Aries daughter knows how to injure my heart

I have an Aries daughter, and a Libra daughter and am currently, completely crushed. I got several calls late last night, and found that my 2 daughters (who live 1600 miles away from me) had gone out together drinking, but the night ended in my oldest (Libra) getting drunk and attacking her sister. The cops were called by the neighbors and my oldest was taken to jail. This isn't her first time doing this... The same thing happened with me, a few years back. Except I was sober and trying to stop her from attacking her boyfriend. She swung on me, I dropped her, then she took another swing at me in front of the police. She is the sweetest girl, until you add alcohol. 😢 Anyhow, back to my aries.. I got a call from her, after all the drama and she was telling me I needed to do something about her sister, to which I replied "She's 22 and you guys are way the hell in ND, what the hell am I supposed to do about it?" My Aries girl will always, and has always drained me with her busy energy and she is very good at wounding me. Here it is, Mother's day weekend, and not only will I be alone, I'm now to blame for "Not taking responsibility" for my grown ass daughters. I'm absolutely crushed. I don't even want to talk to her, at this point.

Grown ass daughters?

My mother could be real annoying as hell, but I wouldn't blame my actions towards her if it doesnt relate anything to her.

You are long distance with your daughters, correct me if I am wrong because that's what I comprehended reading this... being the mom, you're going to have to tell her to be responsible with her life and take accountable for her actions.

Like what my mother says, "you want momma to hold your hands forever?? I wouldn't be around for so long, you're going to have to deal with everything yourself. And you're a grown up ass woman, act like your God damn age."

Posted by WarAngel1
Not what you want to hear mama, but in this case the Aries daughter is right.

Although she's not your sole responsibility, she's not exactly grown either or mature for that matter under the influence.

You know you've got a problem when the cops need to keep coming out. Consider bringing the eldest closer to home until she can level out.

The problem with my eldest Libra is, she does only what she wants to do. She pushed herself to be an adult, far before it was time. She had moved out of the state at the age of 18, shortly after her first arrest. She was back and forth for a bit and moved north, with her bf to where the rest of my family is, because the work/wages are higher. I've tried bringing her back to be with me, but she actually would be worse off here. There's a reason none of my family live in this state anymore, it's not a place to thrive.

Posted by halalbae
So your Libra is causing trouble, but your Aries is ''wounding'' your heart for telling you to be a mother to your problematic Libra daughter? Your anger is directed at the Aries because for some reason you cant confront the Libra


Sometimes if someone makes a comment thats not necessarily complimentary to your character, they make the comment because they know what you NEED to hear. Its important to have people in your life who will tell you when youre slacking
Discernment is knowing what peoples intentions are, once you know that, you can check your unnecessary sensitivity and let people aka your Aries daughter look out for you/your family

My question, how am I slacking?? Whenever I did wrong, at a young age, I was to deal with the consequences. My Mom, or grandparents weren't blamed or told they needed to fix Me. I learned my lessons the hard way, but I learned.

My Aries did wound me, and I'm not overly sensitive to the situation, I'm appropriately sensitive. My entire family lives in the same state as each other, and me and my son are the only ones left here. I have "Been a Mother" to all my children and that's why this whole thing hurts me.

Posted by WarAngel1

Posted by TaurusMom41

Posted by WarAngel1
Not what you want to hear mama, but in this case the Aries daughter is right.

Although she's not your sole responsibility, she's not exactly grown either or mature for that matter under the influence.

You know you've got a problem when the cops need to keep coming out. Consider bringing the eldest closer to home until she can level out.

The problem with my eldest Libra is, she does only what she wants to do. She pushed herself to be an adult, far before it was time. She had moved out of the state at the age of 18, shortly after her first arrest. She was back and forth for a bit and moved north, with her bf to where the rest of my family is, because the work/wages are higher. I've tried bringing her back to be with me, but she actually would be worse off here. There's a reason none of my family live in this state anymore, it's not a place to thrive. click to expand

I sympathize. At the same time however even if the prospects where you currently live aren't so great what's the alternative? Having an arrest record isn't exactly going to endear them to future employers.

Something's gotta give, and I'm pretty sure it will be her first. I wanted to pretend I was an adult to at the age of 22, sadly I was clearly mistaken. Your youngest daughter is giving you a warning before something worse happens. click to expand

click to expand

Not so great, is an understatement. I live in New Mexico... in case you're curious look up the stats. I'm currently attending school so that I can move out of this hellhole myself.

Posted by TaurusMom41

Posted by halalbae
So your Libra is causing trouble, but your Aries is ''wounding'' your heart for telling you to be a mother to your problematic Libra daughter? Your anger is directed at the Aries because for some reason you cant confront the Libra


Sometimes if someone makes a comment thats not necessarily complimentary to your character, they make the comment because they know what you NEED to hear. Its important to have people in your life who will tell you when youre slacking
Discernment is knowing what peoples intentions are, once you know that, you can check your unnecessary sensitivity and let people aka your Aries daughter look out for you/your family

My question, how am I slacking?? Whenever I did wrong, at a young age, I was to deal with the consequences. My Mom, or grandparents weren't blamed or told they needed to fix Me. I learned my lessons the hard way, but I learned.
My Aries did wound me, and I'm not overly sensitive to the situation, I'm appropriately sensitive. My entire family lives in the same state as each other, and me and my son are the only ones left here. I have "Been a Mother" to all my children and that's why this whole thing hurts me.
click to expand

click to expand

Don't take it the wrong way... every mother tries their best; that's not the issue here. The issue is that your Libra daughter has major issues and regardless of her age she still needs her mother whether she realizes or not. You're not as helpless as the situation may make you out to be because no matter what age you are your mother always has a right to give you a good talking to! Truly nothing affects us more than disappointing our mom.

