot) --When she asks "what do you want for your birthday" he always says "you" and "you've given me gifts all month" From the looks of it, she has given him a gift every day of April in the form of something (pretty pathetic if you ask me) This is her third year doing this from what I have read. (To me this seems like she is trying to earn his love which in my opinion doesn't work)
-He still is posting me on his social media. (I know that you all think this is not important but I wanted to mention it)
-We still do and have done all things together.
-There was one conversation where it was brought up where he specifically told her the "reasons why he has stayed" and these have included - "He was comfortable", "scared to change", "wanted to be around his children everyday" "she isn't finacially stable (she meaning myself), "he will always love me but he has not been in love with me since before our second child was born but he was ok being unhappy if that meant everyone else was happy because it wasn't a big deal,his job is to provide", "she doesn't have really good friends and my friends have welcomed her and I didn't want her lose that" (her would be me) there was much more but these things stuck out and have hurt my feelings to the core.
(I did mention this to a friend of mine and they think he is lying and that he really does love me, and there is no way that he wasn't in love in that manner)
There is much more but actually typing this out is making me quite sad.
Posted by jeane
ultimately she is going to stay with him. she'll rationalise it and pretend that as while he appears on social media with her and doesn't rock the boat then he is in it for the long haul. any woman who was going to pull the rug out from under him would have done it by now.
plus she loves him, has sunk the best part of her life with him and wants to remain married. what choice does she have? kick him out and start new? take her not as profitable paying job and try to raise their kids? face her family/kids/community with the admission that her marriage has fallen apart?
what is most likely to happen is that the taurus knowing he is on a good thing will string them both along for as long as he can get away with it.
Thank you Jeane. I do love him and I would love to remain married. I love him and I love the life we have built together and would love to continue. Could you take a look at what I just posted.
"Knowing he is on a good thing" Could you dissect this a lil further? Most are saying he doesn't think of me as a good thing but sort of an obligation.
Posted by cake
This is more common than people think.
People don't live in your shoes. You and your family have to live with the consequences in whichever action you both choose.
Choose the nightmare you can live with because at this point, neither decision will cause instant happiness.
Thank you Cake. Could you take a look at my most recent message
I have been reading some posts and I see that @AgentP911 has been called upon more than a few times. I know this thread is long but would you happen to have any input.
I suppose the summary would be:
I am married to a Taurus man, we have been together since we were teenagers. I got pregnant young, we married young. I found out he has been seeing a Scorpio woman for the last 3 years, and they have created a business' together. I have told the thread that he is still in our marital home, sleeping in our marital bed and still doing all of our family outings. He still acknowledges me on social media and refers to me as his wife. I have mentioned in this thread that she has to be someone of temporary status and for that, I do not want our marriage to fold, that would be very detrimental and I want to keep our family together and to me he does as well, as he still is here.
Thank you and I do apologize but I have seen your name appear a couple of times.
Thank you.
I suppose the summary would be:
I am married to a Taurus man, we have been together since we were teenagers. I got pregnant young, we married young. I found out he has been seeing a Scorpio woman for the last 3 years, and they have created a business' together. I have told the thread that he is still in our marital home, sleeping in our marital bed and still doing all of our family outings. He still acknowledges me on social media and refers to me as his wife. I have mentioned in this thread that she has to be someone of temporary status and for that, I do not want our marriage to fold, that would be very detrimental and I want to keep our family together and to me he does as well, as he still is here.
Thank you and I do apologize but I have seen your name appear a couple of times.
Thank you.
Posted by geminiwithataurusmanPosted by jeane
ultimately she is going to stay with him. she'll rationalise it and pretend that as while he appears on social media with her and doesn't rock the boat then he is in it for the long haul. any woman who was going to pull the rug out from under him would have done it by now.
plus she loves him, has sunk the best part of her life with him and wants to remain married. what choice does she have? kick him out and start new? take her not as profitable paying job and try to raise their kids? face her family/kids/community with the admission that her marriage has fallen apart?
what is most likely to happen is that the taurus knowing he is on a good thing will string them both along for as long as he can get away with it.
