AlaniaB
@AlaniaB
10 Years
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I hurt an Aquarius - Can things be fixed?
I guess me saying I didn't want to be his friend anymore. I didn't say it in a terrible way or anything but we'd kissed and slept together and I felt I was getting mixed signals from him.
So me saying I didn't want to be his friend really hurt him and deeply affected him; he's never emotional and never uses words like this so I know he is really, really hurt. I am a bit confused about why though because in the same situation I'd not be that upset and I'd just say "okay well this person has romantic feelings for me and I don't return them so I guess it makes sense for them to need to walk away". I wouldn't take it personally because I'd see it wasn't because they didn't like me or care about me, but he's perception is of a big rejection and abandonment and loss.
It almost again feels like another mixed signal because he's reacted like I was his girlfriend, which is kind of how he was acting.
So me saying I didn't want to be his friend really hurt him and deeply affected him; he's never emotional and never uses words like this so I know he is really, really hurt. I am a bit confused about why though because in the same situation I'd not be that upset and I'd just say "okay well this person has romantic feelings for me and I don't return them so I guess it makes sense for them to need to walk away". I wouldn't take it personally because I'd see it wasn't because they didn't like me or care about me, but he's perception is of a big rejection and abandonment and loss.
It almost again feels like another mixed signal because he's reacted like I was his girlfriend, which is kind of how he was acting.
I don't want to have sex as part of the relationship, but wanted to be friends
Hi Alaina,
Welcome back! Is this the same Aqua from a while ago? I think I remember reading when I first joined you were dating or talking to an Aqua? Also, what’s the rest of your chart? What is chart? I’m wondering because if I know that, it’ll tell me how you guys respond emotionally vs. ego vs. just first response. For example, if you’re a Virgo Venus (no offense) sometimes they have been known to to be PERCEIVED as withholding emotions... but really it’s just they’re more emotionally stable and cautious which would explain why you responded how you did. He definitely likes you for sure more than a friend. There is no Aqua who’s going to reach out like he has (responding to your text after you told him you didn’t want him in your life, sending you a pic of the shirt you bought, spending a lot of quality time with you) if he didn’t have deep feelings for you. You said it’s been a short while, but you guys have bonded and connected mentally and as friends first. And for an Aqua that’s HUGE. Now he keeps saying you’re his friend and he wants to be just friends but it’s because the friendship is his security blanket. He wants more, but is scared that if you guys take that leap you’ll hurt him... like you just did. At least as a friend it’s more collateral of keeping you around. People tend to consider friends more, give friends a second chance when they’ve done something wrong, hold friends more to a high regard than a partner sometimes when it comes to relationships. I have good news.... if the Aqua even responded or came back.... that means you still got him. But what you should do is give him space while still being there. This will be a difficult dance, so you have to decide if he’s worth it. What you’re trying to do is prove that you won’t just up and leave again and that he can TRUST you. Have an honest conversation with him about the relationship... are we JUST friends.... because if so the boundaries are .... will there be more... how will we explore this new relationship if there is more? Start by texting or calling him and telling him you know that you’ve upset him and that he needs space. Tell him you’re willing to give it to him, but first can you guys meet for dinner and talk about some things first because you have some things to be said and he may have some things that need to be said as well. Good luck!
Welcome back! Is this the same Aqua from a while ago? I think I remember reading when I first joined you were dating or talking to an Aqua? Also, what’s the rest of your chart? What is chart? I’m wondering because if I know that, it’ll tell me how you guys respond emotionally vs. ego vs. just first response. For example, if you’re a Virgo Venus (no offense) sometimes they have been known to to be PERCEIVED as withholding emotions... but really it’s just they’re more emotionally stable and cautious which would explain why you responded how you did. He definitely likes you for sure more than a friend. There is no Aqua who’s going to reach out like he has (responding to your text after you told him you didn’t want him in your life, sending you a pic of the shirt you bought, spending a lot of quality time with you) if he didn’t have deep feelings for you. You said it’s been a short while, but you guys have bonded and connected mentally and as friends first. And for an Aqua that’s HUGE. Now he keeps saying you’re his friend and he wants to be just friends but it’s because the friendship is his security blanket. He wants more, but is scared that if you guys take that leap you’ll hurt him... like you just did. At least as a friend it’s more collateral of keeping you around. People tend to consider friends more, give friends a second chance when they’ve done something wrong, hold friends more to a high regard than a partner sometimes when it comes to relationships. I have good news.... if the Aqua even responded or came back.... that means you still got him. But what you should do is give him space while still being there. This will be a difficult dance, so you have to decide if he’s worth it. What you’re trying to do is prove that you won’t just up and leave again and that he can TRUST you. Have an honest conversation with him about the relationship... are we JUST friends.... because if so the boundaries are .... will there be more... how will we explore this new relationship if there is more? Start by texting or calling him and telling him you know that you’ve upset him and that he needs space. Tell him you’re willing to give it to him, but first can you guys meet for dinner and talk about some things first because you have some things to be said and he may have some things that need to be said as well. Good luck!
