Is this normal? (Page 4)

"Because I am in charge and they aren't, there are a lot of ego clashes and power struggles."

We are not a fun sign to be in a power struggle with because we won't relenquish power to anyone, on the same token we don't want anyone to submit to us either, but the thing is if someone pushes the best way to continue down our path towards our end objective is a lot of times to take control of the situation if only they can be removed enough so that everything can get back on scheadule and the right path. It is worst when people think we are confrontational for ego reasons, and it may appear that way a lot of the time but they are just failing to realize that we operate off of ideals and they are standing in the way and and we only have so much time to try and get them to see things our way before we have wasted too much time and energy and we have to sideline them. Some people see what is really going on, others don't and they are the ones that the problem exists with.

"I rather have everyone working as a happy little team moving towards the group goal."

Exactly. What people don't realize is the reason we step in and take charge of the situation more often than not is so we can get everyone operating in this capacity. I will step in, take the reigns and take control but I am doing it so that everyone can use me as a conduit for carrying out whatever the goal is and I can then step back and everyone is working as a team and I don't have to be an authority figure for more than a few minutes, hours or days whatever the situation is. If people just saw we step up to even out the scales so that everyone can have an equal share in responsibility and authority our lives would be a lot easier. It is hard to do sometimes without ego driven personalities seeing us as competing with them and try to step up and are reacting to us instead of seeing the bigger picture and reacting to the entire situation. In fact the person who does this I usually manuever into the least authoritive position in the situation because they so willingly demonstrated they are more interrested in pride and their misconceptions of their own leadership ability and can't step back and see the big picture.

Basically, we aren't trying to prove we are right, we are trying to demonstrate that we see what is right in the middle of all of the bullshit and someone has to step up and point it out.

"The Libra I'm dating was really unsure about sex at first. but he called me a few days ago and is like READY. i'm pretty stoked."

If where you end up doing it is very asthetically pleasing visually (for him) and by feel (for you) expect it to last for HOURS. If you have the Virgo sensitivity to a soft touch and slow, methodical and concious sex and he has the Libran soft touch and desire to pleasure and make love over "getting it on" you two are in for it.

****I find Leo and Libra a lot alike.

I find libra has the positive and negative traits of all the zodiac in various degrees which can keep changing with time and situation with the golden rule of balance deciding which traits to be activated to achieve the balance.

Ok so now he's "trying to work things out" with me. HAHAHAHAHA What a joke. He says he will stop at nothing to convince me that he had nothing to do with her. He is a Emotional wreck. He has no controll of his emotions what so ever. He claims that he doesn't want her to go around and bad mouth him and tarnish his spotless reputaion. I figure I'll keep him around till my birthday in a couple weeks and then give him the boot.

Hmmmmm is that fair to do?? why don't you just cut him off??

Ok,I'm so glad to have found this page. I needed to read your post. This is my story and i need HELP bad trying to figure this out.
I met a Libra guy in December, i was in Ny shopping and I live in NC. He came up to me and we chatted and he asked for my #. He lives in VA. I called me the same night and we had a wonderful conversation. He charmed me and I was so impressed with our conversation. I've never had a great conversation with a man like this libra. So finally about two weeks of talking on the phone, he asked me to come to VA. I went that weekend and he showed me a great time in his city. We stayed together in the hotel room and of course we had sex. I didnt consider it bad because we had talked so much over the phone and we live five hours apart so I know its impossible to see him every weekend. ( also to add, i was a little bit horney, it had been about six-eight months since my last sexual encounter). LOL.

So after that it was good, we still chatted over the phone about every three days and i visited him again after three to four weeks after the first visit.

Then this is what happended, i started to get alot of feelings for him and i was afraid of these feelings. So i told him how i was feeling and that i was going to back away and give this some time. He understood. BUT he thought i meant i never wanted to talk to him again even on the phone. But i didnt mean that. I thought i made myself clear that i was just not going to come back to VA for a while until i could get my feelings under control. I came from a very abusive, emotional 10 year marriage. I've been separated for about a year and it was happening so fast with this libra. I was just scared of being hurt I guess.

Anyway, i called him for the next five months and he refused to take any of my calls. I didnt call a lot only about once or twice a month leaving messages. Finally, he called me in May. He told me that he was just giving me the space i said i needed.

