Taurus man says he is broken, but still comes back is it manipulation?

Ok Taurus Sun Virgo Moon Pisces Venus and Mars.

Let me first start off by saying until this summer this guy had not talked with or slept with a woman for 6 years. He was someone I liked as a teenager and we made out years ago but it never went anywhere.

Cue me spending the summer in my hometown. We matched with each other and got way closer than we ever did as teens talking all the time, but it was also kind of like a big therapy session for him.

He has only ever had two girlfriends and doesn’t think very highly of himself despite the fact of him being highly attractive and honestly a sweetheart in my eyes, he insists he is an ass hole.

My impression of him has always been that he must have all of the girls. We went to grade school together but separate high schools so I never really knew what went on with him.

The mother of his son cheated on him years ago and is now happily married with another kid. Despite fighting for more time he doesn’t get to see his son very often. I also suspect he may have been abused as a child as he mentioned being messed up by something that happened to him as a child.

I honestly wouldn’t be surprised because over this last year I have had at least 5 people open up to me about being molested and my suspicion is that could be him as well just off of things he has mentioned fluctuating between rage and depression and past sexual promiscuity years ago.

Anyway i’m leaving in two days, but I’m not sure what to do. It really just feels like a come here go away situation all of the time. Any type of criticism creates a wound for him it seems. I don’t wanna hurt him and I don’t want him to hurt me either.

I guess my question is, is he using his hurt to manipulate me or do you think it’s really just hard for him to connect and he is afraid? I know it is not my responsibility, but I don’t want to push him away if it will help him but I also don’t want to let him keep coming back if it’s a mind game.

Posted by MareInfame

I don’t think he is manipulating you, but I do believe that you don’t see him clearly.

He told you he was an ass hole. Believe him.

Yeah you are right I probably don’t see him very clearly.

There is a saying

Be careful trying to fix what’s broken you may get cut

Posted by CookieMonster123

Disclaimer:

I am the person the user is refering to

You are like this with women?

Posted by Truemara

There is a saying

Be careful trying to fix what’s broken you may get cut

Very true. I didn’t start out like that I just wanted someone to hang out with for the summer and he was cool and we had a great conversation. He just kind of opened up to me and I’m a very motivating person. I also kind of told him to stop pitying himself because I just couldn’t stand it and I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t fight for himself.

Posted by ladylibra21

Ok Taurus Sun Virgo Moon Pisces Venus and Mars.

Let me first start off by saying until this summer this guy had not talked with or slept with a woman for 6 years.

We matched with each other

So you matched on a dating app and yet he hasn’t spoken to any other women in 6 years. Erm ok, the math isn’t quite adding up there.

Is it to play games and hook the women to be your savior?

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by ladylibra21

Ok Taurus Sun Virgo Moon Pisces Venus and Mars.

Let me first start off by saying until this summer this guy had not talked with or slept with a woman for 6 years.

We matched with each other

So you matched on a dating app and yet he hasn’t spoken to any other women in 6 years. Erm ok, the math isn’t quite adding up there.

click to expand

Yes I know I had thought the same thing it sounds naïve but after having several conversations I believe it. Especially since when we had got into an argument he said I knew this is a bad idea. I don’t know why I even tried to date.

Also sex lasted less than two minutes. Like I said I honestly think something happened to him. He was really weird around sex. He also hinted around that he had self harmed with sex before. This was after we had sex of course or else I would never would have.

He said he just wanted to focus on him and his son he has literally woke up every day for the same routine for the past six years and he stays with his parents so there’s not many opportunities for that.

Is he telling you all this after you had sex? Trying to push you away?

Posted by Truemara

Is it to play games and hook the women to be your savior?

I wondered that too at first which is why I wouldn’t really let myself get close out first and basically told him to stop self pitying.

At the beginning of the summer, he complained about certain things in his life that he could just fix If he worked at it. He got mad at me because I told him to do some thing about it instead of feeling sorry for himself and disappeared for a week so I didn’t expect to hear from him again. But he came back and then started telling me things that he had fixed that we had previously discussed. They were things that he had previously refused to even try to fix.

Posted by Truemara

Is he telling you all this after you had sex? Trying to push you away?

He definitely tried to push me away telling me I don’t really know him so I gave space there been several times this summer where I just figured it was over and I let it go I was very chill and let him go which normally my cancer moon will want to cling on. But he just comes back and we talk and I’ve called him out on his behavior before but last Sunday was different he found out I was leaving this week I guess he wasn’t paying attention before and he started clinging to me but then picked a fight with me on Monday backing out of our day on Tuesday. It felt like he found any excuse. But when we met up on Thursday he said he was mad because I didn’t consult him first on details so he got mad.

