Fear of Breaking up with someone you once loved! It's terrifying!

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Aquastic007
@Aquastic
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 99 · Posts: 1598 · Topics: 53
Over the years I have found myself staying in very and I mean very TOXIC relationships just because m scared of breakups. It's a scary thought , somehow I tend to convince myself that the relationship will work when everything is dead and buried.It's almost as if I feel like I will never find someone else to love me, and so I settle for NOTHING!

How do you overcome this?
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SmartOnTheRocks
@SmartOnTheRocks
10 Years

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Look in the mirror tell yourself you are bad ass and a man must move mountains if they want to even share the same air you breathe as you. It all starts with self love. It's hard to explain if you see it as words but you have to come to a point in life where is practical. literally when you focus on being the best you artsy attract the best. And you know what you deserve so you will never settle for nothing again. Because in YOUR eyes you are something. Basically it all starts with you and how you perceive yourself.

Try this every morning for a month. I am beautiful, I am hard working I am humble. I'm a princess who is loving devoted loyal and giving. I deserve someone who will knock off this tiny Crown on my head and replace it with a bigger 1 to be the Queen of his heart. Until then I'm going to continue reigning in my awesomeness and give everyone around me the best of me.
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StingTailedLibra
@LibraLovesHim
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You are deserving of the love you give. In the meantime start to do things on your own, try to discover who you were before you met this person. If you attracted that, and you are fully aware that it is toxic and no good for you of course you can attract better. You are maybe staying out of habit. Don't let your emotions go into overdrive, tell yourself this is no good for me BECAUSE...It is already a good thing that you know its a bad relationship. Also, dont feel you HAVE to be with someone. Its ok to be alone and figure yourself out, most of the time its better than jumping straight into another relationship.
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Aquastic007
@Aquastic
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 99 · Posts: 1598 · Topics: 53
Posted by SmartOnTheRocks
Look in the mirror tell yourself you are bad ass and a man must move mountains if they want to even share the same air you breathe as you. It all starts with self love. It's hard to explain if you see it as words but you have to come to a point in life where is practical. literally when you focus on being the best you artsy attract the best. And you know what you deserve so you will never settle for nothing again. Because in YOUR eyes you are something. Basically it all starts with you and how you perceive yourself.

Try this every morning for a month. I am beautiful, I am hard working I am humble. I'm a princess who is loving devoted loyal and giving. I deserve someone who will knock off this tiny Crown on my head and replace it with a bigger 1 to be the Queen of his heart. Until then I'm going to continue reigning in my awesomeness and give everyone around me the best of me.
Thank you so much!
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Aquastic007
@Aquastic
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Comments: 99 · Posts: 1598 · Topics: 53
Posted by LibraLovesHim
You are deserving of the love you give. In the meantime start to do things on your own, try to discover who you were before you met this person. If you attracted that, and you are fully aware that it is toxic and no good for you of course you can attract better. You are maybe staying out of habit. Don't let your emotions go into overdrive, tell yourself this is no good for me BECAUSE...It is already a good thing that you know its a bad relationship. Also, dont feel you HAVE to be with someone. Its ok to be alone and figure yourself out, most of the time its better than jumping straight into another relationship.
You right , and most of the I keep on thinking back when I was still the confident me. When my all my bad situations did streap me off my self-esteem. You use to love myself so much! now! I need me back.

And thank you the motivation!
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Aquastic007
@Aquastic
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 99 · Posts: 1598 · Topics: 53
Posted by dewiklaessen1991
Posted by Aquastic
Over the years I have found myself staying in very and I mean very TOXIC relationships just because m scared of breakups. It's a scary thought , somehow I tend to convince myself that the relationship will work when everything is dead and buried.It's almost as if I feel like I will never find someone else to love me, and so I settle for NOTHING!

