@justagirl
12 Years25,000+ Posts
What's the best way to approach this convo? (Page 2)
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Well damn. Reading all responses has sent me back to square one confusion.
Ooohhh and the emotional fuck-witage has begun..
Guess who texted me today, only to casually mention how "unfeminine" undate able he considers me during mid conversation.
Lol. Where is that pic from?
Posted by PrincessLouise
Posted by Andalusia
Ooohhh and the emotional fuck-witage has begun..Guess who texted me today, only to casually mention how "unfeminine" undate able he considers me during mid conversation.
Stay away from this guy. He is not your friend nor anything else. There is something wrong with him.
click to expand
I agree.. he's acting like how I imagine a teenage girl would act..
He dropped a "She's All That" reference on me..
He said he thought dating me would be like the plot line to "She's All That"... that I'd transform for him. What in the literal fuck.
My mind is seriously blown right now.
Posted by thinktoomuch
Wtf——— Nice move on him for trying to make you feel bad about yourself for not being (or turning into) what he wanted. What a shitface!
I'm more concerned that a 30 year old man's idea of a relationship is based off a high school rom-com with a choreographed Prom dance sequence.
Posted by sadpopcorn
Posted by Andalusia
He dropped a "She's All That" reference on me..He said he thought dating me would be like the plot line to "She's All That"... that I'd transform for him. What in the literal fuck.
My mind is seriously blown right now.
😆
im more of a forrest gump typeam not a smart mann but i know what wub iz...
click to expand
So I'm not the only one who thinks it's ridiculous.
Posted by sadpopcorn
Posted by Andalusia
Posted by sadpopcorn
Posted by Andalusia
He dropped a "She's All That" reference on me..He said he thought dating me would be like the plot line to "She's All That"... that I'd transform for him. What in the literal fuck.
My mind is seriously blown right now.
😆
im more of a forrest gump typeam not a smart mann but i know what wub iz...
So I'm not the only one who thinks it's ridiculous.
i always thought people with crushes on rachel leigh cook and natalie portman were lame. well anyone in high school you knew with a major celebrity crush was kinda lame. hey ands wanna see my laetitia casta poster collection? no dude they're probably glued together and as tough as a piece of cardboard by now.
i am assuming that is why he liked shes all that. pretty uneventful rom com from what i remember. freddie prinze is so old now fuuuuck i need to check in the mirror if i look that old!
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He also had a copy of The Notebook. Both book and movie. I should have known.
You had them, or you still have them, Ands?
Posted by tiziani
He sounds like a manlet scorned now.
HE scorned ME though! That's what doesn't make any damn sense! Unless he's doing it to try and get a reaction, which still doesn't make any damn sense to me.
Posted by Andalusia
Posted by tiziani
He sounds like a manlet scorned now.
HE scorned ME though! That's what doesn't make any damn sense! Unless he's doing it to try and get a reaction, which still doesn't make any damn sense to me.
click to expand
"Atlas Shrugged, Manlet Scorned"
Posted by tiziani
Posted by Andalusia
Posted by tiziani
He sounds like a manlet scorned now.
HE scorned ME though! That's what doesn't make any damn sense! Unless he's doing it to try and get a reaction, which still doesn't make any damn sense to me.
I don't know. When it stops making this much sense, i'm not sure it's worth thinking about. You just get lost in their confusion.
click to expand
My Virgo bits are internally biting a well manicured nail at this cluster.
Posted by tiziani
I would have thought you were joking about being mildly autistic. Don't mind me, I'm just from London, where everything is alcohol-dulled sarcasm.
I'm a Southern Merican wondering if this poor girl's cheese slid off her cracker.
Posted by kissmygrits
Posted by tiziani
I would have thought you were joking about being mildly autistic. Don't mind me, I'm just from London, where everything is alcohol-dulled sarcasm.
I'm a Southern Merican wondering if this poor girl's cheese slid off her cracker.
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Me? My cheese and cracker?
Posted by Finbuff
He still has an attraction for you and it bothers him that you haven't chased him to get him back. Reaching out to keep it alive cause can't let go. Giving you all the Cancer secrets for free.
Calling me unattractive is how he shows he's attracted to me?
Posted by Andalusia
Posted by kissmygrits
Posted by tiziani
I would have thought you were joking about being mildly autistic. Don't mind me, I'm just from London, where everything is alcohol-dulled sarcasm.
I'm a Southern Merican wondering if this poor girl's cheese slid off her cracker.
Me? My cheese and cracker?
