hippiecrite
@hippiecrite
8 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 120 · Posts: 1056 · Topics: 4
How do you make closure?
Posted by AwesomelyFunny you should mention. I had a dog for 16yrs and had to put her down in August. That, I’ve found peace with. The death of a close relative or a relationship that wasn’t allowed to come to it’s natural conclusion? Not so much.Posted by hippiecriteIf your dog dies then getting a new dog is the only way to get over that pain. Slow and steady things get back to normal.
I overstay.
A lady always knows when to leave and nobody’s ever accused me of being a lady. Even if things go bad, I stay in a relationship until I borderline hate that person, and I mean platonic, romantic or otherwise. I work through all the nuances and *then* I’m fully prepared for the goodbye.
But there have been a few instances where that was not afforded to me and my fixed placements still have trouble dealing with that.
Be it the death of a loved one or a significant relationship that didn’t go as planned, how did you find your peace?click to expand
I took your response to be similar to, “the best way to get over X is to get under Y”, but I think there’s more to it than that.
Posted by AwesomelyThat’s unfortunate. I’m a firm believer in communication, but it takes two to tango. In the case of the deceased or a party that isn’t willing to be a sounding board, that can be hard to do.Posted by hippiecriteI once tried to find that "MORE to it" thing... and she called me a psycho. #TrueStoryPosted by AwesomelyFunny you should mention. I had a dog for 16yrs and had to put her down in August. That, I’ve found peace with. The death of a close relative or a relationship that wasn’t allowed to come to it’s natural conclusion? Not so much.Posted by hippiecriteIf your dog dies then getting a new dog is the only way to get over that pain. Slow and steady things get back to normal.
I overstay.
A lady always knows when to leave and nobody’s ever accused me of being a lady. Even if things go bad, I stay in a relationship until I borderline hate that person, and I mean platonic, romantic or otherwise. I work through all the nuances and *then* I’m fully prepared for the goodbye.
But there have been a few instances where that was not afforded to me and my fixed placements still have trouble dealing with that.
Be it the death of a loved one or a significant relationship that didn’t go as planned, how did you find your peace?
I took your response to be similar to, “the best way to get over X is to get under Y”, but I think there’s more to it than that.
click to expand
The funny thing is, communication comes quite hard for me, but I’ve grown to find honesty the best policy. I thought I was late to the game, but when it comes down to it, most people are lacking in that area. You’d think something that’s been drilled into us since kindergarten would have caught hold by now.
So have you given up on trying to solve those sorts of issues with external stimuli? Do you see it as something that has to be done yourself? With the right person/circumstance, are you still open to communication?
Posted by hippiecriteUnfortunately, only time will give peace
I overstay.
A lady always knows when to leave and nobody’s ever accused me of being a lady. Even if things go bad, I stay in a relationship until I borderline hate that person, and I mean platonic, romantic or otherwise. I work through all the nuances and *then* I’m fully prepared for the goodbye.
But there have been a few instances where that was not afforded to me and my fixed placements still have trouble dealing with that.
Be it the death of a loved one or a significant relationship that didn’t go as planned, how did you find your peace?
dont rush yourself
its already huge from you to admit a significant relationship didnt go as planned... but it will take years to find peace with it....until then, you fight to stay sane and be the person you were/are before this.... and give another chance to hope (hope meaning you can be still be romantic and understanding with the significant other) because you know, that a significant other will never ever met a person like you and they will be under your spell for a long time as well - for them its not easy as well, their struggle with a scorp moon can be a lifetime, you know
the curse of brain and deep emotions and fixed planets
Posted by AwesomelyMind telling your Mercury?Posted by hippiecriteI truly believe communication is the key. Yeah, that was unfortunate and the girl was a Capricorn. She eventually came back though but things were never the same.Posted by AwesomelyThat’s unfortunate. I’m a firm believer in communication, but it takes two to tango. In the case of the deceased or a party that isn’t willing to be a sounding board, that can be hard to do.Posted by hippiecriteI once tried to find that "MORE to it" thing... and she called me a psycho. #TrueStoryPosted by AwesomelyFunny you should mention. I had a dog for 16yrs and had to put her down in August. That, I’ve found peace with. The death of a close relative or a relationship that wasn’t allowed to come to it’s natural conclusion? Not so much.Posted by hippiecriteIf your dog dies then getting a new dog is the only way to get over that pain. Slow and steady things get back to normal.
I overstay.
A lady always knows when to leave and nobody’s ever accused me of being a lady. Even if things go bad, I stay in a relationship until I borderline hate that person, and I mean platonic, romantic or otherwise. I work through all the nuances and *then* I’m fully prepared for the goodbye.
But there have been a few instances where that was not afforded to me and my fixed placements still have trouble dealing with that.
Be it the death of a loved one or a significant relationship that didn’t go as planned, how did you find your peace?
