Tribute Thread For @Deedee75

This thread is in support of our @Deedee75 whose son sadly passed away last week. .

Any words of comfort, prayers etc can be left here for Dee to read. We have also created a gofundme page for anyone who'd like to make a donation towards funeral costs. The link is below. There is an anonymous option if people don’t want to give names ~ “Don't display my name publicly on the campaign.”

We will screenshot the total donation (not the name of the donors) and confirmation that it's sent to Dee.

We'll close the page down at the weekend

https://www.gofundme.com/f/for-cap?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cf+share-flow-1



May her son rest in peace ❤️🙏🏼

💙

Stay strong, Deedee. Lots of love to you!

I'm so sorry for your loss wishing you strength and love ahead

My condolences to you and your family for this tragic loss. No words can convey the kind of heartbreak that you must be feeling and no words will ever heal your heart. However, I hope in time you are able to find peace in your soul. 🦋

So sorry for your loss.

our thoughts and prayers are with you

Omg my sincere condolences. There's nothing more heartbreaking than to come on here to see this. As a father of 4 I know how this must feel like.

I'm very sorry to hear this😢

Phew almost make me wanna break down

keep this thread up top

Posted by tctapp007

keep this thread up top

Bump

I’m so sorry for you loss Deedee, sending love and prayers to you and your family in these trying times.

Bump

I don't have any words that can ease the pain of your loss. My sincerest condolences.

Praying for you, Dee

I have no words 🙏🏻❤️

And thank you @mystarsshine for setting up the gofundme! Great idea

Posted by brianafay

And thank you @mystarsshine for setting up the gofundme! Great idea

It was a joint effort with @cake

Posted by cake

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by brianafay

And thank you @mystarsshine for setting up the gofundme! Great idea

It was a joint effort with @cake

And all those who have donated and posted in this thread.

click to expand

Team effort ❤️

My condolences, and good vibes your way. Idk what else to say, I'm bad at this.

I hope you and your family navigate this trying time with as much ease as is possible.

💛💛💛💛💛

Lots of love and thoughts to you darling

No words can truly ease the pain but we are with you in spirit xo

Thank you everyone. I'm overwhelmed by your kindness. Over the years, I've come to think of you all as family. I love you🧡

I'm having a really tough time right now but reading these messages meant a lot.

So very sorry to hear about this. Just know that many of us are here for you.

I know its raw right now and you are hurting but know that he was blessed to have you as his mum and he is still with you.

It must be so painful, I won`t even try to find the right words, I just hope you are surrounded by loving people. I cannot fathom what it feels like. Are you catholic? I hope your faith can give you a little ease. I am so sorry, children are wonderful creatures all you want to do is make them laugh, that should never happen.

https://www.guideposts.org/sites/default/files/ style s/slideshow_large/public/3_6.jpg

I’ve been wanting to extend my sympathies the entire day but every time I try to put something down, words fail me! They seem soo feeble...

I’d like to think that in time you may find some peace, but for now & for whatever it is worth, our prayers are with you, Dee!

May his new journey be a tranquil one!

@Deedee75

I've been meaning to say something all day, and it's been a bit of a crazy day. I wasn't sure what else was left to say that everyone hasn't already said. But then I started thinking about who you are.

You and me haven't interacted much outside of the occasional banter. But from what I've seen of you over time makes me believe that you are one of the very few REAL people here, who is worth her weight in gold. You've been through pure hell that would've turned most people into bitter hateful crones, yet you never gave into that and always soldiered on.

Over the past couple years I've caught snippets of the living nightmare that your life has been in so many stages of it, and also that your son was a troubled soul. I've seen you post comments about how worried you were about him and asking for advice on how to deal with him.

I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through right now, but I think there would be a whole bunch of self-blame mixed into that, along with a bit of "was this my fault, did I do something to deserve this?". And I'm telling you right now, the answer to both is NO.

