Do you want kids?

This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by SassyKiwi on Tuesday, June 15, 2021 and has 77 replies.

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@SassyKiwi
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Sometimes I get baby fever and want like 4 kids and dress them all cute and shit like tiny reindeers and believe it'll all be ok because kids practically raise themselves right... RIGHT ?

Then I have times where I'm like God I don't even have time for myself because maybe driving takes up way too much time in a day when I could just be teleporting to places if technologists and scientists got their shit together by now and use the saved time for SLEEP. I love sleep.

I AM SO CONFLICTED

Share with me your arguments for and against them. Dish me the dreaded scary reality of the tiny humans.

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@SassyKiwi
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Sometimes I wonder if I'm jealous of people who are ok with never having kids. Imagine the amount of free time they have to do so many amazing things 😦

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@SassyKiwi
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by SassyKiwi

Sometimes I wonder if I'm jealous of people who are ok with never having kids. Imagine the amount of free time they have to do so many amazing things 😦

don't forget abundance of money 😂

click to expand

Exactly! I think the average is like 300k behind each kid or something. Less for the siblings because of hand-me-downs.

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@hydorah
13 Years10,000+ PostsPisces

It doesn't really matter what you want or not.

If you were from an older gen, let's say 30 years older than me, you wouldn't have had time or leisure to be asking these question, you'd already be taking care of babies.

The gen 10 years older than me has had no more than two babies per family.

The current gen (20 y.o people), I think you guys will have a maximum of 1 (in average). But a lot of people this gen won't have kids.

The following gens, I don't know.

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@SassyKiwi
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by hydorah

It doesn't really matter what you want or not.

If you were from an older gen, let's say 30 years older than me, you wouldn't have had time or leisure to be asking these question, you'd already be taking care of babies.

The gen 10 years older than me has had no more than two babies per family.

The current gen (20 y.o people), I think you guys will have a maximum of 1 (in average). But a lot of people this gen won't have kids.

The following gens, I don't know.

I do see all this with people around me. I would personally at least want two so that they could entertain each other.

Profile picture of jazzykid
@jazzykid
5 Years500+ Posts

Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by jazzykid

No, mainly because I’ve seen what it has done to my sister. lol

And when baby fever hits, I can pet her kids and leave.

What has it done to your sister? I think child leashes are necessary!

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She went from being one of the bravest people I know to someone who is constantly plagued by fear and worry. Some may be warranted, but most of it is not and just really excessive. Her entire life revolves around her children, and any me-time she allows herself to have is scheduled around their schedule. She’s an amazing mother. But also a very tired one.

The biggest deterrent is the fear and worry, for me.

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@SassyKiwi
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by jazzykid
Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by jazzykid

No, mainly because I’ve seen what it has done to my sister. lol

And when baby fever hits, I can pet her kids and leave.

What has it done to your sister? I think child leashes are necessary!

She went from being one of the bravest people I know to someone who is constantly plagued by fear and worry. Some may be warranted, but most of it is not and just really excessive. Her entire life revolves around her children, and any me-time she allows herself to have is scheduled around their schedule. She’s an amazing mother. But also a very tired one.

The biggest deterrent is the fear and worry, for me.

click to expand

Oh no, I could be a worrywart too. Already thinking about having a camera glued to them 24/7 😐 It's more about not trusting others more than anything I think.

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@jazzykid
5 Years500+ Posts

Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by jazzykid
Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by jazzykid

No, mainly because I’ve seen what it has done to my sister. lol

And when baby fever hits, I can pet her kids and leave.

What has it done to your sister? I think child leashes are necessary!

She went from being one of the bravest people I know to someone who is constantly plagued by fear and worry. Some may be warranted, but most of it is not and just really excessive. Her entire life revolves around her children, and any me-time she allows herself to have is scheduled around their schedule. She’s an amazing mother. But also a very tired one.

The biggest deterrent is the fear and worry, for me.

Oh no, I could be a worrywart too. Already thinking about having a camera glued to them 24/7 😐 It's more about not trusting others more than anything I think.

click to expand

Same.

Say goodbye to restful sleep forever. lol

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@SassyKiwi
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by cake

I have baby fever when I see one and reminisce my child's toddler years.

I prefer to baby sit nowadays but I'm open to adoption in the future when I'm a bit more stable and can afford an additional human being under my care.

They grow up so fast though and if you're a busy parent, a lot can be missed which really sucks in my opinion.

What age range would you adopt between?

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@SassyKiwi
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by Undine

No. Hell no. There will be no mini Undine, ever! Maybe adopting if I’m old and bored.

I have a second cousin in Italy who by unfortunate circumstances ended up being adopted by a lovely elderly couple. I like when elderly people do that instead of taking their wealth to the grave or giving it to their cat.

