BAV
@BAV
8 Years
Comments: 0 ¡ Posts: 165 ¡ Topics: 9

Posted by tctaoSome other 'interesting things' about her: we had sex a year ago, I know it was amazing for both, BUT she kicked me out in the middle of the night saying that since her divorce (6-7 years ago) no guy had spent the night... A month later, I was the 'lucky one' to spend the entire night with her, but no sex. lol.
wow - no help there sorry - sounds confusing as hell to me - if I like someone I don't waste that much time - of course getting to know one another takes time but the good, the bad, the ugly
I do suggest however that you somehow find out if she is bi-polar - she could be but I doubt it - unless she is good at hiding the depressive phases as well as the manic phases - my ex husband could be good at that when he tried
Posted by PiscesfuckupFor me its been 18 months lol. Whats your story, in short?Posted by BAVSorry I have no advice for you just wanted to say that this sounds as confusing and frustrating as my situation with an aqua woman was over a 19 month period. I hope you get some input from dxp aquas and other peeps experienced with them because I would love to learn more about these unicorns đđ
I wrote here about a crush that I had over a Aqua woman, almost a year ago. In short, we are colleagues, mid 30s, both divorced, she has a girl. She started flirting with me after my breakup from my ex wife. Told me she had a crush on me for 1 year and a half. I felt it like I was like a trophy for her. But ended up falling for each other badly (one time sex - awesome, a few dates - wow). At the same time, we were both in some sort of relationships, unofficially. I pursued her more than needed, she said no in a very ugly way. Even told me end of January this year that we will never be together. I was devastated for a while, but happy in a way that it ended with her telling me the truth.
Boy, I was so wrong. Not a week passes, she starts writing me with all kind of work related pretexts just to check up on me. Then saying she misses me etc etc. When I asked her on a date, she refused, saying her usual line: she is too scared of her feelings for me. She eventually accepted to come to my place, but actually never came. Very rude. Confronted her about that, said again she is not ready, bla, bla. And all this time, the interactions were 70% initiated by her. Mid year - she introduces me to her mother (?!). I already knew her daughter, she adores me, and now her mother... That was the only actual date this year with her. The rest of the time we see each other in her office, privately. The bs continues for the summer. But about 2-3 months ago, she became more involved, saying she wants to spend a day/night/weekend with me, that she misses our long phone conversations from last year, that she misses me in general etc etc.
About a month ago she tells me a conversations she had with her daughter, in which basically she told her daughter that I am her best male friend. I was pretty shocked because we don't talk that much, we see each other almost weekly in her office. BUT, here comes the awkward part: she keeps flirting with me a lot. We always kiss when we meet. She has the same attitude as last year when she was very in love. She always says that its incredible how connected we are in every way.
A week ago I was texting her that I would have liked for her to be in my team in a project that Im struggling with, because she is very bright and experienced in that part. And I was not flirting, I was quite serious. She said: I think you actually need me every day and every night. Wrong, I don't need you, but I want you. And she asks me: Every day in you life. I said yes, she puts a smiley. Thought, ok, now she will back away again, I will get a text from her next week probably. But no, we kept texting for the next days, nothing serious, until 2 days ago, she tells me that she has been with someone from July until 3 days ago and that the guy lives 3000 km away and obviously was not working. Ta - da
It flattered me that she considered me her best male friend. I don't. But why the constant flirting?! Too many times I have the feeling that she is bipolar or something. During the past weeks I initiated conversations with her less and less, but when we see each other is like magic lol.
Whats your opinion?
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Posted by cappy182We are not fwb, at least not the sex part. If her benefits are emotional confirmation, then you are right. I know by the way she looks at me, how she kisses me, that the woman really has some feelings for me, but would not exit her comfort zone no matter what. She told me one time that she runs away from me because its too good with me and she would stick forever... And a few months later she texted me that no matter what she does, I still attract her like a magnet and its un natural not to talk to me and see me. Also, she gives me the impression, from time to time, that we are actually in a rs, I don't know how to put it.
Same here. No advise but I empathize.