Thank you Jeane. I do love him and I would love to remain married. I love him and I love the life we have built together and would love to continue. Could you take a look at what I just posted.
"Knowing he is on a good thing" Could you dissect this a lil further? Most are saying he doesn't think of me as a good thing but sort of an obligation.click to expand
i believe everything he has said about obligation and sacrificing himself for other's happiness. that sounds like what a taurus would feel down to the ground.
but he is on a good thing with you because he does have his stability. he gets to see his kids every day. he can feel like he is the "good guy" because loyal by sticking by you and fulfilling his marital obligation. it also leaves him without having to make a choice and risk a mistake.
this current situation works for him. it's been going for years now and he is comfortable in it. the woman he loves dotes on him. great sex and great relationship without the humdrum of normal life ie kids, staleness. i'm not sure if the scorp think he will leave you for her in time and maybe once the kids have gone he might but taurus being taurus, he is unlikely to until the decision is forced upon him in some way. maybe the scorp just doesn't know that yet.
if this set up is working for him why would he change? taurus on their own steam are immovable from courses even if that course is detrimental to themselves and everyone else around them.
Please Gem, stop reading their texts they are torturing you, go back to your oblivion and bury your head.
He will only make a choice if he’s pushed by her... and I don’t think it’ll be anytime soon, once the kids have grown though might be a different story.
I see you are frozen with fear of loss so enjoyed what you have, but think about you and prepare yourself.
He will only make a choice if he’s pushed by her... and I don’t think it’ll be anytime soon, once the kids have grown though might be a different story.
I see you are frozen with fear of loss so enjoyed what you have, but think about you and prepare yourself.
This is so sad, please just leave. Loyalty is the bare minimum and he can't even give you that. It is pathetic.
Don't hold onto someone who doesn't want you......
Don't hold onto someone who doesn't want you......
Posted by geminiwithataurusman
I have been reading some posts and I see that @AgentP911 has been called upon more than a few times. I know this thread is long but would you happen to have any input.
I suppose the summary would be:
I am married to a Taurus man, we have been together since we were teenagers. I got pregnant young, we married young. I found out he has been seeing a Scorpio woman for the last 3 years, and they have created a business' together. I have told the thread that he is still in our marital home, sleeping in our marital bed and still doing all of our family outings. He still acknowledges me on social media and refers to me as his wife. I have mentioned in this thread that she has to be someone of temporary status and for that, I do not want our marriage to fold, that would be very detrimental and I want to keep our family together and to me he does as well, as he still is here.
Thank you and I do apologize but I have seen your name appear a couple of times.
Thank you.
Honestly, since you aren't very financially secure, you should start trying to build a savings from a separate account to get on your feet if he ends up trying to leave you. Open up an account separately and put money into it. Start being a little stingy with whatever funds you currently have and start saving it.
At least you will have a head start if something happens or if he finally gets the nerve to leave.
You counting on his love for his family isn't worth you not having a roof over your head if he leaves.
You at least can do with while your in limbo and not wanting to confront him about this.
Protect yourself.
Thank you everyone who has commented.
His birthday was Friday. I took someone's advice and took full control of his birthday weekend. I planned a trip, bought tickets for just the two of us, no children. We left Thursday night and came back Sunday night. A weekend for just us two to celebrate. He was very attentive and we had a great time. We took lots of pictures to keep and these are memories we will always share. He was very appreciative of the impromptu trip.
Was this a move for us in the right direction? I feel pretty confident that after this weekend together, she won't be in the picture.
Thank you again.
His birthday was Friday. I took someone's advice and took full control of his birthday weekend. I planned a trip, bought tickets for just the two of us, no children. We left Thursday night and came back Sunday night. A weekend for just us two to celebrate. He was very attentive and we had a great time. We took lots of pictures to keep and these are memories we will always share. He was very appreciative of the impromptu trip.
Was this a move for us in the right direction? I feel pretty confident that after this weekend together, she won't be in the picture.
Thank you again.
