Montgomery
@Montgomery
12 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 552 · Posts: 18848 · Topics: 149
Partner Wife or Mistress Life (Page 2)
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Posted by BlackMambaEver been married?Posted by HuldraThat's not what keeps a marriage strong. Americans are just dumb. Never mind
"Passion and love is overrated and this is coming from a super passionate soul"
That sounds jaded af. Come on
@justagirl,
Putting own spin on every thread is the nature of dxp beast.click to expand
Whichever person captures your smile before they put their head on the pillow next to yours...is the winning answer I think.
Posted by Huldraof course, i do it all the time 🙂
"Passion and love is overrated and this is coming from a super passionate soul"
That sounds jaded af. Come on
@justagirl,
Putting own spin on every thread is the nature of dxp beast.
Posted by Damnata😆
I can almost see @Tiziani floating in the air with his salesman smile, going to those two women from the scenarios:
"Yeah, it might be bad and all..but single life is horrific, right?"
Posted by tizianiI think that was the original answer to Mr Darcy's proposal.Posted by BlackMambaThis should be a line out of a period drama tv movie scriptPosted by MontgomerIt sounds like a miserable endeavor but I am willing to partake for the children which I have yet to give birth to.
yPosted by BlackMambaEver been married?Posted by HuldraThat's not what keeps a marriage strong. Americans are just dumb. Never mind
"Passion and love is overrated and this is coming from a super passionate soul"
That sounds jaded af. Come on
@justagirl,
Putting own spin on every thread is the nature of dxp beast.click to expand
Posted by BlackMamba😐Posted by MontgomeryIt sounds like a miserable endeavor but I am willing to partake for the children which I have yet to give birth to.Posted by BlackMambaEver been married?Posted by HuldraThat's not what keeps a marriage strong. Americans are just dumb. Never mind
"Passion and love is overrated and this is coming from a super passionate soul"
That sounds jaded af. Come on
@justagirl,
Putting own spin on every thread is the nature of dxp beast.click to expand
Fair enough.
Because it was pretty brilliant 😄
Posted by MontgomeryNah, made it for CC. Found her reply fitting.Posted by DamnataDid you make that or is cc stealing lines
from Natalie Portman movies?
click to expand
It's a hommage to LEO moons if you may..😄
Posted by DamnataBeing in a public place does not equal having a public life. Otherwise it will mean I'm having a public life every time I get out of the house. Look around you. Do you think someone acknowledges your presence, unless you are offending their eye or ears 🙂? You would have to put on a show or meet up with people who know who you are...like in the first scenario.Posted by UndineFirst woman can be just as secure in her own value, because she can define security in self in any way she wants. Again, the need to show off? Just because they can post pictures on FB about their partnership and their vacations?
The second scenario is that of a woman who appears to have it all, and it is secure enough in her own value, to not feel the need to show off.
Being private does not mean she hides herself either. She and her husband could go to the theatre, cinema, concerts, restaurants, holidays together. She cannot avoid Christmas with in-laws either,
At the same time, they also have their own friends (before marriage) and hobbies. Meeting friends separately is far better than attending the same party. She doesn't have to complain of being ignored by him the whole time. After all, we don't go to a party to hung on and entertain our spouse. We could have done that at home, Ask the men, if you don't believe it.
"theatre, cinema, concerts, restaurants, holidays" = public places
Agreed on friends.
click to expand
For me, the two scenarios are about intimacy versus social life. In real life, intimacy (the things you do when there is just the two of us and no one is watching) is what a partnership is about. I'm not surprised that most women over 29 opted for the second scenario - they have more experience! Social life is a smaller part, and it does not need to be spent together. Work-related socialising becomes the norm. We don't need to share each others hobby either. Or friends and relatives. Why dragging him to meet with yours, when he could go and meet his? Bringing all together should be the answer? It doesn't really work like that IRL.
What I don't like about the first scenario, is that they are living in a housemate type of relationship.
Moreover, she has no job and spends her life on social media and partying. She didn't start breeding yet. Once she does, the travelling and partying would be things of the past.
The man is a high achiever who is out to make money and network, which means he has little time for her. She will be on her on, even at the same party, aka networking opportunity FOR HIM.
