No, I am not looking to play games with her. I need to just stop using the previous situation as a reference point for future behavior.
Hitting up an old flame (Page 2)
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Posted by starwarslolNo, I am not trying to mess with her. I just need to find the right approach this time, my previous way of doing it was wrong.
don't think that by messing with her head you'd get her back, if anything I guarantee you she might hate you forever.
Posted by scorpx3 PLEASE think about it AT LEAST a hundred times before you go into it...I agree with your larger points about not returning to toxic situations. I will think over this carefully before I do anything and when I do something my intention is to have a nicer outcome this time. If we show the same type of toxicity, it's fullstop right there.
I met with my ex who I also had a vicious cycle with... Had not spoken for a month, reached out to him, met up and things were fine. Then the other night I was late to meet with him - he lashed out on me and is now claiming he doesn't want to see me. I backed out of that real quick, without the intention of starting over. When something isn't working, you have to let it be, or else it'll destroy you. It's experience, and you've experienced it as well... Lovers like us, we go about thinking maybe this time things will change, maybe this time it can be different, but nope.Same shit, different month. I want none of that nonsense... You being Cancer, an emotional water sign, I can't imagine that you want to dive into toxic waters. It's not what we need, and definitely not what we deserve.
Posted by ImpulsvRight now, we are at a clean slate. I don't have any ill feelings or anger or anything towards her. It's just calm and quiet at the moment.
Yeah so then u have ur approach. Honest n open
Call text when u want n go with the flow.
Clean slate ðŸ‘
Posted by starwarsWell, we can't help it to some extent. No cancer is going to open with, we should try again. It will take us a couple of months to say that, it's simply how it is with us.Posted by incandescentcancerbe straightforward and simple , just tell her you want to give it a try again.Posted by starwarslolNo, I am not trying to mess with her. I just need to find the right approach this time, my previous way of doing it was wrong.
don't think that by messing with her head you'd get her back, if anything I guarantee you she might hate you forever.
don't do your crab sideways dance-walk whatever its called. I hated my cancer ex for it.click to expand
Posted by incandescentcancerControl indeed. That never ending fight for control is what keeps yall together. No matter where you or her are or who you either of you are with or whatever either of you are doing if one is fighting, mad, or trying to move on the other is trying to prove their self.Posted by ListenlearnteachTrine. So she doest put up with your shyt and you respect it after you do it. Makes senseI respect her a lot and she respect me too, I know that. It isn't respect, I think it's about control.click to expand
Again, I agree control. Keeps you interested. Cancer glutton for punishment virgo woman will give it to you no quams about it. Keeps her intrigued as well.
I say go for it. Wait your month to respond, probably will be more like 2 weeks 2 and a half but it's going to keep her enticed. She loves crazy and you love structure.
Posted by Listenlearnteach2 to 2 and a half weeks I meantPosted by incandescentcancerControl indeed. That never ending fight for control is what keeps yall together. No matter where you or her are or who you either of you are with or whatever either of you are doing if one is fighting, mad, or trying to move on the other is trying to prove their self.Posted by ListenlearnteachTrine. So she doest put up with your shyt and you respect it after you do it. Makes senseI respect her a lot and she respect me too, I know that. It isn't respect, I think it's about control.
Again, I agree control. Keeps you interested. Cancer glutton for punishment virgo woman will give it to you no quams about it. Keeps her intrigued as well.
I say go for it. Wait your month to respond, probably will be more like 2 weeks 2 and a half but it's going to keep her enticed. She loves crazy and you love structure.click to expand
Posted by scorpx3 I advise you to make that full-stop now. I wish the best for you, but I'm speaking from not only my experience - yours as well - that it's not going to be different. Even if you change yours ways, who's to say she won't play the same shitty games? I can say I'm a much happier person now. I approached my ex with the best intentions ever - yet he lashed out on me like there was no tomorrow. Sure, maybe you're one of the luckier ones whose old flame actually turns out to be there with you in the end, but the odds are so slim... It's not worth the pain.I am absolutely in no rush to do anything stupid. I know how much pain I went through last time, so I am definitely not aiming for it in the new year.
