rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
13 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
What are your thoughts
The simple communication of a man saying he would take care of me, is appreciated. But totally unnecessary and I would not let it happen.
If the intent behind the words, comes from love and adoration, I really take it as a compliment. But I believe in and value teamwork in all aspects of life.
I feel more women should find their independence. physically, mentally, and emotionally.
If the intent behind the words, comes from love and adoration, I really take it as a compliment. But I believe in and value teamwork in all aspects of life.
I feel more women should find their independence. physically, mentally, and emotionally.
I can take care or myself, but wouldn't mind needing to be adaptable if or when that time came. Until then I've been doing alright all by myself and trying to stay in good health... But I'm content.
Not for me.
And I also think it can be dangerous for people with that mindset. What if, for instance, they find that person and they live together for a long time and then suddenly, the partner breaks up with them or even dies. Then what? A desperate search for that next person? What happens in the meantime or if they don't succeed? How would they function?
And I also think it can be dangerous for people with that mindset. What if, for instance, they find that person and they live together for a long time and then suddenly, the partner breaks up with them or even dies. Then what? A desperate search for that next person? What happens in the meantime or if they don't succeed? How would they function?
Posted by CurlyAriesSome people don't even need 2 of those characteristic traits to be compatible which one is more important to you what do you need .. is it independence? Is physical? Is mental? Is intellectual? Spiritual? Sexual? Psychological? Emotional ? What must you have?
The simple communication of a man saying he would take care of me, is appreciated. But totally unnecessary and I would not let it happen.
If the intent behind the words, comes from love and adoration, I really take it as a compliment. But I believe in and value teamwork in all aspects of life.
I feel more women should find their independence. physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Posted by cloudyWhat is healthy?
doesn't sound healthy to me
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428Posted by CurlyAriesSome people don't even need 2 of those characteristic traits to be compatible which one is more important to you what do you need .. is it independence? Is physical? Is mental? Is intellectual? Spiritual? Sexual? Psychological? Emotional ? What must you have?
The simple communication of a man saying he would take care of me, is appreciated. But totally unnecessary and I would not let it happen.
If the intent behind the words, comes from love and adoration, I really take it as a compliment. But I believe in and value teamwork in all aspects of life.
I feel more women should find their independence. physically, mentally, and emotionally.click to expand
I'm speaking generally. I feel like women need to find and be ok with their independence and not feel like they NEED a man.. once a potential partner comes along, relinquishing parts of each are definitely necessary. Like I said, teamwork is very important.
Posted by rockyroadicecreamThey're called Adult Children.
of the mentality of "finding someone that'll take care of you" when it comes to relationships?
"Okay honey, when you grow up, you find yourself a man that'll take care of you!"
"An adult child is a term commonly used to describe any grown adult who was exposed to emotional, physical or sexual abuse as a child. Description: The term "Adult Children" was first coined by self-help groups supporting the grown children of alcoholic parents."
I don't know. My parents never said those things to me, and I didn't grow up planning my wedding, either. I find that every man I meet is subconsciously (until I'm aware of it) being compared to my father and my four brothers. I was raised treated a certain way by them, and I know straight away when I'm not being treated well. My Virgo reinforced what I have become to believe as a good man and my saggicorn is currently redefining it in a way that reinforces what I've come to understand as goodness from a man, and then taking it to another level, the way a lover can.
So, I suppose, my parents secretly taught me the kind of man I should allow in my life by how my father treated my mother, my sister, and me, and by how they raised my brothers to treat my mother, my sister, and me.
The only time my parents mentioned a husband was when i was watching football and my mother joked that I am so head strong that I would need a football player to be able to live with me. When I turned 20, my father also let me know to approach him any time I felt I wanted to meet someone.
So, I suppose, my parents secretly taught me the kind of man I should allow in my life by how my father treated my mother, my sister, and me, and by how they raised my brothers to treat my mother, my sister, and me.
The only time my parents mentioned a husband was when i was watching football and my mother joked that I am so head strong that I would need a football player to be able to live with me. When I turned 20, my father also let me know to approach him any time I felt I wanted to meet someone.
