Update (Page 2)

Chatz.. oh Chatz.. You're not listening to me babe.. no talk like that.. all that mushy stuff is not going to do anything but get you into a whole lot more trouble!!! Stop that, think.. ?not so good qualities?.. if you keep focusing on everything that is good you will never get over him. If you keep having sex like normal.. you will never get over these feelings and you are going to be hurt very badly if he does not come around soon. Now that is not to say that he will not, maybe this week he will have enough time to think things through and will profess his love for you. Lets hope.. and I am praying.. bc I know how hard this is to handle. Actually, I really can't imagine bc me and my friend have not had sex.. had we though, and I were in the same situation, I am sure.. absolutely sure I would be climbing the walls.. probably would have torn my house down by now, with my bare hands.. from the sheer frustration of it all. I get addicted to stuff too quickly, that is why I am glad I am here and he is there 🙂 and I have my legs crossed bc I am gonna be good for a while anyway. So back to the subject which I clearly digressed from.. you gotta stop all that mushy crap.. it's no good, think to yourself, ?He is seeing someone else?.. Just put that in the front of your mind when you see him next, and hopefully that does not cause you to do something strange to him, trying to win him back.. What it should do is make you more cautious and less eager.

Just my opinions I know I am a bit zany at times.. please forgive.. just trying to think of off the wall stuff to keep you laffin' and help the situation all at once..

LOL but the mushy stuff was at the end LOL....I left it that long ok— Im getting there *laffs*....Im ok - Im moving forward and will take each day as it comes 🙂 Promise I will be good to myself 🙂

After Wednesday I will cut ties and see what happens...might fall for a Gemini or something - yikes!!!

Its cool...Im really busy in my life anyway so I have to deal with a few issues but it doesnt help that he wants to help LOL....nah friendship is better than nothing 🙂....Im getting there...hey its been a long, long road to getting to this stage let alone having to give him up - give me strength lord LOL.

Thanks Bratty one - Im off on my way home now - wooohooo MOnday over!!!
xox

and yes keep those legs crossed LOL 😛

You have the strength, but I don't understand why you're giving him up? Forgive me, but I'm loopy from pain meds right now, but you say "I feel he will only see me coz he doesn't want to hurt me,"....remember my story with Mr. Libra? He was leery about FWB that night and all he kept repeating was "I don't want to hurt you..", "the last thing I want to do is hurt you", etc. But yet he still is in contact with me because we agreed FWB wasn't the thing to do.

With your guy, I think he sees you as more than FWB, too. Trust me, he won't see you just because he doesn't want to hurt you. If anything, he WOULD NOT see you because he didn't want to hurt you anymore than he figured he was. Ok, I'm going back to read more of the posts...maybe I'm missing a key paragraph somewhere.

"By my own admission I am not ready for a relationship and don't know when I will be but I would like to continue seeing you the way we have been and see where things go"....

Only you can decide if you are capable of having FWB with Libra. He's laid it out that he's not ready to get serious with you, yet he can continue shagging. Can you deal with that? Can you be his FWB without getting further emotionally attached? I couldn't do it - if you can, then you're a much stronger person than I am.

exactly my point....I don't think I can but I can't totally give him up either....I think he wants to continue and see where things go in the distant future but in the meantime keep both our options open...*shrugs*....I dunno...not sure I am strong enough to go through it all....like I said, its taken 3 months to even get to have a simple talk about "us" let alone now having to walk away...Im drained and I think he's more confused than I am...at least I've given him food for thought and he's gone very quiet and even staying offline which is highly unusual for him but yeah, I do look forward to his input on Wednesday re: my family issues.....at least at the very least, I have a great friend in him...he could have just walked away after I said what I said which is what I thought he might do so I guess there's hope but I aint holding my breath....Im ok with it all 🙂

I think LOL

But can't the two of you continue to see where things go without the FWB? Show him what else you have to offer...

Make him work for the goody bag, girl!

DISCLAIMER: All thoughts in my heads make sense to me. If they don't make sense when typed on DXP while currently on pain meds, I cannot be held liable for any confusion I cause.


😛

Oops..I only have one head...typo there.

