@Gemitati
11 Years25,000+ Posts
How is one different from another?
Understanding Privacy and Consent in Sexual Behaviors
Masturbating, fantasizing, and having sex with a spouse are personal choices generally accepted by society. Sharing these experiences with others without consent can be considered inappropriate or cheating. The key difference lies in privacy, consent, and social norms surrounding sexual behavior.
Posted by Ajna
Aside from what society thinks...Uhhhh...The relationship may need a bit of...
looking over if thinking of another
while having sex is the norm yes?
I thought so until many years ago I had read that phantasising about anyone in bed with your partner IS Okey!!!
Fantasy is not action. Duh.
I dream of frowning upon a person while having sex with my spouse what?
Posted by Ajna
Aside from what society thinks...Uhhhh...The relationship may need a bit of...
looking over if thinking of another
while having sex is the norm yes?
I thought so until many years ago I had read that phantasising about anyone in bed with your partner IS Okey!!!
Well what do (you) think about it?
Never mind what someone else
may write about what's right or wrong for
(your) relationship :/
click to expand
But there are still norms of socially approved or disapproved actions.
Some thinks killing in revenge is ok. But they get put in jail even if they think its right.
That's what I am asking about.
Posted by LadyNeptune
Fantasy is not action. Duh.
I was talking about actions on fantasies...duh huh!
Posted by Ajna
Your asking why masturbation is acceptedby society (looking at porn) but thinking of
someone else while having sex with your
partner is not? This what you mean?
She's asking why fantasizing and masturbation aren't on the same tier as cheating. Why the first is acceptable in society and the last is not.
She asks because she is currently cheating on her husband and wants to validate her choice of life style .
Posted by Ajna
Your asking why masturbation is acceptedby society (looking at porn) but thinking of
someone else while having sex with your
partner is not? This what you mean?
She's asking why fantasizing and masturbation aren't on the same tier as cheating. Why the first is acceptable in society and the last is not.
She asks because she is currently cheating on her husband and wants to validate her choice of life style .
click to expand
Not true.
She is asking because she wants to know why is society so contradictory in their permissions and restrictions.
Who said that sex with man you married to is ok if you are thinking about man on a silver screen or even your husband brother
BUT
if it is man you know in person (but maybe haven't even talk to ever) is called 'emotional cheating' and need to be treated ASAP by shrinks?
If I had fantasized about celebrity its ok but if I had men said celebrity I would have to have a shrink talking to me 'how dare you'? Sounds kind of like society norms are messed up!
...if I had met said celebrity...
You are hurting not only yourself but other ppl, don't justify your bad behavior with what you perceive as other bad behavior. I see nothing wrong with porn, watching it as a cpl or either party masturbating to it, if your open and honest, also, in my opinion, if you want to have sex with someone else, and your open and honest and we decide on that type of relationship, the go for it. It's the secrets, that's the problem.
Posted by TaurusinTexas
You are hurting not only yourself but other ppl, don't justify your bad behavior with what you perceive as other bad behavior. I see nothing wrong with porn, watching it as a cpl or either party masturbating to it, if your open and honest, also, in my opinion, if you want to have sex with someone else, and your open and honest and we decide on that type of relationship, the go for it. It's the secrets, that's the problem.
I wish my every post would be viewed as about my personal life!
I have time to kill and I am killing it.
Though I appreciate your saying (I do get what you are saying) - can that question be viewed as general and not justification of what I am doing at this point?
And if you want to talk about ME - I am as hurt as others. Wish you didn't have to experience that ever in your life. It is nothing ppl call for. Or happy about. Its like a mental illness. So far no one invented cure for it so...maybe IF they will - I will ask for a pill. But do not throw the stone...ok?
Posted by tiziani
Because of money.
I am sure you could had done better!
Posted by tiziani
Because of money.I am sure you could had done better!
I don't even know what that is in reference to.
click to expand
Doesn't your PC showing you your post I had QUOTED?
About money what? Everyone praising you like a smart one...wait NO they said the nicest one...so forget it.
LOL
Some people view porn as cheating when
someone goes to great lengths to keep it a
secret.
Posted by Ajna
Aside from what society thinks...Uhhhh...The relationship may need a bit of...
looking over if thinking of another
while having sex is the norm yes?
I thought so until many years ago I had read that phantasising about anyone in bed with your partner IS Okey!!!
Well what do (you) think about it?
