Capricorn- disappearing (Page 2)

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by CAPLOCK

Posted by pinkbird03
@caplock hey I took your advice and I think I made his heart melt! He said he was very tired and boy was he the most negative I've seen him today. About work, about weather, ect. So I sent him a cute picture and said, "i only send you pictures because you're the hottest and sweetest man I know!!"

Then his response was. Well, I do appreciate them! ?

I'm also sure he knew I was trying to make him feel better. You may also want to know I'm definitely shy at saying things like this to him because I'm unsure of how'd he'd take it. But I do believe you gave good advice!

You're welcome. And btw you're just slowly pealing his layers away.

Interesting! I do feel that way a bit. He's gotta be the thickest onion I've ever pealed!

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"The thickest onion ever" - lol! I was actually starting to feel like you do now, Pinkbird03, a few days ago... Because he'd changed some of his habits a little bit for me... He began responding more frequently and he seemed to understand that diplomacy wouldn't work with me, etc. I was starting to feel good about him, and I actually thought of telling him "I'm already inside your brick wall even if you are not aware of it", but then, we had a really long, super silly argument which is so not like either us (I love arguments, but both of us hate stupid arguments; wonder what made us get into it), his cycles started again... Like you and another friend said, I'll wait but not initiate any move for now. 🙂

Posted by CAPLOCK
@Inlovewithlife - From what you mention, hes not ready for a relationship. He just wants to be friends. He has other priorities. Just being honest with you. I know you enjoy writing but my fear is if you're home too much you might get a bit needy ? (please dont take it the wrong way)

With that said, understand that you're in no way obligated to him. You dont owe him anything. Tell him you dont like how he takes too long to respond and you hate how he disappears. If he wants to be apart of you're life, he needs to make some time and effort for you.

Besides that, protect your heart. You two seem very young. Or he lacks maturity. Still has characteristics to develope.

Dear Caplock, a few questions I have now.

Earlier in the initial stages, I used to call him 'buddy'. But later on, say after 5 months, he jokingly said over and over that he doesn't want me to call him so, even if that meant nothing to me! (For me, even after marriage, I'll call my guy 'buddy', treat him like a friend and call him silly/cute names). If he wants to be just friends, why would he hate being called 'buddy'? Plus, he's also made a lot of sweet romantic gestures, and once or twice, he'd even tell me how much he enjoyed our first hug and the first kiss.

I had a doubt if he, in anyway, wanted to be some friends with benefits or just wanted sex (I develop these negative thoughts when he avoids contact for days or nearly a week or even more)... But these astro fellows say, "most Cap men are not that type!" (If he is of that kind, I'd happily walk away, 'coz 'love' means so much to me and I can give myself to only one man).

It's the effort part that concerns me - the time and effort. I see a small change after 7 months; he's now responding more often and sooner than he used to. Earlier he'd ignore my messages for days or not respond at all. Should I see this a positive sign? Another good friend in this forum, #Foreverloveme said that this by itself is a sign that he's interested in me...

Thanks for the 'protect your heart' warning. Really sweet of you. Regarding the maturity, he's now thirty and he's just started working (for a month now). For nearly 6 years he was doing his doctorate. A few weeks ago, he told me that this is just a temporary job, till he gets the right opportunity... So this career thingy is the only major obstacle? What do his other actions and inactions mean? (Pls do read my post on this forum 'LeoFemale -Cap Male chances?' When you are free and let me know what you think. 🙂

Posted by InLoveWithLife

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by CAPLOCK

Posted by pinkbird03
@caplock hey I took your advice and I think I made his heart melt! He said he was very tired and boy was he the most negative I've seen him today. About work, about weather, ect. So I sent him a cute picture and said, "i only send you pictures because you're the hottest and sweetest man I know!!"

Then his response was. Well, I do appreciate them! ?

I'm also sure he knew I was trying to make him feel better. You may also want to know I'm definitely shy at saying things like this to him because I'm unsure of how'd he'd take it. But I do believe you gave good advice!

