Diagnose me! Why do I get so freaking attached?

Virgo sun/Scorpio moon totally destroyed me when he decided not to marry me.

Pisces sun/Taurus moon - first husband

Aries sun /Cap moon - 20 years & probably love of my life

Cap Sun/Virgo moon - ugh you all know the story. It feels like a repeat of the Aries in many ways & he triggers me in my issues.

Then there’s the Leo sun/Pisces moon .. not quite the same but hard to detach from too.

These were the attachments, others were much easier. But not as important to me.

Here’s my chart:

"woman"

Posted by _Dazed

"woman"

😂😂😂 that was helpful

@MyStarShine

@Black-Mamba

here you go.

A pisces is attached to me at the moment and she has turned my life upside down , in a good way I guess.

Edit...Moon in the first, like Aries moon but stuff in the 12th gives a watery Pisces feel

Posted by o110

seems like you’re not that much attached to a particular person rather than the idea of being with someone and I can totally relate to this

looking from the bright side, you’ve gotten quite a lot of opportunities to fall in love, I don’t think that’s bad, not at all...

Well Virgo & the Aries I was very very in love with. Pisces & Cap you are possibly correct. But definitely love there, but dealing with loss both times. Roughly 30 years apart. Leo is much more complicated. It’s possible it was more his love than mine. More friends to me, that went deeper. I was at one time his unrequited love.

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

I don't know. I might look at the chart again later to see if something pops out. I just wanted to say *hug*.

Thanks! ❤️

Its only a bad thing cause you've attached yourself to dudes who don't work out. Honestly its a good thing your open to love. I call that an asset. Chin up lady.

Posted by MyStarsShine

Moon in the first, like Cancer rising and stuff in the 12th gives a watery Cancer/Pisces feel

Ugh so watery for hardly any water!

I’ve always had “big” emotions.. how to handle is tough. And it was much better with Virgo & Leo because they understand them. With the other three I had to shut them down.. But I’m connected greatly to these earth placements 😳 what to do with that?

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Posted by MyStarsShine

Moon in the first, like Cancer rising and stuff in the 12th gives a watery Cancer/Pisces feel

Ugh so watery for hardly any water!

I’ve always had “big” emotions.. how to handle is tough. And it was much better with Virgo & Leo because they understand them. With the other three I had to shut them down.. But I’m connected greatly to these earth placements 😳 what to do with that?

click to expand

...and.....*drumroll....

Pluto in 8th 😱

One of the most intense placements......obsessive with intimacy

Posted by LadyNeptune

Its only a bad thing cause you've attached yourself to dudes who don't work out. Honestly its a good thing your open to love. I call that an asset. Chin up lady.

Thanks 🙂 ❤️ I’ve had a hard time since the Aries.. and well now he’s really sick & im having a hard time with that. But, I am a lot healthier and like you said open to love. I just have to know when they are the wrong dude faster, better or something.

Pluto opposite Chiron

Difficulty in managing emotions and the painful feelings they evoke

💙

Posted by Black-Mamba

limerance

Were you abandoned as a child by a parent

Emotionally yes, physically no. Emotional/verbal abuse by a stepparent, mom looked the other way, and dad was so messed up by the divorce he was emotionally unavailable & a Cap. Virgo taught me what love was & than decided I couldn’t be his wife after all cuz I was too independent & that destroyed me. I guess it was for the best but I didn’t understand then. All I knew was he took his love away & then tortured me by keep coming back cuz he missed me. Sounds like the Cap too yes?

I’ve done a lot of therapy & dealt with it all. You’d think I could deal with the lessons & the triggers better. 🤦‍♀️ Then I’m pissed at myself. But try to get back to self care cuz beating yourself up does no good to anyone.. oy

Posted by MyStarsShine

Pluto opposite Chiron

Difficulty in managing emotions and the painful feelings they evoke

💙

Damn Pluto

Thanks @MyStarsShine

That all makes sense. I’m just not so sure what to do about it except be careful about who I let in to my heart. Perhaps aqua moon being hesitant is a good thing.. I need a bigger wall after all this opening up 🤦‍♀️

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Thanks @MyStarsShine

That all makes sense. I’m just not so sure what to do about it except be careful about who I let in to my heart. Perhaps aqua moon being hesitant is a good thing.. I need a bigger wall after all this opening up 🤦‍♀️

I was the same....water, Venus, Pluto dominant

The guys I let in weren't bad at all, just humans, but I never felt safe or as if things were enough. It was then i realised it was me and my unrealistical expectations ....so I did deep and transformational healing on myself and now I've decided to stay single and feel safe .... and free. I'm not sure how I'd be in a rship but stay open to the possibility....maybe? ❤️

Borderline Personality Disorder

But I say that about most women

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Posted by _Dazed

"woman"

😂😂😂 that was helpful

click to expand

He always is. 😂 Man...