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It probably has.
Hugs. I think you should ask questions. My ex was very literal and I think I scared him with my weird humor. 😄
Posted by kissmygrits
Hugs. I think you should ask questions. My ex was very literal and I think I scared him with my weird humor. 😄
I like weird humor 🙂
What questions do you mean?
Posted by Finbuff
Posted by Andalusia
Posted by Finbuff
He still has an attraction for you and it bothers him that you haven't chased him to get him back. Reaching out to keep it alive cause can't let go. Giving you all the Cancer secrets for free.
Calling me unattractive is how he shows he's attracted to me?
Listen - you had a pic in your avatar a few months back - if that was you, he's blind, and saying stupid things out of spite and anger. That pic was quite attractive to ANY cancer. He's immature.
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The one of me in the red dress with a bit of face paint?
Just making sure you're not confusing me with someone else, lol 😄
Lol, I agree with @tiziani. Smooth move 🙂
this is still going on and he called you unattractive ?
Posted by FutureSeeker
My Cancer man says when a relationship is done, he never remains friends. Says it's the end. "Why would we still maintain contact- we have nothing in common, if we did- we wouldn't have ended it." This is different from me as an Aqua cause I have lots of guys who I stay friends with.So- why be friends with this guy @OP? He doesn't sound like a good friend. My friends wouldn't say put downs about how I look, etc. my friends support me, and want to see me happy and successful... I would think (hope) it is similar for you, and your actual friends. If a "friend" is rude or mean, I may think about moving them to a far outer circle in my life.
I didn't think we were friends. We email back and forth a bit at work, but that's it. Until he texted me randomly yesterday with a link to an article. We talked about about that, and then he started in with the BS.
Posted by thinktoomuch
People need to remember though: they were never in a relationship. At all. So it´s not like he is friends with an ex. In any way.
Yeah, I didn't understand/don't understand the whole friendship thing either. I thought he was just blowing smoke up my ass to 'soften the blow'
Posted by thinktoomuch
Posted by HouseCleaning
this is still going on and he called you unattractive ?
And people are coming in here and telling her, that he likes her and this is his way of showing her.
And somehow that makes it all okay.—— I really don´t get people these days.
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what? finbuff? i don't know if he qualifies as a person
Posted by Finbuff
I love that show, Southern Charm!! I'd fit in sooo much with those people. Cool and fun
What show?
I think he's just bored.
Posted by Andalusia
Posted by kissmygrits
Hugs. I think you should ask questions. My ex was very literal and I think I scared him with my weird humor. 😄
I like weird humor 🙂
What questions do you mean?
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Well ask what he meant. Crack that code.
Posted by Finbuff
I love that show, Southern Charm!! I'd fit in sooo much with those people. Cool and fun
How cliché is it? Would I yell Carpetbagger at the tv the entire time? NCIS New Orleans has "gumbo parties" 😆
He keeps initiating conversation with me. And he has now mentioned twice, unprovoked, another girl that we work with that sits next to him. Today it was about how she brought him farm fresh eggs and what he should make with them first..
Is he trying to make me jealous or is it not that intentional?
Posted by Finbuff
Trying to make himself seem more desirable (to you) by mentioning the other girl. Intentional - because Cancer male doesn't normall do the friends thing with women.
She is super attractive and intelligent and fun though. And, mostly importantly, she's his type. He could just be talking to me as a friend, because he doesn't see me as a woman, he sees me as a "dude" "buddy".
Posted by Arieslovesaqua
Lol this is why I just can't with these guys. No one seems to believe me but yes it is typical behavior to get you to make a move.So transparent. "What should I make with these eggs that this woman brought me?" 🙄 lol.
Cancer Suns have told me in the past "There's other women after me so if you want me you better make s move now." ....there was no damn other women. There was no one.
This is the perfect time for you to ask questions. Ask as many questions as you want. This is the time they're most likely to answer...before they have any deep feelings. Once they have feelings any direct type of questions feels like probing to them and they get nervous of how you'll react to the answer so they'll be extremely vague or ignore it.
What questions though?
Posted by Arieslovesaqua
Posted by Andalusia
Posted by Arieslovesaqua
Lol this is why I just can't with these guys. No one seems to believe me but yes it is typical behavior to get you to make a move.So transparent. "What should I make with these eggs that this woman brought me?" 🙄 lol.
Cancer Suns have told me in the past "There's other women after me so if you want me you better make s move now." ....there was no damn other women. There was no one.
