Cheating ...... (Page 2)

Posted by P-Angel
Women sleep with men .... just to be held.


And the more he holds her, strokes her hair, snuggles in her neck, wraps his big arms around her and tells her he would never let anything happen to her and pulls her into his chest ............... then the freakier she gets in bed.



It has absolutely nothing to do with the enjoyment of sex on the woman's part, although, I'm quite sure she would argue this point because people really have no clue about anything that goes on outside of their comfort zone

This is true and is only reinforced when women associate sex with being synonymous with love... most women that probably would argue that point would also state they have sex because they "love" their partner. Which, if you really break it down is actually the intimacy they feel for their partners; hence, the need of being held.

But I think that's why women don't need sex as much as men do... if they can't find the intimacy in it, sex itself no longer hold much of an appeal.

I think that's is why you find beggars in men torque.

Posted by TORQUED


I've pushed my freaks away many times, I'm not speaking from text books here, I'm talking real life experiences. I can text them with a simple "wanna fuck" and I get a response in minutes with something like "hell yeah" and we meet and fuck and they might want to kiss but I have to really be in the mood for that type of intimacy so usually I say no and they keep right on fucking and enjoying and they're always on tap for a booty call knowing that they aren't going to get the intimacy. No holding or spooning afterward, unless I'm in the mood and this is where I differ from most guys that I know; they feel that they must do what the woman wants and I feel that they must do what I want, if it's wrong for me to feel that way then it's just as wrong for them to feel that way also.

In my own personal experience this is the norm but it's not like I've sampled tens of thousands of women to be able to claim it as such with any authenticity.

I think you will find that women will do anything for intimacy, just as men will do anything for sex... men are always buying drinks... paying for things... "acting" romantic, all in the hopes of some punani. Women, in the case of intimacy, will do what pleases a man... pretends she's a freak in the bed... pretend their is no committed attachments what so ever... will do just as much as men would, but of course men don't require the same things as women do when you need some intimacy out of them.

For women, men just need to show them that they are a provider, that they are there for them... that they want a committed relationship... to get punani...that's why you get so many confused crying women.

For men, a women just needs to pretend she's aloof and that she doesn't need or want a relationship to get what she wants... intimacy!

Maybe I'm just lucky, I get them to buy me dinner and drinks. I don't play that bullshit game that so many guys do, I'll buy sometimes but not every time. I'm not mistaken or disillusioned about these women absolutely loving and craving sex itself and being total freaks, because it's what they want, not what I'm asking for. Like I said I don't claim this to be true in the majority of cases but I do believe that if men would stop pandering to women like they have centuries that there could be more understanding and equality between the sexes. Not likely to happen but one can dream. Not every woman I meet is like this, and so she's not compatible...next.

You're right there is a huge inequality between the sexes and that inequality being unfavorable towards women. Don't forget this is a MAN's world... you guys even get paid more than us in equal footing careers. Men aren't just pandering to women, there are more women pandering to men. This board is proof of that... there are so many threads here of women crying about shitty relationships, it's usually them giving men sex and not understanding why they're not getting a committed relationship in turn.

I guess you got the reaction you did Mr. Torque in your post about anal sex is because women are held at a different standard than men. I found your post distasteful only because I don't find enjoyment in anal sex, but it didn't bother me that you posted such a thing.

It's just you have to realize that women are held at different standard then men in society. There are more strict expectations held over our heads. You must act a certain way, think a certain way... etc, etc. And yes, standards of such are still held in a such advanced society today.

That's why I'm not surprised by the reaction you got on that thread. That's why it's a little unfair of what you ask from them... with all these expectations (such as being a lady, not being a whore) lying over their head, you asking them such questions and them calling them prudes is adding just much more out of them... expecting them to be perfect... and there are no such things. One can not be a lady and a whore at once. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

So if you do understand such standards set for women than I'm gathering you must also understand the inequality now? And why they reacted the way they did.

I'm in no way attacking you, I just hope my blob of a paragraph makes sense.

Wouldn't you agree Torque that men can more easily detach themselves from a relationship than a woman can?

xtina I can understand and tolerate differing points of view more than a great many people that I know of. I believe in complete equality for all, I am a libertarian through and through. I hold everyone to the same standard I set for myself and I respect people that can discuss and debate intelligently, and I will mercilessly demean those who attack me without cause.