Never mind what someone else
may write about what's right or wrong for
(your) relationship :/
But there are still norms of socially approved or disapproved actions.
Some thinks killing in revenge is ok. But they get put in jail even if they think its right.
That's what I am asking about.
But not "all" of us think revenge
crime is okay...
I think I understand though where
you are coming from. That's why
I feel in situations like this and
all others we may need to look inside
ourselves first to find the answer.
Not in the media...
Not in a movie...
Me personally
I don't necessarily think using
society here on Earth in this
current time as being the only
means of guidance wise.
Its views are
looked at and acknowledged but
it never hovers over what I feel first.
As cheesy as It may come off as,
I listen to center first.
I don't stand behind
the death penalty and I don't
eat meat (which are things
I suppose are okay by society.
To me it's about 'listening'...
Really listening and feelingggg...
I feel right now the collective here
do not do this. It's about solely the
intelligence of always 'going out there',
old programs and being highly polarized.
Never really about the intelligence of
'going inside' to find answers.
What would you (feel)
if your partner revealed to you
that you were never thought about
while making love to? Would you be
okay if you were not the one they
desired in the middle of sex?
I would say it comes down to
the foundation of you, the relationship
and what is 'understood'
on the surface between
both parties.
click to expand
I had deleted most I hate these scrolling down...LOL
I understand what you are saying and this is why I go by my own guts.
If society standards are screwed up - am I supposed to consider?
It had been said 'do throw the stone if you are without sin;...
so when people judging without regards to a person - I do not really care!
Because I am sure most of 'judges' done some worse things but they had never
reveal it to the world of the DXPnet.
I had been scolded by a man in another forum who claimed to be a saint in his marriage...
like Hare just posted clip of the man throwing money into a voluptuous girl...
- this man who is still claim to be a perfect husband and judging everyone for I nfidelity
asked me I f we he can blindfold me...
I had lost trust in 'saint' men in forums.
First of all I am saying WHY are you here looking for juicy stories from strangers?
I know why now. He said after I read yours I can go and have better sex with my wife!!
Classic, right? So...these 'society standards' are just for those who knows no life or simply
lying trough their teeth to feel better about themselves. IN FORUMS!
Would anyone be here if they could spend these hours cuddling with loved ones?
Tell me...LOL
Posted by tiziani
Because of money.I am sure you could had done better!
I don't even know what that is in reference to.
Doesn't your PC showing you your post I had QUOTED?
About money what? Everyone praising you like a smart one...wait NO they said the nicest one...so forget it.
LOL
That has nothing to do your thread. You asked and the difference is money.
click to expand
WHYmoney?
I had never said someone pays someone? Have I? Enlighten me superman! 🙂
Posted by Montgomery
Some people view porn as cheating whensomeone goes to great lengths to keep it a
secret.
But 'society' said ITS OK!
So are these people anti-society?
Like those girls who don'tlet their man masturbate? LOL
Posted by tiziani
Because of money.I am sure you could had done better!
I don't even know what that is in reference to.
Doesn't your PC showing you your post I had QUOTED?
About money what? Everyone praising you like a smart one...wait NO they said the nicest one...so forget it.
LOL
That has nothing to do your thread. You asked and the difference is money.
WHYmoney?
I had never said someone pays someone? Have I? Enlighten me superman! 🙂
I've answered your thread. You're off topic. It's a shame because this would have been a good topic but you screwed it up.
click to expand
Help me put it back on track your Majesty!
I am serious. It can't be THAT screwed up. I can delete something that interfiering...
Posted by Montgomery
Some people view porn as cheating whensomeone goes to great lengths to keep it a
secret.
But 'society' said ITS OK!
So are these people anti-society?
Like those girls who don'tlet their man masturbate? LOL
click to expand
Im not familiar with "those girls."
But society is hardly a standard by which you
should gauge yourself.
Society sucks.
Posted by Montgomery
Some people view porn as cheating whensomeone goes to great lengths to keep it a
secret.
I would say 2 out of 3 women I've been with view porn as cheating, period. I don't know where all these liberal porn-approving partners are found irl.
click to expand
In a way, it is.
And yeah, they're the exception.
Posted by Ajna
Aside from what society thinks...Uhhhh...The relationship may need a bit of...
looking over if thinking of another
while having sex is the norm yes?
You are going to have to read ALL my posts but I am sure you have better things to do...