Anyway, now we are back casual friends.

But my point is, I cant read into this guy. He says so much to make me think that he is really into me but he's NOT straight forward. I made a comment about he would be a great husband one day to some lady. And he was like, why didnt you say i would be a great husband to you. He just say small things but never anything direct like, I really want to get with you. OR whatever.

So i need help, do you think he is really feeling me and just not the type to express that

His actions almost imply he's married or otherwise attached.

* Can u guys believe that he has the nerve to call me and cookiemonster and argue and blame me for the entire situation just because word got out in the first place that we were seeing eachother.

Perhaps. Did you tell people you were seeing him? He may not have been ready to make that move. Discretion and privacy are important. The decision to make a relationship public is an important one.

Happycrab

STop engaging the drama.

If you can't let him go, which it is obvious that you can't, just accept that you like him.

that married comment was for keke.

i'm done with happycrab. should change her name to hokeycrab.

Happycrab, you must be enjoying where you stand with him, which is pretty low, as you keep allowing the reconnection. Girl, you need some self-esteem or either accept being where you are and stop complaining.

kekenc - When you visited him, did you ever stay at his home or just hotels? What is your sign? Nothing has been confirmed as far as a relationship with you guys, so don't expect more than what it is. Whatever that is.

Queen, you're right.

The answers to your question, we stay at hotels BUT i dont think he's married but having someone else part, i'm not sure. When i arrive in VA, I go to his house and stay there until we go to the hotel. He runs one of his businesses out of his home so we are there at the store or i'll go out shopping and come back. But going to this home has never been a problem. But having a girlfriend, that may be, i'm not sure about that one.

Oh, i dont even want to tell you my sign LOL, its Virgo! And yes, we are OVERTHINKERS in everything we do.

But i'm not implying anything with a relationship with him, i just dont ever know were he's coming from. If he wants a relationship, i would go for it but if he doesnt then i'm cool with that too. Its just like he's so laid back and doesnt really expresse himself. He says things to make me think he is into me but I still dont think they are enough to make me really go for it. And i dont want to push him away with a bunch of questions.

Thanks for your help Queen. I've read alot of your post and you are very wise and right on point.

Also, i dont think i made this clear but when we stop talking for months, he made the first call to me and has been calling ever since. I dont call him that much, but i wait for him and he does. We speak about once or twice a week. The last time we got off the phone, he said, well call me back. He always say, i'll call you.

Anyway, i dont pressure him, i just want to see if you guys can give me some understanding of this man.

***Its just like he's so laid back and doesnt really expresse himself. He says things to make me think he is into me but I still dont think they are enough to make me really go for it. And i dont want to push him away with a bunch of questions***

Be careful, you can't be sure unless he expresses or shows you undeniably that he is getting serious with you. They love their friends as well. I even think in a weird way, although they don't get all emotional most times about FWB's, they can care deeply for them and sometimes it can spill over into love, but if it isn't a logical move then they will ignore the love part and rebalance. They care deeply for those who are important to them and make everyone feel like they are th most important people in their world in their presence. It is a gift they have that many envy. Charm....

***Thanks for your help Queen. I've read alot of your post and you are very wise and right on point.***

Thanks, I have quite a bit of experience with Libra men, both kind... LOL!!!

Yes, listen to QS. She's helped me quite a bit with my relationship - both here and in emails. She gives great insight. My boyfriend and I are almost to 6 months and it hasn't been easy, but OMG - it's SO worth it. Just make sure you know you have the "right" kind of Libra because as QS says, you can have experience both kinds of Libra men.

Awww, thanks HP. I just share what I have learned experience is a great teaching. Zodiac signs don't solely make the make-up of an individual. Life experience, maturity and environment has a lot to do with it. Other signs within your chart can also play a part. "the right" person for you, is the right person to be with, they may be all wrong for someone else.

Thanks QS.

I understand better now, so if a Libra man is really feeling you then he will express himself. He expresses himself a little bit but I thought he was just afraid because I may reject him since I've already made it clear to him that I was starting to care for him but I didnt want to feel that way, because it happened so fast and I wasn't ready for it.

So i thought that was maybe why he has not been really expressive because of my actions but maybe he's just not looking for anything serious.

I just needed to know, so I will handle this friendship appropriately for both of us.

