Nouran20
@Nouran20
12 Years
Comments: 4 · Posts: 428 · Topics: 38
I need cap mooners to help me please
Posted by Nouran20
Hello cap moon people I have a question for you all.
My close friend hasn't spoken to me for about two weeks over something I said to him during an argument. Now this is the longest time he has ever disappeared. And I don't know how to deal with this the right way?
I feel like I've done more than enough to fix this. I apologised and tried to convince him to meet and discuss this calmly as I believe it's a misunderstanding and I totally didnt mean what I said he just took what I said way too personal.
Anyway if you cap moons disappear into your own bubble and avoid even listening and don't accept apologies plus take aaaaages to get over a quarrel then what is that can be done to get you to listen and to get you to get over any problem —?
How to deal with this please.
Just out of curiosity, what is his sun?
I wouldn't ever cut someone off like that unless it was the last straw.
You've done this before, probably many times.
You've done this before, probably many times.
I had a moment once were I was like, wow this person's seriously being a real dick right now again (the moment lasts for like 8-10 seconds) and in those seconds the friendship just 180'd (but not in a mean way)
like the closeness we had just faded away completely, and you're just a different person to me now, no longer "friends" just like...a person
but after those seconds of 180 and then a few minutes of "thanks for being a dick" type of grumpy, I got back to work and just didn't think about it 100% (my work mindset is my.work.mindset.)
now when I hear their name, first thing i think is that dick move they made & how we're not that close anymore (again, not like grr i hate them, it's just a fact I remember with no emotions tied to it)
when they apologized, I accepted with no feelings behind it really, just like yeah it's fine, and we can talk if you want to, but you're not in my top favorite people list anymore (again, not in a mean way) we're just nonchalant with our emotions, like we just truly don't acknowledged them in a deep way, and we especially would never talk about them with somebody else..lol
deep down inside, it's hard to make me truly mad, but i did think about what a dick they were for a lil bit, but I don't dwell on anything for that long. It's just like our friendship meter slowly went from 90% to 50% (and it's hard to get that back)
and when i see them somewhere, i don't think about it or think badly of them when we talk, i'll always keep the vibe friendly 🙂 no need to bring emotions out into public (or private for that matter) but we don't casually hang out together anymore
if he's not talking to you at all, he's just like oh ok..cool see you when I see you around
like the closeness we had just faded away completely, and you're just a different person to me now, no longer "friends" just like...a person
but after those seconds of 180 and then a few minutes of "thanks for being a dick" type of grumpy, I got back to work and just didn't think about it 100% (my work mindset is my.work.mindset.)
now when I hear their name, first thing i think is that dick move they made & how we're not that close anymore (again, not like grr i hate them, it's just a fact I remember with no emotions tied to it)
when they apologized, I accepted with no feelings behind it really, just like yeah it's fine, and we can talk if you want to, but you're not in my top favorite people list anymore (again, not in a mean way) we're just nonchalant with our emotions, like we just truly don't acknowledged them in a deep way, and we especially would never talk about them with somebody else..lol
deep down inside, it's hard to make me truly mad, but i did think about what a dick they were for a lil bit, but I don't dwell on anything for that long. It's just like our friendship meter slowly went from 90% to 50% (and it's hard to get that back)
and when i see them somewhere, i don't think about it or think badly of them when we talk, i'll always keep the vibe friendly 🙂 no need to bring emotions out into public (or private for that matter) but we don't casually hang out together anymore
if he's not talking to you at all, he's just like oh ok..cool see you when I see you around
Posted by starwars
what did you argue about? and how did you apologize?
I personally get over everything rather quickly, can't stand being grumpy for too long. unless you did something really mean, I be like 'time to reconsider our friendship' but even then id rather talk about it than ignore the person.
Me too i get over problems quickly especially with someone I love or someone close to me because I hate to have issues or carry grudges against someone I care about. And I do care for him.
To make it short his friend his something I consider inappropriate and so we argued about it and he supports his friend's behaviour and I don't. So I said "if you all act out of manners and think it's ok then whatever up to you but I would never do such a thing cuz I believe manners are important"
So he took what I said like I'm telling him he has no matters. But this isn't what I meant I mean the "act" is inapproate not him in person plus I was talking about his friend mainly.
Anyways I thought about it and thought perhaps I was so aggressive expressing myself and hence I told him there is a mjnsunderstaing and let's meet to discuss it he was like no. Then I apologised and again proposed the idea of atleast calling him to explain to him I didn't mean it. And still he refused.
Last thing he said just give it some time cuz I'm still mad. So I stopped contacting him since then.
Ps: I told him my grandma is very sick in hospital and he never even said is she ok or are u alright. I would never do that if I was in his place I would atleast say hoe everything is fine and check to see if things r ok.
Posted by Deedee86Posted by Nouran20
Hello cap moon people I have a question for you all.
My close friend hasn't spoken to me for about two weeks over something I said to him during an argument. Now this is the longest time he has ever disappeared. And I don't know how to deal with this the right way?
I feel like I've done more than enough to fix this. I apologised and tried to convince him to meet and discuss this calmly as I believe it's a misunderstanding and I totally didnt mean what I said he just took what I said way too personal.
Anyway if you cap moons disappear into your own bubble and avoid even listening and don't accept apologies plus take aaaaages to get over a quarrel then what is that can be done to get you to listen and to get you to get over any problem —?
How to deal with this please.
Just out of curiosity, what is his sun?
click to expand
He's a sag sun and I'm a Taurus sun
He's a cap moon and I'm a sag moon.
Posted by sultrykittyNo we barely argue but when we do he disppears for like 3 days and comes back to speak but this time he's taking like two weeks or more. I don't know why.
I wouldn't ever cut someone off like that unless it was the last straw.
You've done this before, probably many times.
Posted by Nouran20Posted by sultrykittyNo we barely argue but when we do he disppears for like 3 days and comes back to speak but this time he's taking like two weeks or more. I don't know why.
I wouldn't ever cut someone off like that unless it was the last straw.
You've done this before, probably many times.click to expand
You're repeating similar past arguments and he's getting fed up with it, hence, no contact.
Has he tried to talk it out in the past or did he resort to distance without a word? Ie. Letting it blow over, avoid confrontation.
Posted by littlenanobyteI had arguments before but they weren't many. We are extremely close friends and we have trust in each other. We speak on a daily basis and he tells me details of his life all the time. So it's not just a casual friendship. We care for each other. And that is why I'm so concerned.
