@Andalusia
12 Years5,000+ Posts
What's the best way to approach this convo? (Page 3)
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Well his comment was thoroughly disrespectful on a number of levels, he wasn't thinking how it could affect you or worse, he doesn't care.
Posted by thinktoomuch
What did you reply to his "I get so horny" text?"No worries. Thank you for a thoroughly enjoyable evening."
Great response.
Yeah. I think I hurt his feelings though.
You really need to set boundaries woman.
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I can still feel empathy for other people whilst maintaining my boundaries.
To all those that told me to stay away - you were right. I should have listened.
Just told me he just downloaded tinder and is cruising for chick's as we were texting.
Gah, this hurts way more than I thought it would. 😢
Posted by Andalusia
To all those that told me to stay away - you were right. I should have listened.Just told me he just downloaded tinder and is cruising for chick's as we were texting.
I see parts of my story in do many other stories on this board. I don't want to take astrology too serious....
He has you in his palm of his hand and it's actually mean. There are two ways. Either he wants to make you really jealous and see whether you are serious about him by stepping up and dhow him that you don't like it of he is really confident now knowing you like him and throws himself out there, thinking he must be very desirable now you've told him your feelings. I got it thrown in my face as well sometimes I acted jealous sometimes not, because I was told Im a special friend, but For some time I was flirted wit after this was said and was even kissed a few times. I withdrew myself when I saw that it didn't mean anything.
Don't be fooled with the sweet exterior and the right words on the right time or still taking the initiative to talk to you. It has nothing to do with you, he knows you like him and he doesn'twant you to hate him. He might see you as a wing man now. Dont fall into it. Just tell him straightforward you cant be his friend. That he is lovely and all, but that you have tons of other friends you already lack time for. Or just say: are you trying to make me jealous it doesn't work😉 Don't think you need to shy away now. Show him how strong you are. But I will warn you, it's hard, but better cut it all now then 2 years later! It will not change.....
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No, I really think he thought I wouldn't be phased by the tinder knowledge.
I told him "I like you. This hurts more than expected. Probably best if we stop communicating."
To which he replied "I thought there wasn't a question as to the possibility of a relationship and that we were cool. But I understand the need for silence."
Seriously. Why the fuck would he even mention tinder?? There's no way he could have thought I wouldn't be anything other than hurt by that! He was talking about having kids and shit the other day!
Good for you for putting yourself FIRST and going silent. I know it hurts like all hell but you are walking away with your dignity and self-esteem in tact.
hold on let me see if i was one of those people who told you to stay away
yup i was
Posted by Andalusia
Seriously. Why the fuck would he even mention tinder?? There's no way he could have thought I wouldn't be anything other than hurt by that! He was talking about having kids and shit the other day!Step away gracefully.
Cancer moon cannot be friends or in a casual relationship when we have a strong romantic connection with someone. Even with your Virgo sun, you know this. We just desire to bond and care for them too much.
If he was just another passing dude you'd be fine. But you like this one. Don't give to him when he can't give anything in return.
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Yeah:/
I just don't understand the (seemingly) mixed signals. Or maybe they weren't mixed. Duurrgh. I need a vacation.
do you like toying with me?
hes trying to turn you into a friend but he doesn't know how. hes more confused about this than you are
go to this page
mail him a bag of shit
Posted by HouseCleaning
do you like toying with me?hes trying to turn you into a friend but he doesn't know how. hes more confused about this than you are
go to this page
mail him a bag of shit
I'm not toying with you!
He "doesn't have female friends".
I'm not paying for shit 😛
Posted by HouseCleaning
do you like toying with me?hes trying to turn you into a friend but he doesn't know how. hes more confused about this than you are
go to this page
mail him a bag of shit
I'm not toying with you!
He "doesn't have female friends".
I'm not paying for shit 😛
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do something so you won't suffer so much with this asshole
he needs the bag of shit because hes a shithead
Posted by Andalusia
Seriously. Why the treetrunk would he even mention tinder?? There's no way he could have thought I wouldn't be anything other than hurt by that! He was talking about having kids and butter the other day!Step away gracefully.