I don't know if it's because you're a Taurus but my experience with talking to Tauruses about their parenting hasn't been positive. I knew a Taurus gf and gave her early warning signs about her son and she ignored it and got defensive until it became so much worse as he got older. Problems don't go away; they just get bigger.

I think your Aries daughter is just trying to help so rather than saying the mother day weekend is ruined you should reach out to your Aries daughter and come up with an action plan to help your Libra daughter. I think some parents think that just because they raised their kids it's granted that their kids need to always approach them first but unfortunately that mother role is for life... so you have to be the strong pillar for your daughters and bring your family together.

Posted by halalbae

Posted by TaurusMom41

Posted by halalbae
So your Libra is causing trouble, but your Aries is ''wounding'' your heart for telling you to be a mother to your problematic Libra daughter? Your anger is directed at the Aries because for some reason you cant confront the Libra


Sometimes if someone makes a comment thats not necessarily complimentary to your character, they make the comment because they know what you NEED to hear. Its important to have people in your life who will tell you when youre slacking
Discernment is knowing what peoples intentions are, once you know that, you can check your unnecessary sensitivity and let people aka your Aries daughter look out for you/your family

My question, how am I slacking?? Whenever I did wrong, at a young age, I was to deal with the consequences. My Mom, or grandparents weren't blamed or told they needed to fix Me. I learned my lessons the hard way, but I learned.
My Aries did wound me, and I'm not overly sensitive to the situation, I'm appropriately sensitive. My entire family lives in the same state as each other, and me and my son are the only ones left here. I have "Been a Mother" to all my children and that's why this whole thing hurts me.
click to expand

You say you HAVE BEEN a mother to them, but you still need to be a mother to them until the day you die. It is what it is. You brought them into this world, youre responsible for them. Nobody forced you to fuck raw. They didnt ask for none of this. Youre being self absorbed and weak if you dismiss them. Not to be mean but I feel bad and sorry for your children if you only want to deal with them during good times ''mothersday'' but refuse to deal with them when theyre in trouble and truly need you as their mother

And did you really go into labor for hours, nearly dying to birth them just for them to be out here being problematic? 😣 click to expand

click to expand

No need to feel sorry for my children. I'm always there, regardless the situation. But blaming me for their own actions, is only going to make their lives difficult. I made plenty of mistakes as a young adult, but never did I blame my family. I faced up to what I did. I don't see where I have dismissed them... You don't know the many times I've been there, trying to help them. I can't live their lives for them!

I get your frustration but at the same time she will always be your daughter and you will always be her mother. It’s natural she turns to you in times of crisis.

Last week I had a crisis and my mom dropped everything and drove 2ish hours to come take care of me. I’m 30.

Love you mom!

Posted by Superman77

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by WarAngel1
Not what you want to hear mama, but in this case the Aries daughter is right.

Although she's not your sole responsibility, she's not exactly grown either or mature for that matter under the influence.

You know you've got a problem when the cops need to keep coming out. Consider bringing the eldest closer to home until she can level out.

I don’t know but In our family we will do
Anything even intervene in their lives if we see them spiraling out of control.
Over age under age don’t make a difference
If that means flying to them for an ass whipping lol or going to have n seriously talk to her wtf is going on. But I’d be in That plane click to expand

God damn straight I’d be on that plane. Especially if it was MY kids. click to expand

click to expand

Must be nice for people to have that type of income, to do such. Not plausible in my case.

Posted by halalbae

Posted by TaurusMom41

Posted by halalbae
So your Libra is causing trouble, but your Aries is ''wounding'' your heart for telling you to be a mother to your problematic Libra daughter? Your anger is directed at the Aries because for some reason you cant confront the Libra


Sometimes if someone makes a comment thats not necessarily complimentary to your character, they make the comment because they know what you NEED to hear. Its important to have people in your life who will tell you when youre slacking
Discernment is knowing what peoples intentions are, once you know that, you can check your unnecessary sensitivity and let people aka your Aries daughter look out for you/your family

My question, how am I slacking?? Whenever I did wrong, at a young age, I was to deal with the consequences. My Mom, or grandparents weren't blamed or told they needed to fix Me. I learned my lessons the hard way, but I learned.
My Aries did wound me, and I'm not overly sensitive to the situation, I'm appropriately sensitive. My entire family lives in the same state as each other, and me and my son are the only ones left here. I have "Been a Mother" to all my children and that's why this whole thing hurts me.
click to expand

You say you HAVE BEEN a mother to them, but you still need to be a mother to them until the day you die. It is what it is. You brought them into this world, youre responsible for them. Nobody forced you to treetrunk raw. They didnt ask for none of this. Youre being self absorbed and weak if you dismiss them. Not to be mean but I feel bad and sorry for your children if you only want to deal with them during good times ''mothersday'' but refuse to deal with them when theyre in trouble and truly need you as their mother

And did you really go into labor for hours, nearly dying to birth them just for them to be out here being problematic? 😣 click to expand

click to expand

ok calm down there parent police. Do you even have kids?