I took your response to be similar to, “the best way to get over X is to get under Y”, but I think there’s more to it than that.
The funny thing is, communication comes quite hard for me, but I’ve grown to find honesty the best policy. I thought I was late to the game, but when it comes down to it, most people are lacking in that area. You’d think something that’s been drilled into us since kindergarten would have caught hold by now.
I completely agree with the second paragraph. I sometimes think people are way to selfish. lolclick to expand
It’s nice to hear a fella say he values communication. I feel it the key to most healthy relationships. Particularly if one can take the emotion out of it and state things as fact, or fact as they see it, without all the messy... accusatory bits.
Suppose that only leaves the question of closure with the deceased. Which, to be honest, I knew was gonna be a rough one.
Posted by AwesomelyMind sharing the backstory?Posted by hippiecriteIf your dog dies then getting a new dog is the only way to get over that pain. Slow and steady things get back to normal.
I overstay.
A lady always knows when to leave and nobody’s ever accused me of being a lady. Even if things go bad, I stay in a relationship until I borderline hate that person, and I mean platonic, romantic or otherwise. I work through all the nuances and *then* I’m fully prepared for the goodbye.
But there have been a few instances where that was not afforded to me and my fixed placements still have trouble dealing with that.
Be it the death of a loved one or a significant relationship that didn’t go as planned, how did you find your peace?click to expand
Posted by Pandora101I’m very happy in my current relationship, don’t get me wrong, but there were two things that had to go wrong for it to go right. Two people that, in my mind, can’t be simply written off. Or maybe they should. I don’t know. They’re both a weird mix of “I’m sorry” and “Thank you”, but not necessarily in the best context of those phrases, if that makes sense.Posted by hippiecriteUnfortunately, only time will give peace
I overstay.
A lady always knows when to leave and nobody’s ever accused me of being a lady. Even if things go bad, I stay in a relationship until I borderline hate that person, and I mean platonic, romantic or otherwise. I work through all the nuances and *then* I’m fully prepared for the goodbye.
But there have been a few instances where that was not afforded to me and my fixed placements still have trouble dealing with that.
Be it the death of a loved one or a significant relationship that didn’t go as planned, how did you find your peace?
dont rush yourself
its already huge from you to admit a significant relationship didnt go as planned... but it will take years to find peace with it....until then, you fight to stay sane and be the person you were/are before this.... and give another chance to hope (hope meaning you can be still be romantic and understanding with the significant other) because you know, that a significant other will never ever met a person like you and they will be under your spell for a long time as well - for them its not easy as well, their struggle with a scorp moon can be a lifetime, you know
the curse of brain and deep emotions and fixed planetsclick to expand
But yeah, mom’s just gonna take time. In retrospect, those are the kind of relationships you need to make right *before* it’s too late. The downside is you never know when that’s gonna be.
Posted by hippiecritewho is the first person (from the people you mentioned) you think of when you listen to this? scorp moonPosted by Pandora101I’m very happy in my current relationship, don’t get me wrong, but there were two things that had to go wrong for it to go right. Two people that, in my mind, can’t be simply written off. Or maybe they should. I don’t know. They’re both a weird mix of “I’m sorry” and “Thank you”, but not necessarily in the best context of those phrases, if that makes sense.Posted by hippiecriteUnfortunately, only time will give peace
I overstay.
A lady always knows when to leave and nobody’s ever accused me of being a lady. Even if things go bad, I stay in a relationship until I borderline hate that person, and I mean platonic, romantic or otherwise. I work through all the nuances and *then* I’m fully prepared for the goodbye.
But there have been a few instances where that was not afforded to me and my fixed placements still have trouble dealing with that.
Be it the death of a loved one or a significant relationship that didn’t go as planned, how did you find your peace?
dont rush yourself
its already huge from you to admit a significant relationship didnt go as planned... but it will take years to find peace with it....until then, you fight to stay sane and be the person you were/are before this.... and give another chance to hope (hope meaning you can be still be romantic and understanding with the significant other) because you know, that a significant other will never ever met a person like you and they will be under your spell for a long time as well - for them its not easy as well, their struggle with a scorp moon can be a lifetime, you know
the curse of brain and deep emotions and fixed planets
But yeah, mom’s just gonna take time. In retrospect, those are the kind of relationships you need to make right *before* it’s too late. The downside is you never know when that’s gonna be.click to expand
Posted by AwesomelyI tagged you by mistake the question was for @hippiecritePosted by CreativeCaplol, there is no backstory as such. Just from the past experiences, I think closure is overrated and waiting for it is a waste of time and energy. People do what they want to.Posted by AwesomelyMind sharing the backstory?Posted by hippiecriteIf your dog dies then getting a new dog is the only way to get over that pain. Slow and steady things get back to normal.
I overstay.