Cancer moon cannot be friends or in a casual relationship when we have a strong romantic connection with someone. Even with your Virgo sun, you know this. We just desire to bond and care for them too much.
If he was just another passing dude you'd be fine. But you like this one. Don't give to him when he can't give anything in return.
Yeah:/
I just don't understand the (seemingly) mixed signals. Or maybe they weren't mixed. Duurrgh. I need a vacation.
click to expand
They where mixed. As a fellow virgo I want to add that not everyone is real with us. We are very genuine people and naturally assume (without 2nd thought) other people are too. Such is not the case. Some people enjoy playing games and leading others on. I feel your shock. Even though you have the facts, reality hasn't yet set in and you still think he's a good person being "himself." Once you have distance from this situation is will become clearer, he treated you poorly and hopefully you will gain the wisdom not to allow this to happen again, and if it does, to walk away asap. People aren't as kind as we would like to believe them to be sometimes. it sucks.
Posted by cheekyfaerie
Whatta dickhole.
I put up with it though.
Posted by Andalusia
Seriously. Why the treetrunk would he even mention tinder?? There's no way he could have thought I wouldn't be anything other than hurt by that! He was talking about having kids and butter the other day!Step away gracefully.
Cancer moon cannot be friends or in a casual relationship when we have a strong romantic connection with someone. Even with your Virgo sun, you know this. We just desire to bond and care for them too much.
If he was just another passing dude you'd be fine. But you like this one. Don't give to him when he can't give anything in return.
Yeah:/
I just don't understand the (seemingly) mixed signals. Or maybe they weren't mixed. Duurrgh. I need a vacation.
They where mixed. As a fellow virgo I want to add that not everyone is real with us. We are very genuine people and naturally assume (without 2nd thought) other people are too. Such is not the case. Some people enjoy playing games and leading others on. I feel your shock. Even though you have the facts, reality hasn't yet set in and you still think he's a good person being "himself." Once you have distance from this situation is will become clearer, he treated you poorly and hopefully you will gain the wisdom not to allow this to happen again, and if it does, to walk away asap. People aren't as kind as we would like to believe them to be sometimes. it sucks.
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Hopefully, yes, I will learn.
Posted by Andalusia
Seriously. Why the treetrunk would he even mention tinder?? There's no way he could have thought I wouldn't be anything other than hurt by that! He was talking about having kids and butter the other day!Step away gracefully.
Cancer moon cannot be friends or in a casual relationship when we have a strong romantic connection with someone. Even with your Virgo sun, you know this. We just desire to bond and care for them too much.
If he was just another passing dude you'd be fine. But you like this one. Don't give to him when he can't give anything in return.
Yeah:/
I just don't understand the (seemingly) mixed signals. Or maybe they weren't mixed. Duurrgh. I need a vacation.
They where mixed. As a fellow virgo I want to add that not everyone is real with us. We are very genuine people and naturally assume (without 2nd thought) other people are too. Such is not the case. Some people enjoy playing games and leading others on. I feel your shock. Even though you have the facts, reality hasn't yet set in and you still think he's a good person being "himself." Once you have distance from this situation is will become clearer, he treated you poorly and hopefully you will gain the wisdom not to allow this to happen again, and if it does, to walk away asap. People aren't as kind as we would like to believe them to be sometimes. it sucks.
click to expand
and because virgos don't demand much i think people take them for granted. we like being there, being reliable, but maybe that is not what guys seek?
Posted by Andalusia
Seriously. Why the treetrunk would he even mention tinder?? There's no way he could have thought I wouldn't be anything other than hurt by that! He was talking about having kids and butter the other day!Step away gracefully.
Cancer moon cannot be friends or in a casual relationship when we have a strong romantic connection with someone. Even with your Virgo sun, you know this. We just desire to bond and care for them too much.
If he was just another passing dude you'd be fine. But you like this one. Don't give to him when he can't give anything in return.
Yeah:/
I just don't understand the (seemingly) mixed signals. Or maybe they weren't mixed. Duurrgh. I need a vacation.