You're welcome. And btw you're just slowly pealing his layers away.

Interesting! I do feel that way a bit. He's gotta be the thickest onion I've ever pealed!

"The thickest onion ever" - lol! I was actually starting to feel like you do now, Pinkbird03, a few days ago... Because he'd changed some of his habits a little bit for me... He began responding more frequently and he seemed to understand that diplomacy wouldn't work with me, etc. I was starting to feel good about him, and I actually thought of telling him "I'm already inside your brick wall even if you are not aware of it", but then, we had a really long, super silly argument which is so not like either us (I love arguments, but both of us hate stupid arguments; wonder what made us get into it), his cycles started again... Like you and another friend said, I'll wait but not initiate any move for now. 🙂

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Have you talked to him anymore? You seem happier!

I'm sorry sweetie, but how can you state he didn't contact me for a week!

Any man who wants you will make it quite clear, always, every day, don't settle for when he feels like it, just saying!

Don't sell yourself short!

My sis is married to a cap she's a Leo, always got problems, geez, she thinks I'm ditsy! Lmao! She gets peed off cause he always wants to help her with everything she wants to do, then she does it on her own and pushes him out! Lol! I don't get this pairing of at all ?

They been together like 30 years.

Jeez id give anything for a man to support me in my career, or hobbies instead of slagging them off lol!

Posted by piscespoppy
Jeez id give anything for a man to support me in my career, or hobbies instead of slagging them off lol!

Do you have a significant other? Or dating anyone?

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by InLoveWithLife

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by CAPLOCK

Posted by pinkbird03
@caplock hey I took your advice and I think I made his heart melt! He said he was very tired and boy was he the most negative I've seen him today. About work, about weather, ect. So I sent him a cute picture and said, "i only send you pictures because you're the hottest and sweetest man I know!!"

Then his response was. Well, I do appreciate them! ?

I'm also sure he knew I was trying to make him feel better. You may also want to know I'm definitely shy at saying things like this to him because I'm unsure of how'd he'd take it. But I do believe you gave good advice!

You're welcome. And btw you're just slowly pealing his layers away.

Interesting! I do feel that way a bit. He's gotta be the thickest onion I've ever pealed!

"The thickest onion ever" - lol! I was actually starting to feel like you do now, Pinkbird03, a few days ago... Because he'd changed some of his habits a little bit for me... He began responding more frequently and he seemed to understand that diplomacy wouldn't work with me, etc. I was starting to feel good about him, and I actually thought of telling him "I'm already inside your brick wall even if you are not aware of it", but then, we had a really long, super silly argument which is so not like either us (I love arguments, but both of us hate stupid arguments; wonder what made us get into it), his cycles started again... Like you and another friend said, I'll wait but not initiate any move for now. 🙂

Have you talked to him anymore? You seem happier!

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Nah! After that, we had no communication. It's you guys who've made me happy, dear. 🙂

Posted by Foreverloveme

Posted by piscespoppy
I'm sorry sweetie, but how can you state he didn't contact me for a week!

Any man who wants you will make it quite clear, always, every day, don't settle for when he feels like it, just saying!

Don't sell yourself short!

Everyday is overkill sometimes that's why everyone has to have their own comfort & tolerance level

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I get it.

Posted by piscespoppy
I'm sorry sweetie, but how can you state he didn't contact me for a week!

Any man who wants you will make it quite clear, always, every day, don't settle for when he feels like it, just saying!

Don't sell yourself short!

Dear Piscespoppy,

I understand what you mean. I couldn't believe that either. But from what I've read and experienced, Cap men seem to be quite reserved, and they find it extremely difficult to discuss their emotions. When they take a break and come back later, it may seem like a year for extroverted people like me, but they seem to have the energy they need to talk casually. Sometimes, when he comes back, for a short while, I'd avoid him, but as he continues to be sweet, I'd kinda like him.