I know we can drive ourselves half-insane trying to make sense of something horrible, but the truth is: sometimes terrible things happen. There is no greater reason behind, it's not the universe getting us back because we deserve to suffer. No, sometimes things just happen - but just because we couldn't do anything to stop them, it doesn't make them our fault.

I know that even beginning to acknowledge that, let alone accepting that, is far easier said than done. But you are still here with us. And you are a beautiful strong asskicking Woman with a capital W, and if anybody can make it through something like this, it's you.

Posted by Deedee75

https://www.mattfuneralhome.com/obituary/AdnanAdi-Dedic?fbclid=IwAR0Y4QJQscX2MtbBLlLU2eGe4l2Uc-UPInYUvxgkd_U6uy1c-7😆P4ckpQA

Thank you for sharing the link ☺️ Hope you managed to get through it yesterday. Condolences to you and your family ❤️

My sincere condolences...

May he rest in peace...



...

My dad used to tell me "you will never know how much a parent loves his child unless you become one yourself". So I can't even imagine what it must feel like to lose your own child. I am very sorry for your loss.

This thread really means a lot to me. More than you can ever know.

I'm trying to hold it together around everyone but here I can open up. That's how it's always been for me here. I tell things that I can't say out loud and everyone is always amazing.

My other son is hurting and trying to be tough. He's a Cap sun, scorp moon too! The boys are only 23 months apart and grew up together but are totally opposite personalities.

My ex (another Cap sun but Virgo moon) is so messy. He's been at my house since it happened. His friends and family have come here. Besides the funeral, he hasn't been sober. He tried to fight a neighbor last night who complained about fireworks. He is devastated like we all are but not handling it well. He barely looks at are other son.

So I can't be a mess. I am, but not outwardly. I'm numb.

People have been really supportive and amazing. It definitely has helped.

His friends did a memorial on Thursday. The played his favorite songs, lit his name in candles and released those parachutes. There were over a hundred kids.

When the procession pulled up to the cemetery it was packed. I didn't even look up and see until the end when people came up to me but there were hundreds of people. This is a graveside service during Covid. It meant so much to know that so many people cared.

Posted by MrsElleCappysnatch

Posted by Deedee75

This thread really means a lot to me. More than you can ever know.

I'm trying to hold it together around everyone but here I can open up. That's how it's always been for me here. I tell things that I can't say out loud and everyone is always amazing.

My other son is hurting and trying to be tough. He's a Cap sun, scorp moon too! The boys are only 23 months apart and grew up together but are totally opposite personalities.

My ex (another Cap sun but Virgo moon) is so messy. He's been at my house since it happened. His friends and family have come here. Besides the funeral, he hasn't been sober. He tried to fight a neighbor last night who complained about fireworks. He is devastated like we all are but not handling it well. He barely looks at are other son.

So I can't be a mess. I am, but not outwardly. I'm numb.

Try to pull his family aside to see if someone can handle him and possibly remove him. He will turn his grief at you and it will be relentless. This is the last thing you need right now, especially for your other son.

From what you mentioned about him in the past, he is is a similar hot mess to my ex cap husband who has said some things he can't ever take back that your other son will be haunted by for years.

I wish you peace and serenity. You will get thru this.

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His brother has been staying here with him to keep an eye out. Now that my son has been laid to rest, its time for him to go home.

My work told me to take as much time as I need but I chose to go back next week. If I just stay inside and dwell, the only place to go is crazy.

My heart goes out to you, and your son Dee. I can only imagine the pain and its crippling weight. Your courage to share your struggles here is incredible. Your strength is unmatched.

Mama never forgets her birds,

Though in another tree –

She looks down just as often

And just as tenderly

As when her little mortal nest

With cunning care she wove –

If either of her sparrows fall,

She notices, above.



– Emily Dickinson

I feel so sad, hurt and angry for you. We grow up understanding our parents and grandparents will age and have to leave this world behind some day - the circle of life. But no parents are ever prepared to lose their child before themselves. No grandparents are prepared to lose their grandchild before themselves... It's beyond anyone's imagination...