I don't but I sure do understand that parents are human beings too. They're not some superman/superwoman that kids make them out to be. And just because you decided to have kids and have raised them doesn't mean your infinitely responsible for every single action they take. I know great parents who end up with horrible kids for one reason or another. You're way too extreme in your approach to parenting.

parenting is doing your best with what you have, not that you can be solely responsible for every single action your child takes. That's just unrealistic and in fact damaging to relationships.

I do agree with you that parenting never ends but at the same time parents don't need to ebat themselves up for their children's mistakes. Try to make to make it better? Yes. But to think it all falls on your shoulders? Hell no.

To tell somebody oh just because you decided to fuck raw now it means you're forever responsible for this person is plain ignorant and frankly rude. How are you going to shame this woman into dealing with an issue? That's not a place of empowering. Strong women empower, not shame. So you're the one actually being weak with your post.

Posted by Superman77

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by halalbae

Posted by TaurusMom41

Posted by halalbae
So your Libra is causing trouble, but your Aries is ''wounding'' your heart for telling you to be a mother to your problematic Libra daughter? Your anger is directed at the Aries because for some reason you cant confront the Libra


Sometimes if someone makes a comment thats not necessarily complimentary to your character, they make the comment because they know what you NEED to hear. Its important to have people in your life who will tell you when youre slacking
Discernment is knowing what peoples intentions are, once you know that, you can check your unnecessary sensitivity and let people aka your Aries daughter look out for you/your family

My question, how am I slacking?? Whenever I did wrong, at a young age, I was to deal with the consequences. My Mom, or grandparents weren't blamed or told they needed to fix Me. I learned my lessons the hard way, but I learned.
My Aries did wound me, and I'm not overly sensitive to the situation, I'm appropriately sensitive. My entire family lives in the same state as each other, and me and my son are the only ones left here. I have "Been a Mother" to all my children and that's why this whole thing hurts me.
click to expand

You say you HAVE BEEN a mother to them, but you still need to be a mother to them until the day you die. It is what it is. You brought them into this world, youre responsible for them. Nobody forced you to treetrunk raw. They didnt ask for none of this. Youre being self absorbed and weak if you dismiss them. Not to be mean but I feel bad and sorry for your children if you only want to deal with them during good times ''mothersday'' but refuse to deal with them when theyre in trouble and truly need you as their mother

And did you really go into labor for hours, nearly dying to birth them just for them to be out here being problematic? 😣 click to expand

ok calm down there parent police. Do you even have kids?

I don't but I sure do understand that parents are human beings too. They're not some superman/superwoman that kids make them out to be. And just because you decided to have kids and have raised them doesn't mean your infinitely responsible for every single action they take. I know great parents who end up with horrible kids for one reason or another. You're way too extreme in your approach to parenting.

parenting is doing your best with what you have, not that you can be solely responsible for every single action your child takes. That's just unrealistic and in fact damaging to relationships.

I do agree with you that parenting never ends but at the same time parents don't need to ebat themselves up for their children's mistakes. Try to make to make it better? Yes. But to think it all falls on your shoulders? Hell no.

To tell somebody oh just because you decided to treetrunk raw now it means you're forever responsible for this person is plain ignorant and frankly rude. How are you going to shame this woman into dealing with an issue? That's not a place of empowering. Strong women empower, not shame. So you're the one actually being weak with your post.
click to expand

You don’t have kids but you’re giving out expert parenting advice? Just Lol click to expand

click to expand

Yes it's called psychology and child development. You don't always need the experience to know about a subject... Your logic slips.

Posted by Superman77

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by WarAngel1
Not what you want to hear mama, but in this case the Aries daughter is right.

Although she's not your sole responsibility, she's not exactly grown either or mature for that matter under the influence.

You know you've got a problem when the cops need to keep coming out. Consider bringing the eldest closer to home until she can level out.

I don’t know but In our family we will do
Anything even intervene in their lives if we see them spiraling out of control.
Over age under age don’t make a difference
If that means flying to them for an ass whipping lol or going to have n seriously talk to her wtf is going on. But I’d be in That plane click to expand

God damn straight I’d be on that plane. Especially if it was MY kids. click to expand

click to expand

I'd borrow the money if need be and jump on that plane

We are parents for life

Posted by Superman77

Posted by TaurusMom41

Posted by Superman77

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by WarAngel1
Not what you want to hear mama, but in this case the Aries daughter is right.

Although she's not your sole responsibility, she's not exactly grown either or mature for that matter under the influence.

You know you've got a problem when the cops need to keep coming out. Consider bringing the eldest closer to home until she can level out.

I don’t know but In our family we will do
Anything even intervene in their lives if we see them spiraling out of control.
Over age under age don’t make a difference
If that means flying to them for an ass whipping lol or going to have n seriously talk to her wtf is going on. But I’d be in That plane click to expand

God damn straight I’d be on that plane. Especially if it was MY kids. click to expand

Must be nice for people to have that type of income, to do such. Not plausible in my case. click to expand

You got a job? Car? Credit cards? click to expand

click to expand

I'm a student with a part time job that makes $ 10/hr. Credit cards maxed out for student loans.

Tell the Capricorn your troubles. He’ll prolly hook you up with tickets.