Where’s the confidence coming from?? He’s still painting pretty pictures for you.. I bet he was messaging her the whole night and will be with her tomorrow.
I’m sorry, but you are delusional... you want what you want and that’s human but take your rose coloured glasses off... this man’s heart and mind is somewhere else!
I’m sorry, but you are delusional... you want what you want and that’s human but take your rose coloured glasses off... this man’s heart and mind is somewhere else!
Posted by geminiwithataurusman
Thank you everyone who has commented.
His birthday was Friday. I took someone's advice and took full control of his birthday weekend. I planned a trip, bought tickets for just the two of us, no children. We left Thursday night and came back Sunday night. A weekend for just us two to celebrate. He was very attentive and we had a great time. We took lots of pictures to keep and these are memories we will always share. He was very appreciative of the impromptu trip.
Was this a move for us in the right direction? I feel pretty confident that after this weekend together, she won't be in the picture.
Thank you again.
she is a scorp isn't she? vexed by missing out on his birthday she is likely going to bang his brains out in response.
she's not going anywhere.
Posted by sweethearts
Where’s the confidence coming from?? He’s still painting pretty pictures for you.. I bet he was messaging her the whole night and will be with her tomorrow.
I’m sorry, but you are delusional... you want what you want and that’s human but take your rose coloured glasses off... this man’s heart and mind is somewhere else!
Thank you sweethearts. Our weekend was a really good one, intimate with just the two of us. When I told him about my plans for our weekend, there were no objections, he seemed to have a really good time and enjoyed our time away together. We really did have a ball. I can say the confidence comes from there. He happily went away for the trip I planned for him.
Posted by dontgiveupPosted by geminiwithataurusman
Thank you everyone who has commented.
His birthday was Friday. I took someone's advice and took full control of his birthday weekend. I planned a trip, bought tickets for just the two of us, no children. We left Thursday night and came back Sunday night. A weekend for just us two to celebrate. He was very attentive and we had a great time. We took lots of pictures to keep and these are memories we will always share. He was very appreciative of the impromptu trip.
Was this a move for us in the right direction? I feel pretty confident that after this weekend together, she won't be in the picture.
Thank you again.
You are so delusional! I am sorry, please open your eyes.click to expand
Thank you dontgiveup for your perspective. I wouldn't call this delusional. My husband happily went away with me. There were no objections and we really did have a fantastic time. It reminded me of our love that we have had throughout the years. And I am sure it was the same for him, which is why I do think she no longer will be in the picture.
Posted by jeanePosted by geminiwithataurusman
Thank you everyone who has commented.
His birthday was Friday. I took someone's advice and took full control of his birthday weekend. I planned a trip, bought tickets for just the two of us, no children. We left Thursday night and came back Sunday night. A weekend for just us two to celebrate. He was very attentive and we had a great time. We took lots of pictures to keep and these are memories we will always share. He was very appreciative of the impromptu trip.
Was this a move for us in the right direction? I feel pretty confident that after this weekend together, she won't be in the picture.
Thank you again.
she is a scorp isn't she? vexed by missing out on his birthday she is likely going to bang his brains out in response.
she's not going anywhere.click to expand
Yes Jeane, she is. Early November I believe. I am sure she has to know that sex doesn't keep a partner. We had a whole weekend together and she gives 7 minutes in heaven. What is your take on this?
I'd think she make haste and after our time together this weekend, I am sure he was reminded of our love as well.
Posted by geminiwithataurusmanPosted by sweethearts
Where’s the confidence coming from?? He’s still painting pretty pictures for you.. I bet he was messaging her the whole night and will be with her tomorrow.
I’m sorry, but you are delusional... you want what you want and that’s human but take your rose coloured glasses off... this man’s heart and mind is somewhere else!
Thank you sweethearts. Our weekend was a really good one, intimate with just the two of us. When I told him about my plans for our weekend, there were no objections, he seemed to have a really good time and enjoyed our time away together. We really did have a ball. I can say the confidence comes from there. He happily went away for the trip I planned for him.click to expand
What has changed though??