I was in the same boat (sort of about 25% of the way of your situation I guess) The connection and magic is there but I am at the point of my life where I need emotional stability. I hate playing games (whether they intent to or not).
My thing is I will be your true friend if thatâs what you want and I will stay committed if thatâs what you want. But I wil not be your âfriends with benefitsâ sitting in limbo. Maybe itâs pride? desire for some kind of safety net? Fear of wasting time and emotional enegry? I donât know but I nip that in the bud. We still text every once in a while but I donât engage with the flirting and I donât keep my hopes up anymore.
I hope you get some clarity and good insight from aquas here. Wish you well.
Posted by bittercupcakeYes, it seems so, but on the other hand, we are not together, just flirting and kissing from time to time. And those moments with her seems very real to me.
She was in an LDR? Hmmm đ§
It seems like she was faking around with you while being emotionally invested in someone else. She was just using you in the physical sense because her bf was across the globe.




Posted by justagirlYes, I went on a trip with an ex gf, who is a very close friend to me now. Me and the Aqua - we were not serious back then, she was having an affair with a married neighbour lol. It was not ok for me to do that, agree, but its been a year since that story. We both have changed a lot since then. And we still talk, still have feelings for each other. Yes, I have feelings for her, as much as I would love to forget her.
ya thought so
https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/aquarius/aqua-behavior-what-is-this--8369926/
Posted by PiscesfuckupPosted by BAVAh similar time frame. And we're both in our 30s too. Well here goes, as short as I can keep it...Posted by PiscesfuckupFor me its been 18 months lol. Whats your story, in short?Posted by BAVSorry I have no advice for you just wanted to say that this sounds as confusing and frustrating as my situation with an aqua woman was over a 19 month period. I hope you get some input from dxp aquas and other peeps experienced with them because I would love to learn more about these unicorns đđ
I wrote here about a crush that I had over a Aqua woman, almost a year ago. In short, we are colleagues, mid 30s, both divorced, she has a girl. She started flirting with me after my breakup from my ex wife. Told me she had a crush on me for 1 year and a half. I felt it like I was like a trophy for her. But ended up falling for each other badly (one time sex - awesome, a few dates - wow). At the same time, we were both in some sort of relationships, unofficially. I pursued her more than needed, she said no in a very ugly way. Even told me end of January this year that we will never be together. I was devastated for a while, but happy in a way that it ended with her telling me the truth.
Boy, I was so wrong. Not a week passes, she starts writing me with all kind of work related pretexts just to check up on me. Then saying she misses me etc etc. When I asked her on a date, she refused, saying her usual line: she is too scared of her feelings for me. She eventually accepted to come to my place, but actually never came. Very rude. Confronted her about that, said again she is not ready, bla, bla. And all this time, the interactions were 70% initiated by her. Mid year - she introduces me to her mother (?!). I already knew her daughter, she adores me, and now her mother... That was the only actual date this year with her. The rest of the time we see each other in her office, privately. The bs continues for the summer. But about 2-3 months ago, she became more involved, saying she wants to spend a day/night/weekend with me, that she misses our long phone conversations from last year, that she misses me in general etc etc.
About a month ago she tells me a conversations she had with her daughter, in which basically she told her daughter that I am her best male friend. I was pretty shocked because we don't talk that much, we see each other almost weekly in her office. BUT, here comes the awkward part: she keeps flirting with me a lot. We always kiss when we meet. She has the same attitude as last year when she was very in love. She always says that its incredible how connected we are in every way.
A week ago I was texting her that I would have liked for her to be in my team in a project that Im struggling with, because she is very bright and experienced in that part. And I was not flirting, I was quite serious. She said: I think you actually need me every day and every night. Wrong, I don't need you, but I want you. And she asks me: Every day in you life. I said yes, she puts a smiley. Thought, ok, now she will back away again, I will get a text from her next week probably. But no, we kept texting for the next days, nothing serious, until 2 days ago, she tells me that she has been with someone from July until 3 days ago and that the guy lives 3000 km away and obviously was not working. Ta - da
It flattered me that she considered me her best male friend. I don't. But why the constant flirting?! Too many times I have the feeling that she is bipolar or something. During the past weeks I initiated conversations with her less and less, but when we see each other is like magic lol.