Posted by Superman77

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by Superman77

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by halalbae

Posted by TaurusMom41

Posted by halalbae
So your Libra is causing trouble, but your Aries is ''wounding'' your heart for telling you to be a mother to your problematic Libra daughter? Your anger is directed at the Aries because for some reason you cant confront the Libra


Sometimes if someone makes a comment thats not necessarily complimentary to your character, they make the comment because they know what you NEED to hear. Its important to have people in your life who will tell you when youre slacking
Discernment is knowing what peoples intentions are, once you know that, you can check your unnecessary sensitivity and let people aka your Aries daughter look out for you/your family

My question, how am I slacking?? Whenever I did wrong, at a young age, I was to deal with the consequences. My Mom, or grandparents weren't blamed or told they needed to fix Me. I learned my lessons the hard way, but I learned.
My Aries did wound me, and I'm not overly sensitive to the situation, I'm appropriately sensitive. My entire family lives in the same state as each other, and me and my son are the only ones left here. I have "Been a Mother" to all my children and that's why this whole thing hurts me.
click to expand

You say you HAVE BEEN a mother to them, but you still need to be a mother to them until the day you die. It is what it is. You brought them into this world, youre responsible for them. Nobody forced you to treetrunk raw. They didnt ask for none of this. Youre being self absorbed and weak if you dismiss them. Not to be mean but I feel bad and sorry for your children if you only want to deal with them during good times ''mothersday'' but refuse to deal with them when theyre in trouble and truly need you as their mother

And did you really go into labor for hours, nearly dying to birth them just for them to be out here being problematic? 😣 click to expand

ok calm down there parent police. Do you even have kids?

I don't but I sure do understand that parents are human beings too. They're not some superman/superwoman that kids make them out to be. And just because you decided to have kids and have raised them doesn't mean your infinitely responsible for every single action they take. I know great parents who end up with horrible kids for one reason or another. You're way too extreme in your approach to parenting.

parenting is doing your best with what you have, not that you can be solely responsible for every single action your child takes. That's just unrealistic and in fact damaging to relationships.

I do agree with you that parenting never ends but at the same time parents don't need to ebat themselves up for their children's mistakes. Try to make to make it better? Yes. But to think it all falls on your shoulders? Hell no.

To tell somebody oh just because you decided to treetrunk raw now it means you're forever responsible for this person is plain ignorant and frankly rude. How are you going to shame this woman into dealing with an issue? That's not a place of empowering. Strong women empower, not shame. So you're the one actually being weak with your post.
click to expand

You don’t have kids but you’re giving out expert parenting advice? Just Lol click to expand

Yes it's called psychology and child development. You don't always need the experience to know about a subject... Your logic slips. click to expand

Just lmao. You can take all the classroom stuff to drive a car. Still don’t make a butter till you get behind the wheel and press on the gas and get in traffic. click to expand

click to expand

But i can still tell you what is an appropriate way of handling that four way stop sign.

Posted by LadyNeptune
Tell the Capricorn your troubles. He’ll prolly hook you up with tickets.

Yes, he would but I would never ask that of him.

Posted by The_Mad_H8R
Where is your kids' dad through all this?

He hasn't been present since they were toddlers. He's toxic and horribly abusive.

Posted by The_Mad_H8R
Is he aware of how the Libra has been acting? Is he even involved in their lives?

He would pat her on the back and say "That's my girl. " He ended up in prison after i left him. Beat up his own Mom.

Posted by TaurusMom41

Posted by The_Mad_H8R
Where is your kids' dad through all this?

He hasn't been present since they were toddlers. He's toxic and horribly abusive. click to expand

click to expand

That is tough

What about family.....brothers, sisters, parents...would they help you out with this

Your girl is in prison....you need to be there for her

....and I don't want to sound mean, but it's not about you being alone on Mother's Day etc....it's about giving unconditional love and support to your girls. Your Aries girl has a right to sound off about her sis....you are their mother. Bloody tough, I know....but that's the deal we make

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by TaurusMom41

Posted by The_Mad_H8R
Where is your kids' dad through all this?

He hasn't been present since they were toddlers. He's toxic and horribly abusive. click to expand

That is tough

What about family.....brothers, sisters, parents...would they help you out with this

Your girl is in prison....you need to be there for her click to expand

click to expand

I was just informed that she was escorted off the property and held overnight for protective custody. She'll only catch charges if her sister presses charges.

Posted by The_Mad_H8R

Posted by TaurusMom41

Posted by The_Mad_H8R
Where is your kids' dad through all this?

He hasn't been present since they were toddlers. He's toxic and horribly abusive. click to expand

Do your kids have an older male family role model they look up to? This kind of situation is harder for a mom. I hate to say it when it comes to discipline moms being the nurturer are often not taken seriously as a disciplinarian. Single mothers have it hard. click to expand

click to expand

No, they don't. My grandfather was all our male role model. He passed 2 years ago.

Posted by TaurusMom41

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by TaurusMom41

Posted by The_Mad_H8R
Where is your kids' dad through all this?

He hasn't been present since they were toddlers. He's toxic and horribly abusive. click to expand

That is tough

What about family.....brothers, sisters, parents...would they help you out with this

Your girl is in prison....you need to be there for her click to expand

I was just informed that she was escorted off the property and held overnight for protective custody. She'll only catch charges if her sister presses charges. click to expand

click to expand

She will still need you

Posted by greengemini_
Was she charged with anything? Assault?

Not as of yet. That's up to my Aries girl.