The major difference between a Leo and a Cap seems to be their way of communication. 🙂

Wanna update this story and to know why he acts this way... He had updated me once about his work 3 weeks ago and I text him twice after that, each times he did talk to me back but the conversations are only about I give some informations for him for his jobs searching. And I gave him some options that I would help him. So our conversation not like in the early stage anymore, no more some light filrty text... I guess he is anxiet about his jobs searching so I don't wanna bother him as well... But I wanna try to know what is he thinking about me and him, he still talk to me whenever I text him and not try to ignore me and reply me quickly but he doesn't text me first anymore. For a cap is he just try to keep me as a frd maybe? By the way last time we msg I said we can be good frd (cos I don't want to give him pressure to think that I text him means I like him lot) not sure I was doing it right.

Why? Becoz he doesn't text me first anymore? But now he is stressing about his job so maybe he doesn't have mood to put time on to develop any relationship?

Posted by Myaaaya
Wanna update this story and to know why he acts this way... He had updated me once about his work 3 weeks ago and I text him twice after that, each times he did talk to me back but the conversations are only about I give some informations for him for his jobs searching. And I gave him some options that I would help him. So our conversation not like in the early stage anymore, no more some light filrty text... I guess he is anxiet about his jobs searching so I don't wanna bother him as well... But I wanna try to know what is he thinking about me and him, he still talk to me whenever I text him and not try to ignore me and reply me quickly but he doesn't text me first anymore. For a cap is he just try to keep me as a frd maybe? By the way last time we msg I said we can be good frd (cos I don't want to give him pressure to think that I text him means I like him lot) not sure I was doing it right.

I had the same thing happen - Cap initiated everything, told me I was really attractive and stopped responding out of the blue. We met on a dating site but the whole thing was unexpected. Found out he was unemployed at the time because my last question was "what do you do for work?" - losing interest is a possibility but that wouldn't make any sense as we never met.

The thing abt the society nowadays, the more highly educated u r, the more difficult it will be for u to find work....unless in specialise fields like medical/legal.....

Anyway I digress.....the guy i date disappears for 2-3days, but when he comes back he intentionally/unintentionally explains why he didnt contact me.....

I dated a pisces previously, they disappear for weeks, comes back and pick it off where they left with no reasons where they went....if u ask, **pooffffff gone again

Anyway weirdly all signs men do the disappearing act, its only to what extend.....

@takemeaway he was the one told me that he was looking for a job I never ask too much questions instead I had been talk about myself or brought up some topics, so he had been updating me of his job interviews in the earlier stage but since no feed back from the jobs then it seems me and him started went down hill...

@jalent99 but it seems disappear act always happen on a cap sign, many people has experienced that everything seems going good but cap pull away all the sudden, no idea why they act this way, there must be something inside their head which makes them stop and slow it down

@myaaaya

Not all caps, i was in a r/s with one and that never happ in the 1.5yrs together.

As a Cap, I personally need time alone when i m stressed, cause i dont want to affect my partner and I believe i can shoulder everyth on my own....then again my aqua venus might be the domineering trait tht makes me retreat a little. My retreating is different, if he doesnt contact me, i wouldnt, but if he does i wouldnt ignore. It also depends on if i m into him.

Dont know abt guys, mayb they cant multitask like us thus when focus in work, we r not on their mind, and the work might take a while. That or cause Caps Takes time to realise that they like u, in the meantime we wont be anywhere near the top on his priority list, thus the disappearance.....

The top 3 signs tht take a long time to decide in r/s

1) Cap

2) Sag

3) Aqua

@Myaaya - in your case I think he is concerned about his career. If he is still talking to you trust when I say that is a good sign. Perhaps he is purposefully steering your "relationship" at a slow down until he can get his shit together. Does this make sense?

My suggestion is to talk to him about something other than work. Give him some compliments. Make him smile and laugh.

Of cos I do want to contract him and make him laugh but at the same time I feel like I better give him some space as I don't know him for that long, I think I should let him to contact me first in our next conversation. One step back makes things goes forward sometime... Thank you all of you! I will update it if he contact me next time (I hope)

In my case, its a Cappy girl acting this way. When meet her or talk to her on phone she is so nice and sweet. God knows what happens while texting. At times, responses are immediate otherwise it takes a day or two to hear back from her.