Whats your opinion?
We met in person randomly then started texting (as friends) pretty much every day for a month...she escalated things and we got a bit intimate but then I scared her away with my intense self. She ignored me for a couple of days then said she wanted to take it slow but I was already creeped out by her behaviour and the intensity of my own feelings and told her there couldn't be anything between us. I still wanted her friendship...I've never cared for someone's friendship more in my life...so strange for me. A very special and unique connection. She said she felt close and connected to me but I always felt like I was doing more than she was, even when I tried to keep it under control.
We couldn't go one month without falling out...never dramatic of course, she's not like that, she would just withdraw. She dated other people and talked about it...always finding faults with every single one of them...or at least that's what she told me. She did get involved with someone very briefly and had a bit of a meltdown when it didn't work out. This whole time I haven't gone one day for the whole 19 months (and counting) without thinking about her...even when I went no contact for 2 and a half months. She has a very strong grip on me and it's strange because I know we could never make it work as some of our core values clash with each other. But here I am still trying to figure her out.
I did get to see her soft side a handful of times but most of the time she kept a wall between us although it sometimes felt like she was pursuing me. She even sent me something about that "hedgehogs dilemma" thing...in case you don't know about it, it's basically about being scared to be intimate with someone for fear of hurting/being hurt. I told her I didn't want a shallow friendship with her and that's basically the last time we spoke (about a week ago). I don't think we'll ever talk again.
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Posted by ImpulsvI guess we deserve each other. I also had an affair with a woman that was married. She wanted to end the marriage to be with me, I said no. Its complicated. The aqua also ended things with that guy, she blocked him. She kept telling him its over for over a year, he always came back begging her.Posted by BAVWYF really you want to be with someone who was having an affair with married man . No scruples!!Posted by justagirlYes, I went on a trip with an ex gf, who is a very close friend to me now. Me and the Aqua - we were not serious back then, she was having an affair with a married neighbour lol. It was not ok for me to do that, agree, but its been a year since that story. We both have changed a lot since then. And we still talk, still have feelings for each other. Yes, I have feelings for her, as much as I would love to forget her.
ya thought so
https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/aquarius/aqua-behavior-what-is-this--8369926/
How does she deserve your love ?
Whatâs wrong with people picking disfunctional
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Posted by aquarius_manI know his story. I believe she is stuck on him, emotionally speaking. But this doesn't mean it will lead to somewhere.Posted by BAVShe likes you. Hang there
Whats your opinion?click to expand

Posted by aquarius_manDon't think too shallow or by appearances. I vent here from time to time, but this doesn't mean I let myself be carried away. Sometimes we need a slap in the face as well. You judge only through the prism of me blurting out on some events, but not on the whole. And surprinsingly, yes, we still see each other at a timeframe that exceeds your expectations. Wink đPosted by compyhow do you know his story? remember when you thought your aquarius didn t give 2 shits about you, on your bday? but you re still together? its the same thing, you really don't understand us. sorry but you don t have this capacity and you re supposed to be our ideal match. aries sees through aquarius. sag too. gems so and so. but you libras you miss, always miss.Posted by aquarius_manI know his story. I believe she is stuck on him, emotionally speaking. But this doesn't mean it will lead to somewhere.Posted by BAVShe likes you. Hang there
Whats your opinion?click to expand

Posted by aquarius_manIt doesn't matter what YOU think, since you cannot be in his shoes anyway. As for the "solid" thing... why to put a label on it? Really, learn to live and not to be so controlling and opinionated on everything around you!Posted by compymy expectations. i don t have any expectations whatsoever regarding you & aquarius. i just told you i wouldn t be interested in a woman like yourself, because i find you boring & constipated. i didn't say that other aquas arent into you. the expression'' know your aquas'', plural, means: you know stuff about aquarius ppl, not what you thought it meant.
