How important is money to be in a relationship?

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DK
@DK
3 Years

Comments: 1768 · Posts: 363 · Topics: 16
Many years ago I met a woman I loved with all my heart, but she didn’t have much money and thought it wise to get a job and a good income to stay independent. Sadly that lead to our demise as time went by and she never made it…. she could’ve simply lived with me but I understand her point of view even though the outcome made me sad.

How important is money to you?
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borednbeautiful
@borednbeautiful
3 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 11190 · Posts: 4240 · Topics: 55
When you don’t have any money and any support, you realize money is extremely important!

The more money you have though, the less important it is.

When it comes to relationships, it’s all about what we can build together. Let’s support one another in best ways possible.

For example, if I didn’t contribute financially I could cook, clean and be his personal assistant. If he didn’t have any money, he could help me with same tasks and maintenance. And of course, mental and emotional and sexual collaboration too.
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borednbeautiful
@borednbeautiful
3 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 11190 · Posts: 4240 · Topics: 55
Posted by alexscaries
Posted by borednbeautiful

When you don’t have any money and any support, you realize money is extremely important!

The more money you have though, the less important it is.

When it comes to relationships, it’s all about what we can build together. Let’s support one another in best ways possible.

For example, if I didn’t contribute financially I could cook, clean and be his personal assistant. If he didn’t have any money, he could help me with same tasks and maintenance. And of course, mental and emotional and sexual collaboration too.

I'm definitely into the 50/50 thing. Not everyone is and that's fine by me. I find it extremely hard if I am doted on.
click to expand



Yeah, I also prefer a partnership. I don’t want a man to fully support me and I don’t want to fully support any man. Not unless something tragic happened, beyond anyone’s control. And it would be okay temporarily too (like if someone was getting additional education for a better job and similar).

I once depended on a man temporarily and it left such a bad taste in me that I never want to repeat it again 😏
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Truemara
@Truemara
4 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1682 · Posts: 2228 · Topics: 11
Posted by DK

Many years ago I met a woman I loved with all my heart, but she didn’t have much money and thought it wise to get a job and a good income to stay independent. Sadly that lead to our demise as time went by and she never made it…. she could’ve simply lived with me but I understand her point of view even though the outcome made me sad.

Nobody likes users

How important is money to you?

Nobody likes users
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borednbeautiful
@borednbeautiful
3 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 11190 · Posts: 4240 · Topics: 55
Posted by alexscaries
Posted by borednbeautiful
Posted by alexscaries
Posted by borednbeautiful

When you don’t have any money and any support, you realize money is extremely important!

The more money you have though, the less important it is.

When it comes to relationships, it’s all about what we can build together. Let’s support one another in best ways possible.

For example, if I didn’t contribute financially I could cook, clean and be his personal assistant. If he didn’t have any money, he could help me with same tasks and maintenance. And of course, mental and emotional and sexual collaboration too.

I'm definitely into the 50/50 thing. Not everyone is and that's fine by me. I find it extremely hard if I am doted on.

Yeah, I also prefer a partnership. I don’t want a man to fully support me and I don’t want to fully support any man. Not unless something tragic happened, beyond anyone’s control. And it would be okay temporarily too (like if someone was getting additional education for a better job and similar).

I once depended on a man temporarily and it left such a bad taste in me that I never want to repeat it again 😏

Left a bad taste in your mouth ... I bet he did. 🤦
click to expand


Does it ever leave a good taste?? 😛
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borednbeautiful
@borednbeautiful
3 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 11190 · Posts: 4240 · Topics: 55
Posted by alexscaries
Posted by borednbeautiful
Posted by alexscaries
Posted by borednbeautiful
Posted by alexscaries
Posted by borednbeautiful

When you don’t have any money and any support, you realize money is extremely important!

The more money you have though, the less important it is.

When it comes to relationships, it’s all about what we can build together. Let’s support one another in best ways possible.

For example, if I didn’t contribute financially I could cook, clean and be his personal assistant. If he didn’t have any money, he could help me with same tasks and maintenance. And of course, mental and emotional and sexual collaboration too.