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@SassyKiwi
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by LadyNeptune

All I know is that the couple we know who is the happiest and healthiest... longest relationship... happen to be childless. Coincidence?

My parents knew this one childless elderly couple for decades and the husband was totally childish and refused to adopt whereas the wife did. He also cheated on her with the housekeeper. The wife passed away not too long ago and the husband is left with all the fruits of his wife's labor :/

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@SassyKiwi
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by Earthyfire

I do . I just want to two. It’s finding a suitable partner for it that is the problem

You will never find one. Everyone sucks and is full of imperfections lol. You just gotta find one that'll hopefully fuck up way less than the others on average xD

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@SassyKiwi
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by ScorpioDreams
Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by ScorpioDreams

Do I want kids? Most definitely!

Will I have kids? Probably not

Where's the discrepancy?

Well I’m about past the child bearing age and single. I’d prefer to raise a child in a two parent home. I could always adopt of course, but I also don’t want to be 70 by the time my child graduates from high school.

click to expand

Do you feel you've utilized your free time to the best extent from all the time you saved from not child rearing like others in your age?

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@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by ScorpioDreams
Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by ScorpioDreams

Do I want kids? Most definitely!

Will I have kids? Probably not

Where's the discrepancy?

Well I’m about past the child bearing age and single. I’d prefer to raise a child in a two parent home. I could always adopt of course, but I also don’t want to be 70 by the time my child graduates from high school.

click to expand

lots of teens needing good homes stuck in the foster system

Profile picture of saggurl88
@saggurl88
13 Years25,000+ Posts

Having kids is so hard in this era/decade. Daycare costs the same as rent or a mortgage.

It's not a good look unless you're a stay at home mom, in a 2 parent income or have people you can trust who will watch your kid/s while you work.

Otherwise it's expensive as hell. Kids are worth it, but it just seems like it was so much easier back in the day when grandma had like 17 of them!

Where are those days?! I would love to have a whole tribe of kids or have enough money to live off the land and be self sufficient.

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@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by ScorpioDreams
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by ScorpioDreams
Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by ScorpioDreams

Do I want kids? Most definitely!

Will I have kids? Probably not

Where's the discrepancy?

Well I’m about past the child bearing age and single. I’d prefer to raise a child in a two parent home. I could always adopt of course, but I also don’t want to be 70 by the time my child graduates from high school.

lots of teens needing good homes stuck in the foster system

That is very true and something I had never really thought about before. Definitely would not rule that option out.

click to expand

I think most states have a foster to adopt programs so you can make sure its a good fit. A bit of a different bond because many of these teens have family's and parents they have some sort of relationship with... even though the home is unfit for them and the parent is fighting addiction or is disabled or incarcerated etc. Your not replacing that bond as a parent, you are just becoming a new parent and support system for them.

There is a documentary series about this called The Day I Picked My Parents. I think Hulu might have it.

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@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by ScorpioDreams
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by ScorpioDreams
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by ScorpioDreams
Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by ScorpioDreams

Do I want kids? Most definitely!

Will I have kids? Probably not

Where's the discrepancy?

Well I’m about past the child bearing age and single. I’d prefer to raise a child in a two parent home. I could always adopt of course, but I also don’t want to be 70 by the time my child graduates from high school.

lots of teens needing good homes stuck in the foster system

That is very true and something I had never really thought about before. Definitely would not rule that option out.

I think most states have a foster to adopt programs so you can make sure its a good fit. A bit of a different bond because many of these teens have family's and parents they have some sort of relationship with... even though the home is unfit for them and the parent is fighting addiction or is disabled or incarcerated etc. Your not replacing that bond as a parent, you are just becoming a new parent and support system for them.

There is a documentary series about this called The Day I Picked My Parents. I think Hulu might have it.

Thank you! I will be checking out that documentary.

click to expand

I hope you enjoy. My partner and I watched it and we are very interested in adoption for the future. Atm trying to get some stability, primarily financially in place, before we try and take on that kinda responsibility.

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@TxOgal
12 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

Posted by ScorpioDreams
Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by ScorpioDreams
Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by ScorpioDreams

Do I want kids? Most definitely!

Will I have kids? Probably not

Where's the discrepancy?

Well I’m about past the child bearing age and single. I’d prefer to raise a child in a two parent home. I could always adopt of course, but I also don’t want to be 70 by the time my child graduates from high school.

Do you feel you've utilized your free time to the best extent from all the time you saved from not child rearing like others in your age?