Posted by cheekyfaerie

Posted by Myaaaya
Of cos I do want to contract him and make him laugh but at the same time I feel like I better give him some space as I don't know him for that long, I think I should let him to contact me first in our next conversation. One step back makes things goes forward sometime... Thank you all of you! I will update it if he contact me next time (I hope)

Be careful with giving space. We'll create our own when we need it. If you start giving too much, trying to be helpful, he may misconstrue that as *you* losing interest. If that happens, he'll mirror you and the situation will only get worse.

The best thing you can do is be consistent. Caps thrive with stability. It gives us the confidence to open up to you. If we start to feel a push/pull, we retreat and will close up shop if that feeling persists. Make us feel secure and we may go through an initial withdrawal to get our feelings in order, but we'll come back stronger and more dedicated, as a result.

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I see the mirroring strategy used A LOT with the cap I'm dating. I notice it with a lot of different things that we do. Im not sure if that's common for this sign though.

Posted by cheekyfaerie

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by cheekyfaerie

Posted by Myaaaya
Of cos I do want to contract him and make him laugh but at the same time I feel like I better give him some space as I don't know him for that long, I think I should let him to contact me first in our next conversation. One step back makes things goes forward sometime... Thank you all of you! I will update it if he contact me next time (I hope)

Be careful with giving space. We'll create our own when we need it. If you start giving too much, trying to be helpful, he may misconstrue that as *you* losing interest. If that happens, he'll mirror you and the situation will only get worse.

The best thing you can do is be consistent. Caps thrive with stability. It gives us the confidence to open up to you. If we start to feel a push/pull, we retreat and will close up shop if that feeling persists. Make us feel secure and we may go through an initial withdrawal to get our feelings in order, but we'll come back stronger and more dedicated, as a result.

I see the mirroring strategy used A LOT with the cap I'm dating. I notice it with a lot of different things that we do. Im not sure if that's common for this sign though.

Yep. If you take forever to answer my texts, I won't see the urgency in answering yours. If you're wishy washy about plans, I'll initiate them less. If you don't make me a priority, I'll stop seeing you as one.

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Yes. It's also the opposite. If I show more interest, he does. If I talk more, he does. If I share more details of my life, he does. If I flirt more, he does.

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Jalent99

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Myaaaya
I randomly went on a site that talk about cappy disappearing a lot in a relationship. At first they create a future pic to the girl they are interested in and at one point they just cut everything and even stop contacting to a girl who they once gave commit with, and don't care of the girl feeling and disappear for long even end the relationship for no warning give. Hot and cold often, they can be a good player to make you fall hard into love and gone so sudden? Is it becoz they doesn't love enough to a girl? Are they consistent stay sweet in a relationship? And what if a girl not rich they will discount the interest in them?

You read all of that on a website? I have to disagree. I've been dating a Capricorn since April and he's never once been cold or disappeared on me. He's consistently sweet.

Basically he reaches out to u everyday?

It's balanced. He always responds to my messages and he does text me first some days. Although hes not the best texter. Like I could ask him how his day was and he'll just say good. Then when I see him in person, he shares all the details. I think Capricorns are very hard to read sometimes and that gives them a bad rep. But it's quite the opposite.

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Are we dating the same cappy ? 😕



*Getting Suspicious*

I have a question:

When cappy men interested in a gal will they consistently contact with them until be in a relationship? Or cappy men would have some pull back act as well during that time?

Just wondering how cappy men deal with the intitial stage... Becoz it seems when men chasing women when everything seems going well its rarely to has the disappearing act but cappy does! I wonder is it becoz a cappy doesn't into you that much that's why caused this problem?

Posted by Myaaaya
Just wondering how cappy men deal with the intitial stage... Becoz it seems when men chasing women when everything seems going well its rarely to has the disappearing act but cappy does! I wonder is it becoz a cappy doesn't into you that much that's why caused this problem?