Don't think too shallow or by appearances. I vent here from time to time, but this doesn't mean I let myself be carried away. Sometimes we need a slap in the face as well. You judge only through the prism of me blurting out on some events, but not on the whole. And surprinsingly, yes, we still see each other at a timeframe that exceeds your expectations. Wink đ
plus, you re contradicting yourself: you said about your own relationship, that despite you venting on dxp it s still solid. why wouldn't this be the case with OP's story, too? where s the logic?
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Posted by aquarius_manYou are the first Aqua I think who says that. What makes you say this?Posted by BAVShe likes you. Hang there
Whats your opinion?click to expand

Posted by BAVjust be careful and keep those rose colored glasses off your face - her behavior sounds strange or unusual so something is going on with her - you sound like a patient soul - I was too - I married a man who was bi-polar and it didn't turn out wellPosted by tctaoSome other 'interesting things' about her: we had sex a year ago, I know it was amazing for both, BUT she kicked me out in the middle of the night saying that since her divorce (6-7 years ago) no guy had spent the night... A month later, I was the 'lucky one' to spend the entire night with her, but no sex. lol.
wow - no help there sorry - sounds confusing as hell to me - if I like someone I don't waste that much time - of course getting to know one another takes time but the good, the bad, the ugly
I do suggest however that you somehow find out if she is bi-polar - she could be but I doubt it - unless she is good at hiding the depressive phases as well as the manic phases - my ex husband could be good at that when he tried
She used to have episodes at least until January when she was very depressed and took some days off. Depressed usually about her ex husband who still treats her like crap. Since January she hasn't told me of those moments. But she did some big changes in her life and a couple of months ago she was telling me that she got tired of being alone.
Basically she has a problem with guys ever since her divorce: most of them just wanted to fuck her occasionally, but no rs. Some were married, as she found out later. So she created this wall around her and doesn't let feelings get in the way of sex. Until me, if she is not faking it.
Anyway, this whole thing is not bothering me so much anymore, its more like a curiosity. But, I was serious when I told her I wanted to be with her, nonetheless. Seeing her in love, last year, it was amazing, and I know what a wonderful relationship it can be.click to expand
Posted by aquarius_manYes, we are playing, but we are not in a relationship, we are seeing other people, we are not fwb. We are just more than colleagues, friends I could say who flirt, a lot. And have feelings for each other.Posted by BAVthats how my cousin was playing with her man before she married him, 3 years later. but however i think you should listen to the aqua ladies mostPosted by aquarius_manYou are the first Aqua I think who says that. What makes you say this?Posted by BAVShe likes you. Hang there
Whats your opinion?click to expand
Posted by aquarius_manTaurus.Posted by BAVwhat ur sign
Yes, we are playing, but we are not in a relationship, we are seeing other people, we are not fwb. We are just more than colleagues, friends I could say who flirt, a lot. And have feelings for each other.
Completely different from my past experiences!
And how did he pin her down?click to expand
Posted by bittercupcakeWe had sex, more than a year ago. She said it was amazing. And it was. đPosted by BAVPosted by aquarius_manYes, we are playing, but we are not in a relationship, we are seeing other people, we are not fwb. We are just more than colleagues, friends I could say who flirt, a lot. And have feelings for each other.Posted by BAVthats how my cousin was playing with her man before she married him, 3 years later. but however i think you should listen to the aqua ladies mostPosted by aquarius_manYou are the first Aqua I think who says that. What makes you say this?Posted by BAVShe likes you. Hang there
Whats your opinion?
Completely different from my past experiences!
And how did he pin her down?
Doesnât sound like sheâs into youin that way. If youâre ever friendzoned by me, chances of you getting out is nearly impossible. And you guys havenât had sex right? No fooling around? Yeah, you definitely wouldnât get out... only a miracle.