I'm definitely into the 50/50 thing. Not everyone is and that's fine by me. I find it extremely hard if I am doted on.

Yeah, I also prefer a partnership. I don’t want a man to fully support me and I don’t want to fully support any man. Not unless something tragic happened, beyond anyone’s control. And it would be okay temporarily too (like if someone was getting additional education for a better job and similar).

I once depended on a man temporarily and it left such a bad taste in me that I never want to repeat it again 😏

Left a bad taste in your mouth ... I bet he did. 🤦

Does it ever leave a good taste?? 😛

I taste better than caviar and a lot cheaper.
click to expand



Okay? Lol 😹
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LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 11076 · Posts: 35719 · Topics: 110
Posted by alexscaries
Posted by borednbeautiful

When you don’t have any money and any support, you realize money is extremely important!

The more money you have though, the less important it is.

When it comes to relationships, it’s all about what we can build together. Let’s support one another in best ways possible.

For example, if I didn’t contribute financially I could cook, clean and be his personal assistant. If he didn’t have any money, he could help me with same tasks and maintenance. And of course, mental and emotional and sexual collaboration too.

I'm definitely into the 50/50 thing. Not everyone is and that's fine by me. I find it extremely hard if I am doted on.
click to expand



The reality is 50/50 is really hard to achieve. But the spirit of it is more important imo. You want to feel like your partner is putting in equal effort.

There are times when you will carry them and times when they will carry you. Wan and wax 🌙 as it should be.
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Timone
@Timone
5 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 2984 · Posts: 1624 · Topics: 4
Posted by alexscaries
Posted by Timone
Posted by Maxian

It's important to the point you're able to sustain yourself if you ever go your separate ways. It will be quite a harder shift if you have depended on someone for a long time.

Unfortunately this happen too often to women. They can't afford to leave the man or he leaves her and suddenly she's on her own without any money.

Amber Heard mentality 🕵️‍♂️
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What do you mean?
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Timone
@Timone
5 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 2984 · Posts: 1624 · Topics: 4
Posted by Maxian
Posted by Timone
Posted by Maxian

It's important to the point you're able to sustain yourself if you ever go your separate ways. It will be quite a harder shift if you have depended on someone for a long time.

Unfortunately this happen too often to women. They can't afford to leave the man or he leaves her and suddenly she's on her own without any money.

Yes, and I think that's why @DK and his ex-partner didn't work. Could be wrong.

Dependency on someone creates imbalance in dynamics. It's much harder to make that shift mentally, emotionally, (physically sometimes even) after having lived a certain life style .
click to expand



I think there's a difference between someone choosing to be dependent on someone vs someone really trying but not being successful because of whatever circumstances. I will help someone who's in hardship if they also make the effort.





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LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 11076 · Posts: 35719 · Topics: 110
Posted by alexscaries
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by alexscaries
Posted by borednbeautiful

When you don’t have any money and any support, you realize money is extremely important!

The more money you have though, the less important it is.

When it comes to relationships, it’s all about what we can build together. Let’s support one another in best ways possible.

For example, if I didn’t contribute financially I could cook, clean and be his personal assistant. If he didn’t have any money, he could help me with same tasks and maintenance. And of course, mental and emotional and sexual collaboration too.

I'm definitely into the 50/50 thing. Not everyone is and that's fine by me. I find it extremely hard if I am doted on.

The reality is 50/50 is really hard to achieve. But the spirit of it is more important imo. You want to feel like your partner is putting in equal effort.

There are times when you will carry them and times when they will carry you. Wan and wax 🌙 as it should be.

I think that was a factor my last relationship broke down albeit a small one. I was visiting her, she hardly came to my place. My place was actually tidier btw.
click to expand



Yeah it’s tough when things start to feel one sided.
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DK
@DK
3 Years

Comments: 1768 · Posts: 363 · Topics: 16
Posted by MonaLisa26
Posted by DK

Many years ago I met a woman I loved with all my heart, but she didn’t have much money and thought it wise to get a job and a good income to stay independent. Sadly that lead to our demise as time went by and she never made it….c me but I understand her point of view even though the outcome made me sad.

