@firebunny
14 Years10,000+ Posts
Balance between Humility and Self-confidence
Hi Tiz!
That's a strange way of doing it. I wouldn't go out of my comfort zone all the time just to keep humility. And sometimes doing so gives one more confidence.
More details, man!
I wouldn't dare risk myself at failing anything (at least on a frequent basis). I just don't want to disappoint. Lol. I try hard as much as I can if I'm on a rather new and uncharted venture. To be honest, law school is way beyond my comfort zone. I'm the kind of person who does good in figures and patterns so I was practically a math genius back in high school... and I don't memorize stuff (like people do in law school)... but I still went to law school. The first two years were extremely hard, got 2 failing grades... but eventually, I shined in later years... getting the highest grades in some subjects. I failed the bar exam last year by a strand of the hair but that was because I had health problems. Now in my 2nd year of review, things are going smoothly (I'm hoping that I'll make it good). So yes, bottom line is, going out of one's comfort zone gives you humility (or INSECURITY in extreme cases) at first but when you challenge yourself, you end up victorious always; thus, you gain self-confidence.
Posted by exo
i have a big, healthy ego, but i don't act out.i don't need to flaunt, flex, or prove myself. let your swag speak for you.
More details please? Do you feel comfortable about yourself? I think you do.
Posted by Dastard
Humility: a modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness.Antonyms: arrogance, boldness, confidence, assertiveness ,egoism, pretentiousness, pride, self-importance.
Boldness, confidence, assertiveness, some egoism and pride are great. Humility (useless), arrogance (useless and disgusting), pretentiousness (useless and disgusting), self-importance (bad if it borders on delusion).
For me, humility is attractive... but you need self-confidence too. Balancing these two out is hard for me!
Posted by Dastard
Humility: a modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness.Antonyms: arrogance, boldness, confidence, assertiveness ,egoism, pretentiousness, pride, self-importance.
Boldness, confidence, assertiveness, some egoism and pride are great. Humility (useless), arrogance (useless and disgusting), pretentiousness (useless and disgusting), self-importance (bad if it borders on delusion).
For me, humility is attractive... but you need self-confidence too. Balancing these two out is hard for me!
Do you have Venus in Virgo or in the 6th House? Or Venus in Pisces, 12th house or in aspect to Neptune?
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Rising Sign is Taurus 20 degrees. Venus is in Libra 4 degrees. So I surmise, it's in the 5th House. I don't know why but I find humble people attractive.
Posted by firebunny
More details, man!I wouldn't dare risk myself at failing anything (at least on a frequent basis). I just don't want to disappoint. Lol. I try hard as much as I can if I'm on a rather new and uncharted venture. To be honest, law school is way beyond my comfort zone. I'm the kind of person who does good in figures and patterns so I was practically a math genius back in high school... and I don't memorize stuff (like people do in law school)... but I still went to law school. The first two years were extremely hard, got 2 failing grades... but eventually, I shined in later years... getting the highest grades in some subjects. I failed the bar exam last year by a strand of the hair but that was because I had health problems. Now in my 2nd year of review, things are going smoothly (I'm hoping that I'll make it good). So yes, bottom line is, going out of one's comfort zone gives you humility (or INSECURITY in extreme cases) at first but when you challenge yourself, you end up victorious always; thus, you gain self-confidence.
Exactly.
I have sources of security to draw upon when I need an ego or confidence boost. I know I do at least 3-4 things to an excellent standard. There's no problem there, but there's also no challenge. It's always best to set new challenges.
Yes, I do that too, man. But not because I want to keep myself grounded. I do it to gain more self-confidence. But when I fail, it only pushes me harder, as what happened to me in law school.
Failure is natural. You have to train to failure in order to recover and grow.
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Failure sucks big time though... if it's something that's very important to you... like in my case, it was devastating to have failed in the Bar exam... especially since many people looked up to me. They say they didn't expect I'd fail. Then my mum lost faith and confidence in me too. She has become overly strict on me like I don't do nice things now and as if I will never pass the exams anymore. What she doesn't know is that failure motivates me. I'm studying really hard these past four months.
Uggghhh blockquote failed.
Posted by Solitude
Lemme get all Yoda up in this bish.Humility is an ego state that implies cultural status... which shouldn't be important to you. Confidence isn't about loving yourself, it's about self-acceptance.
Drop the humility, because it's the biggest tool to self deprecate. And start accepting yourself by killing your ego.
I don't understand you. What language are you using? But by the way, you look beautiful.