That’s a tough question. On one hand no because I grew up in a very strict household and did not date throughout high school or college. I did not start dating until my mid twenties. I instead focused on my studies. Which I don’t regret, but I sometimes wonder if I had gotten an earlier start if things would be different and maybe I’d have a kid or two by now? I was/still am very introverted so I always found it difficult meeting new people as well. I’ve never been very social. I think that hurts me as well. On the other hand, I feel like I did utilize my time well because when I was younger I was not in the right mind frame, mature enough or financially stable enough to have and support a child. On some level I still feel as if I’m not ready, but are parents ever really 100% ready? Maybe some are....I don’t know.

click to expand

Looks like me talking.. I feel you.. my family is the same. And yeh noone is ever ready, some just improvise better than others lol

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@saggurl88
13 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by Redbull
Posted by saggurl88

Having kids is so hard in this era/decade. Daycare costs the same as rent or a mortgage.

It's not a good look unless you're a stay at home mom, in a 2 parent income or have people you can trust who will watch your kid/s while you work.

Otherwise it's expensive as hell. Kids are worth it, but it just seems like it was so much easier back in the day when grandma had like 17 of them!

Where are those days?! I would love to have a whole tribe of kids or have enough money to live off the land and be self sufficient.

Yeah its hard for me to get it just from the financial side alone the attraction some seem to have. Not even considering the crazy world and all the rest. Interesting how people can see things so differently.

click to expand

The world will always be crazy though. But it’s so much harder to be a parent nowadays. At least it seems like that.

Family support can really help a lot.

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@PuzzlePieces
7 Years1,000+ Posts

I have two & yes I chose to have them. I used to say I wanted 4 but it didn’t turn out that way. I can’t imagine life without them, they’ve made my life richer. Did I sacrifice things, yes. It was totally worth it. ❤️

Did I worry, yes. But you learn you have to let them fall & make mistakes & hope they will be okay. Lots of love and listening goes a long ways & yes you have to make time for “ me time” and self-care. They are better with a healthy mom. It takes a few years to learn that though.. or did for me.

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@PuzzlePieces
7 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by saggurl88

Having kids is so hard in this era/decade. Daycare costs the same as rent or a mortgage.

It's not a good look unless you're a stay at home mom, in a 2 parent income or have people you can trust who will watch your kid/s while you work.

Otherwise it's expensive as hell. Kids are worth it, but it just seems like it was so much easier back in the day when grandma had like 17 of them!

Where are those days?! I would love to have a whole tribe of kids or have enough money to live off the land and be self sufficient.


Not only this decade, mine were born 1995 & 2000. Took 2 income home & having a good job to pay for daycare then too. Didn’t have the luxury of parents to help. You do what you have to do to make it work. Kids are expensive & being a parent includes sacrifice in many ways, not just financial. It is what it is. People are still having babies & figure it out. Daycare is only for a few years & then when they are in school it’s better. Then come the interesting years 😂

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@saggurl88
13 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by saggurl88

Having kids is so hard in this era/decade. Daycare costs the same as rent or a mortgage.

It's not a good look unless you're a stay at home mom, in a 2 parent income or have people you can trust who will watch your kid/s while you work.

Otherwise it's expensive as hell. Kids are worth it, but it just seems like it was so much easier back in the day when grandma had like 17 of them!

Where are those days?! I would love to have a whole tribe of kids or have enough money to live off the land and be self sufficient.


Not only this decade, mine were born 1995 & 2000. Took 2 income home & having a good job to pay for daycare then too. Didn’t have the luxury of parents to help. You do what you have to do to make it work. Kids are expensive & being a parent includes sacrifice in many ways, not just financial. It is what it is. People are still having babies & figure it out. Daycare is only for a few years & then when they are in school it’s better. Then come the interesting years 😂
click to expand

Yup! Sometimes it's just easier to not think about it and just do it. People would never have them if they thought so much into it.

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@rabidtalker
15 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by SassyKiwi

Sometimes I get baby fever and want like 4 kids and dress them all cute and shit like tiny reindeers and believe it'll all be ok because kids practically raise themselves right... RIGHT ?

Then I have times where I'm like God I don't even have time for myself because maybe driving takes up way too much time in a day when I could just be teleporting to places if technologists and scientists got their shit together by now and use the saved time for SLEEP. I love sleep.

I AM SO CONFLICTED

Share with me your arguments for and against them. Dish me the dreaded scary reality of the tiny humans.

Maybe like 1 or 2. Four is too high for me to count and I'd end up losing a couple.

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@SassyKiwi
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by ScorpioDreams
Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by ScorpioDreams

Do I want kids? Most definitely!

Will I have kids? Probably not

Where's the discrepancy?

Well I’m about past the child bearing age and single. I’d prefer to raise a child in a two parent home. I could always adopt of course, but I also don’t want to be 70 by the time my child graduates from high school.

lots of teens needing good homes stuck in the foster system

click to expand

While I wish there were enough good homes to put them in care under, they can also be very difficult to work with. They often have lots of trauma that need to be addressed through counseling and other means of support so it would require a tremendous amount of patience and understanding which I unfortunately don't think the average person has. If they did then the children would have better care under the system to begin with but the system is completely stacked up against them. Especially from the very beginning of banning abortions...