I read your other post before I responded to this one. I could be wrong, but I get kind of a pushy and naggy vibe, especially on the part:
"I am always there to support him. I even encourage him to drink less and join my charity work."
I also think that there have been many many many arguments, this was not the first one of this nature, and he is reconsidering if your friendship is worth maintaining.
When it's the other way around and he apologises to me I immediately let go of any problems and it takes me 1 or 2 minutes to go back to normal. I never hold grudges against him no matter what he says cuz I know his intention is not to hurt me.
So what annoys me is how can he be like this when I told him over and over again that I don't mean any harm I was just expressing my opinion over a certain act his friend has done. Which I think is inapproate. ANd him accepting that act is just silly. He thinks I'm being disrespectful to him and his friend. Which I'm not!!!
How can he just refuse to listen to me when all I wanted is to just make things better. And then now he is not speaking for like two weeks or more. I just can't handle it. This whole sutuation could have been solved if only he listens to me and believes me when I tell him I don't mean to insult you at all.
COMMUNICATION PEOPLE!!! People need to sit and talk about what bothers them and about what to say and what not say cuz we all are different.
Do I have to beg? Of course not. All I'm doing is just letting it be. But seriously how can someone be like this?
Posted by VirgoreanPosted by Nouran20Posted by sultrykittyNo we barely argue but when we do he disppears for like 3 days and comes back to speak but this time he's taking like two weeks or more. I don't know why.
I wouldn't ever cut someone off like that unless it was the last straw.
You've done this before, probably many times.
You're repeating similar past arguments and he's getting fed up with it, hence, no contact.
Has he tried to talk it out in the past or did he resort to distance without a word? Ie. Letting it blow over, avoid confrontation.
click to expand
No we never spoke about our arguments before. He just disappears without a word. BecUse I was in a different country so we didn't have the chance to sit and talk. But now we are in the same place. So that's what I am trying to do is to speak to each other face to face and understand what is going on in his head. Because so far I feel like he is too sensitive. Sometimes I'm just expressing myself and he takes it tooooooo personal. He needs to know that not everything I say is targeting him.
I just don't know how to get him to speak.
Posted by Nouran20He's non confrontational. He is most likely letting it blow over, but it seems what you said has really affected him and possibly reconsidering his friendship with you as others have pointed out. 3 days vs 3 weeks is a cause for concern.Posted by VirgoreanPosted by Nouran20Posted by sultrykittyNo we barely argue but when we do he disppears for like 3 days and comes back to speak but this time he's taking like two weeks or more. I don't know why.
I wouldn't ever cut someone off like that unless it was the last straw.
You've done this before, probably many times.
You're repeating similar past arguments and he's getting fed up with it, hence, no contact.
Has he tried to talk it out in the past or did he resort to distance without a word? Ie. Letting it blow over, avoid confrontation.
No we never spoke about our arguments before. He just disappears without a word. BecUse I was in a different country so we didn't have the chance to sit and talk. But now we are in the same place. So that's what I am trying to do is to speak to each other face to face and understand what is going on in his head. Because so far I feel like he is too sensitive. Sometimes I'm just expressing myself and he takes it tooooooo personal. He needs to know that not everything I say is targeting him.
I just don't know how to get him to speak.
click to expand
then shut up and don't speak to him and give it a while ... your constant nagging him isn't going to do it ...
Posted by tctaI'm not nagging. I haven't said a word to him for two weeks now.
then shut up and don't speak to him and give it a while ... your constant nagging him isn't going to do it ...
Posted by VirgoreanPosted by Nouran20He's non confrontational. He is most likely letting it blow over, but it seems what you said has really affected him and possibly reconsidering his friendship with you as others have pointed out. 3 days vs 3 weeks is a cause for concern.Posted by VirgoreanPosted by Nouran20Posted by sultrykittyNo we barely argue but when we do he disppears for like 3 days and comes back to speak but this time he's taking like two weeks or more. I don't know why.
I wouldn't ever cut someone off like that unless it was the last straw.
You've done this before, probably many times.
You're repeating similar past arguments and he's getting fed up with it, hence, no contact.
Has he tried to talk it out in the past or did he resort to distance without a word? Ie. Letting it blow over, avoid confrontation.
No we never spoke about our arguments before. He just disappears without a word. BecUse I was in a different country so we didn't have the chance to sit and talk. But now we are in the same place. So that's what I am trying to do is to speak to each other face to face and understand what is going on in his head. Because so far I feel like he is too sensitive. Sometimes I'm just expressing myself and he takes it tooooooo personal. He needs to know that not everything I say is targeting him.
I just don't know how to get him to speak.
click to expand
Mmmmm maybe your right although he has asked me in the past to meet face to face to discuss things so we could understand each others mentality a little better. And I wasn't in the same country. Now that I am here and ready for it he is like not responding. But ok I have cut any communication with him anyway
Posted by Nouran20oh ok, well then he is very sensitive and perhaps not so much into you anymore ... so sorry ... you both sound young ?Posted by tctaI'm not nagging. I haven't said a word to him for two weeks now.
then shut up and don't speak to him and give it a while ... your constant nagging him isn't going to do it ...click to expand
Posted by tctaI don't think that's truePosted by Nouran20oh ok, well then he is very sensitive and perhaps not so much into you anymore ... so sorry ... you both sound young ?Posted by tctaI'm not nagging. I haven't said a word to him for two weeks now.
then shut up and don't speak to him and give it a while ... your constant nagging him isn't going to do it ...click to expand
But I'm 24 and he's 27
we're sensitive & already our own worst enemy critically, so you just pushed him into a little depression, like he wasn't good enough for everybody around him & they were all judging him, especially for being rude & immature
he's really depressed right now
leave him be, he's not in the mood to talk to the person who put him into this depression, he's being hard on himself atm
he's really depressed right now
leave him be, he's not in the mood to talk to the person who put him into this depression, he's being hard on himself atm
also saying manners matter to you,
saying he needed manners & you saying you have better manners than him?
I would think wow you're insulting me & kinda making a dick statement about my personality, thinking that your personality is better & more acceptable to everybody around, thinking you're more mature, & more likable than I am to people
he's thinking you think you're better than him
& honestly that's just a dick move to anybody
c'monnn
saying he needed manners & you saying you have better manners than him?