A lady always knows when to leave and nobody’s ever accused me of being a lady. Even if things go bad, I stay in a relationship until I borderline hate that person, and I mean platonic, romantic or otherwise. I work through all the nuances and *then* I’m fully prepared for the goodbye.
But there have been a few instances where that was not afforded to me and my fixed placements still have trouble dealing with that.
Be it the death of a loved one or a significant relationship that didn’t go as planned, how did you find your peace?
click to expand
I disagree. In a lot of cases closure does give people a sense of solace, otherwise they may end up wrecking their brains about the situation for months or years to come.
Posted by hippiecriteOuuu oouuu... I was there many times... 🌷
I overstay.
A lady always knows when to leave and nobody’s ever accused me of being a lady. Even if things go bad, I stay in a relationship until I borderline hate that person, and I mean platonic, romantic or otherwise. I work through all the nuances and *then* I’m fully prepared for the goodbye.
But there have been a few instances where that was not afforded to me and my fixed placements still have trouble dealing with that.
Be it the death of a loved one or a significant relationship that didn’t go as planned, how did you find your peace?
I guess (speaking for myself) it was an ego thing many times. Not being able to accept that it just didn‘t work. Not being able to accept that I got rejected. Clearly my ego was bruised that‘s why I sticked around too long..
It‘s a tough learning process
I haven't yet gotten closure. So many questions for him to answer.
And I doubt I ever will.
I'm still learning to accept that - because (and I keep telling myself this) it's simply because it's too late.
I also keep reminding myself that he would have preferred it if I just let it go because that's how he lived. He rarely let emotional burdens hold him back from doing what he wanted.
To summarise - I think accepting that there will be no closure with the deceased is in itself considered closure - with yourself.
And I doubt I ever will.
I'm still learning to accept that - because (and I keep telling myself this) it's simply because it's too late.
I also keep reminding myself that he would have preferred it if I just let it go because that's how he lived. He rarely let emotional burdens hold him back from doing what he wanted.
To summarise - I think accepting that there will be no closure with the deceased is in itself considered closure - with yourself.
Posted by Lioness18881Mom died in September, the day before my partner’s bday. To paraphrase Tara from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “even when you know it’s coming, it’s still a surprise”.
I think time is the only thing that lessens grief. You need to allow yourself to feel it for as long as you need to. It never fully goes away but it lessens with time.
How long has it been since it happened?
The rest was years ago. And it’s silly to still think about them!, but they were both such huge catalyst for where I am right now, they’re hard to ignore.
Neither of us (me or the boy) are ones to write people off who we consider friends. I’ve considered both of these people friends, but feel it time to end all association with one of them and I’m torn as to how to do that.
Posted by Pandora101Honestly? Not the person it should be, but largely because of the topic at hand, bringing back memories. I always had an unhealthy connection with Mr. Sagman. I’ve tried to leave the door open for friendship, but he’s proven that isn’t an option and he’s one of the people I seek closure with. With him, I feel I’ll need to find that on my own, as opposed to communication.Posted by hippiecritewho is the first person (from the people you mentioned) you think of when you listen to this? scorp moonPosted by Pandora101I’m very happy in my current relationship, don’t get me wrong, but there were two things that had to go wrong for it to go right. Two people that, in my mind, can’t be simply written off. Or maybe they should. I don’t know. They’re both a weird mix of “I’m sorry” and “Thank you”, but not necessarily in the best context of those phrases, if that makes sense.Posted by hippiecriteUnfortunately, only time will give peace
I overstay.
A lady always knows when to leave and nobody’s ever accused me of being a lady. Even if things go bad, I stay in a relationship until I borderline hate that person, and I mean platonic, romantic or otherwise. I work through all the nuances and *then* I’m fully prepared for the goodbye.
But there have been a few instances where that was not afforded to me and my fixed placements still have trouble dealing with that.
Be it the death of a loved one or a significant relationship that didn’t go as planned, how did you find your peace?
dont rush yourself
its already huge from you to admit a significant relationship didnt go as planned... but it will take years to find peace with it....until then, you fight to stay sane and be the person you were/are before this.... and give another chance to hope (hope meaning you can be still be romantic and understanding with the significant other) because you know, that a significant other will never ever met a person like you and they will be under your spell for a long time as well - for them its not easy as well, their struggle with a scorp moon can be a lifetime, you know
the curse of brain and deep emotions and fixed planets
But yeah, mom’s just gonna take time. In retrospect, those are the kind of relationships you need to make right *before* it’s too late. The downside is you never know when that’s gonna be.
click to expand
Posted by CreativeCapMy mother’s death... A drawn out, long distance relationship with a Sag guy and an Aries chick that was awesome, but had to move for work.Posted by AwesomelyI tagged you by mistake the question was for @hippiecritePosted by CreativeCaplol, there is no backstory as such. Just from the past experiences, I think closure is overrated and waiting for it is a waste of time and energy. People do what they want to.Posted by AwesomelyMind sharing the backstory?Posted by hippiecriteIf your dog dies then getting a new dog is the only way to get over that pain. Slow and steady things get back to normal.