I was just kidding. I understood your words. But I'm kind of confused though. Especially with the last sentence. @_@
I'm really getting more and more confused. Maybe I need a Cancer Mooner to sort things out. LOL.
Posted by andstrollbot
Confidence= 1st TierHumility= What 2nd Tiers show in the presence of 1st Tiers
Do you think I'm humble, dude?! 😛
Posted by firebunny
I'm really getting more and more confused. Maybe I need a Cancer Mooner to sort things out. LOL.Well, what's confusing you?
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Solitude's post. I don't understand her. But she's beautiful though. 😛
Posted by andstrollbot
Confidence= 1st TierHumility= What 2nd Tiers show in the presence of 1st Tiers
Do you think I'm humble, dude?! 😛
Not when you're talking to yourself.
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You are as beautiful as you are confusing. What a mystery! @_@
Posted by firebunny
How do you do it?You're asking because you don't accept yourself. There's this sense of inadequacy in you, and with it arises the belief that you're burdened with some sort of personal deficit.
I've accepted myself for who I am back in 2013 when I started learning astrology. I gained self-confidence too. But somehow, I just don't know how to keep myself humble when being praised. It's hard.
Don't fear any rejection for being yourself. Relax and accept the fact that you need nothing outside of yourself to feel complete. You don't need to go to anyone or anything for validation, because every attempt to do that only confirms and reinforces the continuing need for it. You get your hit(s), and then you end up needing more of it, until you can only really feel good when you see yourself reflected back exactly the way you want from others, the world, what you do, and so on.
If you really want something to do, then go do those things that normally shake your confidence, and keep doing them without worrying about results. We learn by doing. Eventually it'll be no big deal, and you'll see it for what it is (and for what most things we worry about actually are): no big deal.
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I always do things to prove something to myself. I like challenges, and along with it, the need to get the desired results. I'm always like that. Virgo Mars. Take that away from me and I'll be lifeless. I need motivation. I always go for the gold.
Posted by firebunny
I was just kidding. I understood your words. But I'm kind of confused though. Especially with the last sentence. @_@What part of the last sentence? On how to kill your ego?
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Yes.
Posted by Solitude
Lemme get all Yoda up in this bish.Humility is an ego state that implies cultural status... which shouldn't be important to you. Confidence isn't about loving yourself, it's about self-acceptance.
Drop the humility, because it's the biggest tool to self deprecate. And start accepting yourself by killing your ego.
Ego is there to work with us. Killing it implies the opposite of self-acceptance.
The ego only works against us. It's the arrogance and self-importance that you kill by destroying your ego.
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I think what you're referring to as ego is actually the super ego; that, I agree, works against us.
Posted by Solitude
Lemme get all Yoda up in this bish.Humility is an ego state that implies cultural status... which shouldn't be important to you. Confidence isn't about loving yourself, it's about self-acceptance.
Drop the humility, because it's the biggest tool to self deprecate. And start accepting yourself by killing your ego.
Ego is there to work with us. Killing it implies the opposite of self-acceptance.
The ego only works against us. It's the arrogance and self-importance that you kill by destroying your ego.
I think what you're referring to as ego is actually the super ego; that, I agree, works against us.
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That's new to me. Can you define super ego and ego? I never thought there's such a thing as ego. @_@
Posted by Solitude
Lemme get all Yoda up in this bish.Humility is an ego state that implies cultural status... which shouldn't be important to you. Confidence isn't about loving yourself, it's about self-acceptance.
Drop the humility, because it's the biggest tool to self deprecate. And start accepting yourself by killing your ego.
This.
I see humility as a form of self-delusion. To be humble is to think lowly of oneself in comparison to others, it is a self-limiting quality. Useless.
What's your thoughts on modesty?
It depends from where it stems from. If it comes from a place of low self-esteem, shame and undeservedness then it has to go.
If it's a conscious and calculated behavior it can be very useful in many situations.
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I agree to this. But sometimes it's better if modesty/humility is genuine.
self confidence is knowing youre able to do things
humility is knowing youre not the best thing since sliced bread
Posted by firebunny
How do you do it?You're asking because you don't accept yourself. There's this sense of inadequacy in you, and with it arises the belief that you're burdened with some sort of personal deficit.
I've accepted myself for who I am back in 2013 when I started learning astrology. I gained self-confidence too. But somehow, I just don't know how to keep myself humble when being praised. It's hard.