I would think wow you're insulting me & kinda making a dick statement about my personality, thinking that your personality is better & more acceptable to everybody around, thinking you're more mature, & more likable than I am to people
he's thinking you think you're better than him
& honestly that's just a dick move to anybody
c'monnn
plus.we.don't.talk.about.feelings.
Posted by cappiemooncancersun
also saying manners matter to you,
saying he needed manners & you saying you have better manners than him?
I would think wow you're insulting me & kinda making a dick statement about my personality, thinking that your personality is better & more acceptable to everybody around, thinking you're more mature, & more likable than I am to people
he's thinking you think you're better than him
& honestly that's just a dick move to anybody
c'monnn
But that's not true and that's what I have been trying to explain to him over and over again that I don't think I'm better than him and my intention was never to offend him. Plus I was talking about the situation not him as a Person. I love him and I just don't know how I can deliver that to him?
I know he doesn't talk about feelings neither do I like talking about my feelings but when it comes to something like this then I have to.
Posted by cappiemooncancersun
we're sensitive & already our own worst enemy critically, so you just pushed him into a little depression, like he wasn't good enough for everybody around him & they were all judging him, especially for being rude & immature
he's really depressed right now
leave him be, he's not in the mood to talk to the person who put him into this depression, he's being hard on himself atm
Your right he does criticise himself a lot but again that's cuz he has done silly things in the past, things I never done. Yet I have told him many times that he shouldn't be too harsh on himself.
I've been there for him all the time to encorage him to be a better person and to push him to take better decisions. And it worked he went from drinking a lot to less drinking to none at all. He also showed interest to come to charity work with me. When he was depressed cuz he broke his arm and wasn't healing well, I always been there to cheer him up. I knew all his doctor apppintments and was there to ask about him and make sure he is fine.
And now when I was struggling with my grandma as she suffered from an illness and was going through lots of shit he never even tried to say are u ok? How's life going do u need any support?
So really one word I said when I was a little annoyed makes him forget every good thing I have done? Makes him forget my loyalty? Makes him forget how much support I gave him? So mr depressed decides to cut me loose for over two weeks for such a silly thing?
Sorry but I am sobbing in tears and being all emotional because I expected a friend to be here for me, a friend that would say it's ok I believe you didn't mean any harm...we were just a little tensed...let's talk about it when we r calm.
Sorry but I am sobbing in tears and being all emotional because I expected a friend to be here for me, a friend that would say it's ok I believe you didn't mean any harm...we were just a little tensed...let's talk about it when we r calm.
Posted by SeraphlightPosted by Nouran20Perhaps you deserve a better friend than him?Posted by sultrykittyNo we barely argue but when we do he disppears for like 3 days and comes back to speak but this time he's taking like two weeks or more. I don't know why.
I wouldn't ever cut someone off like that unless it was the last straw.
You've done this before, probably many times.click to expand
I really don't know...I love him and I just want things to improve and I want him to know that.
Posted by cappiemooncancersun
also saying manners matter to you,
saying he needed manners & you saying you have better manners than him?
I would think wow you're insulting me & kinda making a dick statement about my personality, thinking that your personality is better & more acceptable to everybody around, thinking you're more mature, & more likable than I am to people
he's thinking you think you're better than him
& honestly that's just a dick move to anybody
c'monnn
I am letting him alone now and not talking to him at all. But you have to advise me how to deliver to you cap mooners that we don't intend to harm u in anyway.
I've apologised and I have tried to explain and sent him voice notes. I really have tried so many ways to make it better. But nothing is working.
I'm afraid if I never speak to him again that he will never speak and still continue to think I "think" I'm better than him or whatever. Just advise me what to do if he doesn't talk for like a very long time.
Posted by Nouran20my brother's a capricorn moon sag sun actually, & my goodness he's so hard on himself (he says it jokingly like a sag, but he actually means what he says from his cappie self-critical heart)Posted by cappiemooncancersun
also saying manners matter to you,
saying he needed manners & you saying you have better manners than him?
I would think wow you're insulting me & kinda making a dick statement about my personality, thinking that your personality is better & more acceptable to everybody around, thinking you're more mature, & more likable than I am to people
he's thinking you think you're better than him
& honestly that's just a dick move to anybody
c'monnn
I am letting him alone now and not talking to him at all. But you have to advise me how to deliver to you cap mooners that we don't intend to harm u in anyway.
I've apologised and I have tried to explain and sent him voice notes. I really have tried so many ways to make it better. But nothing is working.
I'm afraid if I never speak to him again that he will never speak and still continue to think I "think" I'm better than him or whatever. Just advise me what to do if he doesn't talk for like a very long time.
click to expand
the sag sun is what's making him silly, he doesn't want you killing his silliness
but insulting him (i know you didn't mean to!) to us, our reputation is number 1, we don't want to come off as immature slackers, or someone who can't take care of ourself, because I take SO much pride in being self-efficient, responsible, and helpful (it's truly the biggest thing I have to offer the world!)
it was just a big blow to his ego 😢 the pride we take in our reputation, we work hard for it & you (accidentally!) tore it down, quickly & out of the blue, throwing off his night & his view of how close he thought you really guys were & you as a person
so you contacting him so much at first = him not being able to cool down & detach from that feeling he felt from tht moment with you that day
he appreciated the first sorry, felt nothing about the rest of them after that, got that moment of emotions out & just gotta be alone now
again, now you've gotta build that friendship back up from 50% to 90% (good luck :/)
but now this makes him shrug off the friendship kinda, moon wise it's like ok if you don't respect me then why should I respect you? We put in the same effort into the relationship (dating or friendship, doesn't matter) as you do
but putting him down, being disappointed in him (possibly our worst fear), & implying other people are too, he's just like okay w.e if you think i'm embarrassing to be in public with, I guess why go in public together
you were being too mermermer for his fun loving sagittarius side, who wants the vibe to be 10000% fun when out & about, & cappie moon wants to make sure everyone is having fun too! (not just a self-centered fire sign, my brother is always beyond helpful 🙂 )
sag wise, he's thinking guess our friendship isn't as important to you as I thought it was, because caring about what other people think is more important than us having fun (they don't mind looking silly when out drinking, but don't insult him with serious comments about his ethics, because we have such pure, strong, hard working ethics)
we're not healthy when it comes to emotions, we just repress reflecting on the person's good intentions, and instead we just sulk about the negative point of view, & about how we messed up, we're self-centered in that way
just give him time, then after a while, do something silly to make him sag sun happy 🙂
& maybe get him a nice little (useful, like something he can use at work) gift
he's not mad at you, just disappointed you would bring down a friend
not mad, disappointed
we can't help it, it's nothing personal ever in a way, being disappointed, just no emotions behind it, but part of the friendship is gone 😢
we're more of the avoiding type with emotions, than actually feeling..well..feelings
TRUST ME
give more time, silly sag moment (make him laugh! or buy him a drink 😉 ), practical cappie gift for work
again, time's all you've got on your side to help, so take small steps to win him back
can't go from 50% to 100% overnight /:
good luck though, because it may be a long, long, process
but good luck, because one day.. we can 180 about anything 🙂
Honestly it sounds like you're an "improver". I understand that you say or suggest things that are helpful to him, and that will be beneficial to him, but cap moons are perfectionists. And we are hard on ourselves and not good with criticism AT ALL. Unless one is in a position of authority, we generally will feel nitpicked if our friends "suggest" we change anything about ourselves.