How do you overcome this?

also never feeling good enough? I know that feeling i always wanna be the best and when I can't I get like a failure
click to expand

And what brings one to such conclusions is loneliness, when I'm lonely I think too much , I ask myself what's wrong with me, why can't I get myself a man? And booom! looser line up.
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StingTailedLibra
@LibraLovesHim
9 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by busyeyes88
Posted by Aquastic
Over the years I have found myself staying in very and I mean very TOXIC relationships just because m scared of breakups. It's a scary thought , somehow I tend to convince myself that the relationship will work when everything is dead and buried.It's almost as if I feel like I will never find someone else to love me, and so I settle for NOTHING!

How do you overcome this?
Put yourself first...

The best relationship in the world is the one you have with yourself.... If you cannot love yourself and look yourself in the mirror and being single and enjoying your own company, then thats a sad place to be in.

For me being in a TOXIC relationships is a lot more scarier!! Give me singledom ANY DAY... For I am free....
click to expand

Or 100 cats
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Aquastic007
@Aquastic
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 99 · Posts: 1598 · Topics: 53
Posted by busyeyes88
Posted by Aquastic
Over the years I have found myself staying in very and I mean very TOXIC relationships just because m scared of breakups. It's a scary thought , somehow I tend to convince myself that the relationship will work when everything is dead and buried.It's almost as if I feel like I will never find someone else to love me, and so I settle for NOTHING!

How do you overcome this?
Put yourself first...

The best relationship in the world is the one you have with yourself.... If you cannot love yourself and look yourself in the mirror and being single and enjoying your own company, then thats a sad place to be in.

For me being in a TOXIC relationships is a lot more scarier!! Give me singledom ANY DAY... For I am free....
click to expand

but singledom can get very LONELY , especially when people are getting married left ,right and centre, leaving you feeling like you live in an Ireland where men ain't allowed to love you or else......
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StingTailedLibra
@LibraLovesHim
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Posted by busyeyes88
Posted by LibraLovesHim
Posted by busyeyes88
Posted by Aquastic
Over the years I have found myself staying in very and I mean very TOXIC relationships just because m scared of breakups. It's a scary thought , somehow I tend to convince myself that the relationship will work when everything is dead and buried.It's almost as if I feel like I will never find someone else to love me, and so I settle for NOTHING!

How do you overcome this?
Put yourself first...

The best relationship in the world is the one you have with yourself.... If you cannot love yourself and look yourself in the mirror and being single and enjoying your own company, then thats a sad place to be in.

For me being in a TOXIC relationships is a lot more scarier!! Give me singledom ANY DAY... For I am free....
Or 100 cats
Keep your shit to the other thread... Don't spoil the OP's thread with your crap. Have a bit more respect....
click to expand

YAWN
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neves
@neves
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Death of a loved one or the end of a meaningful relationship - can have the similar effect on us... We need - to go through a process of grief afterwards - which is a healthy path to recovery. Kinda similar to a real physical wound - one that's quite serious, the kind that can imply a medical intervention - which will leave you in stitches and bandages afterwards... plus the required time - for recovery (even beyond the removal of the stitches and bandages). Coincidentally, not so long ago a discussion - reminded me of the "5 stages of grief" - an article that proved to be quite useful for many people - in dealing with their grief (over someone they used to love), so - it might help you as well:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/inside-out/201309/the-5-stages-grieving-the-end-relationship
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Aquastic007
@Aquastic
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 99 · Posts: 1598 · Topics: 53
Posted by neves
Death of a loved one or the end of a meaningful relationship - can have the similar effect on us... We need - to go through a process of grief afterwards - which is a healthy path to recovery. Kinda similar to a real physical wound - one that's quite serious, the kind that can imply a medical intervention - which will leave you in stitches and bandages afterwards... plus the required time - for recovery (even beyond the removal of the stitches and bandages). Coincidentally, not so long ago a discussion - reminded me of the "5 stages of grief" - an article that proved to be quite useful for many people - in dealing with their grief (over someone they used to love), so - it might help you as well:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/inside-out/201309/the-5-stages-grieving-the-end-relationship
interesting article!
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Aquastic007
@Aquastic
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 99 · Posts: 1598 · Topics: 53
Posted by Geminariescharmer
Posted by Aquastic
Over the years I have found myself staying in very and I mean very TOXIC relationships just because m scared of breakups. It's a scary thought , somehow I tend to convince myself that the relationship will work when everything is dead and buried.It's almost as if I feel like I will never find someone else to love me, and so I settle for NOTHING!