You haven’t confronted him. He’s enjoying his time with you and her, he doesn’t have to make any decision so why do you think he will now cut her out of his life? He has his cake and eats it and neither you or she mind him doing so.
Posted by geminiwithataurusmanPosted by jeanePosted by geminiwithataurusman
Thank you everyone who has commented.
His birthday was Friday. I took someone's advice and took full control of his birthday weekend. I planned a trip, bought tickets for just the two of us, no children. We left Thursday night and came back Sunday night. A weekend for just us two to celebrate. He was very attentive and we had a great time. We took lots of pictures to keep and these are memories we will always share. He was very appreciative of the impromptu trip.
Was this a move for us in the right direction? I feel pretty confident that after this weekend together, she won't be in the picture.
Thank you again.
she is a scorp isn't she? vexed by missing out on his birthday she is likely going to bang his brains out in response.
she's not going anywhere.
Yes Jeane, she is. Early November I believe. I am sure she has to know that sex doesn't keep a partner. We had a whole weekend together and she gives 7 minutes in heaven. What is your take on this?
I'd think she make haste and after our time together this weekend, I am sure he was reminded of our love as well.click to expand
"7 minutes in heaven".
ah. that's a very telling comment.
sex is more than penetration and the mechanics of intercourse.
sex is
connectedness
intimacy
passion
vulnerability
closeness
affection
appreciation
emotional
giving to the other person to make them feel good and happy
it's about being seen
trust
acceptance
validation
it's an expression of love
it's not necessarily (although it can be) about just scratching an itch.
and for men, who are often starved of those feelings and emotions, sex can be the only place where they can find it. yes, sex won't keep a partner but underestimate the value of sex at your peril.
Another thing... if you’re as emotionless as you appear in this thread in your every day life with him this is why he’s found someone else.
I hope you do get your happy ending but just from everything you’ve said, it seems highly unlikely 😢
I hope you do get your happy ending but just from everything you’ve said, it seems highly unlikely 😢
Literally 99% of the thread: Leave him! Make a plan for yourself. Start moving money into a separate account to protect yourself.
Op: So I took your advice and paid for a surprise weekend away for us.
Op: So I took your advice and paid for a surprise weekend away for us.
Posted by sweetheartsPosted by geminiwithataurusmanPosted by sweethearts
Where’s the confidence coming from?? He’s still painting pretty pictures for you.. I bet he was messaging her the whole night and will be with her tomorrow.
I’m sorry, but you are delusional... you want what you want and that’s human but take your rose coloured glasses off... this man’s heart and mind is somewhere else!
Thank you sweethearts. Our weekend was a really good one, intimate with just the two of us. When I told him about my plans for our weekend, there were no objections, he seemed to have a really good time and enjoyed our time away together. We really did have a ball. I can say the confidence comes from there. He happily went away for the trip I planned for him.
What has changed though??
You haven’t confronted him. He’s enjoying his time with you and her, he doesn’t have to make any decision so why do you think he will now cut her out of his life? He has his cake and eats it and neither you or she mind him doing so.click to expand
Thank you sweethearts for your response. No, I haven't confronted him. We haven't gone away just the two of us in a very long time, I do think this could be. a turning point to where a decision as you stated would be determined.
Posted by jeanePosted by geminiwithataurusmanPosted by jeanePosted by geminiwithataurusman
Thank you everyone who has commented.
His birthday was Friday. I took someone's advice and took full control of his birthday weekend. I planned a trip, bought tickets for just the two of us, no children. We left Thursday night and came back Sunday night. A weekend for just us two to celebrate. He was very attentive and we had a great time. We took lots of pictures to keep and these are memories we will always share. He was very appreciative of the impromptu trip.
Was this a move for us in the right direction? I feel pretty confident that after this weekend together, she won't be in the picture.
Thank you again.
she is a scorp isn't she? vexed by missing out on his birthday she is likely going to bang his brains out in response.
she's not going anywhere.