Sure, we might appreciate the sentiment, but I would rather be with someone who inspires me to be better than one who tells me to be.
It's like, so there's all this wrong with me, then why are you with me? You want me to be what YOU want, not who I am. So, go be with someone who is what you want, don't try to change me (even if it's for my benefit).
If you want to rebuild your friendship, you're going to have to take him for exactly how he is, or wants to be. No suggestions or "noticing" he does something you don't like.
Sure, we might appreciate the sentiment, but I would rather be with someone who inspires me to be better than one who tells me to be.
It's like, so there's all this wrong with me, then why are you with me? You want me to be what YOU want, not who I am. So, go be with someone who is what you want, don't try to change me (even if it's for my benefit).
If you want to rebuild your friendship, you're going to have to take him for exactly how he is, or wants to be. No suggestions or "noticing" he does something you don't like.
Posted by cappiemooncancersunThank u so much this was very useful and I agree many of this sounds like him. I believe his reaction is all based on a mind understanding that I insulted his pride and ethics, thinking that maybe i don't believe he's good enough.Posted by Nouran20my brother's a capricorn moon sag sun actually, & my goodness he's so hard on himself (he says it jokingly like a sag, but he actually means what he says from his cappie self-critical heart)Posted by cappiemooncancersun
also saying manners matter to you,
saying he needed manners & you saying you have better manners than him?
I would think wow you're insulting me & kinda making a dick statement about my personality, thinking that your personality is better & more acceptable to everybody around, thinking you're more mature, & more likable than I am to people
he's thinking you think you're better than him
& honestly that's just a dick move to anybody
c'monnn
I am letting him alone now and not talking to him at all. But you have to advise me how to deliver to you cap mooners that we don't intend to harm u in anyway.
I've apologised and I have tried to explain and sent him voice notes. I really have tried so many ways to make it better. But nothing is working.
I'm afraid if I never speak to him again that he will never speak and still continue to think I "think" I'm better than him or whatever. Just advise me what to do if he doesn't talk for like a very long time.
the sag sun is what's making him silly, he doesn't want you killing his silliness
but insulting him (i know you didn't mean to!) to us, our reputation is number 1, we don't want to come off as immature slackers, or someone who can't take care of ourself, because I take SO much pride in being self-efficient, responsible, and helpful (it's truly the biggest thing I have to offer the world!)
it was just a big blow to his ego 😢 the pride we take in our reputation, we work hard for it & you (accidentally!) tore it down, quickly & out of the blue, throwing off his night & his view of how close he thought you really guys were & you as a person
so you contacting him so much at first = him not being able to cool down & detach from that feeling he felt from tht moment with you that day
he appreciated the first sorry, felt nothing about the rest of them after that, got that moment of emotions out & just gotta be alone now
again, now you've gotta build that friendship back up from 50% to 90% (good luck :/)
but now this makes him shrug off the friendship kinda, moon wise it's like ok if you don't respect me then why should I respect you? We put in the same effort into the relationship (dating or friendship, doesn't matter) as you do
but putting him down, being disappointed in him (possibly our worst fear), & implying other people are too, he's just like okay w.e if you think i'm embarrassing to be in public with, I guess why go in public together
you were being too mermermer for his fun loving sagittarius side, who wants the vibe to be 10000% fun when out & about, & cappie moon wants to make sure everyone is having fun too! (not just a self-centered fire sign, my brother is always beyond helpful 🙂 )
sag wise, he's thinking guess our friendship isn't as important to you as I thought it was, because caring about what other people think is more important than us having fun (they don't mind looking silly when out drinking, but don't insult him with serious comments about his ethics, because we have such pure, strong, hard working ethics)
we're not healthy when it comes to emotions, we just repress reflecting on the person's good intentions, and instead we just sulk about the negative point of view, & about how we messed up, we're self-centered in that way
just give him time, then after a while, do something silly to make him sag sun happy 🙂
& maybe get him a nice little (useful, like something he can use at work) gift
he's not mad at you, just disappointed you would bring down a friend
not mad, disappointed
we can't help it, it's nothing personal ever in a way, being disappointed, just no emotions behind it, but part of the friendship is gone 😢
we're more of the avoiding type with emotions, than actually feeling..well..feelings
TRUST ME
give more time, silly sag moment (make him laugh! or buy him a drink 😉 ), practical cappie gift for work
again, time's all you've got on your side to help, so take small steps to win him back
can't go from 50% to 100% overnight /:
good luck though, because it may be a long, long, process
but good luck, because one day.. we can 180 about anything 🙂click to expand
Despite the fact that I always told him (when we r not fighting) that I don't want him to change at all because I like him just the way he is. which is true.
I will try after some time to send him a joke or something and still not speak well unless he replies then I'll reply with a short comment. Although my mom told me not to ever start speaking to him unless he begins talking because she told me you have done more than enough to improve things and that I have been positive and never gave up on him yet he resisted so let him be and if he never ever spoke again then forget him and move on cuz she believes "you can't just let go of long friendships over an argument as silly as this one" she also told me "if one thing I say makes someone forget every good thing u have done then this person is not worth ur time, friends should tolerate each other during bad situations cuz clearly I don't hurt his ego every single day"
Yet I don't want to give up on him and "just let go" cuz this friendship was based on way too many positive things and he means a lot to me. I will perhaps try the joke thing maybe after some time, last time we spoke was 10 days ago. But the whole issue has started almost a month ago. I just hope when I do send him that joke that he won't take it like I'm chasing him.