I overstay.
A lady always knows when to leave and nobody’s ever accused me of being a lady. Even if things go bad, I stay in a relationship until I borderline hate that person, and I mean platonic, romantic or otherwise. I work through all the nuances and *then* I’m fully prepared for the goodbye.
But there have been a few instances where that was not afforded to me and my fixed placements still have trouble dealing with that.
Be it the death of a loved one or a significant relationship that didn’t go as planned, how did you find your peace?
I disagree. In a lot of cases closure does give people a sense of solace, otherwise they may end up wrecking their brains about the situation for months or years to come.
click to expand
The latter two prepared me for the relationship I’m in now, so I’m forever grateful. The Sag needs to be written off tho. He hasn’t respected my boundaries. The Aries chick is cool AF and having a “hey, I’m back in town for the weekend!” party, later this month, and I’m invited. Going feels as dishonest as not going. 😕
Posted by AquaNextDoorOne was a long distance number and the other had to move for work, right when we were starting to get off the ground. Both great people in their own right. It’s just starting to feel like I should let them go. While I hold a torch for neither, there’s a part of me that feels having an association with them is disrespectful to the Virgo and that’s the last thing I want.Posted by hippiecriteOuuu oouuu... I was there many times... 🌷
I overstay.
A lady always knows when to leave and nobody’s ever accused me of being a lady. Even if things go bad, I stay in a relationship until I borderline hate that person, and I mean platonic, romantic or otherwise. I work through all the nuances and *then* I’m fully prepared for the goodbye.
But there have been a few instances where that was not afforded to me and my fixed placements still have trouble dealing with that.
Be it the death of a loved one or a significant relationship that didn’t go as planned, how did you find your peace?
I guess (speaking for myself) it was an ego thing many times. Not being able to accept that it just didn‘t work. Not being able to accept that I got rejected. Clearly my ego was bruised that‘s why I sticked around too long..
It‘s a tough learning processclick to expand
Posted by hippiecrite"Honestly? Not the person it should be, but largely because of the topic at hand, bringing back memories. I always had an unhealthy connection with Mr. Sagman. I’ve tried to leave the door open for friendship, but he’s proven that isn’t an option and he’s one of the people I seek closure with. With him, I feel I’ll need to find that on my own, as opposed to communication."Posted by Pandora101Honestly? Not the person it should be, but largely because of the topic at hand, bringing back memories. I always had an unhealthy connection with Mr. Sagman. I’ve tried to leave the door open for friendship, but he’s proven that isn’t an option and he’s one of the people I seek closure with. With him, I feel I’ll need to find that on my own, as opposed to communication.Posted by hippiecritewho is the first person (from the people you mentioned) you think of when you listen to this? scorp moonPosted by Pandora101I’m very happy in my current relationship, don’t get me wrong, but there were two things that had to go wrong for it to go right. Two people that, in my mind, can’t be simply written off. Or maybe they should. I don’t know. They’re both a weird mix of “I’m sorry” and “Thank you”, but not necessarily in the best context of those phrases, if that makes sense.Posted by hippiecriteUnfortunately, only time will give peace
I overstay.
A lady always knows when to leave and nobody’s ever accused me of being a lady. Even if things go bad, I stay in a relationship until I borderline hate that person, and I mean platonic, romantic or otherwise. I work through all the nuances and *then* I’m fully prepared for the goodbye.
But there have been a few instances where that was not afforded to me and my fixed placements still have trouble dealing with that.
Be it the death of a loved one or a significant relationship that didn’t go as planned, how did you find your peace?
dont rush yourself
its already huge from you to admit a significant relationship didnt go as planned... but it will take years to find peace with it....until then, you fight to stay sane and be the person you were/are before this.... and give another chance to hope (hope meaning you can be still be romantic and understanding with the significant other) because you know, that a significant other will never ever met a person like you and they will be under your spell for a long time as well - for them its not easy as well, their struggle with a scorp moon can be a lifetime, you know
the curse of brain and deep emotions and fixed planets
But yeah, mom’s just gonna take time. In retrospect, those are the kind of relationships you need to make right *before* it’s too late. The downside is you never know when that’s gonna be.
click to expand
i thought so.... 😢
I start to think that is really something up with that Mercury retrograde, what everybody is talking about... I didnt pay attention to it, until I read some other posts and I now see in my life as well, that is happening... people wanting closoure with their loved ones from the past... its really happening in real life, I´ve been contacted, I am not sure how can it be so strong, that it affects even normal people.... I am talking like an idiot, but I really feel that 2018 is life changing and this retrograte is a part of it
Posted by Lioness18881They were romantic partners. One started out as nothing but that and the other actually started as a friend/acquaintance.Posted by hippiecriteI'm sorry about you mum. Losing someone close is the hardest thing anyone has to face. And then as people die afterwards, it's triggered all over again. September wasn't that long ago so it's probably still raw.Posted by Lioness18881Mom died in September, the day before my partner’s bday. To paraphrase Tara from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “even when you know it’s coming, it’s still a surprise”.