Half of the people telling you to go for it probably have not experienced a twin flame connection yet, although at the moment I'm speaking from a very limited knowledge of their experiences - I'm assuming. If they have experienced it, they won't vouch for you speeding into this dead end.
Like I said, I wish the best for you, but I don't believe the pain is worth the mediocre ending which is yet to come.
I am going to think over whether I want to do anything at all or not. Your voice is going to be the heaviest when I think about this because you've made very solid arguments against this.
Thank you so much for thinking over this deeply and giving me a clear view point, I appreciate it 🙂
Posted by starwarsso you've admited that's its a part in your nature and not to let her wait and mess with her head lol.Ok, I usually don't test women and all that. I won't be doing any of that but if I go down this path it will be at my own pace.
I understand that, I wasn't talking about how slow you are, virgos literally don't mind if it takes you 304344 years to open up. because we don't open up or build up the courage easily either. - even though being direct will save lots of headaches , assumption, and headaches again.
by sideways I meant the indirect hints and testing thing, just quit it lol.
good luck bud
Posted by incandescentcancerTo this keep the distance. A welcoming place for her when you two are on equal footing but enough space for when you want her to leave and she says no but leaves anyway only to come back surprisingly and you fall in love all over again. And againPosted by GalOnTheCuspYeah, I need to find some balance. Here is the thing, I haven't spoken to her in two years. I messaged her for new years and she responded soon, confirmed her phone number etc.
Dude, better to try and say, "Oh well," than not try and always wonder "What if..."??
I say go with guns blazing.
But please. Don't go hiding on her for weeks at a time. It makes some of us depressed and confused. Five to seven days, tops.
Another country, huh? I love how you love that challenge!
I have lived in 7 countries myself and travelled to like 35, I don't think of time and distance around the world as most other people do. If it works I will do what needs to be done to put us both in the same place.click to expand
And again
Posted by ListenlearnteachControl indeed. That never ending fight for control is what keeps yall together. No matter where you or her are or who you either of you are with or whatever either of you are doing if one is fighting, mad, or trying to move on the other is trying to prove their self.We will see, let me think over this. I don't want this to be a fight for control again, that was a real problem in the past.
Again, I agree control. Keeps you interested. Cancer glutton for punishment virgo woman will give it to you no quams about it. Keeps her intrigued as well.
I say go for it. Wait your month to respond, probably will be more like 2 weeks 2 and a half but it's going to keep her enticed. She loves crazy and you love structure.
Posted by ListenlearnteachTo this keep the distance. A welcoming place for her when you two are on equal footing but enough space for when you want her to leave and she says no but leaves anyway only to come back surprisingly and you fall in love all over again. And againhahaha, sounds almost like a movie. You end up marrying the same woman 4 times.
And again
Posted by incandescentcancerInstead of fighting for control more like taking turnsPosted by ListenlearnteachControl indeed. That never ending fight for control is what keeps yall together. No matter where you or her are or who you either of you are with or whatever either of you are doing if one is fighting, mad, or trying to move on the other is trying to prove their self.We will see, let me think over this. I don't want this to be a fight for control again, that was a real problem in the past.
Again, I agree control. Keeps you interested. Cancer glutton for punishment virgo woman will give it to you no quams about it. Keeps her intrigued as well.
I say go for it. Wait your month to respond, probably will be more like 2 weeks 2 and a half but it's going to keep her enticed. She loves crazy and you love structure.click to expand
Posted by incandescentcancerHahaha again and again to infinityPosted by ListenlearnteachTo this keep the distance. A welcoming place for her when you two are on equal footing but enough space for when you want her to leave and she says no but leaves anyway only to come back surprisingly and you fall in love all over again. And againhahaha, sounds almost like a movie. You end up marrying the same woman 4 times.