How do you overcome this?
why are you afraid of breakups/ never being able to find someone else to love yourself? If you love yourself you would not be afraid , also if you find the relationship is dead just end it, stop living in denial and hope. Every relationship is a new learning experience.
click to expand

just need to win my oldself back, the happy confident girl I use to be ,before life threw lemons at my direction.
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truecap
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Posted by Aquastic
Over the years I have found myself staying in very and I mean very TOXIC relationships just because m scared of breakups. It's a scary thought , somehow I tend to convince myself that the relationship will work when everything is dead and buried.It's almost as if I feel like I will never find someone else to love me, and so I settle for NOTHING!

How do you overcome this?
capricorn venus?
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Aquastic007
@Aquastic
9 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by iVirgo
You don't sound like a typical aqua what are your placements?
Planet Longitude House
position
Sun 10 Aqu 35' 10" 3
Moon 00 Pis 40' 11" 3
Mercury 23 Aqu 09' 46" 3
Venus 24 Sag 21' 56" 1
Mars 15 Ari 42' 56" 5
Jupiter 23 Pis 05' 08" 4
Saturn 18 Sag 24' 21" 1
Uranus 25 Sag 13' 04" 1
Neptune 06 Cap 45' 56" 1
Pluto 09 Sco 56' 03" 11
Chiron 16 Gem 06' 33" R 7
Lilith 07 Can 40' 06" 8
True Node 13 Ari 29' 05" R 4
P. of Fortune 16 Sco 16' 18" 12
Vertex
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
13 Years50,000+ Posts

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Posted by Aquastic
Posted by iVirgo
I am my sun

I feel & think with my moon

You my dear are a true cluster Fk. A Mars in Arie's so you are attracted to bad boys, but still you are Aqua out of your element, detached sun attached moon. Pisces is at home in that placement so you will loose trying to relate to Aquas.

.............no wonder m so lucky!
click to expand

lol


pisces is ruled by Jupiter too, so anything piscean is LUCKY.



aqua is not so Lucky in the love department.(generally speaking) i notice, unless they got lots of Jupiter aspects/Jupiter and neptune influence.

my mother in law is not so Lucky in the love department at all, but she is very very Lucky in career and finances, and family. that's her luck. she has Jupiter aqua, so her luck is aquarius.

you have moon and Jupiter pisces. that's your luck.
Jupiter in Aquarius attracts good luck when they are cooperative, impartial and inventive. They work at their best when they have the freedom to choose what to do and how to do it. They are good at breaking rules and thinking outside the box.



Jupiter in Aquarius can break new ground in any endeavor because they are willing to try new things. They are not afraid to step away from tradition to make new discoveries. Some may call them genius, others eccentric. The point is, Aquarius Jupiter is not afraid to be different. They are very spiritual and artistic. They are sociable and love to share ideas. They may find themselves as an activist, musician, artist, scientist, inventor or in the occult.

Aquarius Jupiter accepts those around them at face value. They are tolerant and understanding, which allows them to work equally well with many different people. They are fresh and original, though they don't seek out responsibility frequently. They can also lack in discipline at times. They are not into material goods, so it may be more difficult for them to prosper financially. They can be rather revolutionary at times.

Jupiter in Aquarius wants to make the world better for everyone. They may find themselves as union leaders, shop stewards or volunteers. They are excellent at networking and can inspire those around them to bigger and better things. They have no problem getting followers or being popular. They can be unconventional.



Luck finds Jupiter in Aquarius through their use of visionary ideals and innovative ideas. They can seek more luck by putting themselves in situations that place value on innovation and original thinking. To gather even more good fortune, Aquarius Jupiter needs to learn to compromise.

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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
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ops...this is your Jupiter

http://www.alwaysastrology.com/jupiter-in-pisces.html

Jupiter in Pisces attracts good luck when they are tender, devoted, giving and compassionate. They love to care for those less fortunate than themselves. Helping others fills a need deep within them.