I think time is the only thing that lessens grief. You need to allow yourself to feel it for as long as you need to. It never fully goes away but it lessens with time.
How long has it been since it happened?
The rest was years ago. And it’s silly to still think about them!, but they were both such huge catalyst for where I am right now, they’re hard to ignore.
Neither of us (me or the boy) are ones to write people off who we consider friends. I’ve considered both of these people friends, but feel it time to end all association with one of them and I’m torn as to how to do that.
With regards to your friends, are they people you don't feel were really there for you during the hard stuff, is that why you want to cut them off?
click to expand
The former, I need to let go and am not sure why it’s so hard to do so. He’s like an old shoe, I guess. We were both damaged and could tell each other absolutely anything. It was freeing. That sort of thing is also dangerous and unhealthy. I’ve tried to maintain just a friendship with him, but since we were never *just* friends to start with, it’s best to cut him loose.
The latter is coming to town in a few weeks. I think we can have a healthy friendship, since that’s what our foundation was initially built on, but I also think she’s the one the Boy would see as the biggest potential threat. Not because she is one, but because same sex relationships aren’t something he completely understands.
Posted by hippiecriteI don't know why but I get the feeling he may not have anything to worry about.Posted by Lioness18881They were romantic partners. One started out as nothing but that and the other actually started as a friend/acquaintance.Posted by hippiecriteI'm sorry about you mum. Losing someone close is the hardest thing anyone has to face. And then as people die afterwards, it's triggered all over again. September wasn't that long ago so it's probably still raw.Posted by Lioness18881Mom died in September, the day before my partner’s bday. To paraphrase Tara from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “even when you know it’s coming, it’s still a surprise”.
I think time is the only thing that lessens grief. You need to allow yourself to feel it for as long as you need to. It never fully goes away but it lessens with time.
How long has it been since it happened?
The rest was years ago. And it’s silly to still think about them!, but they were both such huge catalyst for where I am right now, they’re hard to ignore.
Neither of us (me or the boy) are ones to write people off who we consider friends. I’ve considered both of these people friends, but feel it time to end all association with one of them and I’m torn as to how to do that.
With regards to your friends, are they people you don't feel were really there for you during the hard stuff, is that why you want to cut them off?
The former, I need to let go and am not sure why it’s so hard to do so. He’s like an old shoe, I guess. We were both damaged and could tell each other absolutely anything. It was freeing. That sort of thing is also dangerous and unhealthy. I’ve tried to maintain just a friendship with him, but since we were never *just* friends to start with, it’s best to cut him loose.
The latter is coming to town in a few weeks. I think we can have a healthy friendship, since that’s what our foundation was initially built on, but I also think she’s the one the Boy would see as the biggest potential threat. Not because she is one, but because same sex relationships aren’t something he completely understands.click to expand
Posted by Ram416Because you know how much he means to me. 😊Posted by hippiecriteI don't know why but I get the feeling he may not have anything to worry about.Posted by Lioness18881They were romantic partners. One started out as nothing but that and the other actually started as a friend/acquaintance.Posted by hippiecriteI'm sorry about you mum. Losing someone close is the hardest thing anyone has to face. And then as people die afterwards, it's triggered all over again. September wasn't that long ago so it's probably still raw.Posted by Lioness18881Mom died in September, the day before my partner’s bday. To paraphrase Tara from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “even when you know it’s coming, it’s still a surprise”.
I think time is the only thing that lessens grief. You need to allow yourself to feel it for as long as you need to. It never fully goes away but it lessens with time.
How long has it been since it happened?
The rest was years ago. And it’s silly to still think about them!, but they were both such huge catalyst for where I am right now, they’re hard to ignore.
Neither of us (me or the boy) are ones to write people off who we consider friends. I’ve considered both of these people friends, but feel it time to end all association with one of them and I’m torn as to how to do that.
With regards to your friends, are they people you don't feel were really there for you during the hard stuff, is that why you want to cut them off?
The former, I need to let go and am not sure why it’s so hard to do so. He’s like an old shoe, I guess. We were both damaged and could tell each other absolutely anything. It was freeing. That sort of thing is also dangerous and unhealthy. I’ve tried to maintain just a friendship with him, but since we were never *just* friends to start with, it’s best to cut him loose.
The latter is coming to town in a few weeks. I think we can have a healthy friendship, since that’s what our foundation was initially built on, but I also think she’s the one the Boy would see as the biggest potential threat. Not because she is one, but because same sex relationships aren’t something he completely understands.click to expand
It’s just... voluntarily closing doors becomes harder once the Universe seals one shut. Merely looking for ways others have made their peace.