They where mixed. As a fellow virgo I want to add that not everyone is real with us. We are very genuine people and naturally assume (without 2nd thought) other people are too. Such is not the case. Some people enjoy playing games and leading others on. I feel your shock. Even though you have the facts, reality hasn't yet set in and you still think he's a good person being "himself." Once you have distance from this situation is will become clearer, he treated you poorly and hopefully you will gain the wisdom not to allow this to happen again, and if it does, to walk away asap. People aren't as kind as we would like to believe them to be sometimes. it sucks.
and because virgos don't demand much i think people take them for granted. we like being there, being reliable, but maybe that is not what guys seek?
click to expand
Virgos demand a lot. They just don't always verbalize it.
Demand is perhaps not the right word.. expect is maybe more accurate.
Posted by Andalusia
Seriously. Why the treetrunk would he even mention tinder?? There's no way he could have thought I wouldn't be anything other than hurt by that! He was talking about having kids and butter the other day!Step away gracefully.
Cancer moon cannot be friends or in a casual relationship when we have a strong romantic connection with someone. Even with your Virgo sun, you know this. We just desire to bond and care for them too much.
If he was just another passing dude you'd be fine. But you like this one. Don't give to him when he can't give anything in return.
Yeah:/
I just don't understand the (seemingly) mixed signals. Or maybe they weren't mixed. Duurrgh. I need a vacation.
They where mixed. As a fellow virgo I want to add that not everyone is real with us. We are very genuine people and naturally assume (without 2nd thought) other people are too. Such is not the case. Some people enjoy playing games and leading others on. I feel your shock. Even though you have the facts, reality hasn't yet set in and you still think he's a good person being "himself." Once you have distance from this situation is will become clearer, he treated you poorly and hopefully you will gain the wisdom not to allow this to happen again, and if it does, to walk away asap. People aren't as kind as we would like to believe them to be sometimes. it sucks.
and because virgos don't demand much i think people take them for granted. we like being there, being reliable, but maybe that is not what guys seek?
click to expand
Usually they do after they are involved with you and only sometimes. If you are too around, too nice, too reliable before involvement, you are a friendzone guarantee.
We rotate weekends at work. Memorial Day was my weekend to work and he picked up so he's working too. And he's emailed me about non work related things.
Why. Why? Why?! 😢
I've told him we should stop communicating though unless strictly necessary. He agreed.
Posted by Andalusia
We rotate weekends at work. Memorial Day was my weekend to work and he picked up so he's working too. And he's emailed me about non work related things.Why. Why? Why?! 😢
Because he knows you care more. And my guess is if you had the whole picture, he probably does these things when whoever he's really interested in isn't responding to him as often or enthusiastically as he would like. So he feels insecure and undesirable and knows you were kind and interested, so he goes looking for affirmation from you.
Stop offering affirmation and he'll vanish.
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He never goes more than a day or two without reaching out.
Posted by Andalusia
I've told him we should stop communicating though unless strictly necessary. He agreed.Well then you gotta just keep telling him. Set the boundaries.
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I'm just gonna quit and get a new job. I don't like working group there anyways.
He keeps reaching out after I told him we should stop communicating- and he agreed. Most recently was a "Are you doing okay? You seem pretty stressed out lately" text.
I don't want to completely ignore him because I feel that's pretty dehumanizing. But I also don't want to keep responding and continuing this bullshit cycle.
Posted by Andalusia
He keeps reaching out after I told him we should stop communicating- and he agreed. Most recently was a "Are you doing okay? You seem pretty stressed out lately" text.I don't want to completely ignore him because I feel that's pretty dehumanizing. But I also don't want to keep responding and continuing this bullshit cycle.
about time you're doing something
but it was something you should have done sooner without waiting to reach the threshold of your tolerance limit
So Cancer has been using my ideas and recommendations for things to do around the city -- to take his "ex" wife out on a date.. or dates. Idk which. How do I know, you ask?
Because he told me. No idea why he would do that, other than to be an asshole.
I need talked down off the proverbial ledge, because I really want to stab him in the fucking face.
i told you to pour water into his gas tank
you.
i knew it.
the cancer guy did play a role in quitting your job.