How important is money to you?

Ok. I didnt get it. She didnt have money.

She thought it wise to get a job and a good income to stay independent. She never made it.

She could had lived with you BUT but you understand her point of view...ON WHAT—

Its messed up. WHat happened?
click to expand


She could’ve moved in and lived with me, I had my own place anyway and could have supported both of us. But she was worried, in general, to be dependent on someone and wished to stay on her own feet before going together with someone.

Time passed, economy got worse in the country, and she didn’t get the chance she hoped for (although she tried and had lots of interviews). After three years things broke down entirely, there always were discussions and issues like when I wanted to go on holidays (and even take her with me for free) and she didn’t feel it’s a good idea.

While I understand her position, since I love to be independent myself, there simply was no solution to the problem and then things went downhill completely.
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DK
@DK
3 Years

Comments: 1768 · Posts: 363 · Topics: 16
Posted by MonaLisa26
Posted by DK
Posted by MonaLisa26
Posted by DK

Many years ago I met a woman I loved with all my heart, but she didn’t have much money and thought it wise to get a job and a good income to stay independent. Sadly that lead to our demise as time went by and she never made it….c me but I understand her point of view even though the outcome made me sad.

How important is money to you?

Ok. I didnt get it. She didnt have money.

She thought it wise to get a job and a good income to stay independent. She never made it.

She could had lived with you BUT but you understand her point of view...ON WHAT—

Its messed up. WHat happened?

She could’ve moved in and lived with me, I had my own place anyway and could have supported both of us. But she was worried, in general, to be dependent on someone and wished to stay on her own feet before going together with someone.

Time passed, economy got worse in the country, and she didn’t get the chance she hoped for (although she tried and had lots of interviews). After three years things broke down entirely, there always were discussions and issues like when I wanted to go on holidays (and even take her with me for free) and she didn’t feel it’s a good idea.

While I understand her position, since I love to be independent myself, there simply was no solution to the problem and then things went downhill completely.

None of you were in love with another. You were just together for convenience. Economy my ass!

You should had been a MAN and convince woman you loved to not to worry about shit because without you she would have to survive on her own but with you - you would support each other!

I say there werent mutual feelings. Not enough effort and I though you said Norway was the richest country.

I honestly do not fathom to see man let go a woman because she doesnt feel like he can be her support. Sadly.
click to expand


She cried enough tears so I believe there were feelings. I’d think it’s been a fight between heart and ideals maybe. I told her she doesn’t have to worry about anything but that just opened a discussion about if I want to buy her.

I didn’t live in Norway then, not that it matters.
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LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 11076 · Posts: 35719 · Topics: 110
Posted by Timone

Not that important as long as you have enough to pay for yourself and don't need to struggle to make ends meet.

I'm actually quite simple and prefer spending time with the person I'm with instead of barely seeing them because they're busy working wanting more and more.

Yes work to live, not live to work. I agree with you 100%

If you have enough to survive then the issue after that is not so much money but life style . How are you spending the money? How are you spending your time? And if you are on the same page with your partner on that.
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interstice
@Lula_
4 Years

Comments: 278 · Posts: 105 · Topics: 0
Posted by DK
Posted by MonaLisa26
Posted by DK

Many years ago I met a woman I loved with all my heart, but she didn’t have much money and thought it wise to get a job and a good income to stay independent. Sadly that lead to our demise as time went by and she never made it….c me but I understand her point of view even though the outcome made me sad.

How important is money to you?

Ok. I didnt get it. She didnt have money.

She thought it wise to get a job and a good income to stay independent. She never made it.

She could had lived with you BUT but you understand her point of view...ON WHAT—

Its messed up. WHat happened?

She could’ve moved in and lived with me, I had my own place anyway and could have supported both of us. But she was worried, in general, to be dependent on someone and wished to stay on her own feet before going together with someone.