Posted by Pandora101Cutting people out of my life is never something I’ve taken lightly. I’m sorry the retrograde hasn’t been kind to you.Posted by hippiecrite"Honestly? Not the person it should be, but largely because of the topic at hand, bringing back memories. I always had an unhealthy connection with Mr. Sagman. I’ve tried to leave the door open for friendship, but he’s proven that isn’t an option and he’s one of the people I seek closure with. With him, I feel I’ll need to find that on my own, as opposed to communication."Posted by Pandora101Honestly? Not the person it should be, but largely because of the topic at hand, bringing back memories. I always had an unhealthy connection with Mr. Sagman. I’ve tried to leave the door open for friendship, but he’s proven that isn’t an option and he’s one of the people I seek closure with. With him, I feel I’ll need to find that on my own, as opposed to communication.Posted by hippiecritewho is the first person (from the people you mentioned) you think of when you listen to this? scorp moonPosted by Pandora101I’m very happy in my current relationship, don’t get me wrong, but there were two things that had to go wrong for it to go right. Two people that, in my mind, can’t be simply written off. Or maybe they should. I don’t know. They’re both a weird mix of “I’m sorry” and “Thank you”, but not necessarily in the best context of those phrases, if that makes sense.Posted by hippiecriteUnfortunately, only time will give peace
I overstay.
A lady always knows when to leave and nobody’s ever accused me of being a lady. Even if things go bad, I stay in a relationship until I borderline hate that person, and I mean platonic, romantic or otherwise. I work through all the nuances and *then* I’m fully prepared for the goodbye.
But there have been a few instances where that was not afforded to me and my fixed placements still have trouble dealing with that.
Be it the death of a loved one or a significant relationship that didn’t go as planned, how did you find your peace?
dont rush yourself
its already huge from you to admit a significant relationship didnt go as planned... but it will take years to find peace with it....until then, you fight to stay sane and be the person you were/are before this.... and give another chance to hope (hope meaning you can be still be romantic and understanding with the significant other) because you know, that a significant other will never ever met a person like you and they will be under your spell for a long time as well - for them its not easy as well, their struggle with a scorp moon can be a lifetime, you know
the curse of brain and deep emotions and fixed planets
But yeah, mom’s just gonna take time. In retrospect, those are the kind of relationships you need to make right *before* it’s too late. The downside is you never know when that’s gonna be.
i thought so.... 😢
I start to think that is really something up with that Mercury retrograde, what everybody is talking about... I didnt pay attention to it, until I read some other posts and I now see in my life as well, that is happening... people wanting closoure with their loved ones from the past... its really happening in real life, I´ve been contacted, I am not sure how can it be so strong, that it affects even normal people.... I am talking like an idiot, but I really feel that 2018 is life changing and this retrograte is a part of it
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Posted by Lioness18881Almost 3yrs now, yes. And the last thing I want is for him to feel uncomfortable. Thinking I’ll have an open and honest convo with him about the Aries and go from there, with his wishes in mind. As for the Sag, I suppose I’ll have to give him the dead relative treatment and sort it out myself.Posted by hippiecritePosted by Lioness18881They were romantic partners. One started out as nothing but that and the other actually started as a friend/acquaintance.Posted by hippiecriteI'm sorry about you mum. Losing someone close is the hardest thing anyone has to face. And then as people die afterwards, it's triggered all over again. September wasn't that long ago so it's probably still raw.Posted by Lioness18881Mom died in September, the day before my partner’s bday. To paraphrase Tara from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “even when you know it’s coming, it’s still a surprise”.
I think time is the only thing that lessens grief. You need to allow yourself to feel it for as long as you need to. It never fully goes away but it lessens with time.
How long has it been since it happened?
The rest was years ago. And it’s silly to still think about them!, but they were both such huge catalyst for where I am right now, they’re hard to ignore.
Neither of us (me or the boy) are ones to write people off who we consider friends. I’ve considered both of these people friends, but feel it time to end all association with one of them and I’m torn as to how to do that.
With regards to your friends, are they people you don't feel were really there for you during the hard stuff, is that why you want to cut them off?
The former, I need to let go and am not sure why it’s so hard to do so. He’s like an old shoe, I guess. We were both damaged and could tell each other absolutely anything. It was freeing. That sort of thing is also dangerous and unhealthy. I’ve tried to maintain just a friendship with him, but since we were never *just* friends to start with, it’s best to cut him loose.
The latter is coming to town in a few weeks. I think we can have a healthy friendship, since that’s what our foundation was initially built on, but I also think she’s the one the Boy would see as the biggest potential threat. Not because she is one, but because same sex relationships aren’t something he completely understands.