I know you're trying to be the strong mama that you are for everyone's sake but I hope you have at least someone near you that you can fall apart to and grieve your heart out to whenever you need.

I also hope your son is now free of any pain he was going through. We know how silent and tough Caps can try to play things off. In a age where it feels like superficiality is put above most, it's so heartwarming to hear the turnout for your son. He was so loved and will always be.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Bump

I don't know if I mentioned it before, but he was with his girlfriend(taurus sun, gem moon). They went to bed. In the morning, she woke up and let him sleep a bit. She noticed drool on his face and went to wipe it off and realized he wasn't alive.

This 18 year old girl had her boyfriend die in her bed! I have these attachment to her. She came to the funeral and my house afterwards. She wore his shirt to the funeral.

I had a dream last night that she was pregnant. I just want a piece of him back.

Posted by Deedee75

I don't know if I mentioned it before, but he was with his girlfriend(taurus sun, gem moon). They went to bed. In the morning, she woke up and let him sleep a bit. She noticed drool on his face and went to wipe it off and realized he wasn't alive.

This 18 year old girl had her boyfriend die in her bed! I have these attachment to her. She came to the funeral and my house afterwards. She wore his shirt to the funeral.

I had a dream last night that she was pregnant. I just want a piece of him back.

(((Dee)))

That was so dificult for the gf, but I'm glad he wasn't alone when he passed.

"She wore his shirt to the funeral" .... that is so moving to read, such a huge thing to go through at any age, but to lose someone you cared for at 18 is so sad. The dream you had.....wow!

Dee, please use this thread to share anything about Adi .... it may help with the grieving process to talk about him. You know he will always be there for you, watching out and guiding you 🙏🏼❤️

Hugs xxx

I am so very sorry to hear this. Big hugs, prayers, and ❤️❤️ For you, your other son, and family.

A girl went missing from our area on 9/23. My son knew her. They were in the same friends group. He told me about her a year ago. They were talking and she liked him but he decided not to date her because she had a baby.

Her body was found on Saturday. She was 19 too. My son passed a few days later, about half a mile from her.

I reached out to her mother on Facebook. It was a brief conversation but I told her that I hope they are together and keeping eachother company.

Posted by akitu

Posted by Deedee75

https://www.mattfuneralhome.com/obituary/AdnanAdi-Dedic?fbclid=IwAR0Y4QJQscX2MtbBLlLU2eGe4l2Uc-UPInYUvxgkd_U6uy1c-7😆P4ckpQA

He’s so beautiful, Dee. Wow look at that smile! He looks so genuine and happy. God my heart aches for you. And a creative spirit too? Those are the best people. They always leave a little of their creativity behind them. He literally just looks like the most charming sweet young man, I’m so sorry that he struggled on this plane for so long. It’s not fair. I wish you the strengthening of every heartfelt memory, every loving moment with him so they may never slip from your grasp.

And I hope against hope your family comes together at this time. X

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Love this post and want to affirm everything that akitu wrote xx

Yes to the beautiful smile, so radiant ~ your beautiful boy, Dee ❤️

Sending much love to you ❤️❤️❤️

I'm never going to get over this but I'm looking for some peace. Last night, I got this overwhelming feeling that I wasn't alone and then the lights starting flickering. I have to believe that he is ok and my grandparents are taking care of him now. This is really really hard.

He is buried at a memorial park. It is very beautiful and filled with flowers and trees. Deer are running around. He is next to his gr gr grandparents. They purchased the plot in 1940. His gr grandparents were cremated and are in the mausoleum there. He was close to them. They both passed in 2017.

Because it is a park and not a cemetery, headstones are not allowed. Instead, graves are marked with a flat, bronze marker. I decided to use the funds , from all of you, to purchase the marker.

I am also allowed to memorialize him with a granite bench, so I will do that as well. They can't be placed until the spring but I'm going to design and order them next week.

Thank you again. It means more than you will ever know.

