Well, Well, Well (Page 3)

I agree with you LS....this goes into the "Little Problems" box lol..

I don't know man, I do the right thing and the person who is with me needs to understand what this entails.

To put it into perspective I was dating a girl a while ago "sag" who got pissed because I had to cancel a date at the last minute because of work. We had just gotten word of a fugitive making a run for it and we had to drop everything, get the team together and as a result I cancelled within an hour of when I was supposed to be there.

She was pissed, wanted me to make it up to her and all that jazz. I told her to call me back when she had gotten over it. I mean, gimme a break she knows me, knows what my work entails and if she can't handle it she can take a walk and spare me the running of the mouth to boot.

This situation is different becuase it was an emergency, but they are still somewhat similar.

I think the point is if your dating a libra situations like this are going to come up where they are going to do the right thing in their mind weather or not you agree.....it superceedes feelings. And it sucks because they would RATHER spend the time with you but they have an obligation to uphold. And while your upset that they chose it over you they are upset because you can't see that they 1. want to be with you 2. your asking them to drop other things for them and that creates the same situation for us, just in the reverse.

LS...I know what your saying....this is a big thing and necessary to see eye to eye on when dating a Libra. Someone who can say "This sucks but I understand.".

Alcheme is right too, it needs to be adressed, but I think it is being approached currently from the wrong angle.

"I heart Gray's Anatomy....anyone watch that show?"

I have seen it a few times. It acutally seemed pretty good, but I am more of a Battlestar Galactica kind of girl (the remade one on the Sci-Fi channel, though the old one has its nostalgia factor)...

"I think the point is if your dating a libra situations like this are going to come up where they are going to do the right thing in their mind weather or not you agree....."

This is true...case in point for me was the baseball game invitation with my boyfriend. BUT I addressed it with him and I don't regret doing that.

nicodemus: but I think it is being approached currently from the wrong angle.

I agree

Ok ok ok ok....I think this provides the clearest perspective on the different views.

Say Alcheme and I had this special date planned and I was all excited about it. Putting a lot of effort in setting things up right so the night was just perfect. Then she calls and says "OMG I totally forgot, my step sisters b-day is on that day and I promised I would be there, I need to go to that instead."

My response would be.

"Aww damn, I was really looking foreward to it. Is there anything you need to do last minute to get ready for it? Wev'e got time, it's not big deal."

This is the difference of thinking. Life happens, roll with it.

Life happens, nic'. Chatz doesn't have to put up with his malarkey over and over again.

Nic, your points are valid, they truly are. But how far do you go to forgive Alcheme or in this case, Chatz's boy if it's happened before?

Wasn't this guy doing this same stuff before he committed to her? Because he finally committed to her, does that mean he gets a clean slate? I don't think so.

"Say Alcheme and I had this special date planned and I was all excited about it. Putting a lot of effort in setting things up right so the night was just perfect. Then she calls and says "OMG I totally forgot, my step sisters b-day is on that day and I promised I would be there, I need to go to that instead.""

I see what you are saying, BUT as HP pointed out, Chatz's Libra has done this consistently to her, and didn't offer up a nice explanation (he just TOLD her). New relationships require a little extra effort, especially ones that are coming from the perspective where one person has put in all the effort (and the other has not put in virtually any). It is not that what he did was necessarily wrong objectively, but, personally, I believe that what he did from the perspective of their budding relationship and his past actions is wrong. Or, more specifically, how he did it...


Oh, and to correct your above scenario, you would be going with me. In my family, everyone is family... 🙂

"Nic, your points are valid, they truly are. But how far do you go to forgive Alcheme or in this case, Chatz's boy if it's happened before?

Wasn't this guy doing this same stuff before he committed to her? Because he finally committed to her, does that mean he gets a clean slate? I don't think so."

Yeah but before he was commited to her is a completely different story, in that he WASNT COMMITTED to her. How far I would go would be dictated by what my end goal is. If it is to create a long term mutually bennificial goal I would go a long way, and I would also be firm on my stance as well.

You all have valid points too, but I am not trying to pound it in that MY way is the RIGHT way, I am trying to pound in how HE is going to SEE it. So that you she can still do what she needs to to stay true to herself but avoid making it worse at the same time.

I am still operating off her loving and wanting to be with him and make it work....that is the big picture and where the focus needs to be. Treat the circumstances with that in mind.

"Life happens, nic'. Chatz doesn't have to put up with his malarkey over and over again."

I am not insisting she does. I am insisting she look at the situation carefully because a lot of people hopped on the "negativity train" which if acted on isn't going to help anyone and will create a lot of unhappy hindsight on her part.

"This shit is chess, it aint checkers!"
-Training Day

* "Didn't he claim that he forgot about this bday party? If these kids (adults) were so close and dear to him, then he would have known about the party well in advance and might have suggested a different date with Chatz, ie Sunday night instead of Saturday."