This is the perfect time for you to ask questions. Ask as many questions as you want. This is the time they're most likely to answer...before they have any deep feelings. Once they have feelings any direct type of questions feels like probing to them and they get nervous of how you'll react to the answer so they'll be extremely vague or ignore it.
What questions though?
Anything you want. You think he thinks of you as a buddy...treat him like a buddy.
The woman who brought him eggs "Oh Carol? She's attractive and nice. Do you have a crush on Carol?"
I bet he'll say he doesn't have a crush on her but he thinks she has a crush on him.
He wants you to ask him questions anyway...that's why hes throwing bait at you. But you're not biting lol
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He might have a crush on her though. But it would be weird if he was still emailing and texting me if that was the case.
I just asked and he admitted to not really having female friends. Said he's never really even been friends with his partners, even the long term ones.
Posted by Finbuff
Posted by Andalusia
I just asked and he admitted to not really having female friends. Said he's never really even been friends with his partners, even the long term ones.
BOOM
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Which just kind of reinforces the fact that he sees me as a friend, not a partner.
Posted by Arieslovesaqua
Posted by Andalusia
Posted by Finbuff
Posted by Andalusia
I just asked and he admitted to not really having female friends. Said he's never really even been friends with his partners, even the long term ones.
BOOM
Which just kind of reinforces the fact that he sees me as a friend, not a partner.
He just told you he's never been friends with anyone but he's choosing you as a "buddy" and you see no significance in that?
click to expand
I do, but I'm skeptical. My Cancer bits see (what I think) he's doing, but the rest of me is downplaying it and doesn't want to get my hopes up
And he just invited me over.. said he had to run an errand after work but he'd be home straight after if I wanted to come over.
Posted by Andalusia
And he just invited me over.. said he had to run an errand after work but he'd be home straight after if I wanted to come over.
he wants you to come over and play with his wii
Posted by Arieslovesaqua
Oh wow. Yeah, he likes you but even if you get past this awkwardness do you think you will be able to deal with his insulting way of telling you what he wants from you?I've had a cancer tell me "I can't teach you how to be a woman and treat your man how a woman should." ...he wanted me to like run into his arms when he arrived at my door and shower him with adoration and affection even though I was very unsure of his feelings towards me. I would greet him with a hug and a smile but I wasn't over the top because he was very reserved and stoic and I wasn't sure how it would be received if I was so dramatic towards him.
I have no problem being a woman and treating a man the right way. The problem was that I didn't let my guard down and do it fast enough for him. They almost don't give you time to open up...they just expect you to treat them like the greatest love of your life right away. Though they won't let their guard down right away.
They want to remain seemingly unphased by you outwardly (because they're secretly losing their mind inside) while you trip all over them.
I'm sorry cancers lol but this is why I hate your passive mind games. They will say things like "I don't think we would make a good couple." Not because they actually think that...but because they want to hear you say otherwise. -_- it reminds me of pick up artist strategies. They will subtly (or not so subtly lol) neg you so you will sell yourself to them and tell them how great of a match you will be for them.
He likes you and he's doing weird cancer shit
Yup..
But jesus christ ..he's being a dipshit sorry @Melly 😢
Posted by Andalusia
And he just invited me over.. said he had to run an errand after work but he'd be home straight after if I wanted to come over.
Are you going—?
Posted by tiziani
Posted by Arieslovesaqua
Posted by thinktoomuch
😄 Wow wow horsy, chill! Go take a sugarcube!This is not your relationship either, but okay. The doublestandards are strong in you.
I am not blaiming everything on him, he was never my cancer, and I didn´t mess it up. Now are there more things you want to be wrong about ?! 😄
I just think it´s stupid to keep people living in fairytale land. Real recognizes real I guess....
They're literally just emailing each other lol. And you other ladies come in here like "he's a dirty dog! He's gonna break your heart!" Just chill out. She obviously has an interest in him so I'm encouraging her to figure it out.
People project on here.
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Fixed....😛
Posted by tiziani
Posted by justagirl
Posted by Andalusia
And he just invited me over.. said he had to run an errand after work but he'd be home straight after if I wanted to come over.
Are you going—?
😱
click to expand
Well i had to ask.
Yes i'm nosy.
😆
Posted by justagirl
Posted by Andalusia
And he just invited me over.. said he had to run an errand after work but he'd be home straight after if I wanted to come over.
Are you going—?
click to expand
I did. Just got back. We played board games and made grilled cheese sandwiches and drank gin. He helped me carry my stuff (board games) out and then I left.