Posted by rockyroadicecreamI'm looking for a man to take care of me...to stand by my side in sickness and strife. I need someone ride or die. I do want his support...supporting me in my chosen career.
of the mentality of "finding someone that'll take care of you" when it comes to relationships?
"Okay honey, when you grow up, you find yourself a man that'll take care of you!"
But nah, not looking for financial support.
I don't think there is any shame in a woman who would like for her man to take care of her emotionally, financially, or otherwise. Because, believe it or not, there are men who are looking to do just that. To each their own.
Posted by PV&Jellay+1Posted by rockyroadicecreamIts sounding pretty good to me. These days any way.
of the mentality of "finding someone that'll take care of you" when it comes to relationships?
"Okay honey, when you grow up, you find yourself a man that'll take care of you!"
Paying my own bills is overrated as hell. Captain Save em, come find me!
Btw, my parents never sold me that Princess dream. I was told to go to college and get a good job. I did. I'm over it.click to expand
Except for myself, NONE of the women in my family have to work. I have 2 brothers and one sister.
Myself and my sister work; she doesn't have to (her husband makes good money). My story is quite different however.
I was taught how to be independent as a single woman so that I wouldn't have to depend on a man to live, but I was also taught to look for the kind of man who could take care of me as a married woman. I rebelled against the 2nd half of that advice, HARD.
I watch how the ither women in my family live and wish I had taken that advice. As an older woman (not old), I can absolutely appreciate why my parents said what they did. Makes me a little mad at myself for not listening.
Myself and my sister work; she doesn't have to (her husband makes good money). My story is quite different however.
I was taught how to be independent as a single woman so that I wouldn't have to depend on a man to live, but I was also taught to look for the kind of man who could take care of me as a married woman. I rebelled against the 2nd half of that advice, HARD.
I watch how the ither women in my family live and wish I had taken that advice. As an older woman (not old), I can absolutely appreciate why my parents said what they did. Makes me a little mad at myself for not listening.
Posted by rockyroadicecreamSounds like something my mother's generation was taught back in the 60s.
of the mentality of "finding someone that'll take care of you" when it comes to relationships?
"Okay honey, when you grow up, you find yourself a man that'll take care of you!"
Posted by GeminariescharmerNobody wanted a fuckboy's opinion.Posted by rockyroadicecreamYes. This is how it should be
of the mentality of "finding someone that'll take care of you" when it comes to relationships?
"Okay honey, when you grow up, you find yourself a man that'll take care of you!"click to expand
Posted by rockyroadicecreamA person should first learn to be an individual. Take care of himself(on all levels..which includes, not taking offense when other people dont care for him).
of the mentality of "finding someone that'll take care of you" when it comes to relationships?
"Okay honey, when you grow up, you find yourself a man that'll take care of you!"
A person is ready for a relationship(any relationship - not just romantic) when he only cares about giving irrespective of the care she receives from others.
I dont get the sense of entitlement people feel.
Posted by truecapYeeeah, basically.Posted by rockyroadicecreamSounds like something my mother's generation was taught back in the 60s.
of the mentality of "finding someone that'll take care of you" when it comes to relationships?
"Okay honey, when you grow up, you find yourself a man that'll take care of you!"click to expand
This came to mind when I was thinking back on something my brother's girlfriend had said on her Facebook one time to someone commenting on a pic of her and her siblings.
Commenter- "Oh, is that your sister? You two look so alike!"
Her- "Yeah, that's my sister. She's married to someone who is taking good care of her."
A lot here know I am so BLAH about her relationship with my brother. A rebound/white knighting foundation and she's, as someone else mentioned, an "adult child." I don't know how he does it. I get sick of hearing all the sob stories and she wonders why I get so blah around her when this shit happens. "Poor me" for 5 years has worn out its novelty.
But anyway, it really, really rubbed me the wrong way because it's like dafuq? I wasn't surprised by her mentality because she clearly wants someone to take care of her (good ol' oudated hispanic culture). I have warned him over and over about her. I'm just waiting for the shit to hit the fan because it's bound to happen. I started the topic because I was curious to see how common this mentality really is and what the initial reaction would be to such a statement.