When me and my cappy were in the initial stages of our relationship we didn't talk much and upon asking the reason why he doesn't want to talk to me he said if we will talk all the time you will get tired and will loose interest in me too soon

May I ask what's the frequency of you two contacting each other tho? Mostly he find you first?

Posted by Myaaaya
May I ask what's the frequency of you two contacting each other tho? Mostly he find you first?

If you are asking me, we now contact each other daily its mostly text messaging. Who contacts first? its balanced none of us play games to wait for each other to text first. if we have to say something we text but in the beginning he used to initiate the contact most of the time. I hope you know Its been almost 4 years we are in a committed relationship.

If a cappy wants you in his life he WILL contact you. don't worry about the frequency though because it varies with the situation they don't want to scare us away by contacting frequently especially in the beginning of the relationship

Thank you so much for the reply, yes you r right if he is interested then he will contact, but sometime just waited for too long..

Posted by Myaaaya
Thank you so much for the reply, yes you r right if he is interested then he will contact, but sometime just waited for too long..

Yes If he wants you in his life he will surely contact you just make him feel safe if he do. The most important thing is not to have any expectations to soon. Just go on with your life normally and don't wait for him to contact you. If its meant to be it will be

Posted by Myaaaya
Thank you so much for the reply, yes you r right if he is interested then he will contact, but sometime just waited for too long..

I agree with @anna1

How long do you normally wait for him to text you first? My cap doesn't text first a lot. Sometimes I wait up to 3 days. But if I want to talk to him, I text him first. Not a big deal.

He cold me almost a month and now he changed all a sudden not sure what the reason. It's weird that before I tried to lead the conversation to plan a bit about us (as we r living in different city for now) but apparently he just made me felt like he is not gonna do anything.. But yesterday he changed, he told me his plan and even said he could fly to see me once he got a job which much closer to me... I feel like he is just hot and cold.. Not consistent... Why..

Posted by Myaaaya
He cold me almost a month and now he changed all a sudden not sure what the reason. It's weird that before I tried to lead the conversation to plan a bit about us (as we r living in different city for now) but apparently he just made me felt like he is not gonna do anything.. But yesterday he changed, he told me his plan and even said he could fly to see me once he got a job which much closer to me... I feel like he is just hot and cold.. Not consistent... Why..

Seems like he is stressed out about something. It could be either job or finance or maybe something else

He came to my city a month ago, he was trying to get a job near my city, we spent some times together, we had a great time... one night he suddenly said he likes me, we were like bf gf he msg me everyday update me things... but a night that I found he tried to ask a girl out which they never met before, also I found he lied to me that he wanted to stay home to work instead of staying at my place, and actually he tried to meet that girl in one of those days... and he told me that he try to get another job in another city, I felt so sad... then I told him that we should stop seeing each other, I told him that I'm not looking for short term sp but a long term relationship, and he said that if he end up stay in my city he will let me know..

on the social network he has been only giving attention to that girl, I couldn't understand... why before he had been treating me so good but at the same time try to get another girl?!

I thought Capricorn are honest and loyal

Aww I'm sorry to hear the sad news! Hope you're doing ok!

Posted by jusacapri

Posted by Myaaaya
What about the loyalty on a cappy tho? Only apply it when they found the true love? It seems many people found that they lie and cheat... Why?

Coz wen we're in an unstable relationship although we love the person very much cheatin can be good for us to feel stable again and detach ourselves from the ppl we thought we love.selfish reasons to feel better.

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?

Posted by Capri-sun
Some men are like that

some women are like that too

Posted by OneJupiterWay

Posted by jusacapri

Posted by Myaaaya
What about the loyalty on a cappy tho? Only apply it when they found the true love? It seems many people found that they lie and cheat... Why?

Coz wen we're in an unstable relationship although we love the person very much cheatin can be good for us to feel stable again and detach ourselves from the ppl we thought we love.selfish reasons to feel better.

?

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So that couldnt say Capricorn is that loyal, as a Virgo when I like someone I only focus on that person tho...