I also had a familiar situation. It is necessary to remember the weaknesses of the character of Aquarius. After all, he is independent, unpredictable and impulsive, it was decribed on www.Samedaypapers.com. Also, he is not inclined to belong to one person, rather, he will associate a partner with his numerous companies of interest. But all the same he is quick-tempered, emotional, but for a long time he does not hold resentment. Good luck to you!
Hey @Wineaux15 !! good to connect! Nah, this is a different Aqua! We've never dated so we've been friends for a long time and close friends for a short time and things got kind of romantic and sexual recently.
I don't think he just wants me for sex, because the friendship was there for a long time before that ever happened. Maybe the sex was an accident or something, I don't know.
My chart is:
Sun: Scorp
Moon: Pisces
Merc: Saggitarius
Venus: Scorp
Mars: Leo
His chart is:
Sun: Aqua
Moon: Sag
Merc: Campricorn
Venus: Sag
Mars: Sag
He does come across as seriously Aquarian though even though his chart is heavily Sag. He's definitely a bit broody, very, very slow to let anyone in and he finds strong emotions very difficult to cope with!
I don't think he just wants me for sex, because the friendship was there for a long time before that ever happened. Maybe the sex was an accident or something, I don't know.
My chart is:
Sun: Scorp
Moon: Pisces
Merc: Saggitarius
Venus: Scorp
Mars: Leo
His chart is:
Sun: Aqua
Moon: Sag
Merc: Campricorn
Venus: Sag
Mars: Sag
He does come across as seriously Aquarian though even though his chart is heavily Sag. He's definitely a bit broody, very, very slow to let anyone in and he finds strong emotions very difficult to cope with!
Posted by AlaniaBYou also have to look at his house position.
Hey @Wineaux15 !! good to connect! Nah, this is a different Aqua! We've never dated so we've been friends for a long time and close friends for a short time and things got kind of romantic and sexual recently.
I don't think he just wants me for sex, because the friendship was there for a long time before that ever happened. Maybe the sex was an accident or something, I don't know.
My chart is:
Sun: Scorp
Moon: Pisces
Merc: Saggitarius
Venus: Scorp
Mars: Leo
His chart is:
Sun: Aqua
Moon: Sag
Merc: Campricorn
Venus: Sag
Mars: Sag
He does come across as seriously Aquarian though even though his chart is heavily Sag. He's definitely a bit broody, very, very slow to let anyone in and he finds strong emotions very difficult to cope with!
If his sags falls in earth or water house. He'll become less fiery than it supposed to be.
No, I was mad because he instigated the sex with me. He started kissing me and all that and he was the one who made the move. If I had a friend who had feelings for me then I'd have the self control to not hit on them if I knew it would be tough on them.
I did say my ego took a big hit so I'm not in denial, but he's also not innocent here. I wasn't seducing him or anything.
I did say my ego took a big hit so I'm not in denial, but he's also not innocent here. I wasn't seducing him or anything.
Posted by AlaniaBYou guys sysnastry by just looking at signs isn’t the best BUT it doesn’t tell degrees or house placements so it’s not really considered sysnastry. But from your chart it looks like there’s a lot of possible miscommunication that could possibly happen between you two. A lot of your placements that are water Scorp or Pisces equates to his placements of Aqua or Sag. Both Aqua and Sag value freedom, fun, and friendships. I think he truly likes you, but first he’s trying to feel you out in the safe zone which is friendship first. If you get upset with him in his mind so easily then how would you act in a relationship. Iunderstand why you’re upset. I’m there now with my Scorp.... and we see saw. Sometimes I don’t get why he’s so angry with me.... then he explains it and I’m like maybe it MIGHT make SOME sense. I think you have to just sit and talk to him and see where it goes from there.