Letting him go will give you closure. You don't get closure holding on, it comes from letting go. I believe everyone we meet along the way, gives us a lesson to take with us, even if they're not supposed to be there for the rest of our journey.
With the other one, if the boy (I'm assuming your current) would be threatened, then maybe you need to maintain your distance. It sounds like he's your future, and they're your past. So nurture what's ahead of you. There's a reason why the windscreen is big and the rearview is small. It's because what's infront of you is more important. You can look back to remember, but if you focus too much on what's behind you, you'll crash what's infront.
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Figuring out how to do that is why I made the thread though. Healthy closure? So far I’ve gotten moving on and time and those aren’t working so great. Ha. It’d be so much easier if I actively disliked him.
Posted by ufoWith fixed moon and Venus, it helps to find a healthier obsession. Play to my strengths and trade focusing on a bad thing for a good one.
cement and sowing tend to work best
Probably not the greatest advice, but it’s why I made the thread. Also, I meant it to be more of a general thing and not so *me* centric. Will probably end up deleting it, since it doesn’t benefit the greater good.
Posted by RooSagicornThanks for that. Yeah, this first year has felt like an anniversary after an anniversary within itself. Time is measured differently. The day after is the first full day you’re not on the same planet. A week since the phone call. A year since the diagnosis. And so on...
With the deceased ( my dad), it took me two years to be normal again. And I must admit I was different afterwards. First year was just getting through it, and the second year was learning to live without him there always having my back. You will always miss them nut now it’s in a I miss him, I admire him way without choking up. Thank god I hate crying.. lol
Relationships sometimes years. No closure is the worst, especially if they still care. Time and realizing you must do what’s best for you, that it is a dead end place works for me. Eventually. I usually stay far too long if it’s up to me. Its always hard.
Another overstayer! 😄
It really is easier when you get to process it all in real time, as opposed to after the fact and playing catch up.
Posted by ufoOh, I got that part. 😋Posted by hippiecritei was just being an assPosted by ufoWith fixed moon and Venus, it helps to find a healthier obsession. Play to my strengths and trade focusing on a bad thing for a good one.
cement and sowing tend to work best
Probably not the greatest advice, but it’s why I made the thread. Also, I meant it to be more of a general thing and not so *me* centric. Will probably end up deleting it, since it doesn’t benefit the greater good.click to expand
Posted by JuliietteAnother Cancer “like”d that comment, so I’m gonna assume you might be onto something.Posted by hippiecrite
I overstay.
A lady always knows when to leave and nobody’s ever accused me of being a lady. Even if things go bad, I stay in a relationship until I borderline hate that person, and I mean platonic, romantic or otherwise. I work through all the nuances and *then* I’m fully prepared for the goodbye.
But there have been a few instances where that was not afforded to me and my fixed placements still have trouble dealing with that.
Be it the death of a loved one or a significant relationship that didn’t go as planned, how did you find your peace?
i do the same shit. 😢
not anymore though. broke up before.
you a cap? i'm a cancer. i think it's some cardinal thing.
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Reread some of the thread and had a light bulb moment... this kinda talk is dangerously close to emotional cheating. Not cool. Closure found.
Posted by Ram416💙
I haven't yet gotten closure. So many questions for him to answer.
And I doubt I ever will.
I'm still learning to accept that - because (and I keep telling myself this) it's simply because it's too late.
I also keep reminding myself that he would have preferred it if I just let it go because that's how he lived. He rarely let emotional burdens hold him back from doing what he wanted.
To summarise - I think accepting that there will be no closure with the deceased is in itself considered closure - with yourself.
Posted by hippiecriteYour man? 😥
Reread some of the thread and had a light bulb moment... this kinda talk is dangerously close to emotional cheating. Not cool. Closure found.
Posted by hippiecriteI saw school differently...anti-communication. No talking or name on the board, note home, in the corner, etc. Children are to be seen not heard. I quite naturally rebelled and it did me good. My family teases when in discourse with me, "there goes that communications degree."Posted by AwesomelyThat’s unfortunate. I’m a firm believer in communication, but it takes two to tango. In the case of the deceased or a party that isn’t willing to be a sounding board, that can be hard to do.Posted by hippiecriteI once tried to find that "MORE to it" thing... and she called me a psycho. #TrueStoryPosted by AwesomelyFunny you should mention. I had a dog for 16yrs and had to put her down in August. That, I’ve found peace with. The death of a close relative or a relationship that wasn’t allowed to come to it’s natural conclusion? Not so much.Posted by hippiecriteIf your dog dies then getting a new dog is the only way to get over that pain. Slow and steady things get back to normal.
I overstay.
A lady always knows when to leave and nobody’s ever accused me of being a lady. Even if things go bad, I stay in a relationship until I borderline hate that person, and I mean platonic, romantic or otherwise. I work through all the nuances and *then* I’m fully prepared for the goodbye.
But there have been a few instances where that was not afforded to me and my fixed placements still have trouble dealing with that.