I don't remember all dates all the time. Chances are he was excited about the prospect of dinner with Chatz and forgot until later.

""This shit is chess, it aint checkers!""

LOL...i had to read this 3 times because I kept reading it as "This shit is cheese, it ain't crackers"

I kept saying WTF....I must go get some lunch.

Chatz put up with his malarkey before he committed so what's different now, people don't change so easily, she shouldn't have sent out the message that she was willing to put up with it EVER at any point and time through out the relationship. Thats not fair to him, I'm not taking sides, clearly this is a situation that can be resolved without her having to leave him, but I think she needs to reflect on the things she put up with before they made the decision to be exclusive, chatz had huge amounts of patience with this guy so why should this be any different.

i'm with nic on this...there is a different way of seeing this issue without the drama of ending a potentially great relationship.

Tiki,
What's your current relationship status?

Single, attached, casual dating?

"Yeah but before he was commited to her is a completely different story, in that he WASNT COMMITTED to her."

I think that is the point most are trying to make. Before, he wasn't committed to her or wanting a relationship, and he did this time and again. Now, he says he is committed to her and wants a relationship, yet his actions don't seem to have changed. As they say, actions speak louder than words... His words say that he has changed (or is attempting to), but his actions do not.

Now, this could have just been unfortuitous timing, but if he was truly trying to attempt at a relationship with her (where he knows he has fallen far short before), wouldn't he atleast offer some sort of explanation and apology for cancelling on the obligation that he had already committed to with her?

"Chatz put up with his malarkey before he committed so what's different now, people don't change so easily, she shouldn't have sent out the message that she was willing to put up with it EVER at any point and time through out the relationship."

Before this point, they did not have a relationship. It was pretty much just FWB. This is the first time he has done in it the context of their new relationship that he has decided that he was ready for. Which is why a lot of women are saying that she does need to say something now...

* I agree with you LS....this goes into the "Little Problems" box

Agreed!

* I don't know man, I do the right thing and the person who is with me needs to understand what this entails.

agreed!

* "Aww damn, I was really looking foreward to it. Is there anything you need to do last minute to get ready for it? Wev'e got time, it's not big deal."

* This is the difference of thinking. Life happens, roll with it

Agreed! Agreed!

Single, attached, casual dating?

A little bit of all depending on what day it is and how I'm feeling. (:

all jokes aside, I do have a significant other and he's yummy

I seriously don't get what all the hoopla is about.

The guy has other plans. Not a big deal. Re-schedule. You can reschedule the dinner, you can't reschedule the family birthday party.

Being cool with shit is a pretty attractive quality. Trust that he has the best of intentions.

"I think that is the point most are trying to make. Before, he wasn't committed to her or wanting a relationship, and he did this time and again. Now, he says he is committed to her and wants a relationship, yet his actions don't seem to have changed."

I get that. My point is missed. All the baggage going up to the point of having a relationship should be unloaded as the relationship started.

She is just as quilty as he is for her feelings because she is carrying all of that "experience" into something new.

Experience is only used properly when it is applied in your advantage. Think progress, not holding on to this bad moment in time. (CARDINAL)

LOL, anyone else notice all of the FIXED signs are all pissed off and wanting to hold on to it and all of the CARDINAL signs are like WTF, whats the big deal....onward!

* All the baggage going up to the point of having a relationship should be unloaded as the relationship started.

Agreed! If you don't let go of the resentment, there is no chance of this working out.

I believe lovers are friends.

Treat this like your best friend. If your friend had to cancel because of a family b-day, you would totally understand. Your lover deserves the same respect.

Not quite right Nic b/c I'm a fixed sign and I totally agree with you and LS's perspectives on this issue.

Is Taurus a fixed sign?

Oh wow, my bday is this weekend! 🙂

"I get that. My point is missed."

I didn't miss your point. I got it. I am just saying that there is validity to the other side as well... I thought Libras were the ones that liked looking at both sides of an argument... 😉

"LOL, anyone else notice all of the FIXED signs are all pissed off and wanting to hold on to it and all of the CARDINAL signs are like WTF, whats the big deal....onward!"

I am not all pissed off. I merely see that there is justification for her hurt feelings, and that he could have perhaps handled the situation a little better. And, I think tiki also throws your theory off, cause I think she was agreeing with you guys. And, Tom would, too (seeing that he is cardinal and seems to not have the go with the flow attitude in this situation)...

Perhaps, instead, it is an air sign thing?

But, the amusing question would be...What would the MUTABLE signs be doing in this situation? LOL!

Yup, the difference is beautiful... Individuality is key. Hmmm, funny although the fixed and cardinals have differences in opinion, it still looks like there is a romantic connection that they agree on, especially on this board 😉 I know- off the subject right— Keepin it light!!!

"Treat this like your best friend. If your friend had to cancel because of a family b-day, you would totally understand. Your lover deserves the same respect."