Pisces Jupiter is empathic; they can feel the world's pain. They desire to do all they can to relieve this pain and make it better. They are imaginative and creative; they may express themselves using the arts. They can be very talented with healing arts of all kinds. They are drawn to fantasy and the occult.

Jupiter in Pisces is content to remain behind the scenes to help. They don't seek the spotlight. They are very sensitive, but easy going. They may not be very ambitious. They don't need a lot of material things to be content in life. They may closely follow a religion or mystical practices. They may be prone to being taken advantage of due to their compassionate nature. They like seclusion.

Others like Pisces Jupiter. There is just something about them that strikes a chord with people. They are very kind, caring and idealistic. They make good listeners. They have a talent for connecting with others. They may have psychic abilities as well.



Jupiter in Pisces is good at social work, counseling and ministry work. They may volunteer for organizations that help the homeless or poor. On the negative side, they may drift so far into fantasy that they rely on drugs or other methods to take them away from reality. They may not be able to discriminate well between what is good or bad for themselves. They have trouble with consistency. Meditation may help them deal with stressful issues.

In order to attract the most good fortune, Jupiter in Pisces needs to focus their sensitivity in healthy directions. They need to stop listening to the little voice inside that tells them they need to escape.
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P-Angel
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20 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

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Awe, poor baby ...... looks like her bullshit she's been spewing came back to smack her in the ass ... and she can't handle the bullshit she puts out.



Let's all feel sorry for her and pity her ....... over on the Pisces board, she's the one who's toxic .. but, over here, she's the victim.



Awe .... maybe nobody will notice over here ....... she just needs some pity, poor thing
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Aquastic007
@Aquastic
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 99 · Posts: 1598 · Topics: 53
Posted by Aquastic
Posted by iVirgo
You don't sound like a typical aqua what are your placements?
Planet Longitude House
position
Sun 10 Aqu 35' 10" 3
Moon 00 Pis 40' 11" 3
Mercury 23 Aqu 09' 46" 3
Venus 24 Sag 21' 56" 1
Mars 15 Ari 42' 56" 5
Jupiter 23 Pis 05' 08" 4
Saturn 18 Sag 24' 21" 1
Uranus 25 Sag 13' 04" 1
Neptune 06 Cap 45' 56" 1
Pluto 09 Sco 56' 03" 11
Chiron 16 Gem 06' 33" R 7
Lilith 07 Can 40' 06" 8
True Node 13 Ari 29' 05" R 4
P. of Fortune 16 Sco 16' 18" 12
Vertex
click to expand


these placements really confuse me
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Aquastic007
@Aquastic
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 99 · Posts: 1598 · Topics: 53
Posted by scorpx3
Posted by SmartOnTheRocks
Look in the mirror tell yourself you are bad ass and a man must move mountains if they want to even share the same air you breathe as you. It all starts with self love. It's hard to explain if you see it as words but you have to come to a point in life where is practical. literally when you focus on being the best you artsy attract the best. And you know what you deserve so you will never settle for nothing again. Because in YOUR eyes you are something. Basically it all starts with you and how you perceive yourself.

Try this every morning for a month. I am beautiful, I am hard working I am humble. I'm a princess who is loving devoted loyal and giving. I deserve someone who will knock off this tiny Crown on my head and replace it with a bigger 1 to be the Queen of his heart. Until then I'm going to continue reigning in my awesomeness and give everyone around me the best of me.
+100
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m back to gym now! And already feel energetic
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aquariver
@aquariver
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 21 · Topics: 8
I'm so glad I read through this thread! I've always had a fear of losing the one I loved, but not for romantic reasons only, but because we could never truly be friends again. I'm going through this now with an aries. So much was wrong with this relationship and how it made me feel as person, but I stayed because the fear was far greater. Now I've left and I'm feeling lighter.