Posted by MareInfame

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by ladylibra21

Ok Taurus Sun Virgo Moon Pisces Venus and Mars.

Let me first start off by saying until this summer this guy had not talked with or slept with a woman for 6 years.

We matched with each other

So you matched on a dating app and yet he hasn’t spoken to any other women in 6 years. Erm ok, the math isn’t quite adding up there.

Yes I know I had thought the same thing it sounds naïve but after having several conversations I believe it. Especially since when we had got into an argument he said I knew this is a bad idea. I don’t know why I even tried to date.

Also sex lasted less than two minutes. Like I said I honestly think something happened to him. He was really weird around sex. He also hinted around that he had self harmed with sex before. This was after we had sex of course or else I would never would have.

He said he just wanted to focus on him and his son he has literally woke up every day for the same routine for the past six years and he stays with his parents so there’s not many opportunities for that.

Ooh… this is really bad. If you care about him, try to guide him to get some counseling or therapy. He has some DEEEEEEEEEP issues that he needs to deal with.

I get that you are easy to talk to, but if you go in deeper with this guy, he will ruin you.

He needs to heal himself, you can’t do that for him.

click to expand

This ^ I tell you this I was in same boat with a Taurus I ended up “cut.” You can’t fix them best left for the professionals.

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by ladylibra21

Ok Taurus Sun Virgo Moon Pisces Venus and Mars.

Let me first start off by saying until this summer this guy had not talked with or slept with a woman for 6 years.

We matched with each other

So you matched on a dating app and yet he hasn’t spoken to any other women in 6 years. Erm ok, the math isn’t quite adding up there.

Yes I know I had thought the same thing it sounds naïve but after having several conversations I believe it. Especially since when we had got into an argument he said I knew this is a bad idea. I don’t know why I even tried to date.

Also sex lasted less than two minutes. Like I said I honestly think something happened to him. He was really weird around sex. He also hinted around that he had self harmed with sex before. This was after we had sex of course or else I would never would have.

He said he just wanted to focus on him and his son he has literally woke up every day for the same routine for the past six years and he stays with his parents so there’s not many opportunities for that.

click to expand

I don’t believe it personally.

You are literally the example that there is opportunity.

Practice doesn’t always make perfect. Him being a poor conversationalist and lay is proof of this. He’s had relationships in the past, his son is the result of one. Didn’t make him a good lover or charming.

The difference between you and other women he’s hooked up with in the past and will in the future is that you knew him previously. So he is making excuses for his performance because on some level he cares what you think.

The “this is a bad idea” and “I’m an asshole” is him holding you at arms length so you know not to expect more/catch feelings. Although why you would after less than 2mins is beyond me. Ouch that’s depressing.

Gotta put aside your savior urges and let him be. This is going nowhere fast and I don’t see anything in it for you. But hey, your life your time.

wasted years on a potential with someone that doesn’t want to fix themselves

Don’t date potentials

Because he may never become that man.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by ladylibra21

Ok Taurus Sun Virgo Moon Pisces Venus and Mars.

Let me first start off by saying until this summer this guy had not talked with or slept with a woman for 6 years.

We matched with each other

So you matched on a dating app and yet he hasn’t spoken to any other women in 6 years. Erm ok, the math isn’t quite adding up there.

Yes I know I had thought the same thing it sounds naïve but after having several conversations I believe it. Especially since when we had got into an argument he said I knew this is a bad idea. I don’t know why I even tried to date.

Also sex lasted less than two minutes. Like I said I honestly think something happened to him. He was really weird around sex. He also hinted around that he had self harmed with sex before. This was after we had sex of course or else I would never would have.

He said he just wanted to focus on him and his son he has literally woke up every day for the same routine for the past six years and he stays with his parents so there’s not many opportunities for that.

I don’t believe it personally.

You are literally the example that there is opportunity.

Practice doesn’t always make perfect. Him being a poor conversationalist and lay is proof of this. He’s had relationships in the past, his son is the result of one. Didn’t make him a good lover or charming.

The difference between you and other women he’s hooked up with in the past and will in the future is that you knew him previously. So he is making excuses for his performance because on some level he cares what you think.

The “this is a bad idea” and “I’m an asshole” is him holding you at arms length so you know not to expect more/catch feelings. Although why you would after less than 2mins is beyond me. Ouch that’s depressing.

Gotta put aside your savior urges and let him be. This is going nowhere fast and I don’t see anything in it for you. But hey, your life your time.

click to expand

You know I wondered that too! If it was that he just wanted to fuck and leave but he’s known me previously and didn’t want me to say anything. It just confused me because he kept popping back up.