Posted by TaurusMom41

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by TaurusMom41

Posted by The_Mad_H8R
Where is your kids' dad through all this?

He hasn't been present since they were toddlers. He's toxic and horribly abusive. click to expand

That is tough

What about family.....brothers, sisters, parents...would they help you out with this

Your girl is in prison....you need to be there for her click to expand

I was just informed that she was escorted off the property and held overnight for protective custody. She'll only catch charges if her sister presses charges. click to expand

click to expand

Thank god your kids aren’t black and are still alive after interacting with police. Js.

Posted by TaurusMom41

Posted by LadyNeptune
Tell the Capricorn your troubles. He’ll prolly hook you up with tickets.

Yes, he would but I would never ask that of him. click to expand

click to expand

Don’t ask. Just tell him what’s up so he can offer emotional support and advice. Betcha he’ll offer tickets as well.

I'd really try to establish why she needs to get so loaded that her personality totally changes....you may need to get her some help with this....

Can you get your libra daughter into treatment? Or some type of help for her drinking problem? Sounds like it's been an issue for some time. If she is an alcoholic she will rip everyone else's life apart and sometimes it takes the family coming together to stop it. Can you reach out to those that are near her and attempt to coordinate something?

None of us are you or them so we can only speculate and give advise as to how we would deal. From my view your Aries daughter is seeking help, I don't think she's trying to blame you.

Yes it's sucks that it's coming to a head over Mother's Day, but there may be deeper reasons behind it. Just something to think about.

Your eldest is a disorderly, aggressive drunk, who takes police time from more important duties, and you come here complaining about your youngest....? Because your youngest DARED to point out to your motherly duties?

WTF?! Are you a bloody narcissist who came here to play the victim, and not even realize how unjust your actions are....?

Yes, it IS your f-king responsibility! People like your eldest need someone who is in charge, because they lost it! She should not be allowed to drink, let alone go out for drinks! You need to talk, threaten, slap, coerce, control her and everyone WHO TAKES HER FOR DRINKS. Put your alcohol-crazed eldest daughter in the rehab, before she kills someone, herself included!

Posted by Superman77

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by TaurusMom41

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by TaurusMom41

Posted by The_Mad_H8R
Where is your kids' dad through all this?

He hasn't been present since they were toddlers. He's toxic and horribly abusive. click to expand

That is tough

What about family.....brothers, sisters, parents...would they help you out with this

Your girl is in prison....you need to be there for her click to expand

I was just informed that she was escorted off the property and held overnight for protective custody. She'll only catch charges if her sister presses charges. click to expand

Thank god your kids aren’t black and are still alive after interacting with police. Js. click to expand

Lmao.

Not every black person that encounters the police, die.

What’s the % on that statistic? .2% ? click to expand

click to expand

Go away troll. I’m not interested in what you have to say. Keep it moving.

Posted by greengemini_
It's a prevelant thought in American culture to kick kids out at 18 because we confuse legal age with adulthood.

Sounds like your parents did the same to you so you continue the cycle. And judging by your pics, tattoos n all, you have a little edge to you too and no doubt have a story to tell.

Just like some of the users said, you never stop being a mother.

Help her deal with whatever resentment and anger she's carrying by just being there...you don't even have to say the right things...your presence and love alone will ease her anger.

Amen to this

18 isn't an adult in the full sense of the word. Parts of the brain aren't formed fully until mid 20s

If I hear one more mother say "18 done and dusted"' I swear I will scream at them ...NO IT IS NOT DONE.....IT IS FOR LIFE"

People 🙄

Posted by halalbae

Posted by TaurusMom41

Posted by halalbae
So your Libra is causing trouble, but your Aries is ''wounding'' your heart for telling you to be a mother to your problematic Libra daughter? Your anger is directed at the Aries because for some reason you cant confront the Libra


Sometimes if someone makes a comment thats not necessarily complimentary to your character, they make the comment because they know what you NEED to hear. Its important to have people in your life who will tell you when youre slacking
Discernment is knowing what peoples intentions are, once you know that, you can check your unnecessary sensitivity and let people aka your Aries daughter look out for you/your family

My question, how am I slacking?? Whenever I did wrong, at a young age, I was to deal with the consequences. My Mom, or grandparents weren't blamed or told they needed to fix Me. I learned my lessons the hard way, but I learned.
My Aries did wound me, and I'm not overly sensitive to the situation, I'm appropriately sensitive. My entire family lives in the same state as each other, and me and my son are the only ones left here. I have "Been a Mother" to all my children and that's why this whole thing hurts me.
click to expand

You say you HAVE BEEN a mother to them, but you still need to be a mother to them until the day you die. It is what it is. You brought them into this world, youre responsible for them. Nobody forced you to fuck raw. They didnt ask for none of this. Youre being self absorbed and weak if you dismiss them. Not to be mean but I feel bad and sorry for your children if you only want to deal with them during good times ''mothersday'' but refuse to deal with them when theyre in trouble and truly need you as their mother

And did you really go into labor for hours, nearly dying to birth them just for them to be out here being problematic? 😣 click to expand

click to expand

I do not agree with you.

She gave birth to them because she wanted them in her life. Of course no one told her to fuck raw.

But you honestly think this generation around her daughter's age will listen? They're now over the age of being legal adults. They're no longer minors. This is not her fault to blame.

If its anyone's fault it would be her daughter not realizing that they are nowhere near their own mother anymore.