These women that responded so vehemently in my thread on anal sex did not have to respond at all. It's not like I asked a question in person and put them on the spot, they had the option of not even reading let alone responding. Their posts in that thread are a great indication as to their lack of tolerance which leads to hatred. No different than homophobes hating homosexuals or good ole boy rednecks hating Muslims, etc, etc.

Btw I am never surprised by any reactions on the net and especially on dxp. One thing I do know; it's one in a million that will dare to have the balls and stick by their principles and say the same thing to someone in the flesh as they do online, keyboard commandos are a dime a dozen.

Posted by xtina
Wouldn't you agree Torque that men can more easily detach themselves from a relationship than a woman can?

No, it's just that women are allowed to express that feeling while men are not, unless they want to be laughed out of the bar or their buddies house or what have you.

I can tell you that I had one that I was so madly in love with which took a good while to get over, even while having sex with other women she was always on my mind, I just could not forget her and to this day she still haunts my memory once in a while. I've told women about this and discussed it with them and gotten their support as well as tough love, how many guys have I told? None, their answer would be to man up and fuck another chick, lol.

It's all about perceptions and misconceptions between men and women. Men just hide their feelings better because we are taught to in order to be a 'man'

Posted by xtina
I'm in no way attacking you, I just hope my blob of a paragraph makes sense.

I know, you used common sense and logic in your response, a rarity here on dxp, thanks for showing me that there are some reasonable people around here.

Really... it might not seem it but I was trying to really figure out why they said what they said. Without any thought put into it I would have just said "What got their panties in a bunch?" But I'm doing this new thing now where I'm attempting to understand other peoples thought process and point of view.

"It's all about perceptions and misconceptions between men and women. Men just hide their feelings better because we are taught to in order to be a 'man'"

I always knew this. Yet, sometimes one gets bogged down by so many sob stories on DXP and other places on the net it's easy to forget reality.

That's a good trait to develop, you can learn so much by stepping into another's shoes instead of upon their toes.

"All of you ladies that think your man never thinks about something else besides you while banging you...probably best that you choose to think that way. The reality is that we become bored quite easily, yes even if you do everything we want and are a great freaky little three hole queen. We actually discuss amongst ourselves the fact that women believe us when we say that we only ever think about them when we're fucking.

Now you guys can choose to hate on me for raining on your parade or you can thank one of the few guys that will tell you the honest truth of the matter. If it's any consolation it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you or still want you, it's purely a natural instinct. Perhaps if he's one of the those signs that's boring in the boudoir he may be an exception, but then you've got bigger problems don't you?"

Yeah... You're right. I shouldn't have any faith in my man or my relationship. Hell I bet he pictures a different woman every single time we do the nasty cuz ya know I'm so BORING. The fact that he quit his whoring ways and asked me to marry him is all a big illusion to "bag" me and get me in the sack.... forever. I'm sure he brags to his buddies how dumb I am for thinking that he actually loves me. I should confront him about all this. Nevermind that i'd sound insane!! It's just the nature of the (male) beast. 😛 😛 😛

All sarcasm aside you pointed out that men get bored easily. Yep I agree. I know he looks and I know he's attracted to others. But no longer it takes to pass by a hottie and appriciate her legs/ass/boobs his mind is already on to something else. He comes home with me so obviously I'm doing something for him that others aren't.

I've made the ultimate girl mistake of asking him what he thought about when we were "at it".
I believe him (Aries honesty) when he told me that he was thinking about how good it felt. At the time I was a little offended that he wasnt thinking of me/us and all that gooey shit. But I've come to see that is how his brain works. All he is thinking about is how good it feels and the fact he's getting off. That's all his brain allows him to handle at that moment. He's not thinking of anything beyond himself which isn't the most flattering thing for me to hear but Hey! Oh well!

But ya know.... I'm too Stooooopid and naive to believe otherwise cuz I'm just a silly gooey girl.*rolls eyes*

I can see why its a mans world. Some females are such a waste of life.

Cheating is anything that you wouldn't knowlingly do in front of the person you love. So if that means fantasizing about another woman, then making love to your wife after... it's cheating.