Example #1

lol...yes we can see one another without the benefits

OK...well I saw my dear Libran man and I was actually dreading seeing him due to worrying about awkwardness, however, I just cannot believe how incredibly relaxed and comfortable he made me feel as soon as he walked through my door.....the subject of what I raised over the last weekend didnt get mentioned and we took up where we left off last time and talked and laughed even more just like best friends once again.....he had sent a few texts during the week to keep me informed as to when we would catch up, etc and I think just to let me know he was thinking of me during this difficult time with a family situation and he never normally sends texts without prompting. Of course we spent the night together and as per usual, amazing stuff (no I won't go into it - you are all spared LOL) and talked all night about just anything and everything - I cannot believe how well we get along plus he dug a little deeper into my life and past and stuff and was genuinely interested....and he seemed to like all my honesty as I always value his...he learnt a lot more about me and it seemed to bring us even closer. He is so playful lately and no longer cynical as he has been in the past. Even though he says he's not ready for a relationship at the moment, he seems to enjoy my company in every way (no not just for the physical side so don't go there LOL).

I honestly thought he would do a runner and that seeing me this week may have caused him some stress after me saying I wanted more from our relationship, however, it seems he's only become closer which doesnt quite make sense but Im trying not to over-analyse it and just enjoy it for what it is even though I don't know what "it" is LOL. After he left this morning we went to our respective work places and only an hour into it I receive 2 text messages....THAT almost made me fall off my chair as Im not used to contact straight away and used to days going by without hearing a word from him, even a week at times!!!

Im not sure but perhaps he's relieved I made my feelings somewhat known - I don't know but he seems even nicer than before and there doesnt appear to be any anxiety about what had happend the previous week. He has put a reminder in his phone to call me at midnight tonight to ensure I am enjoying myself and if Im not he is going to kick my ass as he thinks I need it due to the last few weeks with family LOL....he can't come out with me as he has his daughter with him tonight....awww isn't that sweet?

so anyway guys and gals I am updating on this long winded saga but Im no closer in knowing where we are heading but I feel confident that he's going to hang around for some time to come and I have a wonderful friend in him....I've never known anybody to make me feel so comfortable, safe and cared about ever and THAT is the reason I hang on....there is just something about him that keeps amazing me and wants me to keep taking the wishy washy ways but lately there's no wishy washyness....its bizarre as I was about to start pulling back, now he's really trying to be there which means he cares a hell of a lot about me and that's all I need....to keep questioning would be stupid and just messes with my head so I am just going to continue the way we have been going without worrying in the inbetween days as he has declared that he is not seeing anybody else and that confirms what I believed all along and he's way too honest with everything else to start lying now plus I didnt try to pull that information from him - it came from his own free will and it means a lot that he's doing this and making sure I know he's thinking of me by little texts and/or emails, etc.....wow what a breakthrough - it may not ultimately be what I want in the end but Im feeling pretty good at the moment and that's a nice place to be.

Oh and the fact he has to literally drag himself away from me when we do catch up is a pretty good feeling too.....talk about procrastination!!! Im feeling good and thank you sooooooooooo much everybody for helping me out with suggestions/ideas, etc.....it has all helped so much and if I hadn't have stumbled across this site I would have most definitely lost this guy some time ago and also I am a changed person for the better.....without your assistance I wouldn't be having the great talks and the laughter I am experiencing with this guy.....yes there has been some heartache during it (mostly my own doing due to stressing out) but the ride so far has been nothing short of awesome.

So THANK YOU all - Im on cloud 9 😛 xxxx

I am writing realy quickly.. I am at the library as my computer has crashed on me and I can not get it to work.. I am going to work on it this weekend and will try to write..

Things are going well with my libra.. we talked until 4:30AM Wednesday night, Thursday AM.. we flirted the whole time then about 4:00AM we started talking a little bit more seriously.. I am kind of scared bc if we do, do the deed, I don't think I will be able to go back to being just friends.. he asked me if I could and I said I don't know. So I am hoping, that he will suggest us not go there, if he thinks we would not be serious afterward. He knows what I want, so I know he knows that I could not be casual with him. There is too much time, love and energy between us.. But I am sooooo looking forward to the event.. Hopefully for my bday.. which is in the next few weeks 2/1.. I am going to ask for HIM as my bday present and see what he says.. after our conversation the other night, I am pretty sure it will happen.

Libra.. please advise me on what to do to get inside his head and "shut that door" while I have him in my presence. I am planning to invite him to hang with me and my friends on 1/31, go out to eat and stuff, then rent a room or go to my place.. for dessert.

Let me know what you think..

Chatz.. You go girly😉.. I will reply more later if I can...🙂

You chicks are getting down with your bad selfs with your Libras. Mine is just the same.