Yes Jeane, she is. Early November I believe. I am sure she has to know that sex doesn't keep a partner. We had a whole weekend together and she gives 7 minutes in heaven. What is your take on this?
I'd think she make haste and after our time together this weekend, I am sure he was reminded of our love as well.
"7 minutes in heaven".
ah. that's a very telling comment.
sex is more than penetration and the mechanics of intercourse.
sex is
connectedness
intimacy
passion
vulnerability
closeness
affection
appreciation
emotional
giving to the other person to make them feel good and happy
it's about being seen
trust
acceptance
validation
it's an expression of love
it's not necessarily (although it can be) about just scratching an itch.
and for men, who are often starved of those feelings and emotions, sex can be the only place where they can find it. yes, sex won't keep a partner but underestimate the value of sex at your peril.click to expand
Thank you Jeane, I understand your points. I did make it a point to have sex with him this weekend to show him all of the above.
Posted by dontgiveupPosted by geminiwithataurusmanPosted by dontgiveupPosted by geminiwithataurusman
Thank you everyone who has commented.
His birthday was Friday. I took someone's advice and took full control of his birthday weekend. I planned a trip, bought tickets for just the two of us, no children. We left Thursday night and came back Sunday night. A weekend for just us two to celebrate. He was very attentive and we had a great time. We took lots of pictures to keep and these are memories we will always share. He was very appreciative of the impromptu trip.
Was this a move for us in the right direction? I feel pretty confident that after this weekend together, she won't be in the picture.
Thank you again.
You are so delusional! I am sorry, please open your eyes.
Thank you dontgiveup for your perspective. I wouldn't call this delusional. My husband happily went away with me. There were no objections and we really did have a fantastic time. It reminded me of our love that we have had throughout the years. And I am sure it was the same for him, which is why I do think she no longer will be in the picture.
Have you checked his phone since you got back?click to expand
I have not dontgiveup. I do know that this weekend, he was not worried about his phone at all. He was very engaged in our activities, taking photos and being in the moment.
Posted by sweethearts
Another thing... if you’re as emotionless as you appear in this thread in your every day life with him this is why he’s found someone else.
I hope you do get your happy ending but just from everything you’ve said, it seems highly unlikely 😢
Sweethearts, I am emotional, I cry, I shed tears, he sees these aspects of me, life gets in the way but he knows how much I love him. I let him know not everyday but I let him know. For his birthday, I created a birthday tribute and posted it. I created the weekend for us, he knows how much I love him I believe.
Posted by SagoxaPosted by geminiwithataurusman
Thank you everyone who has commented.
His birthday was Friday. I took someone's advice and took full control of his birthday weekend. I planned a trip, bought tickets for just the two of us, no children. We left Thursday night and came back Sunday night. A weekend for just us two to celebrate. He was very attentive and we had a great time. We took lots of pictures to keep and these are memories we will always share. He was very appreciative of the impromptu trip.
Was this a move for us in the right direction? I feel pretty confident that after this weekend together, she won't be in the picture.
Thank you again.
Yes, you're moving in the right direction 🙂
I have to be honest here, I muted you because your post were annoying but now i know i was projecting a lot on to you with my previous post. I am sorry if I was too harsh. I was projecting. Shouldnt have done that 🙂
There are 2 types of people who cheats.
1. Because theyre a cheater. You see them cheating consistently with multiple partner.
2. Because theyre lonely in the relationship.
I think your husband falls in the 2nd category. He has been with that scorpio woman for 3 years. It wasnt the sex that he was looking for, it was someone to fill the void.
I think once youve had your children, you forgot to nurture the romance in the relationship and focus solely on the children. You forgot to date your partner again.
You're doing the right thing by trying to relive the romantic aspect of the relationship. I wont be too sure that he will drop the scorpio woman right away. But you are moving in the right direction 🙂
I suggest you go to a relationship counsellor. Read more books. It is possible to work on marriage after an affair.
I just saw it few days ago, it gave me a new perspective. 5 years ago my bestfriend's parent were on the verge of divorce because the dad had an affair for 10 years.