Hey @Wineaux15 !! good to connect! Nah, this is a different Aqua! We've never dated so we've been friends for a long time and close friends for a short time and things got kind of romantic and sexual recently.
I don't think he just wants me for sex, because the friendship was there for a long time before that ever happened. Maybe the sex was an accident or something, I don't know.
My chart is:
Sun: Scorp
Moon: Pisces
Merc: Saggitarius
Venus: Scorp
Mars: Leo
His chart is:
Sun: Aqua
Moon: Sag
Merc: Campricorn
Venus: Sag
Mars: Sag
He does come across as seriously Aquarian though even though his chart is heavily Sag. He's definitely a bit broody, very, very slow to let anyone in and he finds strong emotions very difficult to cope with!
Posted by Wineaux15Thank you. This relationship (even just as friends!) definitely requires a lot of communication effort from me, but I found also that he has a positive effect on me because I need to just be open, honest, gentle and patient and none of those things come all that naturally to a Scorpio! At least not before we feel secure. By turn, he's adapted to me a lot and has become more emotional and much more interested in talking about feelings. Anyway, he's talking to me now and seems warmer towards me so hopefully this "space" isn't going to last long and we can figure it out. I do know he really likes me (I don't feel confident it's as more than a friend) but whatever it is it can still mean a lot.Posted by AlaniaBYou guys sysnastry by just looking at signs isn’t the best BUT it doesn’t tell degrees or house placements so it’s not really considered sysnastry. But from your chart it looks like there’s a lot of possible miscommunication that could possibly happen between you two. A lot of your placements that are water Scorp or Pisces equates to his placements of Aqua or Sag. Both Aqua and Sag value freedom, fun, and friendships. I think he truly likes you, but first he’s trying to feel you out in the safe zone which is friendship first. If you get upset with him in his mind so easily then how would you act in a relationship. Iunderstand why you’re upset. I’m there now with my Scorp.... and we see saw. Sometimes I don’t get why he’s so angry with me.... then he explains it and I’m like maybe it MIGHT make SOME sense. I think you have to just sit and talk to him and see where it goes from there.
Hey @Wineaux15 !! good to connect! Nah, this is a different Aqua! We've never dated so we've been friends for a long time and close friends for a short time and things got kind of romantic and sexual recently.
I don't think he just wants me for sex, because the friendship was there for a long time before that ever happened. Maybe the sex was an accident or something, I don't know.
My chart is:
Sun: Scorp
Moon: Pisces
Merc: Saggitarius
Venus: Scorp
Mars: Leo
His chart is:
Sun: Aqua
Moon: Sag
Merc: Campricorn
Venus: Sag
Mars: Sag
He does come across as seriously Aquarian though even though his chart is heavily Sag. He's definitely a bit broody, very, very slow to let anyone in and he finds strong emotions very difficult to cope with!
click to expand
Posted by Wineaux15Thank you for giving me this advice yesterday. I reached out to him again, gently, and was just open and told him that I was really sad we weren't talking. He then said that I was "sweet, as ever" and asked me if I was okay, and then started talking to me normally again after that. So maybe he just needed to hear that I actually missed him and was sad. He asked me if I wanted to go to the movies this week and then asked for my help booking a vacation with his family this summer so we ended up just going back to normal with each other. I'm amazed because he usually gives the silent treatment in any situation like that but hopefully our friendship bond now is stronger.