And againclick to expand
It sounds like she's your twinflame.
Make it happen, I'm rooting for you.
Make it happen, I'm rooting for you.
incadescentcancer, i would take scorpx3's advice on this. Also, I dont know your natal chart that well, but perhaps her behavior (which seems to be destructive) attracts you because of its intensity and passion. Just keep in mind that you can still have intensity and passion that is completely supportive, uplifting and constructive. Sometimes we cancers go for bad things just because it is familiar when in reality we need to try something new and completely foreign to realize what is good for us.
Also, regarding clean slate, there is no such thing as a clean slate. Sure, there is forgiveness, but you never forget the past and the emotional memory will always be there.
Good luck!
Also, regarding clean slate, there is no such thing as a clean slate. Sure, there is forgiveness, but you never forget the past and the emotional memory will always be there.
Good luck!
Dude if she does want to persue anything with you then nothing will happen anyway.
When the past comes calling, don't answer because it has nothing new to say. Tame that nostalgia. Habits can change but nature doesn't. Plenty of new people to know, why are you dwelling on the past?
I will never understanding going into the past. It's soo pointless and depressing.
I will never understanding going into the past. It's soo pointless and depressing.
The fact that you're thinking of contacting her and then not answering for a month sounds like games or some type of ego thing. Maybe you haven't matured as much as you think. Let that girl live. Don't bother her,at least not now. You don't seem ready.
Posted by MlleFiskIf i had to guess? It's hurt from the Cap experience being repressed and coming out sideways in the form of aggression towards a woman from the past who [probably] "pulled the same shit".
Between "managing" women and wanting something unattainable... it sounds like just a game for your ego's sake. You werent even in an established relationship with her, so i'm slightly baffled what it is really you want to achieve from this.
All of ^that^ will likely be vehemently denied in a most sarcastic way though.
Op, right woman, wrong time?
Posted by mgmtloveI like to bother and be bothered.
The fact that you're thinking of contacting her and then not answering for a month sounds like games or some type of ego thing. Maybe you haven't matured as much as you think. Let that girl live. Don't bother her,at least not now. You don't seem ready.
Posted by mysteriousTaurusYeah that's what I think.
Op, right woman, wrong time?
This time it could be Wrong woman, right time or wrong woman, wrong time or so many possibilities.
Posted by AndalusiaThe assessment is generally accurate but I only knew the Cap for like a month. Not enough to hate all women as I usually do when things don't work out 😛Posted by MlleFiskIf i had to guess? It's hurt from the Cap experience being repressed and coming out sideways in the form of aggression towards a woman from the past who [probably] "pulled the same shit".
Between "managing" women and wanting something unattainable... it sounds like just a game for your ego's sake. You werent even in an established relationship with her, so i'm slightly baffled what it is really you want to achieve from this.
All of ^that^ will likely be vehemently denied in a most sarcastic way though.click to expand
Did I satisfy the sarcasm requirement?
The user who posted this message has hidden it.I already read it, come onnnnnn. Let me respond to that, I can't remember everything you said.
Posted by DonnaElvira77Ok well if you could let me know how you do this .please tell me.For a guy it's easy to forgive, all you need to remind yourself is that she has to sleep with you and she probably feels utterly disgusted that she has made that decision....rofl..
I couldn't forgive someone who hurt me that much. If you love me then you are supposed to love me and so just love me.
I think you need to be totally sure WHY you are doing this.
I would suggest you change you thinking from ....it would be worth it....to has she changed and has the relationship? If you are thinking you would be ok to have the 'old' relationship back....all that means is you fear never being in love again. That is BS first off and not healthy.
It's NOT worth it.
So has the relationship changed? Has she? etc ....
If so I guess take it slow. Go on a date or something. Make it a first date...do all of that again..do it over.