She never told them to leave the nest and go by themselves. If anything that's their fault if they arent learning their lesson. If the daughter is STILL BEING TROUBLESOME what makes you think she'll be obedient to her own blood-related mother. Simple answer is that she does not care. None fucks given.

Posted by The_Mad_H8R

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by greengemini_
It's a prevelant thought in American culture to kick kids out at 18 because we confuse legal age with adulthood.

Sounds like your parents did the same to you so you continue the cycle. And judging by your pics, tattoos n all, you have a little edge to you too and no doubt have a story to tell.

Just like some of the users said, you never stop being a mother.

Help her deal with whatever resentment and anger she's carrying by just being there...you don't even have to say the right things...your presence and love alone will ease her anger.

Amen to this

18 isn't an adult in the full sense of the word. Parts of the brain aren't formed fully until mid 20s

If I hear one more mother say "18 done and dusted"' I swear I will scream at them ...NO IT IS NOT DONE.....IT IS FOR LIFE"

People 🙄 click to expand

Every 16 year old dreams of being 18 so they can move out on their own. They are incredibly hard headed during early adulthood. click to expand

click to expand

Our son left at 18 but he knows all he has to do is pick up the phone and we will be there for him

That's what I promised him when he was old enough to understand

Posted by Superman77

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by halalbae

Posted by TaurusMom41

Posted by halalbae
So your Libra is causing trouble, but your Aries is ''wounding'' your heart for telling you to be a mother to your problematic Libra daughter? Your anger is directed at the Aries because for some reason you cant confront the Libra


Sometimes if someone makes a comment thats not necessarily complimentary to your character, they make the comment because they know what you NEED to hear. Its important to have people in your life who will tell you when youre slacking
Discernment is knowing what peoples intentions are, once you know that, you can check your unnecessary sensitivity and let people aka your Aries daughter look out for you/your family

My question, how am I slacking?? Whenever I did wrong, at a young age, I was to deal with the consequences. My Mom, or grandparents weren't blamed or told they needed to fix Me. I learned my lessons the hard way, but I learned.
My Aries did wound me, and I'm not overly sensitive to the situation, I'm appropriately sensitive. My entire family lives in the same state as each other, and me and my son are the only ones left here. I have "Been a Mother" to all my children and that's why this whole thing hurts me.
click to expand

You say you HAVE BEEN a mother to them, but you still need to be a mother to them until the day you die. It is what it is. You brought them into this world, youre responsible for them. Nobody forced you to treetrunk raw. They didnt ask for none of this. Youre being self absorbed and weak if you dismiss them. Not to be mean but I feel bad and sorry for your children if you only want to deal with them during good times ''mothersday'' but refuse to deal with them when theyre in trouble and truly need you as their mother

And did you really go into labor for hours, nearly dying to birth them just for them to be out here being problematic? 😣 click to expand

ok calm down there parent police. Do you even have kids?

I don't but I sure do understand that parents are human beings too. They're not some superman/superwoman that kids make them out to be. And just because you decided to have kids and have raised them doesn't mean your infinitely responsible for every single action they take. I know great parents who end up with horrible kids for one reason or another. You're way too extreme in your approach to parenting.

parenting is doing your best with what you have, not that you can be solely responsible for every single action your child takes. That's just unrealistic and in fact damaging to relationships.

I do agree with you that parenting never ends but at the same time parents don't need to ebat themselves up for their children's mistakes. Try to make to make it better? Yes. But to think it all falls on your shoulders? Hell no.

To tell somebody oh just because you decided to fuck raw now it means you're forever responsible for this person is plain ignorant and frankly rude. How are you going to shame this woman into dealing with an issue? That's not a place of empowering. Strong women empower, not shame. So you're the one actually being weak with your post.
click to expand

You don’t have kids but you’re giving out expert parenting advice? Just Lol click to expand

click to expand

You dont need kids to think outside the box.

You could have a kid you're taking care of and know exactly what it feels like. Smfh

Posted by Undine
Your eldest is a disorderly, aggressive drunk, who takes police time from more important duties, and you come here complaining about your youngest....? Because your youngest DARED to point out to your motherly duties?

WTF?! Are you a bloody narcissist who came here to play the victim, and not even realize how unjust your actions are....?

Yes, it IS your f-king responsibility! People like your eldest need someone who is in charge, because they lost it! She should not be allowed to drink, let alone go out for drinks! You need to talk, threaten, slap, coerce, control her and everyone WHO TAKES HER FOR DRINKS. Put your alcohol-crazed eldest daughter in the rehab, before she kills someone, herself included!

Never in my life have I ever been accused of being a narcissist. It's almost laughable how quickly you can jump on to one of my threads to state that. My actions are unjust?? I'm super curious as to how? You don't know me from your neighbor down the road, ma'am! So, you must be one of those "helicopter parents" who are perfect in all they do. You must have some adult children who have never left the nest, because you have to control the aspects of their lives...And by the way...her SISTER took her out for drinks. She drinks once or twice a month... Check yourself.

Don't pick up the phone and let them handle it themselves sometimes they have to learn the hard way i think your libra didn't move out for nothing that young maybe she thought you were too controlling and maybe that's why she is out of control now because she just wants to enjoy life.

I also think that it's easy to blame one sibling while both were in a fight if the libra feels blamed she will probably retaliate even more because she feels misunderstood.