I thought so until many years ago I had read that phantasising about anyone in bed with your partner IS Okey!!!
Well what do (you) think about it?
Never mind what someone else
may write about what's right or wrong for
(your) relationship :/
But there are still norms of socially approved or disapproved actions.
Some thinks killing in revenge is ok. But they get put in jail even if they think its right.
That's what I am asking about.
But not "all" of us think revenge
crime is okay...
I think I understand though where
you are coming from. That's why
I feel in situations like this and
all others we may need to look inside
ourselves first to find the answer.
Not in the media...
Not in a movie...
Me personally
I don't necessarily think using
society here on Earth in this
current time as being the only
means of guidance wise.
Its views are
looked at and acknowledged but
it never hovers over what I feel first.
As cheesy as It may come off as,
I listen to center first.
I don't stand behind
the death penalty and I don't
eat meat (which are things
I suppose are okay by society.
To me it's about 'listening'...
Really listening and feelingggg...
I feel right now the collective here
do not do this. It's about solely the
intelligence of always 'going out there',
old programs and being highly polarized.
Never really about the intelligence of
'going inside' to find answers.
What would you (feel)
if your partner revealed to you
that you were never thought about
while making love to? Would you be
okay if you were not the one they
desired in the middle of sex?
I would say it comes down to
the foundation of you, the relationship
and what is 'understood'
on the surface between
both parties.
I had deleted most I hate these scrolling down...LOL
I understand what you are saying and this is why I go by my own guts.
If society standards are screwed up - am I supposed to consider?
It had been said 'do throw the stone if you are without sin;...
so when people judging without regards to a person - I do not really care!
Because I am sure most of 'judges' done some worse things but they had never
reveal it to the world of the DXPnet.
I had been scolded by a man in another forum who claimed to be a saint in his marriage...
like Hare just posted clip of the man throwing money into a voluptuous girl...
- this man who is still claim to be a perfect husband and judging everyone for I nfidelity
asked me I f we he can blindfold me...
I had lost trust in 'saint' men in forums.
First of all I am saying WHY are you here looking for juicy stories from strangers?
I know why now. He said after I read yours I can go and have better sex with my wife!!
Classic, right? So...these 'society standards' are just for those who knows no life or simply
lying trough their teeth to feel better about themselves. IN FORUMS!
Would anyone be here if they could spend these hours cuddling with loved ones?
Tell me...LOL
I go by what's inside AND what's outside.
I don't let the outside be the ruler of
my own compass but it IS looked at
and acknowledged .never mind what
others say or think of youuuuu.
That's putting a foreign perspective
on your own...on your own path.
let it help you if it resonates
or dispose of it if not...
What is this really abouuuut? lol
😕
click to expand
Posted by LadyNeptune
Fantasy is not action. Duh.I was talking about actions on fantasies...duh huh!
click to expand
Getting yourself off on a fantasy is not betraying the person you promised your fidelity too. Acting on fantasies with another person and pursuing them, is.
This is apparently obvious to everyone but you.
Posted by Ajna
Aside from what society thinks...Uhhhh...The relationship may need a bit of...
looking over if thinking of another
while having sex is the norm yes?
Its all about difficult love none of us can let go...even if at the end we know it might going to kill us or make us stronger. The tale is cool. And screwed up to the core! LOL
I thought so until many years ago I had read that phantasising about anyone in bed with your partner IS Okey!!!
Well what do (you) think about it?
Never mind what someone else
may write about what's right or wrong for
(your) relationship :/
But there are still norms of socially approved or disapproved actions.
Some thinks killing in revenge is ok. But they get put in jail even if they think its right.
That's what I am asking about.
But not "all" of us think revenge
crime is okay...
I think I understand though where
you are coming from. That's why
I feel in situations like this and
all others we may need to look inside
ourselves first to find the answer.
Not in the media...
Not in a movie...
Me personally
I don't necessarily think using
society here on Earth in this
current time as being the only
means of guidance wise.
Its views are
looked at and acknowledged but
it never hovers over what I feel first.
As cheesy as It may come off as,
I listen to center first.
I don't stand behind
the death penalty and I don't
eat meat (which are things
I suppose are okay by society.
To me it's about 'listening'...
Really listening and feelingggg...
I feel right now the collective here
do not do this. It's about solely the
intelligence of always 'going out there',
old programs and being highly polarized.
Never really about the intelligence of
'going inside' to find answers.