Praise is nice, but see it for what it is and what it does to you: you get some, and you want more. You develop a dependency on it. And for some folks this works for a while. If you're praised on a regular basis then you've got it made... until you're suddenly not getting it. Take note of the way you feel then, and see praise for what it is: positive acknowledgement that happens in physical space and time, that is, externally. ALL things external to you are changeful and fleeting. Does it make sense to depend on them for your sense of worth? Enjoy it, appreciate it, and be thankful – praise given honestly is a gift. But don't stake your self-worth on it.
This particular question won't be solved in a few internet posts. It's something that you'll come to know in time, and you can help the process by thinking about it – that is, by inquiring into the nature of the feelings that you want to get from things that are outside yourself. Just be patient while doing it.
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I don't need praises, seraph. I know my self-worth. I just feel awkward being praised 'cause I don't want to appear "arrogant." I want to be humble at all times. But it's hard when people praise you 'cause you just don't know what to say anymore. Eventually, they'll see my BS (trying too hard to be humble). That's my dilemma today: how to be humble.
Posted by firebunny
I was just kidding. I understood your words. But I'm kind of confused though. Especially with the last sentence. @_@What part of the last sentence? On how to kill your ego?
Yes.
That sort of thing is hard to fathom for a Taurus, who stereotypically is always going after greatness. Killing your ego isn't a rational process and there is no finality to it. It's nearly impossible to explain but you kill your ego by finding peace in your insignificance.
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I found peace in my insignificance. I learned that I should put Jesus at the center of my life so I don't have to be so self-centered anymore. He made me realize that it's okay to be insignificant and that it is even more comfortable being insignificant than being someone great.
Posted by Ophiuchus
self confidence is knowing youre able to do thingshumility is knowing youre not the best thing since sliced bread
I agree to the first. To the second, I don't. I just think that comparing yourself to others can be self-deprecating. You need to realize the wonderful things you possess and embrace your uniqueness.
Posted by bumboklatt
I was just thinking about this and wake up to see it on DXP lolI have to downplay myself sometimes cause I have a hard time being fake.
IDK about being humble but if I'm being REAL then I don't have to humble myself cause thats just an insult to the other person
I say things that surprise people and I am positive and impulsive around fun people.
If I don't regulate myself I end up doing crazy things
That's probably the biggest inner conflict I have
We have the same problem.
I hope either P-Angel or CC comes over. They're often spot on. I need their rudeness; I'm ready to face them.
I don't need praises, seraph. I know my self-worth. I just feel awkward being praised 'cause I don't want to appear "arrogant." I want to be humble at all times. But it's hard when people praise you 'cause you just don't know what to say anymore. Eventually, they'll see my BS (trying too hard to be humble). That's my dilemma today: how to be humble.
You're over-thinking it, bunneh. Is there an actual problem here, or are your just being self-conscious without any reason for it?
Practice showing appreciation for praise and then forgetting about it. Just go do what's next. Don't spend time thinking about what just happened.
Smile, say "thank you" and then continue to do whatever it is you're doing, or continue the conversation, but inside, let it go. Practice letting go. It takes practice and it takes some effort to put your attention on this. You have to be earnest about it. Eventually there won't be any need to worry about praise or humility.
No one can do this for you, and exchanging words about this can only go so far. Look at what the words are pointing to, and in time it will become clear.
And really, this is something you'll probably drop anyway as you get older. These big self-concerns naturally change with the passage of time in most cases.
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Thank you. I just find humble people very attractive. I want to be just like them (only in that regard!). But maybe I just can't. I just have to be myself and I just have to show my genuine reactions... but will it turn them off? @_@
I found peace in my insignificance. I learned that I should put Jesus at the center of my life so I don't have to be so self-centered anymore. He made me realize that it's okay to be insignificant and that it is even more comfortable being insignificant than being someone great.
Then keep doing this. You're on your way.
It'll come on its own. You'll be humble just as a matter of course, without even thinking about it.
Humility isn't really your problem here, or how to "be" a certain way. It's trusting that you'll do justice to the person you want to be. But you'll only really achieve this is if you quit focusing on yourself to the point of unnecessary self-consciousness.
Just keep focusing honestly on your faith (and don't begrudge others theirs), and the rest will follow.
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Thank you. Especially the bold part. 🙂
Posted by bumboklatt
I was just thinking about this and wake up to see it on DXP lolI have to downplay myself sometimes cause I have a hard time being fake.
IDK about being humble but if I'm being REAL then I don't have to humble myself cause thats just an insult to the other person
I say things that surprise people and I am positive and impulsive around fun people.
If I don't regulate myself I end up doing crazy things
That's probably the biggest inner conflict I have
We have the same problem.