He's a fun guy so I'll always keep him as a friend. Plus we have this long distance thing between us so we really dont get to see each other that much. But he never has a problem with me visiting and I try to go and see him one weekend out of every month, just to get away. Its like a mini-vacation for me.

This libra guy is so confusing.

I really want to just get this over with. He just left me a message at work saying that he was thinking about me and just decided to give me a call.

I dont know what to think, i tell you guys, he's the one that does all the calling. I think he is just confused (undecided) and doesnt know what to do with us. Again, maybe he's just afraid that i'm going to reject him.

Because of my actions before. But i'm just going to take it slow with him and give it some time. Why are they so complicated? All the guys that I have dated including 11 year marriage with my ex, all of them were very expressive from the beginning. I'm telling you, I heard the words " i love you" within three-four months into the relationship. Sometimes it was scary because the feelings were not mutual. But at least i knew they were feeling.

With this Libra, I can't read into him at all. LOL

kekenc, no problem. If he doesn't mention that he wants a serious relationship. If he doesn't make you feel confident that he does, by facts proven, then, most likely he doesn't.

Does he ever come see you? Why hotels and he has his own house, or does he? Just wondering.

***Because of my actions before. But i'm just going to take it slow with him and give it some time. Why are they so complicated? All the guys that I have dated including 11 year marriage with my ex, all of them were very expressive from the beginning. I'm telling you, I heard the words " i love you" within three-four months into the relationship. Sometimes it was scary because the feelings were not mutual. But at least i knew they were feeling.***

They aren't confusing, just don't state their claim until they are sure how they feel. If they are sure about how they feel about you they will let you know, sometimes not directly. However, they like to know the feeling is mutual, don't want to be hurt, just like anyone else.

Ask him. He will most likely give you an honest answer.

Yes, he has his own house, remember, i was saying he runs a business out of his home. I really dont feel comfortable saying at his house yet and he knows that. Nothing bad, but i'm picky like that. And from 9-9, he runs that store so people are in and out. At the room, I can rest while he's working because he works there at the store Saturday and Sunday. He's a busy man and loves money so he doesnt know when to stop working. He has guys that will take his place but he has to be there. I guess he thinks he's going to miss something.

So we just do the room thing but i'm always at the house when i'm there. I come and go until he finish working then we go out to dinner and back to room.

As far as him coming to NC (my home). No, i really havent asked him too because of my ex husband issue. He's still doing crazy stuff and I dont want this Libra involved. The libra doesnt pressure me about coming to NC so I dont bring up my little issue with my ex either.

Queen, I can't thank you enough for allowing me to vent with you.

I owe you.

Kekenc, Oh, no problem. Happy to help. I know too well about the ex husband issue, finalizing a divorce now. Librapersonified, still comes to see me in Chicago...🙂 Who cares about the crazy ex. He has even asked my duaghter if I had a boyfriend, she told him, "I can't tell you it is me and my mommy's business" wow, four year olds... I didn't tell her to say that at all. He eventually pressured her to tell him I had one and even what his name was. I hated that. One of his neighbors, told me about it and I asked my duaghter, she said, "mommy daddy kept asking me." I told her it was okay... Oh BTW, my ex is a Libra too.. Ugghhh. The other kind of Libra.

I can't tell you it is me and my mommy's business"

OOPs, she said, me and my mommy's secret....

"I really dont feel comfortable saying at his house yet and he knows that."

Not sure I understand this. You are comfortable with having sex with the guy but you aren't comfortable staying at his house? Seems like one element is stronger than the other - therefore doesn't make much sense. You say you two just do the "room thing" and dinner. That's not much to base dating or whatever you want from this guy. THe message this sends is you're only worth a trip to him for dinner and sex.

Self esteem issues?? Thats so not true. The guy calls me 10 times a day and I am just being entertained by all this. I never call him. He has asked to see me and I have refused. My honest assesment of this is that I am being a manipulative cancer (not that its right). But in my twisted cancer mind I feel like he deserves to suffer by getting mixed signals from me taking his calls and sounding so nice and cool yet not offering any help by "straitening this out" as he likes to say and calling her or any booty either. Play with fire you get burned, play with water and you DROWNED. Maybe he should take some swimming lessons!