Posted by Andalusia
I turned in my notice at my day job yesterday. Gave it for a month out since I don't have anything else lined up.The bullshit, misogynistic politics, and the douche bag Cancer finally got to be too much.
I'm not sorry that I did it. But again, I hate how much I can let others affect me. 😢
Posted by HouseCleaning
i told you to pour water into his gas tank
I would consider it if I could do it without getting caught.
Posted by tiziani
Become bffs with his ex wife and then both of you cut him out the picture.
They're still married. The divorce isn't final yet and she doesn't want it to be - news to me because I asked him point blank if it was completely over when we were dating and he said yes.
Posted by Andalusia
So Cancer has been using my ideas and recommendations for things to do around the city -- to take his "ex" wife out on a date.. or dates. Idk which. How do I know, you ask?Because he told me. No idea why he would do that, other than to be an asshole.
I need talked down off the proverbial ledge, because I really want to stab him in the fucking face.
He's either clueless or he's holding some personal grudge against you and wants to "rub your face in it". I'd either ignore him, or go psycho on him to scare him away. What he's doing is ridiculous.
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I really want to tell him off. But i dont wanna deal with all that. So I'm going for the hope I never see him again route.
Posted by HouseCleaning
i told you to pour water into his gas tankI would consider it if I could do it without getting caught.
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excuses
😆
Posted by HouseCleaning
i told you to pour water into his gas tankI would consider it if I could do it without getting caught.
excuses
click to expand
If you have any suggestions, I'm all ears.
He just emailed me and said "ice cold". I guess meaning my attitude towards him, since I haven't spoken to him for non work related matters in awhile.
Posted by HouseCleaning
i told you to pour water into his gas tankI would consider it if I could do it without getting caught.
excuses
If you have any suggestions, I'm all ears.
He just emailed me and said "ice cold". I guess meaning my attitude towards him, since I haven't spoken to him for non work related matters in awhile.
This guy is not your typical cancer. Normally they don't keep women around as "friends", but apparently that's what he wants, OR, he has other motives. I would think the latter. (from my perspective)
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Idk what other motives he could have, but I find it hard to wrap my head around the fact he is *this* oblivious to what he's doing.
Posted by Ellycakes
He isn't that oblivious. He's whoring for attention and validation.'Oh my ex wife wants me. But so does this girl at work. I'm so insecure and the fact two women find me attractive at the same time gives my tiny ego validation. Yay. Wait. Where do he other one go? How do I get my attention back? Hey look at me!'
He's about to get submerged in ice if he doesn't quit his shit. They never heed the warning though and insist in pushing their luck.
Then they get mauled.
Posted by Ellycakes
He isn't that oblivious. He's whoring for attention and validation.'Oh my ex wife wants me. But so does this girl at work. I'm so insecure and the fact two women find me attractive at the same time gives my tiny ego validation. Yay. Wait. Where do he other one go? How do I get my attention back? Hey look at me!'
He's about to get submerged in ice if he doesn't quit his shit. They never heed the warning though and insist in pushing their luck.
Then they get mauled.
I love it when Virgos get vengeful.
It's like watching a Leo be humble or a Capricorn cry at a Pixar movie.
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Lol! Surely not!
Posted by SensitiveBlues
I really feel bad for you. I do.
What he's costing me in emotional duress, I will recoup with punitive damages. I hope he likes purple paint on his nice, pearl colored Audi.
Not really. But I have considered it.
Posted by SensitiveBlues
I really feel bad for you. I do.What he's costing me in emotional duress, I will recoup with punitive damages. I hope he likes purple paint on his nice, pearl colored Audi.
Not really. But I have considered it.
you shouldn't have quit your job and you should handle this like a BO $ $
you're too emotional right now
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I agree I am emotional right now. But I quit for other reasons too.
Posted by SensitiveBlues
I really feel bad for you. I do.What he's costing me in emotional duress, I will recoup with punitive damages. I hope he likes purple paint on his nice, pearl colored Audi.
Not really. But I have considered it.
you shouldn't have quit your job and you should handle this like a BO $ $
you're too emotional right now
I agree I am emotional right now. But I quit for other reasons too.