I hope either P-Angel or CC comes over. They're often spot on. I need their rudeness; I'm ready to face them.
hahahhahaha good way to start the day
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Lmao. I know right? 😛
Posted by firebunny
I was just kidding. I understood your words. But I'm kind of confused though. Especially with the last sentence. @_@What part of the last sentence? On how to kill your ego?
Yes.
That sort of thing is hard to fathom for a Taurus, who stereotypically is always going after greatness. Killing your ego isn't a rational process and there is no finality to it. It's nearly impossible to explain but you kill your ego by finding peace in your insignificance.
I found peace in my insignificance. I learned that I should put Jesus at the center of my life so I don't have to be so self-centered anymore. He made me realize that it's okay to be insignificant and that it is even more comfortable being insignificant than being someone great.
That's not finding peace in your insignificance. That's replacing it with a warped religious mindset.
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Let's not argue about religion.
But somehow, you may not agree with me, the feeling is liberating...
Thanks, SensitiveBlues for the comment... but I love law. I just didn't like the fact that it has no Math. But then I'm a CPA too so I will probably mix the two. Incidentally, History is my other love... so placing me in law school might be a good idea after all.
Posted by firebunny
But somehow, you may not agree with me, the feeling is liberating...So your religion is liberating because it's a convenient belief system and you aren't bothered to do any critical thinking because it’s easier as it is now.
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Let's not talk about religion.
Posted by SensitiveBlues
And why should you be humble? Don't be a braggart, but if you know you're good at something own it!Don't dim your shine for anybody, praise is good! It means you're doing something right
Thanks, CC. 🙂
Posted by SensitiveBlues
All this humble talk really angers me. We are all very significant! I will never tell myself I'm not.This thread is depressing. I'm out
You're funny, CC. LOL.
Posted by firebunny
Thanks, SensitiveBlues for the comment... but I love law. I just didn't like the fact that it has no Math. But then I'm a CPA too so I will probably mix the two. Incidentally, History is my other love... so placing me in law school might be a good idea after all.Whoa okay yes CPA and law go very well together. You seem very well rounded
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Thank you. 🙂 I was actually planning to take up Economics (it's a good mix of Math and History) but my parents re-wrote my history and placed me in Accounting and Law. It's alright with me as I now have a broader perspective on Economics. But yes, Law was extra-challenging as I'm not used to memorizing anything. I was able to adapt only in my later years. The challenge is not yet over though as I'm not yet a lawyer.
There's always Jante Law...
You're not to think you are anything special.
You're not to think you are as good as we are
You're not to think you are smarter than we are
You're not to convince yourself that you are better than we are.
You're not to think you know more than we do.
You're not to think you are more important than we are.
You're not to think you are good at anything.
You're not to laugh at us
You're not to think anyone cares about you
You're not to think you can teach us anything
Self-confidence:
I am someone. I'm good at what I do. I'm good at all. Next challenge and I jump on it too. It is fun how I play this game so well. Talented. In the flow. Only little fear or doubt.
Humility:
I'm just as good as one out of 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000s can be. And lots of factors helped me to do my thing. My thanks go to the team.
You should accept whatever you do. The universe has places for all the variations.
If you act out of joy and some small minded people think you are arrogant, would you want to be cooler and hide your joy so that they don't judge you?
No negative adjective needs to be avoided. For me people invented negative adjectives to use it when judging and intimidating each other.
Of course showing joy makes an open book out of you. Then you must be strong enough to handle those who think they know how to push your buttons. This is why some prefer to have poker face.
you want to be this humble?
or so?
http://www.ew.com/sites/default/files/ style s/tout_image_612x380/public/i/2013/12/11/Steven-Yeun_612x380_0.jpg?itok=RwZ9sw5U
I don't understand what the issue is here?
If someone can't do this naturally, chances are they're an insecure pos who insists on being jerked off for doing something basic. Therefore, their gross ego rules their behavior and they will have a hard time finding "balance" between the two.
Posted by firebunny
How do you do it?
For me, it's simply to know that there's someone out there better at it than I am. It keeps it real for me.
Posted by firebunny
How do you do it?
I don't worreh about it.
Someone always gonna tell you how to live your Lyfe -what you're doing wrong and how you can be better...
So I just live and learn and let others keep me real 😆
Death, and all that it encompasses on a spiritual level, makes me humble... no other proof that I am insignificant.
Death makes me love life. Death makes me confident.
I don't think, I will be reincarnating... this is probably my last life.
Did this help you understand your situation?
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