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@SassyKiwi
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by ScorpioDreams
Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by ScorpioDreams
Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by ScorpioDreams

Do I want kids? Most definitely!

Will I have kids? Probably not

Where's the discrepancy?

Well I’m about past the child bearing age and single. I’d prefer to raise a child in a two parent home. I could always adopt of course, but I also don’t want to be 70 by the time my child graduates from high school.

Do you feel you've utilized your free time to the best extent from all the time you saved from not child rearing like others in your age?

That’s a tough question. On one hand no because I grew up in a very strict household and did not date throughout high school or college. I did not start dating until my mid twenties. I instead focused on my studies. Which I don’t regret, but I sometimes wonder if I had gotten an earlier start if things would be different and maybe I’d have a kid or two by now? I was/still am very introverted so I always found it difficult meeting new people as well. I’ve never been very social. I think that hurts me as well. On the other hand, I feel like I did utilize my time well because when I was younger I was not in the right mind frame, mature enough or financially stable enough to have and support a child. On some level I still feel as if I’m not ready, but are parents ever really 100% ready? Maybe some are....I don’t know.

click to expand

Nah no parents are ever ready 100% , you just kind of learn as you go. But these days people are having children at much later ages which I hope means they're more in tune to their kids' developments versus previous generations. But then you also have my state on the other spectrum which loves teen pregnancies.

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@SassyKiwi
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by Wizardz

I want kids and I imagine it will be like Mary Poppins except she would be my wife and I'd be the chimney sweep guy and take them on adventures in the day and she can be the sensible practical one

You better also help change the poopy diapers

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@SassyKiwi
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by saggurl88

Having kids is so hard in this era/decade. Daycare costs the same as rent or a mortgage.

It's not a good look unless you're a stay at home mom, in a 2 parent income or have people you can trust who will watch your kid/s while you work.

Otherwise it's expensive as hell. Kids are worth it, but it just seems like it was so much easier back in the day when grandma had like 17 of them!

Where are those days?! I would love to have a whole tribe of kids or have enough money to live off the land and be self sufficient.

I find it very interesting how its those who financially struggle that have more kids than those who are financially better off.

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@SassyKiwi
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by ImperfectStorm

How old are you? I waited until I was 34 to have my son and glad that I waited. I’m also content with just 1. Kids are way more work than dressing up in cute outfits. Lol they’re the most amazing gift and bring the most meaning to life, but it’s a lot…. So it’s ideal to wait until you’re really ready to put yourself last.

Age is 44/2+56/3. Don't use PEMDAS :p HONESTLY, mother nature did us dirty and made it difficult for us women to have kids after a certain age. I'm very upset over it. I wish I could live life to the fullest until like 40 and then not have to worry about having kids with any health complications.

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@SassyKiwi
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by Redbull
Posted by SassyKiwi

Sometimes I wonder if I'm jealous of people who are ok with never having kids. Imagine the amount of free time they have to do so many amazing things 😦

Always considered myself fortunate for that. I remember figuring it out as a lil kid when I realized you didnt have to have kids. Never even really been curious. For their and my benefit world is too crazy to me. Does seem to simplify things to me and take off a lot of pressure, at least seems that way. At the same time I love my life but there is constant stuff- financial, this and that and the other, all over the place like dont even come here. And it seems to be the way for me. Breeders and nonbreeders mentality? The thought of having a kid is kind of terrifying to me. I too have wondered sometimes what is the difference. But then as I get older I think of trying to be a positive inspiration and such to the youngers who are already here.

I must say having said all that- what do I know? at the same time.

click to expand

I really respect people who choose not to have kids because they don't want them to have a less than ideal upbringing or recognize they'd make a horrible parent. Not everyone has the capacity to raise another human. As I mentioned in another post, it always amazes me how often least financially stable families have the most number of children versus financially stable couples.

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@SassyKiwi
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by Reincarnation2
Posted by SassyKiwi

Sometimes I get baby fever and want like 4 kids and dress them all cute and shit like tiny reindeers and believe it'll all be ok because kids practically raise themselves right... RIGHT ?

Then I have times where I'm like God I don't even have time for myself because maybe driving takes up way too much time in a day when I could just be teleporting to places if technologists and scientists got their shit together by now and use the saved time for SLEEP. I love sleep.

I AM SO CONFLICTED

Share with me your arguments for and against them. Dish me the dreaded scary reality of the tiny humans.

It may be too late for you.

My astrological forecast of you only sees cats and boxed wine.

Kidding aside - how old are you?

click to expand

Way off. I prefer dogs and don't drink or smoke.

Guess.

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