Hi Alaina,
Welcome back! Is this the same Aqua from a while ago? I think I remember reading when I first joined you were dating or talking to an Aqua? Also, what’s the rest of your chart? What is chart? I’m wondering because if I know that, it’ll tell me how you guys respond emotionally vs. ego vs. just first response. For example, if you’re a Virgo Venus (no offense) sometimes they have been known to to be PERCEIVED as withholding emotions... but really it’s just they’re more emotionally stable and cautious which would explain why you responded how you did. He definitely likes you for sure more than a friend. There is no Aqua who’s going to reach out like he has (responding to your text after you told him you didn’t want him in your life, sending you a pic of the shirt you bought, spending a lot of quality time with you) if he didn’t have deep feelings for you. You said it’s been a short while, but you guys have bonded and connected mentally and as friends first. And for an Aqua that’s HUGE. Now he keeps saying you’re his friend and he wants to be just friends but it’s because the friendship is his security blanket. He wants more, but is scared that if you guys take that leap you’ll hurt him... like you just did. At least as a friend it’s more collateral of keeping you around. People tend to consider friends more, give friends a second chance when they’ve done something wrong, hold friends more to a high regard than a partner sometimes when it comes to relationships. I have good news.... if the Aqua even responded or came back.... that means you still got him. But what you should do is give him space while still being there. This will be a difficult dance, so you have to decide if he’s worth it. What you’re trying to do is prove that you won’t just up and leave again and that he can TRUST you. Have an honest conversation with him about the relationship... are we JUST friends.... because if so the boundaries are .... will there be more... how will we explore this new relationship if there is more? Start by texting or calling him and telling him you know that you’ve upset him and that he needs space. Tell him you’re willing to give it to him, but first can you guys meet for dinner and talk about some things first because you have some things to be said and he may have some things that need to be said as well. Good luck!
I hope what you said is true and he does have some feelings beyond a friend, but if not, he's still pretty great!
Posted by AlaniaBPosted by Wineaux15Thank you for giving me this advice yesterday. I reached out to him again, gently, and was just open and told him that I was really sad we weren't talking. He then said that I was "sweet, as ever" and asked me if I was okay, and then started talking to me normally again after that. So maybe he just needed to hear that I actually missed him and was sad. He asked me if I wanted to go to the movies this week and then asked for my help booking a vacation with his family this summer so we ended up just going back to normal with each other. I'm amazed because he usually gives the silent treatment in any situation like that but hopefully our friendship bond now is stronger.
Hi Alaina,
Welcome back! Is this the same Aqua from a while ago? I think I remember reading when I first joined you were dating or talking to an Aqua? Also, what’s the rest of your chart? What is chart? I’m wondering because if I know that, it’ll tell me how you guys respond emotionally vs. ego vs. just first response. For example, if you’re a Virgo Venus (no offense) sometimes they have been known to to be PERCEIVED as withholding emotions... but really it’s just they’re more emotionally stable and cautious which would explain why you responded how you did. He definitely likes you for sure more than a friend. There is no Aqua who’s going to reach out like he has (responding to your text after you told him you didn’t want him in your life, sending you a pic of the shirt you bought, spending a lot of quality time with you) if he didn’t have deep feelings for you. You said it’s been a short while, but you guys have bonded and connected mentally and as friends first. And for an Aqua that’s HUGE. Now he keeps saying you’re his friend and he wants to be just friends but it’s because the friendship is his security blanket. He wants more, but is scared that if you guys take that leap you’ll hurt him... like you just did. At least as a friend it’s more collateral of keeping you around. People tend to consider friends more, give friends a second chance when they’ve done something wrong, hold friends more to a high regard than a partner sometimes when it comes to relationships. I have good news.... if the Aqua even responded or came back.... that means you still got him. But what you should do is give him space while still being there. This will be a difficult dance, so you have to decide if he’s worth it. What you’re trying to do is prove that you won’t just up and leave again and that he can TRUST you. Have an honest conversation with him about the relationship... are we JUST friends.... because if so the boundaries are .... will there be more... how will we explore this new relationship if there is more? Start by texting or calling him and telling him you know that you’ve upset him and that he needs space. Tell him you’re willing to give it to him, but first can you guys meet for dinner and talk about some things first because you have some things to be said and he may have some things that need to be said as well. Good luck!
I hope what you said is true and he does have some feelings beyond a friend, but if not, he's still pretty great!
click to expand
Yay!!!!! Glad to hear! Yes he likes you! I hope it works out for you guys. Keep me posted.
Yeah, he has a fucc boi Moon, Mars and Venus! With all that freedom wanting to boot! Good luck!
You have a little bit of clinginess too. But hopefully your mars pride is enough so you can get a grip.
You just never can tell with Aquas though, they do what they want, when they want. The only way to know is if he comes back often.
You have a little bit of clinginess too. But hopefully your mars pride is enough so you can get a grip.
You just never can tell with Aquas though, they do what they want, when they want. The only way to know is if he comes back often.
Posted by vixen14His exact words were "I see as as friends, at least for now".