What would you (feel)
if your partner revealed to you
that you were never thought about
while making love to? Would you be
okay if you were not the one they
desired in the middle of sex?
I would say it comes down to
the foundation of you, the relationship
and what is 'understood'
on the surface between
both parties.
I had deleted most I hate these scrolling down...LOL
I understand what you are saying and this is why I go by my own guts.
If society standards are screwed up - am I supposed to consider?
It had been said 'do throw the stone if you are without sin;...
so when people judging without regards to a person - I do not really care!
Because I am sure most of 'judges' done some worse things but they had never
reveal it to the world of the DXPnet.
I had been scolded by a man in another forum who claimed to be a saint in his marriage...
like Hare just posted clip of the man throwing money into a voluptuous girl...
- this man who is still claim to be a perfect husband and judging everyone for I nfidelity
asked me I f we he can blindfold me...
I had lost trust in 'saint' men in forums.
First of all I am saying WHY are you here looking for juicy stories from strangers?
I know why now. He said after I read yours I can go and have better sex with my wife!!
Classic, right? So...these 'society standards' are just for those who knows no life or simply
lying trough their teeth to feel better about themselves. IN FORUMS!
Would anyone be here if they could spend these hours cuddling with loved ones?
Tell me...LOL
I go by what's inside AND what's outside.
I don't let the outside be the ruler of
my own compass but it IS looked at
and acknowledged .never mind what
others say or think of youuuuu.
That's putting a foreign perspective
on your own...on your own path.
let it help you if it resonates
or dispose of it if not...
What is this really abouuuut? lol
😕
click to expand
Posted by LadyNeptune
Fantasy is not action. Duh.I was talking about actions on fantasies...duh huh!
Getting yourself off on a fantasy is not betraying the person you promised your fidelity too. Acting on fantasies with another person and pursuing them, is.
This is apparently obvious to everyone but you.
click to expand
Living in perfect world hon? Good for you! I would like the link to the happiness. Anytime. Thanks
Posted by LadyNeptune
Fantasy is not action. Duh.I was talking about actions on fantasies...duh huh!
Getting yourself off on a fantasy is not betraying the person you promised your fidelity too. Acting on fantasies with another person and pursuing them, is.
This is apparently obvious to everyone but you.
Living in perfect world hon? Good for you! I would like the link to the happiness. Anytime. Thanks
click to expand
I never mentioned happiness, hon.
I'm taking about upholding your promises and commitments. Respecting yourself and the ones you profess to 'love' by being honest.
Basic decency type stuff.
Posted by LadyNeptune
Fantasy is not action. Duh.I was talking about actions on fantasies...duh huh!
Getting yourself off on a fantasy is not betraying the person you promised your fidelity too. Acting on fantasies with another person and pursuing them, is.
This is apparently obvious to everyone but you.
click to expandSo are we going to be miserable to make some people happy?
Had never heard misery makes happiness...talk to me doll!
Posted by Gemitati
Why is masturbating to the porn is a norm as well as having sex with your spouse and dreaming they are movie stars doesn't frown upon by society whentalking to a person you know and do the same is a cheating?
What gives?
You're a whore, aren't you?
click to expand
I am pretty sure you wouldn't to be want like me but if you are we can put curtains down and discuss the matter...just don't blindfold me unless you are look like shit!LOL
You can't both love your husband and betray him by being a cheater. The two are mutually exclusive.
You and you alone are responsible for your happiness. If your miserable then do something about it. But be honorable. Don't injure your family, your husband by lying...cheating...living in the shadows.
They say the truth will set you free. It'll also set free everyone around you.
Posted by LadyNeptune
You can't both love your husband and betray him by being a cheater. The two are mutually exclusive.
Have you ever been married for 23 years?
YES we can. And we ARE!
I had expressed it more than...10 times...
If your spouse of 20+ years got you nowhere because he doesn't want anything in life except TV and dinner and drink - you are OK with it until someone come up and shows you LOVING! And friggin unfortunately his wife also shows him no devotion except because he makes tons of money.
Have you have no aunts or uncles who are living a LIE so your family of 25 people will shut up and don't judge and you support them and this is how life goes. Don't forget our grown up kids who are feeling entitled to have 'perfect parents'? I am sure you know as much about it as I know about nuclear physics!
Posted by Montgomery
Some people view porn as cheating whensomeone goes to great lengths to keep it a
secret.