*goes back to plotting the deaths of many exes*
Yeah tell me how you do the clean slate thing please... :-/
I want to go back and fine her because we feel like unfinished business.
Posted by auroraI don't know, I think both of us have tried to move on.
Why not?
It's just after 3 years i would assume that the other one probably moved on, no matter how big chemistry was. So i would never do it. Show up to maybe mess with their present.
Posted by incandescentcancerIt hit too close to home so I was too bitter it wasn't good adviceThe user who posted this message has hidden it.I already read it, come onnnnnn. Let me respond to that, I can't remember everything you said.
click to expand
just know mind games hurt people and its not the right thing to do to someone
I was curious about how this topic will unfold.
The first few pages were obviously sarcasm. If those placements are real, Aries Moon + Water Venus is not an easy configuration. Mine is in Cancer so it adds to a square.
Sounds like a Jeux D'Enfants kind of scenario.
I was watching this video about how connections in life matter more than love. On that front, I get it.
Anyway, best of luck.
The first few pages were obviously sarcasm. If those placements are real, Aries Moon + Water Venus is not an easy configuration. Mine is in Cancer so it adds to a square.
Sounds like a Jeux D'Enfants kind of scenario.
I was watching this video about how connections in life matter more than love. On that front, I get it.
Anyway, best of luck.
Posted by scorpx3Easy there with the projection.
but I'm speaking from not only my experience - yours as well -
Posted by thinktoomuchUhm, the intense delusion we harbor? At least yours is inconjunct, mine is square.Posted by DamnataWhat, what´s wrong with water venus and aries moon? I too have scorpio venus and aries moon, what seems to be the problem here mam?
I was curious about how this topic will unfold.
The first few pages were obviously sarcasm. If those placements are real, Aries Moon + Water Venus is not an easy configuration. Mine is in Cancer so it adds to a square.
Sounds like a Jeux D'Enfants kind of scenario.
I was watching this video about how connections in life matter more than love. On that front, I get it.
Anyway, best of luck.click to expand
Posted by incandescentcancerAnd you want to go back and try it again?! You Cancer men are absolutely mental!!Posted by ImpulsvShe would get cold with me and withdraw, I would get drunk and mad. The more mad I get the more she provoked me. It was a vicious cycle, we both did a lot of damage to eachother's self respect.
What was the issue or the constant fighting aboutclick to expand
Seriously I don't see why you would want to venture back into this unless you have serious mental issues! Sorry it's just crackers!!
I think it's time to text her!
Posted by Diva1It could be fun, sometimes life takes unexpected turns. Who knows?!Posted by incandescentcancerAnd you want to go back and try it again?! You Cancer men are absolutely mental!!Posted by ImpulsvShe would get cold with me and withdraw, I would get drunk and mad. The more mad I get the more she provoked me. It was a vicious cycle, we both did a lot of damage to eachother's self respect.
What was the issue or the constant fighting about
Seriously I don't see why you would want to venture back into this unless you have serious mental issues! Sorry it's just crackers!!
click to expand
Posted by KoniuchaWhat do you think?
The not contacting for a month was a joke, right?
Posted by KoniuchaWrong!Posted by incandescentcancerI suppose I think it's a jokePosted by KoniuchaWhat do you think?
The not contacting for a month was a joke, right?click to expand
Posted by DonnaElvira77It usually works 😛
Facepalm.
Men do have this little black book they think they can go through months or even years later don't they?
She is going to think you are crazy.
Posted by incandescentcancerSooo you gonna text her already?
I think it's time to text her!
Nah, I am not going to do it. Not worth it....lol.
This right here ^^^ smh
Mercury retrograde
Posted by MahoganyLeoPossible, that makes sense.
Mercury retrograde
Posted by YourFavoriteDXPMemberIs that what your mom said to you when you were 5 or was that your wife 😉
come on boy, who was it?
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