Be it the death of a loved one or a significant relationship that didn’t go as planned, how did you find your peace?
I took your response to be similar to, “the best way to get over X is to get under Y”, but I think there’s more to it than that.
The funny thing is, communication comes quite hard for me, but I’ve grown to find honesty the best policy. I thought I was late to the game, but when it comes down to it, most people are lacking in that area. You’d think something that’s been drilled into us since kindergarten would have caught hold by now.click to expand
Some shit you just can't get 100% over. And in some ways I've found the lack of closure to be comforting. Cause they continue to occupy your thoughts and as long as you think of them they aren't entirely gone.
Posted by MyStarsShineWe’re great! I’m just dumb and need to get better at letting things go.Posted by hippiecriteYour man? 😥
Reread some of the thread and had a light bulb moment... this kinda talk is dangerously close to emotional cheating. Not cool. Closure found.click to expand
Posted by magma3You’re up to 3 now?
IME, the biggest ingredient in closure is acceptance. In fact, I think acceptance is a much better word than closure. That doesn't immediately eliminate or cure the emotional bond, but if I know it's over I also know that the emotional cost is part of doing what's best, which is simply living well.
When I was your age it was much harder than it is now, and most of the improvement has come from just out living a lot of things. You've been able to sort everything else out, you'll sort this one out too.
I'm sorry for your loss.
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I need help.
I want to ask her directly but obviously that's not a great idea.lol
When I came here ages ago I thought I found tons of valuable info that explained Scorpio to me and using your ‘logic’ and ‘knowledge’ I made peace with his frigging odd behavior but years later here what I discovered.
ALL signs
Have disappearing act
??
I think 95% of the time we play ourselves. When someone genuinely likes us/ loves us...we don't go around asking questions.
I just read all these posts (and have even posted things like this myself). Sometimes we need to take accountability for our o
It's not them, it's you.
You like the idea of relationships.... but really youre terrified of commitment and you had no idea. So you sabotage and then justify it by saying they messed up some imaginary issue you created!
Hi!!!! It's ya girl!
Because I know some “hoes” who are in relationships
What can you say about him
Also what dominate element would be best for him
39 yo cancer woman dating a 48 yo capricorn man who has a 2 yo living in another state. Sexually, he pulls out. Even during “safe days”, he refuses to totally release and always holds back sexually. We’re adults.
Additionally, he’s a little too safe w
...
I don't know how a lot of you don't connect with your 7th house energy as you told me in the last post.
I have a Capricorn stellium... My Venus and Mars and moon are all Cap and my 7th is Cancer/Leo and I definitely would like a partner that is Cancer/L
It could be anything
I noticed Aries men buff their chest when taking pics
Also they put their head down have eye contact
Pisces men get fat when they get older (Dad bod)
Pisces women have thigh tats
Leo men get quiet when they’re thinking ab
I think we never really got over each other and there signs for it, we even both admitted it some days ago and it has been one and half year.
The thing is when we dated back then the relationship wasn't sexual cause I didn't feel ready for that. He did
Be able to have the option to have sex with a lot of people, but they were ugly to average looking
OR
Don’t have sex with a lot of people but they’re all really good looking
don’t say beauty is subjective only. I understand
But obviously you can loo
why do you avoid men/women with certain placements?
[IMG]http://i41.tinypic.com/2q2nvbp.jpg[/IMG]
[IMG]http://i44.tinypic.com/2jf81k.jpg[/IMG]
[IMG]http://i40.tinypic.com/w8vrpg.jpg[/IMG]
[IMG]http://i41.tinypic.com/14kyxph.jpg[/IMG]
So, I'm listening to an iHeart Radio station this evening and they brought up a question that I find interesting. Say you're in a long term, committed relationship/marriage and your partner tells you they're having a casual lunch with an ex of theirs...wh
I went through this. I would ignore it all and he would try a lot even to make me jealous.
It was pathetic
What gives
Men are shitty af
Another reason why I’m never getting married
Tell me I wanna chat :p :p
theres this Sag sun/ Taurus moon/ scorpio venus i adore.. i know Taurus sun people can be NOTORIOUSLY slow with everything, just wondering if that's the same with Taurus moon people because he is showing CLASSSSIC Taurus "i REEEEALLY like you" signs (supe
feel free to
specify gender
sexuality
chinese zodiac sign
Any observations or advises about female venus pisces and male venus scorpio couple?
A lady always knows when to leave and nobody’s ever accused me of being a lady. Even if things go bad, I stay in a relationship until I borderline hate that person, and I mean platonic, romantic or otherwise. I work through all the nuances and *then* I’m fully prepared for the goodbye.
But there have been a few instances where that was not afforded to me and my fixed placements still have trouble dealing with that.
Be it the death of a loved one or a significant relationship that didn’t go as planned, how did you find your peace?