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Thanks @MyStarsShine

That all makes sense. I’m just not so sure what to do about it except be careful about who I let in to my heart. Perhaps aqua moon being hesitant is a good thing.. I need a bigger wall after all this opening up 🤦‍♀️

I was the same....water, Venus, Pluto dominant

The guys I let in weren't bad at all, just humans, but I never felt safe or as if things were enough. It was then i realised it was me and my unrealistical expectations ....so I did deep and transformational healing on myself and now I've decided to stay single and feel safe .... and free. I'm not sure how I'd be in a rship but stay open to the possibility....maybe? ❤️

click to expand

Yeah none of them are bad humans. The only one that was questionable was the Pisces. I really miss having a partner, but I cannot do it unless it is a good situation for me. The emotions become overwhelming and to find my peace I end up alone. I guess I just haven’t given up on the possibility though. Of all, the Leo has been my safest place. It’s really too bad it’s impossible.

Posted by enfant_terrible

Borderline Personality Disorder

But I say that about most women

🙄 The term was anxiety attachment disorder from a psychologist actually. I have made tremendous progress. It does not help when males refuse to communicate and try to work through things. According to the psychologist most of couples issues are related to One with avoidant attachment issues & one with anxiety attachment issues. It was the case with all of these relationships except the Leo.

Posted by Alexina

Those signs in your planets are known for being the most detached signs: Sagittarius, Aquarius, Capricorn, Virgo...

You also don't have any aspects between Venus and Pluto, and Moon and Pluto

Maybe it isn't really the chart but just YOU...

That’s why the post happened. A couple of people wanted to check out why. Look at MyStarsShine answers..

Posted by Armor

You're a sagittarius with an air moon! You have that free spirit, you probably just have to try harder. 😌

Wow, wish I had some tricks to share but I think I shared those on my old account and I honestly forgot most of the things I do. IDK, I became a pro at detaching myself it comes naturally to me now. Maybe loving your solitude and always reminding yourself that you're perfectly and happily functional on your own I guess, also just analyzing tf out of your feelings will probably help a lot too, like, providing whatever you think a certain relationship gives you as person for yourself instead of trying to rely on that certain person, y'know? IDK if any of this makes sense but oh well. 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

Ok. I do t mean anything as I am going to say as disrespect but I have to say for me NO it doesn’t make NO fucking sense! Sorry...

Woman says she wants to have a warm caring partner and telling her to find happiness in solitude is like...let’s say you craving pizza and you getting grits! Reaction is: WTF? 🤦‍♀️

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Posted by enfant_terrible

Borderline Personality Disorder

But I say that about most women

🙄 The term was anxiety attachment disorder from a psychologist actually. I have made tremendous progress. It does not help when males refuse to communicate and try to work through things. According to the psychologist most of couples issues are related to One with avoidant attachment issues & one with anxiety attachment issues. It was the case with all of these relationships except the Leo.

click to expand

So I was right about the 'personality disorder' part. I swear it's like a sixth sense with me lol

😔💔



Do I dare say aqua moon

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Posted by enfant_terrible

Borderline Personality Disorder

But I say that about most women

🙄 The term was anxiety attachment disorder from a psychologist actually. I have made tremendous progress. It does not help when males refuse to communicate and try to work through things. According to the psychologist most of couples issues are related to One with avoidant attachment issues & one with anxiety attachment issues. It was the case with all of these relationships except the Leo.

click to expand

What was said about anxiety attachment to you? Anything you can do?

I think if anyone went to those specialists we all would get something wrong with anyone of us.

I’ll google that...

Ok google said:

Pursuers with an anxious style are usually disinterested in someone available with a secure style . They usually attract someone who is avoidant. The anxiety of an insecure attachment is enlivening and familiar, though it's uncomfortable and makes them more anxious.