I went out with a "friend of a friend" last night. He's a Gemini and OMG, what a freak.

My best friend's bday is 02/01....I knew there was something I liked about you. 😉

HP.. NO WAY!!! that is awesome, so she and I have a lot in common I bet.. Yes, things do seem to be turning around for us chickadees.. that is mad cool! and you are too much for all of us, now it's a gem? and uummm how do you know, missy, that this dude is a freak?? No freaky stuff on the first date!!

You're too much! 😉

Oh I definitely didn't do any freaky stuff with him, but he definitely isn't shy about talking about certain subjects.

Chatz.. I can not see your libra, not coming around.. and I know that was 2 double negatives so please.. I did not do well with grammar in school, but anyway.. The way you describe the events that took place that night and all the things you all have going for you, I think patience is the key.. but you already know that (I sound a lot like the Oracle on the Matrix) but you do, and you know you need to get a hobby and still go out, no matter how good it is or gets.. Your gonna get him, I just know it. I think the thing with his ex may be plaguing him a bit. Maybe he just wants to be a good father and feels he can't do everything right now. You all share some very intimate moments and that has to mean a lot to him, but some how guys are able to cut off their feelings or seemingly and I don't really understand how they can be so into you one minute, and NOT want more. We are dying for something concrete and they are playing it cool, all the while knowing we are not going anywhere. Wish we could be as confident huh?

Well this year is starting off right, which is a bit scary actually, because it's always good then the bomb drops.. we will see as the saga unfolds...

HP.. So what's up? Is he cute.. are you all going out again? Will he replace Mr. Libra #1?? Give up the info..

No, just trying to move on. I told a girlfriend of mine to hook me up with someone single and that was who she came up with on sudden notice. He is cute. He looks like Scott Wolf, if you know who he is. and he's really short, but he's a nice guy.

I dunno Scott Wolf.. he is cute though.. well is he helping you get over Mr. Libra? What is up with the short guy thing? Where have all the 6' men gone? My ex libra was 5'7" which = too short. When I wore heals I towered him.. my best friend libra is a bit taller 5'11" that works.. as I am 5'4"..
perrrrrrrfect 😉

Thursday was a day for most librans I feel. Things got a new turn in my life too... Expecting reports to flow in from nic.

my LIbran is 6'5...want some of his height?? lol....but then again I am tall at 5'9...nice to finally be able to wear heels hehehehe

thelibran....that's interesting to know...perhaps an awakening for all Librans!! wooohoooo there is hope yet LOL

Chatz.. your dude is tall!! wow..that is a lot of dude to handle.. your a good one.

he sure is but is proportioned well - and muscley 🙂 mmmm mmmm!!!

hmmm sounds good.. my libra is husky.. grrr!! makes me just want to bite him.. my teeth care itchin'.. 🙂

are itchin... are itchin.. see I need to go to bed

sleep tight 🙂

Scott Wolf

oh and HOW FUNNY...Scott Wolf was born June 4th and the guy that looks like him was born June 5th!

Freaky...spooky...

HP.. Yes I do know who he is.. he is a cutie..

K.. ya'll.. got some juicy stuff going on with my libra. Today he called after getting my email..the HP inspired email.. sent the two jokes you posted, and he was shocked.. which is always a good thing since Libra's like to act like they can never be shocked.. anyway, we chatted blah blah a bit and then I told him he better get a girlfriend soon or he is going to be in trouble.. ok the convo:
Him: what kind of trouble
Me: good/bad trouble with me
Him: hold up so how long is this trouble going to last exactly
Me: oh for about 25 - 30 years
Him: ok...I'm gonna get online and find this hotel?
Me: hotel?
Him: yeah, I am looking for the hotel I stayed at the last time I was there
he continued for a while plugging in dates and looking for hotels in this area..
Me: what makes me think you are going to come here for my bday, you made a phone/movie date with me several months ago, and I am still waiting on that..
Him: I told you that you are going to have to take the lead on stuff like that, you know I am shy
Me: I tried that remember
Him: Ok, tell you what, lets set it up right now, when do you want to do it
Me: Soon, like Monday
Him: Ok, done, so what are we going to watch..
Me: Think about it and I will call you tonight before you go to work
Him: Ok
Me: You better get a girl soon.. I am serious
Him: I don't have any prospects for a girlfriend
Me: You have a harem of women waiting for you..
Him: No I don't

He made a date for us to both watch a movie together over the phone back in November.. said he was going to send me the popcorn and movie and all I would have to do was pop it in the same time he did and we would cry together, laugh together, or fall asleep together...
I was so excited when he said this to me, our first official date, then he never followed through.. poo, so now it is supposed to happen Monday.