They went to counsellors, both of them were committed to make their marriage work, and few days ago i saw how deep their love is for one another, they were like teenagers who were head over heel with one another lol. So yes it is possible. But look for professional help..click to expand
Thank you Sagoxa! I do truly believe he wasn't worried about that woman and was focused on us. That makes me extremely hopeful for our future as a marital couple!
Posted by LadyNeptune
Literally 99% of the thread: Leave him! Make a plan for yourself. Start moving money into a separate account to protect yourself.
Op: So I took your advice and paid for a surprise weekend away for us.
LadyNeptune, it was a couple of posters that told me to take over and so I did.
Posted by cake
Confront him under this full moon ✌🏽
Hello Cake, can you highlight what the full moon will bring from a confrontation?
Posted by geminiwithataurusmanPosted by sweethearts
Another thing... if you’re as emotionless as you appear in this thread in your every day life with him this is why he’s found someone else.
I hope you do get your happy ending but just from everything you’ve said, it seems highly unlikely 😢
Sweethearts, I am emotional, I cry, I shed tears, he sees these aspects of me, life gets in the way but he knows how much I love him. I let him know not everyday but I let him know. For his birthday, I created a birthday tribute and posted it. I created the weekend for us, he knows how much I love him I believe.click to expand
I’m sure he knows how much you love him.
What he needs to know and learn is how much he loves you!
Posted by sweetheartsPosted by geminiwithataurusmanPosted by sweethearts
Another thing... if you’re as emotionless as you appear in this thread in your every day life with him this is why he’s found someone else.
I hope you do get your happy ending but just from everything you’ve said, it seems highly unlikely 😢
Sweethearts, I am emotional, I cry, I shed tears, he sees these aspects of me, life gets in the way but he knows how much I love him. I let him know not everyday but I let him know. For his birthday, I created a birthday tribute and posted it. I created the weekend for us, he knows how much I love him I believe.
I’m sure he knows how much you love him.
What he needs to know and learn is how much he loves you!click to expand
Thank you sweethearts.
Posted by dontgiveupPosted by geminiwithataurusmanPosted by dontgiveupPosted by geminiwithataurusmanPosted by dontgiveupPosted by geminiwithataurusman
Thank you everyone who has commented.
His birthday was Friday. I took someone's advice and took full control of his birthday weekend. I planned a trip, bought tickets for just the two of us, no children. We left Thursday night and came back Sunday night. A weekend for just us two to celebrate. He was very attentive and we had a great time. We took lots of pictures to keep and these are memories we will always share. He was very appreciative of the impromptu trip.
Was this a move for us in the right direction? I feel pretty confident that after this weekend together, she won't be in the picture.
Thank you again.
You are so delusional! I am sorry, please open your eyes.
Thank you dontgiveup for your perspective. I wouldn't call this delusional. My husband happily went away with me. There were no objections and we really did have a fantastic time. It reminded me of our love that we have had throughout the years. And I am sure it was the same for him, which is why I do think she no longer will be in the picture.
Have you checked his phone since you got back?
I have not dontgiveup. I do know that this weekend, he was not worried about his phone at all. He was very engaged in our activities, taking photos and being in the moment.
But hasnt he been this way for the past 3 years?
Seems he puts on a good show, gets the best of both worlds.
This guy is a pro to have you both thinking you're the one.
I am sorry if I come off harsh I just have a hard time understanding how you can stand this.
How could you possibly have a great weekend knowing hes in love with another woman? Do you not have self respect?
I am not trying to belittle you I want to empower you. YOU DESERVE BETTER.click to expand
Thank you dontgiveup. You are right and I have an update and I am pretty much besides myself. I did take a look at his phone when he left this morning to get breakfast for the kids and I and left it haphazardly. I don't know what to do anymore.
Hello everyone, thank you again for being here offering advice, words of wisdom and also trying to knock some type of sense into me. @dontgiveup had asked me have I went through his phone and I had not until this morning when he left in a huge rush to pick up breakfast for me and the kids.