***Self esteem issues?? Thats so not true. The guy calls me 10 times a day and I am just being entertained by all this. I never call him. He has asked to see me and I have refused.***

Oh, when did this course of events change a day or two ago? From your last couple posts he was running from you remember? Oh and now he is calling you 10 times per day. Contridicting. You love chasing him and letting him treat you like crap. Why you even still talk to him is beyond me, but like I said before, you obviously enjoy being treated less than any woman's worth... I don't think you get that you are not in a relationship with this man anymore and that if he does call it is because he wants to shag like all the other times nothing more. However, I doubt that a Libra calls 10 times a day, unless of course you are in a healthy loving relationship with them like I am and then you will definitely have constant contact with them all day long. This is not your case at all though. So, if you enjoy being used for his pleasure only then knock yourself out, but don't complain to anyone about how is treating you. You are allowing it. He isn't wrong you are just not to smart about this.

HoustonPeach,

Yes you definetly misunderstood me. What I meant was, i'm a neat freak and his house is not as NEAT as i would like it to be as far as spending the night. As i said, i'm picky like that. When i rest my head,i want to know that the sheets are clean that the bathroom is clean like i need it to be. So that's what i mean by not comfortable staying in his house.

If his space was tidy like i like it, then i would stay there.

Now regarding the dinner and sex. We dont have sex everytime that I go there. I didnt say that we did. The last weekend I was there, we stayed up talking until I fell asleep on him because that's all he does is talk. So its not about sex, yes, we have sex but thats hardly not even an issue.

Now speaking of sex, i really hate to say this because i'm embarrassed by it. The sex is not good! And i dont even understand how this man have charmed me so bad and the sex is terrible. I dont understand why I even have feelings for this guy. I guess he has me in the web, I heard that's what Libra men do. The only thing this guy has going on for himself is he's charming and I love his conversations. Its so hard to explain, i guess thats why i'm on the internet speaking to you guys b/c i know you understand how it works with Libra men.

********Something else i forgot to mention in my very first post, the second time we had sex, he told me to "never leave him". Then the next week, thats when my confused self told him that I had to back away some because i was starting to get emotionally attached and I was not ready for that. So that's why i really think that he wants to say more to me but scared of me rejecting him, since i made that comment back in December.

QueenS,

I laughed so hard at your comment about your daughter. That is so cute. Are you sure she's 4? LOL.

Anyway, are you dating another Libra or just your ex-hubby is a libra?

"The only thing this guy has going on for himself is he's charming and I love his conversations."

"The sex is not good! And i dont even understand how this man have charmed me so bad and the sex is terrible."

Hmmm...

Hmmm whatever Houston.

Thats why we are on this message board, being honest, no matter how crazy it sounds.

If I understood why I felt this why and i understood this guy then i wouldnt be here. 🙂

So Hmmm, your right but that's how it is. Libra men are hard to understand and I dont even understand how i could have fallen for him in the first place. So just like everyone else here, some things are just not clear.

Hmmm......

kekenc, I know, she is 4 by age, but I don't know about attitude. LOL!!!

I found the perfect libra for me right here on DXP. Librapersonified. Notice any of our threads—? He is a different kind of Libra, contributions of his rising in scorpio could have something to do with it. He adores me and I him, he shows it in every way. He knew from the start he wanted me as a partner even when I wasn't sure... He was so confident and sure about how he felt about me even before we met in person, so that is what I mean about Libras knowing from the start. BTW, my ex told a friend of his after he met me for the first time "she is going to be my wife some day" I didn't date him seriously for a year after our first meeting and when he told me what he told his friend I laughed and told him he was crazy. It happened and we were happy for a long time, however some way some how we let it go down hill and I couldn't live with somone without bein happy with them.

kekenc. Wow, a Libra and bad sex, is like a foreign language... Never found that to be true... Wow! Each different but never bad, never bad... But I guess they all can't be good huh?

LOL QueenS

Yes bad.

One way, small and very quick. Those words sums it up in a clean way. LOL

But he really knows how to talk while doing it, in those few mins, he says alot of things. LOL.

And i'm not trying to talk bad about him at all, i'm just being honest. Because actually if he was the one for me, i could work with that. LOL. Its always ways to help a man improve. LOL

Keke, there is no need for attitude. Just as you say we're on here to understand - this is a two way street. If you are looking to hear only what you want to hear, then you will be in for a rude awakening on this board. Wait until you get a taste of Brahn.