To be honest I am very disappointed that someone would bring down our friendship from 100% to 50% over one thing I said, not even intentionally. If only he understands that what I said was out of love not hate ? And if only we could talk calmly about it and directly things would have become better.
All the times that he apologised I never held grudges I always forgave him in just a few seconds.
Btw I'm a Taurus sun and sag moon.
——?pray for me I am losing hope that this friendship is ever going to work again. I really hate myself and I hate that I can't solve anything and that he is not responding. I'm just tryna stay patient.
Posted by sultrykitty
Honestly it sounds like you're an "improver". I understand that you say or suggest things that are helpful to him, and that will be beneficial to him, but cap moons are perfectionists. And we are hard on ourselves and not good with criticism AT ALL. Unless one is in a position of authority, we generally will feel nitpicked if our friends "suggest" we change anything about ourselves.
Sure, we might appreciate the sentiment, but I would rather be with someone who inspires me to be better than one who tells me to be.
It's like, so there's all this wrong with me, then why are you with me? You want me to be what YOU want, not who I am. So, go be with someone who is what you want, don't try to change me (even if it's for my benefit).
If you want to rebuild your friendship, you're going to have to take him for exactly how he is, or wants to be. No suggestions or "noticing" he does something you don't like.
Yeah I understand but trust me every step/decision he took like cutting down drinking and so was taken by him not me. I only told him like I wouldn't like seeing him destroy his health or so but I wouldn't force you to stop. Never I said stop this and that I am not a bossy person at all. But when he took the decision , I only encouraged for him to keep going as a way of cheering him. Like yeaaaaa that's what I'm talking about, I'm so proud of him and I respect him beyond limits.
It's such a shame that he thinks I blew his ego and that I have no respect for him or that I don't like him the way he is and want him to change cuz that's not True.
I DO RESPECT HIM. I DO LIKE HIM THE WAY HE IS AND I AM PROUD OF HIS DECISIONS.
I even thought perhaps I should speak to him and tell him now that I respect and am proud of him plus I appreciate his advises to me and that it was never my intention to ruin his ego or whatever.
But again I'm afraid of speaking to him now I'm just letting him be. It's been 10 days or more now that we never spoke.
Posted by Nouran20of course I hope not and I hope things work out well for you both ...Posted by tctaI don't think that's truePosted by Nouran20oh ok, well then he is very sensitive and perhaps not so much into you anymore ... so sorry ... you both sound young ?Posted by tctaI'm not nagging. I haven't said a word to him for two weeks now.
then shut up and don't speak to him and give it a while ... your constant nagging him isn't going to do it ...
But I'm 24 and he's 27click to expand
Posted by Sarah_Smile34Posted by Nouran20Aww cap moons and sag moons go together like two peas in a pod. Anytime I have an argument with my cap moon friend it is usually smoothed over after a talk. I don't think this is the end all for your relationship he just needs time to think things over.Posted by Deedee86Posted by Nouran20
Hello cap moon people I have a question for you all.
My close friend hasn't spoken to me for about two weeks over something I said to him during an argument. Now this is the longest time he has ever disappeared. And I don't know how to deal with this the right way?
I feel like I've done more than enough to fix this. I apologised and tried to convince him to meet and discuss this calmly as I believe it's a misunderstanding and I totally didnt mean what I said he just took what I said way too personal.
Anyway if you cap moons disappear into your own bubble and avoid even listening and don't accept apologies plus take aaaaages to get over a quarrel then what is that can be done to get you to listen and to get you to get over any problem —?
How to deal with this please.
Just out of curiosity, what is his sun?
He's a sag sun and I'm a Taurus sun
He's a cap moon and I'm a sag moon.
click to expand
Really? Can you please share your experience with your cap moon and what happens when you argue and after you argue? Is he too sensitive and takes things way too personal and way too deep? Are you a sag moon too btw?
I get along with my cap moon friend in almost everything and we enjoy each other's company like crazy and we barely argue and I always feel like I have to take care of him and look after him especially that he went through a few accidents recently and he was depressed about it.
The problem now is that I stopped contacting him for like two weeks now cuz I tried so many times to discuss and apologise and smooth things between us but he is resistant and last thing he said give it some time cuz I'm still mad.
I'm just afraid he wouldn't speak for way too long or maybe never. But also I feel like I've done my best and tried it's not like i gave up...and now it's his turn to initiate contact. (If he wants)
Let me know your experiences please. Thank you.
Posted by Sarah_Smile34Posted by Nouran20We have known each other almost 10 years. We dated but the friendship dynamic is so strong. He is a typical cap moon...sweet and gentle but not a man of many words. When he is disappointed by something I have said he closes himself off temporarily and then he is back to his old self. I never pressure him to talk...I learned the hard way once and the other side of him when he is not ready to talk is ugly. It is very rare though. When we have a good heart to heart is when he reveals stuff I had no clue about. Because he is so hard to read on the surface things I don't even think twice about I later find out hurt his feelings. As long as I look him in the eye and sincerely say that I am sorry he brushes it off and moves on. He too sometimes suffers from depression because he holds stuff in (stresses of work/bills etc) sometimes to the point of losing a bit of his hair. For some reason suffering in silence helps him.Posted by Sarah_Smile34Posted by Nouran20Aww cap moons and sag moons go together like two peas in a pod. Anytime I have an argument with my cap moon friend it is usually smoothed over after a talk. I don't think this is the end all for your relationship he just needs time to think things over.Posted by Deedee86Posted by Nouran20
Hello cap moon people I have a question for you all.
My close friend hasn't spoken to me for about two weeks over something I said to him during an argument. Now this is the longest time he has ever disappeared. And I don't know how to deal with this the right way?
I feel like I've done more than enough to fix this. I apologised and tried to convince him to meet and discuss this calmly as I believe it's a misunderstanding and I totally didnt mean what I said he just took what I said way too personal.
Anyway if you cap moons disappear into your own bubble and avoid even listening and don't accept apologies plus take aaaaages to get over a quarrel then what is that can be done to get you to listen and to get you to get over any problem —?
How to deal with this please.
Just out of curiosity, what is his sun?