—————————————————

Are you disinterested in men with secure style ? (whatever that means...)

Posted by ELIGAB

😔💔



Do I dare say aqua moon

What about Aqua moon? Please do tell. 🙏🏻

Posted by HearttofTopazz

I highly doubt it has anything to do with astrology.

Care to elaborate, smartaz? 👿👀

Posted by Armor

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Armor

You're a sagittarius with an air moon! You have that free spirit, you probably just have to try harder. 😌

Wow, wish I had some tricks to share but I think I shared those on my old account and I honestly forgot most of the things I do. IDK, I became a pro at detaching myself it comes naturally to me now. Maybe loving your solitude and always reminding yourself that you're perfectly and happily functional on your own I guess, also just analyzing tf out of your feelings will probably help a lot too, like, providing whatever you think a certain relationship gives you as person for yourself instead of trying to rely on that certain person, y'know? IDK if any of this makes sense but oh well. 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

Ok. I do t mean anything as I am going to say as disrespect but I have to say for me NO it doesn’t make NO fucking sense! Sorry...

Woman says she wants to have a warm caring partner and telling her to find happiness in solitude is like...let’s say you craving pizza and you getting grits! Reaction is: WTF? 🤦‍♀️

Lol aww love it when you're being considerate of my feelings, I mean, yes it might not make sense but it does to me in a way? 😂

It's just that all these relationships are important but not important enough to be stuck living in the past for them. IMO it's wayyyyy healthier to be in a relationship when a person is comfortable being on their own, because then it's less needing and more wanting. 🤷🏻‍♀️

click to expand

Youve asked for it! 👿

She said she fucking WANT IT!!!

And WTF is being comfortable on their own is the key to the healthier RELASHIONSHIPS— Like...WHAAAAT—

Aren’t we learning from shitty rships?

What are we learning from being alone except wondering ‘am I ugly?’...

Jiiiizzzs!!!!

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Posted by enfant_terrible

Borderline Personality Disorder

But I say that about most women

🙄 The term was anxiety attachment disorder from a psychologist actually. I have made tremendous progress. It does not help when males refuse to communicate and try to work through things. According to the psychologist most of couples issues are related to One with avoidant attachment issues & one with anxiety attachment issues. It was the case with all of these relationships except the Leo.

So I was right about the 'personality disorder' part. I swear it's like a sixth sense with me lol

click to expand

No that is not a personality disorder.. everyone has baggage. Attachment is different

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Posted by enfant_terrible

Borderline Personality Disorder

But I say that about most women

🙄 The term was anxiety attachment disorder from a psychologist actually. I have made tremendous progress. It does not help when males refuse to communicate and try to work through things. According to the psychologist most of couples issues are related to One with avoidant attachment issues & one with anxiety attachment issues. It was the case with all of these relationships except the Leo.

So I was right about the 'personality disorder' part. I swear it's like a sixth sense with me lol

No that is not a personality disorder.. everyone has baggage. Attachment is different

click to expand

So you're telling me I got 'disorder' right

Posted by Gemitati

Ok google said:

Pursuers with an anxious style are usually disinterested in someone available with a secure style . They usually attract someone who is avoidant. The anxiety of an insecure attachment is enlivening and familiar, though it's uncomfortable and makes them more anxious.

—————————————————

Are you disinterested in men with secure style ? (whatever that means...)

I don’t think that’s correct for me. I would do much better in a secure attachment environment. Instead of someone avoiding me, and not communicating.

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Posted by enfant_terrible

Borderline Personality Disorder

But I say that about most women

🙄 The term was anxiety attachment disorder from a psychologist actually. I have made tremendous progress. It does not help when males refuse to communicate and try to work through things. According to the psychologist most of couples issues are related to One with avoidant attachment issues & one with anxiety attachment issues. It was the case with all of these relationships except the Leo.

So I was right about the 'personality disorder' part. I swear it's like a sixth sense with me lol

No that is not a personality disorder.. everyone has baggage. Attachment is different

So you're telling me I got 'disorder' right

click to expand

That’s pretty shitty. Thanks for being a jerk.

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Posted by Gemitati

Ok google said:

Pursuers with an anxious style are usually disinterested in someone available with a secure style . They usually attract someone who is avoidant. The anxiety of an insecure attachment is enlivening and familiar, though it's uncomfortable and makes them more anxious.