Sometimes when we tell them to not do certain things they do the opposite until you give them a breather because maybe your Aries daughter is trying to create more drama then their actually is and maybe you should look at her since aries is a fire sign and loves drama and attention and libra's want to avoid confrontation you should maybe ask where her anger comes from

Posted by The_Mad_H8R

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by The_Mad_H8R

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by greengemini_
It's a prevelant thought in American culture to kick kids out at 18 because we confuse legal age with adulthood.

Sounds like your parents did the same to you so you continue the cycle. And judging by your pics, tattoos n all, you have a little edge to you too and no doubt have a story to tell.

Just like some of the users said, you never stop being a mother.

Help her deal with whatever resentment and anger she's carrying by just being there...you don't even have to say the right things...your presence and love alone will ease her anger.

Amen to this

18 isn't an adult in the full sense of the word. Parts of the brain aren't formed fully until mid 20s

If I hear one more mother say "18 done and dusted"' I swear I will scream at them ...NO IT IS NOT DONE.....IT IS FOR LIFE"

People 🙄 click to expand

Every 16 year old dreams of being 18 so they can move out on their own. They are incredibly hard headed during early adulthood. click to expand

Our son left at 18 but he knows all he has to do is pick up the phone and we will be there for him

That's what I promised him when he was old enough to understand click to expand

Has he ever taken you up on your offer?

I would do the same as you. My door is always open to family and friends. click to expand

click to expand

He's been left home 8 months and never been in any trouble, but we talk about stuff and see him quite often, he is a five hour drive away. He had a lot of love and encouragement as a kid and teen and seems to be working out stuff himself but knows he has support. I always said to him if I had to rob a bank to get to see him, i would.....he believes me. He will always be first in my life ...

You always come across as a good and genuine guy so I'm not surprised you're supportive of those around you. Lovely to read ❤️. Bless you.

Posted by dewiklaessen26
Don't pick up the phone and let them handle it themselves sometimes they have to learn the hard way i think your libra didn't move out for nothing that young maybe she thought you were too controlling and maybe that's why she is out of control now because she just wants to enjoy life.

I also think that it's easy to blame one sibling while both were in a fight if the libra feels blamed she will probably retaliate even more because she feels misunderstood.
Sometimes when we tell them to not do certain things they do the opposite until you give them a breather because maybe your Aries daughter is trying to create more drama then their actually is and maybe you should look at her since aries is a fire sign and loves drama and attention and libra's want to avoid confrontation you should maybe ask where her anger comes from

Kids and young people act out when they are looking for support, love and attention

I left at age 17 myself so i know what i am talking about a child only leaves if she feels like either she's the black sheep or because she feels like she wants her freedom and when her sister and mother and anybody else are constantly on top of everything she does ofcourse she is gonna get sick and tired of things.

Don't tell me as a taurus that you haven't been controlling with your kids because the taurus mothers that i know need to know everything control everything etc or need to be there for their children constantly

You remind me of my narcissistic Taurus mother.

Yes, I have a Libra sister, who was kissing her ass constantly, as Libra do. I never did. Because of these, every shit that Libra did or didn't do, was blamed on me!

One of the most ridiculous things I can remember, was when Libra sister (18 yrs at that time), left the house without notice. I was in my room reading, when mother came home:

Mum: Where is your sister?

Me: I don't know, she left an hour ago.

Mum: Where did she go?

Me: She didn't say that she was leaving, let alone where she was going!

Mum (shouting): Didn't you ask her...?!

Me: I was in my room when she left the house.

Mum (screaming): Why didn't you run after her...?!

Me: Why would I, is she on house arrest?

Mum (yelling): You are a fucking cretin who doesn't care about anything except herself!

*another hour or so of similar insults, while I put my ear plugs on).

Later on, my Libra sister comes home.

Mum (smiling): Where were you?

Sis : At........(she speaks softly, can't hear the answer)

Mum (smiling): Why didn't you tell your sister you were leaving?

Sis: .....( can't hear the answer)

Mum: Come here, let me hug you!

STOP BLAMING SHIT THAT LIBRA DOES ON THE ARIES!!!!!

Is Libra kissing your ass when she is sober?

Is that why you were unable to discipline her?

Posted by TaurusMom41
I have an Aries daughter, and a Libra daughter and am currently, completely crushed. I got several calls late last night, and found that my 2 daughters (who live 1600 miles away from me) had gone out together drinking, but the night ended in my oldest (Libra) getting drunk and attacking her sister. The cops were called by the neighbors and my oldest was taken to jail. This isn't her first time doing this... The same thing happened with me, a few years back. Except I was sober and trying to stop her from attacking her boyfriend. She swung on me, I dropped her, then she took another swing at me in front of the police. She is the sweetest girl, until you add alcohol. Anyhow, back to my aries.. I got a call from her, after all the drama and she was telling me I needed to do something about her sister, to which I replied "She's 22 and you guys are way the hell in ND, what the hell am I supposed to do about it?" My Aries girl will always, and has always drained me with her busy energy and she is very good at wounding me. Here it is, Mother's day weekend, and not only will I be alone, I'm now to blame for "Not taking responsibility" for my grown ass daughters. I'm absolutely crushed. I don't even want to talk to her, at this point.

Hmmm so if some non-family member had attacked your Aries daughter would you ask her to sort it out herself?

Posted by Undine
You remind me of my narcissistic Taurus mother.