From the looks of things, he spent Sunday all day with her, when he told me he had to go to his office for a run-through for new procedures when they start back in the office. He SPENT ALL DAY SUNDAY WITH HER!!!!!!! How is it that he spent a weekend with me and throws himself back with her——? She expressed her discontent and he told her he understood and that he went because I had planned it and how I had told everyone what we were doing and he was only "obliged" to go! HOW DOES HE SAY HE WAS OBLIGED TO GO———? It's as if I pulled his leg or something!!!!!! If he didn't want to go he should have so! To me, I thought he was having a good time! I know I am not that delusional to think that we had a good time unless he is a great fucking actor!!!!!!!!! He told her that to him it was NOTHING romantic. I guess at that point, they had a phone conversation and the next text mesages were from Monday morning, him sending her pictures from their Sunday together.
And this all day Sunday event, she decorated a whole backyard possibly hers like it was a major event, at-home massages, pictures of a chef and an omelet station and other things, pictures of them snuggled up, videos. Him praising her and telling her, she is always where he wants to be and I can't even type all of the other shit I saw.
@jeane it looks like you were right, because they were very explicit text messages and him telling her how tired he was and her response was "don't act up again and I won't give you 16 rounds maybe just 10 in that time frame" His response was "you are perfect for me and you know I am always ready for you, I am yours and he is yours too"
@Sagoxa it looks like it wasn't what I thought it was!
How can he do a weekend with me and go run to her———? And then act as if our weekend was a drop in a hat for him,nothing special just an ordinary thing.
I really thought our weekend meant something to him!!!!!!!!!!!
From the looks of things, he spent Sunday all day with her, when he told me he had to go to his office for a run-through for new procedures when they start back in the office. He SPENT ALL DAY SUNDAY WITH HER!!!!!!! How is it that he spent a weekend with me and throws himself back with her——? She expressed her discontent and he told her he understood and that he went because I had planned it and how I had told everyone what we were doing and he was only "obliged" to go! HOW DOES HE SAY HE WAS OBLIGED TO GO———? It's as if I pulled his leg or something!!!!!! If he didn't want to go he should have so! To me, I thought he was having a good time! I know I am not that delusional to think that we had a good time unless he is a great fucking actor!!!!!!!!! He told her that to him it was NOTHING romantic. I guess at that point, they had a phone conversation and the next text mesages were from Monday morning, him sending her pictures from their Sunday together.
And this all day Sunday event, she decorated a whole backyard possibly hers like it was a major event, at-home massages, pictures of a chef and an omelet station and other things, pictures of them snuggled up, videos. Him praising her and telling her, she is always where he wants to be and I can't even type all of the other shit I saw.
@jeane it looks like you were right, because they were very explicit text messages and him telling her how tired he was and her response was "don't act up again and I won't give you 16 rounds maybe just 10 in that time frame" His response was "you are perfect for me and you know I am always ready for you, I am yours and he is yours too"
@Sagoxa it looks like it wasn't what I thought it was!
How can he do a weekend with me and go run to her———? And then act as if our weekend was a drop in a hat for him,nothing special just an ordinary thing.
I really thought our weekend meant something to him!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by geminiwithataurusman
Hello everyone, thank you again for being here offering advice, words of wisdom and also trying to knock some type of sense into me. @dontgiveup had asked me have I went through his phone and I had not until this morning when he left in a huge rush to pick up breakfast for me and the kids.
From the looks of things, he spent Sunday all day with her, when he told me he had to go to his office for a run-through for new procedures when they start back in the office. He SPENT ALL DAY SUNDAY WITH HER!!!!!!! How is it that he spent a weekend with me and throws himself back with her——? She expressed her discontent and he told her he understood and that he went because I had planned it and how I had told everyone what we were doing and he was only "obliged" to go! HOW DOES HE SAY HE WAS OBLIGED TO GO———? It's as if I pulled his leg or something!!!!!! If he didn't want to go he should have so! To me, I thought he was having a good time! I know I am not that delusional to think that we had a good time unless he is a great fucking actor!!!!!!!!! He told her that to him it was NOTHING romantic. I guess at that point, they had a phone conversation and the next text mesages were from Monday morning, him sending her pictures from their Sunday together.