Back to the other chic..he is trying to play the dumb roll with me for some strange reason. He knows I know about this chic, so I am not sure why he is not mentioning her. He told me he wants me to start thinking outside the box and doing different things. I told him that is what I am trying to do with him, something different. He said, "your still married right so when do you think you will be ready to date or have a boyfriend", I said, "May or June maybe, once I get myself together and file for the divorce". he said "ok".

Things are really speeding up .. a lot. He is being more open about his feelings and is DEFINITELY making an effort to follow through with things. Not sure what he wants to happen, if it is just sex or what, but "whatever" is going to happen in the next few weeks.

I am keeping my fingers crossed that all will be a ?go? after my bday!😉 You all have gotten me to this point.. We would NEVER be here without your advice and support.. one day I will tell him about you all, my other cyber fam? and that will be in about 20 years from now, so no worries.. I'm not trying to get busted here😉 I am sure I will need you all in the future if we do get this started.

OMG Brats he is so like my Libran with the shyness thing and the coyness......you're in babe....enjoy every moment 🙂

"Thursday was a day for most librans I feel. Things got a new turn in my life too... Expecting reports to flow in from nic."

Yeah, the end of the week started to take a good turn for me as well. On Thursday in fact I started getting seductive text messages from a female friend of mine who i had a little bit of a fling with earlier last year. We are still friends, she lives in LA and has no desire to move out of state and I have none to move back to Ca. So, things kinda went down hill and she was PISSED at the time. So I was a little shocked to get scantily clad pictures on my phone of her lying in bed. Wierd. The Libra girl and I are supposed to get together at the end of the month, honestly though I have my doubts about her ability to follow through, she is here then there. You all know how that goes.

Then, on Friday night I had a couple of co-workers over for drinks and what not, one of them was a manager. He was talking about something, exactly I can't remember but the sentance "Well, we don't have to worry about that, being managment and all." My eyebrow raised, as I am not managment, and he followed up with "Keep that between us until your meeting with the owner next Friday." So it looks like I'm about to get promoted. I have been jockying for a Project Director position for a little while now. All in all good things. Oh, also getting back into serious martial arts training has been on my mind recently and I was approached by another martial artist/friend who is putting together a team for training for MMA style events like the UFC and he asked if I would be interrested. I will have to think on that a bit. Everything has been stagnant on all fronts and then Thursday specifically things turned for the better.

Aqua,
I recommend for this rendevous you bring your Libra guy back to your place. It will have less of a "hook-up" vibe to it, and kinda rienforces your desire to be closer to him on a personal and romantic level. Hotels are for sex. Homes are for getting closer to someone.......and lots of sex :p

Chatz.. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much but I am kinda excited.. we will see how things go Monday and then I will have more confidence about the bday thing..

Nic.. thank you for the advice about the house.. I will see if I can work it out.. he is a bit aprehensive due to my ex.. he thinks he may come around and I can understand his fear.. I want him to be comfortable and not feel tense the whole time thinking someone will stop by..

I told him we will go to dinner with my girls, he said he wants to take me to a sushi bar, so we will see what happens..

I will keep you all posted..🙂 🙂 🙂 *all smiles now on brats face* I just hope this chic does not pop up again.

Good luck HP on surgery...

I had lunch with the Libra #2 - 10/15 - same day as my ex...He seemed nice, but for the first time. I wasn't attracted to him... I guess there is a first time for everything. Anyway I ma supposed to meet Libra #1 - 10/11 - same day as LS this week sometime for dinner. I know, this is bad... I keep getting snagged by these guys.

On the other hand I am very lonely lately and kind of wanting to stay to myself most of the time... Weird...

QS, had the surgery last Friday and I'm doing good. Good luck with your Libra situation. I went out Friday and Saturday night with the Gemini, aka, Scott Wolf look-a-like. He calls when he says he will...it's so weird.