The title doesn't really match the description. She is in no way a partner. She is more often than not a very lonely woman. She is more often than not a cheated woman.
I was shocked to find some of you aspiring to this way of life in drag. For me, it would be like selling my soul for money.
Moreover, she has no job and spends her life on social media and partying. She didn't start breeding yet. Once she does, the travelling and partying would be things of the past.
The man is a high achiever who is out to make money and network, which means he has little time for her. She will be on her on, even at the same party, aka networking opportunity FOR HIM.
The title doesn't really match the description. She is in no way a partner. She is more often than not a very lonely woman. She is more often than not a cheated woman.
I was shocked to find some of you aspiring to this way of life in drag. For me, it would be like selling my soul for money.
To be fair...high achievers with big pockets and little spare time also need a wife. Aka a household manager and a mother to their children. Scenario 1.
It doesn't mean security. Every now and then, a rich man goes bankrupt. There were two cases in the last year in the media, in which a rich man lost everything and then committed suicide. Not before killing his wife and children! In his skewed, controlling view, they were unable of a decent life of their own making.
It doesn't mean security. Every now and then, a rich man goes bankrupt. There were two cases in the last year in the media, in which a rich man lost everything and then committed suicide. Not before killing his wife and children! In his skewed, controlling view, they were unable of a decent life of their own making.
Posted by shellshockerWhy do you have to decide? Find a partner/wife that feels like a mistress. We deserve the whole package, the whole nine yards. Find someone that fulfills you emotionally, sexually, intellectually, and passionately - that's the one you marry.
Scenario#1: Wife and Partner
You are with someone whom you’re attracted to. There is caring and love but passion doesn’t come naturally. It’s rooted in security.
Man has good status, lots of money, woman doesn’t have to work. (if she chooses not to) Your life is fb public with updates on places you go, the new cars you’ve bought, the last party with all your friends and family.
Sometimes you complain to your bff about how yes, it looks wonderful but you fight the urge to find someone more emotionally fulfilling.
Scenario#2: Mate and Lover
You are with man that dominates you sexually or a woman who knows how to satisfy and it’s mostly about passion and devotion. It’s roots are primal.
Man has a good job and status but your relationship is private and you don’t attend a lot of events together. Woman has her own money, position and enjoys her work. You are together for mutual emotional and sexual needs but both of you stand in the public eye alone.
You complain to your bff that you love the intimate bond at the soul level but sometimes wish you shared a public life together.
The whole package is not an option because it’s not sustainable. You will have to sacrifice and choose one over the other.
Which one is more appealing to you?
Posted by Damnata+1...put in the 1st camp
1st scenario without any hesitation.
There is love and caring and everything is in the open.
I'm sold on love and caring vs fleeting and selfish soul mate vibes.
I am the kind of person who loves experiences together, going on adventures and trying activities for the first time so the 2nd scenario would never appeal to me.
I choose scenario 2. It seems more real and has more growth potential than situation #1. Convenience usually doesn't lead up to becoming close or intimate later. Scenario #2 seems to have an element of "I don't quite trust you yet" which can be overcome with time if both people want it it.
Scenario #1 seems to have "peaked" if that makes any sense. Me and my friggin quotes today. Yes, I haven't overlooked it...just bear with it, because I don't know what the hell is up with all these damn quotations today. smh
Scenario #1 seems to have "peaked" if that makes any sense. Me and my friggin quotes today. Yes, I haven't overlooked it...just bear with it, because I don't know what the hell is up with all these damn quotations today. smh
Ironically, from my observances, people in the second scenario often aspire and long for the first one over time.
Reason being, and this is just my opinion, but eventually you figure out what matters most...your spiritual maturity and growth. I see the second scenario all the time. Screwing and fighting with the fighting fueling the screwing. But your sanity and soul pay the cost because it takes a toll on you.
Meanwhile, the key words in the first is loving and caring. It didnt say passion doesn't exist, it said it's hard to come by. It's what you make it. Let the fact that you love and care for each other fuel that passion. You're more than likely gonna be able to handle life's problems as a couple when you love and care for each other.