Funnily enough, I noticed those in this thread who were on board with this dated mentality are also fixed/have fixed significant placements like she does. I've also noticed fixed signs/placements tend to be obsessive about relationship status/inability to handle being single for any extended amount of time.
One thing that I think of, that someone else mentioned, was having this mentality is dangerous because you're SOL if shit happens and you're all about being taken care of as an adult. She already went through this once when she was going through her divorce (at 22) and had nowhere to go, couldn't drive, didn't have a job, etc. (this is where my tard brother white knighted his way into the situation, *gag*).
Just the idea of being so dependent on someone else as an adult is just a frightening concept. Shit happens and to be so ignorantly narrow minded to the potential issues is just garbage. It also reeks of laziness. "Boo hoo, bills and adulting is hard. Someone do it for me."
They say prostitution is the oldest profession in the world, and a social taboo, yet so many women willingly (and unknowingly) take on the role when it comes to matters like this.
Posted by PV&Jellay"Young people?"
So stay at home wives are prostitutes. LMAO!! Young people.
I just told my friends the other day if they hear a rumor that I've become an escort who dates men for money...it's all true..but to deny the rumors any way. Cause this working shit is for the birds lol. My Scorpio friend shares my humor and requested to be my madam. My Cancer friend responded "Something is wrong with you two." Cardinals. 😆
Yeah no.
When you have women who essentially say "I don't want to work anymore, "please take care of me while I stay at home and provide you with sex and companionship," if you break it down, it's a very similar idea.
Every situation varies, but generally, "ugh, life's too hard and I don't wanna. You do it for me," is generally a pathetic outlook.
In an ideal world, would anyone want to worry about adulting? Fuck no. But that's life. Like you said, you know how to do you and I get what you're saying. But what comes to mind for me are these lazy bitches who think it's 1950 and expect some guy to do all the hard work while she sits back with her legs spread and plays housekeeper. To project that expectation on to any male out there is fucking stupid. I work with several women like this and it makes my eyes want to bleed. They're kinda terrible people- lazy, selfish, and immature.
In my brother's situation, it was actually really having a negative impact on our family because my mom was battling cancer and that was taking up a lot of emotional resources, and here comes his selfish fuck girlfriend, gracing us with her presence and issues that came along with her being an adult child. Just.. gag. "Oh your mom has cancer? Okay. Well here's all my shit to deal with too. I don't care, I HAVE to have someone take care of me! I choose you!"
But whatever. I'm gonna stop thinking about it. It just pisses me off all over again, haha. Fucking people and their crazy... :/
That means a whole lot to my Cancer rising. Haha. Weird!
Right on!
Posted by EllycakesI like this-- you said it well ^^ in bold.
For me it's damn good advice.
I'm an over giver. Enabler. I genuinely enjoy nurturing and soothing and caring for others. So to me, it's frequent and needed advice to remind me to temper my nature until someone willing to invest as much can return it.
To someone else though? It could very well be meaningless or even detrimental advice. I think it depends honestly on the way you are built and relate to others.
Most revert quickly to entitlement., in my world.
Venus Virgo with water moon..
I can identify.
o_____O
Posted by Libra82If we're talking about the sense of having someone who will be there with you and you guys are a team and look out for eachother, that's a big ol' duh and I agree in that sense. But the one sided outlook is kinda unhealthy. "Take care of me!" Nope.
I don't like to depend on anyone but me. You never know what's going to happen in life so if you're an adult you should be able to take care of yourself.
But it really depends on what you mean. If I get sick of course I would want someone who stands by my side and doesn't abandon me when it gets tough.
I see the latter at my job as well. We have a few women there who got married recently and now they see it as a pass to not having to work because now there's a second income. They've become incredibly lazy, never want to work, call off, give away shifts, whine when they're at work how they don't want to be there. It's just annoying as shit.
If this arrangement works for some couples, fine. As a butthurt individual mentioned previously, this isn't about me "looking down my nose" at anyone who this actually works for (fairly). I only see it as a problem when it becomes a detriment to themselves or others (mainly children). So far, in the instances I've personally seen of these lazy bitches expecting to be kept women for life, it's pretty freaking pathetic. Their laziness also doesn't just stay within their relationships, that expectation of people taking care of them/coddling them in life is an issue.