Thought it was friendly, but then he texted when I got home, "I wasn't trying to be rude or push you out. The more I [drink] the hornier I get, so I figured I'd go to bed soon".
Posted by Andalusia
Posted by justagirl
Posted by Andalusia
And he just invited me over.. said he had to run an errand after work but he'd be home straight after if I wanted to come over.
Are you going—?
I did. Just got back. We played board games and made grilled cheese sandwiches and drank gin. He helped me carry my stuff (board games) out and then I left.
Thought it was friendly, but then he texted when I got home, "I wasn't trying to be rude or push you out. The more I [drink] the hornier I get, so I figured I'd go to bed soon".
click to expand
Fuck, the dude is confussing as fuck.
I dont get why he feels the need to share such things. he says he wants to be your buddy but to me that doenst seem very "buddy" type talk.. but mabye i just dont understand men speak.
I take what he said to mean if you had stayed you would of eneded up having sex. i dunno girl.
what do you want out of this? If all he wants is to be friends, are you okay with that?
Posted by justagirl
Posted by Andalusia
Posted by justagirl
Posted by Andalusia
And he just invited me over.. said he had to run an errand after work but he'd be home straight after if I wanted to come over.
Are you going—?
I did. Just got back. We played board games and made grilled cheese sandwiches and drank gin. He helped me carry my stuff (board games) out and then I left.
Thought it was friendly, but then he texted when I got home, "I wasn't trying to be rude or push you out. The more I [drink] the hornier I get, so I figured I'd go to bed soon".
Fuck, the dude is confussing as fuck.
I dont get why he feels the need to share such things. he says he wants to be your buddy but to me that doenst seem very "buddy" type talk.. but mabye i just dont understand men speak.
I take what he said to mean if you had stayed you would of eneded up having sex. i dunno girl.
what do you want out of this? If all he wants is to be friends, are you okay with that?
click to expand
In theory, yes. But if he starts dating someone else, I will make him bleed. So in actuality- no.
Posted by thinktoomuch
What did you reply to his "I get so horny" text?
"No worries. Thank you for a thoroughly enjoyable evening."
Posted by thinktoomuch
He´s doing the ground work for FWB it seems. Interesting technique! 😄
Yes, this. What a turd insinuating that he was horny and he suggested that if you would have stayed you two would have made out, he just assumed this probly cause he knows you like him. Whats worse is you went home alone by yourself late. He hasn't been courting you or taking you to dinner or anything to suggest he is interested in having you as a girlfriend. Cancer men Ive known have been very chivalrous, I don't think he sounds like the right kind of manchild to get involved with.
Posted by Andalusia
Posted by thinktoomuch
What did you reply to his "I get so horny" text?
"No worries. Thank you for a thoroughly enjoyable evening."
click to expand
Great response.
Posted by Andalusia
Posted by justagirl
Posted by Andalusia
Posted by justagirl
Posted by Andalusia
And he just invited me over.. said he had to run an errand after work but he'd be home straight after if I wanted to come over.
Are you going—?
I did. Just got back. We played board games and made grilled cheese sandwiches and drank gin. He helped me carry my stuff (board games) out and then I left.
Thought it was friendly, but then he texted when I got home, "I wasn't trying to be rude or push you out. The more I [drink] the hornier I get, so I figured I'd go to bed soon".
Fuck, the dude is confussing as fuck.
I dont get why he feels the need to share such things. he says he wants to be your buddy but to me that doenst seem very "buddy" type talk.. but mabye i just dont understand men speak.
I take what he said to mean if you had stayed you would of eneded up having sex. i dunno girl.
what do you want out of this? If all he wants is to be friends, are you okay with that?
In theory, yes. But if he starts dating someone else, I will make him bleed. So in actuality- no.
click to expand
hugs 🤗
i've been there, it sucks.
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*big hugs*
Some crabs will ponder out loud with their thoughts.. it's their musings, ramblings. Sometimes they are seeking a response, sometimes they are testing the waters, sometimes they are just pondering. They are deep feelers and thinkers about those feels.
See my previous post about the crab i know that has said the same thing..
shit think of all of CC's threads she has made.. all her thoughts, ponderings.. etc.
I love virgos, i really do, but sometimes y'all take stuff too literal. Said with love of course.
I get what @tiziani was getting at.. he was sayng ( i think) crab was trying to ease the tension/break the wall down with a witty comment to try to paint himself in an oddball light. I mean perhaps he was, we are not him so we can;t really say.