Time passed, economy got worse in the country, and she didn’t get the chance she hoped for (although she tried and had lots of interviews). After three years things broke down entirely, there always were discussions and issues like when I wanted to go on holidays (and even take her with me for free) and she didn’t feel it’s a good idea.

While I understand her position, since I love to be independent myself, there simply was no solution to the problem and then things went downhill completely.
click to expand


How noble of you— you're a compassionate and gracious man. I'm so sorry it didn't work out.
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Truemara
@Truemara
4 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1682 · Posts: 2228 · Topics: 11
Posted by MonaLisa26
Posted by DK
Posted by MonaLisa26
Posted by DK

Many years ago I met a woman I loved with all my heart, but she didn’t have much money and thought it wise to get a job and a good income to stay independent. Sadly that lead to our demise as time went by and she never made it….c me but I understand her point of view even though the outcome made me sad.

How important is money to you?

Ok. I didnt get it. She didnt have money.

She thought it wise to get a job and a good income to stay independent. She never made it.

She could had lived with you BUT but you understand her point of view...ON WHAT—

Its messed up. WHat happened?

She could’ve moved in and lived with me, I had my own place anyway and could have supported both of us. But she was worried, in general, to be dependent on someone and wished to stay on her own feet before going together with someone.

Time passed, economy got worse in the country, and she didn’t get the chance she hoped for (although she tried and had lots of interviews). After three years things broke down entirely, there always were discussions and issues like when I wanted to go on holidays (and even take her with me for free) and she didn’t feel it’s a good idea.

While I understand her position, since I love to be independent myself, there simply was no solution to the problem and then things went downhill completely.

None of you were in love with another. You were just together for convenience. Economy my ass!

You should had been a MAN and convince woman you loved to not to worry about shit because without you she would have to survive on her own but with you - you would support each other!

I say there werent mutual feelings. Not enough effort and I though you said Norway was the richest country.

I honestly do not fathom to see man let go a woman because she doesnt feel like he can be her support. Sadly.
click to expand


Who wants a lazy ass to carry around n support

Did you not read he tried to be supportive
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Timone
@Timone
5 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 2984 · Posts: 1624 · Topics: 4
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by Timone

Not that important as long as you have enough to pay for yourself and don't need to struggle to make ends meet.

I'm actually quite simple and prefer spending time with the person I'm with instead of barely seeing them because they're busy working wanting more and more.

Yes work to live, not live to work. I agree with you 100%

If you have enough to survive then the issue after that is not so much money but life style . How are you spending the money? How are you spending your time? And if you are on the same page with your partner on that.
click to expand



Exactly! We only have one life. I don't want to spend my whole life working to death.
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Timone
@Timone
5 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 2984 · Posts: 1624 · Topics: 4
Posted by Maxian
Posted by Timone
Posted by Maxian
Posted by Timone
Posted by Maxian

It's important to the point you're able to sustain yourself if you ever go your separate ways. It will be quite a harder shift if you have depended on someone for a long time.

Unfortunately this happen too often to women. They can't afford to leave the man or he leaves her and suddenly she's on her own without any money.

Yes, and I think that's why @DK and his ex-partner didn't work. Could be wrong.

Dependency on someone creates imbalance in dynamics. It's much harder to make that shift mentally, emotionally, (physically sometimes even) after having lived a certain life style .

I think there's a difference between someone choosing to be dependent on someone vs someone really trying but not being successful because of whatever circumstances. I will help someone who's in hardship if they also make the effort.

I agree. But it's still dependency. And basing this of OP and from her point of view, it seems she didn't want to feel dependent on someone which can affect you mentally and emotionally.
click to expand



Yeh it's hard to be dependent on someone else if that's not what you want. I would feel indebt to that person.
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BaeMaxx
@BaeMaxx
3 Years

Comments: 164 · Posts: 418 · Topics: 15
Posted by DK

Many years ago I met a woman I loved with all my heart, but she didn’t have much money and thought it wise to get a job and a good income to stay independent. Sadly that lead to our demise as time went by and she never made it…. she could’ve simply lived with me but I understand her point of view even though the outcome made me sad.