He's a sag sun and I'm a Taurus sun
He's a cap moon and I'm a sag moon.
Really? Can you please share your experience with your cap moon and what happens when you argue and after you argue? Is he too sensitive and takes things way too personal and way too deep? Are you a sag moon too btw?
I get along with my cap moon friend in almost everything and we enjoy each other's company like crazy and we barely argue and I always feel like I have to take care of him and look after him especially that he went through a few accidents recently and he was depressed about it.
The problem now is that I stopped contacting him for like two weeks now cuz I tried so many times to discuss and apologise and smooth things between us but he is resistant and last thing he said give it some time cuz I'm still mad.
I'm just afraid he wouldn't speak for way too long or maybe never. But also I feel like I've done my best and tried it's not like i gave up...and now it's his turn to initiate contact. (If he wants)
Let me know your experiences please. Thank you.
click to expand
Wow sounds close to this guy. I'm speechless. Can I ask you two things? First of all are you still dating and if not are you close friends? You seem like perhaps you still fancy him?
Second question is when he is made and withdraws from speaking does he also ignore his responsibilities ? Like if you were in trouble or sick he wouldn't ask if your ok? Or perhaps if he argued with his mother does and she needed him to do something for herself urgently would he do it or ignore it just cuz he had an argument with her?
I need to to know if these men are responsible even while they r upset.
And finally what do u think I should do with this guy friend of mine?
Posted by starwarsI agree it sounds lame. But I'm not the one who got offended. He did because I said my honest opinion regarding what his friend did. I said his friend is not following manners and what she did is an inappropriate act that gives a bad impression about herself and that I would never accept to do such a thing. He believes that what his friend did is normal but I don't. So I said I don't care if you don't wana follow decent manners then it's up to you and your friend live your life however you want to but I prefer to follow proper lady like manners.
idk the argument sound lame tbh, why did you get offended he picked the other friend side? its his opinion
So HE GOT OFFENDED and decides that i dissed him and he thinks I'm saying you got no manners either. And that's not true. I am not even talking about him. I meant his friend's silly manners, how's that about him.
Anyways I have apologised and I tried to call him to explain to him I didn't mean him at all. I did everything I can do. I told him to meet up to calmly discuss things and improve the whole situation. I don't want us to be fighting over such a lame thing.
Plus he needs to have more trust in me cuz when I say I don't mean it then i really don't. No need to argue back oh yes you do mean to diss me...what the hell!
I love and respect him and he should know by now that I don't intend to ever hurt him.
How come last time when he said something rude to me and apologise for his wording I completely accepted his apology and moved on and made no big deal. Why is it OK for him to act like a drama queen but not OK for me ?
Plus he needs to have more trust in me cuz when I say I don't mean it then i really don't. No need to argue back oh yes you do mean to diss me...what the hell!
I love and respect him and he should know by now that I don't intend to ever hurt him.
How come last time when he said something rude to me and apologise for his wording I completely accepted his apology and moved on and made no big deal. Why is it OK for him to act like a drama queen but not OK for me ?
The longer he takes to stay silent the more mad it makes me...
Posted by starwarsI totally understand what you mean. No body would like that. I admitted my mistake and apologised for it. I've done more than just apologise. I'm sure you read what I said earlier. What else do I have to do?
its not wise to talk shit about someone' friends to them lol
at least you know he won't like it if someone talked smack about you in front of him
And plus if one thing I said unintentionally would make him forget all the million good things I've done then that's not fair?
Am I right? How can you just cut someone loose for like such a long time and not accept their apology and completely forget about all the support and love and good times we had between us over one silly thing I said.
Currently I'm giving him his own space and time to think whatever he wants to think. It's been 15 days since I last contacted him.
I'm dying to tell him happy new year but...I dunno if that's a good idea to be the one starting the conversation again after him not speaking for 15 days.
This never happened he always contacted me regurlarly. On a daily basis.
I'm dying to tell him happy new year but...I dunno if that's a good idea to be the one starting the conversation again after him not speaking for 15 days.
This never happened he always contacted me regurlarly. On a daily basis.
Posted by Heart
I'm guessing as a Taurus lady your moon is in a different element, right? Taurus and Capricorn are legendary for brooding. As a person with Taurus sun and Capricorn moon I am loyal af and wil love a person to the moon and back. With that being said if I cut a person off its likely due to what felt like a betrayal, or disrespect. A person can be flawed, leave the toilet seat up, be emotional, it doesn't matter. We love unconditionally.
Therefore if you haven't heard from him in two weeks good luck.
This is a very accurate description of me actually. Your close to me. I'm a Taurus sun and a sag moon. I'm extremely loyal. I would never let go of someone easily unless like you said if there's something huge such as betrayal. If I love it'll never change. I also feel like if there is a problem between me and someone I love them I won't be able to go on with my life normally until I solve the problem and go bk to normal. Simply cuz I can't deal with continues negativity with skmeone I love or a friend I deal with on a daily basis. Like my friend here (sag sun, cap moon)
That is why I made this blog. Cuz I'm so frustrated with him pulling away and not even listening to me for 15 days now.
It makes me depressed. Everyone is saying just leave him. But at some point I'll have to talk again and ask him to tell me his final honest decision cuz I can't go on with my life not knowing where I'm heading with him. I need to know why he cut me loose just like that Easily.
Thought i dropped a comment.
By any chance does this guy showed signs to you he likes you sexually?
By any chance does this guy showed signs to you he likes you sexually?
Posted by XephyrUmm yes...well nothing sexual happened at all but he did mention in the beginning of our friendship that he thinks im attractive and elegant lol
Thought i dropped a comment.
By any chance does this guy showed signs to you he likes you sexually?
He does seem to like me a lot. He introduced me to his cousins and mom.
By the way we made peace! But he is a little cold and distant, I believe and slightly different, like he doesn't talk to me as much as he used to or not in the same way i guess. He is a little odd I dunno why...but we did go out a few times with other friends. it was a little awkward in the car he put the music loud and we didn't speak at all. it was like awkward silence.
Last thing he said was that he thinks we are so different, opposites actually and that we haven't been agreeing on anything lately. I said is that really what you think? He was like yeah what you enjoy in life is so different your energetic and want to wonder around a lot but I want peace and settling down im not as hyper as before and he blamed it on age.
I was shocked cuz regardless of how different we think in some things I still believe there are common things between us...he is exactly my type of guy!