I would say 2 out of 3 women I've been with view porn as cheating, period. I don't know where all these liberal porn-approving partners are found irl.
click to expand
I don't view porn as cheating. If it's out of control porn all day all night then that's a problem. I haven't came across that problem & hope I never have to lol
Posted by LadyNeptune
You can't both love your husband and betray him by being a cheater. The two are mutually exclusive.Have you ever been married for 23 years?
YES we can. And we ARE!
I had expressed it more than...10 times...
If your spouse of 20+ years got you nowhere because he doesn't want anything in life except TV and dinner and drink - you are OK with it until someone come up and shows you LOVING! And friggin unfortunately his wife also shows him no devotion except because he makes tons of money.
Have you have no aunts or uncles who are living a LIE so your family of 25 people will shut up and don't judge and you support them and this is how life goes. Don't forget our grown up kids who are feeling entitled to have 'perfect parents'? I am sure you know as much about it as I know about nuclear physics!
click to expand
You are not a victim, you have made this choice to be unhappy and you've been doing it for what 10 or so years now. Why do you hate yourself so much, that you believe you only deserve to live this half life you're living or is it that you love yourself so much that you believe that your wants are more important than anyone else's? I honestly don't know which it is, when a person does something like this to the ppl they love.
Posted by Montgomery
Some people view porn as cheating whensomeone goes to great lengths to keep it a
secret.
I would say 2 out of 3 women I've been with view porn as cheating, period. I don't know where all these liberal porn-approving partners are found irl.
In a way, it is.
And yeah, they're the exception.
You feel like it is a type of cheating? What has been your experience with partners who want to look at porn and how did it affect things in that relationship?
click to expand
Do I detect a bit of incredulity in the first
question?
🙂
Yeah when it screws with their perception of
themselves, and steals their energy I do feel
cheated, yes.
Cocaine is also a cruel and demanding
mistress.
Maybe that clarifies better.
It isn't cheating in the same way that an actual
affair is cheating (though it's a fine line), but the
fallout is often very similar.
It's a real drag. 😐
My eyes why? Just why?
Posted by Gemitati
Why is masturbating to the porn is a norm as well as having sex with your spouse and dreaming they are movie stars doesn't frown upon by society whentalking to a person you know and do the same is a cheating?
What gives?
Try to turn the tables (so that it will be your husband thinking about the woman he is cheating on you with, when he is having sex with you) and see if you can figure out, what the difference is..... I am almost betting, that one will make you feel worse and more betrayed than the other.
click to expand
We don't have sex.
Posted by Gemitati
Why is masturbating to the porn is a norm as well as having sex with your spouse and dreaming they are movie stars doesn't frown upon by society whentalking to a person you know and do the same is a cheating?
What gives?
Try to turn the tables (so that it will be your husband thinking about the woman he is cheating on you with, when he is having sex with you) and see if you can figure out, what the difference is..... I am almost betting, that one will make you feel worse and more betrayed than the other.
We don't have sex.
I asked you this before but you never answered: are you his caretaker of some sort? Did he fall ill and you´re now taking care of him? Or what kind of marriage is this? And why are you so reluctant to just tell it? I know you don´t have to, but why the big secret?
click to expand
No secret at all and I told this before.
We are having siblingly love.
See I could tell it again but bunch of volchers will be all over it and shit on.
I just don't want to do it again here
Posted by notsosure
I think you´re just gonna have to accept the fact, that nobody here will give you a pass on this... Regardless of how you try to frame it, compaire the cheating to a fantasy about a pornstar, but it´s just never gonna be okay what you are doing, and it´s so weird to me, why you keep making topics trying to make it okay and then again and again get angry with people, when they do not agree with you lying to the ones you are supposed to love.And what frustrates people the most, is that are you are feeling so good and contempt about going behind the backs of people, you are supposed to love. There is no regret, remorse, selfreflection, nothing. You will keep running your head against a wall here I think...
You know...I think if I post something like
'Sun is shining' someone here will say
'Why because you are cheating?'
It came to be ridiculous. Why do you like anythin I say to my personal life?
Did this help you decode the behavior?
dxpnet has hosted real conversations like this since 2000. If you value independent communities, you can support the site below.
Every contribution helps keep dxpnet independent and ad-light.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →
Why is masturbating to the porn is a norm as well as having sex with your spouse and dreaming they are movie stars doesn't frown upon by society when
talking to a person you know and do the same is a cheating?
What gives?