How important is money to you?


Money is important for me. Not gonna lie. And it's important for me that I have my own income. I adore housewives but I always feel like if I'm in a relationship, I should contribute financially so my partner isn't too burdened making a living for both of us.
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BaeMaxx
@BaeMaxx
3 Years

Comments: 164 · Posts: 418 · Topics: 15
Posted by borednbeautiful
Posted by alexscaries
Posted by borednbeautiful

When you don’t have any money and any support, you realize money is extremely important!

The more money you have though, the less important it is.

When it comes to relationships, it’s all about what we can build together. Let’s support one another in best ways possible.

For example, if I didn’t contribute financially I could cook, clean and be his personal assistant. If he didn’t have any money, he could help me with same tasks and maintenance. And of course, mental and emotional and sexual collaboration too.

I'm definitely into the 50/50 thing. Not everyone is and that's fine by me. I find it extremely hard if I am doted on.

Yeah, I also prefer a partnership. I don’t want a man to fully support me and I don’t want to fully support any man. Not unless something tragic happened, beyond anyone’s control. And it would be okay temporarily too (like if someone was getting additional education for a better job and similar).

I once depended on a man temporarily and it left such a bad taste in me that I never want to repeat it again 😏
click to expand



This. My mum was a housewife. When my dad died, apart from the money he left us, no other income was coming in. We experienced riches to rags. Told myself it won't happen to me ever again by not being a housewife. I don't want my husband being the only person working. My dad worked his ass off as a lawyer. I barely saw him. I want my husband to be able to have time for us because he's not trapped being the sole provider. He's not pressured to always work.
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Greylatern, The Laughing Heart
@Lostthoughts
6 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 461 · Posts: 2949 · Topics: 30
So long as it's mutual is some form that works for both.

I'm low key and low maintenance person. Really don't need much. Quality time & intamacy in a relationship and I'm good.

I like doing couple shit too.

I wouldn't mind being the sole bread winner. I like being a provider. But The idea of working my life away and rarely ever seeing her is not ok with me.

I need to change somethings in my life to be able to do a more traditional step up like that. Or she would need to value other things more then money and material shit. I do like spoiling though. Catch 22?

On my end, physically effectionate more then anything else, giving and receiving.

Yup I am definitely want to partner up and settle down. No options atm though.

I find myself looking none the less.
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Greylatern, The Laughing Heart
@Lostthoughts
6 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 461 · Posts: 2949 · Topics: 30
Posted by Timone
Posted by Maxian
Posted by Timone
Posted by Maxian
Posted by Timone
Posted by Maxian

It's important to the point you're able to sustain yourself if you ever go your separate ways. It will be quite a harder shift if you have depended on someone for a long time.

Unfortunately this happen too often to women. They can't afford to leave the man or he leaves her and suddenly she's on her own without any money.

Yes, and I think that's why @DK and his ex-partner didn't work. Could be wrong.

Dependency on someone creates imbalance in dynamics. It's much harder to make that shift mentally, emotionally, (physically sometimes even) after having lived a certain life style .

I think there's a difference between someone choosing to be dependent on someone vs someone really trying but not being successful because of whatever circumstances. I will help someone who's in hardship if they also make the effort.

I agree. But it's still dependency. And basing this of OP and from her point of view, it seems she didn't want to feel dependent on someone which can affect you mentally and emotionally.

Yeh it's hard to be dependent on someone else if that's not what you want. I would feel indebt to that person.
click to expand


This has always been my concern. If there isn't a clear sense of mutuality, it can taint the relationship. This has happened to me.

Traditional relationship have that handled though clear roles.



Feeling indebted, feeling like your taking advantage ( not by choice). I like mixed ones were each side has a form of independence because there is never this feeling. Each party is there because they want to be, by choice.