Ok if you really want to hurt the Crab. Walk away completely. Block him in every way possible.
Being ignored to us is being rejected.
That hurts more then you painting his car....even tho that will hurt...
someone cutting us off is like a most painful experience.
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Part of the reason I'm quitting. 😈
Not the only one, but part of it. I don't have any social media, so he won't be able to stalk me surreptitiously either (if he were even feeling so inclined, that is)
Posted by SensitiveBlues
I really feel bad for you. I do.What he's costing me in emotional duress, I will recoup with punitive damages. I hope he likes purple paint on his nice, pearl colored Audi.
Not really. But I have considered it.
you shouldn't have quit your job and you should handle this like a BO $ $
you're too emotional right now
I agree I am emotional right now. But I quit for other reasons too.
Ok if you really want to hurt the Crab. Walk away completely. Block him in every way possible.
Being ignored to us is being rejected.
That hurts more then you painting his car....even tho that will hurt...
someone cutting us off is like a most painful experience.
Part of the reason I'm quitting. 😈
Not the only one, but part of it. I don't have any social media, so he won't be able to stalk me surreptitiously either (if he were even feeling so inclined, that is)
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you.
you said you were quitting because you had a second job lined up as a hostess and not because of the cancer guy
now you're retreating because of the cancer guy
I currently have 2 jobs - it's down from 3.
I work full time in a salaried position with a logistics company (where the Crab works too).
I work part time as a hostess in an upscale restaurant.
I used to bar tend part time in another casual dining restaurant. I quit the bartending job (even though I loved it) to free up some time and because they were trying to increase my hours.
The upscale restaurant offered me a position as an Event Coordinator (I think that's the job you're referring to), but I turned it down because the hours and the pay scale just weren't enough. I've wanted to quit my day job for awhile and thought about taking the Coordinator position temporarily until I found something else, but ultimately decided it wouldn't be fair to have them invest the time and training in me, just for me to turn around and step down right after stepping up - especially because I want to continue hosting there even after I get another full time job.
I turned in my notice at my day job because the company culture is severely misogynistic and underhanded AND because of the bullshit with the boy. I have enough money currently to live pretty comfortably for several months and I have been paying extra on all my revolving bills for the past two months, so my costs should be minimal until I can find something else that will work better long term.
Posted by Andalusia
@housecleaningI currently have 2 jobs - it's down from 3.
I work full time in a salaried position with a logistics company (where the Crab works too).
I work part time as a hostess in an upscale restaurant.
I used to bar tend part time in another casual dining restaurant. I quit the bartending job (even though I loved it) to free up some time and because they were trying to increase my hours.
The upscale restaurant offered me a position as an Event Coordinator (I think that's the job you're referring to), but I turned it down because the hours and the pay scale just weren't enough. I've wanted to quit my day job for awhile and thought about taking the Coordinator position temporarily until I found something else, but ultimately decided it wouldn't be fair to have them invest the time and training in me, just for me to turn around and step down right after stepping up - especially because I want to continue hosting there even after I get another full time job.
I turned in my notice at my day job because the company culture is severely misogynistic and underhanded AND because of the bullshit with the boy. I have enough money currently to live pretty comfortably for several months and I have been paying extra on all my revolving bills for the past two months, so my costs should be minimal until I can find something else that will work better long term.
i wasn't looking for your life story lady, but yes thats what i meant, the event coordinator
you're not going to get any payback are you
Posted by HouseCleaning
i told you to pour water into his gas tankI would consider it if I could do it without getting caught.
excuses
If you have any suggestions, I'm all ears.
He just emailed me and said "ice cold". I guess meaning my attitude towards him, since I haven't spoken to him for non work related matters in awhile.
This guy is not your typical cancer. Normally they don't keep women around as "friends", but apparently that's what he wants, OR, he has other motives. I would think the latter. (from my perspective)
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This crab is a douche like many others are or have been, look to your cancer board for some hints here... lol Not all crbas, but saddly many of them are very unevolved and keep females around as fall backs..
@Melly i vote call him out for his shitty behavior and him being petty with that email while working is douche level 100. it's the fucking work place.
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Yeah. I think I hurt his feelings though.