I dunno if he is saying that cuz he is re-considering us or cuz he just likes me and wants to get closer? I dont knoooooowww...But we are cool!!!
I am a loyal girl and i like him and I hope things work out but I just dont want to rush anything...ive known him for two years now so we are not rushing lol
Posted by Nouran20I'm positive that you have your friendship back since you guys are seeing/talking again, but it will never be the same. If I had to guess, your buddy really and i mean REALLY like you and his way of showing you that was by talking a lot to you.Posted by XephyrUmm yes...well nothing sexual happened at all but he did mention in the beginning of our friendship that he thinks im attractive and elegant lol
Thought i dropped a comment.
By any chance does this guy showed signs to you he likes you sexually?
He does seem to like me a lot. He introduced me to his cousins and mom.
By the way we made peace! But he is a little cold and distant, I believe and slightly different, like he doesn't talk to me as much as he used to or not in the same way i guess. He is a little odd I dunno why...but we did go out a few times with other friends. it was a little awkward in the car he put the music loud and we didn't speak at all. it was like awkward silence.
Last thing he said was that he thinks we are so different, opposites actually and that we haven't been agreeing on anything lately. I said is that really what you think? He was like yeah what you enjoy in life is so different your energetic and want to wonder around a lot but I want peace and settling down im not as hyper as before and he blamed it on age.
I was shocked cuz regardless of how different we think in some things I still believe there are common things between us...he is exactly my type of guy!
I dunno if he is saying that cuz he is re-considering us or cuz he just likes me and wants to get closer? I dont knoooooowww...But we are cool!!!click to expand
Somehow that argument you had between him made him realize that what he has been wanting isn't what he had expected, perhaps it broke his trust barrier. It was sort of like a wake up call to him and as time went by, he either realized that he was selfish and it was a petty thing for him to do or like someone mentioned before 100% like you decreased to 50% , possibly lower maybe even in the negatives. LOL
He probably wants to be sexual with you and doesn't know if you feel the same way or he is inexperience (he called you attractive and introduce you to his family). He is saving face because he doesn't want to be rejected. The reason he is cold/distant is to really save himself, if he continues to allow the friendship to occur it will be an everlasting loop of misery.
If you somehow harness his trust you will see amazing things from this combo times 100; the fun/silly side of Sagittarius nature and the sweet serious Capricorn moon. Ever heard of the saying "still water runs deep"?
You will uncover the deepest and darkest secrets underneath all that exterior, calmness, and peacefulness. However, with yin and yang you also see some counterparts.
If you really want the old him back, show him that YOU want him sexually. But only you are able to answer that question. But please, please don't do it just because YOU want him to his old self. Do it only if you truly believe you like this man.
That is my 2 cents, you're lucky to have 2 the bank doesn't even give me that much in a year!
Take it with a grain of salt! 🙂
Posted by XephyrPosted by Nouran20I'm positive that you have your friendship back since you guys are seeing/talking again, but it will never be the same. If I had to guess, your buddy really and i mean REALLY like you and his way of showing you that was by talking a lot to you.Posted by XephyrUmm yes...well nothing sexual happened at all but he did mention in the beginning of our friendship that he thinks im attractive and elegant lol
Thought i dropped a comment.
By any chance does this guy showed signs to you he likes you sexually?
He does seem to like me a lot. He introduced me to his cousins and mom.
By the way we made peace! But he is a little cold and distant, I believe and slightly different, like he doesn't talk to me as much as he used to or not in the same way i guess. He is a little odd I dunno why...but we did go out a few times with other friends. it was a little awkward in the car he put the music loud and we didn't speak at all. it was like awkward silence.
Last thing he said was that he thinks we are so different, opposites actually and that we haven't been agreeing on anything lately. I said is that really what you think? He was like yeah what you enjoy in life is so different your energetic and want to wonder around a lot but I want peace and settling down im not as hyper as before and he blamed it on age.
I was shocked cuz regardless of how different we think in some things I still believe there are common things between us...he is exactly my type of guy!
I dunno if he is saying that cuz he is re-considering us or cuz he just likes me and wants to get closer? I dont knoooooowww...But we are cool!!!
Somehow that argument you had between him made him realize that what he has been wanting isn't what he had expected, perhaps it broke his trust barrier. It was sort of like a wake up call to him and as time went by, he either realized that he was selfish and it was a petty thing for him to do or like someone mentioned before 100% like you decreased to 50% , possibly lower maybe even in the negatives. LOL
He probably wants to be sexual with you and doesn't know if you feel the same way or he is inexperience (he called you attractive and introduce you to his family). He is saving face because he doesn't want to be rejected. The reason he is cold/distant is to really save himself, if he continues to allow the friendship to occur it will be an everlasting loop of misery.
If you somehow harness his trust you will see amazing things from this combo times 100; the fun/silly side of Sagittarius nature and the sweet serious Capricorn moon. Ever heard of the saying "still water runs deep"?
You will uncover the deepest and darkest secrets underneath all that exterior, calmness, and peacefulness. However, with yin and yang you also see some counterparts.
If you really want the old him back, show him that YOU want him sexually. But only you are able to answer that question. But please, please don't do it just because YOU want him to his old self. Do it only if you truly believe you like this man.
That is my 2 cents, you're lucky to have 2 the bank doesn't even give me that much in a year!
Take it with a grain of salt! 🙂
Thank you so much for the reply.
I know it took a while to reply but I was giving it time to see what will happen between us so I can have something to update you all on.
We are going just fine and our friendship is so much better and I can pretty much say he is like his old self. I can tell he really likes me and i really like him too that is why i really wanted him to act just like before. So far we spoke about our 'problems' I promised him i wont say anything that will upset him and will do my best to think before i say something while angry. He was also upset that I judged his friends (girls) and again after a long argument on the phone of me trying to argue back that I didn't judge them I just didn't like how they behave and bla bla...I said sorry if I judged your friends and I won't mention them again. I closed the arguments once and for all and we agreed not to open those arguments again. To accept each other the way we are peacefully.
Surprisingly after that phone call I thought he will withdraw but he didn't he texted me saying our friendship mean a lot to him and I told him the same thing, that I don't want any tension between us because he means a lot to me too. Since then our talks are sweet and we are going to start to go to the gym together to motivate each other.
Nothing sexual at all so far! We come from a country where that comes after marriage. So he doesn't ask for it neither do I not at this stage. But I am trying to show him I like him a little but I am not too forward.