I have to disagree with Wineaux15, doesn't sound like he likes you in that way. He shot you down twice. Him taking the leap for sex was just him wanting sex. If he would have said something like, "lets be friends first, then we'll see" then that would be more understandable. But he didn't. He said he just wanted to be friends. The spark and interest is now gone that he got what he wanted. Plus, he knows you have feelings - > I'd say drop him. you can't be friends anymore.
Hope?
Posted by vixen14His exact words were "I see as as friends, at least for now".
I have to disagree with Wineaux15, doesn't sound like he likes you in that way. He shot you down twice. Him taking the leap for sex was just him wanting sex. If he would have said something like, "lets be friends first, then we'll see" then that would be more understandable. But he didn't. He said he just wanted to be friends. The spark and interest is now gone that he got what he wanted. Plus, he knows you have feelings - > I'd say drop him. you can't be friends anymore.
Hope?
We shall see... 🤷🏽♀️Keep us updated. I hope for the best!
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It might help get better advice if I can describe the relationship.
We are friends but he used to have a big crush on me so there's also attraction beyond friends and always has been. It took a really long time for us to actually be real friends (more than a year!). I'd say he was testing and making his mind up about me for a long time and then he just seemed to click into place and suddenly wanted to be kind of like my best friend.
When I split up with my boyfriend a couple of months ago we started doing stuff together just the two of us and the relationship between us felt a lot more than friends. We kissed one day and it was a lot of sparks and chemistry but he said he just wanted to be friends after.
I was pretty crushed (felt rejected, Scorpio pride) and kind of expected him to pull back and spend less time with me (this is what I would do if I felt a friend was into me), but the opposite happened and he seemed to get even closer to me and suddenly wanted to spend practically every day with me over the last 2-3 weeks. Then we had sex and it was incredible but he still said he just wanted to be friends after!!!
This time I was really crushed (and also mad and embarrassed that he slept with me if he hadn't any feelings). So I cried for a long time that day and then figured that we couldn't be friends if I had feelings and he didn't want me so I told him I had to move on and we couldn't talk anymore. As a Scorp, I can cut people off dead if I feel it's better for me.
I didn't talk to him for a week, and then I felt really bad about it once my anger went. I am mad at him but I also felt like we should try and patch it up and resolve the friendship because we obviously have a really, really special bond between us. Intuitively I felt like it took him a really long time to open up his private world to me, and even if his feelings aren't the same as mine that I am really important to him. The thought of him being sad or hurt was kind of worse than my damaged ego. Maybe I really love him because it's unlike me to back down.
So I sent him a message that I missed him and wanted us to be friends again and he replied to me right away, this surprised me as normally he sulks and ignores if he is upset. Then his response also surprised me because he's never verbal with emotions but he said that he understood why I'd said I didn't want him in my life anymore and that I hadn't done anything wrong, but he said it had "really affected him" and "really hurt him". He said he does want to be friends but that it had been really hard for him to cope with me leaving him and he'd started the process of "adapting" to losing me. He said could he please have some time to get his head around it. I said "of course". A few hours later he sent me a picture message (also something he never does) or him sitting on the couch with a t-shirt on that I bought him as a gift, so I guess a reference to a sentimental memory with me and that felt like a small olive branch.
I am a bit confused over a few things; I guess one of them is why he is so upset about this because it's seemed like he was reacting to a break-up rather than a friend thing and although we're close we have only been close for a couple of months.
Another is what he means by "hes's been adapting" ----- does he mean he's been forgetting me or replacing my role in his life or something?
I also don't know if asking for space means that's what he really wants or if he really needs me to chase a little and make him laugh or something or show how much I care. What can I do to get the relationship back to how it was?
The sense I get is that he is one of those people who thinks everyone is going to leave him and he finds it hard to trust (he never trusts anyone!) and I feel a bit like he gave me that rare position in his life and I screwed that up. I don't think he's innocent in the situation but in a lot of ways I feel like I am emotionally stronger than he is and he is more insecure.
I don't take all the blame for that because he hurt me too. If you have a female friend and just wanna be friends then I guess don't sleep with her.
I also feel like he's been talking to other women now too This makes me feel kind of bad too because until now he'd be online talking to me every night unless we were together, he was never online unless it was to talk to me ; and now today he was online talking to someone else and not me. It stung my heart! Has he met someone else romantically now so quickly?