Posted by Deedee75

I'm never going to get over this but I'm looking for some peace. Last night, I got this overwhelming feeling that I wasn't alone and then the lights starting flickering. I have to believe that he is ok and my grandparents are taking care of him now. This is really really hard.

He is buried at a memorial park. It is very beautiful and filled with flowers and trees. Deer are running around. He is next to his gr gr grandparents. They purchased the plot in 1940. His gr grandparents were cremated and are in the mausoleum there. He was close to them. They both passed in 2017.

Because it is a park and not a cemetery, headstones are not allowed. Instead, graves are marked with a flat, bronze marker. I decided to use the funds , from all of you, to purchase the marker.

I am also allowed to memorialize him with a granite bench, so I will do that as well. They can't be placed until the spring but I'm going to design and order them next week.

Thank you again. It means more than you will ever know.

He will always be with you Dee....just keeping looking for the signs, you will be amazed ❤️

The bench is a lovely idea, somewhere you can sit and connect with him 🙏🏼

My father was a staunch atheist

The night before he passed I called him and he told me his room was filled with people. When I spoke to the nurse she told me there were no visitors. He had mentioned his Grandmother being present...

Shortly after he passed he started to connect with me. At first I thought it was my imagination but now 8 years on, I could write a book about the connections I've experienced with him. I'd said to him "will you come back in spirit after you go"? He laughed and said "I'll try".

I believe we live on....I've experienced too much not to.

(((Dee))) Adi will always be there.....just talk to him and keep the faith going

Sending love

❤️❤️❤️

🙏🏼

Just checking in to see how you are today @Deedee75. Please feel free to share anything here if it helps you

Xx❤️xX

I'm trying but it's really really rough.

I'm mad at myself for not doing better and for being such a nag. I barely saw him the last two months but I picked him up the Friday before and I keep replaying his smile and those few moments. We argued the Sunday morning before and he stormed out. He called later and apologized and asked if he could come home (of course). His job has been on furlough since March and he got a new job that morning that was supposed to start on Thursday. He was excited. I didn't say bye to him on Monday morning. He was sleeping. He called me that evening. That's all I got.

I tried to call him that morning but it went right to voicemail. I wanted to tell him that there was Buffalo chicken in the crockpot (his favorite).

Posted by MyStarsShine

Just checking in to see how you are today @Deedee75. Please feel free to share anything here if it helps you

Xx❤️xX

I'm the person that tries to fix things and make it work.

I can't fix this one. It's so permanent.

I'm in bed searching for time travel

Posted by Deedee75

I'm trying but it's really really rough.

I'm mad at myself for not doing better and for being such a nag. I barely saw him the last two months but I picked him up the Friday before and I keep replaying his smile and those few moments. We argued the Sunday morning before and he stormed out. He called later and apologized and asked if he could come home (of course). His job has been on furlough since March and he got a new job that morning that was supposed to start on Thursday. He was excited. I didn't say bye to him on Monday morning. He was sleeping. He called me that evening. That's all I got.

I tried to call him that morning but it went right to voicemail. I wanted to tell him that there was Buffalo chicken in the crockpot (his favorite).

Posted by MyStarsShine

Just checking in to see how you are today @Deedee75. Please feel free to share anything here if it helps you

Xx❤️xX

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He wanted to come home because you’re a good mum.

You love him and he knows that

All of us wished we could do better, it’s the nature of being a parent.

Adi knows you love him Dee. The storming out and the arguments don’t mean a thing...it’s what all families do, he probably didn’t give it a second thought. He will just remember the love ... ❤️

Try not to beat yourself up, you’re human and do your best

You will love him forever and that’s all that matters

(((❤️)))

Deedee as a mother myself I can’t even imagine what you are feeling or goin through right now, but we are all here for you and sending you lots of love and peace. One day at a time love ❤️

I want to thank you all. This was so unexpected and so appreciated. This is a really great group of people.

I'm using the funds for his marker. I will share it here

i received the confirmation from GoFundMe. Again, I can't thank you enough.

I will pay it forward forever.