That is a very good point.

"Is Taurus a fixed sign?"

LOL! Did you really need to ask that question?!?!? Haha! (yes)


"Oh wow, my bday is this weekend!"

Happy early birthday! My other sister's is tomorrow. Is yours the 28th or 29th?

***But, the amusing question would be...What would the MUTABLE signs be doing in this situation? LOL✨**

Remaining mute... LOL!!!

29th

Blah, I AM a bull after all. so i am fixed in my opinions...so ok, i'm fixed.

Alcheme

I totally understand WHY Chatz has hurt feelings. Totally understand. She was really looking forward to their date. She put a lot of thought and effort into it. She was excited.

Unfortunetly, he had to cancelled so she is feeling hurt, and rejected. She is feeling resentful and jealous and angry and disappointed. Everyone would.

She is also upset because she thought finally he was going to put her firt. She is hurt that he didn't/isn't, in her mind, because in her mind, she has earned it!

It isn't that we don't understand how she feels. We totally do. We completely understand.

We just see the other side and why she shouldn't be so upset.

He has other plans that can't be changed. They can reshedule and have a fabulous time another time.

Chatz, he knows he disappointed you. Let him make it up to you.

"I didn't miss your point. I got it. I am just saying that there is validity to the other side as well.."

Yeah but you see....It theres not 😉

Tikki is the odd man out but not really being an Aqua she sees the bigger picture and objective RIGHT (our side) and wrong (their side).

....And atom has a not so secret crush on Chatz so his opinion is swayed. *ducks

Nice throw, now I have your shoe...watcha gonna do now? 😛

*Ducks again

Happy Early Birthday! What are you and your Libra planning on doing for it? Or, can you not repeat it cause little kiddies may be surfing?!? 😉

* "Treat this like your best friend. If your friend had to cancel because of a family b-day, you would totally understand. Your lover deserves the same respect."

* That is a very good point.

Merci woman! 🙂

"We just see the other side and why she shouldn't be so upset."

Oh, I agree. I was trying to point out the other side of the other side all along. 🙂

"Yeah but you see....It theres not "

I see what your are saying, but....you're wrong.


LOL! Sorry, just had to say it... 🙂

"Nice throw, now I have your shoe...watcha gonna do now?"

Pull down your pants and smack you on the ass with a towel... Watcha gonna do now?!?

We're going to eat dinner with a few friend on a pier beachfront restaurant here on the coast. He's taking me to see a comedian i like on the 3rd and he's taking me to lunch on my birthday....oh and taking me to a museum exhibit that i want to see...not sure when we're doing the museum thing though.

friends*

"We're going to eat dinner with a few friend on a pier beachfront restaurant here on the coast. He's taking me to see a comedian i like on the 3rd and he's taking me to lunch on my birthday....oh and taking me to a museum exhibit that i want to see...not sure when we're doing the museum thing though"

That sounds like a lot of fun!! You two sound busy, but hopefully not too busy to be "busy"... 😉

Atom and Chatz sitting in the tree......
........

Chatz should just move to the states and search for the source of the Big Bang, as the theory states.....hehehhe.

Yes please. Just shag already.

Thxs!

let's start a fund to get Chatz here.

We can call it the Boom Boom Zoom Fund

All joking aside, the real question is .... do I get to keep all the shoes everyone threw at me?

Yes, you get to keep them. I'll send you some Odor Eaters as my contribution.

**He has other plans that can't be changed. They can reshedule and have a fabulous time another time.**

Sorry, those plans can be changed or should I say altered where everyone will be happy. Isn't that the point of a Libra - everyone is happy?

***Atom and Chatz sitting in the tree......****

Atom trying to be k-i-s-s-i-n-g - Chatz, looking down at te libra under the tree looking into space scratching his head.


***Yes please. Just shag already.***

Thxs✨**


Oh, LS, the stubborn Leo doesn't listen, I am sure Atom will but some extra fire under her bottom... LOL!!!

huh?

How can he alter a family birthday party? For a dinner date? That is completely unreasonable.

The kid and a 21 yr old is still a kid in my book ... can't change the date of their birthday. Think about how you would feel if your parent said ... "yeah ... Sorry, I can't make your birthday dinner. I have a date."

The amount of crap that would stir up? Crazy!

Seriously, just reschedule.

* Isn't that the point of a Libra - everyone is happy?

Everyone doesn't mean just the person you are dating. There are a number of people involved not just Chatz.

Just reschedule. Let him make it up to her. = everyone happy.

***Everyone doesn't mean just the person you are dating. There are a number of people involved not just Chatz.***

My point exactly. Like see the grown kids earlier that day spend some b-day time and do dinner with Chatz still that night. Even if he was running a little late. He could call her and tell her. Again, grown kids will understand. It just seems (may not be the case) that is more of the ex's doing than the kids anyway.