Reason being, and this is just my opinion, but eventually you figure out what matters most...your spiritual maturity and growth. I see the second scenario all the time. Screwing and fighting with the fighting fueling the screwing. But your sanity and soul pay the cost because it takes a toll on you.
Meanwhile, the key words in the first is loving and caring. It didnt say passion doesn't exist, it said it's hard to come by. It's what you make it. Let the fact that you love and care for each other fuel that passion. You're more than likely gonna be able to handle life's problems as a couple when you love and care for each other.
Posted by exoOk. I missed the fact that in scenario two, you're clearly a mistress with no room to go into the wifey. I still pick #2, but with the idea that I'm not staying in that situation. In that case, that relationship is one of convenience for me that I'm doing in the meantime...until I'm ready to get back out there in search of something more serious.
both are shit situations. never settle.
I agree...don't settle if #2 has no room to become a publicly acknowledged relationship...maybe do it for a while and move on.
Posted by beautifulsoul74That's a great point, but when you are a passionate person...convenience with warmth is just not enough. I know it sounds shitty, but it's just true. There's no right answer for everyone. Fair is not that everyone gets the same, but that everyone gets what they need. Feel me?
Ironically, from my observances, people in the second scenario often aspire and long for the first one over time.
Reason being, and this is just my opinion, but eventually you figure out what matters most...your spiritual maturity and growth. I see the second scenario all the time. Screwing and fighting with the fighting fueling the screwing. But your sanity and soul pay the cost because it takes a toll on you.
Meanwhile, the key words in the first is loving and caring. It didnt say passion doesn't exist, it said it's hard to come by. It's what you make it. Let the fact that you love and care for each other fuel that passion. You're more than likely gonna be able to handle life's problems as a couple when you love and care for each other.
Posted by MsTeeq1974I feel you...I'm a passionate person as well...I guess my needs changed 🙂Posted by beautifulsoul74That's a great point, but when you are a passionate person...convenience with warmth is just not enough. I know it sounds shitty, but it's just true. There's no right answer for everyone. Fair is not that everyone gets the same, but that everyone gets what they need. Feel me?
Ironically, from my observances, people in the second scenario often aspire and long for the first one over time.
Reason being, and this is just my opinion, but eventually you figure out what matters most...your spiritual maturity and growth. I see the second scenario all the time. Screwing and fighting with the fighting fueling the screwing. But your sanity and soul pay the cost because it takes a toll on you.
Meanwhile, the key words in the first is loving and caring. It didnt say passion doesn't exist, it said it's hard to come by. It's what you make it. Let the fact that you love and care for each other fuel that passion. You're more than likely gonna be able to handle life's problems as a couple when you love and care for each other.click to expand
Posted by beautifulsoul74Oh how I understand that. I could see my needs MAYBE changing over time, but I'm stubborn. I want what I want and I just don't let up until I get it. Like, it's VERY hard for me to change my mind about what I want/need.Posted by MsTeeq1974I feel you...I'm a passionate person as well...I guess my needs changed 🙂Posted by beautifulsoul74That's a great point, but when you are a passionate person...convenience with warmth is just not enough. I know it sounds shitty, but it's just true. There's no right answer for everyone. Fair is not that everyone gets the same, but that everyone gets what they need. Feel me?
Ironically, from my observances, people in the second scenario often aspire and long for the first one over time.
Reason being, and this is just my opinion, but eventually you figure out what matters most...your spiritual maturity and growth. I see the second scenario all the time. Screwing and fighting with the fighting fueling the screwing. But your sanity and soul pay the cost because it takes a toll on you.
Meanwhile, the key words in the first is loving and caring. It didnt say passion doesn't exist, it said it's hard to come by. It's what you make it. Let the fact that you love and care for each other fuel that passion. You're more than likely gonna be able to handle life's problems as a couple when you love and care for each other.click to expand
Posted by MsTeeq1974I understand. I got what I wanted but figured out it wasn't what I needed and it wasn't a need in the traditional sense. Not knocking you though. As long as you're happy 🙂Posted by beautifulsoul74Oh how I understand that. I could see my needs MAYBE changing over time, but I'm stubborn. I want what I want and I just don't let up until I get it. Like, it's VERY hard for me to change my mind about what I want/need.Posted by MsTeeq1974I feel you...I'm a passionate person as well...I guess my needs changed 🙂Posted by beautifulsoul74That's a great point, but when you are a passionate person...convenience with warmth is just not enough. I know it sounds shitty, but it's just true. There's no right answer for everyone. Fair is not that everyone gets the same, but that everyone gets what they need. Feel me?