Mind you we only did it twice and there was a two week time span between those times but before that there was a lot of in an out behavior before we even did anything. I have never really had a successful friends with benefits but this is the first time I have been somewhat detached so I accepted the behavior stupidly.

I only really started getting attached when I was starting to worry about his well-being but you are right I can’t save him. He wants told me when we first started talking that he needs lots of love and he knows that he can be a lot to deal with and that he’s here one day and gone the next a lot of the time and people don’t understand it.

He really does need professional help and I know that I’m just trying to figure out how to leave without hurting him if he does care. Because part of me wants to genuinely be friends but the other part of me doesn’t like that he disappears. I know I shouldn’t care but I do

Posted by Truemara

Posted by MareInfame

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by ladylibra21

Ok Taurus Sun Virgo Moon Pisces Venus and Mars.

Let me first start off by saying until this summer this guy had not talked with or slept with a woman for 6 years.

We matched with each other

So you matched on a dating app and yet he hasn’t spoken to any other women in 6 years. Erm ok, the math isn’t quite adding up there.

Yes I know I had thought the same thing it sounds naïve but after having several conversations I believe it. Especially since when we had got into an argument he said I knew this is a bad idea. I don’t know why I even tried to date.

Also sex lasted less than two minutes. Like I said I honestly think something happened to him. He was really weird around sex. He also hinted around that he had self harmed with sex before. This was after we had sex of course or else I would never would have.

He said he just wanted to focus on him and his son he has literally woke up every day for the same routine for the past six years and he stays with his parents so there’s not many opportunities for that.

Ooh… this is really bad. If you care about him, try to guide him to get some counseling or therapy. He has some DEEEEEEEEEP issues that he needs to deal with.

I get that you are easy to talk to, but if you go in deeper with this guy, he will ruin you.

He needs to heal himself, you can’t do that for him.

This ^ I tell you this I was in same boat with a Taurus I ended up “cut.” You can’t fix them best left for the professionals.

click to expand

You are right I just hate that he will probably never seek help and I know I can’t control that it’s just a shame.

Posted by MareInfame

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by Truemara

Is it to play games and hook the women to be your savior?

I wondered that too at first which is why I wouldn’t really let myself get close out first and basically told him to stop self pitying.

At the beginning of the summer, he complained about certain things in his life that he could just fix If he worked at it. He got mad at me because I told him to do some thing about it instead of feeling sorry for himself and disappeared for a week so I didn’t expect to hear from him again. But he came back and then started telling me things that he had fixed that we had previously discussed. They were things that he had previously refused to even try to fix.

The longer you get to know him, the clearer you will see his unwillingness to want to actually change.

He has comfort in talking about it, keep it there and just repeat the pattern.

He isn’t interested in fixing anything… especially if it takes effort on his part.

You are talking to him like a Cardinal… in motion to change and fix. Music to an Aries ears. Hell to a Taurus, fixed in his ways.

click to expand

Very true. He told me that I push him away nobody has ever pushed him and why can’t I just except that he’s happy being sad and a loner. And I told him it’s because I don’t believe that because he was happy being sad? I said and if you wanted to be alone then why were you on a dating site and he said to just pass the time and I said OK that’s fine but it’s still hint around to the fact that you wanted a connection every now and then so this motor bullshit is just that bullshit. You can be a loner and still want human connection.

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by ladylibra21

Ok Taurus Sun Virgo Moon Pisces Venus and Mars.

Let me first start off by saying until this summer this guy had not talked with or slept with a woman for 6 years.

We matched with each other

So you matched on a dating app and yet he hasn’t spoken to any other women in 6 years. Erm ok, the math isn’t quite adding up there.

Yes I know I had thought the same thing it sounds naïve but after having several conversations I believe it. Especially since when we had got into an argument he said I knew this is a bad idea. I don’t know why I even tried to date.

Also sex lasted less than two minutes. Like I said I honestly think something happened to him. He was really weird around sex. He also hinted around that he had self harmed with sex before. This was after we had sex of course or else I would never would have.

He said he just wanted to focus on him and his son he has literally woke up every day for the same routine for the past six years and he stays with his parents so there’s not many opportunities for that.

I don’t believe it personally.

You are literally the example that there is opportunity.

Practice doesn’t always make perfect. Him being a poor conversationalist and lay is proof of this. He’s had relationships in the past, his son is the result of one. Didn’t make him a good lover or charming.

The difference between you and other women he’s hooked up with in the past and will in the future is that you knew him previously. So he is making excuses for his performance because on some level he cares what you think.