Unless of course; he can walk up to her and say: " Honey I was just having the best fantasy about this other woman... it got me so hot and bothered; I've got to..."


lol

technically, no, i don't think it's cheating. it's kinda scary that it's about a real person though. ugh, so weird. i'm involved with this same predicament. i'm the woman who is being fantasized about. i have a very good male friend. there has been sexual tension between us from the start (before his relationship with his current gf). we probably would have ended up together had i not been in a relationship at the time. anyway, whenever we're around each other we act like we're a couple (not purposefully! it's just natural). we've never done anything but we do touch each other constantly and, to me, he crosses the line all the time. i met his gf once (he got with her in sept.'07) and haven't seen her since. he refuses to bring her around me and won't ever talk about her. he has made a plethora of comments loaded with sexual inuendo over the years. i even passed out in his bed once (hey, i accidentally drank way too much) and he chose to sleep next to me instead of sleeping on the couch which i would have done. i'm pretty sure i fuel his sex life. i am nothing like his gf. she's cute but fairly average in looks and and doesn't carry a sexy energy i guess. i, on the other hand, do. i am ultra comfortable with myself and know who i am. i'm tomboy-ish but am also very feminine. when i go out i love to wear skirts and heels (classy not trashy). i know there have been times where he and i have hung out all night and he ends up going to his gf's place right afterward. as much as i love the guy, i'm not jealous. it's a compliment that he finds me so attractive that he fantasizes about me. i do feel guilty regarding her though. i'm incredibly respectful and no bf stealer! ha! she should consider herself lucky cuz i want him badly!

That's despicable .... the both of you.


How arrogant you would say she should consider herself lucky .. to insinuate that you could steal him if you chose because it's to you he admires and adores, while you apparantly take pride in this depth of a relationship with a taken man.

All at her expense.



Fucking disgrace ... karma is coming .. you're going to be fucked up the ass royally.

P - I think I would be extreamly hurt and it sounds like maybe this hurt you. For that I am sorry.

As for cheating ...if we look at the definion of cheating by definition ....it is all very subjective because everyone has their boundary of what is considered cheating. Bottom line it does not matter whether we think it is cheating or not ....it only matters is how you feel about it and what is your boundary.

For me I would be so hurt, and I know it would make me question what is wrong with me. Than again I am not in a relationship ....and this is probably why. lol So I don't know if I am the most practical person to give advice. I don't like being in that kind of a predicament of feeling less than. I know if my man did this to me ...I would feel this way. When I am in a relationship I have to feel cherished, loved, and like the prize.

Back to your post, I would really look in your heart and examine how it has made you feel and I would address those feelings with hub.

Best of luck ....

PD

Posted by sagigoat
"Is fantasizing cheating?"

no as long as i was not told. ppl have rights to imagine whatever they want in their mind as long as it does not harm another. however if i was told and the person is someone i know i'd likely end what we have on the spot.

I'm not sure how to take what you said, SG ... so long as you weren't told then it would be fine for you, however, if you were told and you knew the person then it wouldn't be fine.

So, whatever you don't know won't hurt you ...... eventhough it is a hurt, just because you don't know about it doesn't mean it's not painful.


I don't know ...... I think I would rather know and be hurt, rather than walk around looking like the fool who is happy in her ignorant bliss of not caring to know what could hurt her.



M'Lady .. this isn't about me. I couldn't care a less what fantasies are roaming around in my mans head .... because we no longer even have sex, so it doens't matter to me.

I understand .. still though .... it just seems wrong.


If a guy tells girl the truth, he's fantasizing about another woman .... then this is inconsiderate of her feelings because he told her the truth about what he is desiring. And so long as he remains quiet about it, then it is acceptable for him to have this truth about what is turning him on, eventhough it is actually painful to his woman, if she knows about it.


So, it isn't inconsiderate of him to actually do it ... just to speak the truth of its existence.



That seems so wrong to me ... like ignorance is bliss.



So, its just the act of telling .. and not the act of actually feeling it/doing it.


I really can't wrap this around my head.

Posted by P-Angel
I understand .. still though .... it just seems wrong.


If a guy tells girl the truth, he's fantasizing about another woman .... then this is inconsiderate of her feelings because he told her the truth about what he is desiring. And so long as he remains quiet about it, then it is acceptable for him to have this truth about what is turning him on, eventhough it is actually painful to his woman, if she knows about it.


So, it isn't inconsiderate of him to actually do it ... just to speak the truth of its existence.



That seems so wrong to me ... like ignorance is bliss.



So, its just the act of telling .. and not the act of actually feeling it/doing it.


I really can't wrap this around my head.

I agree.