—————————————————

Are you disinterested in men with secure style ? (whatever that means...)

I don’t think that’s correct for me. I would do much better in a secure attachment environment. Instead of someone avoiding me, and not communicating.

click to expand

So doctor being bullshitting you!

They made up diagnoses I think...

Posted by ELIGAB

😔💔



Do I dare say aqua moon

Ugh.. that’s what I thought initially. But somehow everyone thinks aqua moon is a detached placement..

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Posted by Gemitati

Ok google said:

Pursuers with an anxious style are usually disinterested in someone available with a secure style . They usually attract someone who is avoidant. The anxiety of an insecure attachment is enlivening and familiar, though it's uncomfortable and makes them more anxious.

—————————————————

Are you disinterested in men with secure style ? (whatever that means...)

I don’t think that’s correct for me. I would do much better in a secure attachment environment. Instead of someone avoiding me, and not communicating.

So doctor being bullshitting you!

They made up diagnoses I think...

click to expand

My ex was definitely avoidant & obviously Cap too. I think it really is pretty reasonable to get anxious when your partner refuses to communicate with you & avoids you. And no it’s not what I want. It is what I was raised in though.

Posted by Armor

You're a sagittarius with an air moon! You have that free spirit, you probably just have to try harder. 😌

Wow, wish I had some tricks to share but I think I shared those on my old account and I honestly forgot most of the things I do. IDK, I became a pro at detaching myself it comes naturally to me now. Maybe loving your solitude and always reminding yourself that you're perfectly and happily functional on your own I guess, also just analyzing tf out of your feelings will probably help a lot too, like, providing whatever you think a certain relationship gives you as person for yourself instead of trying to rely on that certain person, y'know? IDK if any of this makes sense but oh well. 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

Actually I do all that. I will be fine by myself, but I do like being in a partnership too. I’ve worked a lot on being alone since my divorce. I’ve done a ton of personal growth and working through things. After 20 years with someone, learning to be on your own has been quite a process. I do feel deeply & am quite intense. I think that’s the Capricorn. I think he & I connect through that and perhaps it’s too much for both of us. I don’t really want to be completely alone for the rest of my life but I don’t have to be with someone all the time either. Does that make sense?

Posted by LadyNeptune

Its only a bad thing cause you've attached yourself to dudes who don't work out. Honestly its a good thing your open to love. I call that an asset. Chin up lady.

Yes, I think that's pretty amazing. I can't even fathom trying to even let that wall down to say "i love you to someone".

I do, however, hope to work on that and face it.

Posted by WateryGem

Posted by LadyNeptune

Its only a bad thing cause you've attached yourself to dudes who don't work out. Honestly its a good thing your open to love. I call that an asset. Chin up lady.

Yes, I think that's pretty amazing. I can't even fathom trying to even let that wall down to say "i love you to someone".

I do, however, hope to work on that and face it.

click to expand

WTF is ‘I love you to someone’ means? Lol

Posted by MacDaddyInfinite

Depends on what you mean by attachative. Who do you attach to? Most attachment related disorders are more defined by who you're NOT attached to, than the other way around.

Like me, I'm diagnosed with Attachment Reactive Disorder. Which means that with most people I am abnormally detached, but when I do get involved romantically I become mega attached... and I subconsciously attract people who will betray me so that in the big picture, I end up right back at ground 0 all alone and unattached.

I'm used to being alone, I have learned I can only really rely on my family and myself. My natural urges tell me to find someone but, in the end I redirect myself back to being alone because that's the way things feel natural and safe to me.

I probably could develop a true attachment. I mean I have that with my family. But I grew up with them, spent my whole life with them. It would take someone truly committed and having been around a while. Point being, I may seem codependent IN relationships. But that's overshadowed by how little I attach to people overall.

Oh you’re right. What I’m talking about is anxiety attachment style , not disorder. Attachment disorder would be more having trouble attaching.

Posted by stope

Not one mention of the recent Libra. He must have been really boring lol.

He wasn’t boring, he became disrespectful. So, I dumped him. I definitely was not attached to him.

Your north node is conjunct tightly to your descendant.

The thought of having a good and happy relationship is always in your head I guess. Like you won't be satisfied till you achieved that?

Posted by AerialView

Your north node is conjunct tightly to your descendant.