Building my confidence by speaking things in to existence (something I never believed in), doing different things than my conform zone would allow (I like the unknown, but I love stability so trying anything outside of what I can semi-predict is odd, but I've been doing it!), and understanding that people's actions are based on how they feel about themselves. It allowed me to see my faults and actualize my wants and needs.

Glad to know there's someone out there like me who's moving onward and upward after!
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Aquastic007
@Aquastic
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 99 · Posts: 1598 · Topics: 53
Posted by aquariver
I'm so glad I read through this thread! I've always had a fear of losing the one I loved, but not for romantic reasons only, but because we could never truly be friends again. I'm going through this now with an aries. So much was wrong with this relationship and how it made me feel as person, but I stayed because the fear was far greater. Now I've left and I'm feeling lighter.

Building my confidence by speaking things in to existence (something I never believed in), doing different things than my conform zone would allow (I like the unknown, but I love stability so trying anything outside of what I can semi-predict is odd, but I've been doing it!), and understanding that people's actions are based on how they feel about themselves. It allowed me to see my faults and actualize my wants and needs.

Glad to know there's someone out there like me who's moving onward and upward after!
m glad you managed to get out .Yes a person does feel lighter when toxic people are out of your life. I stopped a friendship and relationship with a very toxic people and I am still recovering from it, but I am very happy I did it, cause it was starting to weigh me down.
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FirstDecanTaurianWoman0428
@FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
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@Op -When peer pressure seeps in that is where you lose will power and focus.. I have will power and so do you. You don't want a guy that is just because you want to fit in with your friends. But you do need a guy that treats you special, opens communication, takes the good and bad trials and traits, adapt, trust, and forming a connection that leads to chemistry along with someone to talk to just for the sake of it.

Someone who calls and takes you out, and someone who is old fashioned and a proper upbringing in life. People who have some goals AND somewhat sexy in their own way. Someone who is serious , someone who lets you meet his friends and family or kids even is important too. So hope everything works out and take the time to take time off and then continue later with someone new.
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Aquastic007
@Aquastic
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 99 · Posts: 1598 · Topics: 53
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
@Op -When peer pressure seeps in that is where you lose will power and focus.. I have will power and so do you. You don't want a guy that is just because you want to fit in with your friends. But you do need a guy that treats you special, opens communication, takes the good and bad trials and traits, adapt, trust, and forming a connection that leads to chemistry along with someone to talk to just for the sake of it.

Someone who calls and takes you out, and someone who is old fashioned and a proper upbringing in life. People who have some goals AND somewhat sexy in their own way. Someone who is serious , someone who lets you meet his friends and family or kids even is important too. So hope everything works out and take the time to take time off and then continue later with someone new.
I can't wait to meet the kind of person you described above. I have somewhat lost hope , cause it seems like every guy I meet is already on a serious relationship or married. Loneliness is underrated so most people don't think of it as a serious thing to go through .What scares me the most is settling for less cause of fear of being lonely.
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FirstDecanTaurianWoman0428
@FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
11 Years10,000+ Posts

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@Op- Trust me I know what you mean. Hell I am Taurus haha. I'm a first decan Taurus Sun-Venus type of life...That means so I am all about that spark of love, and love, did I say love, love topics, love food, and love you too. Love is in the air type of thing..Sheesh but it hasn't came yet and I am patient to wait...

But I am also just like others in well definitely continue to be independent, single, no kids at 34 living life without getting desperate...when it's time to have fun in go do things less expensive but still go out and check dxp thoroughly in the meantime. Haha
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Aquastic007
@Aquastic
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 99 · Posts: 1598 · Topics: 53
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
@Op- Trust me I know what you mean. Hell I am Taurus haha. I'm a first decan Taurus Sun-Venus type of life...That means so I am all about that spark of love, and love, did I say love, love topics, love food, and love you too. Love is in the air type of thing..Sheesh but it hasn't came yet and I am patient to wait...

But I am also just like others in well definitely continue to be independent, single, no kids at 34 living life without getting desperate...when it's time to have fun in go do things less expensive but still go out and check dxp thoroughly in the meantime. Haha
ya one day we will be fine.