You posted your dilemma and you will get all kind of advices. Just because you don't like one person's advice over another doesn't justify copping an attitude. Reading your responses to me vs. your responses to QS are evident to what I'm referring to.

If you are looking to hear only what you want to hear

Change that to "IF you are looking to READ only what you want to READ"
😛

Crap, can't type.

Advice not advices.

***Because actually if he was the one for me, i could work with that. LOL. Its always ways to help a man improve. LOL***

Damn girl, you are good, me, I ain't gonna be able to do it! Some things I just can't tolerate.

Sex is extremely important, it is not everything but close. LOL!!!

***Wait until you get a taste of Brahn.***

Oh, you won't enjoy his comments, we mostly ignore him. Hiya Brahn.

Just expressing to the girl how it is....

HP, I hear ya.

HoustonPeach,

First I didnt get an attitude. I can accept whatever you all say but its how you say it. I responded back to you in the same tone i felt you responded to me.

I read QueenS messages and she's always very honest but her tone is very accepting and understanding.

Its not a big deal. And to be honest, you really dont have to even reply to what I post. You said i'm telling the "girl how it is". Its "lady".

Thanks

Queen,

Yea, some can't tolerate that. LOL. Now on this subject. I've always heard Scorpio's were the best in bed. And I had a really good friend whose birthday is 11-21 and he was the best. We are still friends, always keep in touch. But he lives in NY and I'm in NC so we haven't saw each other in so long.

whatever you say, lady

kekenc, yes we are great in bed... (I have been told over and over and over and over again... LOL!!!) Not to toot my own horn. Scorps just enjoy sex, all of it, the whole art and beauty of it, more than the action itself. It is important to us. Funny though. We can have casual sex and then we can have intense "in love" sex. They both are normally pleasing to either partner, but there is a more intensity in the "in love" sex. If you know what I mean... Maybe Librapersonified and Nicodemous can express sex with a Scorp better. LOL!!! 😉 I really don't know about scorp men, they make my skin crawl.

It is the passion. When they want to get it on they want to GET IT ON. I think it is the uninhibitedness, and this is what makes it such a good match with Libra's.

I think the thing that tops it off, above all else because I could write a book on the whys of scorpio womans excellence in bed, but I think for me it comes down to the uninhibitedness, lack of self consciousness and their drive to do it and willingness to do it.

They want a guy to take control, but there is a unique way in which the scorpio girl expresses this, she lets it be known in body language and mannerisms that she is beyond the point of self control and it is this kind of telegraphed ?ok-go? signal that is the poison for Libra males. We don't want to ravage someone as much as we want someone to want us to ravage them and that is the Scorpio girl in a nutshel.... and we will. And being Libras we are so perceptive to the subtle uniquness to what a girl likes that we figure out the scorp girls quickly and as soon as we have it down.....we let go completely. I think we are a little less in our heads about sex when we are with scorp women because they demmand a raw-carnal sexual expression no matter if it is love making or good 'ol lets get it on so we become even more experimental than we already are, which is very and it is combined into our normal repitoir with them so it isn't even really thought of as expressive or experimental....normal really. Our internal knack for timming and rythem allow us to take control of a scorp girl without having to ?take? control. Scorp women usually say that they are the agressor or dominant....until they meet a libra and it isn't so much or really at all that we ?take? control, but rather the scorp girl surrenders control as soon as they see that they are about to be taken care of. We fulfil a sort of mutual fantasy with each other, a scorpio girl wants to secretely fall into a sexual trance of raw, constant, intense pleasure and just relish in it without having to direct it and the Libra guy takes them there, and she fulfils his secret fantasy of having someone allow him to have that control and watch someone completely fall into a fit of uncontrollability through the pleasure we bring them.

I also think that Libra male is the only sign that is still councious and skillful while completely uninhibbited....and this drives scorps crazy.

Perfectly said Nic.... Wow, that is so true!!! 🙂

Thanks, though I read it after I typed it and I felt like I was missing something.....probably just my lack of sleep. Meh.

Yeah, I know what you mean, there are never enough words to explain the magic that happens between a Scorp woman and Libra man... Especially if they are right for eachother.