Ironically, from my observances, people in the second scenario often aspire and long for the first one over time.
Reason being, and this is just my opinion, but eventually you figure out what matters most...your spiritual maturity and growth. I see the second scenario all the time. Screwing and fighting with the fighting fueling the screwing. But your sanity and soul pay the cost because it takes a toll on you.
Meanwhile, the key words in the first is loving and caring. It didnt say passion doesn't exist, it said it's hard to come by. It's what you make it. Let the fact that you love and care for each other fuel that passion. You're more than likely gonna be able to handle life's problems as a couple when you love and care for each other.click to expand
Posted by YellowSubmarineSo did I.
#2 ALL DAY, EVERY DAY - passion, devotion, emotional and physical fulfillment.. yeah, that works
From personal experience, I’ve learned that outside influences only fuck up a relationship. Nobody else will ever fully understands what goes on between two people, and behind closed doors, so best to leave all their two-cents out of it.
To be fair, #1 is my fucking nightmare. I don’t like being paraded around like a prized possession, and I like my private life to be just that.. p-r-i-v-a-t-e. Plus, I hate being obligated to do things just because I happen to be part of a couple.. if it’s important, of course I’ll pull through. Also, I need to work.
I’ve literally made the choice of #2 over #1 in real life, and never regretted it.
If we talk about stability, 1) is by far the unstable one.
It is heavily influenced by others. It is a relationship a trente.
It finishes with the jobless wife taking the husbands to the cleaners.
I can't believe some see 1) as stable and 2) as unstable.
Firstly, one what planet or universe is a household with one bread winner more stable than one with two bread winners...?
Since when is a luke warm relationship without sex stable? Most divorces probably start with these words or thoughts: "I can't remember last time we fucked. Are you having an affair?"
Firstly, one what planet or universe is a household with one bread winner more stable than one with two bread winners...?
Since when is a luke warm relationship without sex stable? Most divorces probably start with these words or thoughts: "I can't remember last time we fucked. Are you having an affair?"
Taking the husband to the cleaners means trying to take everything during divorce.
I really like the personal spins people put on the 2 situations.
In my head, there was love and caring in both situations.
#1 lacked the passion
#2 lacked the financial and social security as a "couple"
A public persona has a greater importance now. People can get an idea of who you are, or who you portray yourself to be from checking out your social media footprint.
I was also curious what significance having someone else or a partner plays as part of that social makeup.
In my head, there was love and caring in both situations.
#1 lacked the passion
#2 lacked the financial and social security as a "couple"
A public persona has a greater importance now. People can get an idea of who you are, or who you portray yourself to be from checking out your social media footprint.
I was also curious what significance having someone else or a partner plays as part of that social makeup.
#2 lacked the financial and social security as a "couple".
Why? Both earn money and rely less on others.
Why? Both earn money and rely less on others.
A public persona has a greater importance now. People can get an idea of who you are, or who you portray yourself to be from checking out your social media footprint.
I was also curious what significance having someone else or a partner plays as part of that social makeup.
What people are you talking about and why do they matter?
I was also curious what significance having someone else or a partner plays as part of that social makeup.
What people are you talking about and why do they matter?
Posted by tizianiYes agreed. Anyone who chooses either is simply settling which really makes it sad.
Scenario 1 is you having a relationship but you don't have each other.
Scenario 2 is you have each other but you don't actually have a relationship.
Tough break.
Posted by UndineBoth earn money but being married or cohabitating becomes shared resources on some levels. You will ultimately rely more on each other in day to day events.
#2 lacked the financial and social security as a "couple".
Why? Both earn money and rely less on others.
Couples are viewed differently socially than single people. There are expectations of behaviour for both. It's not good or bad it just is.
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What you don't have is babies and parties to plaster on facebook.
Maybe you should ask your fam to arrange a marriage for you...
It works very well for some people, CC.
🙂