Wow - maybe Thursday WAS the day for Libras! Everyone's got a story. Here's my update:

After my Libra wanting to take space to deal w/ his emotional stuff, I ended up at his place Thurs. Basically, he lives in the town I work in, and I live about 15 miles away. I went from work to drinks w/ a friend and meanwhile the weather got really bad and driving home was out of the question. I was conflicted about calling him or showing up, but I knew he'd be happy to have me safe rather than in the ditch somewhere. Anyway, his phone battery was dead, so I didn't get in touch and I showed up at the door. He had a friend over (female) and I very easily could've lost it, but I didn't b/c he had told me much about her before and I wanted to meet her anyways. SO, I think he was maybe expecting me to be jealous b/c he's seen a little bit of my insecurity, but I've pretty well worked through all of that.

SO the three of us hung out, had fun, and she left shortly after. I said I was glad to have the chance to meet her, sorry for barging in (which he was ok with) and it's great to see you again.

Well, he was incredibly affectionate, we talked for some hours, he shared everything he's been going through, even cried a little bit and I just hugged and supported him. It was a GREAT night for us. New level of closeness met (at least in my mind). So after a week of not wanting to see me, he wanted to spend the weekend together. Friday night his place, from his place to mine on Saturday. Fireplace, music, dinner, conversation, bed. Today we laid on my sofa all day very playfully touching, etc. and then, HUGE SHOCK to me coming from a LIBRA, he had a direct conversation with me about the direction of our sex life. We've had a great connection on that front and he wanted to know what else I would like as well as telling me some things he would like for me to do. I was shocked at the directness....prior to this, he has his way of hinting physically or showing me what he's enjoying, etc.

I don't know, maybe that means nothing, but it was SO MUCH fun for me to be able to have a direct conversation with him about this. I have brought it up a few times, asking questions and such, and he didn't respond well to my direct approach so I started to just try to read him.... hmmmmm.....this one will always keep me on my toes.

Last, we started planning a last minute trip to take together around V-day.

So, things seem to be going well for everything having

ammorocks,

I am glad things are finally comming around for you. By what you wrote it sounds like things are comming together nicely, and realistically. We don't show our emotions to people unless we really like them so the fact that he showed you his is a pretty good sign. I was in a similar situation once as far as having the girl I was seeing show up unexpected while I had another close female friend visiting and I must say you handled it PERFECTLY.

*** Me: You better get a girl soon.. I am serious

This is saying you just want him for sex. Is that what you want?

*** He knows I know about this chic, so I am not sure why he is not mentioning her.

Because he is interested in you.

*** "your still married right so when do you think you will be ready to date or have a boyfriend",

He is interested in you and wants to do things right.

*** It will have less of a "hook-up" vibe to it, and kinda rienforces your desire to be closer to him on a personal and romantic level. Hotels are for sex. Homes are for getting closer to someone.......and lots of sex :p

Agree!

*** we will go to dinner with my girls,

why? keep him to yourself.

*** he is a bit aprehensive due to my ex.. he thinks he may come around and I can understand his fear

what is it with aqua's and hang on exs? 😉

Good luck on your dinner date QS.

Thursday wasn't really a turn around day. Friday and Saturday, however, were.

The Aqua looks promising. I feel all secure like I am wrapped up in a blanket. Very nice feeling. I forgot how nice that feeling was/is after a year and a half of being alone/casual dating. We will see where it goes but I am cautiously optimistic.

I'm so excited for all of you with your prospects!

I am cautiously optimistic HP. I have been disappointed by men I like a number of times now.

We play a lot of word games which is fun. Admittance becomes ahhh mittens. 🙂 I worry if he is clever enough for me, as I have had to explain a number of things to him, but I am trying to remember that I don't always know what things mean extra. (not to say he is stupid, at all. he is very bright just not sure if he is at my level bright.) Time will tell. Right now I am just enjoying the feeling of adored.

I am cautiously optimistic HP. I have been disappointed by men I like a number of times now.

We play a lot of word games which is fun. Admittance becomes ahhh mittens. 🙂 I worry if he is clever enough for me, as I have had to explain a number of things to him, but I am trying to remember that I don't always know what things mean extra. (not to say he is stupid, at all. he is very bright just not sure if he is at my level bright.) Time will tell. Right now I am just enjoying the feeling of adored.

ooophs sorry about the double posting.

I also worry if I could ever marry him. Which is always the stumbling block for me to get past. If I can't see a life together, I can't be with that person. I am not sure what a life together with him, would look like. Hard to know if I should invest more time.

Also, I expect the Leo to pop up anytime. If he does, this will be a quandry for me.