The “this is a bad idea” and “I’m an asshole” is him holding you at arms length so you know not to expect more/catch feelings. Although why you would after less than 2mins is beyond me. Ouch that’s depressing.

Gotta put aside your savior urges and let him be. This is going nowhere fast and I don’t see anything in it for you. But hey, your life your time.

You know I wondered that too! If it was that he just wanted to fuck and leave but he’s known me previously and didn’t want me to say anything. It just confused me because he kept popping back up.

Mind you we only did it twice and there was a two week time span between those times but before that there was a lot of in an out behavior before we even did anything. I have never really had a successful friends with benefits but this is the first time I have been somewhat detached so I accepted the behavior stupidly.

I only really started getting attached when I was starting to worry about his well-being but you are right I can’t save him. He wants told me when we first started talking that he needs lots of love and he knows that he can be a lot to deal with and that he’s here one day and gone the next a lot of the time and people don’t understand it.

He really does need professional help and I know that I’m just trying to figure out how to leave without hurting him if he does care. Because part of me wants to genuinely be friends but the other part of me doesn’t like that he disappears. I know I shouldn’t care but I do

click to expand

Tell him you heard him loud and clear with behavior and words. He comes and goes and your really more interested in someone who is consistent

Posted by Truemara wasted years on a potential with someone that doesn’t want to fix themselves

Don’t date potentials

Because he may never become that man.

Thanks, I needed to hear that. In spite of what he says I know he’s a good person deep down and a great father. He hides his sadness from everyone he says no one knows that he is sad like this.

Which honestly enlightened me because he’s a prime example of those people who look completely normal but are fighting some thing and they just end up killing themselves one day out of the blue and no one understands.

When he first opened up I was very very tempted to message his sister and let her know that I think he needs help. However I know that would just embarrass him and be a betrayal of trust and possibly erase a possibility of him opening up when he’s ready to finally tell the whole truth.

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by Truemara wasted years on a potential with someone that doesn’t want to fix themselves

Don’t date potentials

Because he may never become that man.

Thanks, I needed to hear that. In spite of what he says I know he’s a good person deep down and a great father. He hides his sadness from everyone he says no one knows that he is sad like this.

Which honestly enlightened me because he’s a prime example of those people who look completely normal but are fighting some thing and they just end up killing themselves one day out of the blue and no one understands.

When he first opened up I was very very tempted to message his sister and let her know that I think he needs help. However I know that would just embarrass him and be a betrayal of trust and possibly erase a possibility of him opening up when he’s ready to finally tell the whole truth.

click to expand

I understand it’s heartbreaking but he won’t be able to fulfill you if he’s not willing to work on himself and those issues. You can be sad and not treat people badly, hot and cold, in one day out the other. That behavior will be your ruin. I dated this person for 4 yrs on and off, feeling his pain only for him to run to another and marry her within six months.

I understand you feel like your letting him down if you select a healthier partner because it’s not their fault the got messed up due to childhood issues. But if they don’t want to work on it. They may end up hurting you as a self mechanism.

Posted by Hookay

Can you post his chart? Those placements sound like absolute garbage. Venus and mars opposed moon.

He's more mutable in nature.

I haven’t posted a picture on DXP in a long time I’m not sure how to do it LOL.

I had thought the same thing though. He is full of contradictions. He is also 8th house sun and mercury, but 11th house moon 🤦🏽‍♀️. Also 5th house Mars and 6th house Venus

Posted by xiongmao

Posted by ladylibra21

why can’t I just except that he’s happy being sad and a loner.

That's such a contradictory statement....how does someone be happy at being sad? o.o

click to expand

Girl I now believe it or not he has said that twice

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by ladylibra21

Ok Taurus Sun Virgo Moon Pisces Venus and Mars.

Let me first start off by saying until this summer this guy had not talked with or slept with a woman for 6 years.

We matched with each other

So you matched on a dating app and yet he hasn’t spoken to any other women in 6 years. Erm ok, the math isn’t quite adding up there.

Yes I know I had thought the same thing it sounds naïve but after having several conversations I believe it. Especially since when we had got into an argument he said I knew this is a bad idea. I don’t know why I even tried to date.

Also sex lasted less than two minutes. Like I said I honestly think something happened to him. He was really weird around sex. He also hinted around that he had self harmed with sex before. This was after we had sex of course or else I would never would have.

He said he just wanted to focus on him and his son he has literally woke up every day for the same routine for the past six years and he stays with his parents so there’s not many opportunities for that.

I don’t believe it personally.