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Posted by bittercupcakeShe was doing the same thing back then. We both had our safety nets.Posted by BAVI think I remember you. Werenât you screwing around with another woman at the time you guys were dating? Then she went cold right?Posted by aquarius_manTaurus.Posted by BAVwhat ur sign
Yes, we are playing, but we are not in a relationship, we are seeing other people, we are not fwb. We are just more than colleagues, friends I could say who flirt, a lot. And have feelings for each other.
Completely different from my past experiences!
And how did he pin her down?
Yeah...good luck with that one.click to expand
Posted by aquarius_manSo, she got tired of the games that SHE was playing? đ) Yes, my Aqua tells me since last year about the "unreliable guys" in her life. But it seems like she wants to check them all and then be with me. lol.Posted by BAVhe is a cancer and had a lot of patience with her. and eventually, around 29 she got tired of games and the 'cool, but unreliable' guys in her life and said yes to the patient, but also funny, he cracks jokes all the time, cancer man. he put up with all the shit she threw his way during their 1st yr 2gether (she still wants her independence but also for cancer man to look after her) and they have been married 5 yrs nowPosted by aquarius_manTaurus.Posted by BAVwhat ur sign
Yes, we are playing, but we are not in a relationship, we are seeing other people, we are not fwb. We are just more than colleagues, friends I could say who flirt, a lot. And have feelings for each other.
Completely different from my past experiences!
And how did he pin her down?
click to expand
Posted by bittercupcakeYes, totally agree! BUT, why the constant flirting? And, like I said before, from her reactions when we are together, from the way she kisses me, it seems to me that its more than just friends.Posted by BAVTrue. But how is the relationship now? It doesnât seem like itâs gone far especially since sheâs been dating around. Her telling you is a clear sign she sees it platonic or fwb.Posted by bittercupcakeShe was doing the same thing back then. We both had our safety nets.Posted by BAVI think I remember you. Werenât you screwing around with another woman at the time you guys were dating? Then she went cold right?Posted by aquarius_manTaurus.Posted by BAVwhat ur sign
Yes, we are playing, but we are not in a relationship, we are seeing other people, we are not fwb. We are just more than colleagues, friends I could say who flirt, a lot. And have feelings for each other.
Completely different from my past experiences!
And how did he pin her down?
Yeah...good luck with that one.click to expand
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Boy, I was so wrong. Not a week passes, she starts writing me with all kind of work related pretexts just to check up on me. Then saying she misses me etc etc. When I asked her on a date, she refused, saying her usual line: she is too scared of her feelings for me. She eventually accepted to come to my place, but actually never came. Very rude. Confronted her about that, said again she is not ready, bla, bla. And all this time, the interactions were 70% initiated by her. Mid year - she introduces me to her mother (?!). I already knew her daughter, she adores me, and now her mother... That was the only actual date this year with her. The rest of the time we see each other in her office, privately. The bs continues for the summer. But about 2-3 months ago, she became more involved, saying she wants to spend a day/night/weekend with me, that she misses our long phone conversations from last year, that she misses me in general etc etc.
About a month ago she tells me a conversations she had with her daughter, in which basically she told her daughter that I am her best male friend. I was pretty shocked because we don't talk that much, we see each other almost weekly in her office. BUT, here comes the awkward part: she keeps flirting with me a lot. We always kiss when we meet. She has the same attitude as last year when she was very in love. She always says that its incredible how connected we are in every way.
A week ago I was texting her that I would have liked for her to be in my team in a project that Im struggling with, because she is very bright and experienced in that part. And I was not flirting, I was quite serious. She said: I think you actually need me every day and every night. Wrong, I don't need you, but I want you. And she asks me: Every day in you life. I said yes, she puts a smiley. Thought, ok, now she will back away again, I will get a text from her next week probably. But no, we kept texting for the next days, nothing serious, until 2 days ago, she tells me that she has been with someone from July until 3 days ago and that the guy lives 3000 km away and obviously was not working. Ta - da
It flattered me that she considered me her best male friend. I don't. But why the constant flirting?! Too many times I have the feeling that she is bipolar or something. During the past weeks I initiated conversations with her less and less, but when we see each other is like magic lol.
Whats your opinion?