So far he is not expressing himself emotionally and keeping himself as only a 'friend'
But he did tell me that I am more than a close friend to him and i loved that.
I guess BOTH of us dont know how to take this a step further I guess I need to still be patient until we both fully gain trust for one another and show him that I won't say anything hurtful...I have more control over myself now...cuz i like him a lot. But Im afraid...that things might not go well as a couple? I don't know if we are an ideal match for longterm relationship
Note: I don't think he is inexperienced he had a few GFs and most his friends are girls too. Another, thing i know his cousins and mom and they all love me 🙂
click to expand
Posted by SeraphCutenessThank you for the sweet message 🙂Posted by Nouran20I am a cap moon. Firstly I am really sorry you are hurting. I understand things can be taken up wrong. It happens. I am cancer so i understand that.
Hello cap moon people I have a question for you all.
My close friend hasn't spoken to me for about two weeks over something I said to him during an argument. Now this is the longest time he has ever disappeared. And I don't know how to deal with this the right way?
I feel like I've done more than enough to fix this. I apologised and tried to convince him to meet and discuss this calmly as I believe it's a misunderstanding and I totally didnt mean what I said he just took what I said way too personal.
Anyway if you cap moons disappear into your own bubble and avoid even listening and don't accept apologies plus take aaaaages to get over a quarrel then what is that can be done to get you to listen and to get you to get over any problem —?
How to deal with this please.
I would always however try and work on things and make the feelings in the friendship feel good again.
Just reach out or tell him even if he doesn't get back now you are here when he is ready.
I have a funny feeling it will work itself out for you. These thing usually do. And hopefully it will be all over in a little while.
It can't be easy for you. But i feel if the friendship is true it will survive 🙂
🤗
Hugs xxclick to expand
I guess it really is surviving...I really like him and I don't wana lose him at all.
Posted by SeraphCutenessOh no not at all he is not rushing into sex at all.
Oh dear I didn't know it had a romantic element to the situation. Tread carefully.
Do you think he cannot be as much a friend to you without the chance of romance. If that is so ....it changes things. It's not fair on yourself. Unless you actually like him too. I don't think you do from the sounds of it though.
If you really like him. This doesn't mean you have to rush into sex. A true gentleman will wait. He will want to build affectionate feelings and connect with your heart first.
So just because you like him doesn't mean you owe him sex and if he goes could because of waiting he doesn't like you in a mature loving way.
We talk everyday now. He is acting more like himself and things are going in a good direction although we argued a little...he doesn't like it when I speak badly about a certain girl he knows he thinks I am being judgemental. Although I don't mean to be judgemental or anything I just told him he deserves to be around better people. But anyway I promised him I won't mention it again if it upsets him.
So now we speak everyday and the conversations are great. We are motivating each other to go to the gym together. I do like him a lot!
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I got this idea from a convo with @damnata
if you were separated by moon sign and temporarily assigned to live with the people on dxpnet with the same moon sign as you
would you be excited or devastated?
what would your moons house look like?
i
My ex, Pisces sun/Scorpio moon, keeps coming back. Is this a common trait of you guys?
The last time I physically see him was the end of April, about 5 months after we split up. He just randomly popped up and I eventually agreed to go over and see him
What sun/moon women?
I was dating a Cancer sun Gemini moon but she was too superficial for me and was always complaining about my possessive behavior.
I had a GF who was a Libra (idk her moon) she didn`t care about my possessiveness but I hated her
with 10 awards
thats right count it .....10 awards!
The only Time my LOL was literal :
Sexiest DXP Personality
Most Artistic User
DXP King 2016 :
Best Female Cancer 2016
Best Female Pisces 2016
Best Female Gemini 2016
Best Female Aries 2
So when I start talking to a guy if he begins txting me everyday i end up not liking him, eventually when the guy leaves me alone I wonder where he has gone and drive myself crazy. Any other aqua moons only like people who no longer like them?
Strictly for Pisces moon! How are you guys feeling lately? Be specific , thank u ?
So Virgo suns apparently get called out for mirroring peoples expressions and stuff.
Would you say you guys have a tendency to mirror peoples emotions?
Like- If someone is upset- are you upset?
Or if someone likes you- Do you automatically like
Have a sit and drink our fine nectar.
What do you crave from your partner? Emotionally, physically, and mentally.
State your sun, rising, and Venus.
My friends moon is 29 degrees In Aries.. Does this mean she is on the cusp of a Taurus moon?
I know you guys are tired of scorpio moon trends but I need some advice here.
I have not one but six of my best friends are moon in Scorpio and I just found out my current boyfriend has also a Scorp moon...so yeah haha.
There are the best and intense
I have a few scorpio moons in my life. I myself have no planets in water. Any specific tips on how i can be the best friend/girlfriend for them?
Thanks :)
Must be a Leo Moon to enter.
Cancer moons and their baby faces
*dem feels* look
https://s21.postimg.org/4vk3qmgrb/3c2cb506fb7d6efbd9d169190c4f4d3e.jpg
https://s13.postimg.org/o1cmsml87/29aa1230716d_original.png
https://s21.postimg.org/xir0f4s5z/2_Rachel_bilson_feature_photo
I just signed up for this... and I don't know much about astrology.My birth chart says I am a Capricorn moon but from what I've read so far online I'm not really satisfied .Most say we are unemotional but I am, I am just good at hiding my feelings...so ma
What's the deal guys, how long does it last? I got betrayed by someone close to me and I can't feel much or anything for them. It's so strange to go from really loving and caring about someone to nothing.
Basically we had a stupid argument over somethi
lets hear it !
Need to figure out the moon, might have miscalculated something and need to try manual identification instead.
.....they are my favourite!
https://cdn.meme.am/cache/instances/folder840/500x/31293840.jpg
My close friend hasn't spoken to me for about two weeks over something I said to him during an argument. Now this is the longest time he has ever disappeared. And I don't know how to deal with this the right way?
I feel like I've done more than enough to fix this. I apologised and tried to convince him to meet and discuss this calmly as I believe it's a misunderstanding and I totally didnt mean what I said he just took what I said way too personal.
Anyway if you cap moons disappear into your own bubble and avoid even listening and don't accept apologies plus take aaaaages to get over a quarrel then what is that can be done to get you to listen and to get you to get over any problem —?
How to deal with this please.