You are literally the example that there is opportunity.

Practice doesn’t always make perfect. Him being a poor conversationalist and lay is proof of this. He’s had relationships in the past, his son is the result of one. Didn’t make him a good lover or charming.

The difference between you and other women he’s hooked up with in the past and will in the future is that you knew him previously. So he is making excuses for his performance because on some level he cares what you think.

The “this is a bad idea” and “I’m an asshole” is him holding you at arms length so you know not to expect more/catch feelings. Although why you would after less than 2mins is beyond me. Ouch that’s depressing.

Gotta put aside your savior urges and let him be. This is going nowhere fast and I don’t see anything in it for you. But hey, your life your time.

You know I wondered that too! If it was that he just wanted to fuck and leave but he’s known me previously and didn’t want me to say anything. It just confused me because he kept popping back up.

Mind you we only did it twice and there was a two week time span between those times but before that there was a lot of in an out behavior before we even did anything. I have never really had a successful friends with benefits but this is the first time I have been somewhat detached so I accepted the behavior stupidly.

I only really started getting attached when I was starting to worry about his well-being but you are right I can’t save him. He wants told me when we first started talking that he needs lots of love and he knows that he can be a lot to deal with and that he’s here one day and gone the next a lot of the time and people don’t understand it.

He really does need professional help and I know that I’m just trying to figure out how to leave without hurting him if he does care. Because part of me wants to genuinely be friends but the other part of me doesn’t like that he disappears. I know I shouldn’t care but I do

click to expand

Well you have the perfect excuse to leave without hurting. It’s a summer romance and your headed back to reality. It always had an expiration date.

But if you genuinely care about him on a friend level and can compartmentalize then reach out every now and then and be his sounding board/vent person. Encourage him. Be uplifting. Yada yada ya.

Can’t internalize when he ghosts or isn’t responsive either. He’s told you how he is and seems comfortable not changing.

And that’s fine as well. Thinking you might fix him/change him with the power of a summer fling when his own child didn’t, puts things into perspective. Some people are happy being miserable.

Insecure men are dangerous. Also, if he thinks no one should be with him because he is trash he will think something is wrong with you for wanting to be with him. He doesn't have anything to give and you will hurt yourself thinking he has changed or is withholding when the truth is there isn't anything to give. His cup is empty.

Posted by Electricboogaloo

Insecure men are dangerous. Also, if he thinks no one should be with him because he is trash he will think something is wrong with you for wanting to be with him. He doesn't have anything to give and you will hurt yourself thinking he has changed or is withholding when the truth is there isn't anything to give. His cup is empty.

So true. I always question people who stick around knowing someone ain’t shyt.

I don’t know who needs therapy more

Posted by DMV

Posted by Electricboogaloo

Insecure men are dangerous. Also, if he thinks no one should be with him because he is trash he will think something is wrong with you for wanting to be with him. He doesn't have anything to give and you will hurt yourself thinking he has changed or is withholding when the truth is there isn't anything to give. His cup is empty.

So true. I always question people who stick around knowing someone ain’t shyt.

I don’t know who needs therapy more

click to expand

Yes, I realize I need to go back to therapy after dealing with him because I still have some unhealthy tactics. It stems from not wanting a person further by disappearing after they have opened up to me.

Posted by Krabss

ppl can be broken and manipulative at the same time. is he fun at all? i mean dating and the rest is supposed to rise your mood not to bring you down. idk.

Oh yeah definitely that’s why it was so hard to kind of cut ties we keep each other laughing and we have lots of good conversation I haven’t had that with someone in a long time. We talk each other‘s ears off.

Just Thursday we walked around my neighborhood holding hands looking at the stars and just cutting up that was so fun

Posted by Electricboogaloo

Insecure men are dangerous. Also, if he thinks no one should be with him because he is trash he will think something is wrong with you for wanting to be with him. He doesn't have anything to give and you will hurt yourself thinking he has changed or is withholding when the truth is there isn't anything to give. His cup is empty.

same men who make reddit accounts whining about women always asking what they do for a living at the first DM

yet when a woman's actually interested, they're disgusted at said woman's lack of standards

the self-hatred is unreal

I really don't want to read or be involved with this story, but I just want to comment on the Headline....

I'm broken, really just means I don't want to take responsibility for my emotion or how it affects my actions.

megalomaniacal men starting to look attractive when you're tired of experimenting with fixer-uppers

Posted by GC11_

I love when girls are like “he’s just broken, I can fix him.” ….

Relax Bob the Builder, he’s probably got 10 other girls trying to “fix” him too. You look like a construction crew.

I’ve seen this meme 😆