And this all day Sunday event, she decorated a whole backyard possibly hers like it was a major event, at-home massages, pictures of a chef and an omelet station and other things, pictures of them snuggled up, videos. Him praising her and telling her, she is always where he wants to be and I can't even type all of the other shit I saw.
@jeane it looks like you were right, because they were very explicit text messages and him telling her how tired he was and her response was "don't act up again and I won't give you 16 rounds maybe just 10 in that time frame" His response was "you are perfect for me and you know I am always ready for you, I am yours and he is yours too"
How can he do a weekend with me and go run to her———? And then act as if our weekend was a drop in a hat for him,nothing special just an ordinary thing.
I really thought our weekend meant something to him!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm sorry you saw that. i can't really blame you for holding out hope that things would go your way. i think any of us in your situation would find it hard to let go after all the years you had together.
i hope now you can see that as things stand he is unwilling to let her go and she is unwilling to let go of him.
i can only repeat an earlier post, you either have to accept the situation or confront him with what you know.
i hope you can also see that it's not about what you do now in terms of tying yourself up in knots trying to be the woman you think he wants. without a frank conversation about the reality that you find yourself in, no weekends away, changing your clothes, sleeping without the kids in bed, sex from the chandelier will alter his connection with her. she is embedded in his life. it may be time for a difficult conversation between the two of you.
or as others have said, get your finances in order and have that conversation when you are stable enough should the worst happens and he choses to leave the marital home.
Posted by thatlibralife
He’s a duplicitous monster. I’m sorry. I feel for you but for your sanity you have to say something. He loves her period point blank. He just feels obligated to you and that’s it.
Thank you thatlibralife.
Posted by dontgiveupPosted by geminiwithataurusman
Hello everyone, thank you again for being here offering advice, words of wisdom and also trying to knock some type of sense into me. @dontgiveup had asked me have I went through his phone and I had not until this morning when he left in a huge rush to pick up breakfast for me and the kids.
From the looks of things, he spent Sunday all day with her, when he told me he had to go to his office for a run-through for new procedures when they start back in the office. He SPENT ALL DAY SUNDAY WITH HER!!!!!!! How is it that he spent a weekend with me and throws himself back with her——? She expressed her discontent and he told her he understood and that he went because I had planned it and how I had told everyone what we were doing and he was only "obliged" to go! HOW DOES HE SAY HE WAS OBLIGED TO GO———? It's as if I pulled his leg or something!!!!!! If he didn't want to go he should have so! To me, I thought he was having a good time! I know I am not that delusional to think that we had a good time unless he is a great fucking actor!!!!!!!!! He told her that to him it was NOTHING romantic. I guess at that point, they had a phone conversation and the next text mesages were from Monday morning, him sending her pictures from their Sunday together.
And this all day Sunday event, she decorated a whole backyard possibly hers like it was a major event, at-home massages, pictures of a chef and an omelet station and other things, pictures of them snuggled up, videos. Him praising her and telling her, she is always where he wants to be and I can't even type all of the other shit I saw.
@jeane it looks like you were right, because they were very explicit text messages and him telling her how tired he was and her response was "don't act up again and I won't give you 16 rounds maybe just 10 in that time frame" His response was "you are perfect for me and you know I am always ready for you, I am yours and he is yours too"
How can he do a weekend with me and go run to her———? And then act as if our weekend was a drop in a hat for him,nothing special just an ordinary thing.
I really thought our weekend meant something to him!!!!!!!!!!!
I mentioned for you to check his phone again because I knew it would be a wake up call.
Please I wish you could stand up for yourself! You should confront him.
I dont know how you even stand to live in the same home as someone who can be so fake to you its sadclick to expand
Thank you again dontgiveup. I have been trying to come up with a plan to confront and it has been a struggle not to say anything. I wanted a front row seat I supposed to how he was going to react to the upcoming holidays and such. I can say I am still in shock.
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