Bring a overthinking is a lot of fun🙄
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Soul
@Soul
11 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 2338 · Posts: 17034 · Topics: 110
It's not important. Though I wouldn't force a woman to stop working if she truly didn't want to. All the men I grew up around were the type who would make sure they made enough money to support a family while making sure the woman never had to work. Her job was to maintain funds, and the household. They were all old school. I'm specifically talking about my father, and grandfather. I kind of feel the same way, but not as intensely. I could 100% live happy with someone who splits the bill in a sense. Meaning we both work, both do chores, and both keep things functioning. Though if I met a woman who wanted to live a more old school life style , I'd have absolutely no problem bringing in money just as long as she kept the household and bills functioning. At the same time if I met a woman who wanted to work, and we do household chores and manage funds together or when possible, that also is completely fine in my book.
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7 months without a single dip
@Jumpin_Jupiter
6 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 4302 · Posts: 8501 · Topics: 106
I don't really know. I think it's all about balance. Money is important. I think it's crazy for everybody in the household to be broke and nobody bringing home nothing. I wouldn't mind being the bread and butter in the family, as if I never was. I've worked 3 jobs in a day and come home to cook and clean and still manage to squeeze time to go to the gym to pump some iron. I balanced my time, money and family.
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7 months without a single dip
@Jumpin_Jupiter
6 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 4302 · Posts: 8501 · Topics: 106
Op I hope you don't mind me taking this thread to a higher level lol. I think girls are important for younger dudes like I'm talking high school dudes. Like if I had a teenage son I'm gone try and encourage him to get a girlfriend. Even if i have to take him out girl hunting. I started young myself and i would want the same for my son or sons, plural. I think girls are more important for them in their young lives then they can always get a job later and money come second.
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Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11846 · Topics: 2
Posted by alexscaries

Ambition is more important than money. Some women say that they want a rich man to take care of them what they forget is might be working 60 hours a week and barely see her.


If you’re spending very little time with your partner so they can be a money churner, and the woman is satisfied with that, then she’s a gold digger and this is hardly considered a relationship. This is more an arrangement devoid of emotions.
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Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11846 · Topics: 2
Money is as important as I’m living comfortably. I believe in work/life balance for myself and for my man. I don’t want my man to be running on a treadmill for most hours in a day for an employer/his business. I don’t even do that! There should be a balance between family/me time and money making time. You should have enough to live comfortably and not be insatiable (want/hoard more than you need), because I bet you it’s going to come at the expense of family time and your health.
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longafternoonnaps
@virgoOPPP
6 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 5410 · Posts: 10901 · Topics: 288
what i really don't understand is men who i feel use money to exploit and control in most cases uneducated (tho very clever) women just to end up getting scammed by said women.

if a woman presented herself as simply, genuinely interested in you. and doesn't seem to want anything beyond your time and attention.

as opposed to a woman who seems to continuously share financial problems with you.

why do i get this sense that 8 out of 10 times a dude would always favor the one with the problems?
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GemiMay
@GemiMay
3 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 733 · Posts: 2497 · Topics: 132
Many years ago I met a woman I loved with all my heart, but she didn’t have much money and thought it wise to get a job and a good income to stay independent. Sadly that lead to our demise as time went by and she never made it…. she could’ve simply lived with me but I understand her point of view even though the outcome made me sad.

How important is money to you?


I remeber this story of yours. Is it hunting you down?

THAT woman’s actions could be not like anyone else’s. Why did she died? Was it drugs?

I say nobody going to give you a real story. I had dated all sorts of men. Some I had to support and some supported me.

One was extremely wealthy but I wouldn’t take a sandwich from him without fight. I can not explain why.

At the moment I am cozy with Virgo is spending money on me. I always ask though. May I have this or that? I am feeling comfortable with him financially.

And of course I would never refuse luxury however if I didn’t love man I would never accept luxury. I’ve tried that all. It doesn’t work. This is why I respect prostitutes. It’s an art to have sex for money…it’s fucking hard!

That woman could be in love with you so she didn’t want you to see her as moocher OR not liking you so she wouldn’t sell herself.

You need to let it go. You’ll never know.