The thought of having a good and happy relationship is always in your head I guess. Like you won't be satisfied till you achieved that?

That is true since my divorce. Before that no, I thought he was the one. I put a lot of effort into making that happen. But, I finally realized it takes two.

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Posted by AerialView

Your north node is conjunct tightly to your descendant.

The thought of having a good and happy relationship is always in your head I guess. Like you won't be satisfied till you achieved that?

That is true since my divorce. Before that no, I thought he was the one. I put a lot of effort into making that happen. But, I finally realized it takes two.

click to expand

The n.node aspect that Aerial mentioned is very poignant. Do you remember how we talked about going for a nurturing man, well the node is in Cancer....so to be satisfied in a rship, you're destiny is to move away from the south Node Cap energy you came in with, towards the sign on the 7th house cusp.

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Posted by AerialView

Your north node is conjunct tightly to your descendant.

The thought of having a good and happy relationship is always in your head I guess. Like you won't be satisfied till you achieved that?

That is true since my divorce. Before that no, I thought he was the one. I put a lot of effort into making that happen. But, I finally realized it takes two.

click to expand

Well it's hard to acknowledge North Node when we were young.

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

I'm going to blame Pluto in the 8th as well. Also, I think having a bunch of planets in the first house can make figuring out one's identity and how it relates to other identities difficult, not easy, as you might expect.

From my personal point of view, you seem to be always dating someone new. I'm sure it doesn't seem that way to you. You're living your life, so you feel the gaps more, but you probably post about starting to date someone new (or rekindle with someone from your past) more than almost anyone else here. What's the rush?

It's her north node cancer in the 7th

I need, need, need....

😛

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

I'm going to blame Pluto in the 8th as well. Also, I think having a bunch of planets in the first house can make figuring out one's identity and how it relates to other identities difficult, not easy, as you might expect.

From my personal point of view, you seem to be always dating someone new. I'm sure it doesn't seem that way to you. You're living your life, so you feel the gaps more, but you probably post about starting to date someone new (or rekindle with someone from your past) more than almost anyone else here. What's the rush?

Oh posting here was about understanding my life, people, myself, etc. I’ve been divorced 7 years. It’s not exactly a big rush. It’s more like not figuring it out, and dating along the way. It’s just interesting to me how astrology relates so I want to understand more about Libras, Caps, etc. it’s been a weird 7 years. Always someone new, would it be better to be alone for 7 years or be out in the world meeting people, enjoying life. I’m alone so much at times, friends drag me out. Lol I just haven’t found anyone I’m willing to have a relationship with long term ( well besides the Cap). Before this 7 years, I had very little gaps actually. So this time period is very strange to me & needs understanding. Lol

Posted by Ellygant

Mars in Capricorn conjunct your ascendant.

Mars opposite North Node.

North Node in cancer, conjunct descendant.

Plus sun in the 12th.

All together, you find yourself enmeshing into relationships, giving your identity over to the other person. You often pick people that don’t have your best interest, and end up taking a lot without being able to replenish what they take. Even if they’re well intentioned, you still always come out on the bad side of the bargain.

This is due to a deep discomfort with love, comfort and affection you’ve carried with you all your life. It’s far more comfortable for you to be detached, non affectionate and non expressive as that’s how you most readily see the world and express yourself in it. However this is the opposite of what your deepest life lesson asks of you. In order to bring balance to your relationships, you shouldn’t ask ‘why do I get so attached?’ Instead you should ask ‘why am I so uncomfortable being attached?’

There’s also a bit of a wound around having to be both father and mother, to yourself and possibly to your children/kids. Affection, openness and expressing emotion is made harder by the fact you often are put in the position of being the strong and rational one, and you have a hard time reconciling strength and logic with vulnerability and emotional expression. You can be both strong and vulnerable, rational and emotionally expressive. It will take a lot of willpower on you’re part to integrate that though, as it requires you rewrite the way you see the world and yourself.

Wow you are amazing. It’s all right on. It’s so hard to be attached because I can’t lose myself again. So you can’t go all in when you’re not picking people that will be good for you. That is what I’ve been working on over the last 7 years. Sometimes I wonder if that integration is impossible, but once you travel along that road you can’t go back. It’s always forward movement.

I guess I kinda understand the rewrite how I see myself & the world. I’m just not there yet.

That's a nice chart you got there