If it was as clear cut and simple as others have implied, I wouldn't have started this topic. But it's disheartening to see this 1950s mentality alive and well today. There's a big difference between "we decided on this and it works best for our relationship," and "I want to be taken care of because life is hard and I don't want to adult and pay bills."
I told myself that I was going to take care of Rockyroadicecream. I later realized that two people on government assistance could not rule the world. She still has a place in my bridge card.
Y'all say that till you're 97 and can't can't get off the toilet.
I would appreciate it. If a man says he will take care of you does not mean he is criticizing you it means he thinks a lot about a relationship with you and find himself potential enough to understand and be by your side whenever you need him. If the relationship isn't supportive, it can be a tremendous drain. Relationships get better or worse, depending on how much or how little we understand our partners. Find out more that can help keep a relationship strong, or repair trust and love in a relationship.
It depends on the person. I did see benefits in my aunt and uncle's marriage. Yeah they had times of struggle and yeah she was the stay at home wife who had 3 kids over a 10 year period, but she was not lazy by any means. She helped him get his business off the ground, was involved with the community, was always there to help the church and organize plays, and was always home for her kids.. With all homework, projects, violin and piano lessons, etc.
Like I said, it depends on the person.
Like I said, it depends on the person.
She's an aries too. He's a sag. Kids are aries taurus pisces.
One thing my ex used to complain about with me is that "I never needed him." His father taught him to take care and provide for the family. So when I made more money than him, he felt less of a man in a way.
I on the other hand had a "father" who never did anything for our family. My Mom was always the one who worked the most. But there were 4 children so she did what she could.
I grew up knowing not to rely on anyone and to be able to take care of myself. This was a double edge sword...my ex husband ended up cheating on me with someone who was very needy and called upon him to help her with everything. Also, it taught me to be more rough in my approach when discussing what I could do on my own (which in my mind was everything at the time.) He ended up wanting me back, but I told myself there was no way I needed a man like that.
Later on my current boyfriend taught me that yes, I don't need anyone but it's ok to rely on someone. It doesn't make me a bad person or needy and he wants to provide for me as well. Of course he accepts that I'm strong willed though and will do anything I set my mind to. But I've learned there is a happy medium. Do enough and know enough that you are not dependent on anyone. But don't be afraid to let someone in and allow them to help/take care of you. That's what I've learned about all this.
I on the other hand had a "father" who never did anything for our family. My Mom was always the one who worked the most. But there were 4 children so she did what she could.
I grew up knowing not to rely on anyone and to be able to take care of myself. This was a double edge sword...my ex husband ended up cheating on me with someone who was very needy and called upon him to help her with everything. Also, it taught me to be more rough in my approach when discussing what I could do on my own (which in my mind was everything at the time.) He ended up wanting me back, but I told myself there was no way I needed a man like that.
Later on my current boyfriend taught me that yes, I don't need anyone but it's ok to rely on someone. It doesn't make me a bad person or needy and he wants to provide for me as well. Of course he accepts that I'm strong willed though and will do anything I set my mind to. But I've learned there is a happy medium. Do enough and know enough that you are not dependent on anyone. But don't be afraid to let someone in and allow them to help/take care of you. That's what I've learned about all this.
I would love to find that.
Posted by rockyroadicecreamIn a relationship, the income doubles overnight and the time spent on chores and errands is halved. What's not to like?
of the mentality of "finding someone that'll take care of you" when it comes to relationships?
"Okay honey, when you grow up, you find yourself a man that'll take care of you!"
Plus when poor health you have backup.
Posted by libraqueenThere are men & some women who would love to be a house spouse.Posted by ReincarnationThis.
I would gladly do it, but it doesn't come free.
I want love and a clean, orderly home in return.
Women are so ashamed of being home keepers nowadays.
And men are so diligent on avoiding "gold diggers."click to expand
Poor woman who ends up as a gold digger with gold having no value.
And people wonder why some men don't get married.
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