Yes, I have a Libra sister, who was kissing her ass constantly, as Libra do. I never did. Because of these, every shit that Libra did or didn't do, was blamed on me!

One of the most ridiculous things I can remember, was when Libra sister (18 yrs at that time), left the house without notice. I was in my room reading, when mother came home:

Mum: Where is your sister?
Me: I don't know, she left an hour ago.
Mum: Where did she go?
Me: She didn't say that she was leaving, let alone where she was going!
Mum (shouting): Didn't you ask her...?!
Me: I was in my room when she left the house.
Mum (screaming): Why didn't you run after her...?!
Me: Why would I, is she on house arrest?
Mum (yelling): You are a fucking cretin who doesn't care about anything except herself!

*another hour or so of similar insults, while I put my ear plugs on).

Later on, my Libra sister comes home.

Mum (smiling): Where were you?
Sis : At........(she speaks softly, can't hear the answer)
Mum (smiling): Why didn't you tell your sister you were leaving?
Sis: .....( can't hear the answer)
Mum: Come here, let me hug you!

STOP BLAMING SHIT THAT LIBRA DOES ON THE ARIES!!!!!

Sounds like your Mom was a bit of an A*hole. You still don't know me from anything, but this post. Judge not. I love all of my children with all my heart. I feel bad for you that your Mom acted that way with you, but don't pass that anger on to someone you don't even know!!

Posted by Undine
Is Libra kissing your ass when she is sober?

Is that why you were unable to discipline her?

Wait, what??

They both so desperately wish their situation was different and need you in different ways.

Posted by puhleeze

Posted by TaurusMom41
I have an Aries daughter, and a Libra daughter and am currently, completely crushed. I got several calls late last night, and found that my 2 daughters (who live 1600 miles away from me) had gone out together drinking, but the night ended in my oldest (Libra) getting drunk and attacking her sister. The cops were called by the neighbors and my oldest was taken to jail. This isn't her first time doing this... The same thing happened with me, a few years back. Except I was sober and trying to stop her from attacking her boyfriend. She swung on me, I dropped her, then she took another swing at me in front of the police. She is the sweetest girl, until you add alcohol. Anyhow, back to my aries.. I got a call from her, after all the drama and she was telling me I needed to do something about her sister, to which I replied "She's 22 and you guys are way the hell in ND, what the hell am I supposed to do about it?" My Aries girl will always, and has always drained me with her busy energy and she is very good at wounding me. Here it is, Mother's day weekend, and not only will I be alone, I'm now to blame for "Not taking responsibility" for my grown ass daughters. I'm absolutely crushed. I don't even want to talk to her, at this point.

Hmmm so if some non-family member had attacked your Aries daughter would you ask her to sort it out herself? click to expand

click to expand

As GROWN UPS, we take responsibility for our OWN actions. We aren't talking about "What if", we are talking about What Did.. Me and my sister have even had our own fall outs with one another. I didn't turn to anyone or blame anyone.

Posted by euphony
They both so desperately wish their situation was different and need you in different ways.

Okay I can actually respect this comment.

Posted by RooSagicorn
Man this thread is interesting. Yes the daughter needs support, but it is not always that easy people. Kids just like adults do need to find their own way, and some respond well from getting booted, and others not so much. Supporting too much can be a problem too, than they rely on you too much. You must find a balance and every child is different.

Slamming her cuz she’s not running to the rescue? Well who are we to say that’s the best way to handle it. Maybe yes. Maybe no.

To OP - ahhh I know it’s tough. You have every right to feel sad about mother’s day. Your Aries is probably just frustrated and wanting things to get better. I’m sure she isn’t trying to make you feel bad. As mothers, we can’t always fix things. Support and guidance though is needed. Somehow? I guess what is going on with the Libra is the question. Will she go to counseling or is she an alcoholic? It’s tough because at 22 she is an adult & you can’t make her do anything, but you can encourage.

Hugs & ❤️ To you. Oh btw I have a 17 yr old & a 22 yr old and the 22 year old struggles & the 17 year old tells me all the time to fix things.. it’s not that easy. Hang in there!!

Thank you! I kind of had a feeling I would be "villain-ized" by some because I don't do what they do, but I appreciate that someone has an open enough mind to see that not every person's situation is the same.

Posted by greengemini_
It's a prevelant thought in American culture to kick kids out at 18 because we confuse legal age with adulthood.

Sounds like your parents did the same to you so you continue the cycle. And judging by your pics, tattoos n all, you have a little edge to you too and no doubt have a story to tell.

Just like some of the users said, you never stop being a mother.

Help her deal with whatever resentment and anger she's carrying by just being there...you don't even have to say the right things...your presence and love alone will ease her anger.

The thing is, she was so eager to leave all on her own. I never made my children leave. Just like me, at 18 I decided I was ready to move to another state, and I did...for maybe a total of 4 months, then I got in trouble and had to move back. Then I got pregnant and started living life as an adult. I do have an edge, but not because my life was difficult as a child. It all happened as an adult. I respect your input and the way you are wording things without being insulting. I know I'm in this for life, it's what I chose. I just cannot condone a child (adult) mistreating a parent for their own bad judgement. I would never choose for my children to suffer, but I know that is how we learn and experience life. I'm in such a better place, because I was such a screw up as a young adult. I learned. I am currently trying to talk to them each, and I always reassure them with my love.

If this ever happened to me and my Caribbean parents found out... #rip to da homie